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Speaker 1: Mental health is now talked about more than ever, which

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Speaker 1: is awesome. I mean, I don't have to tell you

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Speaker 1: that it's a primary focus of on Purpose, but on

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Speaker 1: a day to day basis, many people don't know where

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Speaker 1: and generally feel better in your daily life. So many

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Speaker 1: my seven minute daily series to help you live more

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Speaker 1: Forward slash Jay for forty percent off Calm your Mind,

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Speaker 1: Change your Life. Everyone, Welcome back to on Purpose. It's

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Speaker 1: your host, Jay Shetty. I'm so excited because today we're

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Speaker 1: going to do something a little different. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: share with your conversation that I recently had where I

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Speaker 1: was being interviewed that I think you're gonna love it

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Speaker 1: was with the U Up Podcast. And if you're someone

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Speaker 1: who's been struggling with dating, this episode's for you. If

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Speaker 1: you've been struggling with an ick, this episode's for you.

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Speaker 1: And if there's a friend in your life that you

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Speaker 1: know would really appreciate some greater insights on dating and relationships,

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Speaker 1: this episode's for them. I hope you enjoy it.

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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness.

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Speaker 1: Podcast, Jay Shetty, Jay Shetty, only she.

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Speaker 2: We love a special.

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Speaker 3: Guest, very special guest. One of our most popular episodes

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Speaker 3: of last year.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if not the most, the beloved we should. So

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Speaker 2: that's how I'm gonna refer to you. It the beloved

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Speaker 2: Jay Shetty. Thank you for coming back on the show.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me back. We had

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Speaker 1: so much fun last time, so I'm looking forward to this.

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Speaker 2: So much fun. It's great to have you. I you know,

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Speaker 2: we are in awe of you and your success. I

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Speaker 2: think that that that's something we we and I you

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Speaker 2: came in the first time, and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be the guy. I don't want to you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: a cynic on everything.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and if.

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Speaker 2: That's the thing I go, I like, well, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: walked away. And but you come at things in ways

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Speaker 2: that I wouldn't come at them. I come at with

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Speaker 2: like I'm the gremlin hater.

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Speaker 3: The the like I would say, like the more like

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Speaker 3: cynical male point of view.

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Speaker 2: Right, And I sometimes I hear some of the you know,

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Speaker 2: you're such a calming, positive influence that like you can

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Speaker 2: tell people are just happy to have you in their lives, right,

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Speaker 2: Is that what it is? You think they're just happy

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Speaker 2: that like you, Like you're the friend they'd go to

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Speaker 2: when they're hungover, and you'd be like, it's gonna be fine,

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Speaker 2: this is gonna wear off.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna have some bacon, egg and cheeses. You'll be good.

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Speaker 1: I mean talking about that. I remember being the sober friend.

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Speaker 1: Early on. I was in Spain with some of my

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Speaker 1: friends and everyone was completely hammered apart from me. This

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Speaker 1: is when I'd chosen to start my you know, stopping

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Speaker 1: drinking alcohol. When I was going out and all of

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Speaker 1: my friends, I was trying to tell them that some

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Speaker 1: bad stuff was going on and that we should leave

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Speaker 1: this club. That we were at and they were like,

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Speaker 1: you're the worst friend ever having the best time.

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Speaker 4: You're ruining it. So I'm actually used to be in

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Speaker 4: that friend when.

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Speaker 2: Everyone else you're ruining the part.

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Speaker 1: I'm ruining the party because I'm trying to protect everyone

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Speaker 1: from themselves.

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Speaker 3: So you don't drink.

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Speaker 4: No, I haven't. I haven't drunk for years now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's how many years.

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Speaker 4: I think it would be fifteen years now, right?

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Speaker 2: It was? It not a big part of your life before.

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Speaker 1: It was a part of my life in the sense

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Speaker 1: of I love drinking games. I love the competitive aspect

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Speaker 1: of drinking being out. Ring a fire was something we

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Speaker 1: played a ton of when.

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Speaker 2: We were ring a fire.

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Speaker 1: So in London, I guess everyone starts drinking quite early too,

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Speaker 1: so we started like fourteen, and so the guys would

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Speaker 1: get together we'd play this game called ring a Fire

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Speaker 1: where you have this big pitcher in the middle that's

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Speaker 1: left in the middle. You all get a glass of

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Speaker 1: beer each. As far as I remember this, the picture

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Speaker 1: in the middle is surrounded by cards playing cards laid

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Speaker 1: face down, and every card has a different meaning. So

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Speaker 1: when you pick up the card, you have to do

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Speaker 1: a certain action and the last person to do it

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Speaker 1: has to drink, or the card tells you that you

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Speaker 1: have to drink first, or you have to tell a

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Speaker 1: joke and if someone doesn't laugh, then you have to drink. Like,

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Speaker 1: there's all these sounds really fun. It's so good, and

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Speaker 1: then and then every time you keep drinking more. And

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Speaker 1: my favorite one was there's one where like the more

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Speaker 1: fingers you can hold towards someone's glass of beer, the

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Speaker 1: more SIPs that they have to take, and things like that.

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Speaker 1: So it's a super fun competitive game. And I'm probably

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Speaker 1: explaining it badly and Google probably do a better job.

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Speaker 3: You will play the game without drinking, do you know

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Speaker 3: what I've.

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Speaker 4: Thought about that.

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Speaker 1: I've really thought about how we could make that fun.

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Speaker 1: But I think it was partly the fact that you

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Speaker 1: get delirious after, you know.

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Speaker 4: Just sixs.

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Speaker 2: I've never heard someone be like I was in it

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Speaker 2: for the game.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, like if they're an AA, I mean.

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Speaker 3: I can see that you kind of want to participate away, right,

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Speaker 3: I played. I played Flip Water with many of my

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Speaker 3: pregnant friends. Yeah, it's it's almost as fun.

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Speaker 2: That's a good way to put it.

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Speaker 4: I just love I love sports. I love competition.

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Speaker 3: I love Yeah, I love games.

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Speaker 2: I love it. Well, you know, everyone go listen to

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Speaker 2: Jay's podcast on Purpose. It's out. What you have the

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Speaker 2: guest list is something that you can't not acknowledge. Who's

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Speaker 2: the guest that you were like, what's I can't believe this?

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Speaker 4: Oh that's a great question. I'm glad.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you're getting into this as well. I'd love

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Speaker 1: to hear your thoughts as well and who you felt that,

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Speaker 1: because it's I feel that.

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Speaker 2: Was our He's coming back.

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Speaker 4: What Okay, that's such a great time, I think.

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Speaker 1: So I want to acknowledge that, you know, when you

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Speaker 1: launch a podcasts and you guys know this. When I launched,

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Speaker 1: when I was coming up with the idea, it was

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Speaker 1: so hard to book anyone because people have never heard

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Speaker 1: of it. There was no stats, there's no data. You're

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Speaker 1: trying to get someone to understand that you're going to

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Speaker 1: create this safe space and people don't get it. And

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Speaker 1: so I remember that day, which was five years ago.

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Speaker 1: Now the podcast is five years old, but I want

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge the first guest that made me feel that

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Speaker 1: way was when Kobe Bryant came on in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: and that was the first year the podcast had come out.

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Speaker 1: His team had reached out because his team loved what

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Speaker 1: we were doing on the show and they wanted Kobe

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Speaker 1: and I to connect.

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Speaker 2: And me, his team reaches out explain that, so like

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Speaker 2: Joe Ohio, who's sitting in their car, So this is

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Speaker 2: like his on their way to not a team.

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Speaker 1: Everyone who's in his life, so whether it's his assistant,

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Speaker 1: whether it's a publicist, whether it's a different people who

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Speaker 1: had a role in his creative company that he had

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Speaker 1: so employees, team members, and they'd mentioned to him that

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Speaker 1: they thought it would be cool for us to connect.

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Speaker 1: And so when they reached out, that to me was

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Speaker 1: huge and to have that in year one, that was

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Speaker 1: a huge honor that year that he decided to do that,

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Speaker 1: So that was pretty well be amazing.

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Speaker 2: It's a little bit like Domino was, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: Kobe did it, he felt safe absolutely, you know, then everyone, oh, oh,

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Speaker 2: I've cobbsolutely. It's a little bit like that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So I've got to give him a lot of

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Speaker 4: credit for that opportunity.

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Speaker 3: And since then, you've had everyone from like Kendall Jenner

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Speaker 3: to Michelle Obama, which is you know, you must just

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Speaker 3: be like.

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Speaker 1: I all you get to speak to I'm pinching myself

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Speaker 1: all the time. I'm feeling really, really nervous walking into

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Speaker 1: those rooms and while I'm preparing, and I'm feeling, you know,

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Speaker 1: every bit of imposter syndrome that you possibly can when

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Speaker 1: you're doing this. So, yeah, I feel super grateful every day.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it's been amazing. I mean, Kendall, was you

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Speaker 1: spoke about Kendall. I think that was a really important

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Speaker 1: one in our journey of the show. She came on

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Speaker 1: at a time when her episode just brought so many

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Speaker 1: new listeners to our universe, and I always always thank

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Speaker 1: her for that because it was amazing that people are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we haven't really heard her speak that much and not

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Speaker 1: for that long, and and you know, I think what

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Speaker 1: she shared was so powerful and insightful, Like that clip's

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Speaker 1: gone viral like a million times of her talking about

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Speaker 1: how she thinks about her youngest and she has a

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Speaker 1: picture of herself at the mirror. Yeah, and some practice

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Speaker 1: that she'd done with her therapist. And so I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm really grateful to everyone who trusts me

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Speaker 1: and trusts our space and comes on because it takes

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Speaker 1: a lot for that person, and I want to acknowledge

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Speaker 1: that it's never easy to open your heart and open

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Speaker 1: your mind in that way. And so, yeah, each of

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Speaker 1: those people that you've mentioned have have made massive shifts.

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Speaker 1: Kevin Hart came on and that was, you know, so

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Speaker 1: much fun.

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Speaker 4: Again.

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Speaker 1: He had this amazing audiobook, which people don't know Kevin

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Speaker 1: Hart for audiobooks, but his audiobook is amazing. It's called Monsters,

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Speaker 1: and he talks about all the monsters that we deal

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Speaker 1: with inside of our mind. So it's philosophical and comedic

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Speaker 1: and he's obviously reading it and it's hilarious, and you know,

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Speaker 1: being able to dive into him from the perspective of

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Speaker 1: monsters and the monsters he has inside of him, it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's a spectacular conversation. So I think, yeah,

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Speaker 1: all of these guests have made it easy for me,

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Speaker 1: and I'm really grateful.

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Speaker 3: What do you think it is about your show that

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Speaker 3: like these people again, like Kendall Jenner doesn't do it.

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Speaker 3: These aren't people aren't doing interviews constantly. What do you

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Speaker 3: think it is about your show that just makes them

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Speaker 3: want to do your show?

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Speaker 1: I think that all podcasts have a really unique offering, right,

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Speaker 1: Like I think people go on a podcast. When I

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Speaker 1: came on yours for the first time, is because from

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Speaker 1: what i'd seen and from what I was hearing from

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Speaker 1: my team, everyone's like, Jay, they're going to get into

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Speaker 1: stuff that no one else is going to ask you, Right,

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Speaker 1: this podcast is going to ask you questions when you

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Speaker 1: were talking about being cynical. My team had already said

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Speaker 1: that that there's going to be a version. Oh my

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Speaker 1: team is my you know my podcast? Yeah, yeah, my

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Speaker 1: podcast producer who is a huge fan of the show,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, I think you're going to get asked

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Speaker 1: questions that you wouldn't get asked anywhere else. And so

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Speaker 1: that's exciting for me because I also don't want to

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Speaker 1: have the same conversation. I want to have different conversation.

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Speaker 1: That's why I came here. And so I think people

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Speaker 1: coming on purpose because they know that there's going to

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Speaker 1: be a safe space to explore depths of themselves that

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Speaker 1: maybe isn't right on other platforms, And so I'm hoping

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Speaker 1: we've created a space where people can talk about their challenges,

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Speaker 1: their flaws, their imperfections, the stresses of life, the perplexities

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Speaker 1: they've had with childhood trauma, their personal mental health journeys

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Speaker 1: in a way that is relevant, accessible and practical.

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Speaker 2: I like the perspective, and that's that's usually where I

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Speaker 2: come to with everything I hear from you. It's like,

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Speaker 2: I like the road you took because I'm looking at

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Speaker 2: that and I go, like you You're like, basically, oh,

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Speaker 2: this show could open a door in my brain that

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Speaker 2: I don't mind opening, but I didn't even know was

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Speaker 2: there before exactly. I have that with like, you know,

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Speaker 2: if someone comes up to me and it's like, I

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Speaker 2: have a note for you for a joke I heard

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Speaker 2: you do, would you and it's it could be anybody,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, sometimes it's like an old dad who's

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Speaker 2: gonna tell me a borsch belt joke and I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: have to, like, you know, he's gonna like be exhausting.

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Speaker 2: But sometimes some I won't say something I don't even

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Speaker 2: know what it's going to lead to me thinking, or

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Speaker 2: a story that I've never thought of. So you know,

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Speaker 2: I understand that where you're like, oh, I'm up for

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Speaker 2: the game of okay, where will this go? But I

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Speaker 2: know it's going to be safe in a little.

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Speaker 1: Bit totally in every podcast I think placed to that, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: if you want to show a certain part of your personality,

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Speaker 1: I think there's so many podcasts to do that differently

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Speaker 1: on and so we're just trying to cater to this

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Speaker 1: side to that.

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Speaker 4: To that point, I have a question that's okay, what

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Speaker 4: do you hate?

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Speaker 3: You had a bad day?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I want I want to hear cynical, Jay, shitty?

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Speaker 2: I want to I want miserable, horrible day?

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Speaker 3: Who hate?

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Speaker 2: What do you hate? What's the last time?

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Speaker 3: On the list of approved questions, well, I want.

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Speaker 2: To, like, I want that, Jay, and I listen because

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Speaker 2: it's within us all But was there a moment? Is there?

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Speaker 2: When's the last time?

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Speaker 3: Do you get triggered?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So I'll give it a background because I'm not I'm

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Speaker 1: not a very monk way to go, I get it, No,

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Speaker 1: So I'll give a bit of background. So anger and

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Speaker 1: hatred have generally not been a part of my psychological

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Speaker 1: approach because I saw a lot of it growing up,

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Speaker 1: and so I made notes growing up going I won't

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Speaker 1: demonstrate anger in that way, I won't express hatred growing up,

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Speaker 1: So in my own homes, sow in my schools, saw

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Speaker 1: it in my extended family, Like I saw it very

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Speaker 1: very up close, in a very extreme form, and I

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Speaker 1: made a pact with myself that anger was not something

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Speaker 1: that I was going to play with because I saw

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Speaker 1: the ramifications it had with other people.

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Speaker 4: Do you think you.

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Speaker 2: Can do that with anger? Like there's people out there

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Speaker 2: that I'm sure like I get angry. I would love

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Speaker 2: to say, you don't get angry and go I guess

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Speaker 2: I'm never angry anymore. Like I think an anger is

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Speaker 2: an anger like a sneeze or is it like a car?

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying getting angry is bad, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying that we shouldn't get angry, and it's not

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Speaker 1: a natural emotion. I think it's an emotion that I

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Speaker 1: kind of negotiated with very early on because I saw

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Speaker 1: what it did, at least in the world that I

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Speaker 1: grew up in.

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Speaker 4: I've had bad days, so that, thank god.

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Speaker 3: Let's not express them in probably these.

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Speaker 1: I think if there's anything that does trigger me and

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Speaker 1: does upset me, and which is funny because what I'm

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Speaker 1: about to say is me breaking my own rule, but

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Speaker 1: it upsets me when we don't give others the benefit

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Speaker 1: of the doubt. So when I see people not giving

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Speaker 1: other people the benefit of the doubt or giving them space.

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Speaker 4: It triggers me.

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Speaker 1: But the funny thing is that means I'm not giving

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Speaker 1: that person the benefit of the doubt. So then I great,

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Speaker 1: like you know, and that's what happens. And so of

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Speaker 1: course I'm a human. I get triggered, I get upset,

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Speaker 1: I have a bad day. I think the biggest thing

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Speaker 1: for me when I'm having a bad day is probably

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Speaker 1: when I feel that someone in my life is being

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Speaker 1: unnecessarily targeted in their own life, dealing with pain, dealing

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Speaker 1: with stress, dealing with pressure, some pains coming at them

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Speaker 1: that they don't deserve that I don't understand. And so

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Speaker 1: that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 2: Do you of a time where someone in your life

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Speaker 2: was you felt wrongfully targeted? Or yourself or yourself? Do

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Speaker 2: you read things about yourself? Do you see things and

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Speaker 2: you go and you and because I listen, we were

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Speaker 2: all on yeah, and we know and what we have

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Speaker 2: to do constantly and again we have to like the

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Speaker 2: thing that is I think it's the worst podcast topic,

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Speaker 2: and we do it all the time because it's it's

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Speaker 2: it's it's like catnip, it's it's it's it's right there

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Speaker 2: for you to do is responding to feedback when ninety

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Speaker 2: nine percent of it, Like Jay, I'm sure you get

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Speaker 2: messages you've changed my life you and it's and you

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Speaker 2: probably get messages that are like I've gotten messages that

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Speaker 2: bring you to tears. You go, oh my god, this

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Speaker 2: was me talking about my farts. It's not supposed to

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Speaker 2: make you feel better about a death in your family.

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Speaker 2: And you get those messages and you probably get ninety

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Speaker 2: nine percent of those, and then you get the one

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Speaker 2: and you're like, you just want to like grab them

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Speaker 2: and go again. Benefit of the doubt? How did you

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Speaker 2: come to this such hateful space from when my goal

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Speaker 2: was positive?

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Speaker 3: How do you take yourself out of it?

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Speaker 1: And I think, don't you feel though? And I will

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Speaker 1: talk about it, but don't you feel though that over

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Speaker 1: time you've just become you've recognized that it's part of

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Speaker 1: the job. Like you've accepted that it's part of the job.

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Speaker 1: So like, for example, let's take Michelle Obama. We did

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Speaker 1: this interview with Michelle Obama, which was huge moment for Yeah,

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Speaker 1: huge moment for me. So grateful, Like you said, ninety

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Speaker 1: nine percent of the comments, so like this is interviews, right,

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Speaker 1: incredible and everything, And then at the same time you

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Speaker 1: have a lot of people going like why would you

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Speaker 1: sit down with her because of their political beliefs, or

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Speaker 1: like Jay, you sold out, or you know, why would

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Speaker 1: you do this? And what I've found is that, again

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Speaker 1: me giving that person the benefit of the doubt, that

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Speaker 1: often that remark is based on something historical far before me, right,

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Speaker 1: and has pretty much very little to do with me,

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Speaker 1: and an expectation of me that I'll never live up

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Speaker 1: to in that I'm always going to do things that's

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Speaker 1: gonna set someone and I've I've kind of come to

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Speaker 1: terms with that. And on the other side, I found

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Speaker 1: that if you actually look at the comment section of

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Speaker 1: people who actually watched the video yeah, the comment section

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Speaker 1: is completely different, Like people have actually watched the interview,

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Speaker 1: listen to the words yeah instead of the thirty second

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Speaker 1: clip or whatever it may be. If they watched the

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Speaker 1: YouTube version, you're seeing like completely transform people, even people

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Speaker 1: saying I don't agree with the politics, but this interview

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Speaker 1: helped me with this.

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Speaker 2: This this it annoys me that they have to say that,

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Speaker 2: Like it annoys me that you know, the person they

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Speaker 2: always that person well I Usually it's like, oh, you

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Speaker 2: must be an expert now because you were able to

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Speaker 2: see beyond your own initial thoughts on someone. How could

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Speaker 2: someone like I anyway?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so yes I would. Yes, my stars are just

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Speaker 4: like us. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: My personal rule is I'm happy for someone to leave

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Speaker 1: any honest opinion of theirs, as long as they're still

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Speaker 1: following me. But if someone unfolds me and wants to

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Speaker 1: leave a comment, then and it's hate and that's a comment,

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Speaker 1: So I think that's.

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Speaker 3: Feedback from anyone who doesn't.

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Speaker 4: I'll take the feedback.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like if you're saying, Jay, I've had

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Speaker 1: it with you, I'm unfollowing, and then you've unfollowed and

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Speaker 1: you've left other heightful comments to me, then it's like, well,

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Speaker 1: we're not in the same community and they were in

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Speaker 1: the same space. But if someone's following me and they

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Speaker 1: want to leave lots of comments that tell me feedback

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Speaker 1: or things they don't like, I will leave it up

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Speaker 1: there because I still consider them a part of our community.

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Speaker 3: I haven't left the conversation, right.

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Speaker 2: I kind of think of social media as my party. Yes,

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Speaker 2: and if you come in and well, I block people,

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Speaker 2: even if third because it's Tuesday, right, I randomly go through.

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Speaker 4: I like this analogy with the party. I have a

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00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 4: similar one with the house.

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Speaker 2: Well. I think of it as like, this is my party.

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Speaker 2: The music's playing. You have walked in. There are people

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Speaker 2: here dancing. I don't care how many. I don't care,

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Speaker 2: but people are happy to be here. And you came

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Speaker 2: in and go I hate this music. Let me lead

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Speaker 2: you to the door. We're going to keep the music playing,

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Speaker 2: but you got to leave. You don't want to be here.

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Speaker 2: It's okay, goodbye.

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Speaker 1: So I'm okay with someone being at the putt and

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Speaker 1: saying I don't like the music. They can stay. But

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Speaker 1: it's the person who goes all right, I don't like

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Speaker 1: the music. I'm leaving. But then they still want to

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Speaker 1: have their opinion being.

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Speaker 2: Through the window.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: This is a dating podcast. You've written a dating book,

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Speaker 3: Eight Rules of Love, which was great. I read it amazing.

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00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 3: If you guys haven't read it yet from our last episode,

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00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 3: you should check it out now anywhere books are sold,

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00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 3: I assume. But what you so, you've done a lot

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Speaker 3: of research on love, you wrote a whole book about it.

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Speaker 3: What do you think if you look at like the

438
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 3: dating landscape now, what do you think is like the

439
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 3: biggest issue? Because there's a lot of people who are,

440
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 3: I feel like, very frustrated with it, and I mean

441
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 3: from from from emails a lot of women. What do

442
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 3: you feel like is the is the biggest mistake people

443
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 3: are making when they're dating.

444
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 1: I think the biggest mistake people are making when they're

445
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:18,719
Speaker 1: dating right now is that their list of ix and

446
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 1: turnoffs are so long and so wide and so far

447
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 1: arranging that you may miss out on an incredible human

448
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:32,439
Speaker 1: being because they wear jewelry and you know, and you know,

449
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: drink their.

450
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 4: With a straw, right like whatever it is like?

451
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 1: And I started following this really funny TikTok account called

452
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 1: I think it's called guy with the list and what

453
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: he does, and I don't even know what he looks

454
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: like because he actually never I don't think he's posted

455
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 1: himself or her or them whoever runs it. And what

456
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: they do is they help play all these found clips

457
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 1: of people all over the Internet saying their biggest ick

458
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 1: and turnoff. And then he'll add to his list and

459
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 1: his list is at like six hundred now with all

460
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 1: these ridiculous things and so. And I know it's a

461
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 1: bit tongue in cheek and it's a bit funny, but

462
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: I do think it is that, like we get turned

463
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 1: off so quickly by things that are not actually important.

464
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 4: In a relationship.

465
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 1: Like I always ask people like does this make someone

466
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,679
Speaker 1: inept at being a good partner or is it just

467
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 1: something that you don't like about them? Right? Is it

468
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 1: a preference? And I think that that preference versus priority

469
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 1: conversation is huge.

470
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: Well that's like, you know, I mean not to go

471
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 2: to plug City. But on my Netflix special, the opening

472
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 2: bit is about how I'm on the dating apps and

473
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 2: you get in front of it. The dating apps offer

474
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 2: you a menu at a restaurant and you're looking at

475
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 2: it and you're going, well, I'm not that type of person.

476
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 2: It's not even allowing you to smell the person, be

477
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 2: around the person, and you say, I'm not going to

478
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 2: data Darlene and then if you met a Darlene in

479
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 2: a bar that you got along with, you'd probably datea Darlene. Like, yes,

480
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 2: I think the eck is a lot of time.

481
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 4: Just excuse to not be vulnerable to you know, to

482
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 4: say no.

483
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 2: It's easier to say no and not do the thing

484
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 2: than it is to go into it and go, well,

485
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 2: I saw, and then you'd blame yourself once it didn't

486
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: work out. You go, you should have known they drink

487
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 2: macha through a straw, you know, like it's easier to

488
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 2: do that you beat yourself up. I think that might

489
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 2: be kind of the nature of like we don't We're

490
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 2: the Google generation. This is what we do. We look

491
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 2: up the place before we go. We don't walk somewhere

492
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: and we unless we Google map even though we've walked there.

493
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 2: Like well, it's kind of like.

494
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 3: It seems like the issue is almost like there's too

495
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 3: many options right where you have dating two hundred years ago,

496
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 3: you're in an arranged marriage. Probably you're just set up

497
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 3: and like that doesn't seem great, right, But now it's

498
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 3: like if you live in a city like New York City,

499
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 3: there's a million people, maybe then you probably are in

500
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 3: the that you could possibly date, And so you're like, well,

501
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 3: I don't because there's a million people here and there's

502
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 3: an app that shows me people constantly. Why would I

503
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 3: settle for someone who drinks macho lattes through a straw

504
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 3: when there's just another great person out there that I

505
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 3: could could have. And so I think it'd be great

506
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 3: to almost go back to that happy medium where maybe

507
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 3: you had ten choices, not none, not one.

508
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, I mean you're speaking about something in

509
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: psychology which is known as the paradox of choice, right,

510
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 1: this idea that humans actually make worse choices the more

511
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 1: choices and options that they have, And this is one

512
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: of the biggest reasons why we are struggling in dating

513
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 1: or whether the products that we purchase or whatever it

514
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 1: may be. But yeah, I think the key is, and

515
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 1: I like what you're saying, the balance of having enough

516
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 1: of a pool to decide, but not unlimited. And I

517
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: guess what I'm getting at is someone drinking mucha through

518
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: a straw doesn't define what kind of partner they are, right,

519
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: whereas we like the joke that it does, right, maybe

520
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: that defines them in so many other ways. And so

521
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is actually look at what makes someone

522
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 1: a good partner and a credible compatible companion for life

523
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: as opposed to take.

524
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,880
Speaker 2: The other side of that though. You know, the thing

525
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 2: that we find on this part cast the thing that

526
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,479
Speaker 2: as me as a single person deals with, when are

527
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 2: you okay to be turned off? You know, when do

528
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: you allow yourself to say this ick is more of

529
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 2: augh and this ick is funny starts and funny, but

530
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 2: it came from a place of this is not someone

531
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 2: I'd need to spend my time. So I'm a detective.

532
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 2: I'm looking for clues. When you're out there dating, you're

533
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 2: looking for clues too. I want to get to know

534
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 2: that person. So you know, the.

535
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 4: War's jewelry or you know, or you know where you know.

536
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: Sits crisscross apple sauce on a on a chair, you go.

537
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 2: That's generally, you know, a percentage. You know, I'm playing

538
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 2: the percentages now, you know, So it is you know,

539
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 2: it's easy for because I see this with the ick

540
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 2: stuff online, especially online, you see a lot of men

541
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,640
Speaker 2: there were there. Their feedback to it is like this

542
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 2: is why you're single. And you know you gotta do

543
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 2: you know, you gotta look through these things and it's like, well,

544
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 2: this person's also allowed to go.

545
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 4: I'm playing the numbers game. Oh what turns me on

546
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 4: and off?

547
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 2: And if you do A you'll probably do just B

548
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: C D and it won't be a match for me.

549
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 1: Right, So that means I mean, if you're playing the

550
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: odds though, that means you're gonna have to get through

551
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 1: a lot of people.

552
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 4: Right, that's that's you need odds to play. Yeah, exact numbers.

553
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 3: Well, how how long have you been with your wife?

554
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: We've been together now for it will be eleven years

555
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: this year, eleven years married for.

556
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 3: Eight this year, and she's basically like your only relationship right.

557
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 1: In my in terms of currently before Like for you,

558
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 1: did you have.

559
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 4: Grow Oh yeah I did? Yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah.

560
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 1: I dated a ton before I became a monk, and

561
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: then I was a monk, and then since I've left

562
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 1: the monastery, my wife's the only person that I've chosen.

563
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: What's your what's your go to first date? When you

564
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: were dating before? Yeah, back in the day, I mean

565
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: I was dating in my team. So it's like whatever

566
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,479
Speaker 1: you could afford, right, Like, maybe you're you're going like

567
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: ice cream, bowling cinema, I mean going to the movies.

568
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 1: Going to the movies was probably the most common date.

569
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 3: Which is a pretty I mean you say this on

570
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 3: you know in your book that you know, watching a

571
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 3: movie together, watching.

572
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 4: That pom rough like you hate that?

573
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 2: Right?

574
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 4: Yeah?

575
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 3: I was.

576
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,120
Speaker 1: I was, Yeah, I was talking about this in an interview,

577
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: and I think there's there's different responses to it, some funny,

578
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: some some some mad at me. But it was this

579
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: idea of I was talking about to so many couples recently,

580
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 1: and they were just feeling like they don't feel connected,

581
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: they don't feel like they're deepening their intimacy, they don't

582
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: feel like their relationship is growing. And I was just

583
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: saying that, hey, if that's how you feel, then if

584
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: the number one activity you do is watch a show together,

585
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: but that show is not leading to an interaction, a connection,

586
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 1: a sharing of ideas or thoughts or feelings or whatever

587
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: it may be, then maybe it's because you're not doing

588
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 1: other things together. And what I was extending out to

589
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,479
Speaker 1: people was this idea that I've found even in friendships, right,

590
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: this applies to all relationships. They get deeper and better

591
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: and more intimate and more connected when you're doing other

592
00:26:55,080 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: activities together so I encouraged obviously experiences, experiments, getting educated together,

593
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 1: learning about something together. When you're growing together, you feel

594
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: like you're moving in the same direction, even if you're

595
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: both doing your own entrepreneurial venture where you come back

596
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: and share your notes. There's so much more we can

597
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 1: get from love and relationships that I think we miss

598
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 1: out on and I empathize with it.

599
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you and your wife because you

600
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,719
Speaker 2: guys are you're in the same industry. You guys work together,

601
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: you know.

602
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't work together like professionally a party, yeah.

603
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 3: But if you look at a great gap ad together.

604
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 4: Oh yes, the project, yeah we did that together.

605
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 3: But it came out great.

606
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 2: If you look at your social media, like, you guys

607
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 2: are in the same yes, now we are your peers,

608
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: you're like colleagues, you know. So is that helpful the relationship?

609
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 4: Do you ever get like is there jealousy in that?

610
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 2: Like?

611
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 4: Where how do you work?

612
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,679
Speaker 2: Because working together is great because you're communicating, you have

613
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 2: something in common. I would imagine what's the negative negative

614
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 2: part of that?

615
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 1: So the number one thing I hear when someone comes

616
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: up to me is hey, Jay, I love your wife. Right,

617
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: People literally come up to me and go, yeah, you're

618
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: all right, but your wife is amazing, and I'm like,

619
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: I know, I know, like And that's kind of how

620
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: our life has gone where I make friends with people

621
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: because I generally am a bit more extroverted, and I'll

622
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 1: go make relationships, I'll introduce them to my wife and

623
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 1: then I'll never see that friend ever again. And they've

624
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 1: become best friends with my wife. So I'm used to that.

625
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 4: I think you ever hold on I'm staying her up.

626
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 2: But do you ever have to kind of like, look,

627
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 2: I have sometimes there's a thing when you put out

628
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff into the world, yes, you know

629
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 2: your content, you can't people come up to you and

630
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 2: they say things to you that feel pointed, like you're okay,

631
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: but I love your wife, and that does feel It

632
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 2: feels like they're trying to nag you a little bit.

633
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 2: I can understand.

634
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 4: I feel like they're trying to humble me.

635
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 2: That's what they absolutely and I would feel just get

636
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 2: triggered by that, though, no triggering.

637
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 4: I love it. I love my wife she is.

638
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 2: But is that how you deal with it? Do you go, well,

639
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 2: this is a compliment on me because look at me

640
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 2: being with this wonderful person that they love. Do you

641
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 2: have to do that? Ever? Like in my head, I'll

642
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: let people come up to me and they'll go, oh, man,

643
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: I was they were just at my show?

644
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 4: Yeah?

645
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 2: I love the charcoutery stuff you do. I'm like, and now,

646
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 2: and then I get mad at the other stuff I

647
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 2: put out.

648
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 3: What about what you saw?

649
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: That is the exact point of mindfulness training, Like this

650
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:23,959
Speaker 1: is exactly this meditate Yeah no, but this is exactly.

651
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 2: This is why.

652
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: This is why when we're having this conversation, it's it's

653
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 1: so alien to people. And it's not because I was

654
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 1: born without anger or hatred or any of these things.

655
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: The point is that is the point of mindfulness that

656
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: when I'm hearing that, my circuit board internally is going,

657
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: I love my wife. I love that someone else loves

658
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: my wife. This is awesome, right, Like it's brilliant, And

659
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: I found that. I think if I wasn't secure in

660
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: who I am and what I'm doing, I think that

661
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 1: would trigger me, right, And I think that's what's really interesting.

662
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw this movie. I think

663
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: it was on Netflix this year called fair Play.

664
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 4: Yes, a lot of people haven't seen it. Correct. Yeah,

665
00:29:58,560 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 4: So it's.

666
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: Based on a couple. It's a it's a movie. This

667
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: couple are madly in love. He's just proposed, they're about

668
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 1: to get married, but they both get put up for

669
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 1: the same promotion at work and so now they yeah

670
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: at a headshant, so they're now competing in an ultra

671
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 1: competitive environment for the same job. I'm not going to

672
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: tell you anymore if you haven't seen it, so I'm

673
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: laying it up so that you watch the movie. But

674
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 1: the movie does a great job of showing like gender roles,

675
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 1: people feeling emasculated, like the challenges that come in the

676
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: bedroom because of the intimacy, you know, everything else that

677
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 1: goes on, and so I recommend watching the movie. But

678
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: I think a lot of that comes from us feeling irrelevant, insignificant,

679
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: or unfocused on who we are. And I think when

680
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: you feel a sense of calm and confidence about what

681
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 1: you are and what you don't. So I do agree

682
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: that if I didn't know what I was doing for

683
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: work and I didn't know who I was, then I

684
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 1: think that kind of stuff would really trigger me. And

685
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 1: so I've constantly tried to work on who I am

686
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: and who I want to be right.

687
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 3: I think all triggers, like you said, are kind of

688
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 3: come from a place of insecurity. But I mean I

689
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 3: feel like there's there's a sense of being secure and

690
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 3: who you are, but there's certain I mean everyone has

691
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 3: some I do you have any insecurity?

692
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I mean, yeah, absolutely, I mean to

693
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: be totally vulnerable. I think I get you know, insecure. Okay,

694
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: there's a few things I'll defth straight into it. One

695
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: of it is I think that some people sometimes when

696
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 1: I meet people, again, this is the one percent of

697
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: the ninety nine, right, we have to say that.

698
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 4: We have to say that.

699
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 2: It is so important to.

700
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 3: Say everyone knows that people mostly love us.

701
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, yeah, exactly.

702
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 1: But like sometimes I'm insecure that when I'm around someone

703
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 1: that they're wanting me to say something wise all the time.

704
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 1: So I have an insecurity of like God, if I

705
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,479
Speaker 1: don't say something profound and wise, and in the past,

706
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 1: I would really overthink that.

707
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 4: I'm sure you have this for being funny, right, Like

708
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 4: you have to be funny.

709
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: So if I'm not wise in a room and you're

710
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: not funny in a room, then we've lost the room,

711
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 1: right Like that feeling, So I used to carry this around.

712
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: Has turned around now because I so, yeah, you haven't

713
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 2: been very funny. I just go, well, good lot, and

714
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 2: then I move on from the person. I go, we

715
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 2: are not do you have? Do you have? Now? Do

716
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 2: you change?

717
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 4: I have? So I had that. I used to carry

718
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 4: it that around really heavily, and I.

719
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 1: Used to feel such pressure. Yeah, and I would feel stressed.

720
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,479
Speaker 1: And then I found I wasn't even present. And then

721
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 1: I found I'm not even listening because now I'm trying

722
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 1: to say the right thing. And I let go of that,

723
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: and now I just act like myself. So if I'm tired,

724
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 1: I'll be tired. If I'm exhausted, I'll be exhausted. If

725
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: I'm buzzing, I'll be buzzing. If I'm trying to be funny,

726
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: if I'm if I'm being in advantest, I'm just gonna

727
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 1: be because I'm just so much more comfortable with my

728
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 1: own skin now.

729
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 2: I'll say for someone to like, if you're like, hey,

730
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: what do you do and you're like, well, I do mindfulness,

731
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: I'm you know, I like to you know I was

732
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: a monk, and they go, well, I haven't had my

733
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 2: life changed yet. Like for someone to react like that

734
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: is such a piece of guard.

735
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: But sometimes people are looking for it too, right, And

736
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: I think, so that's that's one thing. And then I

737
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 1: also get in insecurity or so I've definitely had that

738
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 1: and I carried that for a long time. I think

739
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: that sometimes you have an insecurity of people feeling like

740
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: you think you're important. So it's kind of like you'reking

741
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: room and people assume that you think you're important or

742
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: that you've brought into your own hype, right, and so

743
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: now you're trying to kind of make sure that prove

744
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: them wrong and make sure that everyone realizes that.

745
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 4: No, no, no, we're cool.

746
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 2: You.

747
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're all on the same page that we're cool.

748
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: You're so lucky you're not single, because this is what

749
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 2: women do to you. And I'm saying women do this

750
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: to you. Just this is I'm just saying, I know this.

751
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 2: Please tell us a single guy.

752
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 3: I think men do that too. If I used to

753
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,479
Speaker 3: get you know, when I was single, So are you funny?

754
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 3: And I'd be like, well, it depends who you ask.

755
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: Right, But that's a great answer because you're not trying

756
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 1: to appeal.

757
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 4: And that's what I found.

758
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: You're not trying to appease the person, and you're also

759
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: not being rude, and it's just an honest answer and

760
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: you just being real, like that's a very normal response always.

761
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 3: I think disarm conversations a great answer.

762
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 2: And you're right, it is no matter the gender. If

763
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 2: you're single, this is what you deal with as a

764
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 2: single because you're dealing with variables. You have people that

765
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 2: are coming in and trying to make a move on you,

766
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 2: or be flirty or be funny and show who they

767
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 2: are right away. So it turns into, oh, you're not

768
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 2: that great, and it's like that's not a you didn't

769
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 2: have to say that. You didn't have to say I

770
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 2: was great. I'm just here to meet you, you know.

771
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 3: And that's the thing with dating. I think that you

772
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,839
Speaker 3: do the best when you're looking for the positive, as

773
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 3: opposed to when you're trying you're trying to almost you

774
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 3: come in defensive, or you come in trying to, you know,

775
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 3: make the person feel like you're good enough for them.

776
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 3: And that's why people do things like that.

777
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: Well, I think so often and so often in the

778
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 1: dating scene, we're trying so hard to make someone like

779
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 1: us without even knowing whether we like them, right, So

780
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 1: we go into him like like me, like me, like me,

781
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 1: like me, and then they like us. I'm like, wait

782
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: a minute, do I even know who this person is? Right?

783
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 2: And you can't know that when you're twenty two, Like

784
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 2: that's just the thing, Like that is aging too, Like

785
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: so much of this, yes, isn't genius. It's growing up

786
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 2: and going and being self reflective. Like it takes time,

787
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 2: because I know exactly. You know. When I was twenty

788
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 2: five starting comedy, I remember this guy sat next to

789
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 2: me in a bar all your and I said, I'm

790
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:09,720
Speaker 2: a comedian.

791
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 4: It was like the first time I ever said.

792
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 2: He's like, tell me a joke, and I'm like and

793
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 2: I say, like note cards and I'm like, who, there's

794
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 2: this fun He's like, well, you're gonna have to work

795
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 2: on that. I'm like, I guess you got me Like

796
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: like I don't know, Yeah, I know.

797
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 4: The feeling, but I think that's day I would never

798
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 4: do that.

799
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that feeling of people trying to get you.

800
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 1: I carry that insecurity. I feel like sometimes I'm in

801
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: a room and I'm like, all right, someone's just trying

802
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 1: to get me. And that's an uncomfortable anxiety and nervousness

803
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 1: to carry around. And I was speaking to you know,

804
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: people who are far more you know, successful and everything

805
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 1: else than I am, and they were saying to me,

806
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,399
Speaker 1: like just the amount of anxiety they carry, because every

807
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 1: word they say is going to be analyzed, over, analyzed, printed, scripted,

808
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: put out there for the world, you know, right, And

809
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: so you start and that's for people I'm talking about,

810
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: people who are you know who every word that they

811
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: say is the fun pa consitions.

812
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, kench Jenner says one thing off script that's

813
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 2: written down.

814
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's apologizing it for a month.

815
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 4: Right.

816
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 2: People don't forget like you look at Kim. People never

817
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 2: work anymore.

818
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, So you carry a little you carry it. You

819
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 1: start carrying a tiny bit of that, you know, you

820
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: start worrying. And one of the things I was thinking

821
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: about that you raised, which isn't about dating, but maybe

822
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 1: it comes into that, was, you know, there was there

823
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: was a time when when things were really starting to

824
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 1: take off. And I've generally been someone who, despite challenges,

825
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 1: despite things that are going wrong, I've always tried to

826
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 1: focus on the wins and amplify the greatness and the

827
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 1: goodness because I believe that attracts more abundance, and so

828
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 1: I've generally been that way, and I've always been like that,

829
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 1: what do.

830
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 4: I mean in the sense of like, for example.

831
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 2: You'll have a win, You're like, celebrate the win for example?

832
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 4: I mean, is you know, is it hard doing what

833
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 4: we all do? Of course it is.

834
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: It's challenging, But I look at the things I'm grateful

835
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: for far more than I'll focus on the things that

836
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: are challenging, because I think that's healthier way to live,

837
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: or it's a way I like to live. And at

838
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 1: one point I realized when I was doing that, I

839
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:06,879
Speaker 1: saw that a few of the people I was hanging

840
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 1: around with. I could tell that me sharing the growth

841
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 1: that I was having was rubbing them the wrong way,

842
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 1: and so whenever I was with them, I would now

843
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 1: try and be more negative, to be more relatable. And

844
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: it was an insecurity that I had because I was like, well,

845
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 1: I need them to feel comfortable around me, so I'm

846
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: going to start saying things that are going wrong so

847
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: that they do realize my life is hard and bad

848
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,240
Speaker 1: and all the rest of it. And I started really

849
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 1: just getting into my own negativity cycle because now I'd

850
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,720
Speaker 1: opened the door that I didn't used to open before.

851
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 4: Well, I think a lot of single people can relate

852
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 4: to that way.

853
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,399
Speaker 2: It's like you get a dating win. Yeah, go back

854
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 2: to your other single friends and they're not as happy

855
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:41,879
Speaker 2: about it, you know, as you all.

856
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 3: It's like sort of a silent race, right yeah.

857
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's so hard because you love that person.

858
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 1: You don't want to agitate someone, you don't want to

859
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: trigger someone. At the same time, you want to share

860
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: this thing that you're going through and you're experiencing not

861
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 1: in an egotistic way, but in a sharing of the

862
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,080
Speaker 1: heart way. And I think it's it's tough. So anyway

863
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm laying out all my insecurities to you.

864
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 4: No, No, I have tons.

865
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 2: It's hard, I would assume because people come to you

866
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 2: for answers and they and you give them answers that

867
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 2: are very concrete and said very well and something that

868
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 2: they can kind of go repeat to themselves in those

869
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,720
Speaker 2: times of their own insecurities.

870
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,839
Speaker 4: Are the things that you Where do you look to where?

871
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,839
Speaker 2: What's your Do you have a person that you look

872
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 2: What podcasts are you listening to?

873
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: I definitely, I definitely feel like I grew up on

874
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 1: a lot of opro, which is it's is huge and

875
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 1: very inspiring, so so a big fan. But I think

876
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 1: for me, there's there's two things I look to. One

877
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,919
Speaker 1: thing is I just love studying humans, Like I love

878
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: observing people, people online, people's lives. I read a ton

879
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: of biographies, I watch biopics. I love like if you

880
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: want to the David Beckham documentary that just came out

881
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: on Netflix, I haven't recommend it, and it's like I

882
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 1: grew up following him and so I've I knew everything

883
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: that was in the documentary, but it was just this

884
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 1: feeling of like, I love studying a human's journey and

885
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: how you know, at one point he was completely villainized

886
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:13,239
Speaker 1: in the country and people hated him because he got

887
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 1: sent off in a massive World Cup game. All the

888
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: way through to he's one of the most adored icons

889
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: of all time and so you get to see that.

890
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: So I feel a lot of my learning comes from studying,

891
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: researching and watching patterns and people and human behavior. That's

892
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: kind of what I get.

893
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 2: A watching people. Yeah, who on the plane do you

894
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:32,800
Speaker 2: hate the most?

895
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 4: Who on the plane do I hate them?

896
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: You travel? Travel, and I know, yeah, you're well, it's.

897
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 3: Your biggest traveling pet peeve.

898
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm travel time is my sacred time to

899
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 1: be alone and and.

900
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 2: Not believe in that it is a great time to

901
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 2: switch a cry, to switch off and to like really

902
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:57,280
Speaker 2: say I'll eat and drink anything I want. Yes, game over.

903
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 2: I'm with you.

904
00:39:58,320 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 3: Because you said like there's a lot of pressure to

905
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 3: feel all like humble. There's a lot of pressure to

906
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 3: feel I'm sure it'll like be the most zen friend.

907
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 4: No, I'm just looking over.

908
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 3: Do you ever have to be like someone like this

909
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 3: is actually my sa.

910
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: It's more like while I'm catching up and selling Sunset

911
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,720
Speaker 1: and the buzz next to me going, does Jay Shady

912
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: wat selling Sunset? You know, it's that kind of feeling

913
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 1: of like, oh god, I'm gonna get judged from what

914
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: I'm watching now, you know.

915
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 4: It's it's that kind of feeling like please don't judge me.

916
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,879
Speaker 2: So well, this is so great. We're happy you're you're

917
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 2: a foss front of the show. Uh Fox, Yeah, foss

918
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 2: foss that sounds better. Foughts are I always friend of

919
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 2: the pod? Fox put something like that, we're right to edit. Yeah, no, listen,

920
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 2: I do. I will say being in the room with you.

921
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 2: You do have this filling energy to you. Do people

922
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 2: say that to you a lot.

923
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 4: I don't know. It's like a star power. Start yeah,

924
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 4: start factor, breath of fresh air.

925
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:55,760
Speaker 2: I love it. Everyone.

926
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 4: Go listen to Jay's podcast, Go follow Jay.

927
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 2: If you don't, alright, read the book. Read the book.

928
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 2: It's all there. He's fantastic. I'm Jared Freed. We're here

929
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 2: every Wednesday and Sunday with solving your Dating Needs. And

930
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 2: we did it again.

931
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 3: We did it again. We'll be back on Wednesday.

932
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 4: Bye.

933
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you will also love my

934
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 1: interview with Kendall Jenna on setting boundaries to increase happiness

935
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 1: and healing.

936
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 4: You're in a child.

937
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,919
Speaker 1: You could be reading something that someone is saying about

938
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 1: you and being like, that is so unfair because that's

939
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: not who I am and that really gets to me sometimes.

940
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 2: But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like,

941
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 2: but I know who I am.

942
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,280
Speaker 3: Why does anything else matter