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Speaker 1: Guess what decision We're about to make a horrible decisions. Hey, guys, welcome,

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Speaker 1: and when I say welcome, the emphasis is on come

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Speaker 1: to horrible decisions, baby. And I'm really excited because we

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Speaker 1: have a guest and we've been wanting to have on

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Speaker 1: that a lot of you have since in But before

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Speaker 1: we get to him, let me tell y'all who a bitches,

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Speaker 1: because I'm that bitch. I'm your girl, Mandy b aka

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Speaker 1: Panti Starian aka Pull Corporums aka Debt Beach. Hi, I'm wheezy.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. We're here shooting

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Speaker 1: in New York. You know, we've been virtual, we've been

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Speaker 1: in LA, we've been in the base years, We've been

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Speaker 1: doing a lot. So finally we're back in the city

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Speaker 1: and we're sitting next to a man that I know

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Speaker 1: from one clip who was the interviewer? Was that the

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Speaker 1: super duper humble gum who we actually had on who

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Speaker 1: really your clip to me made that damn? I feel

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Speaker 1: like everybody found him from that clip, so it was

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Speaker 1: so cool to see the guy behind the clip. Everybody

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Speaker 1: everybody literally tagged you. And we'll get into also that

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Speaker 1: clip later. Don't even want to share what it is. Right, No, listen, wait,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean? Don't share what it now? Because

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Speaker 1: it's not read the outline. I got the outline. We

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Speaker 1: don't even not. I don't want to get into it,

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Speaker 1: but I want to know how New York was. Let

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Speaker 1: me let me we have the naked trumpeter in the building, y'all,

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Speaker 1: we have the naked trumpeter. A ka Eli. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: go We're gonna go back and forth with it. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna go back and forth with it because you got

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Speaker 1: clothes on today. That's what you say. I mean if

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Speaker 1: you call me naked trumpter, I mean I can get

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Speaker 1: it addressed. But I don't know. Okay, So we got Eli, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. We could closet this on YouTube if

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Speaker 1: you don't have you have a short time, he said,

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Speaker 1: I'm free, Wenna, go for nipple. I am, but anyway,

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Speaker 1: I'm calling um. So before I guess we start and

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Speaker 1: get into it. How has New York been treating you?

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Speaker 1: It's good, Listen, New York always treats me lovely. It's

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Speaker 1: a great place to be. Why what's so good about it?

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Speaker 1: How I treat you lately? It's about the physical touch

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Speaker 1: moment we made you stop saying you know. So what

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Speaker 1: I find is like so you all know how you look,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes you get to be objectified for you have

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Speaker 1: a large this or you have a small that. So

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Speaker 1: last night I just was able to touch someone everywhere

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Speaker 1: on their body and kind of like the love handles,

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Speaker 1: the footpa, the back of the caps, the back of

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Speaker 1: the knee, of the feet, um, like the turkey wings,

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Speaker 1: all the parts that most people just like when you're flying.

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Speaker 1: But it doesn't matter how how big or small you are.

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Speaker 1: But as far as touch, most people touch where it

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Speaker 1: touch you where it's as you're right. So when someone

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Speaker 1: touches your entire body, it's a somatic experience. So it

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Speaker 1: brings you out of your head and then you have

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Speaker 1: to think about you don't always want to be ejectified.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to be oh, I have a big ass,

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Speaker 1: to just touch me. There. So a lot of times

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Speaker 1: when people interact each other only touching certain spots. So

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Speaker 1: when someone touches you in the place that you may

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Speaker 1: be uncomfortable, if they do it in a way that

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Speaker 1: you can tell like this motherfucker likes this, it makes

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Speaker 1: you feel away. Wow. Well, what's crazy too is the

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Speaker 1: things that you do sexually don't always involve penetration, hands

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Speaker 1: or twoys at all. The naked trumpeter, You actually really

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Speaker 1: play the trumpet? Yeah, I actually have it. You have

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Speaker 1: the trumpet. I would I would, I ain't gonna hold you.

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Speaker 1: I would tell you to grab the trumpet. The problem is,

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Speaker 1: I've seen where you have placed that trumpet, and so

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about that more than one. That's

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Speaker 1: why I'm like, yes, this is my personal home, but

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Speaker 1: I claim the trumpet in the case, sir, I do

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Speaker 1: want to know. So you play the trumpet, and you

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Speaker 1: play the trumpet on It's not like you just played

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Speaker 1: at a club, right, you play the trumpet on other things.

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Speaker 1: Can you please share the first time you pulled the

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Speaker 1: trumpet out in a sexual place in what you do

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Speaker 1: with your trumpet? And why? So listen? Um? The funny

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Speaker 1: to tell the story this way. Yeah, the contextually it

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Speaker 1: wasn't my idea, It wasn't. Oh. I was talking to

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Speaker 1: my mother and my mother is a dom she's uh

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Speaker 1: in the sex work. Um, so she was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: have you ever thought about putting trumpet on the ladies?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, no, while I do that. And

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Speaker 1: she was like, well, is there anything that you do

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Speaker 1: as a trumpet player that enhances you sexually? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, a lot of stuff. And she was like, well,

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Speaker 1: put the trumpet there and let me know how I go.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, all right, I'll do that. She's

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Speaker 1: a musician too, No, she's no. I mean she she

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Speaker 1: played violin, she played piano, but she's not actively a

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Speaker 1: musician at this point. And so I did it in

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Speaker 1: a session and I was like, and I asked her.

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Speaker 1: She like, she's like, I felt like a vibrator. But

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Speaker 1: it was just different. And so musically, when you give

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Speaker 1: give someone the sound by certain frequencies actually responding to

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Speaker 1: your body a certain way. So when I put it

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Speaker 1: over your evolva, it is the equivalent of a vibrator.

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Speaker 1: Do you consider it a sound? Bet? It is um

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Speaker 1: Even when I played trumpet for myself from tuning my

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Speaker 1: body with the music, like saying, oh you chant, you're

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Speaker 1: tuning yourself, but imagining me doing like this, it's the

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Speaker 1: same thing. It's a vibrator. So well, I turned my

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Speaker 1: mouth into a vibrator. I turned the trump into a vibrator.

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Speaker 1: If you like vibration. You're gonna enjoy what song gives

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Speaker 1: the best response on the pussy It's not really a song,

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Speaker 1: it's more of a tonguey emotion. Well, he thought you

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Speaker 1: were playing America's a beautiful No, I said that what

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Speaker 1: it was just there? It was actually Daniel Sear Get You.

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Speaker 1: That's that's what I was playing. That's what I was

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Speaker 1: actually playing. You know what's crazy? That is like one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite records too, fuck Too of all time.

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Speaker 1: I had to do a sex playlist and Get You

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Speaker 1: by Daniel Ceesar, even though I know people try to

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Speaker 1: cancel him. Is one of those people trying to cancel.

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Speaker 1: He was because he talked about something about black woman.

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Speaker 1: He was sticking up for somebody online. But he's canceled.

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Speaker 1: Like nobody folks with Daniel Cesar anymore, and it sucks.

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Speaker 1: But I really liked that song. I like everything he does.

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Speaker 1: And I told you no one's really canceled. Just sh now.

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Speaker 1: He's some good ship. His music is really fun. Just

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Speaker 1: get canceled. I gotta get back into you. Get a

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Speaker 1: Twitter went on yours and that was a really fun hole.

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Speaker 1: I fell in for thirty minutes. Wow, you spent thirty minutes.

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Speaker 1: I was I was on the phone with someone I'm dating,

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Speaker 1: and I was, I just only new your clips. I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to look, and you know, we always check

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Speaker 1: out our guest for an episode. I was like, damn,

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Speaker 1: this trumpet shit is crazy. And then I kept going

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Speaker 1: and going, and I think that you had probably the

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Speaker 1: widest range of like hitting everything in sex work on

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Speaker 1: a Twitter that you possibly have as a man. Yeah. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I don't know your program, no, no. If you do

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Speaker 1: have that, if they them. But for me, it's like

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Speaker 1: I tell people I don't I don't have a persona.

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Speaker 1: It's like the neket trumpeter is just I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: that I'm a newdist that plays trumpet. Listen, because you

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Speaker 1: do have somewhere you literally are just standing naked playing

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Speaker 1: your trumpet too, and there's not another person involved in

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Speaker 1: the video, not at all? Right, and what you like?

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Speaker 1: So you said, um, get you was one of your

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Speaker 1: favorite songs have sex too? Yeah, think about it this way.

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Speaker 1: Attention is something that we all see being humanized. So

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Speaker 1: if I'm giving you eye contact and I'm playing a

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Speaker 1: song for you, and you recognize the time it took

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Speaker 1: for me to actually do that. You recognize the planning

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Speaker 1: that it took, the execution. So it's intensive. It's being

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Speaker 1: attentive in your everyday life. Even if you're dating somebody,

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Speaker 1: deal on somebody. How often is someone actually planning and

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Speaker 1: executing something for you where you all you have to

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Speaker 1: do a show up, right, So in my sessions, that's

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Speaker 1: what it is. That's basically what it is. It's a conversation.

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Speaker 1: What are you like? What are your yeses, your nose,

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Speaker 1: what are your fantasies? What things actually turn you on?

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Speaker 1: And half of them aren't sexual. It's like most of

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Speaker 1: the time when you think about do you find that

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Speaker 1: that takes more effort? No, if they're non sexualized. No,

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Speaker 1: it feels like sex could be easier. I feel like

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Speaker 1: in sex work, like if I had to do girlfriend

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Speaker 1: experience type shit, I feel like I'd be more stressed

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Speaker 1: out than just having to have sex. At the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, you want to be humanized, you know,

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Speaker 1: sex is is secondary. Connection is the first thing that's

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Speaker 1: night needed. So let's say if I wanted to take

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Speaker 1: both y'all on it the date, I have to convince

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Speaker 1: you that I see you as a human. You're used

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Speaker 1: to somebody like, oh, she got a fat us, so

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Speaker 1: like you, she knows what she's like. You know what

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Speaker 1: you look like. You know, oh I got this in this.

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Speaker 1: So if I tell you that, you're like, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: know I don't look like I put on his outfit.

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Speaker 1: I put on the makeup, the ear rings. So when

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Speaker 1: you're able to see somebody's human, it's as their character,

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Speaker 1: it's not what they look like. And so for me,

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Speaker 1: regardless of what we're doing, when I do that with you,

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Speaker 1: you're open to everything. The way you get to have

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Speaker 1: sex on the first date is seeing someone as a human,

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Speaker 1: not seeing them as anything beyond that, not objectifying them,

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Speaker 1: but making them feel felt and seen and heard. And

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Speaker 1: when you could do that, everything that you could think

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Speaker 1: that you possibly want to do, you're open to. I

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Speaker 1: think that's a very mature way to view it, only because,

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Speaker 1: like I do think now, in dating, everything is so

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Speaker 1: instant that I don't think that many people do humanize

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Speaker 1: the people they date. They objectify first, they look, they

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Speaker 1: look first, right, so they go after what either makes

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Speaker 1: their dick hard or what makes as a woman, what

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Speaker 1: makes them wet. Like I think we are still very

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Speaker 1: visual creatures and I think because of social media and

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Speaker 1: because of technology, it's removed people from knowing how to

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Speaker 1: communicate like just humanly. And look, first, I'll say, even

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Speaker 1: with my ex, like the best thing that I think

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Speaker 1: that made him number one in our sex was actually

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Speaker 1: how he used to stretch me after that was something

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Speaker 1: that I had never really gotten from another part of partner,

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Speaker 1: like someone really taking care of I know, I just

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Speaker 1: fuck the god shit out of you. Let me make

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Speaker 1: sure that you can still move during the day, so

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Speaker 1: let me open up your hips more, let me make

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Speaker 1: sure your back isn't hurt. Because but you know, what

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Speaker 1: I mean of someone seeing you as a human is

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Speaker 1: a form of somebody be in intensive right. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's what I'm saying. For the most part, I

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Speaker 1: don't think men are that thoughtful. So I think how

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Speaker 1: you said, the experience that you had with someone where

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Speaker 1: you where you gave, you know, intimacy to every part

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Speaker 1: of their body. A lot of women don't get that treatment.

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Speaker 1: And you know that because that's why that was very

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Speaker 1: special to that person to even be able to feel that.

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Speaker 1: I love the think about it. Think about this, if

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Speaker 1: your only value is the food that you can cook

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Speaker 1: in your body. That means I only like you for

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Speaker 1: two things, has nothing to do with you as a human.

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Speaker 1: If the only time I call you is when I

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Speaker 1: want to get inside of your body, you recognize what

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Speaker 1: that is? When when having sessions? Do you ever have

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Speaker 1: virtual sessions that turn into non sexual and when they

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Speaker 1: are virtual? What does that look like? Because in person,

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Speaker 1: it's really easy to give um, you know, show intimacy

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Speaker 1: in ways that may not be like touching genitalia? But

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Speaker 1: what about when they're virtual sessions? Are we touching right now?

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Speaker 1: Don't try to fuck me with y'all, I'm asking you

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Speaker 1: a question. I'm being serious. Are seriously are we touching

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Speaker 1: right now? No? How do you feel about the conversation

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Speaker 1: so far? I mean, I'm enjoying the conversation, but it's

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Speaker 1: a genre that I like to speak about. That's neither

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Speaker 1: here nor there. I'm just saying, how do you feel

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Speaker 1: about the conversation. I'm being serious, the conversation with all

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Speaker 1: three of us. I feel splendid about it right No

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Speaker 1: one else in the roomat as I'm talking to you,

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Speaker 1: I know, but I'm saying, like, Oh, I like I

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Speaker 1: like I like the redness of your cheeks, look, oh

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Speaker 1: yeah you are. You are getting a little frizzly, bitch.

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Speaker 1: Don't get friends. Okay, all right, I was asking something

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Speaker 1: really specific, and I'm asking that because one of the

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Speaker 1: only things that I've ever heard of dom or someone

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Speaker 1: that has sessions virtually do was ignored sessions. And I

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Speaker 1: thought it was so crazy. It was Carmen life. Lisa

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Speaker 1: Spliff said, we've had her on the years and years ago,

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Speaker 1: but when she talked about that, she was like, people

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Speaker 1: loved it. People felt like I really catered to their

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Speaker 1: needs by that. And it's ironic because you're being ignored.

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Speaker 1: I have a question, what do you like to be called?

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Speaker 1: My name like wheezy outside of that, like a pet name,

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Speaker 1: anything that you like to be called? Um Gilo, which

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Speaker 1: is my first name. But how do you like to

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Speaker 1: be touched? Uh? It depends? Okay, if you saw it

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Speaker 1: could be hard, Like I vary, tell me something I

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Speaker 1: can't guess about you, Mmm, something you couldn't guess. I'm introverted.

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Speaker 1: I believe I was gonna say she can't eat baked

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Speaker 1: mac and cheese. You ain't know that did a lot

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Speaker 1: of black people are lacked pose man. She alerted to Hey,

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Speaker 1: difficult bits to go out to eat with baby act.

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Speaker 1: You wouldn't have known that it's actually easy. Quality with

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Speaker 1: somebody you find you're interacting is so go back to humanists.

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Speaker 1: You figure out what the person likes, they don't like.

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Speaker 1: You don't do things they don't like. You do things

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Speaker 1: that they're interested in that you mutually enjoy, and you

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Speaker 1: figure out their their blueprint. And if it's difficult, shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be hanging with the motherfucker. I'm gonna be real. You

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Speaker 1: ever find that sometimes people have like very simple yeses

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Speaker 1: and nose and you feel like they're the biggest thing

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Speaker 1: in the world. That's somebody you really can't be hanging with.

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Speaker 1: Like whenever I noticed that when someone's like, what I

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Speaker 1: like is very simple, but it's hard for me to

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Speaker 1: do just even friendships photonically, I'm like, this just isn't

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Speaker 1: for me. Oh I do that with time. If I'm

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Speaker 1: around someone who's just constantly always late it, I just

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Speaker 1: let them know this is this does not work for me,

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Speaker 1: and it will build resentment. I do not like people

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Speaker 1: that play with my time, and I've shared that with

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Speaker 1: my partner, like I've shared that with my my uh

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Speaker 1: my co host. I've shared that with just about everybody

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Speaker 1: in my life that time is one thing I do

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Speaker 1: not play with and I do not take lightly. And

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Speaker 1: so if it's if it's someone who is just constantly

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Speaker 1: I was going to show up or be late, slowly

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Speaker 1: they'll start being removed out of my life. Like I'm

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Speaker 1: very I'm very quick to tell people like that's a

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Speaker 1: big thing. But that goes to being intentional. But that's

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, and again, treating me like a human.

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Speaker 1: If it's one thing that you know I absolutely hate

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Speaker 1: to me, I literally draw the line and look at

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Speaker 1: it as a sign of either disrespect that you just

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Speaker 1: don't give a fuck about me, because I vocally I

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Speaker 1: vocalize that this is something that drives me crazy and

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Speaker 1: that I do not like. And so if you don't

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Speaker 1: even try to be on time for me, then that's

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Speaker 1: how I take it, and that's how I perceive it,

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Speaker 1: and then you're you know, you gotta go. I think

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Speaker 1: I'm very big now with vocalizing the things that bother me.

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Speaker 1: I did that with my last relationship, and I've been

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Speaker 1: learning how to create boundaries as well. But to me,

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Speaker 1: vocalizing the things that you don't like. When you're in

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Speaker 1: a relationship and you see that the person that you

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Speaker 1: are with it's not even attempting to make up to

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Speaker 1: not do the things that you don't like to me,

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Speaker 1: then that person has very little reverence for you. And

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Speaker 1: that's just how I perceive. I agree. You agree with

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Speaker 1: that well, So in virtual sessions to finish up that

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Speaker 1: day answer, it's more about what you like. And this

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Speaker 1: is the same thing because this is in space, but

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Speaker 1: because I'm not touching you, I look at its just virtual.

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Speaker 1: It's more about connecting to you as a human and

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Speaker 1: in space is the same thing, given you agency to

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Speaker 1: say yes or no, given you letting you know that

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Speaker 1: I'll do anything that you want me to other than

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Speaker 1: my heart limits, and I'll tell you what that is.

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Speaker 1: So there's always setting the stage to worship the person

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Speaker 1: that you're in front of. So I look at connecting

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Speaker 1: as a form of devotion because we do everything for

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Speaker 1: a god that we've never That's a great word. I

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Speaker 1: I've been using that a lot lately through meditation and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Devotion Like, I've been using that a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: think that we're using words like that. Sometimes it feels

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Speaker 1: real serious, but like at the same time, it's a

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Speaker 1: simple way of telling someone that you are taking them serious,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like I used to associate

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Speaker 1: words like devotion or body worship. That's the first time

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Speaker 1: I would start using worship in a sexual way, right,

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Speaker 1: and I would associate that with like, Oh, this feels

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Speaker 1: like very commitment and very serious. But I do like

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Speaker 1: the intention behind sexual relationships, Like I must say, like,

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Speaker 1: even through casualty, I've had experiences like that this whole podcast, Like,

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Speaker 1: I've always had very good foundation built with the people

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Speaker 1: that I've had sex with. And I think that when

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Speaker 1: meeting sex workers, it's always so interesting to me when

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Speaker 1: someone is a little more intellectual, because I know some

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Speaker 1: sex workers that are like, oh girl, through some pasiotomy,

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Speaker 1: pay me whatever, I'm out and then making just as

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Speaker 1: much money or respected the same way as the sex

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Speaker 1: worker that's sending you a checklist before they meet up

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Speaker 1: with you. So it's just interesting to meet different people

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Speaker 1: and and and see what that's like, which is kind

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Speaker 1: of crazy that we're even talking about this with you,

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Speaker 1: considering the first video I saw of you is you

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Speaker 1: blowing your trumpet into someone's pussy. The next one is

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Speaker 1: the shower, and here we are. I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: have about love and respect. I didn't want to answer

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Speaker 1: you too, because again you go down the rabbit hole

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Speaker 1: of your Twitter, it doesn't seem like much as off limits.

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Speaker 1: So what are your heart limits? Wow? So is the

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Speaker 1: list long or short? It's actually short. I figured, I'm oh, wow,

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Speaker 1: you know what I ask you that that was my

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Speaker 1: first question. Good, So I try to explain it to people.

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Speaker 1: I love women of color, specifically black women. I just

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Speaker 1: do um. I don't want to be called in word.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be some. I'm not into queen

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Speaker 1: of space. I don't want to be your BBC like,

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Speaker 1: that's not my thing. But we joke about it, but

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Speaker 1: I actually do it. I mean it's a lot of

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Speaker 1: people say in BBC is weird to me? I like it? Wait,

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Speaker 1: but do you because I search it because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to see what not. We literally talked about it though,

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Speaker 1: like when you put in white cock or big cock.

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Speaker 1: A lot of it's but you're not white saying calling

355
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Speaker 1: a man. No, no, I don't vocalize. It's searching. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to say BBC. I've only been with

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Speaker 1: black men, so like to me that word, but when

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Speaker 1: I'm searching it online, I absolutely do search that word

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Speaker 1: because that's what I want to see, right, I mean,

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Speaker 1: like you see you're saying I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: called that. Oh yeah, I mean I mean so it's

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Speaker 1: a thing called BBC. Yes, oh I don't know, Like

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Speaker 1: that does not sound sexy. But to be called BBC

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Speaker 1: people do it tony all the time. I'll put it

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Speaker 1: like this, Um, there are certain people that are I

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Speaker 1: want to talk about. Yeah, we talked about cracow. Come on, sorry,

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Speaker 1: space people in sex positive spaces, this is what you'll see.

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Speaker 1: We're having a conversation. I was an exoteric though which

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Speaker 1: one in DC, A white lady comes up interrupts me

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Speaker 1: having a conversation. She sees me talking to a group

371
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Speaker 1: of black women. She interrupts me. It's like, it's time

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Speaker 1: for you to spank me. So I was like, you

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Speaker 1: know what I said, I'm an indulger. But the way

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Speaker 1: that I did it, all the black women was like, yeah,

375
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Speaker 1: get her. There's like getter because they can see it.

376
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,199
Speaker 1: There's like getter. And but the way they move is

377
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 1: such an entitlement and it's such a turn off women

378
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,719
Speaker 1: of color. Don't act like that. But you could be

379
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Speaker 1: madly attracted to me, but the way you approach me

380
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Speaker 1: is still from his place of self respect and respect

381
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Speaker 1: for my humanists. I was at the space changing clothes,

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Speaker 1: and that's why lady was like, damn, the BBC's here,

383
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,520
Speaker 1: and I'm like, first of all, you're never gonna feel it. However,

384
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,399
Speaker 1: ill grows right because you literally just did something that

385
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Speaker 1: I'm not into. So race play, I don't. I don't

386
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Speaker 1: want I don't want blood. Okay, Now I say I'm

387
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Speaker 1: in the water sports because like what I what I

388
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 1: do enjoy is when a lady sports all over me.

389
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Speaker 1: That brother, it isn't what she said in my face.

390
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,480
Speaker 1: Whether however it happens, you say, square it all over

391
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,439
Speaker 1: me anywhere, but not what about golden showers? I'm not

392
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,159
Speaker 1: I'm not opposed to it, Okay, I mean because I

393
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:13,360
Speaker 1: recognize like things with things I despise, seen it other

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Speaker 1: than my own really buys I used to And now

395
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: what is it like? You know, I drink a lot

396
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:26,120
Speaker 1: of water, shipload of fruits and vegan. Is it clear?

397
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 1: That's what she just said on so I know what

398
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 1: it tastes like because I taste one all the time. So,

399
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: like I jokingly said, bumpasaw sweet on on the interview,

400
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 1: but I was being just spent selling physicians. However, not

401
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 1: everybody takes that like you know, you you all had

402
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:50,680
Speaker 1: bad exactly, that was it. Yeah, Like men that are

403
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 1: doing like helloprotein creatine like all that extra shit. I'm like, yo,

404
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,639
Speaker 1: are you sure you're not on those steroids because this

405
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: can't be real. That's how bad its weed smokers terrible. Yeah,

406
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 1: I will say vegan definitely the best I've ever tasted.

407
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 1: Hey to admit, because I am not a plant based girl,

408
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: but they do be having yo listen, even vegan women

409
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:14,120
Speaker 1: even taste better. I know. It's I was talking about

410
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,719
Speaker 1: both it and it's it is. It's really because of

411
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 1: the cidickness of what we eat, because you end up

412
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 1: tasting like salt. It ends up being like having a

413
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:26,120
Speaker 1: different flavor, even like if you don't drink water, Yeah,

414
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 1: same thing. It turns out, I've been learning a little

415
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 1: bit with my own self, like with tasting right before,

416
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Speaker 1: especially because like with having new partners, you know, the

417
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,360
Speaker 1: first time, I want to be like perfect, So like

418
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 1: sometimes I definitely I'll cut red meat off right before

419
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Speaker 1: I know I gotta date, but I heavy up the

420
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 1: fruits like and really the water is the main different.

421
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 1: I think water over even water. What is a big

422
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 1: thing is a big thing for me. Women that eat

423
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:52,400
Speaker 1: an excessive amount of shrimp you can tell and it's

424
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: like really, yeah, well I mean I'm allergic. So yeah,

425
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 1: and I did Wait what happened? Oh yeah you it

426
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: could come through the pussy. Wait, but no happens to you.

427
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 1: It makes me nauseous. I don't I don't swell, but

428
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 1: it is it show fish it has been and she

429
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 1: immediately likes. I mean she and a lot of it.

430
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 1: And we were shooting together. I was like, um, tongues

431
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: a little technically, and she like she spent a whole

432
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 1: week there day. So I date Muslims often, Um, but no,

433
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 1: I like bacon. So when I'm with them, when I know,

434
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm like engaging in sex with someone, Um, this Muslim,

435
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 1: I have to stop eating bacon because they tasted through

436
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: the place they taste. I didn't think it was real.

437
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 1: He knows he like them. Greens had bacon for the holidays.

438
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 1: Didn't that. I was like, damn they show did they

439
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: showed them? But I didn't want to get us through

440
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: our vanilla ship, because this is where I want to

441
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: know just how strange, how kinky things have gotten around you.

442
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 1: I found an article from me or dot co dot

443
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: uk about a man who is in love with balloons.

444
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,159
Speaker 1: A man who is attracted to objects has dished the

445
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:13,879
Speaker 1: details of his relationship with multiple balloons. Akaj, who's twenty eight,

446
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 1: is so besided with his collection of inflatable partners that

447
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 1: he could burst literally. The romantic identifies as object them sexual,

448
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 1: which means he is sexually attracted to inanimate objects. He

449
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: lives in Mumbai, India, and shares a bed with the

450
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 1: balloons every night, and says that they also enjoy a

451
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 1: physical relationship. I like their presence in war and share

452
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: intimate feelings with my balloons, and vice versa. I make

453
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: out with my balloons when we're in love. You spent

454
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 1: a lot of time together and accept all kinds of flaws.

455
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: Every morning I wake up by saying good morning and

456
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: giving a kiss to my balloon that sleep beside me,

457
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: and vice versa. When they become inflated, I think that

458
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 1: that's when they're born. I can talk to them, take

459
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: them shopping and for a walk in the garden. They

460
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: do talk me through dreams and telepathy, so talk me

461
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 1: through telepathy. Yes, it's nuts. I don't know what the conversation. Listen, Okay,

462
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: so you're laughing like you probably have not heard of

463
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: this because I wasn't ask have you met someone that's

464
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 1: been in ahead? Now we're ready for the weird talk

465
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 1: about I know you know people? So has anyone been

466
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: in love with inanimate objects before? Wow? The one on

467
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 1: your life? Okay, So, oh man, listen this this is

468
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: interesting for me to talk about because I recognize it's

469
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,440
Speaker 1: different for me. Um, but I feel that way about

470
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 1: my trumpet, but not not in the sense of it

471
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 1: talks to me like not not like not that, but

472
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 1: in the sense of you can take it on walks.

473
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: Well I haven't. It's literally with me more than people are. Um.

474
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: But it's more it's more of a self love thing.

475
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: Like when I play trumpet, it is me um tuning myself.

476
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 1: It is me expressing how I feel through music. So

477
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: it's a part of me. I love it. Yes, it brings.

478
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,919
Speaker 1: That's when it's actually produces, like you like a little.

479
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 1: So I'm doing that with my collar right now. So

480
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: that's why. One of the reasons why I wear a

481
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: collar because it's a slight uh like blood joke. I

482
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: feel I'm over here like fucking myself right now, forgive me? Okay,

483
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 1: So I do like trumpet to sit over here with you.

484
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: I don't like you. Isn't your girlfriend? So I ironically

485
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 1: if if you, if you subscribe to my Only Fans,

486
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: you will see some pictures where I'm doing some things

487
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,679
Speaker 1: with my trumpet that you might be like like so

488
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 1: like what like it can't make noise no more? How

489
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 1: about this? I to be honest with you, You're just

490
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 1: gonna have to subscribe. I'm a legal now. That's why

491
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh shit, you you actually bought something out

492
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 1: of it. I'm like that is actually you're laughing because

493
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: you understood? Or do you put something in? Or is

494
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: it You're gonna listen if you subscribe to My Only Fans,

495
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: how much is how I made out with your trumpet

496
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 1: outside of blowing it? Like so, so you might actually

497
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: have an affair with an inanimate object. Hey, y'all, this

498
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 1: is why. Because you're laughing and you're like, oh shit,

499
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 1: she talking about me. Maybe you're you gotta add that

500
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: tier it. Actually, I've known this all of my life.

501
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: So any woman that is every day, any person's every

502
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 1: day to me recognize this. And I'm honest, I'm going

503
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,919
Speaker 1: to touch my trumpet more than I'll probably touch you,

504
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: and has nothing to do with lack of desire for you. Um,

505
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: it's like an or fixation. I enjoy playing the trumpet.

506
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 1: I enjoyed the blowing of it. Everything about it gives

507
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: me like excitement. So um, it's it's very much a

508
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: part of me and plants. I was thirteen, I'm forty one,

509
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 1: so I get this away as well. I was laughing.

510
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: I was like, talk to it though, Like, it doesn't

511
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: talk to me. It doesn't help me through relational problems

512
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 1: to it not. Do you drink or do drugs? First

513
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 1: of all, I've taken time. Yes, I do drugs, that pharmaceutical,

514
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 1: plant medicine. Oh, mushrooms. So you're never had the mushroom

515
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 1: look at that trumpet and been like it's me and

516
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: you for life? No, I've never know. I have not.

517
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 1: Now I do know that you can be aroused without

518
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: getting hard, you can have an orgasm without shooting out.

519
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:28,679
Speaker 1: Does your trumpet give you like sexual feelings? Not in

520
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 1: that sense, in the viboratory sense. Yes, okay, um, the

521
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: same way I'm doing that make my lips vibrate. It's

522
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: very somatic. It brings you out of your head and

523
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: into your body. It's the it's the diaphramic breathing. So

524
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: it's like doing meditation medici breathing. Do you know about

525
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: the breathing how Um, With deep breathing you can release

526
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: DMT into the brain. Yes, and you can also have

527
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 1: an orgasm. Right, So just with how you breathe with breathplay.

528
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 1: So one of my teachers, two of my teachers, Grand teacher,

529
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: that's what you made me think of. That's why I

530
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: brought it up my grant, I mean to Peterson and

531
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 1: then my teacher touched by Jack's they both we we

532
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: do breathwork and they we've been talking about it. But

533
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: orgasm can come from breath. So when I'm playing trump,

534
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 1: when people see me smoking, when you smokers are doing

535
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 1: meditative breathing, they're going slow, meaningful breath. They're filling up

536
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:23,400
Speaker 1: their entire lungs and they're blowing it out. Regardless of that,

537
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: that's that's need to hear nor there. But they're doing it.

538
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 1: The breath is still meditating. So when I'm playing trumpet,

539
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: I'm doing that plus one. So play like if you

540
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: know what you think about breath and fire, different ways

541
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: to breathe, I'm doing that while I'm playing trumpet. So

542
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 1: the kemp like you're saying DMT, I'm that's actually part

543
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: of what's happening. Those deep intense breathings and then blowing

544
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 1: out all the carbon knocks out of your body. It

545
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 1: has a very relaxing effect on the body. So the

546
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: same way you get excited about a date you're going

547
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: to go on, and then you go on the date,

548
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: that's I'm getting dopamine oxytocin just from playing the trumpet

549
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 1: because I'm excited about the thing. I'm excited about the plane.

550
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 1: And then when I'm playing, I'm actually giving myself this boost.

551
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: So yes, i can be aroused. But as far as orgasm,

552
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 1: the difference between the jaculas and orgasm is the jacqueline

553
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: is the end of the erection orgasm when your legs

554
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: starts shaking and you're a malebody person, like that's an orgasm,

555
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 1: you're having one, you just don't recognize that's what's happening

556
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: while you're having sex when you just start that little

557
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: weird ass pumpy, like, how did you go from a

558
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: steady rhythm to that weirdness? That's an orgasm? Wow, arousal

559
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,239
Speaker 1: can be when you drink water or something. You're like,

560
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,680
Speaker 1: I'm like an explosion of joy as an orgasm, But

561
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 1: we just centralize to our Genitalian We don't recognize I

562
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,919
Speaker 1: have a scene with bad Sad Jones. That's interesting. I

563
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: wouldn't describe orgasm that way. I feel like orgasm has

564
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: a peak and climax, So enjoying something like a drink,

565
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 1: I guess. I guess because like I'm getting there and

566
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 1: then I'm going back down, but like a burst of

567
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: joy from something that you do and then it dissipates,

568
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,719
Speaker 1: So you're right, orgasms kind of a peak and then

569
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 1: it so meet your favorite food and you're like, ohh,

570
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: how is that any different from when you're rubbing one

571
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: out and you get that old Maybe the intensity, I guess,

572
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: not just intensity is the location of it. But I

573
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: promise you there's videos were I'm literally rubbing the ladies

574
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: calf and she's squirting all over. So so orgasm doesn't

575
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: have to be centralized the calves. It doesn't have to

576
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: be centralized two years Genitalia, so we experience. There's no

577
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: touching of the puss. You are rubbing her scene the scene,

578
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: it's on my only thing, calf and she is just

579
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: squirting from her calf being rod ass water sports that

580
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: might be it's squirt, not be No, it's squirt. Wow,

581
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna hold you. I'm gonna subscribe to I

582
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: have just added some more coins. I have flogged people

583
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: and they've they've squirted, but not just on the volve,

584
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: on the buttocks. It's because orgasm that is the build

585
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: up is a build up of many things. But see

586
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: that's because calves is different. Because your ass like being spanked.

587
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: I feel it in my pussy. I feel a little,

588
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: it reaches it somehow. That's local lies. But the calves,

589
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: that's talent. Now you deserve a fly. If you ever

590
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: had a session with me, the way you would feel

591
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: after it is different than the way you feel from

592
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,479
Speaker 1: somebody have a sexually it's given a sus but it's

593
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: not even just that. So my pussy do begin when

594
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: I get massages. That's a good thing they do. But

595
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: as soon as your partner puts his penis inside you.

596
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: You're worried about if they had fun, what I'm going

597
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 1: to do to you. You're not worried about it I

598
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 1: had fun. You're so focused on yourself you can get

599
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: into a space where your body is so sensitive. Why

600
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: I could do like this and you, Oh shit, that's

601
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: good if you can do that to people that are pleasers,

602
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 1: because I am one, and I've realized that sometimes it's

603
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: almost difficult for me when having sex with pleasers because

604
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 1: we're almost both racing and we can't relax. And I

605
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: think a lot of people need to unlearn that. I've

606
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 1: actually learned that recently. M I was sleeping with someone

607
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: that was such a pleaser and so was I, and

608
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 1: we were both too competing and pleasing each other. Yeah,

609
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: not competing more than like, we couldn't relax or enjoy

610
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: until the other person did. So now it was almost

611
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: like I almost faked it just so he could get

612
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: to it, so that I could get to you know

613
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like we laughed about it and like

614
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 1: learned about that too, and he was like, yeah, I

615
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: just can't, Like I just I need to get off it.

616
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: You get an off I'm like I know, so what

617
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 1: should we do? Did laugh? Like, Um, I do want

618
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: to get back into DMT because I haven't really sat

619
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: with someone that I could have a conversation with that

620
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: with about that with on Horrible, But I've been having

621
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: many combos about it. So I've had DMT, have smoked it, um,

622
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: and most people know it's a hallucinogen kind of like

623
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: in that ayahuasca ish family, right. But learned about Kundalini

624
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: through Liz Goldman, who we've had on the show, who

625
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: took me to the yoga class, who taught me about

626
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: breath work and meditation. Then I learned about DMT being

627
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: released through a lot of breath work, and I had

628
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: no idea that DMT was something that your own brain

629
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: can release. And when I did it for an hour,

630
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: so apparently like it's almost they compared to the feeling

631
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: of heroin, like when you're when your brain can get there,

632
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: have you been able to reach it? Took me Like,

633
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: it took me way too long, So um, when you

634
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: you probably don't watch it. If you ever see me

635
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: do yoga on my Instagram lives, that's what I'm doing.

636
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: It takes me about forty five minutes I'm using motion

637
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: in breath. But another thing that happens when you go

638
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: to the gym and workout or hard and you go

639
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: to sleep and have a dream. DMT is when you're dreaming.

640
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: You say it's hallucination, but your body creates a lot

641
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: of time when you're smoking smoking, I'm saying the hallucination, yeah,

642
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 1: but when your body crazy, you can create it. You're

643
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 1: just working out because when you're you're talking about breathing.

644
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: When you're working out intentionally, you're generally focused on your breath.

645
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: But when you're dreaming, that's DMT. You can create it

646
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: through many different things. So, but physical exertion is one way.

647
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: Meditation is another way. But when you do it, it's

648
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: a it's a beautiful experience. Think about all the chemicals

649
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,479
Speaker 1: you're create in your body right now. You're your own

650
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: perfect drug factory. When you're excited about something that's dopamine,

651
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: when you start to bomb with somebody's oxytocin and nobody

652
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: has to touch you to police set in your body right,

653
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 1: And that's what I was talking about being attentive. But

654
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 1: DMT is a fire thing because of the way it

655
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: makes your brain fire and what it does to the

656
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: ego and how you can be like, damn, I'm not

657
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: alone in this crazy space. Also it oh, it crack

658
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 1: kind of cracks open which you believe to be possible,

659
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: and it puts you in a different space like cycles

660
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: of mushrooms. It puts you in a whole different space.

661
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: After you do, you're like, shit, I feel connected to

662
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 1: everything and everybody. Yeah. Now, speaking of connections, speaking of

663
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: kinkstruments as well, we're gonna get into our hord dirt

664
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 1: because you are someone as well who enjoys antal play

665
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: on yourself and so we were lucky. It took us

666
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: years to get someone to come on here and talk

667
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: about them enjoying being pegged um. But you gladly sit

668
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,479
Speaker 1: on dial doos on your page as well, and so

669
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: I would love for you to give us a sex

670
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: tip about antal toys and pegging for men. One of

671
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: the things is um reckons and it doesn't challenge your masculinity,

672
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: our g spot. It's inside your an. It's there. God

673
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: did that because you got y'all. And it's the same thing.

674
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: If someone is digitally penetrate and you're like, I mean,

675
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 1: can you go to the top and pop that like

676
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,840
Speaker 1: can you touch the G spot. So it's the same

677
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 1: thing recognizing that you can have the most amount of

678
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,879
Speaker 1: pleasure you've ever had in your life with just one

679
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: finger in your rectum. And it literally takes less than

680
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 1: ten seconds. Milk a process. As soon as you hit

681
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 1: it's like, oh my god. Um. But the biggest thing

682
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: is I would say, get a dilatory. It's one of

683
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 1: the best toys. And it's small, starts off real small,

684
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: and it's a bloom. It expands. That actually allowed for me.

685
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 1: It's the easiest way to take something in your in

686
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: your rectum. Mum dilator like an anal training kit. That's

687
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: exactly what it is. Just go to the sex doore

688
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: and it's like it said, it's a little small, small ball.

689
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 1: Hit the power button and just slowly expands. Oh what

690
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: about prep um prepping, like literally preparing yourself for it. Prepping.

691
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: Don't eat a lot of food that day the day

692
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 1: you want to actually bottom trying not to eat, and

693
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: go get you some fleet. Take the water, take the

694
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,760
Speaker 1: solution out and just put warm water in it, squirted

695
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: up in there and then your lower bow will be

696
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: cleaned out and once it comes out with nothing but water.

697
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: You're ready. Now we're going straight into kink tails from there.

698
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: That's the horrible decision. I would love to know what

699
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 1: the conversation was. Did you want to be pegged the

700
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: first time? Or did a woman say that she wanted

701
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: to peg it? How did that take place? Um, I

702
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 1: was asking for it, you were asking for it. What

703
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: you should know is this when most people grew up

704
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 1: trying to break into their parents born stash. My mom

705
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,879
Speaker 1: was a dog, so she had didos, she had an't

706
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: weal be shit, a lot of stuff, and so I

707
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: was like, what's this? Oh why is there a dick? Oh?

708
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: What do you do with it? And you know, at

709
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:46,399
Speaker 1: some point, being a child, you don't recognize that you're

710
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,359
Speaker 1: a boy or a girl. You're just just doing thing.

711
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: You can take a bath with a whole boy and

712
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: be teen years old, have no idea that that a

713
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 1: boy and you're a girl. So I was in that

714
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 1: space planet with Dido's putting things in my butt like

715
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 1: so I'm like, oh, I didn't know that my g

716
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: spot was there when I was doing it, but I

717
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: was like that shit feels great. Was out here playing?

718
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: How old were you when you were doing that? Oh man,

719
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,839
Speaker 1: And does your mama know that she was in there

720
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 1: playing with her toys? Yes, oh she does. I think

721
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 1: when I found my first deal though, and I remember

722
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: it was all black. It was about six inches, had

723
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: no balls. Um, that's the scripted it. I probably was

724
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: somewhere between. We were living in d C. So I

725
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 1: was probably like twelve or thirteen, somewhere between eleven and thirteen. Um.

726
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 1: At the time, my motherfucking life I was. I couldn't

727
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: figure how to clean it at all. I didn't I

728
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 1: didn't know about cleaning out. So it was my first experience.

729
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 1: Was pleasurable, but it was a lot of like me.

730
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: It was not a ship like like like that. No

731
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 1: pun into enjoying that at that age. What do you

732
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,439
Speaker 1: what's your sexuality today? Pan sexual? I was gonna guess

733
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: it's all humans. So, but that you have a pan

734
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: sexual vibe, um part of it. So my mom had

735
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and two of my godmothers

736
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 1: were trans women. Um. And you grew up in d yes,

737
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,359
Speaker 1: So I grew up in a household where you were

738
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 1: encouraged to be you. Just if you're having sex with somebody,

739
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,399
Speaker 1: to be honest, don't lie about who and what you are,

740
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 1: but just be you know, show up in the world. Luck. Yeah, yeah,

741
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 1: thirty one. This is a really crazy thing to you.

742
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 1: Hear so many younger people saying like, oh, like I

743
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 1: had a coming out party and you're like, oh, like,

744
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 1: imagine the person that like, were you one a few

745
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 1: amongst friends? Um, so this is the funny thing. Um,

746
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: and I don't I don't like the dry stitching or anybody.

747
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: I don't believe almost anybody straight for many reasons. As

748
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: a sex work, we were not I don't even like

749
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 1: to play this game like I'm not gay, but I'm

750
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 1: a dude. So how about you don't gotta be gay

751
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: whatever you call yourself. You're here for pleasure. I'll give

752
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 1: it to you. Um, it's not even about sex, just

753
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,479
Speaker 1: dude touching to do man man man on mail touch.

754
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: But I think what it is is we are sexualities

755
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 1: based on who we will take home to our parents.

756
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,760
Speaker 1: Sometimes in some cases, you may not actually be attracted

757
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 1: to a one, be like this woman doesn't do anything

758
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: for me. However, you made meet a woman, be like,

759
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: she's so fucking fired, who would it be like to

760
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 1: kiss them? So that's that's a different level of attraction,

761
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: but it's more about their energy sexual attraction on the

762
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 1: animal level. Some things you're not attracted to. But it

763
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 1: may be a day like damn, I don't know how

764
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: should get my pussy? Well, what the hell does happened

765
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 1: to me? But when it comes down to pleasure, if

766
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 1: this was a dark room and you were getting your

767
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: box age and it felt great to you, once the

768
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 1: light comes on, you're like, damn, it was a dog.

769
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 1: Oh shit, you'd be mad, you'd be pissed. But the

770
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: whole time before you knew he was like yo, they

771
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 1: he was going to town and it wasn't even a heat.

772
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: So pleasure is separate than sexuality because dude, say they're straight,

773
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: but they go to glory hose and who's in the

774
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: glory hole? Who's behind the wall. It was created for man,

775
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: it was. It wasn't created for male on female right.

776
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 1: It was a crazy to give your ammiunity to put

777
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 1: your addict to a hole and get it sucked and

778
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I didn't know it was. You knew

779
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: who it was. So sexualities and pleasure, you know, they

780
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: can be separated because you don't have to quote unquote

781
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: be attracted to a male, but you'll still use his mouth,

782
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 1: You'll still use his asshole. That's a pleasure. Basic about

783
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,399
Speaker 1: jail a lot. I had this conversation with people who

784
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: are very much and identified as straight. But those are

785
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: things that, yeah, they'll allow because it maybe it feels

786
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 1: good or whatever the case. I was at a photo

787
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,800
Speaker 1: shoot Mandy, and let me just say this, the straight

788
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: men talk more about my penis than the ladies that

789
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 1: were there. But do you also think that that's a

790
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 1: trained thing? Knowing that even important we talked about it.

791
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: They often show the dick going in the pussy, the

792
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: coum shot, the dick getting sucked. Please tell me, please

793
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: tell me what about that it's heterosexual? Because if I'm heterosexual,

794
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: I want to see two women. I don't need to

795
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: do what I need to do for I agree with

796
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 1: you on the first part about people's scale, but I

797
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 1: think people envision themselves important. Yes they can't, But what

798
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying is, if you're there's no need. I've met

799
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 1: people that are woman or male body. They don't spend

800
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: any time talking about a pussy because I don't like it.

801
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: She's cute. I mean, he banged her out, but I'm

802
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 1: more about him. The fact that a lot of straight

803
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: do spend so much time they want the larger penis.

804
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 1: They want you to beat it on their faith. If

805
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 1: you have a small penis, how do you imagine that's

806
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 1: your openis. I'm not trying to be funny. If you're

807
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: a white male fantasy though, I get it, but it's

808
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: still fixated on the penis. Part of it is misogyny,

809
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: I get it, but it's still you spend more time

810
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: talking about it than I do. And then women, but

811
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 1: you say you're straight or part of it, and I'm

812
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 1: being facetious. I recognize people can have their own preferences,

813
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: just being silly, but it's just sexuality is so fluid

814
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: in many different ways. Because it said pleasure and sexuality

815
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: can be separated, but a lot of people enjoy pleasure,

816
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: but they wouldn't take a dude home, right, But again,

817
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 1: you'll go to a glory hole. I'm eighty twenty Actually

818
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: was what you said, ady, agreeing that people for the

819
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 1: most part are not all the way straight. The twenty

820
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: is that I think we can be very brainwashed into

821
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 1: not letting us do that. I think men specifically, I mean,

822
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 1: for the most part, we celebrate girls kissing a girl

823
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,439
Speaker 1: and it's funny and it's sexy and whatever. I think

824
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,399
Speaker 1: men can be so terrified to even look the other

825
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 1: way that sometimes they want to allow their brain to

826
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: get there. I think about the men that I've wanted

827
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 1: to have, you know, play with that we're just like,

828
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 1: oh my god, don't like or just freaking out about it.

829
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: Won't let their body relax, just can't think about it

830
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 1: because it's been forced into them. And I mean that's

831
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: a societal pressure, but I think that almost keeps you

832
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: from it. I think maybe even I had a guy

833
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: tell me once that was open about it. He was like,

834
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: I remember when I was like a teenager, I wanted

835
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 1: to know what other guys bodies looked like in the

836
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 1: locker room. I wanted to know if I looked similar,

837
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:37,399
Speaker 1: if I was bigger or smaller. I wanted to know.

838
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: And then amongst looking like, I knew they were attractive,

839
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 1: and it made me think of women, and like I

840
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 1: would think about them and think about sex, but think

841
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: about fucking women. That to me is still Kinsley skill. Shit.

842
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 1: I look at hot girls sometimes they might want to

843
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 1: go fuck my boyfriend. You know what I'm saying like,

844
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 1: I think, though, we've got to make sure that we're

845
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: all having conversation about pleasure, Like I think you've said

846
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: something today that I haven't heard a Really pleasure and

847
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 1: sexuality are separate, because it's very true. Yeah, I really

848
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: like that, especially because the clip of you that went

849
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 1: viral literally questioned both of those things. So you went

850
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 1: viral for saying that you sucked your own dick and

851
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 1: came in your mouth, which is ironic now that you

852
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 1: say you don't like come, it's the thing. Oh you

853
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:23,839
Speaker 1: don't like other people's come, but you're cool with your

854
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 1: because you know what you're eating and put it in

855
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: your body. Now, there is a porn star and I'm

856
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: so mad that I can't remember his name now, but

857
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: that literally sucks his own dick off yeap crazy he

858
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: was no that he's new. I'm talking about like when

859
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 1: we first got on the spot and I was like,

860
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: oh wow, because he was very, very attractive. And that's

861
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 1: why I like gay porn because they'd be fine. How

862
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: can you do it? That's everybody suestion, right, is it?

863
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:53,760
Speaker 1: The bending over? Is it flexibility? Can anyone suck? By

864
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: the way, By the way, can any man suck their

865
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 1: own dick. Is that a thing that really all of

866
00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 1: y'all can do? No, okay, it's anatomy and flexibility. So um,

867
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,319
Speaker 1: because I feel like anybody, Yeah, okay, So women can't.

868
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: We can't. Oh, listen, we can't eat all busy. You

869
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 1: see someone eat the busy. Let me tell you something. Listen.

870
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 1: You telling secrets on a microphone is so funny. There

871
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: are two people that I've seen do it. There's this

872
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 1: Asian lady and the other person doesn't really do it,

873
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: but they can put their face there. Um, I want

874
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,879
Speaker 1: to say. The name is Tabana okay, and she she's

875
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: a black contortionist. It is I know she can't and

876
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: let me tell you. When she'd be teasing, I'll just

877
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 1: be like, oh Jesus wow. And it's it's it is

878
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: a thing to watch because I'm like, I just think,

879
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 1: I like al due to you while you're doing that.

880
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: But to answer your question, so, this is the size

881
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 1: of my files. It is two hands plus this so

882
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 1: literally I can bend over God that or I can

883
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 1: put my legs over my head. What you say that big?

884
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 1: I saw a video of it, but like what, I'm

885
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: sorry you put it nipple. Yeah, he just it's it's

886
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 1: so god No, you really just put that up to

887
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: your nipple. So check out when when it's hard, it's

888
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: it's two hands and I can lift my thumb and

889
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: my thumb is at the head of my penis. Oh okay,

890
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: so when I bent over, I can uh, or if

891
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,399
Speaker 1: I put my legs over my head, that's it. That's

892
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: when you get to throw your Listen, how is that?

893
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 1: Are you a good dick sucker? Because you would know

894
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: since you yourself like, how would you raise your dick

895
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: sucking skill? Listen? You know I did not wanted to know.

896
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: This is the funny thing. No one has ever asked me.

897
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: I don't know, So you have to understand this. You

898
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: just do what you want to feel. No, not I

899
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 1: ask people what they like? So no, no, I mean

900
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 1: like on yourself myself. Yeah, I'm here, so i'm experiments.

901
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, what is this? What is this? What

902
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 1: is this? But when I give other people head, it's

903
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: more of like, what do you like even if it

904
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,399
Speaker 1: whether it's male female body, because they if you don't

905
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: like what I'm doing, I'm wasting my time And I

906
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 1: want to be intentional and I want. I want you

907
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 1: not to be triggered. I want you to be seen

908
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: in anything that I do. Um, because even if I

909
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,840
Speaker 1: missed the mark and you say I like this, this,

910
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 1: and let's not do those three things, but I missed

911
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 1: the mark somewhere on these other things, you'd be like

912
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: they gave effort. I like that. You. Everyone wants to

913
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 1: feel that someone showed up for them, so you know,

914
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,439
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't know. I don't. I can't

915
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: say that I'm good. I don't know. What do you

916
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:30,760
Speaker 1: do it for work? A lot? Oh? Like you record

917
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 1: yourself doing it well? Personally, I tell people when I'm

918
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: in the mood there it may be like every other month,

919
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 1: I'm in the mood to give myself at And one

920
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 1: of the running jokes is he doesn't need anybody to pleasure.

921
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, actually, I enjoy touch from other people. Um.

922
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: It's something that I recognize when I was younger and

923
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: I was like oh boom oh, and it was just like, oh,

924
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 1: I did it. But it wasn't like your mind was

925
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: an advanced mind, sir. You know, I've always been this

926
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: way because again, I grew up in a sex positive

927
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 1: home where my mom had a girlfriend and a boyfriend.

928
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,919
Speaker 1: So my grandfather had four girlfriends and I knew them all.

929
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 1: I knew my cousins who I knew everyone. So my

930
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 1: life was just kind of different. Growing up. I never

931
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: came out of the closet because why would I why

932
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 1: would do to my mom? Was no closet. Yeah, my

933
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: mom was like, be you so um it? I did

934
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,839
Speaker 1: now two friends? Yes, I had to say, well kind

935
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: of not. I wore dresses in high school, so that's

936
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 1: so it's yeah, if you if you grew up with me,

937
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: you knew I wasn't heterosexual, like I wore dresses, I

938
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 1: wore skirts. I would you call because back then did

939
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 1: you call yourself by No? I just I just was.

940
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,359
Speaker 1: I knew I wasn't straight. I would say I would

941
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: say bisexual at the time because paying sexual was a new,

942
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: a new Yeah, I like, I like, you know, I'm bisexual. Um,

943
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: But if when you find yourself sleeping with more and

944
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 1: has it changed? So this is the thing, um, and

945
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 1: this is just about social emotional intelligence. How were we're Um,

946
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: I were socialized for me to do with a male

947
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: bodied person. You you're not going to be you can't

948
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: be misogynistic the way you approach me is not going

949
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: to be I'm fucking you, I'm dominating you. It has

950
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: to be the same way I would approach a woman.

951
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be gentle. So I find myself dealing with

952
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 1: women more because dudes are not always able to be themselves.

953
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 1: I don't deal with download dudes like I'm not You're

954
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: not about to make me. We're not doing that. So

955
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 1: a lot of dudes are in that space and they

956
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,279
Speaker 1: be like, nah, like what me doing. You're not gonna

957
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: take me somewhere and make me feel away. Everybody that

958
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 1: knows me knows I'm off the chain, so we're out.

959
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: You're gonna think they just think we just rain. So

960
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just don't like that type of energy.

961
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: So I end up dealing with women more. But I'm open.

962
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 1: It's just about the human showing up as a human. Now,

963
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: for the black men listening that are again maybe I

964
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 1: hate to use the word confused, but in terms of

965
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 1: sexuality or where they fall on the Kinsey scale, a

966
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: lot of people feel as though women don't allow men

967
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 1: often to come as themselves. And you say you enjoy

968
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 1: black women, so I do. Just before we get out

969
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:06,759
Speaker 1: of here, I have to get into this conversation with

970
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 1: you being this person from a child and knowing that

971
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: you just come as you. What has your experience been

972
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 1: with black women regarding your sexuality and do they make

973
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: you feel safe? Um? So oh wow, oh yeah, these

974
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 1: are really good questions and so not trying to make

975
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 1: black women a monolith, of course, but yes, I find

976
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,359
Speaker 1: that it is difficult not for me to say who

977
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 1: I am, but let's say one of us we were

978
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 1: trying to date. You have to be able to tell

979
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 1: your friends I'm dating the neck a Trumpeter and they're

980
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 1: gonna look at my social media and be like this

981
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: this this is who you don't know what kind of

982
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:46,720
Speaker 1: trump So they're there are different things that that goes

983
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: into it. So if you're not secure as a woman

984
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 1: to say I do like them, that's an issue. But

985
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: there are women that's like that's gay and I'm like,

986
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 1: oh okay, and I'm like what does that mean? So

987
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 1: you care more about who I'm being honest about who

988
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: I have sex with and how I treat you as

989
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 1: a person, because I'm like that Donalo is real, right?

990
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: It is women like you're the first on my I

991
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:08,879
Speaker 1: am the first paying sexual like, that's where we're going

992
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 1: on the first person. I was honest to you, that's

993
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 1: where that will hop about that. So it can be

994
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: difficult for black women to accept you, and so for

995
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 1: me dating is difficult in that sense of there are

996
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: a lot of unfortunately Black women that would do everything

997
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 1: to uphold the patriarchy and misogyny. Is it the sex

998
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 1: work or the sexual orientation and to find more of

999
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 1: a hindrance to dating. It's a little bit of both.

1000
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 1: But I will say this, I've been called assist in

1001
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: effage more for how I conduct myself and who I

1002
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: have sex with. Wow, if we were like, let's say

1003
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 1: I was trying to like court one of you all,

1004
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: I'm probably never going to touch you. I'm not going

1005
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: to make any any way to be sexual with because

1006
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 1: someone to know you as a person. So one lady

1007
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,359
Speaker 1: I was talking to we spent like two months again,

1008
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: and she's like, are you are you attracted to me?

1009
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:55,680
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, why why why do you think that?

1010
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: She's like, you should never pushed upon me. I was like, oh,

1011
00:49:58,480 --> 00:49:59,840
Speaker 1: so me getting to know you as a humanist is

1012
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 1: the fact that I respect your space. I expermission to

1013
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: do these things to you. She's like, well, I'm used

1014
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 1: to men doing this. I'm like, oh violent, and you're

1015
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: consenting basically forcibly almost kind of assaulting you and you

1016
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: just kind of go with it. I'm like, that's not

1017
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: my last two men. I'm dated. I've come on this

1018
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: podcast and say like, why don't they want to have

1019
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 1: sex with me? Sooner? Dada da da. And it's so

1020
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 1: crazy because the conversation I had recently was like literally

1021
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 1: like my friends and I are trying to dissect why.

1022
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 1: You know, this summer I was dating someone like how

1023
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 1: how am I not fucking him? And I remember even

1024
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 1: you were like maybe he's gay or maybe he just

1025
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 1: wants to be your friend, bro, And that was his

1026
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,720
Speaker 1: exact answer, like I'm getting to know you, like I've sucked.

1027
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: Everybody's like halla fa and like of course you can

1028
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: get pussy. It's like and I'm sitting here thinking almost

1029
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 1: in my brain being a sex positive person who has

1030
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 1: a podcast like this, Oh yeah, maybe he's just like

1031
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 1: the weaker one of us too, even as the woman.

1032
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 1: I feel bad to say and I admitted on this

1033
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 1: pot too, um black Jesus, like he wanted to keep

1034
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 1: hanging out with me, but we weren't having sex because

1035
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,839
Speaker 1: you know, I was back entertaining this God damn my ex.

1036
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 1: But I was so shocked that, Okay, if we're not

1037
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: having sex, you still want to hang out with me.

1038
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:18,359
Speaker 1: And I think it's because of that relationship with heterosexual

1039
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 1: men yet, but the waiting when we had we fused

1040
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 1: on the first night. It was surprising to me that

1041
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 1: like we still wanted to hang we weren't having sex.

1042
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 1: This goes back to my original point. Yeah, about being

1043
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 1: seen as a human. Yeah, so even though you want it,

1044
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 1: you I know what you all look like, I know

1045
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 1: what you're accustomed to. So it's like, as a as

1046
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: a guy that understands themselves, we're like, we actually want

1047
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 1: to know who you want to self control. I think

1048
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 1: that we or at least for one point for myself,

1049
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 1: I thought I didn't realize self control meant that he

1050
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 1: actually had interest. I was just like, oh, he's not

1051
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 1: that into me if he can't contain himself, do you

1052
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: know the more that we're into you? It is. So

1053
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: I went on a date today and I have been

1054
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 1: talking to this first, I'm telling my damn business kind

1055
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: I decisions and I'm Polly. So all my lovers at

1056
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: one point will watch this, so I always have to

1057
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:17,839
Speaker 1: let them know what's going on, because like, I want

1058
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 1: to tell you first. But I'm went on a date

1059
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 1: today and I've known the person for about maybe a

1060
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: year and a half, and every time we've met, we've

1061
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: been in sex positive space, we've been face we could

1062
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 1: have literally had sex right then and there never had sex.

1063
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,799
Speaker 1: We've had great conversation, and so today I told her.

1064
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I like you, should like

1065
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: I like you too, And I was like, well, the

1066
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,759
Speaker 1: reason I like her more is because we've never had sex.

1067
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,400
Speaker 1: I'm a sex worker. I'm going to have sex. I

1068
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:40,399
Speaker 1: know when I'm gonna have sex and who I'm gonna

1069
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: be having sex with, how many times, how many scenes

1070
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 1: is gonna shoot? So I'm not worried about that. But

1071
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 1: when I can actually treat you as a human and

1072
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 1: we get to know it, sure that means actually like you.

1073
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 1: Because if sex is the only thing you can offer

1074
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: me when I'm not horny, what are we doing when

1075
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 1: I'm feeling What you just said is what I've just

1076
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 1: learned the last six months of my life. I'm almost

1077
00:52:55,880 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: thirty two years old. I mean the keeping. I always

1078
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 1: associated men wanting me in their passion for me with sex,

1079
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,800
Speaker 1: not that I wasn't getting I've had a lot of

1080
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 1: boyfriends and men want to court me, but it was

1081
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:13,399
Speaker 1: still associated with sex. But in this moment, like, it's

1082
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,319
Speaker 1: crazy because I did not know that I would even

1083
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 1: say until three weeks ago, just thinking that liking me

1084
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: this much was because we haven't had sex yet, because

1085
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 1: now I got to push past that point of my

1086
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 1: interest is there? Because at first, when he said something

1087
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 1: like this to me, I thought, oh, so, basically, you're

1088
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: scared to fuck me because you're not gonna like me

1089
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 1: after that. But it wasn't that. It was that you're

1090
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: so used to fucking girls by the third day or whatever,

1091
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,919
Speaker 1: that you kind of just don't get to this point

1092
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 1: that we're at now. When the fuck are you talking

1093
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 1: about family? You know what I mean, or my goals

1094
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: or life shit. When our first dates drinks, the second

1095
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 1: dates drinks, and by the third one we're ready to fuck.

1096
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 1: Like now, we're really building. And I think that men

1097
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,800
Speaker 1: that for themselves want more because at the end of

1098
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 1: the day, most men that I've met, even my homeboys,

1099
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 1: want a wifee type of girl. At the end of

1100
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: the day, they want one woman that they feel more

1101
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 1: connected to rather than the eight girls are currently fucking.

1102
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 1: They just haven't met them yet, but maybe they have.

1103
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 1: They just sucked them too early, and now it kind

1104
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 1: of feels like the chase is done for me. It's

1105
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 1: not about that. If I have interests, I have interests.

1106
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 1: But if you have a growth mindset, if you're intelligent,

1107
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 1: your body is going to change. Whatever size you are

1108
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 1: right now, we could be dating tomorrow. You can gain

1109
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: a one hundred pounds. So I don't like you, and

1110
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 1: the only interest I have is in your body? Why

1111
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 1: am I wasting my time? And keep in mind too,

1112
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:32,320
Speaker 1: that we're thinking our bodies are the prize, so so

1113
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:38,359
Speaker 1: many times when we're online, we're posting the bikini picks

1114
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,600
Speaker 1: and doing things like that, ready to reel them in

1115
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 1: without making sure that we've got intellectual conversation. Do you

1116
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: know how many women are so my home girls have

1117
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 1: made fun of me for years for things that I

1118
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 1: see now our soft girl life and like a trend

1119
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: on Twitter. I've had people say that I was what

1120
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: is it when you're like trying to like not the

1121
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 1: male gaze but it's like there's a turn people have

1122
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 1: been using about like trying to basically you're talking for

1123
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:06,280
Speaker 1: the guys. What is that one? Oh? Not man's playing

1124
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,399
Speaker 1: pick me? You're a pick me because I would say

1125
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 1: things about cooking or doing little things, and I would

1126
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 1: be really confused about to pick me comment. But it's

1127
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 1: because it wasn't cool to be softer or to like

1128
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 1: show men that attitude. And maybe it was like my

1129
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 1: relationship with my dad, so I haven't had to have

1130
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 1: a guard up, whereas a lot of my friends didn't

1131
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 1: have that luxury. But I do realize today that like

1132
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,920
Speaker 1: it's just becoming up acceptable for women to be like that,

1133
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,399
Speaker 1: and I hope what happens for men is that men

1134
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 1: that do want those deeper connections with women, they take

1135
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 1: that approach. Hey, maybe even when she's asking for dick,

1136
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: let me hold it back a little bit because I

1137
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 1: can see something with this girl which men probably aren't

1138
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 1: doing because it's it's a lot more pressure for a

1139
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 1: dude not to want to fuck you. Oh what are

1140
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 1: you gay? That's the first thing I'm thinking. So I

1141
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 1: set it on this podcast, or or you gotta outbreak,

1142
00:55:56,200 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: or you all answered the question that you just asked,

1143
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 1: and that has been my experience. I'm like, but if

1144
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,399
Speaker 1: I like you, we can chill. Even if we have sex,

1145
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 1: like you said, with black cheese, I can give you that. Well,

1146
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 1: it could be fair. There isn't unlearning unfortunately that has

1147
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:14,800
Speaker 1: taken place with us. And I think I'm so grateful

1148
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 1: for this show because even the things that I experienced,

1149
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 1: I let everyone know I've only been with black men.

1150
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 1: And so my friends have said, girl, how you be fine?

1151
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:25,959
Speaker 1: And how you be fining these men that be letting

1152
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,320
Speaker 1: you do all this? And I'm like, they're probably the

1153
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 1: same men that you do. You just don't make them

1154
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 1: feel safe. You don't allow them. They don't trust you

1155
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,960
Speaker 1: with the things that they're really into. And a lot

1156
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 1: of black men will literally come to me. I used

1157
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 1: to Oh my god, I used to call myself the

1158
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 1: buddhahole whisper one time, like all these men like let

1159
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: me know the things they were into, and they were like,

1160
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 1: you're the only girl that knows this. You're the only

1161
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 1: part of it is setting the container. And the other

1162
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 1: thing is there's language that you can use that will

1163
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 1: let men know I'm not safe here. M. Can you

1164
00:56:56,719 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: give some examples of what those things could be just

1165
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 1: before we get out of here, because any any woman

1166
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 1: listening that really maybe wanting to dive deeper into kink

1167
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 1: or let let you know men know that she's open

1168
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 1: and not judgmental. What are things that are normally said

1169
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: by women that make you not feel safe with their

1170
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 1: with their views on sexuality? Some of them? So I'll

1171
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 1: give you some actions. So um, I'll say, hey, you know, Wheezy, today,

1172
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 1: I was really emotional and I was sad, and I

1173
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 1: just felt like I wasn't strong enough to do this

1174
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,479
Speaker 1: if you don't stop being a punk ass, yeah, weak ass?

1175
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: Man up? Why are you crying things like that? So

1176
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 1: when I'm trying to show you the full breath of

1177
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 1: my humanness and you call it gay, soft, weak, punk pussy.

1178
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 1: And it's funny that the words that we use to

1179
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: describe weakness are the strong strong, but we use words

1180
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 1: about women to describe weakness. So anytime that you describe

1181
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:54,600
Speaker 1: me being emotional and equate that to a feminine traite, yeah,

1182
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 1: you're telling me I'm not safe to show you that

1183
00:57:56,600 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 1: I'm a human. Wow. Um, anytime we're watching TV like

1184
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 1: that fag of ass, you're like, well, anytime a dude

1185
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 1: does anything and your comment is negative about their mannerisms,

1186
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: not being strong, not being masculine. If a man cries,

1187
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:13,560
Speaker 1: my friend, if a man cries in front of you,

1188
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 1: the best thing you can do is hold them and

1189
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,479
Speaker 1: say thank you, thank you for showing me that side

1190
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 1: of you. You're not safe. That would make make a

1191
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 1: person feel right now, we were on a date and

1192
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 1: you just burst out in tears. If we don't know

1193
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:25,400
Speaker 1: it's that way, you may think I'm gonna judge you.

1194
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: But if I show you I'm here with you and

1195
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna hold space, people like, but damn, I

1196
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: can be myself in front of them. They're not gonna

1197
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 1: act weird. Do you think if people, specifically women aren't

1198
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: using terms like the F word or like calling someone

1199
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 1: a bitch or a punk, and they say things like

1200
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 1: I want a man who's gonna be this, this, that,

1201
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:44,720
Speaker 1: and they're like trying to maybe show you how they

1202
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 1: or they'll even say they want someone masculine. I think

1203
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: that's the same thing. It is the same thing, yeah,

1204
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 1: because I've seen that a lot too, where girls are

1205
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 1: overdoing this manly man they want. It's like, girl, my friend,

1206
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,720
Speaker 1: my best friend. He know how to hang shit up

1207
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 1: on the walls, So my friend does that often. She'll

1208
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 1: go out with with guys a lot, and the first

1209
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 1: thing she tells me is, girl, I think I don't

1210
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 1: think he's all the way straight. And I'd be like,

1211
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 1: well why, and she would just be like his manner.

1212
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 1: It would like even if they're not, even if they're not,

1213
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 1: if they treat you, Brianna said, it makes me feel

1214
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 1: like I'm the only girl in the world. If somebody

1215
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 1: does that to you and they're honest about who they are,

1216
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 1: why do you care? What is keeping you from being happy?

1217
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 1: So if we're so, if let's say even I'm Polly,

1218
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: I can enter into anogamus relationship. So yeah, I'm paying

1219
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 1: sexual bless say I'm dating Mandy and she's like, I'm

1220
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 1: a monogamous don't ain't nobody else? So we're monogamous. That

1221
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:42,520
Speaker 1: means I'm no longer having sex with a dude. There's

1222
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:45,480
Speaker 1: no competition. It's a shoe, So then what is your issue?

1223
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 1: I actually think though what you're saying, Polly, for me,

1224
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,440
Speaker 1: most people are not able to make you feel like

1225
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 1: the only girl in the world. I have a very

1226
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 1: close friend who's in a Polly relationship where they feel

1227
00:59:57,440 --> 00:59:59,919
Speaker 1: like that person is fluctuating so much on the Kis

1228
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 1: scale that they're not being catered to. It. It's like, hey,

1229
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: one day, my partner just may want a woman more

1230
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:07,080
Speaker 1: and may want a man more, and it's like I

1231
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 1: get left out. And I've had the experience that with Polly.

1232
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:11,560
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't know how to manage that.

1233
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 1: I think you're speaking from a place of maturity and experience.

1234
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: And I don't know how long you've been Polly, but

1235
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: just your age alone shows me what's the difference between

1236
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 1: me and Polly having multiple friends a lot. So this

1237
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 1: is my question. Do you do you love your your

1238
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 1: platonic friends? Yes? Do you hang out with your platonic friends?

1239
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 1: Not as much as my partner? Okay, well that's your

1240
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:36,200
Speaker 1: own personal boundary. It's not a personal boundary I have

1241
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: the I don't have time to sexually. I would say,

1242
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 1: like please or even gratify all twenty of my friends

1243
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 1: right like, But but that's not the basis of almost

1244
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,480
Speaker 1: any serious relationship. It's not just sex. But I'm saying

1245
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,200
Speaker 1: just that a lot. But I'm just saying but the

1246
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: main difference between my platonic friends. I don't fuck them, yes,

1247
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 1: but you have the capacity to love them though, right,

1248
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:00,480
Speaker 1: I do. But I can't eat and show up for

1249
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 1: some of them motherfuckers all the time. Think about how

1250
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:04,720
Speaker 1: hard it is to catch up with a friend for lunch.

1251
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: But that's fine though. So in my life because of

1252
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 1: what I do for work, I'm literally I'm not gonna

1253
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 1: be home. I'm traveling now. I'll probably be home fifteen

1254
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 1: days this month, and then I'm gonna be out. So

1255
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 1: even if we lived together, I still need time alone.

1256
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 1: It's not about another person. Sometimes we're so jealous of

1257
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 1: somebody's time. It's like, what are you doing with your time?

1258
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 1: That this wasn't this was? Actually sometimes it's been monogamous.

1259
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think that that's the case. I'm not

1260
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 1: a jealous person, but I also and I need more

1261
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 1: accessibility to time. I would say then I could share

1262
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 1: with if you had four girlfriends. But even if I

1263
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 1: was monogamous, so well, for me, I picked partners based

1264
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 1: on certain things. Even if for a monogamous you have

1265
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 1: to understand one of my time, my own, I can

1266
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:58,200
Speaker 1: give you forty percent of it. I still have to work, right,

1267
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: you still got a life, of course, so I'll side

1268
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 1: of us, ree, lady, we still have lives. So if

1269
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 1: your life is not busy and full, it's gonna be

1270
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 1: hard for us to deal with each other because even

1271
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 1: if it's not another person, I gotta practice, I gotta train,

1272
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 1: I gotta travel. Honestly, it's life is life, and for me,

1273
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm almost too busy to date some one. Pot amiss.

1274
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 1: Right now I'm dating someone on a different coast and

1275
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: we're like matching calendars to figure out what time works

1276
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 1: between whose work. How the fuck he have time for

1277
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:26,920
Speaker 1: it I'm doing. I'm doing a Granted, if there was

1278
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:30,400
Speaker 1: another person near by him to maybe fill up the days, sure,

1279
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: but I'll tell you right now that if I was

1280
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,040
Speaker 1: coming to LA for forty eight hours and he had

1281
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:36,240
Speaker 1: a date tomorrow, that wouldn't be a But that's the

1282
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 1: boundary you walk in. You can outside of sexual this conversation.

1283
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 1: I feel like then my last relationship was a poly relationship,

1284
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:48,680
Speaker 1: and he had a problem with all of my partners.

1285
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: And when I say partners, I still gave a lot

1286
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 1: of time to my friends. So every Sunday I'm at

1287
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 1: a scient's watching this, I'm flying to Atlanta for Crystal,

1288
01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 1: especially when she was going she was going through Keimo

1289
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 1: at one point, and I was making sure I got

1290
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 1: to go to Atlanta for this Medina comes up where

1291
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:09,040
Speaker 1: I fly to support her like And that was one

1292
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:12,400
Speaker 1: actually question that he had. He felt like confused as

1293
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 1: to how I could show up for all these other people,

1294
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:17,320
Speaker 1: and I had to let him know, these people are

1295
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,120
Speaker 1: in my life. You have to accept the time that

1296
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 1: I give them. I will give you the time that

1297
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 1: I can give you. But these people, even though we're

1298
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:27,440
Speaker 1: in a relationship, that doesn't change. And the fact that

1299
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 1: a lot of them don't live here was one thing.

1300
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 1: He got a lot of my time. But we even

1301
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 1: argued sometimes because I always make time for my friends.

1302
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 1: So I would invite him out a lot of times,

1303
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,200
Speaker 1: and I'd be with my friends because I still have

1304
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 1: to give them time and love and be attentive to

1305
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 1: their needs the same way I am for yours. So

1306
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 1: you actually explaining this makes me feel like going into

1307
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 1: my next relationship. Not to say that Polly always has

1308
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 1: to be sexual. I remember we had King nore On

1309
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:58,080
Speaker 1: here and he talked about like, well, I'm not gonna

1310
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 1: like everything you like, so I have tout space for

1311
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 1: you to be able to do other things with other people.

1312
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 1: That you are very two different daters than I am,

1313
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:13,600
Speaker 1: and there's nothing wrong with either. I expect when my

1314
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 1: friends get in a relationship, they have less time for me,

1315
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 1: and I have no issue with that, but not a

1316
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: fucking problem. But my end goal is children. So when

1317
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:27,320
Speaker 1: I find a partner that I'm interested in and I'm

1318
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:31,919
Speaker 1: seeing it go there, when I have kids, I'm really

1319
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 1: not going to be spread And like, being a mom

1320
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:37,040
Speaker 1: is something I wanted before any other career passion. So

1321
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:40,200
Speaker 1: when I'm starting to court and date a partner that

1322
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:43,960
Speaker 1: i'm that I'm falling for, those relationships do dwindle. I

1323
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,000
Speaker 1: make time for them, don't get me wrong, but like

1324
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna be you just said every Sunday with

1325
01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:50,600
Speaker 1: a Sunday right, I have a homegirl every Friday I'm

1326
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 1: out to dinner with. That was just our thing in La.

1327
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 1: That's actually gone now because the dude that I'm dating

1328
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 1: is free now on these weekends right whereas the weeks

1329
01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:59,520
Speaker 1: are busy. So she expects that to be one because

1330
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 1: I need to know you're that for the future. I

1331
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 1: want I don't disagree with that, but I will say this.

1332
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 1: The reason why I invest time in the people that

1333
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:12,200
Speaker 1: I love, regardless of our type of relationship, is if

1334
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:15,880
Speaker 1: my partner dies, if my partner I break up, you

1335
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:17,920
Speaker 1: have to hold space for the people that you just

1336
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:20,360
Speaker 1: agreed because a lot of people let their friends go,

1337
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:22,440
Speaker 1: which is really fucked out a lot of you. But

1338
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 1: I definitely prioritize like my parents, if you won't let

1339
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 1: your friends go for your relationship and your own person's success,

1340
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 1: don't do it for a person. So if you're not

1341
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:34,120
Speaker 1: willing to give up time for your own success, I

1342
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:35,840
Speaker 1: put time into practice in trump because I want to

1343
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 1: be successful. So that's my first relationship to self. If

1344
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:39,840
Speaker 1: I can't give me that, I don't have time for

1345
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:42,560
Speaker 1: nobody else but for me. And I think the happy

1346
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 1: medium is like what y'll both do, including the trumpet

1347
01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:48,200
Speaker 1: with them, I try to and then you letting him

1348
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 1: come out with friends, if you don't integrate your partner

1349
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 1: with your friendships, if you're actually going to give that

1350
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:54,800
Speaker 1: much time, because this is one thing, I left it

1351
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:56,360
Speaker 1: up to him because I'm not gonna lie. I'm a

1352
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 1: person I don't want to be involved with any of

1353
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:03,280
Speaker 1: my friends in the partners, I don't want that person

1354
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 1: to be my friend, so I always let it up

1355
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:06,720
Speaker 1: to him, Hey, if you want to see me, I'm

1356
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:08,840
Speaker 1: out with this person right now. But I never like

1357
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,200
Speaker 1: bombarded him with hanging with my friends. But if he

1358
01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,560
Speaker 1: wanted to see me, just know I'm showing up for

1359
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:15,920
Speaker 1: someone else right now. You're more than welcome to join us.

1360
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 1: But that's really that's healthy. That's that's what I did

1361
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 1: with him, because it wasn't like I'm going to invite

1362
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 1: people out. I'm out. If you really want to see me,

1363
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 1: come join. But I also want to say I don't

1364
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:28,600
Speaker 1: mean giving a partner like five days a week of

1365
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:30,440
Speaker 1: my time. That's something I actually can't just afford to

1366
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:34,280
Speaker 1: give right now. But if I really do have, like

1367
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 1: right now, I'm here in New York for five days,

1368
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:37,440
Speaker 1: if I was seeing someone for five days in New

1369
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 1: York as many friends as I need to see, if

1370
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:42,600
Speaker 1: I was dating someone, I might have to catch those

1371
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 1: home girls on the next trip to prioritize the relationship.

1372
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 1: That again, I have an end goal with a relationship

1373
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:52,400
Speaker 1: for me right now, like motherhood, I'm thirty two years old.

1374
01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 1: As Mandy just told me a few hours ago. I'm

1375
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: thirty one for another three weeks, but like, no, like

1376
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 1: my clock is tick and so it's like I'm a

1377
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:06,120
Speaker 1: lot more intentional. And my bitch has been my bitches

1378
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 1: for everyo. Like we've been in the clothes forever. We

1379
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 1: even on trips forever. I much like you. We internationally

1380
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 1: trip with our friends, you know what I mean. And

1381
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 1: sometimes I have those waves with them that I appreciate

1382
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 1: that they understand too, because I kind of need that

1383
01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:20,360
Speaker 1: right now, you know what I mean, Like when I

1384
01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:23,200
Speaker 1: have more free time and I'm single as shit. Hell yeah, bitch,

1385
01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:24,560
Speaker 1: you got me in Italy for four weeks so we

1386
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:26,480
Speaker 1: could trick off on a boat. But I do think

1387
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:28,680
Speaker 1: in this minute now, we was just talking about you.

1388
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:34,040
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because we've about to go. We're talking about

1389
01:07:34,120 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 1: making time for friends except for you, and I said

1390
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:38,320
Speaker 1: that Sundays would be every Sunday. We're about to go

1391
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,160
Speaker 1: get drinks. Anyway, this is this is my friend and

1392
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:44,400
Speaker 1: my my ex was jealous of in my Polly relationships.

1393
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:48,160
Speaker 1: I didn't know I was Polly until now, but I'm

1394
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:51,240
Speaker 1: Polly with my friendships and it's crazy because I love

1395
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:54,080
Speaker 1: them and I let them know my friend got a

1396
01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:56,960
Speaker 1: family tree. Oh yeah, my friends come before my partners.

1397
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,280
Speaker 1: My career comes before my partners. And that is something

1398
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:01,400
Speaker 1: that they have to accept when they come into my life.

1399
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 1: And I tell people the same thing because it love.

1400
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:07,919
Speaker 1: Don't pay bills. It showed up. Listen, I tell my partners, listen,

1401
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 1: if I have to work, the one thing I don't want,

1402
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 1: you don't don't complain about me working. You can complaining

1403
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 1: about me not given, not being intentive, not being intentional.

1404
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:18,639
Speaker 1: A lot of things I have to work. I have goals.

1405
01:08:19,120 --> 01:08:22,120
Speaker 1: My life. Goals are more because my life goes more important.

1406
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 1: Videos you put out some cats in my life goes

1407
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 1: a very important. I love that it affords me the

1408
01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:31,040
Speaker 1: luxury and the things that I do enjoy. I love that.

1409
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:34,080
Speaker 1: I love that. Well for anyone listening, for anyone who

1410
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 1: enjoyed you. By the way, the conversation today, great, hope

1411
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,439
Speaker 1: that you guys took a lot from it. They were like,

1412
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:42,160
Speaker 1: y'all could have talked way more about For those that

1413
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:46,960
Speaker 1: want to support you, follow you on only fans or

1414
01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:49,160
Speaker 1: support any of your links, where can they where can

1415
01:08:49,160 --> 01:08:52,080
Speaker 1: they follow in support? So it's naked? Trumpeter on Twitter

1416
01:08:52,720 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 1: Instagram and fed life. For only fans, It's Naked Trumpeter

1417
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:59,680
Speaker 1: xxx and Black on Black Love xxx kind of the

1418
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:03,160
Speaker 1: way all of those will be in the description of

1419
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 1: this episode. We truly, truly, truly hope that you enjoyed

1420
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:09,760
Speaker 1: this episode, because baby, this is how we wrapping up

1421
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 1: Black History Month. Any again, Thank you guys for tuning in.

1422
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:18,040
Speaker 1: Make sure you check out our patree on as patreon

1423
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 1: dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. You'll get to see some

1424
01:09:21,280 --> 01:09:25,160
Speaker 1: great bts from our taping today here at WTF Media. Y'all.

1425
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:27,479
Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning in Yet again, this has been

1426
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 1: another episode of horrible Decisions.