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Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress.

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Speaker 2: Whip Smarties.

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Speaker 1: Today, we are joined by two guests that I just

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if I have the words to

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Speaker 1: describe how excited I am that they're here. I'm such

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Speaker 1: a fan of their work, their sketch comedy, They're award

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Speaker 1: winning videos. I mean me and you know eight million

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Speaker 1: other people who follow them across their social media platforms

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Speaker 1: and the two billion people who have watched said videos.

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Speaker 1: I'm not exactly new on the discovery here, but I

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Speaker 1: am long on the adoration. Today's guests are Kim and

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Speaker 1: pen Holderness. They have been married for eighteen years, and

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Speaker 1: over the past decade they have become incredible online content creators,

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Speaker 1: and now they are on a mission as a duo

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Speaker 1: and as parents to reboot how we think about ADHD.

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Speaker 1: They are bringing their trademark uplifting humor, which you probably

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Speaker 1: saw on The Amazing Race here on their podcasts, have

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Speaker 1: read in any of their best sellers, or you know,

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Speaker 1: listen to on their videos. They're bringing that humor and

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Speaker 1: their personal insights plus five years of research, which you

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Speaker 1: know makes my brain feel excited to share their experience

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Speaker 1: with a condition that affects millions of people around the world,

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Speaker 1: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Penn was in college when he

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Speaker 1: was diagnosed, and although the signs of having a brain

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Speaker 1: that worked differently had been there since he was a kid,

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Speaker 1: he still had to go on quite a journey to

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Speaker 1: figure out as an adult what coping with his neurospicy

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Speaker 1: brain looked like. And as he researched how to do that,

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Speaker 1: he realized he wanted to write a book. So they

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Speaker 1: wrote this book together. They are sharing it with fellow

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Speaker 1: adhdars and the people who care about them. As you know,

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Speaker 1: one of the estimated ten million people in America with

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Speaker 1: a neurospicy brain.

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Speaker 2: I am so excited that they are here and so

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Speaker 2: excited to ask all of the questions. Let's get to it. Well, Hi, guys, welcome,

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining me.

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Speaker 3: Today, Thanks for having us for excited.

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Speaker 1: Well, gosh, I mean, you guys have obviously so much history.

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Speaker 1: You've been married for nineteen years, and as you say,

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Speaker 1: you have a news background, you have this whole incredible

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Speaker 1: life you've created, and the things that you make and

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Speaker 1: the content that you produce. I want to like, I

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Speaker 1: want to go back before we catch up to where

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Speaker 1: we are today.

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Speaker 2: How did you two first meet.

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Speaker 4: In a bar?

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Speaker 3: In a bar in North Carolina at Florida? We were Alada.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so we were reporters opposite stations in Orlando, Florida.

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Speaker 2: Oh the competition.

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Speaker 4: Competition, and everyone says that were just so funny, but

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Speaker 4: like we were the only people awake. Yeah, Tuesday night

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Speaker 4: and it's twelve o'clock and you know, it's midnight and

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Speaker 4: we finally get off work. So thank god there were

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Speaker 4: other stations so we could like talk to other people.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, this business is actually very incestuous. So yeah,

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Speaker 5: I met him at a bar. Then, you know, a

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Speaker 5: few months later I saw him. We kind of connected,

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Speaker 5: and then I saw him during the worm on stage

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Speaker 5: and I was like, this man is mine, Like that

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Speaker 5: said it's done. Yeah, that's that's him. Yeah, So that

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Speaker 5: was it, and then we got we were engaged and married,

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Speaker 5: Like we were engaged within nine months and then married

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Speaker 5: nine months later.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, incredible.

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Speaker 1: When y'all were growing up, did you envision being public figures? Like,

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Speaker 1: can you sort of see a through line from your

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Speaker 1: childhood dreams to what you do now? Or has everything

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Speaker 1: just taking five left turns and you can't sort of

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Speaker 1: believe this is where we find ourselves today.

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Speaker 5: I mean, you do have that poster I did stand

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Speaker 5: out in front of The Today Show when I was

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Speaker 5: in high school that said like future NBC News anchor,

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Speaker 5: and Katie Kirk signed it when she was on.

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Speaker 3: The Today Show.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 5: I grew up in a small town in Florida, and

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Speaker 5: I always wanted to be a writer, and I didn't

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Speaker 5: know and I loved comedy, but I just didn't really

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Speaker 5: see a path as a writer besides a newspaper writer

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Speaker 5: or some sort of like television reporter. So I just

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Speaker 5: didn't see a path any other path. And I always yeah,

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Speaker 5: and I always kind of pictured myself behind the scenes

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Speaker 5: on things. So this is weird and a thousand left turns.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to be a musician for a long time,

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Speaker 4: but I didn't really have the patience to learn a

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Speaker 4: lot of the inside the music. But I felt like

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Speaker 4: I had like a creative side to it. I played

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Speaker 4: in I was part of a lot of music theater

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Speaker 4: growing up in high school, and so that got me

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Speaker 4: into doing a cappella and in a band in college.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, maybe I should be in

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Speaker 4: a band, and my parents were like, what are you

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Speaker 4: talking about, No, you can't be in a band. Go

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Speaker 4: find a real job. And so the closest I could

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Speaker 4: find to a real job that didn't bore me to

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Speaker 4: death was working for a local TV station, which had

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Speaker 4: no real, real musical element to it. But I did.

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Speaker 4: I did that for almost two decades before we started

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Speaker 4: this next just bizarre left turn into the internet, where

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Speaker 4: you can really do whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: So how did that happen?

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Speaker 1: How do you go from working in the news to

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Speaker 1: having this digital career?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so we question, Yeah, all right, so we I

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Speaker 4: didn't see my kids. I just could. The way that

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Speaker 4: local news works, you either work from three to twelve,

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Speaker 4: like three am to twelve noon, or you work from

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Speaker 4: three pm to midnight. And when your kids are younger

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Speaker 4: than not really going to school, and they're just like

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Speaker 4: balls of you know, skin rolling around everywhere, it's like, well,

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Speaker 4: like I can see them whenever. It's fine, I'll like

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Speaker 4: see them for a long time. But then when they

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Speaker 4: start going off to school, you really don't see them.

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Speaker 4: And so Kim had started a career where she was

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Speaker 4: doing video production for other entities.

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Speaker 3: Like shooting videos.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and well, and because I'd been in sports and

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Speaker 4: in journalism for almost twenty years, I had some experience

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Speaker 4: shooting and editing. And she was like, look, maybe we

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Speaker 4: could just make this work. Like I was a news

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Speaker 4: anchor at the time, but like instead of being a

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Speaker 4: news anchor, you know, I know you know how to

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Speaker 4: shoot and edit, Like you could be my shooter and

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Speaker 4: my editor. I offer you zero benefits, a share of

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Speaker 4: what we make with no salary. What do you think

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Speaker 4: And I was like, great, let's do it.

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Speaker 5: And so to set the scene there, we had two

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Speaker 5: months in savings, we had two young kids. We were

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Speaker 5: giving up like benefits and a good job, but I

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Speaker 5: was so it was just like a miserable existence. And

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Speaker 5: so that Christmas, so the first video we did.

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Speaker 4: Our kids were six.

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Speaker 5: Or and six, and they weren't really sitting still for

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Speaker 5: Christmas card picture. So we decided to make a Christmas

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Speaker 5: video and we would send it around and hopefully like

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Speaker 5: my mom would share it, and then like his aunt

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Speaker 5: would see it, and then maybe local companies would hire

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Speaker 5: us to do their video production. And we he wrote

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Speaker 5: a parody song and it was like in my Christmas

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Speaker 5: Jammis and it went like crazy viral and it was

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Speaker 5: on all the news shows and all that stuff. So

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Speaker 5: that video, actually that changed our lives because after that,

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Speaker 5: it still took us several years to figure out how

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Speaker 5: we're doing what we're doing now, But that we got

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Speaker 5: like ten thousand emails for people who wanted to hire

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Speaker 5: us for our company.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Well, we put our email on the video, like, hey,

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Speaker 4: we want to if you want to work for us

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Speaker 4: in a while we're dancing work with Doma's car, hire us.

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Speaker 4: Here's our here's our email address. And then so we're

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Speaker 4: so stupid we thought like maybe our you know, parents,

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Speaker 4: We put our home address on it, our driver's license,

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Speaker 4: you know, was our car license plate was on there.

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Speaker 4: So like a lot of our personal information was on

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Speaker 4: this video. They got somewhat million people, and so that

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Speaker 4: sucked when we had to figure out how to Yeah,

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Speaker 4: we learned some lessons, but it also.

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Speaker 2: Learned some lessons and probably moved.

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Speaker 4: Yeah we moved, but but it it did allow us

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Speaker 4: to start like a new direction of just being creative

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Speaker 4: on the internet. However, we wanted that's not cool, not

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Speaker 4: being beholden to eleven pm deadlines.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's it's also so interesting to me. Two

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Speaker 1: things that really stand out that you've said knowing about

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Speaker 1: the new book is then you said that you never

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Speaker 1: had the patients are in the instruments. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: the graveyard have failed hobbies, were never executed? Hobbies that

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Speaker 1: exists all over my home, the stacks of books, oh dear.

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Speaker 1: And then you also said it's taking you a it

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Speaker 1: took you a couple of years from that video to

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Speaker 1: sort of figure out what your thing was. And for

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Speaker 1: folks with ADHD, like not knowing what it is immediately

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Speaker 1: or not being really good at it right away can

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Speaker 1: be the reason that we quit things. So I'm fascinated

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Speaker 1: that you were able to take some time.

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Speaker 2: Did that feel like.

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Speaker 1: Did that time feel like an exciting journey, almost like

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Speaker 1: being at a TV station and learning something in real time?

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Speaker 1: Or was it torture for you? And she kept you

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Speaker 1: on track? Like how did that work?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so interesting. So I think that I really

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Speaker 4: never found the way to see the world from thirty

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Speaker 4: thousand feet above, you know, like a good project manager

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Speaker 4: would do. I just kept doing, like, oh wait, I

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Speaker 4: did something that worked, squirrel, what's the next thing that

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Speaker 4: I'm going to find and do like I'm just repeat, repeat,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna do this again. And in some ways that worked.

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Speaker 4: It helped build our audience up, but we didn't do

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Speaker 4: it with a ton of consistency, and we were still

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Speaker 4: doing all the things we promised people on that video

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Speaker 4: that we would do, which is like make videos for

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Speaker 4: the dentist office down the street, but.

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Speaker 5: We made videos like we weren't in them, but we

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Speaker 5: were like behind the scene producing commercials for like companies

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Speaker 5: and brands.

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Speaker 4: But we had the most fun when we just put

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Speaker 4: everything down and we figured it, this is just going

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Speaker 4: to be like a free thing that we're not going

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Speaker 4: to make any money on because we didn't know how

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Speaker 4: to monetize videos like hey, let's do something about let's

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Speaker 4: do another parody. And those parodies kept doing well and

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Speaker 4: they kept you know, making national news and they kept

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Speaker 4: building up our audience. So for me, really what it

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Speaker 4: was was not taking a minute to stop and say

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Speaker 4: where are we going with this? The question of death

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Speaker 4: right exactly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I would ask him like where do you see yourself

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Speaker 5: in five years? Where do you think this is going?

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Speaker 5: And he's like, oh, Vicky, like I don't want to

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Speaker 5: answer that I don't know. Yeah, so I think it's

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Speaker 5: the fact that he didn't allow himself to zoom out.

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Speaker 5: And I didn't know. I mean, who knew ten years

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Speaker 5: ago that the internet would look like it does today?

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Speaker 5: So like I didn't have I wasn't smart enough to

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Speaker 5: know what sort of platforms would exist.

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Speaker 2: So that's so interesting.

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Speaker 1: We'll be back in just a minute after a few

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Speaker 1: words from our favorite sponsors.

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Speaker 2: And how did you guys.

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Speaker 1: Now when you kind of look at what you've built,

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Speaker 1: how do you determine.

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Speaker 2: Where your boundaries go?

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Speaker 1: Because, like you said, that first video went in all

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Speaker 1: these places you didn't think it would.

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Speaker 2: People figured out where you lived. You literally had to move.

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Speaker 1: What what is the kind of filter that you pass

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Speaker 1: opportunities through or or that you make decisions on what

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Speaker 1: to share, what not to share? How much of your

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Speaker 1: life you know, especially because it's like to your real life,

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Speaker 1: it's your personal life, it's your marriage, it's your family.

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Speaker 1: You you love this stuff, but also it's a weird

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Speaker 1: world out there. How do you make sense of that tornado?

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Speaker 4: Well, we quickly set boundaries around our children. We were

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Speaker 4: aware that when this video went out and our kids

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Speaker 4: were on it that we didn't give them a choice

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Speaker 4: whether or not they wanted to be in a twenty

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Speaker 4: million via video because we didn't know it was going

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Speaker 4: to have that many. So that was the start. You

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Speaker 4: see a lot less of them as if you look

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Speaker 4: through the ten years we've been doing this as time

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Speaker 4: goes on. For a long time, it's been they have

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Speaker 4: to either well they have to want to be on it. Uh,

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Speaker 4: And a lot of times that's always been yeah, that's

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Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, that's always been the case. In addition,

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Speaker 4: like if they asked to be on it, a lot

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Speaker 4: of times we'll say this isn't really appropriate, like this

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Speaker 4: isn't this is too much exposure. But a lot of

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Speaker 4: times are these brand deals that come to us and

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Speaker 4: they're those are, to my in my opinion, like a

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Speaker 4: little more harmless. And those videos they get paid and

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Speaker 4: so they have they have a really nice college fund

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Speaker 4: now because they've been is part of their living. And

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Speaker 4: my kids spoiler alert kids really like money money.

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Speaker 5: So I will see they get a paycheck from us,

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Speaker 5: and they always have. So like that first video, once

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Speaker 5: we finally realized how to turn on monetization, like they

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Speaker 5: have Coogan accounts, you know, what I mean, like they

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Speaker 5: have so I'm sure we've screwed our kids up. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 5: hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: Everywhere everybody does. That's not that's.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's but I will say they're gonna have bank,

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Speaker 5: they're gonna be able to pay for therapy. So they

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Speaker 5: are I joke, they're coin operated because when they get

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Speaker 5: low on cash because they're now fourteen and seventeen, they're like, oh,

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Speaker 5: they're pitching videos to us because they know they have

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Speaker 5: a baseline of money they make just because they are

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Speaker 5: in existing videos. But they're like, hey, mom, what if

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Speaker 5: we did because they just want to make some more money.

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Speaker 5: So it's but the other boundaries, it's a really good

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Speaker 5: question because we had none and didn't know how to

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Speaker 5: really do that in the beginning because I don't think

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Speaker 5: we were. We weren't thinking big picture enough. We weren't

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Speaker 5: thinking about any of this, And I have regrets around that.

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Speaker 5: I have regrets around how much my kids were in

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Speaker 5: videos and all of that. We've deleted some, we've hid some,

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Speaker 5: but now like we don't we very rarely show our

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Speaker 5: bedroom we're using like a guest bedroom. We're very there's

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Speaker 5: like spaces in our houses that are in our house

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Speaker 5: that are private that you'll never see, but again, it

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Speaker 5: is our house, so it is super weird. We close

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Speaker 5: the laptops around like five o'clock and that's it, and

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Speaker 5: it's like no work talk. We try to really limit

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Speaker 5: that discussion in our marriage, Like we went to marriage

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Speaker 5: counseling and that was one of the things like we

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Speaker 5: needed to shut like it is like product is our

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Speaker 5: life and it's very authentically us, but that can't be

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Speaker 5: driving what our conversation is on a date night. So

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Speaker 5: definitely work in progress and we had a lot of

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Speaker 5: work to do on that.

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Speaker 1: I think that's really beautiful though, because at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, there's no guidebook for this. And when

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Speaker 1: you talk about like, oh we regret fill in the

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Speaker 1: blank from early days, like I feel that in my bones.

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Speaker 1: And something I've also learned as an adult diagnosed with

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Speaker 1: ADHD PEN.

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Speaker 2: Is that like the justice complex.

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Speaker 1: That can come with being a little neurospicy, I love

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Speaker 1: that about myself, Like that that makes me an activist,

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Speaker 1: It makes me a good journalist.

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Speaker 2: It does all these things.

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Speaker 1: But that obsession with truth when I was like when

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Speaker 1: I'd been twenty one for nine days and then I

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Speaker 1: got on a TV show, and I went from like

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Speaker 1: co sharing a philanthropic thing at my college to like

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Speaker 1: being on television.

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Speaker 2: I had no idea what I was doing.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know I didn't have to answer everybody's question

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Speaker 1: ends and interviews. I didn't know that I shouldn't just

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Speaker 1: be open about my personal life, Like I didn't understand

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Speaker 1: the business of any of it, and that the obsession

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Speaker 1: that that created that I sort of got like used

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Speaker 1: as product for for an early aughts TV show, like

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Speaker 1: as an adult person who has done all of the

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Speaker 1: wonderful things.

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Speaker 2: I've done and like you know, built schools.

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Speaker 1: And interviewed vice presidents and like just the things that

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Speaker 1: I'm so proud of, Like the the personal life obsession

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Speaker 1: chases me because it makes money for tabloids and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: there is so much more interesting shit that I do.

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Speaker 1: But like, okay, so when you talk about that, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we regret this and we try to shift it, Like

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Speaker 1: I have the same thing. I regret that there was

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Speaker 1: no crash course to teach me what I didn't know,

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Speaker 1: because I have to kind of retroactively trying to go

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Speaker 1: back shift, refuse to answer questions like redirect conversations that

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Speaker 1: I'm like, man, if anybody taught any of us who

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Speaker 1: were getting into the world of media that loves to

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Speaker 1: feed on our personal lives, like if anybody gave us

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Speaker 1: like a ten page guidebook, it would have been great.

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Speaker 5: But don't you think like early Oughts, especially that is

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Speaker 5: when like the Perez Hiltons of the world were coming up,

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Speaker 5: like you didn't know it yet, there was no guidebook.

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Speaker 3: It was bad because that we.

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Speaker 5: Didn't we didn't know as consumers that that, Oh, that's

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Speaker 5: really inappropriate for us to see this and know this

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Speaker 5: about this person. I think it's maybe it's better now,

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Speaker 5: I mean, I but like I know, I know with

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Speaker 5: kids are better, but there's some things that it's just Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So you started that conversation by talking about this sort

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Speaker 4: of like inner voice, this InterVoice of justice that you have.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you have that too?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, but I want to know for you like

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Speaker 4: that when I have it, I it conflicts with the

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Speaker 4: part of my ADHD that I think I've learned to

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Speaker 4: control but not completely. And that's like the emotional flooding

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Speaker 4: when I get really really upset about something where I

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Speaker 4: get like fixed by something emotionally, what was it like

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Speaker 4: for you when you were twenty one?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 4: What was the emotional slud? Like?

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Speaker 1: It was so hard and and you know, being for us.

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Speaker 1: I talk about this a lot with my best friend

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Speaker 1: from my first job. You know, she had a little

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Speaker 1: more experience because she'd been hired in college as a

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Speaker 1: VJ on MTV. She was going to school in New York,

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Speaker 1: and so.

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Speaker 2: She kind of got to know the music scene. So

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Speaker 2: she came into our show with like a little bit

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Speaker 2: of knowledge. I was like, bitch, I came onto.

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Speaker 1: Our show three years after I graduated from an all

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Speaker 1: girls school with fifty five girls in my graduating class, Like,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know anything about anything, and it you know,

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Speaker 1: it's interesting for us because the thing we had in

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Speaker 1: common was that we were you're expected to be so professional,

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Speaker 1: like you're the lead on a television show, and so

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Speaker 1: I kind of just followed a lot of what she did.

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's a mark.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I stand on the thing with a tape on the

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Speaker 1: floor shaped like a tea, Like, all right, which color

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Speaker 1: is my mark?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 1: You know you there was this sense of like I

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Speaker 1: can't let anyone know I'm just a kid, because I'm

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Speaker 1: twenty one, damn it, and I'm an adult, and so

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Speaker 1: there was a lot that we didn't even know to

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Speaker 1: ask for help on. And I think the folks who

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Speaker 1: realized they could make you know, so much money on

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Speaker 1: naive kids loved that they could be like, well, this

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Speaker 1: is how it goes, and we'd be like, okay, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't really we had no idea. It wasn't really until

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Speaker 1: later jobs where we were like, oh wait, this set,

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Speaker 1: this functions very differently than where I come from. This

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Speaker 1: feels like professional. What do you mean the writers want

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Speaker 1: to meet with me to talk to me about my

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Speaker 1: story arc. You're not just going to like hand me

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Speaker 1: a script on a Tuesday and tell me to start

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Speaker 1: acting it on a Wednesday. Really, like, there were all

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Speaker 1: these things that we just didn't know, And so I

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Speaker 1: think that's that for me. Is what comes up when

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Speaker 1: I think about your question, Like the emotional flooding, I

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Speaker 1: think I could excuse with oh, well, of course, I'm

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Speaker 1: really overwhelmed. This is really overwhelming. I just went from

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Speaker 1: taking college classes to filming eighteen hours a day on

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Speaker 1: a TV show, Like, of course, I'm really overwhelmed. I

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Speaker 1: moved away from my parents and every single person I know,

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Speaker 1: and I barely have time to talk to anyone who

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Speaker 1: knows me. Of course, I'm overwhelmed.

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Speaker 2: Like I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't get the difference because there were so many

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Speaker 1: things that I think could excuse the big feelings. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and when you go to work, you get trained, like

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Speaker 1: to perform well, to be a good soldier, to like

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Speaker 1: always be cheery and whatever. So especially for me understanding

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Speaker 1: how that these versions of neurospiciness present differently in women

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Speaker 1: and often are easier for women to mask because we've

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Speaker 1: been raised being told to mask our emotions, our whole lives,

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Speaker 1: to be good girls. I was like, oh, man, we

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Speaker 1: really like us ADHD girls get really set up to fail.

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Speaker 1: And then I was sort of it really blew my

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Speaker 1: mind in a good way as an adult, to go, Oh,

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Speaker 1: the things that I feel so much shame about in

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Speaker 1: my life are actually not indicators of my willpower, my strength,

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Speaker 1: my intelligence, any of it. It's hard for me to

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Speaker 1: see time as linear. I see it as a vertical stack,

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Speaker 1: and it's very overwhelming to me. Oh, okay, that's why

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Speaker 1: to do lists can feel hard to tackle. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what's the most important thing I have to talk

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Speaker 1: through it and reorganize my to do lists into chunks,

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Speaker 1: and like some of my friends just don't have to

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 2: But it took me a long.

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Speaker 1: Time to learn that I wasn't too sensitive or biting

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Speaker 1: off more than I could chew, or too smart for

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Speaker 1: my own good. Because I am a language person. I

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Speaker 1: do like when you said, I don't like to zoom out.

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Speaker 1: Where I zoom out is on like politics, policy, society, justice, activism.

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Speaker 1: So I can zoom out and stay in my like

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Speaker 1: nerdy little data land all day because then I don't

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Speaker 1: have to really feel my feelings either. Oh so the

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Speaker 1: whole Like, now that I see it all, it's kind

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Speaker 1: of like someone gave a kid who who can't see

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Speaker 1: a pair of glasses.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, is this what leaves

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Speaker 2: look like on trees?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I just thought it was like a green blob. Like

441
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 2: now that I get it, I get it.

442
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:50,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

443
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've felt that way since working on this book.

444
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 4: Just like that learning about how my brain works. Right,

445
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 4: because most people you explained to women, you know, they

446
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 4: are trained to and are very good at internalizing their difficulties.

447
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 4: They go undiagnosed three times more than men minorities same,

448
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 4: a very similar situation. So of course it's like the

449
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:17,439
Speaker 4: loud you know, white kids running around that getting all

450
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 4: the medicine. I ended up being like more inattentive than hyperactive,

451
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 4: So I wasn't diagnosed until I was much older either.

452
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 4: But when I learned, Okay, the reason why I am

453
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 4: unable to make it through a task is because my

454
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 4: brain is it has a bunch of on and off switches.

455
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 4: They're not dimmers like on a light mixing board that

456
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 4: you can bring up like twenty percent of each one

457
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 4: of them in a perfect composition of all these eight

458
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 4: lights or things going on. I've got a bunch of

459
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 4: on off switches and when I turned one of them on,

460
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 4: the rest of them turn off. Yeah, and I got

461
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 4: to go find them. They've left my working memory and

462
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 4: just like living for forty five years because even when

463
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 4: I got diagnosed, no one explained this to me. They

464
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 4: just handed me some Dexadron, which, by the way, is like, no,

465
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 4: it's like meth They speed God like, that's what they

466
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 4: gave them. A little is not good for you.

467
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 6: Well, it got me through college and then I took

468
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 6: myself office.

469
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I took myself off of it after a little while,

470
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 4: but I never really understood it. So I interview a

471
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 4: gajillion psychologist for this book. They explain that part of

472
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 4: my brain and it's just like you talking about putting

473
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 4: on glasses. Holy crap, that's how this works. Okay, Now,

474
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 4: what like, how can I get to work to keep

475
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 4: the systems in check so that the other part of

476
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 4: our brains sofia, which are wildly spontaneous and creative, and

477
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,880
Speaker 4: the reason you've been so successful not only in your

478
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,719
Speaker 4: former acting career but in your ability to express yourself

479
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 4: in this new career. Those things come out now that

480
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 4: you're able to keep the other systems in check and

481
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 4: also keep your emotional flooding in check.

482
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,439
Speaker 1: M h, Well, it's even a thing for me, like

483
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:05,360
Speaker 1: learning the I am so motivated by so many things,

484
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: Like I've had to visualize my career into a couple

485
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 1: of buckets, and then I try to apply my creative

486
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: skills to them instead of feel like I'm just not

487
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 1: quite capable of doing any one thing. It's like, no,

488
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: my superpower is actually that I can focus on a

489
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: bunch of different things and be additive to all of them.

490
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: So I have my day job, I have my film

491
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 1: and television career, and now that I'm also producing things

492
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 1: that I act in, Oh my God, like music to

493
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: a ADHD person's ears. And then I've got this political

494
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 1: bucket of you know, causes big and small that I

495
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 1: love to work on. That's really what led me into

496
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 1: the financial activism for women and working with the first

497
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 1: Women's Bank and running this fund with my best friend,

498
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 1: Like I have figured out how to when those switches

499
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 1: turn on, build system around them that help keep me going,

500
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: because if I try to do it all alone, like

501
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: people whose brains are wired like us, we are not

502
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: lone wolves.

503
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,880
Speaker 2: We are not. That's not for me. I need my humans.

504
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 1: So it's like I produce TV with two of my

505
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 1: best friends now, and I do this financial work with

506
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 1: my best friend whose son is my godson and like

507
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: the literal light of my life. And I have my

508
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,479
Speaker 1: team that I do political work with. And when I

509
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: work in cohort with my humans, it's it's like my

510
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: brain is being stimulated really well all the time. But

511
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,239
Speaker 1: having folks who see time in a linear fashion as

512
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: opposed to a vertical fashion like me, means they can say, like,

513
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,920
Speaker 1: don't get overwhelmed. This is the next task, And I'm like, great,

514
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: if you just tell me what it is, I can

515
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 1: go do it. But if you ask me to pick,

516
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: it's like it's like putting a person without a driver's

517
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: license in one of those Parisian roundabouts, Like.

518
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 2: Good luck, there's nine roads in.

519
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: A certain How in God's name do you expect me

520
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: to know how to navigate this? Like I realize other

521
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 1: people have intersections and I have roundabouts, and that's okay.

522
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 3: I've never heard someone say they the vertical? Is that

523
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 3: how you see time?

524
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 4: I definitely don't see it linear.

525
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 3: I call it time blindness.

526
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 2: Yea, but that, oh big time.

527
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 5: He doesn't And your list, your to do list? He

528
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 5: put forty seven things on a to do list. I'm like,

529
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 5: the laws of space and time still apply to you,

530
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 5: Like you cannot get to all of these things, like

531
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,359
Speaker 5: he he is blind, love you, babe to the amount

532
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 5: of time things will actually take.

533
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 3: But I've never heard somebody say vertical.

534
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 5: And that's such like a cool way to like talk

535
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 5: about the differences, like of course it's a straight line

536
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 5: in front of you, but no, it's not at all

537
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 5: for you.

538
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, and time blindness is so real.

539
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 1: Like this is going to sound wild, but I have

540
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 1: actually so that my brain can understand. Like, if you

541
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: look at my calendar, it's horrible to look at there's

542
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 1: too much going on. But because of that, like if

543
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: I see a blank space in the calendar, I'm gonna

544
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: fill it.

545
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 2: So I have had to even start.

546
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 1: Like when I do a day like today and I

547
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: block podcasts, I will put an eight minute break in

548
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: between the two interviews in my Google calendar. And people

549
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: are like, why are you doing that? Because if I don't,

550
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: I won't pee and I won't eat.

551
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I have to do that.

552
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 1: If I have a meeting and it's not on Zoom,

553
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:34,359
Speaker 1: I put the drive time before and after the meeting

554
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: in my calendar because if I don't, I will think

555
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: I can do something during that time and that's not

556
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 1: physically possible because I can't teleport.

557
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, you need to probably the drive. That is a

558
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 5: good strategy. You need to put drive time in your calendar.

559
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 2: It really helps.

560
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, because hell, the meeting will be at two and

561
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 5: again we live in Rawleigh and we don't live in

562
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 5: LA but it'll be one fifty seven and he'll be like,

563
00:28:59,040 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 5: I got it.

564
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 3: You do not got it.

565
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 2: You don't got it.

566
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 5: You do not gotimes sometimes at it, but I do

567
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 5: know the times you do not got it.

568
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, And what I did, like I don't know if

569
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: you love to color code things, Penn, I do like

570
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 1: I have one color in my calendar, like in the

571
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: drop down of you know, twelve colors you can pick.

572
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: That's just for real time, so like driving a food break, so.

573
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: I know, I'm like, no, no, no, that is real.

574
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 1: Like if it says on my phone it's going to

575
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: take me twenty seven minutes to drive to a meeting.

576
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 1: I put thirty five minutes in the calendar just in case,

577
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: and it's just in there, and I know that it's

578
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: like a way I can push back against my inner adolescent.

579
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 2: That's like I could beat that.

580
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, because my inner thirteen year old

581
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: is combative and I'm forty one and I need to

582
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: be responsible.

583
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 4: So I want to talk to you about that because

584
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 4: that that's been one of the biggest breakthroughs for me

585
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 4: over the last couple of years. And I think that

586
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 4: a lot of adh people struggle with this, and if

587
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 4: they're listening, obviously accepting the fact that easy stuff is

588
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 4: going to be hard for us. That inner thirteen year

589
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 4: old is always combative, right, and sometimes that lasts all

590
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 4: the way until you take your dying breath. Just like

591
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 4: I'm not going to make a calendar. I'm not going

592
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,239
Speaker 4: to make a checklist, mom, I'm not going to make

593
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 4: a list of brush my teeth at the end of

594
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 4: this is for say, like a ten year old kid,

595
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 4: but I do. It makes it easier for me to

596
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 4: accept that the easy stuff is hard for me when

597
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: I remember that our type of brain, a lot of

598
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 4: times the hard stuff is easy for us. So exactly

599
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 4: the other way.

600
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: We'll be back in just a minute. But here's a

601
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: word from our sponsors. Well, and that's the thing is,

602
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: I've had to realize that it's a ratio game and

603
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: everybody has it. And in the way that I can

604
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: remember data political fact, explain to you how an injustice

605
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: here is tied to an injustice here, and it all

606
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: traces back to the nineteen sixties. Because of this, and

607
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: did you know what happened with women in Iceland in

608
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety four when they did the walk out of work?

609
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: And people are like you are like a freaky genius.

610
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, sure, that's my superpower. But I will forget

611
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: to drink water if I carry this. I literally brought

612
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 1: props for today.

613
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 2: I'm friends at home.

614
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 1: This is a big, solid metal water bottle that I'm

615
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 1: showing my lovely guests. If I carry this around, this

616
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: has been full for two days. I won't drink it

617
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: because I can't see it. I don't know how much

618
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: water is in there, and it might as well be

619
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: that could be.

620
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 2: It could be a lamp. Yes, but Mason.

621
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: From Home Goods changed my life because this is thirty

622
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 1: two ounces of water and I've had two of these

623
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: today because I can see it, and if I'm looking

624
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: at it and the water has been at the B

625
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: line for two hours, I know I'm not hydrated.

626
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 3: This is why the magnets work so well.

627
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 5: So he has a magnet he has on top of

628
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 5: his car well because he's a giant and he can

629
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 5: see the top of his car. But it doesn't actually

630
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 5: hold anything. But it's just a visual cueue of don't

631
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 5: put my coffee cup there, because we were losing coffee

632
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 5: cups on the daily because you know, you like just

633
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 5: you're caring.

634
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 2: All set it down and then you forget yeah.

635
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,239
Speaker 5: And there's a there's a magnet on the dryer of

636
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 5: like take my he has to take his inhaler and

637
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 5: chaps to stick out before he's doing lunching like those

638
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 5: like visual cue, extreme solutions smart.

639
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: So part of what really helped me crack that my

640
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 1: brain was wired a little differently because again I think,

641
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 1: especially for women, we we are so good at masking

642
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 1: that we often don't get diagnosed. And you know, and

643
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: I don't say this to be like ooh, amazing, like,

644
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: because one thing I've also learned about ADHD is the

645
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: intense shame spiral.

646
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 2: Like nobody's meaner to me than me, to be clear,

647
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 2: So anyone.

648
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: Who thinks what I'm about to say is like egotistical,

649
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: I'm like check that, check that at the door. But

650
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: the level of intellectual capacity that I have, my love

651
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: of language, eloquence and you know, memory for facts was

652
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: also People were like, you're way too smart to have

653
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 1: a learning disability. But I cannot remember those simple little things.

654
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: I don't know where the car keys go, I don't

655
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: know why I picked up my phone. I'll walk into

656
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 1: a room to do something and it's gone. And something

657
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 1: that actually helped me start to hack it years ago.

658
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 2: I read that book.

659
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 1: Atomic Habits, Yeah, James Clair, And when James Clear started

660
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: talking about habit stacking, I was like, oh, and the

661
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 1: visual queuing. If I fill up a mason jar with

662
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: water and I put it next to the sink on

663
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: my way to bed, like from the kitchen, I leave

664
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: it in the bathroom, I go to bed, then as

665
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,239
Speaker 1: soon as I brush my teeth in the morning, I'll

666
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: drink a jar a water because drinking water is really

667
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 1: hard for me to remember. And that seems so silly,

668
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: but like it has health impacts.

669
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, yeah, like the easy stuff is hard.

670
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:09,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's it.

671
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: And so then it got to be really interesting. And

672
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: that was a clue for my doctor, who was like, oh,

673
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: the visual clues are a that's a key hole for

674
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 1: you to look through. And that was one of the

675
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 1: things that really helped lead us to a diagnosis for me,

676
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: because you know, they have to add up all the

677
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: things and see if it sticks. So how do you decide,

678
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 1: I mean decide or maybe Kim, you said you should

679
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: get checked out for this, Like how did it happen?

680
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 1: How did you start to figure it out?

681
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 6: Well?

682
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 4: I got diagnosed when I was in college, oh, you

683
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 4: said that.

684
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: That's right.

685
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 4: But but it's like I can answer your question because

686
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 4: there were kind of two phases of my ADHD. Phase

687
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 4: one was college. I was on academic probation twice at

688
00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 4: we'll name drop Katie Correct at Katie Couric School a

689
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 4: little bit younger, but like it just didn't work for me,

690
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 4: these big auditoriums where I wasn't in front of the class,

691
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 4: like you know, I'm always one of my biggest hacks

692
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 4: in high school was I sat front and center or

693
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 4: else I would space out. And it's possible in college.

694
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 4: And so I'm starting to think maybe there's something that

695
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 4: I need to I need to talk to a doctor.

696
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 4: And then my grandmother died. I was at her funeral

697
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 4: and the family was all sitting around talking about what

698
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 4: are we gonna do about our beach trip, you know,

699
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,359
Speaker 4: our family beach trip. And I was getting sad and

700
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 4: thinking about that, and my aunt Zell goes pen, this

701
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 4: is a really emotional conversation. I can't concentrate because you're

702
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 4: chewing on a fly swatter right now. So I had

703
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 4: a used fly swatter in my mouth and I was

704
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 4: chewing on it. Wow, And so I'm like there's something

705
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,240
Speaker 4: that needs to get checked out. So that was your habit,

706
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 4: your habit stacking mine was I was chewing on a

707
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 4: fly swatter when talking about a difficult subject in My

708
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 4: psychiatrist was like, that's emotional dysregulation, that's fixation. That's all

709
00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 4: Like he's you've got ADHD. Congratulations, here's this medicine. This

710
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 4: will help you with emotional regulation, This will help you

711
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,919
Speaker 4: with conversations, this will help you with everything. It did

712
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 4: all the things that he said it would do. I

713
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 4: took myself off of it after about a year because

714
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 4: I felt personally like the side of my brain, the

715
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 4: creative side, which really specialized in taking everything in and

716
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 4: not keeping it out, like letting it come into me,

717
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 4: was the reason that I was able to create musically.

718
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 4: So I took myself off. And all of that is

719
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 4: to say I took medicine. I took myself off of it.

720
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 4: I found a job in television where like micro deadlines

721
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 4: really help and they're good for an ADHD person. I

722
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 4: did nothing to put any systems in place. Right when

723
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 4: I first met Kim, I lived in a house that

724
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 4: had one towel, And you want to talk about the towel.

725
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,800
Speaker 5: Well no, it's like, well, you use it, you're clean

726
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 5: when you get out of the tower. It's like self cleaning.

727
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 5: Why would you need more than one towel. I think

728
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 5: that's less ADHD and more just poor hygiene.

729
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 4: Okay, maybe no.

730
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 5: I do think that his ability to kind of his

731
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 5: I think a lot of our success is tied to

732
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 5: the fact that he allows all of the and his

733
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,240
Speaker 5: brain allows him just like you like all these ideas

734
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 5: on everything. Try telling him he can only do one thing,

735
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 5: but that's not going to happen.

736
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 3: And and you have this.

737
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 5: So Penn also has this crazy memory. He can if

738
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 5: he looks at something, he can remember it. And so

739
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 5: ADHD folks, they don't have a lack of attention. They

740
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 5: have an abundance of attention. It just has to be

741
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 5: something they care about. So for you it's your activism

742
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 5: and the politics and the history of it. And for

743
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 5: Penn it's like weird movie quotes and music.

744
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,240
Speaker 4: So it's a lot of it. So that was phase one.

745
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 4: Phase one was college, got through it, managed to somehow

746
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 4: marry a woman way above my way whatever, out kicked

747
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 4: my whatever it was. And then like really the second

748
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 4: phase was when we started a company together and I

749
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 4: was kids and my executive functioning redline. It really did,

750
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 4: like stuff started falling through the cracks. I was leaving

751
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 4: stoves on as I left to drop my kids off

752
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 4: at school, and like almost burning the house down. I

753
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 4: was forgetting he's leaving him in the cars, realizing that

754
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 4: like if you do that, someone could not only break

755
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 4: into your car, they could get into your house. Like

756
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 4: there were there were danger issues with my IDOHG because

757
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 4: I was getting overtaxed. And so that was like I

758
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,399
Speaker 4: think our next step where you were asking if Kim

759
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 4: did something, I think when when we decided to write

760
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 4: this book. I think Kim knew that this was going

761
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,399
Speaker 4: to be a form of therapy for me earn what

762
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 4: was going on in my brain, to understand it, and

763
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 4: that that would empower me to put those systems in

764
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 4: place that you just talked about, those sort of sorts

765
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 4: of a time habits that can help get the most

766
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 4: out of my brain. I just spoke for you.

767
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, yeah, do it. Man's plain away.

768
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 4: That's not like man's plainning.

769
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, help me out.

770
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,240
Speaker 4: With man's planning. I get accused of man's planning.

771
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 6: Sometimes I don't know it as a joke because you okay, good,

772
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 6: You're good.

773
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 2: Well.

774
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: One of the things I've learned too about the way

775
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 1: our brains work is that it often comes with a

776
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: desire to over explain, to make sure that other people

777
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,359
Speaker 1: understand what's going on in our brains, where you're like, no, no,

778
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 1: I get it, Like I know I'm the odd man out,

779
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 1: but I'm also.

780
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 2: In on it. So let me tell you this thing.

781
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: And I feel so lucky that you know, some of

782
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: my best friends have been on this journey with me.

783
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: Every so often we'll look at me and go, I

784
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 1: must stop you there, I get it, I'm with you,

785
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, I'm going to stop talking because

786
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: I'm just still talking. It's yeah, I'm like, I just

787
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:57,959
Speaker 1: want to make sure we're on the same page, because

788
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 1: I know I'm always on another page and people are like, you're.

789
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 3: Fine, has calmed down, You're good.

790
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 1: But I find it funny on that topic, like I

791
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: love watching the way you guys banter together and talk

792
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: about this, And also that you knew that this would

793
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: be good for both of you writing this book, because Kim,

794
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 1: You've said that so many of the things that you

795
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 1: were initially and are attracted to about Penn were because

796
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: of his ADHD. So like as a neurotypical partner of

797
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: a neurospicy human, like, what is what's your perspective? Like

798
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 1: what do you think those positive qualities are? And how

799
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 1: do you work around the fact that you're human is

800
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 1: wired differently than you?

801
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 3: Great question.

802
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean he's spontaneous and hilarious and he was

803
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 5: interested in so many things which made him interesting to me.

804
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 5: So like all of those things, sign me up. And yeah,

805
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 5: when there was like we had two kids and people

806
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 5: would joke, oh, it's like you have three kids, I'm like,

807
00:40:56,480 --> 00:41:00,879
Speaker 5: that isn't actually not funny, not at all. He's he's

808
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 5: a very good partner, I will say I in doing

809
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 5: the research, this took us five years, and doing the research,

810
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 5: I think the most impactful thing I learned was about

811
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 5: the adh deer's working memory. So I used to get

812
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 5: very deeply offended when you know, we went on vacation

813
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 5: one time and we were all kind of sitting all

814
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 5: over the plane. It was at carry on suitcase situation.

815
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 5: We get off the plane in Florida and he didn't

816
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 5: have a suitcase he's like, Babe, I just left it

817
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 5: in the boarding area I have I have no idea

818
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 5: where I put it. So like things like that would happen.

819
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 5: We would find the milk in the pantry and the

820
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 5: keys and wherever, and I'd get offended and really.

821
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 4: Pissed off, right so rightfully.

822
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 5: So I learned that the adhders like things aren't stored

823
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 5: in your working memory the same they are in mine.

824
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 5: So he walks in the door and one shoe goes

825
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 5: here he sees food because he wants food now, and

826
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 5: that's the priority.

827
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 3: The other shoe goes I don't know the key in

828
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 3: the pantry.

829
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 5: The keys get left in the refrigerator because he's taking

830
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 5: like the rotisserie chicken out to like eat it. And

831
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 5: one time I walk downstairs and there was like a

832
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 5: rotisserie chicken carcass on the counter and his pants were

833
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 5: on the ground, and I'm like, I'm just trying to,

834
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 5: like CSI recreate what happened last night, and he's like,

835
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 5: I'm done with my pants, I'll take them off and

836
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 5: leave them here. But none of that entered his working memory,

837
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 5: so he has no memory of leaving the keys in

838
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 5: the fridge, like it doesn't exist in his memory because

839
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 5: so he can remember all these really big hard things,

840
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 5: but not where he put his keys.

841
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 3: See, when I learned that there.

842
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 5: Was actual science to back that up, I could offer grace,

843
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 5: and so I deal with some anxiety and OZD. So

844
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 5: he offers me grace around that. But when it comes

845
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 5: to him not being able to find his inhaler for

846
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 5: the day, like it's an explanation, not an excuse, I

847
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 5: don't like run and jump in and act as his

848
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 5: executive funk all the time, but I could offer grace

849
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 5: around the situation because I just understand it more.

850
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny.

851
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 1: It's like I think people can who can make space

852
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 1: for each other in that way probably really level up

853
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: as a duo. Like you start to do that thing

854
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: where the unit is greater than the sum of its parts.

855
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 1: And I find that to be really inspiring. And it

856
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: also makes me think, like I actually think maybe this

857
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: is just because I've been rewatching the West Wing. I'm like, God,

858
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: people with ADHD would probably make such great like presidents

859
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: because they could be in charge of all the big

860
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 1: thoughts and then they'd have like all the chiefs of

861
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: staff like handing them the things they'd leave behind them otherwise.

862
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I'm like, maybe Martin Sheen.

863
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 4: Had ADHD, didn't have ADHD.

864
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: She has to write and like, yeah, he's he's so freaky,

865
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: like freakishly smart that he must That's what it is.

866
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 2: That's obviously what it is.

867
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 3: Let's diagnose them.

868
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 1: It's yeah, okay, great, And now a word from our

869
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 1: sponsors who make this show possible. I find it really

870
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,839
Speaker 1: fascinating too, because like, y'all have to figure out how

871
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 1: to navigate this stuff together. And I love that you

872
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 1: frame it as being awesome, as being kind of a superpower,

873
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 1: because I actually think it is, you know, and when

874
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: we realize that for us as adults we're figuring this out.

875
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 1: I also know thanks to you guys, that you know,

876
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: more than one in ten children in the US are

877
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: being diagnosed with ADHD, and I know your son has ADHD.

878
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: So I'm really curious what the experience is like for

879
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 1: you guys as a family to help him hack this

880
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 1: stuff earlier, to maybe not have to do a round

881
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: two as like a husband, to figure out in your

882
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 1: adult life how to manage it, but to grow up

883
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: with tools and because you're helping him grow up with

884
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 1: the tools that you perhaps didn't have. How it makes

885
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: you look at like the school system and what he

886
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: needs not just in your house but outside of your house.

887
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 4: Well, starting just with him. I think it's really weird.

888
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 4: Very early on, when I suspected that he had ADHD,

889
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 4: I fell into a trap. I don't know, like maybe

890
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 4: I need to go see a therapist about this of

891
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 4: being like not wanting him to do what it was

892
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 4: that I did, because this was before I went down

893
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 4: this journey five years ago, like, oh, he may have

894
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 4: this brain like, dude, stop chewing on your shirt. It's

895
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,439
Speaker 4: like it because I have this thing where I would

896
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:50,320
Speaker 4: chew on it was apparently an ADHD esque thing because

897
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 4: of your fidgetiness. When I'm concentrating, concentrating, I chew on

898
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 4: my shirt and get like.

899
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 6: A huge when he was a yes, and I'd never

900
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 6: seen cheek yeah okay yeah, And so I see my

901
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 6: son doing it, I'm like, dude, I stop.

902
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 4: And then you know, I realized many years later that

903
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 4: that's not that's not a bad things. It's our way

904
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 4: of releasing some nervous energy. It's also a way to

905
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 4: stave off distraction and stay focused on something, and so

906
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 4: all of these things, like you know, he still did

907
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 4: it after I learned this, all of these things that

908
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 4: I learned as a parent about like the right way

909
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 4: not to punish someone for the way that their brain is.

910
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 4: That'll help out a little bit. We've been very open

911
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 4: in all of this book studying, and we've written a

912
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 4: book that we think is readable by a fourteen year

913
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 4: old kid, maybe even a ten year old kid. We

914
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 4: have eight year old who reading the book because we

915
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 4: put a bunch of color and a lot of graphics

916
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 4: and a lot of brain breaks into it. Having said that,

917
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 4: I know that there's going to be some times that

918
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 4: he struggles, and I know he's going to be guilty

919
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 4: of being his own worst critic, like you said not

920
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 4: too long ago. So those are the things really trying

921
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 4: to keep in check, right.

922
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 5: I will say that when we were in the office

923
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 5: and got his official diagnosis, we were already doing the

924
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 5: research for this book. So I'm already thinking, yeah, ADHD

925
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 5: has many downsides. It can totally suck. But I was like, no,

926
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 5: it's awesome. We're gonna we're gonna reframe this. But I

927
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 5: got the diagnosis and it came to us as if

928
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 5: it was like this really hard medical diagnosis and we

929
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 5: left the office kind of bummed out and sad, and

930
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:34,399
Speaker 5: like when you're thinking, oh my gosh, my son's life

931
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 5: is going to be hard, like what is going to

932
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 5: be This is going to be a struggle for him.

933
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:43,240
Speaker 5: And we really had actively as a family re train

934
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 5: and reframe our brains even though we were already living

935
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 5: it and already already doing that work. But this shame spiral,

936
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:55,760
Speaker 5: I like, my heart breaks when he starts to feel

937
00:47:55,800 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 5: that shame. So like, yeah, something that was taught to

938
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 5: me and we learned is to offer connection instead of correction.

939
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:08,280
Speaker 5: So he's a brilliant kid. He would do his homework

940
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 5: but not turn it in yep, And I would get

941
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 5: pissed off and I'd be like why you know, and

942
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 5: I'd snap and he off, Like the shame spire would start.

943
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 5: Now it's hey, that must be really frustrating to have

944
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:24,840
Speaker 5: done all that work and now you're not going to

945
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 5: get credit.

946
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 3: What do you think we can do?

947
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 5: Like, I've offered connection and our relationship has totally softened

948
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,400
Speaker 5: because he feels safe with me to be like mom,

949
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 5: can you believe it? He'll call me from school like, Mom,

950
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 5: I forgot my lunch again today. I'm like, I got

951
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 5: you buddy, Like he feels safe to talk to me

952
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 5: about these missteps.

953
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, instead of trying to hide them.

954
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 3: Instead of trying to hide them. Yeah.

955
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,520
Speaker 4: And there's two ways the spiral can go right, like

956
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 4: the downward spiral. You mess up, your parent or your

957
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 4: loved one gets mad at you. You get ashamed. You

958
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 4: mess up again, you're already feeling bad about yourself, you know,

959
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,280
Speaker 4: get more ashamed and more ashamed than it's all downhill

960
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 4: if you. If you mess up and someone gives you

961
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 4: grace and gives you encouragement, then you're much more likely

962
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 4: to work hard to keep it from happening again and

963
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 4: things start improving. Yeah, and that's a way better spiral.

964
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And by the way, that's true for everyone, no

965
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:20,840
Speaker 2: matter how you're wired.

966
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 4: That's true.

967
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: But the idea that you could offer someone, hey, that's okay,

968
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: what if we did this instead of what are you doing?

969
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, nobody.

970
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,879
Speaker 1: Likes likes option B, but we don't. We certainly don't

971
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 1: handle it well because we internalize it. And that's another thing,

972
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 1: Like I just sort of always assumed everybody felt this way,

973
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 1: and I think it certainly made me resilient because I

974
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: was like, well, better get on with it, Like I've

975
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: got shit to do.

976
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 2: You know, I'm gonna go make.

977
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: A TV show, in a movie and a thing, you

978
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 1: know whatever. Like I've done so many things that I'm

979
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 1: so proud of.

980
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:02,720
Speaker 2: And like, oh, maybe I didn't need to white knuckle

981
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:03,479
Speaker 2: through all of.

982
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 1: That so hard. Like I probably could have done just

983
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 1: as much cool shit without feeling like I was on

984
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 1: the receiving end of a like a fire.

985
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 2: Hose most of the time.

986
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 4: But you still have so much more of your life

987
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,359
Speaker 4: to enjoy without the well.

988
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,879
Speaker 1: And that's it, and that's absolutely it, and that's why

989
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,320
Speaker 1: I think, like, you know, the book is so exciting.

990
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: I think it's so cool that not only you know,

991
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: did you guys as a family unit choose this as

992
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 1: an undertaking, but you know, you did what you do

993
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 1: with so much of your work and your profile and

994
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: your platform in general, which is welcome us into it

995
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 1: and like offer things to others. I find it to

996
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 1: be so incredibly generous. So bless bless our Saint of

997
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,439
Speaker 1: Katie Kirk for bringing us together here on.

998
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 2: This podcast today.

999
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 1: I would love to ask you my favorite question to

1000
00:50:56,880 --> 00:51:02,760
Speaker 1: ask everybody, which is whether it's personal, professional, big small.

1001
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,879
Speaker 1: From where you sit today, what feels like your work

1002
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 1: in progress?

1003
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 4: You go listening, I want to be a better listener.

1004
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 4: I have this brain. It is a wonderful brain. It

1005
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 4: is constant. So my brain is the neurotypical brain is

1006
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 4: like a VIP party with like a bouncer and one

1007
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 4: of those velvet ropes, and it knows how to keep

1008
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 4: out things, let in certain things at certain times. My

1009
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 4: brain is Coachella. It's an open air party. You can

1010
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 4: feel the wind and the rain lightening, and everyone's invited

1011
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 4: and it is a wonderful place to be. So really,

1012
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 4: most of my time when I'm awake, I am bouncing

1013
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 4: from fascinating possibility to fascinating possibility. Ding ding ding. Yeah.

1014
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 4: I think about space and asteroid mining in the universe

1015
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 4: at least six times a day, and it's my favorite

1016
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 4: times in the day. Sometimes it happens when someone's trying

1017
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 4: to tell me something really important. Yeah, and I and

1018
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 4: so I know that I have to work on it.

1019
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:08,280
Speaker 4: And I also know that all of these wonderful things

1020
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 4: that I'm thinking of are great and they're the reason

1021
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 4: for creativity in my job, but I could really enrich

1022
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 4: my life if I knew more about the people around me.

1023
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 4: So I should just like, it's not that I'm talking.

1024
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 4: I should shut my brain up every once in a

1025
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 4: while and really work hard at trying to listen more

1026
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 4: and learn more, because is really the best part of

1027
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 4: the world are the other people that are in it,

1028
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 4: not asteroids.

1029
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:32,879
Speaker 2: That's cool, but.

1030
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 3: You really did circle babe five five.

1031
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 2: You're in the state of flight and you landed the plane.

1032
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 4: It's you know, people with ADHD, they can be like

1033
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 4: about to land. Yeah, they just.

1034
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 5: My work in progress so much. I mean, I've found

1035
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 5: a new therapists, so there's a lot of what I'm

1036
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 5: working on. But my assignment from my new therapist is

1037
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 5: I'm going to not I have this habit of I

1038
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 5: say it's fine, it's fine, everything's fine when it's not fine.

1039
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 5: So I'm trying to label and name emotions. I'm feeling like,

1040
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 5: I'm happy and excited, grateful to meet you and other Yeah,

1041
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 5: I'm trying to name that.

1042
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 3: So that's what I'm working on.

1043
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 4: I love that sures.

1044
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, you know, it's interesting that you say the

1045
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: thing about listening, because listening is one of my favorite

1046
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 1: things to do, and I think because of my job,

1047
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: like I find artistry in really being present and having

1048
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: an emotional reaction to the unexpected thing I hear. I

1049
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:44,520
Speaker 1: don't struggle so much with like a random topic distraction

1050
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 1: though I literally have like a symbol from the Golden

1051
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 1: Record tattooed on my arms. So if you want to

1052
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 1: talk about space obsessions, we're going to.

1053
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 4: Have a follow up, let's say we'll go off one.

1054
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:57,879
Speaker 1: But but what I have is hard time with which

1055
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: now I understand to be like part of this sort

1056
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 1: of neuro wiring is if you say something and I

1057
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 1: have something to share, which that for me, fosters connection.

1058
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 2: I don't want to interrupt.

1059
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 1: But I really, really really want to tell you the

1060
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,919
Speaker 1: thing that you made me think of because of your

1061
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: great story, because to me, that's like real connection.

1062
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 2: But you're not done.

1063
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 1: Talking, and so to be able to take a deep

1064
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 1: breath and wait and be okay with risking that by

1065
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 1: the time you finish your story, I'm probably not going

1066
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 1: to remember this thing. I'm so excited to tell you

1067
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 1: because you'll have made me think of something else, Like

1068
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: that's really okay. What I'm excited to tell you, it

1069
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 1: can be a blip or it can be a thing

1070
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 1: that gets said, And like, honestly, either outcome is probably

1071
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 1: not going to change your life, and it's probably not

1072
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 1: going to change mine either. Like it's all right. And

1073
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 1: I have had to learn that my love of connecting

1074
00:54:56,239 --> 00:55:01,920
Speaker 1: with people does not need to supersede the normal cadence

1075
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 1: of conversation. Because when I do that, and when I

1076
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 1: get into like a very neurospicy like yeah, yeah, and

1077
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 1: do you know or I heard this thing or I

1078
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 1: read this article in the Atlanta last week and you're

1079
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: really gonna like it, people are like, what.

1080
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,040
Speaker 2: The fuck is wrong with her? You know?

1081
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 1: And and it's I just have to like take a breath,

1082
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 1: and it's all good. We're already here, we're already talking.

1083
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:30,320
Speaker 1: I don't have to prove anything. We're fine.

1084
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,839
Speaker 4: Well, without even meaning to, You've really helped me out

1085
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 4: there by explaining that because I'm guilty of the same thing.

1086
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 3: For sure.

1087
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 5: He heard whatever space tattoo and he's like, oh my gosh,

1088
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 5: I have to tell her about Yeah, he.

1089
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 4: Read Kim knows what I'm about to do it at

1090
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 4: dinner and she just jams.

1091
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 3: It's just.

1092
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 5: A couple because I find interrupting people incredibly.

1093
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 3: I just find it.

1094
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 5: In some cases, sometimes it's a fun continuation, like kind

1095
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:58,319
Speaker 5: of kinetic energy. I love that too. But sometimes I'm like,

1096
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 5: we're just we're just meeting these people.

1097
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:06,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, just wait, Yeah, that's It's like I've trained enough

1098
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 1: puppies through the course of my life to know that

1099
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,439
Speaker 1: when you say something and I want to tell you why,

1100
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 1: I know something about that, or basically say, oh my gosh,

1101
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 1: me too, Like that's like the excited puppy. That's like

1102
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 1: sitting there begging for a treat, and it's like you

1103
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,920
Speaker 1: just have to wait your turn, small end, and like

1104
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:28,239
Speaker 1: being able to kind of for me at least a

1105
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: sign a metaphorical identity to my puppy response and also

1106
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: to my like rebellious, sassy thirteen year old that the

1107
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: minute it hits ten thirty one pm, and I was

1108
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 1: ready for bed at ten twenty six, but ten thirty

1109
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:46,479
Speaker 1: is my teenage witching hour, and I'm like, nobody can make.

1110
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 2: Me go to bed.

1111
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,360
Speaker 1: I'm going to watch a whole show till five o'clock

1112
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 1: in the morning. Like I can't let her drive the car.

1113
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 1: She needs to be put to sleep.

1114
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 3: She needs go to bed, like.

1115
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 1: I have to put I me adult Sophia has to

1116
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 1: you forcibly put thirteen year old me to bed every

1117
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 1: single night, every night.

1118
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean by my my trainer Kim has to

1119
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 4: shock Coller me under the table talking that puppy metaphor

1120
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 4: was actually hit for you.

1121
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And like if you think of it, if

1122
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 1: you think of that thing in you as like a

1123
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 1: sweet little puppy, it's adorable and you can have, like

1124
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: at least for me.

1125
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 2: I won't generalize. I can have. I can have.

1126
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,560
Speaker 1: Empathy for it. And I think being in healthy partnership

1127
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:32,360
Speaker 1: does it too. Like the number of times a day

1128
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: my partner will grab me by the face and be

1129
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 1: like you sweet little adhd baby, like I love how

1130
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 1: quirky you are, and just kiss me. And I'm like, okay,

1131
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:46,080
Speaker 1: I know I'm so weird. And she's like, you're my

1132
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: favorite kind of weird. I'm like, okay, all right, all right,

1133
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 1: well look at that, like there really is a shoe

1134
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: for every foot, and like you need your yours to

1135
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 1: like jab you under the table to calm you down,

1136
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 1: and that's okay, that's love.

1137
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 5: Actually, him, my human gold and retriever though, because he

1138
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 5: is very excitable and he'll probably lick you. No, I'm kidding,

1139
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 5: but he will, yeah.

1140
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 2: Energetically.

1141
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 4: And metaphorically, not right on the face. Yeah, like this

1142
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 4: is we're coming to a really weird landing. It's the

1143
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:20,800
Speaker 4: kind of landing I like to get back.

1144
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 5: I like the world would be without these spicy brains.

1145
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, you just did something for me.

1146
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 1: I didn't interrupt earlier when I really wanted to, and

1147
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 1: I didn't because, first of all, I figured you'd read it,

1148
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 1: but you reminded me how boring the world would be.

1149
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 2: When we were talking.

1150
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 1: About the stats around diagnosis, it made me think. I

1151
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 1: think it was maybe last month. I don't know if

1152
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: it was the New York Times or Popular Science or whatever,

1153
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: but an article hit about how scientists now think that

1154
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 1: ADHD was an evolutionary change, like a superpower for hunter

1155
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 1: gatherers to survive, and.

1156
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 2: I was like, see, we are humans. I got very excited.

1157
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 2: So you know, the world does need us, or maybe

1158
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 2: we would all starve.

1159
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 5: We're probably here today because of some ADHD people who

1160
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 5: are like, I see those berries, those look kind of weird.

1161
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna eat those. I'm gonna go over here.

1162
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, so thanks guys.

1163
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 1: You know you're welcome. Guys, thank you so much for

1164
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 1: joining me today. This has been so much fun. Next

1165
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 1: time I'm in North Carolina, we all got to get

1166
00:59:28,160 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 1: a meal.

1167
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 3: I would love that.

1168
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 2: I would love that

1169
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 4: Assass