WEBVTT - Making Marriage Work with Jacqie Rivera and Mike Campos 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:03.600 Through marriage. Now that in your second marriage, your new marriage, 0:00:03.800 --> 0:00:05.760 what are the like, the best advice that you can 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:08.479 give us that are trying to make things work. 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:12.840 I think it's definitely communication, but more communication when you 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:13.840 don't feel like it. 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:16.520 I used to be the one that would criticize the 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:19.160 stay at whole month. I'll be honest, and I've been 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:23.680 doing it for about a year and I'm just like, no, honestly, 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:27.200 my respects. You start at six am and you don't 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:30.720 stop till eight nine o'clock at night, and you don't 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:39.360 get paid for this, dude. 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:45.320 Hello you guys, and welcome to season three of Cheeky's 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:49.440 and Chill in our brand new set. You guys right up, 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:51.839 applause for that. I'm so excited. This is our very 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:54.440 first episode and I am grateful when I have like 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:59.040 little cards of that we are elevating this so to 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:02.400 start this very first episode the third season, thanks to 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:04.440 you guys, To all the listeners, thank you so much. 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:08.640 I have a very special actually two very special guests. 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:13.360 One of them have been on the pod before. She 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:18.039 is a entrepreneur, she is a singer, she is a 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:21.959 CEO a very important company. She's a mommy, she's a wife, 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:27.080 and she's my sister, Jacqueline, Jacqueline rivera compos and her husband, 0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:29.960 Mike compos You guys, a round of applause for them. 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:34.360 Everyone at home clap too. And I'm just kidding. Just 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:36.720 be careful. But anyways, you guys, thank you so much 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.039 for coming, Thank you for staying here. 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:38.839 Thank you. 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:45.600 Of course, the colors are warm, right, very cute. Yes, 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:48.160 exactly because you guys actually we're talking about this and 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:49.960 and thank you because I wanted it to be very 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.320 warm and homey and for it to give you like 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:57.200 a nice little just warm hub. Yes, and talking about that, 0:01:57.840 --> 0:01:59.200 there's a few things that I'm going to talk to 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:01.480 my sister, sure and Mike about. I call Mike my 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:05.000 bro or you know, that's my homie. But I don't 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:07.640 want to talk too much about a certain subject about 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:11.239 their relationship because, as many of you may know, or 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:13.280 maybe you don't know, Jackie and Mike, you guys have 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.959 been married for how long, eleven years in total, eleven 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:20.280 years in total. They just got remarried. They just renewed 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.880 their vowels and that was beautiful. I have to I 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:25.160 have to say, you guys have had a blast ethnic wedding. 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:26.640 Sister, your speech was amazing. 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:30.359 Really, I don't remember. I was. I was a little buzzed, 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:31.959 but it was so funny because let me, can I 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:35.959 be honest, the first wedding it was. I was like, okay, 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:37.800 let me tell you, guys. The first wedding there was 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:39.919 no alcohol. No, there was only Christian. 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:41.040 We got married on Wednesday. 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.399 They got married on a Wednesday. My mom and I. 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:45.440 I think stuff was getting a little weird between my 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:49.440 mom and I then, so it was the tension was weird. Anyways, Fine, 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:51.240 it was, it was great, but this one was so 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:51.760 much better. 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:54.400 And I mean it was. It's very completely different. 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:54.600 I did. 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:58.400 Like an alto. 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:03.000 So is it safe to say that you guys were 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:07.040 more religious back then? Yes? And the mindset by the rules, 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:10.480 living by the rules, which is there's a difference between 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:14.000 like religion and being a person of faith. Yes, right, 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:16.079 relations explained that real quick. I don't know who wants 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:17.400 to go first, but you guys. 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:20.280 Well very you know. I'll let Jackie explain it more 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:25.040 in details. But back then it was more taught if 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:27.720 you act a certain way out like if I look 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:33.840 better outside outwardly, then then that makes you a good Christian. 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.360 So that's why our first wedding you can kind of 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:38.360 see there was a lot of like, let's make sure 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:41.920 it looks good. But then at that time I didn't 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:44.240 know what was more important was the inside. 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:48.080 So yeah, the relationship exactly, which I see a huge 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:50.560 difference in you, Mike in so many different ways, you guys, 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:52.160 because we're going to talk a little bit. And again, 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:53.800 the whole point that I was saying was we can't 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:55.360 talk too much. We don't want to talk too much 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:58.320 about the depth of the relationship because they've gone through 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:01.000 a lot and they got remarried and they're just two 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:04.600 completely different people. Their relationship is completely different. Because Mike, 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:06.920 my brother in law here, is going to come out 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.320 with his own actually already came out with his own podcast. 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:11.880 His podcast is called what is it called? I want 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:12.680 him to introduce it. 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:16.240 It's embarrassing to be proud. Well, in the process, I'm 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.040 working in my own self confidence and stuff like that. 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:21.719 But it's actually going to be called the Mac effect. 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:24.760 So the Mac effect, you guys. So I think I 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.240 think it's awesome, but it's also because those are your initials. 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:27.800 Those are my initials. 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:28.719 Because he's a mac. 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:34.960 Daddy, but he ain't no mac daddy, Okay, And then 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:36.760 what are you going to talk about on that podcast? 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:39.560 Well, the purpose for it at first, because I already 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:42.920 have I actually sat down with my wife and I 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.800 asked for her help as far as you know, helped 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:48.600 me how to schedule the first season. So I already 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:53.400 have the first ten episodes as far as what we're 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:55.440 going to discuss. But the purpose of it is to 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:59.960 help other men. I really want to help men because 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:03.839 I feel like we don't get that help. Like it's 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:05.560 not easy for a man to say, hey, you know what, 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.200 I'm struggling in my marriage or I'm struggling. 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:11.360 As a man, especially as latinos han. Yeah, I'm a cheesemoll. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:12.880 There's a little bit of yeah pride. 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:16.599 Oh and I'm still going through it now. So that's 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:18.720 kind of the purpose. And then if it branches off 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:21.360 to other stuff, you know, for marriages and things like that, 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:22.520 then let's go for it, you know. 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:26.320 And yeah, you guys are going to talk about all 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:28.760 the because there were so many things that were said 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:32.359 and not even said but made up too about your guys' 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:33.920 relationship and just a lot of stuff. I'm shure, you 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.000 guys are going to talk about that, which I think 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:38.839 is super cool because you it should come out of 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.680 you guys, and this is your relationship and you guys 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:44.240 should do it together, which I think is awesome. So 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:46.800 congratulations on that, bro. I think that's awesome. I think 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:49.760 that that's what I do here on the podcast. I'm 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:52.640 very honest and about everything, and that's the only way 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.440 is to change lives is if we're honest and well 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:58.480 exactly being vulnerable. There's so much power and being vulnerable. 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:00.880 So I think that that's great, especially being a voice 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.920 for Latino men in general. I mean there, I think 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.880 we there's so many taboos, you know, and all this stuff. 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:08.919 So so I think that's great. I wish you the 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:10.599 very best, and maybe one day I can go on 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:11.560 your podcast. 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:12.440 Dude, Yeah for sure. 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:14.880 Okay, well, all right, we're gonna go to mac Daddy's. 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:19.719 I mean, not mac Daddy's, the Mac Effect. Okay. So 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:21.960 I don't even know. I didn't really have too much 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:23.960 planned as to what we wanted to talk about, because 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:25.640 there's so much to talk about. I do want to 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.000 kind of and I'm glad that that Mike is here 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.640 because we've had, we've been on the on the podcast, 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.080 and we've talked about different things, even on Janica's podcast 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:36.280 over Comfort You guys check those episodes out as well, 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:38.640 because we had very deep conversations on there as well. 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:43.560 I know. Anyways, we're such cribaby and media always says, 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:45.680 I mean, I was like, you and Jackie are like 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:48.720 like so much alike. It's crazy. We're like goofy and 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:49.760 silly and like. 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:52.680 The voice everything everything is true. 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:57.919 So this is you, guys. Raised Yeah, So okay, So 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:00.520 I wanted to talk to you about first of all, 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:04.280 the mom makeover okay, which I was there. Yes, I 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:06.400 helped out, but I have to tell you guys, and 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:10.120 I said this on Thanksgiving again, I was drinking the case. 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:15.080 I don't remember too, but it was awesome because I've 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.320 seen the change in your guys' relationship and in both 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:21.040 of you, but I got to experience it firsthand being 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:25.520 there helping take care of you. Yeah, and I love 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:28.360 that he was like this is my wife. Like he 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:30.880 was like on it, you know what I mean, And 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:33.600 like even the first day you're like, I respected like, hey, 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:35.080 do you need me there? The very first day you're 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.840 like okay, no, like I think it's it was beautiful. 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:40.840 But anyways, I got there helping her out. But dude, 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:44.200 let me tell you, guys, the patience of this man 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:50.080 that I was, like, whoa asked that melanim It gives 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:53.600 me emotional because it gets me emotional because he was 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:55.160 very different. And he'll tell you guys about this on 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:56.720 his podcast. He's going to be like, but he was 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.320 very different. I mean even you sister were very pa 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:02.120 You're very different. Now it's I see it. It's a 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:04.160 very strong relationship. But the fact that he was taking 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:10.480 care of my sister and was wiping her booty and everything, 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:12.400 like was patient to I don't know how this guy 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:14.840 did it. I don't know how he did it because 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:16.840 he would wake up and take the kids to school 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:18.800 and and he would make them their their pack, their 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:21.000 lunch and the breakfast and take some and then come 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:22.800 back and pick up the other one and then take 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:24.520 care of my sister. And it was just I'm glad 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:26.200 of that Janica and I because it wasn't just me. 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:29.360 Janica also helped out that you freaking were there, dude, 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:31.720 and the way that you're loving my sister, like I 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:34.240 can tell you that I'm so grateful that you guys 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.720 have stayed together and have four beautiful children, you know, 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:40.240 and I'm very proud of you guys. I have to 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.080 say it. And what I said on Thanksgiving, and I 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:45.880 don't really remember what it was, but I know it 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.240 was about your relationship. But like this guy and I 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:49.760 was crying. 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:51.800 I think, I think you're really grateful for him. 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:55.360 People. I'm grateful for you to. I'm grateful for you, 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:57.400 and I'm proud of where you guys have come and 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:00.280 how long you guys and how hard you guys have 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.680 both worked for this relationship and you guys, you guys 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.760 have Can I say who your therapists are? Your counselors? Okay, 0:09:06.880 --> 0:09:09.160 because Tanya, who's also been on the podcast, you guys. 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:14.160 I met Tanya because of my sister and Tanya, and 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:15.480 I think I kind of touched on it a little bit. 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:18.199 So my sister gave me five sessions to Tanya for 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:22.199 Christmas and was it a Christmas for my birthday? Was 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:26.120 my birthday? One of the best gifts ever, you guys, 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:29.800 And from there developed we had like a like I mean, 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:31.480 she's helped me out so much with so many things, 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:36.760 and now she is also and Rudy is now Tanya's 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:40.520 husband is also now a medial s life coach, so 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:42.559 it's going to be. They did a whole two hour 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:45.800 session the other day. He came to dude, I'm blown away. 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:47.360 I am mentor. 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:49.640 He's your mentor. Yeah, so that's who helped you, guys 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:50.800 your relationship. Right. 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:55.280 Well, first, Tanya was his therapist before I started going. 0:09:55.400 --> 0:10:00.320 I started going. We were separated because I you, I 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:03.640 needed the help, so I started going to Tanya before 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:07.880 and then uh, and it was just crazy, like Tanya 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:12.679 really blessed me because her testimony is insane. And then uh, 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:14.960 and then I don't know, out of the boose, I 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.920 convinced her again to give you another shot. And while 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:22.120 we were talking, I said, well, I told her like, hey, 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.760 if we're going to try this again, like we're going 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:27.800 to do things differently, which is we're definitely getting counseling, 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:31.439 like we're not doing this alone. And those were some sessions. 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.640 Wow, dude, so it came from you. I didn't know this. 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:35.240 Yeah. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.079 See you guys, Okay, see like there's I'm a I'm 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.360 a huge advocate for for for therapy. You guys, I 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.960 always say so thanks to Mike, he's the one that 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.640 introduced us to Tany. They're amazing breath of a breath 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:50.360 of breath of breath of life. You guys, so if 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:53.280 you want to check them out, But okay, so that's 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.120 awesome and you guys still go with them. Yeah, it's 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:57.600 it's I think it's do you think like it's in 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:00.920 life thing that that well we're gonna need. 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:03.959 I think definitely, just because we have different seasons in 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:06.320 our life. I mean there's different curve balls that life 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:09.280 throws at us, and you you just need that sounding 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:10.960 board to get it all off. 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:11.360 You know. 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:13.680 Sometimes you're gonna feel really amazing. Sometimes you're just gonna 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:15.120 be like, no, I need to go back, And there's 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:17.079 nothing wrong with that. Yeah, It's not like you get 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:18.360 better and then that's it. 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:19.199 You're good for life. 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:21.040 Yeah. I feel it's kind of like a like a 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:23.000 like a car. We need a sign change, we need 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.120 to fine tuning exactly because I think for sure it's 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:26.360 something that I want to do for the rest of 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:29.280 my life. And now you know it's premarital counseling that 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:31.960 I there are things that you know, I'm realizing and 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:35.000 I'm not perfect right. You know, I thought I was okay, 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:39.200 So it's like, okay, Emilio's so patient. He's just so different. 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:40.680 I mean, you should have them on your podcast too, 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:42.840 that would be awesome, so you guys would talk about 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:50.560 that would be cool. How is the relationship now that 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:56.160 you're CEO, Like, has it been Has it been tough? Honestly? 0:11:56.640 --> 0:11:59.120 I think, I mean, I think there's moments that make 0:11:59.160 --> 0:11:59.640 it tough. 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:01.920 And I'm CEO of January Enterprises by the way, just 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:07.000 in case anyone doesn't know that's our mom anyways. 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:11.160 I think there's moments that are tough just because I'm 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:16.360 I'm totally like not Mike is taking care of the home, 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:18.040 so there's growth that he. 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:19.480 Had to learn, and then there I had to let 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.240 go in order for me to take care of Jerry. 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.559 But it's a lot of checking in and when we 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:27.960 got to talk, and sometimes being intentional about having those 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.199 meetings is the tough part. Like it takes a lot 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.920 of intentionality because we can get a disconnect and you 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:35.160 don't want that. I don't want to get into a 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.600 routine and then check out of my home because I'm 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:38.600 trying to take care of this. 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:40.400 So you're being smart. 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.400 There's a lot of intentionality that's needed. 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:44.760 Okay, So when you say take care of the home, like, 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.920 what do you mean? Like he I saw it, So 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:48.960 I mean he you take. 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:51.880 Care of everything he does. He's significed a lot. 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.560 Yeah, And that's what I wanted to ask you, because again, 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:57.319 being a Latino man, how is that? 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:00.960 Well, there's and I'll go more into depth, you know 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.720 some other time, either here mine or it doesn't matter. 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:08.400 But what's crazy is just that you know, there's there's 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.960 past trauma that we're still living through or we were 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.160 living through. So just to kind of give a little 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:15.440 bit of an example in our I always say in 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:19.440 our first marriage because we're in our second one, you know, 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.360 but in our first marriage, we kind of tried the 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.679 I quit my job and I was trying to pursue 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.800 real estate at that time. And at that time, real 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:32.800 estate is just like it's infested with agents, Like everyone 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:35.240 has a THEO or a THEA or someone that's in 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:39.920 real estate. So it's just it's hard. And then it 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.439 wasn't working for us, and that's when we kind of 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.760 started having our hardship, and that's when we broke up. 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:49.679 When we separated, So then coming back together. I was working, 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:53.800 She's working, and then we get hit with the hey, 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.960 you know, Jerry's coming. I'm gonna start working for my mom. 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.720 It's gonna become serious. What do we do? And we 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.720 start noticing the kids are just everywhere because I was 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:05.360 so busy at work, she was busy at work, and 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:09.000 we had a nanny or a babysitter, but like JJ 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:11.480 when he would go to the babysitter, he would just 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:13.559 start crying like he didn't like it. 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:15.560 Yeah, which made that for six months. 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:18.160 Yeah, yeah, first, so it was it was quite some time. 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:21.760 And then eventually I just told her, I said, hey, look, 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:24.200 I'll be honest, like at my job too, I'm unhappy 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.080 because it's it's always I was a recruiter, and it's 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:30.000 always it's always like get more people, get more people 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:34.760 like nunka. It's never enough, so there's always demand, demand, demand. 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:37.120 So then I'm like, I'm not happy with that, like 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.640 I you know, I'm not, and we just kind of 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:42.760 both felt like should you stay home? And then I 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:45.680 dedicate myself into this full time, which. 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:47.080 For for us it's it was hard. 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:50.440 It seemed like it was going to be the best 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:54.000 thing for our family, but it was also carried trauma 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:57.440 from from what happened the first time. So it's like 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:00.520 we had to intentionally heal those things that way we 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.480 can do this because it felt like we both had 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.640 an understanding that this is what needs to happen. 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:05.920 But it's scary. 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:07.560 It's scary. Yeah. 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:10.280 And then and then the machismo part too, is like, 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:12.960 you know, you don't want people saying that you know, 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.520 it's not Montaniano and all this stuff. So I had 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.520 my sessions with Rudy and I'm like, what do you think? 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.560 And Rudy's like, Bro, if God puts you in a place, 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:25.720 what does it matter what people say, That's the place 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:29.120 God puts you in. And I still battle with it 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.040 till today. Like till today, I'm like, man, like I 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:35.480 feel like I need to be doing something, but you 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.040 see the fruits in the house. 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:38.920 Like you are doing something like Jackie Saw. 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.120 I tell Jackie all the time. You know, I'm gonna 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:45.480 be honest. I used to be the one that would 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:48.520 criticize the stay at home moms. I'll be honest. I 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.480 would say, you know, how hard is. 0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:52.560 It to stay home to cook and to clean? 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.000 Yeah, Like I'm like you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're picking 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:56.960 up the kids, you're dropping off, Like, how hard can 0:15:57.000 --> 0:15:59.320 this be? It is, And I've been doing it for 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:03.760 about a year and I'm just like, no, honestly, my 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:08.760 respects because where you start at six am and you 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:12.360 don't stop till eight nine o'clock at night, I know. 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:15.120 And you don't get paid for this, dude, so it's 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:16.360 like it's work. 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:19.200 Yeah. No, And I saw it, and I commend you 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.960 because it's a question I've been wanting to ask you 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:24.920 because we've never we have never talked about it, and 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:26.600 my sister was just like, and it just says, you know, 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.400 it works. I respect it works for you, guys. I 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:33.000 see why, and I think you raising your children is 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.560 way better than someone else. Especially if JJ was crying. 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.880 There's a reason why he was crying, so he prefers 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:39.720 his dad. While you're doing what you got to do, 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.240 and you figure that out in your organizing everything, then 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:43.880 you guys can figure out what you do next year 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:48.160 the following. But I think it's definitely an amazing thing 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:51.880 that you're doing because I saw you wake up super early. 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:53.680 My sister couldn't even talk to the kid she was 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:56.400 in so much she just felt not so nauseous. You guys, 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:58.240 that's the whole other thing we can talk about another time, 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:01.920 but her experience. But it is a lot of work. 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:03.120 It is a lot of work. In a way. It's 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:04.879 kind of like, oh, just go and wake up and 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.159 go to work and come back and but staying home 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:10.919 because a dish a boom. That's why I was like 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:12.360 when I was like, I'm gonna help them watch the dish, 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:13.679 it like I'm gonna like, I don't want him to 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:15.840 worry because he was caring for my sister and then 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:18.560 the kids, and it's a lot. So I think I 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.520 personally feel that that's that's dope that you that you 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.240 could say, I'm gonna put my pride to the side, 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.200 and I f what everyone else says middle fingers up 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:29.800 and boom because it doesn't matter. Rudy's absolutely right. It's 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:32.240 what works for you, guys. And I think it's awesome 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:33.720 that you can go and you do what you're doing 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.879 for mom, which I know that's hard in itself. Sister. 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:38.160 I get home super tired. 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:42.360 Sometimes it's a lot, it's mentally emotionally, especially with everything 0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:45.720 that we've been through. The past year with the family, 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:47.720 and I'm sure you hear it, because I'm sure she 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:50.040 cries at night and tells you. And it's a lot 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:52.720 of stress. And that's another thing, Like I say it 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:54.360 all the time, I'm so proud of my sister, and 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.520 like it's I was there and what it is to 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:00.879 my mom was here physically, like, but when I was 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:04.680 helping my mom build her her her empire, that was hard. 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:06.879 But even now not having her and you want to 0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:09.000 ask her, like, Mom, what do you want? It's just 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:09.720 the right decision. 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:12.639 That's I'm like, damn, I don't even know what she 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:13.160 would want. 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:16.000 And how like you have your business, you guys have 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:20.440 the Colores, you have your household, you have it's so. 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:24.399 Much, it is, it's a lot. I think, like I 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:26.919 said last time, it just takes a lot of intentionality. 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:31.080 I think with mom in the business, there's been a 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.040 lot of science, which I'm so grateful because I get peace. 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:35.760 But then you know, there's a lot. 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:39.199 Of drama as well, and I have I think this 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.320 year has been not bringing that stuff home, yeah, you know, 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:45.120 and not checking out at home because I'm so tired 0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:47.919 from the day and so emotionally drained or mentally drained. 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:51.840