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Speaker 1: I don't know about you guys, but I've never been

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Speaker 1: caught doing weird stuff at work. You people, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I definitely do it, and whoever sees it usually wants

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Speaker 1: to join in.

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Speaker 2: So technically I'm not be taught.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're just not told on right, I see.

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Speaker 1: For one of our listeners, she says she was coming

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Speaker 1: home to her apartment the other day and came across

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Speaker 1: her landlord in a very compromising position, and what she

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Speaker 1: decided to do next could be either the smartest or dumbest.

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Speaker 2: Move of her entire life.

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Speaker 1: Oday, she reached out to us, hoping to use the

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Speaker 1: information to her advantage. So we're going to try and

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Speaker 1: help her in a textual healing coming up next. Text

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Speaker 1: you will heal, Then text you will You know you

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Speaker 1: have a clogged toilet, you call a plumber.

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Speaker 2: Do you have a flat tire? You call triple A.

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Speaker 1: Sure, if you have a text message that you need

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Speaker 1: to send and you don't want to screw.

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Speaker 2: It up, who do you call?

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Speaker 4: Jeffrey?

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Speaker 1: You call fifteen other people and ask their answers.

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Speaker 2: They all suck.

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Speaker 1: Then you can come to us for a little textual healing.

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Speaker 4: We got there and.

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Speaker 1: One of our listeners, has gone through her entire friend

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Speaker 1: group came up with nothing, So now she wants our help.

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Speaker 2: Her name is CALLI CALLI. Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 5: Hi, thank you so much, please help.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad we're your last resort, Kelly, glad your real.

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Speaker 2: Friends don't answer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, tell us about your situation a little bit

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Speaker 1: and how we can help heal you textually.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So I'm living in this apartment. It's the best

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Speaker 5: apartment that I've ever lived in. It's a great location,

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Speaker 5: you know, I have like the most amazing view. Apartment

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Speaker 5: complex has a pool.

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Speaker 2: Do they have any availability right now?

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Speaker 5: Doesn't sound like we can afford, That's the thing. So

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Speaker 5: I can't even afford to live here, like barely right now.

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Speaker 5: And I'm afraid they're going to increase my rent in

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Speaker 5: a couple of months when my rent is supposed to

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Speaker 5: be renewed.

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Speaker 3: So are we going to negotiate your rent via text message?

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Speaker 4: I think we can do it.

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Speaker 3: I think we could.

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Speaker 4: I can talk anybody down.

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you your lease is coming up here? How long?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, in a couple of months?

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Speaker 2: About okay?

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Speaker 5: Okay, but Loki, I need them to reduce the rent

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Speaker 5: by at least one hundred dollars where I'm going to

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Speaker 5: have to move.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh wow, We're going to get a rent reduction.

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Speaker 4: Does that happen anymore?

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Speaker 6: It does.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna coll exactly what we do today.

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Speaker 2: Okay, how are you going to get your rent knocked down?

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Speaker 5: The only thought that I have in terms of how

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Speaker 5: I can do this, and I really think I can,

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Speaker 5: is the fact that we have a new property manager. Okay,

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Speaker 5: super cute, and he's about my age. I just have

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Speaker 5: a feeling like if I work them a little bit,

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Speaker 5: massa him a little bit v tech message.

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Speaker 3: Okay, are saying you're to start hitting on your new

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Speaker 3: property manager.

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Speaker 5: I like it. I don't want to hit on him,

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Speaker 5: but I have a feeling that just like, uh, you.

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Speaker 4: Know, I want to put a vibe out, you want

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Speaker 4: to create a rapport.

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Speaker 5: Exactly I need to create a rapport. I need to

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Speaker 5: like get in there and just figure out a way

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Speaker 5: to get Dave the property manager, to sign off on

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Speaker 5: a ret renewal that is preperably less.

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Speaker 3: I was joking about negotiating rent prices. I don't actually

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Speaker 3: know that we're the best people for that.

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Speaker 5: I think I think it's possible.

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Speaker 4: Have you texted with Dave yet? Like, have you met

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Speaker 4: him at all?

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Speaker 5: We've had one interaction.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, that's something to work with.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, he's stooping a rat, a dead rat out of

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Speaker 5: the pool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, new place, but it's actually run down the pool.

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Speaker 4: Like an above ground like tarp that they set up.

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Speaker 2: It's just in the city. I'm guessing in the pool,

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 5: And I saw what he was doing and just like

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Speaker 5: was like ew and then he kind of like laughed

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Speaker 5: and was like, yeah, you know, my job sucks, but Hi,

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Speaker 5: how you doing?

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Speaker 2: What a fun interaction?

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Speaker 3: But that could almost be blackmail, right because she's the

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Speaker 3: only one that saw the rat and the pool.

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Speaker 4: If she told other people.

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Speaker 3: I mean, if we're gonna get dirty with this guy

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Speaker 3: and we want to like get a rent reduction.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if blackmailing your apartment manager is the

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Speaker 1: best way to go.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I like what.

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Speaker 5: I agree. I think we could have like a friendly

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Speaker 5: agreement to like keep that between us, you know. Like

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Speaker 5: the other option is obviously like should I flirt with them?

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Speaker 5: Should I throw them a smile?

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Speaker 1: Well, we have to do this over a text message. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So I'm going to Google tricks to make strangers do

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Speaker 1: stuff for you.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I fell over. Text is the hard part. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: AI is really going to take over our jobs.

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Speaker 2: This is a twenty one and over website.

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Speaker 1: This isn't Seven ways to make a stranger help you out.

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Speaker 2: Number one says smile.

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Speaker 4: Can't do that on the text.

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Speaker 1: You can do a smile emoji, so we could start

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Speaker 1: with a smiley emoji. Number two is used their name

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Speaker 1: a few.

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Speaker 4: Times, Dave, Dave, Dave.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, Dave, Hey Dave, what's up Dave?

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, do you have to start with hey

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Speaker 3: Dave Kelly from you know, whatever your apartment number is.

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Speaker 1: Remember, I'm the the girl that saw you fish the

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Speaker 1: rat out of the pool and shouted gross.

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Speaker 5: Maybe just be like, I think it's actually perfect.

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Speaker 1: Right at least they put it'll help him put a

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Speaker 1: face to the name.

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Speaker 5: I could be like, I'm the blonde who said, while

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Speaker 5: you were fishing the rat out of the pool, there

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Speaker 5: are other.

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Speaker 4: People with other hair cums.

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Speaker 1: Well, she said gross to him and they had one

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Speaker 1: sentence conversation, so that's good. Number three says use humor. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe telling a joke. It says, even if it

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Speaker 1: doesn't land. It shows you're trying to be.

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Speaker 3: Fun, and I'd hire you to be Mike can band

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Speaker 3: a boy any day of the weeks.

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Speaker 4: We have a pool for rats. That's how fancy it is.

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Speaker 3: Maybe a ratituey joke that's gonna be funny like that.

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Speaker 4: You have to do the little rat emoji though.

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Speaker 1: So here's my idea to incorporate everything that we've learned here. Hey, Dave, Dave,

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Speaker 1: I'm that blonde girl who said gross when you pulled

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Speaker 1: the rat out of the pool. And later, maybe you

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Speaker 1: can come by and we can have some ratituey. What

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Speaker 1: do you think, Dave, smiley face?

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Speaker 2: That sounds wow fay, but.

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Speaker 1: It's going off of the internet suggestions here. The internet

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Speaker 1: is small than any of us.

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Speaker 4: Sound like a computer? Sure, what joke is?

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Speaker 3: I haven't been able to cook anything all week because

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Speaker 3: that rat was the one teaching me. No.

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Speaker 2: They said there was no bad jokes, but I think

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Speaker 2: we just proved them. I don't know, cal.

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Speaker 1: I mean, the final decision is yours. It's your text message,

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Speaker 1: so you get to decide what you want to write.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I definitely feel like something along the lines

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Speaker 5: like Heydays nice. It's Callie from Apartment the Blonde two said,

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Speaker 5: gross when you fish the rat at the pool.

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Speaker 4: Just wanted to welcome you to the building.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I wanted to welcome you to the building.

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Speaker 5: Ratitude at my place and she sounds.

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Speaker 2: Pretty solid rat emoji. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Said, I mean, we started off on kind of rocky

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Speaker 1: ground there, but I feel like we ended up with

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Speaker 1: a pretty solid text.

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Speaker 2: I mean, at least, I'm sure we're going to get

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Speaker 2: a response.

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Speaker 4: He may be like, what are you on?

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Speaker 2: L Yeah, Victim.

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Speaker 4: Maybe he'll be like I want some of whatever you're on.

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Speaker 4: You know, he'll.

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Speaker 2: Respond, that's for sure. Let's find out.

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Speaker 1: We're going to continue and see if Dave the apartment

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Speaker 1: manager is going to lower your rent when we do

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Speaker 1: textual healing thank you. Right after this, one of our listeners, Calli,

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Speaker 1: is on the phone right now. She loves her apartment,

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Speaker 1: but her lease is coming up, and if she wants

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Speaker 1: to stay, which she desperately does, she's gonna need to

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Speaker 1: get a rent reduction or she won't be able to

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Speaker 1: afford it anymore. Now, a younger single guy has apparently

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Speaker 1: taken over managing her building.

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Speaker 2: His name is Dave, and he is from what we hear.

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Speaker 2: That's what she.

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Speaker 3: Says, because they're only interaction in person has been while

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Speaker 3: she was watching him take a drowned rat out of

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Speaker 3: their pool with a net.

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Speaker 1: And she screamed ew gross. Yeah, and he acknowledged it

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Speaker 1: and was like, yeah, my job is terrible. So essentially

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Speaker 1: he's basically a stranger to her at this point. That's

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Speaker 1: why I googled the top seven ways to make a

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Speaker 1: stranger like you and want to help you instantly, which I.

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Speaker 3: Feel like has already been in your Google search history.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it did auto fill the rest.

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Speaker 1: So her first text incorporated three points that I came across.

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Speaker 1: It said, One, you should smile, so we used smile emoji.

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Speaker 1: Two to use their name a few times. So we

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Speaker 1: repeated Dave at least times. In the first text.

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Speaker 4: We just went with once.

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Speaker 1: But okay, well maybe that was our mistake. Number Three,

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Speaker 1: break the ice with some levity or a joke. So

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Speaker 1: we referenced the dead rat, saying that we could do

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Speaker 1: something with ratituy as a meal over at her apartment,

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Speaker 1: Kelly has He responded, he did.

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Speaker 4: Why you sound sad? What did he say?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 5: No, okay, he said, what so you're the tenant who

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Speaker 5: saw me pull the rat out of the pool. You're

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Speaker 5: joking about the rataituy, right, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Okay, this is good though. This is good because he's nervous.

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Speaker 4: He's nervous.

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Speaker 3: He's nervous. You're gonna rat him out. Okay we are next.

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Speaker 2: Seventy listeners just tuned away.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I need I need some real advice. Guys.

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Speaker 4: That was real.

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Speaker 1: Let's do the Damsel into stress angle where it says, Hey, Dave,

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Speaker 1: I'm in a situation and I could really use your help.

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Speaker 4: So we're saying, hey Dave again.

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Speaker 1: I'm sticking with the suggestions. You need to continue using

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Speaker 1: his name, need you.

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Speaker 2: From the pool of life.

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Speaker 4: First you say yes, it was a joke.

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Speaker 3: That's a fair part, and then you move into I

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Speaker 3: need your help with something.

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Speaker 2: I like that. Pwy, I'm like a financial rat drowning

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Speaker 2: in that.

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Speaker 4: But you laugh at him.

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Speaker 2: That was funny. Okay, I expect them for me. You

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Speaker 2: don't expect them.

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Speaker 1: Just tell him like, I seriously need a way to

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Speaker 1: figure out how to lower my rent by one hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars right now, Let's.

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Speaker 3: Wait till the next text for that slow goll Jeffrey

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Speaker 3: ask for.

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Speaker 2: The thing simply if you pointed out my roles, that's

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Speaker 2: really offensive.

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Speaker 5: Okay, I got it, I got it. So hey, Dave, Yes, ratitude,

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Speaker 5: he was a joke. I'm actually in a situation I

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Speaker 5: could use your help. My release is coming up and

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Speaker 5: I need to find a way to reduce it by

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Speaker 5: at least one hundred dollars any idea.

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Speaker 2: I just went from like siy to like very.

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Speaker 3: I know it's direct direct, but you want an answer,

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Speaker 3: so go for it. And it's a business relationship right now.

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Speaker 2: And from his last it's clear he remembers you.

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Speaker 5: So okay, I send.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, said did you put a smiley emoji on it?

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Speaker 5: Though I did not? Okay, Okay, I just that one

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Speaker 5: out that went out.

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Speaker 4: Okay, it's going to be like a big smiling I mean,

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Speaker 4: that's interesting.

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Speaker 3: We're just we're just.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, oh my god, he's just finding he's

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Speaker 5: I mean, I see that.

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Speaker 2: Hold on, wait.

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Speaker 3: That stuf. I'm sorry, it's something they started doing.

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Speaker 2: Don't apologize for fun. Yes, forgot what did he what

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Speaker 2: did he write?

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Speaker 5: He wrote, Well, you could get a roommate that would

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Speaker 5: reduce it by a lot more than one hundred dollars.

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Speaker 5: We could see if we can move you into a

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Speaker 5: smaller unit facing the back alley.

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Speaker 3: What if you write back and say, Dave, I don't

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Speaker 3: think a view of the of more rats is in

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Speaker 3: my wheelhouse.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's funny.

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Speaker 3: Let's let's go with that's what Jose said.

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Speaker 4: I just reset it.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, seriously.

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Speaker 5: When I just wait, I'm going to make it sound

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Speaker 5: like he made a joke, like, haha, Dave, I don't

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Speaker 5: need a view of more rats.

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Speaker 2: That men like when I feel funny.

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Speaker 1: Love it, But we need to ask a question to

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Speaker 1: keep him responding. So let's add something to it, like

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Speaker 1: is there any way I could stay in my same

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Speaker 1: apartment and pay less?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Okay, okay, sense.

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Speaker 4: I mean honestly, what about this?

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Speaker 3: What if you volunteer to be on rat patrol at

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Speaker 3: the pool.

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Speaker 4: And they could pay you one hundred dollars.

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Speaker 5: I want to do it, you know, I don't like Yeah, gross,

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Speaker 5: that's a lot.

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Speaker 3: Everybody wants the money without working for it.

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Speaker 1: I see you said, Hey, I'm willing to sign a

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Speaker 1: three to maybe four year lease if this will help me.

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Speaker 2: Screw that one hundred year lease. I want to die

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Speaker 2: in this building.

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Speaker 4: Like that rat. I think rat patrol is much better

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Speaker 4: than this death.

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Speaker 6: Somewhere goody else, he said, I don't think there's any

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Speaker 6: way you can stay here and pay less unless you

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Speaker 6: want to help me get rid.

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Speaker 5: Of the rat right inside joke turn into me becoming

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Speaker 5: like the patrol. I can't.

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Speaker 3: I can't uses these poison traps that they are really back.

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Speaker 3: You don't even barely have to deal with the carcass.

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Speaker 2: Doing a breakdown of how to kill rats.

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Speaker 3: They have like the new stuff they have is amazing,

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Speaker 3: although a good.

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Speaker 2: Old fat I'm so sorry, are you willing to kill rats?

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Speaker 5: I don't even want to talk about it, but I

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Speaker 5: just asked them, are you sure? Dave? Is there anything else?

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Speaker 4: You could be? The red queen? He could be the

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Speaker 4: ret ky.

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Speaker 2: Mat me put a smiley face after those texts.

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Speaker 5: Don't forget that last one. I definitely did not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, maybe this is time to compromise.

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Speaker 3: And then he says, if you do this, then you

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Speaker 3: can get two hundred dollars off your ora. Say you're

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Speaker 3: going to do it, then start dating an exterminator and

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Speaker 3: get him to come in and do the work.

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Speaker 1: Trying to live out your fantasy to our listeners.

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Speaker 2: Most people a pizza boys.

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Speaker 3: I bet they don't have a lot of options in

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Speaker 3: the day.

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Speaker 2: Let's get back to the texts. Is that so? We said,

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Speaker 2: is there anything else that you can do?

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Speaker 5: Are you sure, David? Is there anything else? And he

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Speaker 5: is typing yeah, he says, we have an ant problem

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Speaker 5: in the northwest part of the building about.

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Speaker 3: What isn't living in your apartment building?

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Speaker 2: Now you work there too.

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Speaker 5: I mean, first he wanted me to do deal with

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Speaker 5: the rats, and now he wants me to get rid

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Speaker 5: of the ant Are.

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Speaker 3: You open to that?

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Speaker 1: Because I'm in there in the second I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to kill a bunch of.

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Speaker 5: Honestly, Okay, well you I think if you knock off,

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Speaker 5: if you knock off to hundred, I'll do the rat negotiations.

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Speaker 4: You're gonna get it.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 5: I'll do the rat thing. Okay, can you send me

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Speaker 5: a link for like the poison traps that you're down?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, I'll text my dad right now.

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Speaker 4: He loves this stuff. Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 2: Brook will do a whole podcast about it.

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Speaker 1: Amazing, terminate properly, Dad textually healed.

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Speaker 2: You now at this point, right, Kelly, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 5: Dave, Dave. Dave just texted back. Deal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, now you're the rat lady in the building. Are

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Speaker 2: there any snakes in there too? For free?

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Speaker 4: It's probably more likely raccoon.

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Speaker 5: Well, I'll let you know if I end up with

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Speaker 5: the bubonic plate. But anyway, I think I think I

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Speaker 5: get to keep the apartment.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, if.

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Speaker 1: You ever want textual healing, please email someone else.

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Speaker 5: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.