1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:11,399 Speaker 1: Welcome to jay dot im a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome, Welcome, 2 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: Welcome back, Hi everybody, welcome to j dot ilga podcast. 3 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: You've been asking for some more episodes, and here is one. Okay, 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: here is one. I am here with my sister friends 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: l yah st Clair, Hello everybody, and my other sister 6 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: friend Aga grading Dans. So here's here's the scenario. I 7 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: have a I can't say names at all, have a 8 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: friend who has had a tough go in relationships definitely 9 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: has almost decided to give up on love, like almost. 10 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: There's been some physical abuse, there's been some verbal abuse, 11 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: um and and this is watching the whole thing, like 12 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: over the course of of the last um twenty years 13 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 1: or so. That's a long time to experience any level 14 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: of abuse at all. But she's finally found someone. Her 15 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: process was to stop looking and to kind of let 16 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: go and let God, if you will, to allow divine 17 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: intervention to to take its place. And it did. Divine 18 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: intervention absolutely did came and showed her something completely uh surprising, loving, gentle, patient, present, fun, passionate, romantic, 19 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: uh joyful, Like these are these are really big words. 20 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: I'm not just throwing them out there. These are big words, 21 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: especially for someone who has experienced a lot of pain 22 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: in the past, and completely it's it's honestly, when I 23 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: when I when I see her, the glow in her eyes, 24 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,359 Speaker 1: I've never seen her look like this, She's never been 25 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: more beautiful. Like honestly, it's like, wow, look at look 26 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: at this love just radiating all over you, which is 27 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,239 Speaker 1: what everybody wants, right, you want the kind of love 28 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: that just beams off of you, you know. And and 29 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: it's it's been about uh for them maybe five and 30 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:37,119 Speaker 1: a half years or so. However, you know there's always something. Yeah, 31 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 1: I'm waiting on the gag. Yeah, the sex ain't sex 32 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: and ah, okay, let's that's that's get into happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 33 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: everything he's everything, but yes, everything but that this is 34 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: a lot of guy will say, Yeah, a lot of 35 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 1: the relationships in the past have been primarily based on 36 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: the whole sexual aspect. So you know, put it plain. 37 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,839 Speaker 1: If the dick is good, you know, then we'll work 38 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: everything out, you know what I mean. I definitely have 39 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: said that once or twice in my life, and I'm 40 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 1: sure that mistake has been made many times. Listen, um 41 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: that if the Dick is good, then we could we 42 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: rock this thing. We could stay here and make it work, 43 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: or I'll forgive some things or ignore some things, because 44 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,959 Speaker 1: that that work is that you know powerful, Yes, it 45 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: really legitimately hitting for that is not the state. What 46 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: she has here is everything else. So I got questions 47 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: because when you say I'm all for this topic, because 48 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: I know this well, I've been through this to myself. 49 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 1: My question is is the partner? Is it the motion 50 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: and the ocean or is it the tool that he 51 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: is using? Because we can work with motion. Tool is hard, 52 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: but is it the motionlogy is difficult to overcome, but 53 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: skill level can be adjusted exactly do you know the 54 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: answer to that? Jill, Like we talked about this quite 55 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: a bit. It's it's the skill level. It's it's that 56 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: skill level is fixed up a whole Netflix. They got 57 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:32,159 Speaker 1: a whole They got a whole thing. They got two 58 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: different ones. They got one called the Pleasure Principles, and 59 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: then they got another one that when if Paltrow did, 60 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:43,239 Speaker 1: called Love, Sex and Goop. I literally just watch these 61 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 1: recently just out of curiosity, and I'm like, you does 62 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 1: and let me tell you I got some information that 63 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: I did not have before. And so I think what 64 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:00,040 Speaker 1: happens is that we think, like many things, we and 65 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: you become an adult, you're just supposed to know a thing. 66 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 1: Where were we supposed to learn this stuff from? And 67 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: most of us and when I say us, I mean 68 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: people who are like Gen X or old millennials or whatever, 69 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: most of us and even some young boomers, because some 70 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: of us know some young boomers who were cool with 71 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: So it's like, at the end of the day, this 72 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: whole group, we weren't taught about sexuality. We weren't taught 73 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,479 Speaker 1: about sensuality, we weren't taught about how to make love 74 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: to someone. These are things that we learned by trial 75 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: and error, and like people just don't learn. And then 76 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: and then also to there's a biological party. Yeah, there's 77 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: a biological aspect of it that we don't know either. 78 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: Most of us don't know our bodies, and most of 79 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: us don't know women's bodies in particular, or people with 80 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: parts that are associated with being a woman. People do 81 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 1: not get these things. Like there's so many things about 82 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 1: our bodies that we never see that we don't know. 83 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just throw this out here. I literally just 84 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: found out a week ago how large the clarterers really is. 85 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: You would tell us Angel he was telling us about 86 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: this the other day. We all been thinking, like we knew, look, 87 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 1: and we've been so so focused on on the man 88 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: and his size of penis when we really want this, this, 89 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: this that's balling out here, because really, when you talk 90 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: about all of the cells and everything, the cells are 91 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: all the same. They just configure slightly differently for a 92 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: body that goes on to be called a boy and 93 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: a body that goes on to be called a girl. 94 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: But it's all the same. So all of the same 95 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: tissue that is used to make a penis, that same 96 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,719 Speaker 1: tissue is used to make the glitterings. We we knew 97 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: that because that's why sensitives to make the city. It's sensitive, 98 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: so we're it's sensitive and large covers a lot of 99 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: real estate. And really, I guess you're right to the 100 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: actuality when we ask the question of movement versus tools, 101 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: I was actually thinking, I've been on the other side 102 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: of that, and I've been with mine that I loved 103 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: and they had everything and blah blah, bah blah. We 104 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: was great friends. But the tool was just so minute 105 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: that it was, you know, but even with that, I 106 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,119 Speaker 1: hadn't had to know my body and go be still, 107 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this after you. I'm gonna just let 108 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: me just do this because I know where it is 109 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: in you know. No, actually it didn't. It just it worked. 110 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: It worked, It just it wasn't It wasn't enough. So 111 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: I guess it was it was a tool thing, because yeah, 112 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: it's still I still had to figure out so bad 113 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: about the tool situation because I'm like, how can I 114 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: may I mean, what can you do? Well, you're I mean, 115 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: well that's not true. I mean for sure, I mean, 116 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,239 Speaker 1: you know you can get someone to climax. I'm just saying, 117 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: like that particular kind of thing you can't change now. 118 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: But but we talked about that when you're looking for 119 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: someone to reach a place. That is the challenging part 120 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: about having been with other partners because you've been somewhere 121 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: else and you know that there's a spot that that 122 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: can be touched and reached, but it can't be touched 123 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: and reached by this person. But that's but that's not 124 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: your friend, but your girlfriend, that's not I feel like 125 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: she still has hope. There are so many like with 126 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: Asia said, it's like so many movies, books and things 127 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: in that nature of the karmacet. You'll be trying all 128 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: that ship. That's the part, right, just try all that ship. 129 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: That's what I say. It's the exploration of it all. Yeah, 130 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 1: And they have a high trust level, so that right there, right, 131 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: And so I'm very hot, be inspired because there's so 132 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 1: much to do. There's so much fun to be had. 133 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 1: It's just because it's not like that, you know, doesn't 134 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: mean it can't be like yes, that part and are 135 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: they talking about this open communication about the fact that 136 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 1: we need work on this, like like one are the 137 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: conversations that people really having about sex? Because honestly, I 138 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: don't think the couples talk about it as much as 139 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: they should impartially because I said, this isn't the not 140 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: knowing of the self. A lot of people generation they're 141 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 1: not having conversations about sex. Actually, I think it would 142 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: be really hard to come to your partner and say 143 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: I'm not satisfied sexually. I would not want to have 144 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: that conversation. That's a mandatory thing. You have to say it, 145 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: and you have to say it before you do something 146 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: else about it. Like I'm kind of glad someone came 147 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: to me at some point in my life and was like, 148 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna need it a little more. And I was 149 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 1: thinking my me and myself, I was thinking, I'm killing 150 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: the game. What what you doing there? Amos la la? 151 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:54,839 Speaker 1: And also you know you well that too. And I'm 152 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: just also saying being open to when he say, I'm 153 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 1: I mean, you have to communicate what you want, because 154 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: I also had somebody be like I need that thing. 155 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 1: It's like a little bit more too, you know what 156 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, are we had that conversation before though, 157 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: But yeah, but then the women don't say it too. 158 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: But I think that while men feel comfortable saying it, 159 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: I don't think that women always feel comfortable saying like 160 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 1: I know I've had issues even when I've been approached 161 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: to be like, tell me what you want, and it's 162 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 1: like because in the back of your mind you just 163 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: want him to find it, and it just be like that, 164 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: like we just clink up. But it's that's not reality, 165 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 1: and so it is reality. It is. It's you can 166 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: ultimately meet someone and and be like rockham sock' robot okay, 167 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,679 Speaker 1: and then how you're going to get everything else? On 168 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 1: the list too. That's the thing. But you're not gonna 169 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: get everything else on the list. You're gonna have, You're 170 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: gonna have a great sexual chemistry. Like for instance, there 171 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: was a someone that I dated for a while and 172 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: I he had a cent. It was a scent, and 173 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: at first it didn't like it. Whatever the scent was, 174 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: I didn't like what that was. And then somehow another 175 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: I realized that that was his what do you call 176 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 1: it pharomone? Yeah it was It was for me was 177 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: a pheromone, but it was a stinky scent or it 178 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,959 Speaker 1: just bothered. It just wasn't something that I wanted to smell. 179 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. It just put me off a little. 180 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,719 Speaker 1: And then but we kept spending time together, hanging out 181 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 1: talking blah blah blah, and and all of a sudden 182 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,559 Speaker 1: that smell became like a pheromone to me, and my 183 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: body would respond in ways that would shock me, like 184 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 1: it was shut down, like buddles, Oh it's good thing, buds, 185 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: Yeah for team smells like yeah, after he has a haircut, 186 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:54,599 Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. Might I love that 187 00:11:54,679 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: area anyhow? Um right, more real talk after the break, 188 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 1: Like I'm in Atlanta right now as well, and I'm like, 189 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 1: wait a minute, it's like eighteen or twenty two to one. 190 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 1: I've been I've been watching, I've been going out and 191 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 1: I've been watching people on dates, you know, because it's 192 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: that's one of my favorite things on the planet to do, 193 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: is people watch. People are so interesting. And I've been 194 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:39,439 Speaker 1: looking at these bomb ass looking I don't know what 195 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 1: they're like internally, obviously, but I'm looking at these beautiful women, 196 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 1: beautiful women out with with dudes that literally looked like 197 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 1: for Ranky's. Okay, so you're in Atlanta, So you're in Atlanta. 198 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: You understand that it is real, Like you just said, 199 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: you just get the numbers at Jill and you educ 200 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 1: ay women too, because it's like so many universities and 201 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 1: colleges in Atlanta. But I always, you know, for the lawyers, 202 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: they married them, d C. That's just where the boys 203 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: meet and they get married, and it's just odd. I'm 204 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,679 Speaker 1: just watching it and I'm looking at all of these 205 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: I'm talking. There was one girl at a restaurant. Woman 206 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 1: she was, you know, just like my favorite curR of people. 207 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 1: She was. If I will say that, like I have 208 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: a like a preference. I really really love reddish colored 209 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: people with freckles, black and red hair and black but black. 210 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: That thing, I just I'm fascinated. I'm not a friend 211 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: like that. It's gorgeous. It is gorgeous. It's a beautiful look. 212 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 1: I think it's such a beautiful children, men, women, old, young. 213 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: I just think that's so pretty to me. But anyway, 214 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: this is what this young woman looked like. She looked 215 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: like a beautiful model. And I'm looking at her and 216 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 1: she this little guy with his clothes were so tight, 217 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: and it just wasn't it wasn't It wasn't nice. He 218 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 1: wasn't hurt, she wasn't his first choice. She wasn't his 219 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 1: first choice. I mean, well, how do y'all know, y'all 220 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: know what doing? You don't know what that thing is? Thinging. 221 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: First of he could have all the personality in the world, 222 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: but he stayed on his phone while she laughed hard 223 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: at everything. He said, that's why, And I was like, 224 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: just terrible, terrible, Well, I don't know. I mean, the 225 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: dating situation is crazy. I'm you know, I've heard I 226 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: have a lot of single girlfriends, and then of course 227 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: you know, now I have adult kids, so I hear 228 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of things about the dating 229 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 1: kind of scene. That's while one of the things is 230 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: that certain kind of expectations around finances I think are 231 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 1: actually good and toxic at the same time. Like we're 232 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: people were talking about sex because I really think that 233 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: that was more of a concern, kind of a generational concern. 234 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: I think also because number one, younger folks are asserting 235 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: themselves sexually in a different kind of way. They don't 236 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 1: feel like obligated to express themselves in a box. So 237 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: by the time they get into dating or maybe even 238 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 1: coupling off permanently, some of that stuff has already been 239 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 1: worked out, you know what I'm saying, or you know, 240 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: or maybe they have other options, you know, and polyamorous people. 241 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: We talked about that on the show before, all kinds 242 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: of different stuff. But I feel like one of the 243 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 1: new things that's popped up is the whole finances thing. Like, 244 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: you know, we're dietching some of these patriarchal things, but 245 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: at the same time too, we're adapting a more capitalistic view. 246 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 1: Everybody wants to be being j and everybody wants to 247 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: get the bag, and if that because they don't know 248 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: the song no romance without finance. Yeah, but I'm not 249 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: talking about that. That's talking about a man kind of 250 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 1: helping a woman and being like the head of the household. 251 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: This is how we were raised. Right now we're talking 252 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: about Yeah, that's cute, I got money, but do honey, Uh, 253 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 1: it's your finance. What do you bring in to the table? 254 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: And how can we build an empire? It's all about 255 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: empire's child. If I hear about anything more about a 256 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: dag on empire and this my king and my queen, 257 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: and I still don't think that started with them. I'm like, 258 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: it's spelling and morehouse blooming like that four minutes, but 259 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: I hear it. I'm here for things before now. But 260 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: the data scene changes is ever changing. And and what 261 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: I've what I've been seeing out there is that people's 262 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 1: values around everything from finances to sex to whatever, to 263 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: friendship to how do things what does love look even 264 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: look like anymore? What? How do you even express that 265 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: in a relationship? I think it's just really it's really different. 266 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: But also to there's so many um what do you 267 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 1: call them? Tools and things out there to help people 268 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: to get through it. Like I feel like we didn't 269 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: really have anything. People say, Oh, go to premarital counseling 270 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: like that was what people said. You know, I don't. Now, 271 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: you've got a million different things that can help you 272 00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: to navigate all these different you know, aspects of relationship. Now. Now, 273 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: my advice has been to ride it out, to just 274 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: explore as much as possible, and to have fun with 275 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 1: the exploration. That is. That has been my advice. You know, 276 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 1: continuously searched to date pantric sex is. Yes, yes, she 277 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 1: trying my advice. All the things there your girlfriend as 278 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,640 Speaker 1: a matter of fact, so she did try to tan 279 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: trick and she's trying all the things. You know, she's 280 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 1: with it because he's awesome. It's going very well. They're 281 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 1: still riding, she's still glowing. It's a good thing. Also. Yes, 282 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 1: now here's the and I'm very happy to report that. 283 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: My question to you ladies is is that settling? Is 284 00:17:55,600 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 1: that settling? Is it? No? I don't think that's settling. 285 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 1: And I said it quickly because I feel like you're 286 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: not settling unless it's something that doesn't have any hope 287 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 1: of changing. You know what I'm saying, Like, if it's 288 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 1: something that you can work on, then I feel like, well, yeah, 289 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: that's not that's not a settle. That's more like a 290 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:23,480 Speaker 1: um being flexible to me. I mean, you know, so 291 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 1: like I hear what I asked, was is that settling? 292 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:34,320 Speaker 1: Because because she's work, that's what I'm saying that right, 293 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 1: I mean, it was so already so close. I'm like now, 294 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: I mean when you said that it wasn't the tool, 295 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 1: That's how I was like, yeah, she good, Like they're 296 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: gonna have fun figuring this out. And once you figure 297 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 1: that out, and once you on that journey too, and 298 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,639 Speaker 1: it gives you a whole another level to your relationship 299 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: because y'all have to work that ship out and that 300 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: that's when that sex is going to be phenomenal mentally too, 301 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:59,119 Speaker 1: because y'all put the work in the sense of accomplishment 302 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 1: that you got through it together. Because even though it's 303 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 1: not a sex thing. I always this, you know, I'm 304 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 1: always weird about giving merried advice, But the one merried 305 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: advice I will give is this, you get you get 306 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: us a major hump. Every relationship, every marriage has one 307 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:19,200 Speaker 1: major hump. If you get over that hump, can't nobody 308 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: really funk with y'all after that? Like y'all strong. That 309 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: is a really strong place to be in once you're 310 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,359 Speaker 1: able to get over like a major hump, and not 311 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 1: that you may not get another one, but I'm saying 312 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: there's always just that one that kind of defines like 313 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: this is like we were in it, you know what 314 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 1: I'm saying. And I really believe that. I feel like 315 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: a lot of times people don't last because they really 316 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 1: are not able to get over that that first or 317 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 1: that only kind of real major hump. But people who 318 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 1: really get past that, they're they're in a different level 319 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 1: of the game. And that's why you find out. Yeah, 320 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 1: that's why you find out some people who are at 321 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 1: that level of the game, they don't really want to 322 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: hear anything from people unless they really know that. Those 323 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: are those married people you cannot talk to unless you 324 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: talk to other married people who've been through the same thing. 325 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: That's that club is exclusive. I'm sorry, I hate to 326 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,120 Speaker 1: say it. I know that sounds whack, but it's true. 327 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:18,639 Speaker 1: It should be the work. Yeah, it's serious, but but 328 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,840 Speaker 1: to take it back to the actual point at hand, 329 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: if they're able to get through that with all that 330 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: they already have, and it seems like she has other 331 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: relationships and mistakes that she can reflect on that she's 332 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:42,159 Speaker 1: learned from. Girl. She all right, yeah, and he's willing, girl, right, 333 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: did you hear that? Ladies? Willing? Willing, willing? That that 334 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,159 Speaker 1: counts so much if you have a partner that you're not, 335 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: you know, experiencing the best sex with, if they're not 336 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 1: willing to hear you, if they're going to internalize it 337 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:06,200 Speaker 1: and and uh, you know, become depressed about it or anything, 338 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 1: or not want to be with you anymore. I can't 339 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: satisfy you, so I might as well, you know, you 340 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 1: could we be in our feelings. I was at my 341 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 1: feelings when you said, I thought I was doing my 342 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 1: thing what you mean. And honestly, like when I'm on 343 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,479 Speaker 1: when I'm on the people social media and the men 344 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 1: are going off, you know a lot the ones, the 345 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 1: ones that seem to be the most bitter, are the 346 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 1: ones that seemed to be able to have experiences with 347 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: women where they can't tell them like yo, that wasn't 348 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: so you know, and then that and it leads them 349 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: down to kind of a toxic path. So I'm just saying, 350 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,920 Speaker 1: sometimes you come in contact with a guy who got 351 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,120 Speaker 1: everything to say out of his mouth a lot of times. 352 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 1: It's because he wasn't able, not a lot of now 353 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: all the time sometimes because he wasn't able to express 354 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 1: that to a woman who was being able to receive 355 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: it and taking that moment Asia to be that woman 356 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: to be like, hold up, okay, dad about me? Oh 357 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 1: this is okay, Well that that it about me moment. 358 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, that's that's a whole like maturation evolved. Yeah. 359 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 1: I really feel like that's true because, especially if you're 360 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: a woman who's sexually self aware, you worked hard to 361 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 1: get to that place, okay, because there wasn't nobody trying 362 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 1: to tell you nothing but keep your legs closed. So 363 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 1: you know, by the time you figure it out what 364 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: you see these medals in my you're like, sir, what 365 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 1: are you saying? Well, shoutouts to Joyce Alice that's my mother, 366 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 1: and Annie Lauren that's my auntie, and I Shirley, because 367 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 1: they clued me in on a lot of things that 368 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: I was supposed to get in this sexual existence. So 369 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,680 Speaker 1: I really appreciate that's a blessing if you have elder 370 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 1: women talking to you about sex. Because listen, Black, because 371 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 1: Blue wasn't having those conversations with her daughter. God was 372 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 1: not talking about sex and sexuality with her daughters, so 373 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: her daughter made sure to tell her daughter. And I 374 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 1: happen to be that daughter. So I mean the conversation 375 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 1: with my mother about sex, But I'm just talking about 376 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,359 Speaker 1: like some of the finer points, Like my mom was 377 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 1: real easy to talk to about the beginnings, when we 378 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 1: started talking about pleasure, you start talking about that kind 379 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: of stuff. Those are just not conversations that I had 380 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 1: with my mother till I was already married, you know. 381 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: And my my nana said certain things to me that 382 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: I'm grateful to this day that she felt open enough 383 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: to say to me. But y'all, I'm just talking about 384 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,159 Speaker 1: some of the most intense and informative conversations I've had 385 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 1: about sex, where things I was exchanging with my girlfriends 386 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 1: about their experiences versus mine, or what is this cool 387 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: to do? Or is that cool to do? Or how 388 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: did you do this? Or did you ever do so 389 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,479 Speaker 1: and so or blah blah blah blah. Those are all 390 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,480 Speaker 1: things that happened with my girlfriends. And I feel like 391 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: it was just a late conversation, you know what I mean. 392 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 1: And I'm and and that's me being a woman who 393 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: I feel like we're more likely to talk about that stuff, 394 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 1: whereas men ain't gonna talk about that, and definitely when 395 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: it comes to actually women, and I really feel bad 396 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 1: for folks who are l G B t Q and 397 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: don't have friends or family members who are also, so 398 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,639 Speaker 1: when they start talking about sex, they ain't talking to 399 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 1: nobody in their families unless they're just lucky like that, 400 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,920 Speaker 1: and they need to because depending on what we're talking about, 401 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: sex is different. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Different, 402 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 1: it's different. It's different. You got you have to have 403 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: a mentor somewhere. You got to have somebody to talk 404 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 1: to you about the things and that, and I mean 405 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: most things. If you're learning how to cook, you need 406 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 1: an auntie or a cousin or uncle or grandpa, somebody 407 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: to say, hey, baby, don't put the flower in there. Yeah, 408 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 1: you need somebody to tell you how to do the things. 409 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be 410 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: right back. When should somebody get that conversation, the pleasure 411 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 1: of conversation, I think as soon as they hit puberty, 412 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,879 Speaker 1: because it's a puberty, not eighteen that's left puberty because 413 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 1: it's coming, because do you really think it's interesting? I'm like, so, 414 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: how how young should we started enjoying sex? Right? Like? So, 415 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 1: I mean not for nothing. I found my orgasm by 416 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: myself before I even started having sex. That's just a 417 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,359 Speaker 1: whole masturbation thing that I learned. But my question is, like, 418 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: shouldn't there be like an evolution to it. I'm not 419 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,840 Speaker 1: saying that it shouldn't be enjoyable, but like, you gotta 420 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 1: find your orgasm the second time that you had sex 421 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 1: used as a team, Like that's what we're doing, Like 422 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,160 Speaker 1: you just deserve the funds the orgasm the second time 423 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,480 Speaker 1: we have sex as a teenager. I don't know the answer. 424 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: That's why I was asking y'all holes, because I know joking, no, 425 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 1: But my thing is this. I know it shouldn't be 426 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,639 Speaker 1: thirty because I knew some chicks at thirty that had 427 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,919 Speaker 1: the video. I saw a video of an auntie showing 428 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,399 Speaker 1: her nieces who looked to be anywhere between sixteen and 429 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 1: eighteen or nineteen, how to ride, and it was on Instagram, 430 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 1: like she was they looked between sixteen and eighteen, maybe 431 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,400 Speaker 1: maybe nineteen, just showing me how to ride it's still 432 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 1: not your No, no, that's wrong, no, because you're still 433 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,199 Speaker 1: not learning how to enjoy yourself. You just learning how 434 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 1: to ride. Because some some sex, particularly today's, is very performative. 435 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,479 Speaker 1: It's for the show. It's not for the feeling, right, Okay, 436 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 1: So just so you know that kid, kids even and 437 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:25,640 Speaker 1: a lot of tricks that actually don't provide pleasure at all, 438 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:33,639 Speaker 1: just for the show. Was before you go to college, 439 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 1: I say, as soon as you had see those pimples 440 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 1: coming and about enjoying sex, Jill or just having sex 441 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,440 Speaker 1: could be about masturbation, though it could be about masturbation, 442 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: because conversation with my kids about masturbation fairly early. I 443 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: think it's all the things that comes with with sex 444 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: and sexuality like a normal it's a normal conversation, you know. 445 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,440 Speaker 1: I feel like it's hard. The more you know, the 446 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: better prepared you all. Yeah you know, um, And the 447 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 1: more you understand what you want and don't want, the 448 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,200 Speaker 1: better off you are, don't you think? Also too, it's 449 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 1: a mental kind of conversation about how to because I 450 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,920 Speaker 1: think sometimes it's not even just about the physicality. Sometimes 451 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: I think it's like people are One of the things 452 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: I noticed in one of the docks I was watching, 453 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 1: is that one of the couples, the one of the 454 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: people that were involved in relationship was like that they 455 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,360 Speaker 1: were like a heavy people pleaser, so they couldn't even 456 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 1: really ask for what they wanted to because they just 457 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: were so used to like being a tool for the 458 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 1: other person's like pleasure and happiness. And so I think 459 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,119 Speaker 1: sometimes it's also about mentally, like how you're talking to 460 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,399 Speaker 1: your young people or even your friends about how they 461 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 1: just view their interactions with people they love period, because 462 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 1: they're taking all that into the bed room with them. 463 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:54,719 Speaker 1: I need to somebody is at the door, you hear me. Well, 464 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 1: we're talking about having intimacy for the sake of the 465 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,719 Speaker 1: other person's pleasure or be because you want to keep 466 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: the other person around, or because you want the other 467 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,480 Speaker 1: person to think that you're, you know, some kind of 468 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: sexual goddess or god or whatever the case makes. But 469 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,040 Speaker 1: you're not enjoying yourself, You're not being pleased at all. 470 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: That's toxic, friends, It's only toxic. That's not even good sex. 471 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 1: You're you're you're you're providing a service. But there is 472 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:30,159 Speaker 1: somebody now where you can be that and still you know, 473 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 1: know how what it takes because it means something different 474 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,920 Speaker 1: for everybody. So maybe somebody gets off on pleasure and 475 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: another person for someone else. I need mine, and then 476 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get mine. Period. There's that next level. Because 477 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 1: I was thinking about agents saying you start with masturbation, Yes, too, 478 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 1: but it's the end of this lesson to kind of 479 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 1: like I don't know about job, but there's this moment 480 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: of orgasm that if you're with somebody too that you're 481 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 1: like really into and you love them on some levels 482 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 1: that you can't even explain, that orgasm just can turn 483 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:14,120 Speaker 1: into what is going on? And I'm crying why And 484 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 1: now I'm like that of your house. Well no, I 485 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: mean that too. But just those those crying orgasms, like 486 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 1: those to me, those are like the super Bowl orgasms, 487 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: Like people don't even tell you about those. That's it. Yeah, 488 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 1: those are like me, it's not even it's not even 489 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: just it's not the act of the crying orgasm for me, 490 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 1: it's the crazy that follows. I have just and I 491 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: just don't want anyone busting the windows out of nobody's 492 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 1: car out of what nobody acted crazy trying to But 493 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,000 Speaker 1: that's not the crying orgasm then because both people wasn't 494 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,240 Speaker 1: in it. You wasn't feeling like that person was into 495 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,600 Speaker 1: you as you are. You know, I'm okay you you didn't, 496 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:04,920 Speaker 1: but see you didn't say you're talking about love making? Yeah, different, 497 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 1: that's what I'm I was also talking We were talking 498 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 1: about being turned out. Yes, I'm talking about that next 499 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 1: level orgasm that physically makes you cry because not only 500 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: does it feel so good in your COUCHI and it's 501 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 1: just like a combination of the great sex and the 502 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 1: love and there come to tears. Thank you Lord. That's 503 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 1: the stuff that I'm like, when you teach a kid, 504 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 1: that's what I'm talking about. Like, it's so many levels. 505 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: You can't teach somebody to feel what they feel. They're 506 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to wait where you can tell them 507 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 1: that it exists. Oh yeah, Joyce. Alice was like, listen, 508 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 1: there is screwing, which is great when you got somebody 509 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: that know how to screw good and you can screw 510 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 1: back and y'all just screwing and that thing feel wonderful. 511 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: That's fantastic. But there is something called making love and 512 00:30:51,920 --> 00:31:01,120 Speaker 1: that's completely different. It's spiritual, it's it's connected, it's powerful, 513 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 1: it's beyond space and time, you know, And it's not 514 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,160 Speaker 1: a myth. And it's not a mything. No, you know 515 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 1: that those lines when when Beyonce she said something by 516 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 1: waking up on the floor, how did we get here? 517 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 1: Something like that, like that kind of you know, it's 518 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: just it's not a myth at all. So I just 519 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: want to keep saying that over and over again. Making 520 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 1: love is not amazing, it's not. But also for those 521 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,560 Speaker 1: people out there, the exact same thing. And I'm not 522 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: even romanticizing, I'm just telling you, but I think that honestly, 523 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 1: they're gonna be some people out there who like your friends, 524 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: who may be in love with someone and maybe they've 525 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 1: not reached that space yet and that and maybe it's 526 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 1: something different for them too, so maybe, you know, I 527 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: just I don't know. I just feel like sometimes when 528 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 1: we describe our personal experiences, I think it's just always 529 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 1: good to remember that that's just this is not the 530 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,880 Speaker 1: same for everybody everywhere. And I don't want to say 531 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,959 Speaker 1: out or precedent. I mean, I'm just saying they can 532 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 1: get there, but they may not get there that same way. 533 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying like we're talking about a 534 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,959 Speaker 1: moment that we can all kind of relate to when 535 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 1: we talked about this in another show that when we 536 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 1: think about our our where different women, we all have 537 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: different perspectives, we have a lot of the similar kind 538 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 1: of tastes and similar things that we like and ways 539 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 1: that we operate in the world. So when we talk, 540 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 1: we are still talking from a very familiar place, and 541 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,080 Speaker 1: I think there are people have to work a little 542 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 1: harder to maintain and to get to that place within 543 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 1: their relationship if that's the relationship they want to stay. 544 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: Ain't easy. I'm not even saying that I want to 545 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: reiterate again to that it ain't easy. It wasn't again. 546 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: It wasn't something that I found in the twin US, 547 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: you know, and mid thirties. I mean, that's that's my 548 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 1: point of That was my point about sex too, and 549 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 1: the evolution of it and the evolution of knowing your 550 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 1: body as well. Like and it's not just it's also 551 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,560 Speaker 1: not just a hetero thing. I think that's like universal 552 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 1: in a way, that feeling that the time is time thing. 553 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: It's also a time thing. If a tea not kind 554 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 1: of benefited from having a lot of time together and 555 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: time to travel together and be alone. And you know, 556 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 1: yet we worked together and everything, but that time alone 557 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,200 Speaker 1: is really like essential when I look back on it, 558 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:31,720 Speaker 1: I don't know if we would have been able to 559 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 1: maintain a healthy sex life, particularly with all those children, 560 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 1: and we weren't traveling, and we wouldn't didn't have specific 561 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 1: types of alone time. And the factor we're singing songs 562 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 1: and making records that that part two having a creative outlet, 563 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,320 Speaker 1: and you're talking about something and that's hot, then maybe 564 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: you go do that. It's like there's a lot of 565 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: elements to to that being sustainable for a long time, 566 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 1: whereas that may not be the case for somebody else. 567 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,480 Speaker 1: And particularly talking about people married twenty years, thirty years, 568 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,280 Speaker 1: like yeah, like you're gonna have some loans in that, 569 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,919 Speaker 1: particularly if you don't have anything in there to keep 570 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 1: that fresh or to keep that moving forward, you know. 571 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 1: And so I don't know, I'm just you know, I'm 572 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: always just trying to think of everybody, because lord, are 573 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 1: you right. I got a big fear about that. I 574 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,640 Speaker 1: gotta fear keeping it fresh after having sex with somebody 575 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,719 Speaker 1: for twenty years, I really do I have because I 576 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: want to still enjoy sex. I want to enjoy sex 577 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: until I'm probably not working walking this earth in my 578 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:31,760 Speaker 1: mind because my mom gonna like the word fresh. Sometimes 579 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,000 Speaker 1: I don't like the word keeping it fresh, So you 580 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: don't keeping good keeping good keeping it good keeping it 581 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: because sometimes I don't like the word fresh because it 582 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,359 Speaker 1: gives us feeling like you're supposed to reinvent the sex 583 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:46,839 Speaker 1: or something, or like I think keeping keeping it alive, yes, 584 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 1: like alive is better, you know, like a living thing 585 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:59,880 Speaker 1: recalculates and recalculates and continues because it has to reset 586 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,879 Speaker 1: on its own sometimes too. Anyway, because you're different, your 587 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:08,160 Speaker 1: body is different, I'm learning. I'm learning from you. You're 588 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 1: the only person don't here may have a sex qu 589 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you. No, I'm gonna give you an 590 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 1: example for an example, you know, not to tell all 591 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 1: my business. Lord, have mercy my husband. Okay, So there's 592 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,760 Speaker 1: when I got married, I was like a size twelve 593 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:27,120 Speaker 1: or something like that, maybe ten and twelve. Perhaps I'm 594 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,279 Speaker 1: like roughly about a size sixteen now and I had 595 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:35,920 Speaker 1: a cesarean. So my body like physically will never look 596 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:41,160 Speaker 1: the same in certain places. Well, I don't know, as 597 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:46,880 Speaker 1: time has gotten knowing he's deeply like affectionate towards parts 598 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:52,600 Speaker 1: of my body that didn't exist before. And so to me, 599 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 1: it's like that has turned into a real part of 600 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,879 Speaker 1: for play, like that part of it, like without I'm 601 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,640 Speaker 1: trying real hard, and if you're listening, I'm trying hard 602 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: not to be like totally t am I with these people. 603 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:09,280 Speaker 1: But the point is like that part of embracing the body, 604 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,280 Speaker 1: and it's not just about oh, your body is different 605 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,279 Speaker 1: than I still love you, I hate that, I still 606 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,359 Speaker 1: love you. Get out of here. It's it's a it's 607 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,880 Speaker 1: an embracing of the body that has been that's a 608 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 1: part of the love making that didn't exist before. So 609 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:29,040 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like the reinvention is not always this 610 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 1: this retooling of things. Sometimes it's just a natural way 611 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,800 Speaker 1: that your life changes over time, and the love and 612 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:42,040 Speaker 1: affection just kind of changes with that, and then sometimes 613 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 1: you just oh, well this feels good and blah blah 614 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: blah blah blah. It's the open, the fluidity of it all. 615 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,840 Speaker 1: I don't think we've ever had a conversation where we 616 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 1: sat down and was just like, so, what new things 617 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 1: are we going to do sexually, like and I'm not 618 00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,520 Speaker 1: saying that that wasn't something that wouldn't be cool, but 619 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 1: you know, I gotta vouch for the sex. The sex 620 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 1: has been good and consistent, and it's like, okay, we 621 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: didn't have to go, you know, find a book of 622 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,440 Speaker 1: positions and say, you know, pick one. You know what 623 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,439 Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, I don't know he knows my body. Yeah, 624 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,239 Speaker 1: and it's past it's past your body. I mean, it's 625 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,799 Speaker 1: your body, absolutely, but it's beyond that, you know, it's 626 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 1: not just it's the all. We'll be back after the break. 627 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:44,600 Speaker 1: My love language is fixing ship around the house like 628 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 1: that's that's that's that you're talking to good talk to me. 629 00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 1: And I didn't have to ask you to do nothing. 630 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,920 Speaker 1: And you went and you you organized or you you 631 00:37:54,200 --> 00:38:00,200 Speaker 1: went to the home depot talking talking, you talk, get 632 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 1: my talking. You're talking my talking. You mean you're going 633 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: to be a benefit wherever you can benefit my life. 634 00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,359 Speaker 1: Keep on adding. You're just gonna add to my life. 635 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,359 Speaker 1: That's what you're just going to add and add and add. 636 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 1: That is something to do that. Thank you kindly. I 637 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,800 Speaker 1: love that. That is that's how you talk to me. 638 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,759 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't need a bunch of jewelry. I 639 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,279 Speaker 1: don't need a new bag. I don't need that. I mean, 640 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,239 Speaker 1: that's nice at all, but that's not what I need. 641 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,759 Speaker 1: What I need is for you to care about the 642 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,360 Speaker 1: home that we're in. I need you to to to 643 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:35,600 Speaker 1: participate in the life that we're creating, you know, outside 644 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: of business or and outside of you know, um my 645 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,880 Speaker 1: station or whatever. I need you to participate. That thing 646 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,239 Speaker 1: is sex. Caring for you is a term of that, 647 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,560 Speaker 1: and that can change a situation where and I've actually 648 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 1: seen this in marriage, is where the sex is actually 649 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,160 Speaker 1: really good, but they turned off from each other because 650 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,600 Speaker 1: of the way Mugs is making you feel. Like So 651 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,799 Speaker 1: it's like again, being care for is a is an 652 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,279 Speaker 1: ultimate turn on. Being cared for is the ultimate turn on. 653 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,040 Speaker 1: But I think again, like when you're talking about relationships 654 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 1: that have existed for a long time, sometimes the freshness 655 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: is just about basics. It's things like, I don't know, 656 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:23,480 Speaker 1: like looking at each other, like just looking at somebody 657 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,560 Speaker 1: for a minute before you kissed them, before you take 658 00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:31,080 Speaker 1: your clothes off. Some kinds of intimacy are just extremely simple, 659 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,040 Speaker 1: and they just are things we forget to do or 660 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,600 Speaker 1: don't do? That to me, is is staying in touch 661 00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:40,280 Speaker 1: with some of the things that just keep you connected 662 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:45,640 Speaker 1: and feeling cared for and seen is the sexiest stuff ever. Like, 663 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,279 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, He did that the other day. 664 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 1: When you stare and you you tell me why and yeah, 665 00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:06,359 Speaker 1: I'm still learned at you because you're beautiful. Huh Okay, Yeah, 666 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 1: I thought you were staring at me because something was 667 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,120 Speaker 1: out of particularly like him that I'm beautiful when you're 668 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:16,640 Speaker 1: not looking in my face, you little freak. See the 669 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,880 Speaker 1: freak just it's random and it happened. It'll hit you. 670 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:25,400 Speaker 1: You all are missing the dance. There's a dance involved 671 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:29,440 Speaker 1: with this one. You like He told you beautiful from 672 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:33,759 Speaker 1: the back of it, said that I did. I like it. 673 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:41,960 Speaker 1: I like it someone we're not shy. Listen. What I 674 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,400 Speaker 1: was getting to any way, um when I when I 675 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,279 Speaker 1: mentioned my friend in this situation, is that, you know, 676 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,640 Speaker 1: it's a lot of people I'm watching TV shows. They've 677 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:56,960 Speaker 1: got like ninety day fiance, you know, bachelor, wette, Bachelor. 678 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,040 Speaker 1: It seems to me like a lot of people are 679 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:03,279 Speaker 1: looking for you know, quote unquote marriage. They're looking for 680 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:07,439 Speaker 1: a partnership, a relationship partner where they can I hate 681 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,799 Speaker 1: to build their empire, you know, but but build from 682 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,520 Speaker 1: you know there, that's what they're looking for. And you know, 683 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:21,560 Speaker 1: having listening to this situation, UM, and I really feel like, 684 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 1: please don't, please don't blow this, Please don't. Yeah, You've 685 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:35,960 Speaker 1: got a wonderful human being that truly enjoys and your 686 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 1: affection and and um is helpful. Like the coolest ship. 687 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:46,880 Speaker 1: It's like a second, don't get out a way, don't 688 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:53,640 Speaker 1: blow this because the next she don't know what she got. Maybe, 689 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,440 Speaker 1: just maybe not. He could be one of those brothers 690 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,920 Speaker 1: that's just out here in the world, just with all 691 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,279 Speaker 1: that to give and nobody to you know, have pain 692 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,080 Speaker 1: here work like that. Just I'm not saying I'm not 693 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,120 Speaker 1: I'm not talking about like, oh, we gotta do for you, 694 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,480 Speaker 1: say you the black man, I'm not saying that. I'm 695 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,759 Speaker 1: just saying that. I wasn't even being specific about a 696 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:19,120 Speaker 1: black man either. So just because it's just that, yeah, yeah, 697 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:22,399 Speaker 1: this is across the board for everybody that if you're 698 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,520 Speaker 1: if you hate ah Man twenty ship, I mean, but 699 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:31,319 Speaker 1: are now that's not no, we're not doing that. That's 700 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:39,080 Speaker 1: not a good. You know, I think I think it is. 701 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: I think it's really somebody can absolutely give up. Um, 702 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,000 Speaker 1: I think that's probably the best thing that I've heard 703 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,960 Speaker 1: out of you know, the particular you know film. I 704 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:53,600 Speaker 1: love that line, you know where yeah, you've really giving 705 00:42:53,719 --> 00:43:00,399 Speaker 1: up or something awesome for something that cannot sustain you can't, 706 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,560 Speaker 1: you know. And I'm I'm like, if you're looking for partnership, 707 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:09,000 Speaker 1: then you have to be willing in my opinion, you know, 708 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,360 Speaker 1: as a two time before say what do I know? 709 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,759 Speaker 1: I'm just looking at the stats of the whole thing, 710 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,719 Speaker 1: and I'm like, you have to be willing to work 711 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:22,000 Speaker 1: with someone. Huh. You have to be able to work 712 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,880 Speaker 1: with someone if they've got all of these awesome qualities 713 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,240 Speaker 1: that you really enjoy, you know, whether it's a biting 714 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 1: sense of humor or you know, the capacity to organize 715 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,400 Speaker 1: a closet or whatever they can do. I don't know 716 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,560 Speaker 1: what they can do. But it's the thing that is 717 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:42,319 Speaker 1: your love language and it works for you. It lights 718 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:46,479 Speaker 1: up your life, It makes you feel validated. Scene seen. 719 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:51,440 Speaker 1: How about seeing And there's a thing that's not you know, 720 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 1: exactly joking and that personal people who think a lot 721 00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,360 Speaker 1: of people don't funk this up, homie, don't do I 722 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:05,440 Speaker 1: think more people are more likely to stay than they 723 00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 1: are to leave. I think you definitely have folks that 724 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,960 Speaker 1: are like, yeah, I can't if it's not this, this, 725 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:13,640 Speaker 1: and this, I don't want it. But I actually think 726 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 1: many people That's why I feel like, at the end 727 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,760 Speaker 1: of the day, it's really more so about knowing yourself, 728 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,320 Speaker 1: being really honest with yourself, because yeah, you're gonna have 729 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,880 Speaker 1: to work with whomever, because somebody's working with you. Everybody's 730 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,480 Speaker 1: just about to say, what makes you think I was 731 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,200 Speaker 1: just I was, what make you think you're not getting 732 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:37,279 Speaker 1: getting worked with? Somebody's got to be exactly Probably all 733 00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:41,960 Speaker 1: of the pain that she went through before she probably reship. 734 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,320 Speaker 1: But what I'm saying, So what I'm saying, you know, 735 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,319 Speaker 1: the thing is to know yourself because like, if you're 736 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 1: clear on what your boundaries are, then it's not necessarily 737 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,040 Speaker 1: a that you need to work with that person. Is 738 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,640 Speaker 1: that are you capable of working on that thing that 739 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,360 Speaker 1: they need you to work on, or is that something 740 00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,560 Speaker 1: that's a deal breaker for you. You got to be 741 00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,920 Speaker 1: clear on what your deal breakers are. If you're not, 742 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,200 Speaker 1: then you'll find yourself settling in a situation that is settling. 743 00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 1: You'll be settling in a situation that you really can't 744 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:23,440 Speaker 1: deal with. All in the name of Oh, everyone's not perfect, 745 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,840 Speaker 1: Like you know, nobody's perfect. But is that thing that 746 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,200 Speaker 1: they have going on? Is that mention with what you 747 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:33,120 Speaker 1: want for yourself and your life? Somebody roll that back. 748 00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,520 Speaker 1: I need, I need claps and I need some kind 749 00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:41,480 Speaker 1: of cheers because that there, it is there, It is there, 750 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:45,520 Speaker 1: It is My girlfriend, Kim Mitchell said, I have the 751 00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:51,719 Speaker 1: right to choose the issues I can deal because everybody's 752 00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:58,000 Speaker 1: got issues, don't don't We all have don't we all 753 00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:02,400 Speaker 1: have issues. Whether it's that day that your dad didn't 754 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,680 Speaker 1: come pick you a girl, you know, for the school 755 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,840 Speaker 1: and he promised, you know what, It's that time that 756 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:12,600 Speaker 1: you know, um, your your girl down the street was 757 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,360 Speaker 1: holding hands with you who you thought was your boyfriend. 758 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,520 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like whatever, remind me quick, 759 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,640 Speaker 1: he only got like two, but he'll bring them same 760 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:27,200 Speaker 1: to up every time. Don't get it twisted. This you 761 00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:32,960 Speaker 1: got trauma to go right, I'll be like, but that's 762 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:36,480 Speaker 1: the same one from before. I don't care. That's it. 763 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,040 Speaker 1: It's it's real. Somebody tolerating you. In the world, someone 764 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,919 Speaker 1: is tolerating your cry and dealing with your jump you here, 765 00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,840 Speaker 1: so important is important that part right there, that somebody 766 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:55,279 Speaker 1: is tolerating you. But for some of us who are 767 00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:57,920 Speaker 1: in our heads about the toleration that our partners are 768 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,600 Speaker 1: going through, we should also acknowledge that like they tolerate 769 00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,680 Speaker 1: in you because because you dope and they love you too, 770 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,360 Speaker 1: it ain't you ain't just in there to be to 771 00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:06,759 Speaker 1: and you ain't nothing to be tolerated. Because I have 772 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,960 Speaker 1: to remind myself of that. Yeah, you ain't nothing to 773 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:14,840 Speaker 1: just be tolerated. Amen, you're pretty, you knowalthy sense of 774 00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,560 Speaker 1: start right, you got a good job, You've got some money, 775 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:24,279 Speaker 1: but it could be some things. You got some ship 776 00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:28,840 Speaker 1: with you too. We got some ship with us, feel me, 777 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,200 Speaker 1: I know. And that's the thing is that the relationship, 778 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,680 Speaker 1: that's why I was centering the relationship instead of center 779 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,799 Speaker 1: in the self is where most people just go wrong 780 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:42,080 Speaker 1: because and I mean this for men and women, because 781 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:44,719 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you have to have 782 00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,840 Speaker 1: a real good sense of your own like awareness of yourself, 783 00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:51,560 Speaker 1: and awareness doesn't mean only positive awareness is also clear 784 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 1: on the things you need to work on and the 785 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:57,799 Speaker 1: things that are difficult for other people to interact with sometimes. 786 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,759 Speaker 1: So those that's just you know, I even give it 787 00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,560 Speaker 1: to myself, like that whole not being able to say no, 788 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,359 Speaker 1: not being able to create boundaries, like all those kinds 789 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:09,480 Speaker 1: of things. You think you're only hurting yourself by making 790 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:11,480 Speaker 1: a decision like that. Oh no, no no no no 791 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,120 Speaker 1: no no no no no no. Those are things that 792 00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,520 Speaker 1: trip that that trickle out to your mate, to your family. 793 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,000 Speaker 1: So even something as simple as an issue that you 794 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:25,960 Speaker 1: think you have that only affects you, No, it doesn't. 795 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,799 Speaker 1: It affects everybody around you, and particularly a person who 796 00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:34,920 Speaker 1: you love who's watching you do it. Yeah, you know, 797 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:39,920 Speaker 1: word of up. It's a thing growing up some bullshit. 798 00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,960 Speaker 1: I think we spend a lot of time looking at 799 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,399 Speaker 1: the list, you know, all the qualities that we want, 800 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,319 Speaker 1: all the things I'm going with, things that we want 801 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:57,320 Speaker 1: somebody to possess. And I think it's really time, this 802 00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:01,120 Speaker 1: is all. I think it's really time to start looking 803 00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,800 Speaker 1: at instead of the things that you want someone to possess, 804 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,480 Speaker 1: to really look at the kind of character traits you 805 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:11,360 Speaker 1: want them to have. Because I'm listening to my my 806 00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,640 Speaker 1: nieces and they're like, oh, you know, I want him 807 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,160 Speaker 1: to have this kind of money, this kind of card, 808 00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,360 Speaker 1: this kind of dick, this kind of you know, lifestyle, 809 00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:25,200 Speaker 1: this kind of you know, all the things. And I 810 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,319 Speaker 1: really truly believe that it's it's more about the kind 811 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,840 Speaker 1: of character of the character of the person that you 812 00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:34,440 Speaker 1: want to be with. You know, is this somebody that's loyal. 813 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,960 Speaker 1: Hopefully you grow into that because you're that's a big 814 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:48,000 Speaker 1: one learner and a person who was no, no, no, 815 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:53,000 Speaker 1: I mean my nieces my worldwide. Yes. Then when I 816 00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:56,640 Speaker 1: say I don't even have personally any nieces, you have 817 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,040 Speaker 1: to say, you have to say, you have to put 818 00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:04,359 Speaker 1: you have to put a says nieces for all the needs. Yeah, 819 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:08,439 Speaker 1: and we'll also allow you a little grace as yeah, 820 00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:12,160 Speaker 1: because when maybe that's what you think, is how anyway, 821 00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,960 Speaker 1: because that's all you know, But okay, we're gonna give 822 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,120 Speaker 1: you that. But that's gonna have to change the same thing. 823 00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:20,920 Speaker 1: Someone it's willing to learn, right, because maybe you might 824 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:24,719 Speaker 1: have found Mr. Or Mrs Perfect at twenty five years old, 825 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,320 Speaker 1: but is that the same person I mean that you 826 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,759 Speaker 1: want to be with, you know, when you're forty five 827 00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,920 Speaker 1: years old, If they haven't grown, if they haven't changed, 828 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,600 Speaker 1: if they haven't you know, shape shift in a way. 829 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,120 Speaker 1: You know that that stuff is important. You know, when 830 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,040 Speaker 1: you're writing this list of what you want out of 831 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,200 Speaker 1: your life or what you want out of your relationships, 832 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,400 Speaker 1: do that, do that too, you know, make sure you 833 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,960 Speaker 1: add those character traits you know that that you really 834 00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:54,480 Speaker 1: want um and make a list for yourself too. Well. Yeah, 835 00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:59,319 Speaker 1: because it's called what is it called manifesting, like manifestations. 836 00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:06,200 Speaker 1: That's a new girl word. How y'all know? I told 837 00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:08,120 Speaker 1: you all before I wrote and put it on my 838 00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:10,840 Speaker 1: pillow like this last the break up, before this relationship 839 00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:12,719 Speaker 1: right here, I was like, I'm gonna learn and I'm 840 00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:14,600 Speaker 1: gonna really figure out, and I'm gonna say some things 841 00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:16,960 Speaker 1: out loud, like you got to you really got to 842 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,000 Speaker 1: do that ship, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do 843 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:25,840 Speaker 1: that later on a day. I can't say clearly that 844 00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:32,239 Speaker 1: everything that I asked for. I took a long time 845 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:36,680 Speaker 1: trying not to cry. I took a long time writing this, 846 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:41,640 Speaker 1: Uh this, I guess a list of what I wanted 847 00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:46,319 Speaker 1: and what I hoped for myself with all the love 848 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,920 Speaker 1: that I could possibly have for myself what I wanted, 849 00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:59,399 Speaker 1: and not only did my partner show up, but far 850 00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:04,759 Speaker 1: seeds any expectation that I could have. Like I think 851 00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,960 Speaker 1: I mentioned to you before that my dream growing up 852 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:12,080 Speaker 1: in North Philly that to have a brown stone, you know, 853 00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:15,520 Speaker 1: on Spring Guarden. That's all I wanted. That's the biggest 854 00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,400 Speaker 1: dream I had was to have a brown stone on 855 00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:23,319 Speaker 1: Spring Garden Street in Philadelphia. Sure, and I think I'm 856 00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:28,920 Speaker 1: trying to get at what is for you is more 857 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,560 Speaker 1: than likely bigger than the dreams that you have for yourself, 858 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:36,720 Speaker 1: because you don't know. You have no capacity how broad 859 00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:40,360 Speaker 1: the strokes are and how rich the colors are, You 860 00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:44,360 Speaker 1: have no capacity. What you have to do is be 861 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:51,279 Speaker 1: genuine to yourself, be honest with yourself m hm, walk 862 00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:55,600 Speaker 1: away from things that don't benefit you. Things and people 863 00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:01,200 Speaker 1: and amazing things show up in your life. Amazing people 864 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:06,719 Speaker 1: show up in your life. And I just my goal 865 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:12,000 Speaker 1: is to be more loving to this wonderful person that 866 00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,440 Speaker 1: is that has come into my life. I'm very very happy, 867 00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:21,600 Speaker 1: very satisfied, very pleased, and I'm enjoying the work. The 868 00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:26,880 Speaker 1: work is fun. The work is so fun. Yeah, So 869 00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:29,759 Speaker 1: just when it's like a fun work, we like a 870 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:33,680 Speaker 1: fun word. I'll take the fun word. It's a first 871 00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:42,680 Speaker 1: DV that the toiling and it's not wend put that 872 00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:46,120 Speaker 1: down on your list, that the work be fun. I 873 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:50,480 Speaker 1: like it work be enjoyable. I actually have a actually 874 00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:52,799 Speaker 1: have a friend who's been married I want to say, 875 00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:55,080 Speaker 1: like seven or eight years, something like that, and he 876 00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,400 Speaker 1: every year on the anniversary, he writes this, and I 877 00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:00,319 Speaker 1: think it's beautiful. He writes, he said, everyone told us 878 00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:03,680 Speaker 1: all relationships are work, their work, their work, and he 879 00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,359 Speaker 1: was like, talk to his wife. He said, honestly, it's 880 00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:09,879 Speaker 1: really not that hard loving you. Is that what work 881 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,600 Speaker 1: were people talking about? And I love that he said this, 882 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:18,759 Speaker 1: because I do want us to to contextualized work in 883 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,880 Speaker 1: a way that feels like it serves you and that 884 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,879 Speaker 1: it doesn't drain you. It's the work is a thing 885 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:28,880 Speaker 1: that should feel like an accomplishment. It should feel like 886 00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:33,320 Speaker 1: something that's fulfiling and purposeful. Even if it's challenging to you, 887 00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:37,960 Speaker 1: it's still should have a sense that this is for 888 00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,640 Speaker 1: a greater creation of a thing and that you feel 889 00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:45,200 Speaker 1: invested in that creation. So I think that's important. I mean, 890 00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:48,440 Speaker 1: I'm talking about it like it's freaking hall and bricks. 891 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,279 Speaker 1: It's not that they won't have a hall break day. 892 00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:54,800 Speaker 1: You might have a hall break day. All. I'm just 893 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,879 Speaker 1: saying for the person who's been married one thousand years 894 00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:03,720 Speaker 1: on this podcast, some days it's all and break. I'm sorry. 895 00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:08,160 Speaker 1: I hate to break it. But yes, sometimes it's all 896 00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:10,920 Speaker 1: in a break or two. But the overall this shouldn't 897 00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:15,560 Speaker 1: be that way. Amen. Amen, Wow, it don't stop, friends, 898 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:20,759 Speaker 1: It don't stop. Yeah, feel me, it don't stop. Just uh. 899 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:24,440 Speaker 1: As a poet I know once wrote, um, if you 900 00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,000 Speaker 1: loved and lost, do you stop loving? If you have 901 00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:35,279 Speaker 1: a nightmare, do you stop dreaming? Huh? Yeah? Yeah, love 902 00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:39,600 Speaker 1: is Love is the gift friends, Maybe not the only mission, 903 00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:43,279 Speaker 1: but damn sure high up there, sure make the orgasm better. 904 00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:47,800 Speaker 1: I'm just saying m. On that note, thank you so 905 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,200 Speaker 1: much for listening to Jay dot Il the podcast. You 906 00:55:51,280 --> 00:56:00,439 Speaker 1: are loved over here. We want you to win. How 907 00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:08,719 Speaker 1: do you Eat an Elephant? One by it time high listeners. 908 00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,759 Speaker 1: In today's episode, the ladies get into how to talk 909 00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:16,200 Speaker 1: to your romantic partner about sex and pleasure. This can 910 00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:18,799 Speaker 1: be a pretty big elephant to eat for so many 911 00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:22,080 Speaker 1: of us having the language to talk through our desires 912 00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:25,239 Speaker 1: is a great place to start. So how well do 913 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:28,279 Speaker 1: you know your own body? Asia brought up the size 914 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:32,440 Speaker 1: of a woman's clitteress and just how expansive it is now. 915 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:36,560 Speaker 1: She learned this from a Netflix documentary called Principles of Pleasure, 916 00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:40,280 Speaker 1: so we definitely recommend that you give that documentary a watch. 917 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,799 Speaker 1: I also want to share an article with you from 918 00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:46,520 Speaker 1: The Guardian that breaks down seven tips such as timing, 919 00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,800 Speaker 1: tone and how to explain what you like and don't like. 920 00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:53,080 Speaker 1: I'll draw out the link to both of these resources 921 00:56:53,239 --> 00:57:08,719 Speaker 1: in the show notes. Hi, if you have comments on 922 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,160 Speaker 1: something we said in this episode called eight six six, 923 00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,680 Speaker 1: Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, 924 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:19,640 Speaker 1: that's eight six six four three nine five four five five. 925 00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,440 Speaker 1: Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode 926 00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:25,920 Speaker 1: you're referring to. You might just hear your message on 927 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:29,800 Speaker 1: a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott 928 00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:35,840 Speaker 1: Presents Jay dot Ill the podcast. Hi, this is Amber, 929 00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,200 Speaker 1: the producer of j dot Ill, and I just thought 930 00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,280 Speaker 1: that I had while um listening to the conversation. Is 931 00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:46,080 Speaker 1: I wonder how tied up chills friends enjoyment of sex 932 00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:49,560 Speaker 1: is to toxicity Since this person has such a lack 933 00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:52,600 Speaker 1: of toxicity and she's used to like toxic personalities and 934 00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:56,000 Speaker 1: good sex going hand in hand. How her body is 935 00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:59,120 Speaker 1: responding to somebody who doesn't have as much toxicity as 936 00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,840 Speaker 1: if that's not something she's used to in romantic relationships, 937 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,920 Speaker 1: if that's affecting how good the sex is, Like is 938 00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:07,439 Speaker 1: he really not good? Or is her body not able 939 00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:09,480 Speaker 1: to respond because it's not getting in the same triggers 940 00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:20,000 Speaker 1: that I used to before rocking back? And so little 941 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:28,000 Speaker 1: food for thought, thought, a lot of thought. Oh the release. 942 00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:34,280 Speaker 1: J dot Ill is a production of I heart Radio. 943 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,760 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I 944 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:42,240 Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to 945 00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:43,480 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.