WEBVTT - #39 Return of the Stanger 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.400 Hell I Suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:10.399 and I Heart Radio podcast. All Right, hello everybody, and 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:12.200 thank you for tuning into an all new episode of 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:14.520 Help I Suck At Dating. My name is Jared, I'm 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:17.280 with Vanessa and we have a very special guest in studio. 0:00:17.520 --> 0:00:19.799 There's really no introduction needed. You know who she is. 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:24.400 For million Dollar Matchmaker, we have Patty Stanger. Yeah, thanks guys, 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:26.720 thanks for having me. Patty, thank you so much for 0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:30.800 joining us. Okay, Vanessa's on the line. I'm such a yeah, 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:33.000 I'm such a fanity. First of all, guys, a little update. 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:34.800 I do you know that I? Do you know that? I? 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:37.440 But did you know that I picked you from the 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:40.200 first episode that a Lot and Bennett, who are the showrunners, 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:43.200 are the Bachelor. Big shout out to them. Jay kind 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:45.000 of punched me and they said, who do you think 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:47.639 is gonna win? I said Vanessa and it was they 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:49.920 were trying to push me in the Curran field. I said, 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:53.080 he don't go for blonds. He's a brunette guy. You 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.400 can't blame me on this. And I would call Daniel 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:56.720 and Vinnie on the back channel night. Come on, you 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:58.440 gotta tell me again. Tell me. They're like, you're close, 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.240 but they wouldn't give me any information. And I picked you. 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:04.800 You were my front runner but for that. But when 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:07.480 Freddie marked into the studio, I heard her talking about 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:10.520 how she wants to but no, here's the way way 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.840 to slow down. I have equal opportunity for male and females, 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:16.800 and all bachelor and bachelor girls are welcome. Olivia Cardi 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:18.560 is one of my friends brand All of them are 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:22.120 out there. But my assistant saw your ex twice this 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:25.319 week at Whole Foods and girls were swarming, and I 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:28.040 think he just likes to walk. Next time she sees him, 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:29.280 is gonna take off a shirt and walk down the 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:31.959 Whole food sile. I mean that's basically what's happening here. 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:33.840 I mean he's looking good. I would do that too 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.000 if him. Okay, so you wouldn't. Would you move back? 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:38.280 Are you living in l A? Are you still in Canada? 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:42.440 So I'm back. I'm back home in Montreal. I was 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:47.120 in Toronto, yeah the second I was in Toronto right now? Florida? Wait, 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:50.920 what part of Florida? I'm from there? Are you from Laterdale? 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:53.960 I went to Universus Miami. I'm from Miami. All right, 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:55.880 so this is what I will do. I will fix 0:01:55.920 --> 0:02:01.560 you up. The you look Jared no Whets guys on 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.120 so old that the years that they were the number 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:06.040 one football team in the world before they took Payola 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:08.280 was when I was there. That's all old I am. 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:10.720 But I'm old enough. You all could be my prom children. 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.440 Stop that now you don't look at but Vanessa, I'm 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:15.239 going to fix you up, and Jared's gonna give me 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:17.200 your information and we're gonna we're gonna get this party 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:19.120 started because I know a lot of Florida guys. Wait 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:20.560 a minute, Vanessa, you're saying you're gonna go on a 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:24.600 million dollar Matchmaker. Maybe actually we might be doing match 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:27.440 Real Matchmaker, Like maybe Bravo will want to do Matt 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:30.960 Real Matchmaker. Okay, so because I have a feeling that God, 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:34.440 you would be really good on Matchmaker. Actually yeah, and 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.840 Jared and and Ashley should come on and give some advice. 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:41.840 I always want to know because I was there during 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:45.959 the Jared and Ashley instant, had backstory on that. I 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.679 love to hear some story later on. We still got Vanessa. 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:50.839 So Vanessa, I totally will fix you up. I would 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.359 probably give some dating advice. There a couple of things 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.440 I didn't like what you do, so I will criticize 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:59.720 you a little bit. That would be criticism involved. Yes, well, 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:03.119 I'm I just feel like when I feel like Nick 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:05.400 is too close to the to the vest, like, I 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:07.400 feel like we need to get you a warmer guy. 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:10.760 You were warm and you were trying to melt that iceberg, 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.400 and you can't melt an iceberg. So I'd rather you 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.959 get someone that water seeks its own level. Sorry, Nick, 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:19.560 and I'm telling the truth. Wow, I don't even know 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:21.480 what to say to that. Holy well, here we go. 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:25.359 Tough love. I like it. Um, So, Vanessa, do you 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.920 have any questions for Patty? Yes, well I'm so hardy 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:30.840 questions Patty. When I found out you were coming on, 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:34.440 I am such a newstand of yours on all the shows. 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:38.040 My favorite episode was actually when um, there was someone 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:43.560 from chilc that came on. Uh Chili Chili, Yes, yes, yes, chill. 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.360 She was our first episode on the Celebrity season. That 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:48.440 was funny because that was our show winner's idea. Spike 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:50.920 van Breson, who is the show inner for the Hills 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.240 in the City and U X factor in a whole 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:56.280 bunch of other stuff. He actually produced a million dollar 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.400 and millionaire matchmaker, and he wanted us to sit in 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:02.080 on the Day eight and like criticize it. And I 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:04.240 no one ever did that before other than the other 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:06.560 than the Manzos. But the Manzos was a lie because 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.080 nobody knew those two guys, you know, the Suns, were 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.840 really the daters. So it was a really exciting episode, 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:14.200 and Chili was shocked. She was just shocked. It was 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:19.080 really good television with anyone. So I think, you know, 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.040 a lot of these problems. A lot of the problems 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.240 are is once you're in the bubble, like we all are, 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:26.600 it's hard to date down. So I think when you 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:29.000 do find a normal guy, as civilian as I like 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:31.400 to call it, you really have to want a civilian. 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.360 But most of us want our own level. So that's 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:39.839 another problem with the same game, either celebrity or someone 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:43.719 in the business who understands you, because like the director, producer, writer, 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:46.600 someone who actually knows the way our work schedules are. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:48.280 I get a lot of complaints like, oh, you're not 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:50.359 you're so busy, but I go through spurts of busy 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:53.240 and slow, so I don't have a regular nineifi job 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:55.280 like everybody else. You know, it's in so a lot 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:57.599 of my the MENNI dat are like I can't handle this, 0:04:57.880 --> 0:04:59.919 and they don't like the carpet or they don't like 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:02.360 your businesses though you're in. You know, nobody likes that 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:06.640 I'm a matchmaker. They're jealous. I'm gonna trade up. Yeah. Interesting, No, 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:08.920 that's a fair point. Are you dating anyone right now? No? 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:10.720 I'm single right now, so I know what it's like. 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:15.880 I'm actually really single. Yeah, me too, really really, but 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:17.720 you're not gonna be single for long. I feel like 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:21.920 when the next four months you're gonna meet your single? Yeah? 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.480 I dated? Oh yeah, what's going on? Update? There's been 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:27.240 a boy, there's been a boy. There's been a man. 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.920 Who's the boy? Who's the boy? That there was someone? 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:33.160 While there was someone, Um, I'll think Canada. I'll pink 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:36.400 canacause ham Inflorida, so I'll think Canada. Um that I 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:40.920 was dating, but that didn't didn't look out. Um, but 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:42.880 it didn't work out for the for the for the 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:45.120 right reasons, you know, like we're for the right reasons. 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:49.000 If I had a nickel Okay, wait is he Montreal. 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.960 Is he Montreal or Calgary? Is he Calgary Montreal? But 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:56.760 he is he Montreal St. Luc Or Hampstead code St. 0:05:56.800 --> 0:06:01.440 Lucar Hampstead because my ex boyfriend and Mark Ruber, yes 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:04.840 from Coach St. Luke, and I had plenty of Hampstead boys. Yeah, 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:06.880 I grew up with Florida. They all come down to 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:10.680 Hollywood on the beach. They used to go to diplomat everyone. Well, 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:12.840 I'm in for Lauderdale today and I was shopping at 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:15.440 Public and someone's like, oh my god, we're not like 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:19.719 the And I just broke up with somebody from Montreal 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.720 who lived in Calgary. I just I don't know something. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.800 They're really by the way, Montreal guys can really kiss, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:27.880 just putting that on the map. They know how to 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:32.680 French kiss, like most of it's European. California guys cannot kiss. 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:34.159 So I don't know what the story. Yeah, but there's 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:37.159 a huge French Montreal. But Jared can kiss. So maybe 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.919 Jay is going to get kissing lessons. Yeah. I saw 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:46.040 that you can kiss National TV. I like it. Um 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.240 So Patty, So Patty, what's new? So you said your 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:50.120 single right now? Right now? So what's going on in 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:52.160 your life. Well, I took a break off television for 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:53.720 a year. I know it isn't shocking, and I went 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:55.680 into the script and there's gonna be something really huge. 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.040 It'll be announced in the next two weeks in scripted television. 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:01.200 That's very exciting. And um, some other things on my website. 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:03.359 We're about building my website right now to make it 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.000 an informational membership channel. You can go to Patty Knows 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:08.280 dot com register and it'll be launched in the next 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:11.200 probably by Valentines of next year. And it's really going 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:13.360 to be it's gonna be like I give webinars and 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.640 I give you. I'm gonna call you personally and give 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:18.160 you advice, a lot of a lot of products we 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:21.400 have attracting a soulmate. We have the Millionaire Secret talks 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.680 with Jovitelli from the Secret how to become a Millionaire 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:27.360 for business, and then we also have Patty's Playbook, which 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:29.560 A're gonna listen to every day and you're gonna be 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:31.240 able to get married in a year. All the men 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.080 are gonna hate us for any year. I'm gonna teach 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:35.040 them how to rope that ring in well, you're going 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.440 to teach the guys and girls girls, but I have 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:39.680 guy stuff. The millionaire secret talk is really for the 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:43.120 guys so they can become rich, and then you want 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:45.600 the girls to marry those rich guys. Can I say, oh, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:49.200 we're on a podcast. It's like Proba weren't eye heart, 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:51.480 I can tesk of it. Yeah, we'll believe that right out. 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:54.840 Don't you worry about that, don't have Yes, we have 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.880 millionaire women too, which is really hard because they never 0:07:57.920 --> 0:07:59.960 want to date down. They want Bill Gates that look 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:02.680 like Brad Pitt, like that doesn't exist, get a life 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:06.680 and you know what, well, oh yeah, because there's so 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:08.680 many of them running around. Have you looked at the 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:12.760 Forbes four hundred nine, Okay, and other than Kylie Jenner, 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:17.800 which is you know, yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. Um, well, 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:20.400 so you said that's launching in Valentine's next Yeah, but 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:22.320 you can. What you're gonna do is you're gonna register now. 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.640 In the next six months, I'm gonna personally call you. 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:27.320 I might do a webinar. We're doing little things along 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.560 the way, but the official launch is probably two thousand, 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:33.160 nineteen Valentine's Day because it'll have everything on this one side. 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:35.640 So we're getting we're launching soon. And I noticed when 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:38.559 I said a million Dollar Matchmaker, you just said matching. Well, 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.360 I mean I love we, Thanks Mark Jaris, I love you. 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:44.319 We I love we. But Matchmaker is really where I 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:46.800 was known for. Its a different kind of show. So 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:49.120 it was what she was describing was chili. It's not 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:51.800 the same show as Million Dollar match Breaker, which is 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:54.240 what Ashley was on. And there is the original and 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:57.280 the authentic to that show that it's still iconic. It's 0:08:57.280 --> 0:09:00.320 in two hundred countries, it's on Hulu and Amazon. Um. 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.920 Bravo was so wonderful to me during that period, and 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:05.319 I kind of miss it. It's like going back to 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:07.400 high school. I missed my old team, you know. But 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:10.920 I still love we. It's just a different energy. My audience, really, 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:12.880 to be honest with you, is that Bravo. I mean, 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:14.520 I have to be honest. That was a bigger audience 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:17.360 and it was our real audience. We started that network, me, 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:19.760 Jeff and Vicky was like, we were the first three shows, 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:22.840 you know, on the air, before Kathy and The Inside 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:25.440 the Actor's Studio and Andy's Show. So we were one 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:28.040 of the originals. So I still miss that place. That's all. 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:30.600 I could always go back. But I mean, I love 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:32.839 the fact that Bravo has grown so much up the 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:36.320 years and of my friends are all stars now and 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:39.800 the ratings are amazing. And Francis was my development but 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.400 because she was my vice president at the time. Now 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:43.920 she's president the network, and she made that network go 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:47.360 with Shari Levine, who's my who's my VP. And they 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.280 really did an amazing job because you have to realize, 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:51.680 we we had a point where we're in this building, 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:54.520 We're in this building in Burbank, and Bravo was in 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:56.760 this building and they didn't have receptionists. You had to 0:09:57.120 --> 0:09:59.679 knock on the door and buzz and there was nobody. 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:01.920 There are And now I look at it and they're huge, 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:05.840 they're universal now, you know, yeah, right, Holy crap, um, 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:07.880 So what was I gonna say? So, you're a third 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:10.800 generation matchmakerrect that's what you're known for. How did you 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:13.240 even get into the matchmaking business? My my grandmother and 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:15.800 my mother did it for the local temple. And I like, 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.120 I was Jewish and I in Jersey and I liked 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:20.960 all them boys, all the non Jewish boys, all the blonde, 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:24.320 all American arian types. So I went to christ Church 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:28.240 dance with my girlfriends who were Jewish, and we like 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:30.240 these gentle boys. So I was fixing all my friends 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:31.840 up and the priest came over and he's like, you know, 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:33.880 this is a job. You need to do this for 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:36.120 a living. You're really good at this, and I went 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:40.080 I am. And as things went on, my mother and 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:42.280 my grandmother were getting really busy with their business. And 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.480 then I went to work for Great Expectations, the largest 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.640 dating service in Florida, in Boca and in Miami. And 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:49.360 that's how I learned the business. And you're so known 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:51.240 for tough love, but you're the sweetest person ever. You 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.120 give all such warm vibes. I was a little nervous 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:56.960 coming in now because I remember your text Jared. I 0:10:56.960 --> 0:10:58.719 read all your texts from Ashley when you were on 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:00.680 when she was on the show. I don't remember what 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:03.600 I sell the phone from her and she flipped out 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.280 on me. And I'm going to tell you something psychically 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:09.280 I saw with the two of you. Okay, so this 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.800 is the truth. Actually, let's give a little so actually 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:13.959 it was million dollar. So actually was a million dollar match. 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:17.160 Make y ago but probably like three years ago, and 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.200 she was she was madly in love with Jair okay, 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:22.680 and they told me her dog had died and don't 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.520 and don't mention the jay word. Don't mention the J word. 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:26.839 I'm like, well, what am I going to talk about? 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:29.440 So my Showmrinner got a little tough on her, and 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:31.800 she of course started to cry, you know, crying virgin 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:34.760 all that. And I said, Ashley, give me your phone. 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:36.920 Who's calling you? And she goes, you know who? And 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:38.280 I go give me the phone. I started reading the 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:41.040 texas said he likes you, and she goes, no, he doesn't, 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:42.959 he doesn't want me. And I said, no, you're wrong. 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.320 I said, you need to start dating someone else because 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:46.760 this is the type of person that's going to get 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:51.040 jealous and steal you from the guy true story. Ask 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:53.200 her that it's on tape. We might have not put 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:55.360 it in at it, but it was there, and she said, 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:57.120 you're wrong, you're wrong. Right, So I'm gonna get you 0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:58.800 this really hot guy. We're gonna cut his hair. I 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:00.280 don't know if you're gonna end up with then it's 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.080 gonna be really jealous. I was doing it to make 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:06.080 you jealous. That was my goal. And so at the time, 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:09.640 you know, I set a look astrologically, because I do astrology. 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:11.960 You were faded the two of the to meet, and 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.360 you were faded to end up together. But he doesn't 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:16.600 realize at the time that he met you that you're 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:18.880 the soulmate. It might take three years later. Well. I 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:21.800 think also with Ashley specifically, it was more of the 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.320 idea of who I should be with my entire life. 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.040 I always thought I should be with someone quiet and 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:27.720 shine like. That was the type that I was always 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:29.520 attracted to, and I always saw myself ending up with. 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.520 So when I meant Astley, it was like, no, this 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:33.760 is She's loud and proud. She's like, can be complete 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:35.880 opposite of any girl I dated, or any girl I 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:38.200 could ever see myself with. So while we got along 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:39.840 and it was great, I was like I was always 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:41.719 fighting at my entire life. And then there came a 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:43.760 point I think when things changed and it wasn't so 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:46.000 much because of that anymore, and it was so much more. 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:47.679 You got to meet You were jealousy, Kevin, come on, 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:52.679 tell so tell the girls out there that sometimes a 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.440 guy doesn't know that they got it, you know, until 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:58.640 they lose it. Yeah, well, I think I absolutely agree. 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:00.480 What I'm saying with that though, is that I think 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:02.400 a lot of guys will never admit it, and I'm 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:05.120 just kind of a not an exception to the rule. 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.559 But I've realized I might be a rarity to actually 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.920 say that I didn't feel good enough to be with 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:11.880 Ashley until I realized that I needed to put my 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:13.800 insecurities side. Know this is a true story. I love 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.440 him even more. Well, it's just a true story. Is that, Like, 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.200 if I didn't face those insecurities and doubts, I would 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:21.360 never be with Ashley because that was kind of you 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.079 need to keep well, you need to do bootcamps from men. 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.080 Ashley has mentioned this before. No, I'm not kidding, you 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:29.960 would give greater relationship site and do bootcamps from men. 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.600 Like my biggest problem when I would have clients on 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:35.120 like a giving example of Vinnie's like, my baby is 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.880 the greatest guy ever. Vinnie is one of my best friends. Okay, 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.199 So Vinnie was a cliff diver. I fall in love 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:43.440 with everything, and he was opposite of Daniel, and Daniel 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.680 was like I don't love anyone, you know, because Viannel 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:47.160 was all I got to look like a certain look. 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:49.240 And then when I put them at the mixer, Daniel 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:51.680 picks not the most attractive girl that we had there 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:53.960 because they were way pretty rules there. And I said 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:57.080 why and he goes because she wasn't hungry. And so 0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:59.720 this is the thing that I'm learning with with you, Vanessa. 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.719 You have to learn that the men can smell the 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:06.160 chom in the water. They are sharks. Pull back a little, 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.520 pull back a little like in other words, like he 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:11.480 picked the girl that was in the prettiest because she 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:13.840 wasn't running after him, she wasn't chasing him. He had 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:16.679 to ask her questions. It was she was very evasive. 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:20.080 And everybody else was like Daniel, Daniel, Daniel Daniel because 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:21.640 they had seen him on The Bachelor, and she's like, 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:23.760 I don't even know what the Bachelor. She could care less. 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:27.720 My issue is that I have to be the one 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:29.600 that has to be the go getter, because I know 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.080 people think, like, oh my god, there's a lineup of men. 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.720 There isn't like I have to be the one that 0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:38.440 you sound like Olivia. Olivia says the same thing. Okay, 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:42.040 now listen, you're doing it wrong. If there's look, if 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:43.600 you want a lot of men or do you want 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:47.080 one man? I want a man. Okay, do you want 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:48.560 the man? Now? You don't want a man. You want 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:50.320 the man on the toy for you. So in order 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:51.840 to get the man on the toy, he has to 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.440 show up as the alpha for you to become the beta. 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.520 If you become the alpha, he's going to become the beta. 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.240 And then you're gonna lose interest because you're chasing. It's 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.640 exhausting to chase after a full day of hair and 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:04.480 makeup and getting your nails done. Do you really want 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:09.080 to chase? No? Okay, So so what you get in 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:10.800 the beginning is what you get in the end. So 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:12.240 then you end up you're going to do all the 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:14.000 work in the relationship, plus have the children and take 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:15.320 care of the kids. You want to do it all 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.280 because by thirty I'll be dead. So that's not what 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.760 you do, aren't you also? But aren't you also telling 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:23.440 Vanessa at the same time that she needs to pull 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:26.320 back a little bit to kind of create a chase. Yes, exactly, 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:28.640 which is what I was saying. But I do. But 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:30.920 that's the thing I don't feel you do that My 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:33.840 intuition doesn't. If I completely pulled back, then there's going 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:35.840 to be no one there. No not pulled back where 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.320 you don't answer the phone or not responsive in communication. 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:40.600 But like if you go online, you wait for them 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:42.400 to hit you up. You can pick on bumble and 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:44.560 you can pick on a tinder and say hi, I'm 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:46.680 bumble and pull back and let him ask you for them, 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:48.360 or if he gives you his number, you say, I'm 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:50.040 kind of old school. I prefer you to call me, 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:52.400 because if he calls you, that's showing, you know, out 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:54.360 of Like if I'm on Bumble and I give five 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.160 numbers out my number out to five guys, two will 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:59.800 show up calling me. The rest will just like because 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:01.680 they gave me their number, and I'm like, dude, I'm 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.800 not chasing. Like that's the end of that. If you 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:07.240 want me to call me, you're the girl, not the boy. 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:11.080 He who has the penis does the chasing. The penis 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:18.600 does the chasing. Penis does chasing. Remember, the penis goes 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:23.080 inside the vagina. The receiver there the giver. Oh, and 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:26.120 I gotta take more notes. So you're telling me what'd 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:31.480 you say? Ben, what'd you say? But think about it. 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.600 It's biology. The technology has changed, but not the biology. 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:36.440 Men are still no men. And if you allow them 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.760 to have the eleven o'clock cook up, are you allow 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:40.960 them to you ask out and set the weekend dates 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.920 or make the reservations or check in when you travel 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.160 at the airport, you become the man, and then you're 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.560 never going to come back from that as as the man. 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:50.960 You're always going to be the woman. Men in general 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:53.240 just want to provide, like they want to be the alpha. 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.360 You're Scorpio, right, because I remember you're Scorpios. Scorpios are 0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:59.320 very strong in that genre. They have emotional side to them, 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.520 but they so to a Pisces who's very intuitive and psychic, 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:05.199 like she's super psychic actually, and very sensitive and that's 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:07.480 why she cries a lot. So a scorpio man is 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.840 going to want to take and provide for his sensitive 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.000 Pisces woman. If the Pisces is the alpha, the scorpio 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.440 would run away. Would be disgusting for a scorpio. But 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:17.199 it's so interesting because now that Ashley and I have 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:20.360 been dating, engaged, she's completely she's the alpha and I'm 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.600 she's in bridezilla mode. It's not even Bridezilla mode. It's 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:24.920 just more so like I don't know if it's a 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.919 scorpio and me because but I'm I've always I'm very 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:30.280 easy going, and so like Ashley needs someone who's like 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.080 that because she's very controlling her life. So she'll just 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:33.600 tell me what to do. A lot of times, I'm like, okay, 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:35.639 that's fine. You know she's also was she was she 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:39.080 raised on East Coast or here, and she's Italian, right Italian, 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:41.640 so that's why. So it's it's the Jewish Italian thing 0:17:41.640 --> 0:17:43.480 on the East Coast where we're like, all right, we 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:45.800 got you, now, let me just handle everything. I'll do 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.240 it better. I'll make a better reservation, I'll make a 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.639 better this, better that. Well, I'll do things for her 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:55.080 obviously obviously areas where she's got the ring. You you 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:58.560