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Speaker 1: The whole drive. I'm just crying. I'm sobbing the whole way.

2
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Speaker 1: That's almost an hour drive, no music type of drive.

3
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Speaker 1: So when I come home, I want to bend.

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Speaker 2: To my boyfriend, you know. So I come home and

5
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Speaker 2: I open I go to my bedroom because he's in there,

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Speaker 2: and the first thing I see is him just.

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Speaker 1: Laying in the bed faith down, asked so high.

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Speaker 2: So you know, he's.

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Speaker 1: Noticeable in one of my pink lace songs. And uh,

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Speaker 1: I really don't know, man, we don't. We both just

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Speaker 1: sort of look at each other. And I'm still sobbing

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Speaker 1: because the day was just so ship.

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Speaker 3: Georgia. Yes, yeah, Georgia. What's going on with you?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 5: Not a whole lot?

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Speaker 3: What's your are you? You're in a car right now.

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Speaker 3: I just heard a turn signal.

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Speaker 2: Uh yes, I am actually.

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Speaker 3: Where are we going? Are we turning right or left?

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Speaker 3: That's what I want to know.

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Speaker 1: I am actually turning left.

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Speaker 2: I'm going home, going home.

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Speaker 3: Okay, what's what's home?

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Speaker 6: Home?

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Speaker 7: In Oklahoma?

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Speaker 3: Where are we coming from?

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Speaker 2: We're coming from my boyfriend's work and McDonald's. He doesn't

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Speaker 2: work at McDonald's. He works actually a piece of please.

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Speaker 2: But I also wanted to get McDonald's.

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Speaker 3: So you know, what'd you get at McDonald's.

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Speaker 2: I got a cheese burger happy nail.

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Speaker 3: I also do. I don't get mine with any onions

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Speaker 3: or any pickles.

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Speaker 1: I do get the pickles.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes it really depends on my mood that day.

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Speaker 3: Did you get a toy? What's the toy problem they

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Speaker 3: got going on?

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Speaker 8: Is it?

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Speaker 3: Batman?

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Speaker 1: You know, I haven't checked yet because I was too

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Speaker 1: excited to like rush home, because I was nervous if

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Speaker 1: you were going to answer before I got home, or.

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Speaker 2: If I was still driving. But that ends up happening anywhere.

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Speaker 3: By the way, your turn signal has been on the

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Speaker 3: entire time we've been talking, and I'm are you did

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Speaker 3: you make.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm just now turning. I'm finally turning. Don't worry,

48
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Speaker 1: it's about to turn off.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay. You know, for a second, for a second,

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Speaker 3: I thought you were just like taking aly long right turn.

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Speaker 3: Oh wait, you said you're turning left. I thought would

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Speaker 3: take a really long left turn. And then I and

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Speaker 3: then it came to me, I was like, oh, I'm dumb.

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Speaker 3: She's in the left lane waiting to turn.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But by the way, but if you're in. If you're

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Speaker 3: in the left lane, do you really and do you

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Speaker 3: really need a turn signal? Because everyone behind you is

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Speaker 3: also turning left, so they and like just being being

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Speaker 3: in the lane that itself signifies that you are turning left,

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Speaker 3: So do you need to add a turn signal on

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Speaker 3: top of it?

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Speaker 1: I have actually had arguments with people, well, I want

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Speaker 1: to say, arguments just over there. In my opinion, I

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Speaker 1: think that the turn signal is there for you should

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Speaker 1: just use it, Just use it just in case you

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Speaker 1: never know. I mean, granted the point, it's true, but

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Speaker 1: like I don't know. I've seen people do some function

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Speaker 1: on the road and you can't trust their turn signals.

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Speaker 1: They're not and they do some of their stuff. So it's

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Speaker 1: just like, okay, just just follow the general guidelines and

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Speaker 1: we're all cool.

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Speaker 3: Georgia. It says here you one day came home from

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Speaker 3: work crying, and then you when you got home you

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Speaker 3: found your boyfriend face down, ass up, wearing one of

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Speaker 3: your pink thongs, and then that and that made you

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Speaker 3: feel worse. What tell me that story?

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Speaker 1: So I used to work, uh, I mean, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: really matter where you used to work, But I was

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Speaker 1: having a terrible, terrible day at work. I used to

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Speaker 1: cut in there and just at the place they wanted to.

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Speaker 1: They wanted us to like cut so many people, and

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Speaker 1: the men there were so rude. It was a barbershop

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Speaker 1: takes place, and it was just terrible. So I'm coming home.

85
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Speaker 1: The whole drive, I'm just crying. I'm sobbing the whole way.

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Speaker 1: That's almost an hour drive, no music type of drive.

87
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Speaker 1: That's it was terrible. So when I come home, I

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Speaker 1: wanna bend.

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Speaker 2: To my boyfriend, you know, because ship fav that's what

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Speaker 2: you do. And so I come home and I open

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Speaker 2: I go to my bedroom because he's in there, and

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Speaker 2: the first thing I see is him just.

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Speaker 1: Laying in the bed, face down, asked so high, so

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Speaker 1: you know, he's noticeable in one of my pink lace songs.

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Speaker 1: And I really don't know.

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Speaker 5: Man, we don't.

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Speaker 1: We both just sort of look at each other. And

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Speaker 1: I'm still sobbing because the day was just so shit,

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Speaker 1: and he's sort of just laying there awkwardly, and for

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Speaker 1: I swear to god, it it felt like it was

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Speaker 1: an hour. It was probably just thirty seconds.

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Speaker 2: But eventually he, you know, suits up and he's like.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to like make you laugh.

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Speaker 2: I guess when you came home and I just kept.

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Speaker 1: Crying and it was just really, really fucking awkward. He

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Speaker 1: then was like consoling me and his in the song

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Speaker 1: still his balls were hanging out and everything, and I

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Speaker 1: was just crying. He was comforting me with it was

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Speaker 1: a whole thing.

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Speaker 3: Uh, you know, that's actually nice. So when I first

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Speaker 3: read this, I thought it was I I didn't realize

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Speaker 3: that he intentionally wanted to be walked in on in

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Speaker 3: this position. I thought he was doing something discreet and

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Speaker 3: you encountered upon him in the act.

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Speaker 2: Nope, he uh, he likes to be seen doing these

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Speaker 2: things for for shiitts and giggles. I guess he's I

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Speaker 2: don't even know where he got the idea from. He

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I think I honestly, I just don't know.

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Speaker 3: And did you eventually find yourself amused by this once

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Speaker 3: you calmed down or or I mean you said you

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Speaker 3: said it made it it made it worse?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know, I was already having a bad

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Speaker 2: day and I just wanted to talk to him about it,

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Speaker 2: and just something about knowing that like his his I mean,

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Speaker 2: he's a man you know, and sometimes men are like

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Speaker 2: nasty and sweaty and shit, and like he was in

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Speaker 2: my thong and I don't know something about his ball.

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Speaker 1: Just being up in my phone.

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Speaker 2: Just it was just a weird I was already having

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Speaker 2: a bad day, so I see bad situations. But yeah, Honestly,

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Speaker 2: after I had calmed down, though, we both laughed so

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Speaker 2: fucking hard about it. We were talking about it last night. Actually,

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Speaker 2: I told him that, uh, I was.

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Speaker 1: Probably gonna potentially talk to you and tell you about this,

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Speaker 1: and he was like, that's great.

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Speaker 2: He says, it's the most embarrassing thing he ever had

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Speaker 2: to deal with.

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Speaker 3: I like that your boyfriend, and ten only puts himself

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Speaker 3: in embarrassing situations. I think that there is a strong

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Speaker 3: power in that.

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Speaker 2: No, honestly, it's it's one of the he makes my

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Speaker 2: life really amazing with that. I'm never bored with him ever.

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Speaker 3: Matt. That's so great to hear, because I think a

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Speaker 3: lot of people think, like, oh, if I'm doing this

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Speaker 3: way or whatever, women won't like that. But here you are,

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Speaker 3: this guy is in your thong, ass up, and you

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Speaker 3: you're you're you enjoy that. It's a part of his whimsy.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, it's amazing. Truthfully, while in the moment, yeah,

149
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Speaker 2: it was kind of shitty. It's it's it's fucking hilarious

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Speaker 2: to look back up for sure.

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Speaker 3: How long he has been dating for?

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Speaker 2: About three years?

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Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 3: Three years? Wow? Is he with you right now? Oh no, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 3: Well let me know. Uh, I'm wondering what he's probably

156
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Speaker 3: like setting something up right now, like he's wearing one

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Speaker 3: of your bras, or he's put one of your tampons

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Speaker 3: in and you'll walk in through the door and he'll

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Speaker 3: be spread eagle.

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Speaker 4: That would be a you know, I hope so.

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Speaker 7: And I'll update you all for sure.

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Speaker 3: Update you or oh yes, oh yes, let us know.

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Speaker 3: Thank you very much for calling Georgia untily.

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Speaker 7: Thank you, Jacob, Yeah, Jacob, Jacob.

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Speaker 3: It says here that you're having anxiety about whether or

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Speaker 3: not you are an asshole.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: Actually, a.

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Speaker 8: Few weeks ago, I had a few drinks with some

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Speaker 8: friends at a concert and uh, I made some I

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Speaker 8: guess asshole has joked out loud and it seems like

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Speaker 8: a few people heard and I said, out loud, am

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Speaker 8: I a dick? And my friends started laughing, And I

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Speaker 8: believe they think that I'm a dick.

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Speaker 3: All right, So you make a joke, h then you

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Speaker 3: second guess the joke. I wonder if you're an asshole,

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Speaker 3: and then your friends laugh along, and that makes you

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Speaker 3: think that you're an asshole.

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Speaker 8: That's not I mean, that's when I started thinking about it.

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Speaker 4: But now I okay, So I'm sorry, can't continue.

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Speaker 8: I just feel like I'm micro analyzing my actions day

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Speaker 8: to day and I guess the and take much micro analyzing.

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Speaker 8: But I feel like I am a dick.

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Speaker 3: Why do you feel like you're a dick.

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Speaker 8: Well, I'm a delivery guy or a delivery company in

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Speaker 8: the not so nice part of town here, and I

187
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Speaker 8: don't have very good customer service skills. I've come to

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Speaker 8: found or at least not now, but my road rage

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Speaker 8: has gone up. If someone gives me attitude, I just

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Speaker 8: don't I don't.

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Speaker 6: Care.

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Speaker 8: I just go off or I'll give him a finger.

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Speaker 3: And all right, So, so you feel like you, as

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Speaker 3: you've gotten older, have become more prone to anger.

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Speaker 8: Maybe anger, yeah, bitterness, frustration Okay, I'd like soak like

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Speaker 8: all day long.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're getting agitated. So you have a lot

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Speaker 3: like of stimulus and variables coming in, do you feel

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Speaker 3: like all this stimulus and variables are like going through

200
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Speaker 3: you and then coming out of you in the form

201
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Speaker 3: of assholeish behavior as defined by you.

202
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Speaker 8: Yeah, that's not a bad way to put it yet.

203
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Speaker 3: Okay, so do you let me ask you something. Do

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Speaker 3: you care about whether or not you're an asshole? Do

205
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Speaker 3: you desire not to be an asshole?

206
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Speaker 9: Well?

207
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Speaker 8: Yeah, well yeah, so this went hand in hand with

208
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Speaker 8: some other thoughts that I've been having and just about

209
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Speaker 8: why we're here and why this is all.

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Speaker 3: Well well okay, well let's let's let's focus. I want

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Speaker 3: to focus on one thing because if we get on

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00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:14,600
Speaker 3: other thoughts go crazy, We'll never you know. So all right,

213
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Speaker 3: but why let me ask you? Let me ask you

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Speaker 3: what what makes someone? Do you Do you desire to

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Speaker 3: be actively good or you just desire not to be

216
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Speaker 3: actively bad?

217
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:29,840
Speaker 9: No?

218
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,800
Speaker 8: I want to I want to be I want to

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Speaker 8: be actively not bad if we have to all be

220
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Speaker 8: in this world together.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, that's not what I'm asking there, Like, do

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Speaker 3: you want do you want to be actively good or

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Speaker 3: do you just like want to cease this behavior that

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Speaker 3: you say is being an asshole?

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Speaker 8: No, I want to be good.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let's I want to. I want to with you

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Speaker 3: right now. I want to define what does it mean

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Speaker 3: to be an asshole? Like do we even know or

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Speaker 3: are we just like or are we just saying that,

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Speaker 3: like we don't even know what we don't even know

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Speaker 3: what that means? Being an asshole is just words?

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Speaker 5: What is that?

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Speaker 3: What does that actually mean? To be an asshole?

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Speaker 8: Sure? So, I guess an asshole is someone who should

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Speaker 8: affect the way a person is feeling and not care.

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Speaker 3: Okay, an asshole, in your definition is somebody who negatively

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Speaker 3: affects the way another person is feeling and doesn't care.

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Speaker 3: Well yeah, uh. When is the last time you feel

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Speaker 3: as though you negatively affected another person?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 8: They but perhaps they negatively affected me? First?

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Speaker 3: Jacob, Jacob, When is the last time you feel like

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Speaker 3: you negatively affected another person?

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Speaker 8: Today?

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Speaker 3: Today? What happened today?

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Speaker 8: I yelled at a lady at worked?

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Speaker 3: Okay, you yelled at a lady at work?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Do you feel bad about that?

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Speaker 5: Not so much?

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Speaker 8: But there's a reason.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, So yelled at lady at work and

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Speaker 3: you don't feel bad about it, and you feel like

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Speaker 3: you negative affected that lady? Hm, what was what's the reason?

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Speaker 7: Her dog?

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Speaker 2: Bit my hand.

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Speaker 3: Her dog tod bit your hand, so you yell at her.

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Speaker 8: I tried to handle the package and her dog jumped

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Speaker 8: up and bit my hands.

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Speaker 3: M hmm. Okay, what would you like to have done

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Speaker 3: in that situation?

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Speaker 8: If I had set the scene this this place is what?

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Speaker 3: Jacob, Jacob, jac what would you like to have in

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Speaker 3: that situation?

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Speaker 5: Hm?

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Speaker 8: I guess gotten in my car or my truck and left.

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Speaker 8: But it's just hard to compose myself in those situations.

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Speaker 3: Why is it hard to compose yourself in these situations?

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Speaker 8: Because getting bit by someone's dog hurts, and they could

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Speaker 8: have stopped the dog.

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm. All right, I'm gonna tell you this is

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Speaker 3: something like I've been reading a little bit about this.

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Speaker 3: Look look at me. I've been reading you know, uh,

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Speaker 3: you know, you know stoic philosophy. You ever heard about

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Speaker 3: that Shitai? Yeah, basically like trying to have I'm not

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Speaker 3: coming at this as a master of it. I'm just

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Speaker 3: coming at this again as a thought exploration alongside you,

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Speaker 3: you know, accepting things that we can't control. Right, this

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Speaker 3: dog bit you, This dog bit you. You cannot control

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Speaker 3: other people you can't control if somebody puts you off

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Speaker 3: in traffic. He said, you have road rage. Can't control

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Speaker 3: if a lady's dog bites you, but you can control

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Speaker 3: how you act, and you desire.

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Speaker 2: It.

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Speaker 3: Seems it seems like you desire this, because if you

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Speaker 3: didn't desire this, you wouldn't be calling me, we wouldn't

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Speaker 3: be talking about this. So you do. You've bought Your

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Speaker 3: actions are shoying. You desire to be cooler and calmer

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Speaker 3: in these situations. Okay, So you can't control if the

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Speaker 3: lady's dog bites you. You can't control if the guy's car

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Speaker 3: hits you or cuts you off or whatever, but you

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Speaker 3: can control how you act towards it. So if a

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Speaker 3: lady's dog bites you, you have an opportunity. You look at

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Speaker 3: it not as a bad thing. You look at it

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Speaker 3: as an opportunity. You're get to retrain your brain. Here

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Speaker 3: to go. Oh, a bad thing happened to me that

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Speaker 3: was under no circumstances my control. Here's now an opportunity

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Speaker 3: for me to work toward this thing I want by

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Speaker 3: choosing not to care, by choosing not to yell at

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Speaker 3: the lady, choosing not to get upset, because it's the

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Speaker 3: most logical choice, right, Because the dog bit you that

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Speaker 3: that already happened, So why would you not take that

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Speaker 3: as an opportunity. It's like, logical, this isn't like this

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Speaker 3: doesn't feel good, wholesome bullshit. This is like, yeah, legit, Logically,

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Speaker 3: it is of your best interest to see it as

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Speaker 3: an opportunity to work toward what you want, which is

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Speaker 3: a greater control over your emotions. So take this bad

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Speaker 3: thing that happened, decide to use it as an opportunity

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Speaker 3: to not get upset. And dude, fucking you don't have

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Speaker 3: to become a monk overnight. But like, next time, like

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Speaker 3: some homework here, next time that happens, gain like be conscious,

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Speaker 3: you know, because because because you're you're gonna you're gonna

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Speaker 3: slip into your unconscious habit of getting pissed. Next time

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Speaker 3: this happens, choose not to be upset about it. Choose

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Speaker 3: to just get back into your car and see how

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Speaker 3: that feels. Because once you've been able to consciously choose

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Speaker 3: how you feel about a situation, once you then learn,

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Speaker 3: oh shit, this is within my power, this is of

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Speaker 3: my control, and maybe that'll make you feel empowered to

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Speaker 3: keep acting in that direction. What do you think about

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Speaker 3: all of that.

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Speaker 8: I like that good advice. It's easy to get caught

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Speaker 8: up in the moment, especially because I'm listening to you

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Speaker 8: in my right year all day long while I'm driving,

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Speaker 8: and uh yeah, sometimes it just seems to happen so fast.

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Speaker 8: People are fucking crazy. They're definitely steel packages and down

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Speaker 8: to get my fucking truck. Like they need to know

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Speaker 8: that I'm not putting up with that shit.

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Speaker 3: Why why do they need Why does anyone need to

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Speaker 3: know anything? James, because James, could you have me, James,

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Speaker 3: it's just that, James. This is like you're telling you're

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Speaker 3: we're on the phone, you're telling me like the thesis

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Speaker 3: of the reason why you called. I don't know. Maybe

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Speaker 3: you called in just to tell me these stories, like

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Speaker 3: just for fun, which is fine, I guess that's the

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Speaker 3: whole point of this. But like it sounded to me

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Speaker 3: like you you have a desire to like change your behavior.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you actually do. It's fine, by

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Speaker 3: the way, by the way, it's fuck. It's fucking fine

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Speaker 3: if you don't, like, you don't have to, so you

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Speaker 3: can you can continue, you know, doing whatever it is

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Speaker 3: you're doing. No one gives a ship, but I know

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Speaker 3: if you do. I don't know if you do. You

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Speaker 3: might not, but like, do do you do? You do

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Speaker 3: you want to be a little bit calmer?

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Speaker 9: Oh yeah for sure.

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Speaker 3: Okay, next time, next time, next time, next time, something

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Speaker 3: like that happens. Just like make the decision to take

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Speaker 3: the path of least resistance and be calm about it.

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Speaker 3: Just make that conscious decision, and if you do that enough,

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Speaker 3: it'll become a happy.

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Speaker 5: Word.

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Speaker 3: James, Good luck to you, my friend. I'll talk to

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Speaker 3: you soon. I love your gay I will damn dude.

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Speaker 7: Oh yeah, no, iouly wasn't sure if I was going

356
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Speaker 7: to actually connect with you.

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Speaker 3: Well here we are. We've connected. Whatever that means. How

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Speaker 3: are you doing, will, Yeah, I'm doing good.

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00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,719
Speaker 7: While Oh yeah, fucking uh?

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Speaker 5: What's up?

361
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Speaker 7: What's happening? What's cracking?

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Speaker 3: Not much? Can I can? I read what it says here.

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Speaker 3: It says here that you were homeless sleeping in a

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Speaker 3: dumpster two years ago, but you have your life. I

365
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Speaker 3: was behind a dumpster. That's a little bit n I mean,

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Speaker 3: I mean that's a little bit nicer than in the dumpster.

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Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, yeah, so you know I was probably I

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Speaker 7: don't know, like eighteen at that point, and I'm like

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Speaker 7: twenty one now, for reference, didn't necessarily have like a

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Speaker 7: super troubled childhood or anything, but you know, got into

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Speaker 7: drugs when I was like fourteen or fifteen, you know,

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Speaker 7: started playing the drums in a punk band and on

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Speaker 7: my nose pierced and all that jazz, and I was like, hell, yeah,

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Speaker 7: let's you know, do a bunch of coke and speed

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Speaker 7: and stuff. I guess, yeah, obviously got me into some trouble.

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Speaker 7: So I got kicked out of my parents' house and

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Speaker 7: got kicked out of school, wound up in the city nearby, Calgary.

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Speaker 7: And yeah, it wasn't like I was sleeping behind a

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Speaker 7: dumpster regularly, but I was couch hopping and whenever I

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Speaker 7: couldn't find a place, I'd hop on down to seventh Tab.

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Speaker 7: And so you had.

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Speaker 3: You had a dumpster in particular that.

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Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yeah, you know it was a spot.

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Speaker 3: How did you find that spot and declare it as

385
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Speaker 3: your spot? Did you like sort of go looking around

386
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Speaker 3: or did you happen upon it. What's the story of

387
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Speaker 3: how you found your spot?

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Speaker 7: Honestly, it was just like I used to just check

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Speaker 7: around with a couple of pairs of clothes and a

390
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Speaker 7: blanket on my backpack. And this spot was not too

391
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Speaker 7: far from one of the train stations downtown, so I

392
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Speaker 7: was buying an W burger chain. So you know, I

393
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Speaker 7: used to hang around to that burger chain with some

394
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Speaker 7: of the other hoboes. And yeah, no, just you know,

395
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Speaker 7: it's just right behind the ANW. Pretty pretty secure. There's

396
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Speaker 7: like some kind of generator or heater or some shit nearby,

397
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Speaker 7: so it was actually pretty warm in the winter. And

398
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Speaker 7: did it's not too bad for being a burger chain.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, like good beef at least. Yeah. Yeah, No,

400
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 3: ANW is a good one. I wanted to ask you

401
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 3: said you were hanging out with other hobos. You said,

402
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,640
Speaker 3: did you make friends during this time period with other

403
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Speaker 3: people that were staying around the A and W.

404
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Speaker 7: I mean, like not good ones, but I feel like

405
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 7: anybody in that situation recognizes that to a certain degree,

406
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 7: you got to stick together. You know, there were a

407
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Speaker 7: lot of people that I didn't necessarily agree with that

408
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 7: I found myself around because the numbers kind of provided security,

409
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Speaker 7: or also like knowing some of these scumbags and knowing

410
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 7: that some of the other scumbags who would potentially give

411
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 7: me trouble new them. You know, that's a sense of

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Speaker 7: security in and of itself. I didn't really ask too

413
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 7: many questions when you're with when you were with other people,

414
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Speaker 7: So that was the main thing, honestly, Like, I can't

415
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 7: think of too many people I was hanging out with

416
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Speaker 7: downtown that I would want to hang out with now.

417
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 7: But yeah, definitely I made some friends. It was just

418
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Speaker 7: kind of making deal with what I had at the

419
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Speaker 7: time though too.

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Speaker 3: You know, So, what are the main thoughts going through

421
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 3: your mind as you are What would do you have

422
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: a sleeping bag or anything?

423
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 7: No? No, I had had a blanket that I stole

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Speaker 7: from my friend's house.

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Speaker 3: So when you're falling asleep behind the dumpster, you got

426
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 3: your blanket you stole from your friends. What as you

427
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 3: lay down at night and go to sleep, what are

428
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 3: the thoughts going through your head?

429
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Speaker 7: Nine times at a time, it was holly fuck, I'm

430
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Speaker 7: hungry a lot of the time. It wasn't a lot

431
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 7: of sleep and being done. It was just sitting there

432
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 7: listening to you know, trains go by, cars go by, sirens,

433
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 7: listening to all the bullshit that a big city has

434
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:47,919
Speaker 7: to bring. Yeah, I'm just kind of thinking about what

435
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 7: I could do next to make sure the next night

436
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 7: I wouldn't be in the same position.

437
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 3: That was pretty much and eventually and eventually, as you say,

438
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 3: you got out of that position. You say, what was

439
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 3: the process for you of getting yourself out of there

440
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 3: into a more stable place?

441
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 4: Oh?

442
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 7: I mean it was a lot of help, for sure.

443
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 7: You know, like there's there's a community center in my city,

444
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 7: and they helped a lot, for sure. A lot of

445
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 7: volunteers there that literally would just hang around, like they'd

446
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 7: cook food for vagrants like me and just hang around

447
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,679
Speaker 7: and listen to whatever we had to say or whatever.

448
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 7: And yeah they be Alex, anybody from there's listening and

449
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 7: shout out. So but yeah, no, so a lot of help.

450
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 7: You know. I had a couple of good friends from

451
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 7: from school and whatnot that have my back, and you know,

452
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 7: my brother and my mom and my dad obviously, But

453
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,679
Speaker 7: at the same time, same thing that I was telling

454
00:27:55,760 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 7: the screener, not like like you know, I had a

455
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 7: conversation with my brother a couple of years after the matter,

456
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 7: and the big thing that I took away from it

457
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 7: he told me, you know, you can't jump away, jump

458
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 7: in front of a runaway train, you know, like he

459
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 7: was there to support me. He you know, he made

460
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 7: it very clear he loved me. But whatever decisions I

461
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 7: was going to make were mine to make. And you know, yeah,

462
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 7: that's pretty much all it is to say about that.

463
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 7: Like I had to change my perspective. It was up

464
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 7: to nobody else, you know, like it was it was

465
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 7: my own thing.

466
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: So you can't of a run away train. I like that,

467
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 3: Uh that phrase?

468
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I liked that one too, And it's true.

469
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 7: You know, like you can't whatever reckless decision somebody's gonna make,

470
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 7: they're gonna make for themselves and you can't stop that.

471
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 7: All you can do is provide your own perspective. And

472
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 7: that's exactly what my brother did. That's my family and

473
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 7: you know, my good friends. But I'm glad none of

474
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 7: them took that upon themselves to change the way that

475
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 7: I was thinking, or what I was doing or anything,

476
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 7: because you know, let's some juju nobody needs.

477
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 3: Oh what is your life like now?

478
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 7: Well, about like eight months ago, nine months ago or whatever,

479
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 7: I moved from the prairies of Canada, just a little

480
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 7: ways east of the east of Calgary out to the

481
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 7: mountains into a ski town too.

482
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 1: Uh.

483
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 7: Chase a cheats A dream I had since I was

484
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 7: like fifteen or whatever. I moved out to Whistler to

485
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 7: work at a mountain bike park and I decided to

486
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 7: stay for winter. I'm working at a at a ski

487
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 7: rental shop. Now it's pretty sick. I can't lie, you know.

488
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 7: I get to go skiing all my lunch break. I'm

489
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 7: looking out out my out my back door right now,

490
00:29:56,120 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 7: a beautiful mountains. So it's nice. Money's not great, but yeah, honestly,

491
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 7: I don't think I I'd changed anything for the world. Honestly,

492
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 7: even my past experience is all that homelessness and druggy

493
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 7: bullshit and whatnot. I think a lot of that gave

494
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 7: me the perspective I have now. Uh, that perspective gives

495
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 7: me the ability to really enjoy where I am now.

496
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:25,479
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, man, that's cool. I like, uh, I

497
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: like whenever I you know, I hear people I can

498
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 3: you know, I have gone through something something tough, but

499
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 3: they like get something out of it that they can

500
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 3: use in their sort of current life. That's awesome a

501
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 3: ski rental, But do you go skiing yourself?

502
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 5: Yeah?

503
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 7: Absolutely every day that I can.

504
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 3: Beautiful uh, Will, is there anything else that you want

505
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 3: to say to the to the people, thank you for

506
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 3: sharing this story. I I uh I I always enjoy

507
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 3: hearing a nice comeback tale.

508
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 7: Well yeah, honestly, one big thing I want to say is,

509
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 7: first of all, my god, you guys have such a

510
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 7: pleasant show on your hands. Even the screener was just

511
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 7: like such a such a nice dude. Yeah, just overall

512
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 7: vibe pleasant. And then beyond that, fuck, don't give up

513
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 7: on yourselves, people, you know, do what you can to

514
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 7: make it work, and eventually it will.

515
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 3: Beautiful. Thank you for calling Will, Hey.

516
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 7: Thanks for having me man appreciate what you're doing here.

517
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 3: Hmmm, this is the wrong thing to have gotten out

518
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 3: of that, but I'm kind of craving a and w now.

519
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 3: Rick Fallon, Oh hello, hey, Rick Fallon, what's uh? What

520
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 3: have we got going on in the background? Are you're

521
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 3: watching a soap opera of some kind?

522
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 5: Yeah?

523
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 4: It stays of our lives?

524
00:31:55,080 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 3: Oh is it actually no, it's just I thank you

525
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 3: for yes anding me. By the way, it's it's nice.

526
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 3: I always I always appreciate that. I always appreciate It's

527
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 3: really hard, Rick Fallen, It's so hard to have a

528
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 3: conversation where you feel like you're being listened to and

529
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 3: the other person is taking feedback from what you said

530
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 3: and using it to inform what they then say. And

531
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 3: then you back take what they said that was informed

532
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 3: by what you said and then using that to inform

533
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 3: you say. And I mean that's ideally how a conversation goes.

534
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 3: Would you not agree?

535
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 5: Wow?

536
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, isn't. And that's the whole point of the show.

537
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 3: I think right now. The point of this show is

538
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 3: being a gecko and talking to people on the phone.

539
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 4: Oh you are a gecko. I paused the sentence, thank you.

540
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 4: It wasn't that great of an episode.

541
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 3: What's going on, Rick Fallen? Is there anything in particular

542
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 3: that you want to to talk about? It's fine if not.

543
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 3: If you seem like a guy, we could just kind of,

544
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 3: you know, hang out together on the phone.

545
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I'm down for anything. I mean, I

546
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 4: told the call screener guy, I I don't know. I

547
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 4: guess I've just been feeling a little weird lately. I

548
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 4: turned thirty over the summer, and it's pretty strange because

549
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 4: it's like, you know, I think maybe I'll live till

550
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 4: I'm like ninety and then after that, I don't know

551
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 4: how much, you know, you can really consider that living.

552
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 4: So it's like a third of my life. It's pretty strange.

553
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, why are you so sure that you're going

554
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 3: to live to ninety? I feel like I feel like

555
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 3: most people are getting too eighty these days.

556
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:54,239
Speaker 4: Really, I don't know. My great grandma lived till she

557
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:55,479
Speaker 4: was nine one hundred.

558
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, all right, so you have the jeans, you'll

559
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 3: all right, you know, we could we could say, we

560
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 3: could say ninety, but then you're right, you did make

561
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 3: a good point eighty to ninety or even if you

562
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 3: have to one hundred, ninety to one hundred, it's like,

563
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 3: what are you really even doing at that point?

564
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 4: It's I feel like it's generally like thirty years is

565
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 4: like about a third of your life maybe, you know. Yeah,

566
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 4: it's just strange to think about that, you know that.

567
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:27,959
Speaker 4: Oh it's and you know, and I so that kind

568
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 4: of you know, I was dissatisfied with my job, so

569
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 4: I quit that. Oh nice, and then I decided to

570
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 4: go camping.

571
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 3: So you you're sort of coming to terms with the

572
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 3: fact that a third or more of your life is over.

573
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 3: And if we're looking back, let's look back at that

574
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 3: thirty years now, we don't don't have to go into

575
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 3: every every single sunday of it. But what at a glance,

576
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 3: what are we uh? What are we looking at here?

577
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 4: Hmm? My life's been kind of weird and kind of sad,

578
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 4: but I've done a lot of fun stuff and crazy stuff,

579
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 4: so I feel like I've always had friends and stuff.

580
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 4: But I never went to college and got a degree.

581
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 4: I wanted to be a musician and I was in

582
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,720
Speaker 4: some cool bands.

583
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 5: But.

584
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 4: I never really, I guess, put enough effort into it.

585
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 4: And then I became a carpenter and I did a

586
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 4: lot of really nice wouldwork, like working for very wealthy people,

587
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 4: and that was cool. But then I tried to go

588
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,360
Speaker 4: to school, and as soon as I went to school,

589
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 4: COVID happened and kind of shut down the campus. So

590
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 4: it's been a pretty wild, pretty strange like I've been,

591
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 4: like I've been, you know, I've been trying a lot

592
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 4: of different things, I guess.

593
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 3: So you said kind of did you say fun? Kind

594
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 3: of fun? Kind of sad? That was the two immediate

595
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,240
Speaker 3: words you used to describe your life thus far, which,

596
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 3: by the way, you know, that's pretty that's pretty good

597
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 3: if we're talking about trying to live a colorful life,

598
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, reveling in the reveling in the highs

599
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,919
Speaker 3: and the lows.

600
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, it's been.

601
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 3: I mean, what's been the most I guess fun time

602
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 3: period of these thirty years? And what were you doing

603
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 3: in that particularly fun time period?

604
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 4: Probably from like the ages of like maybe twenty to

605
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 4: twenty four, like you know, early twenties.

606
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 7: I guess early were pretty cool.

607
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 4: I just played a lot of shows in my band,

608
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 4: drank a lot, smoked a lot of weed, did a

609
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 4: lot of psychedelics, and didn't really care what was what

610
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 4: was going to happen.

611
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 3: That was cool, okay, And so then all right, let's

612
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 3: do twenty four to thirty. What's going on twenty four

613
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 3: to thirty the sort of mid late.

614
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 4: Twenties, I don't know. I just I kind of just

615
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 4: worked and didn't really didn't really think much of it.

616
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 4: I became like a carpenter because I thought, like i'd

617
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 4: feel like flipping houses or something like, I thought it'd

618
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 4: be cool, like I wouldn't have to have a real job,

619
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 4: Like I just like go in and like flip houses,

620
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 4: and I wouldn't have a boss and I'd make like

621
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 4: a lot of money or something, but he needed a

622
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,040
Speaker 4: lot of money to start doing.

623
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 3: That, right, did I mean did it work out kind

624
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 3: of like that? Or did it work out not like that?

625
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 3: Even slightly? Stuff worked to work? How would you? How

626
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 3: would you? Where would you put it? Uh?

627
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 5: Works worse to work.

628
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 3: On a scale of it works like that too. It

629
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 3: didn't work like that at all? How much did it work?

630
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:21,399
Speaker 5: Oh?

631
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 4: Well, well, it didn't work like that at all. Then

632
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 4: I tried to go to school to be an engineer,

633
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 4: but then COVID happened, and then it was kind of weird.

634
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 4: I was forced to go back doing this sort of

635
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 4: carpentry stuff. And then I've been like freelancing and just

636
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 4: sort of living at my mom's house and writing some

637
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 4: music and uh yeah, not really sure. It's it's very strange,

638
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 4: like nothing. I've been down twenty different paths, but nothing.

639
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 4: It's all just been one intertwined experience. And I'm like,

640
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:56,479
Speaker 4: I'm kind of okay with it.

641
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 3: So you had this realization lately, Uh, you just turned thirty.

642
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 3: You're You're like, all right, this is a solid third over.

643
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:10,919
Speaker 5: We were.

644
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 3: We've we've looked back at the third, we've had some

645
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 3: pretty damn good times. We've had some sad times, but

646
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 3: we we kind of I feel like we're accepting it

647
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 3: all as part of the human experience. Now, what's oh yeah,

648
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 3: let's let's get a all right, now we're in the present.

649
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,839
Speaker 3: What's what's going on? What's going on the present, what's

650
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 3: going on today this week?

651
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just thinking about.

652
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 1: I don't.

653
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 4: I don't know, I don't. I don't really like think

654
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 4: about much. I just kind of I just kind of

655
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 4: go to the gym and I'm just I'm I kind

656
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 4: of stopped caring what's going to happen, and I just

657
00:39:56,800 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 4: kind of like exist with what's going on around me.

658
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 4: I just kind of stopped trying to be something. I

659
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,240
Speaker 4: got really into this guy. His name is Ecker Tole.

660
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's who I thought you were gonna say, yeah,

661
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 3: the power of now.

662
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 4: Yes, oh yeah, And I've been kind of like that,

663
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 4: but you know, I still have to figure out like

664
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:26,240
Speaker 4: how to make money and stuff.

665
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 5: I guess.

666
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 3: Okay, So let's see early early part of your life,

667
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 3: you're making all these plans, trying to do all these things,

668
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 3: thinking about the future, and contemporarily you're trying to live

669
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 3: more in the present. I'm trying to do that too.

670
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 3: I'm always trying to see if I can do both.

671
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 3: It's really hard to do both. But I'd like to

672
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 3: fucking believe that you can both live in the present

673
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 3: and plan for the future.

674
00:40:58,360 --> 00:40:59,240
Speaker 7: It's kind of weird.

675
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 3: It is kind of weird. It's a really tough balance.

676
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,800
Speaker 3: So you're trying to live more in the present. What's

677
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 3: what's what's what about the future? Or are we thinking?

678
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 3: Do we? You know? I know you say you're trying

679
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 3: to live in the in the present, which is a

680
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 3: good thing to do. I feel like it's pretty easy

681
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 3: to neglect that, considering it's all we ever really have.

682
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: But when you're looking for the future and you're thinking

683
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 3: about the next I don't even want to say five

684
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 3: or ten, you're like, just, you know, the vague future.

685
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 3: What are we what are we looking at here?

686
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 4: Well, you know, I'm gonna figure out what I'm doing

687
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 4: based on like what I feel like doing, because you know,

688
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 4: sometimes I've had a job because I've had anxiety because

689
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 4: I don't have a job. But now I'm like, I'm

690
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 4: just going to try to utilize my skills and figure

691
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 4: out something that doesn't really suck to do.

692
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, if.

693
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 4: You really want to know, Like, I mean, my real

694
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 4: dream would be to have like a homestead sort of thing,

695
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 4: like a small farm. Maybe not completely off grid, but

696
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 4: you know, off grid enough. I'm very good at building things,

697
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:25,720
Speaker 4: since I've built houses. Uh, and I'm not never farmed,

698
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 4: but I could probably farm. And I like animals, and

699
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 4: I'm you know, I think I could do that, but

700
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 4: I don't have money to do it. So that's just

701
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 4: you know, how do I make money. I guess that's

702
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 4: what I have.

703
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 3: To figure out.

704
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 8: Well.

705
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,840
Speaker 3: I like I like that you've got this like focus

706
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 3: on your You're kind of you're kind of doing what

707
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 3: we're talking about with trying to pair a desire to

708
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 3: live in the present with at least a vague desire

709
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,919
Speaker 3: for something in the future, so you can vaguely walk

710
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 3: toward that direction. I like that.

711
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, everything's vague.

712
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 3: How do you feel about everything being vague?

713
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 4: I feel vague vague. I feel like it's just strange

714
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 4: watching like every like just existing is so strange. I

715
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 4: feel so vague, Like I don't feel good at bad

716
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 4: about it, and dying is weird. I don't really care

717
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 4: what happens after you die. I'm pretty spiritual, but just

718
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 4: the idea that you're gonna have to experience infinity, that's

719
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 4: pretty strange.

720
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 3: M hm, you're gonna have to experience in art? Do

721
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 3: you believe?

722
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 8: What?

723
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 3: Why would we have to No, I'm gelling you curious,

724
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 3: I'm not, but like, why why would we have to

725
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 3: experience infinity? If we'll be dead, we wouldn't even we

726
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 3: wouldn't experience anything.

727
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 4: Well, I guess you know, if you just if there's

728
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 4: no experience after you die, I believe that there is

729
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 4: some experience after physical life, you know, whether that's not

730
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 4: really dying and go to heaven, but you know there's

731
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 4: some sort of you return to some sort of source

732
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 4: of something maybe or maybe you just.

733
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 5: Go.

734
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 3: So the final thing, I'll ask you, yeah, despite what

735
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 3: you believe, because you're bringing up all these options, maybe

736
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 3: you do, Maybe you don't. Maybe this maybe that you

737
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 3: kind of accepting that you don't really know. If you

738
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 3: could choose, if it were up to you, if you

739
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 3: could play god for a moment, what of these different

740
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 3: sort of maybees would you choose to be the correct way?

741
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:02,280
Speaker 5: Oh?

742
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 4: Man, I don't know, not really like have consciousness like

743
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 4: you do now, but almost just like I don't know,

744
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 4: because that's sort of weird, because sort of asking like

745
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 4: what do you want to happen when you die? And

746
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 4: I'm just like, I don't really, Yeah, I don't.

747
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 3: I don't know.

748
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 4: I don't really. I think i'd rather just if it had,

749
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 4: if I had to actually experience something, I just hope

750
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 4: it wouldn't be.

751
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 7: Too I'm like unpleasant.

752
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 4: Thank you for sharing, Yeah, no problem, thank you, good night, Rick,

753
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:43,959
Speaker 4: good night.

754
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 3: Lyle Rick had a. Rick had a good point about

755
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:51,319
Speaker 3: living in infinity that always used to scare me when

756
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 3: I was a kid. The idea of living forever, living

757
00:45:55,640 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 3: forever scares me way more than dying. If we just

758
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 3: are constantly reincarnated into something. Although I don't know, maybe

759
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 3: that's beautiful, Maybe it's cool. You get to be a butterfly,

760
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 3: you get to be an aunt, get to be a plant,

761
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 3: just forever your stuff. At least you're not alone, right Like,

762
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 3: if I'm here forever and my spirit is here forever,

763
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:34,680
Speaker 3: then everyone else is here forever. And you know, my

764
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 3: mom's spirit when she dies becomes something else, so she's

765
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 3: still there. You know my dad's spirit when he dies,

766
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 3: he is still there. The guy who works at the

767
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:50,280
Speaker 3: seven to eleven where I buy gummy worms from, he's

768
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:56,919
Speaker 3: he's still there somewhere, you know. So we're all kind

769
00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:08,439
Speaker 3: of chilling forever. Sit tight. It's a long road ahead. Hellop, Yeah,

770
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 3: how's how's everything going in uh various various h sections

771
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 3: of your life?

772
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 5: Ah, so far and it's uh it's looking up.

773
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

774
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:31,320
Speaker 5: Today is actually my birthday, so I mean, yeah, it

775
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 5: just started to work.

776
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 3: Is is is your birthday important to you? Is it

777
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:38,479
Speaker 3: like is it a big events or is it like.

778
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 5: A not really I over the years, I had a

779
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 5: kind of a big event around my birthday a few

780
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,359
Speaker 5: years ago. I live in a tower where drugs are

781
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 5: kind of pretty bad. But it got my mom and

782
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 5: her ex husband, but I was able to pull my

783
00:47:59,320 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 5: mom out.

784
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 4: But I don't really.

785
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 5: Care for birthdays too much or like, I don't know,

786
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 5: no cake, but uh yeah, I just wanted to call

787
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:23,320
Speaker 5: in say hi, Yeah, I don't know. I started smoking

788
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 5: a little bit ago before I started watching the stream,

789
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 5: so probably wasn't the best idea.

790
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 3: I was about to say. I was about to say,

791
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 3: are you are you bringing that up as a form

792
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 3: of like justification of your current behavior.

793
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 5: On Oh I'm a little bit spacey, it's fine.

794
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 3: Oh uh, why do you why do you feel like

795
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 3: your behavior needs some form of justification?

796
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 5: Oh, it's I don't know, it's something that I've done.

797
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 5: I constantly say sorry all the time, and yeah.

798
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:57,960
Speaker 3: What do you Why do you think you do that?

799
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:00,879
Speaker 5: For sure?

800
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 1: Yeah?

801
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 5: And I probably developed round some time after high school

802
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 5: where I graduated.

803
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 3: Oh so this is a thing that went on sort

804
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 3: of sort of late in your life. I fet how

805
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 3: old are now?

806
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 5: But I am twenty two.

807
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 3: Twenty two okay, And so for the last four years

808
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 3: you've been apologizing a lot.

809
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, pretty much after I kind of like moved out

810
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 5: of my my parents' house right before I graduated. Yeah,

811
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 5: I never really felt like I really had like a

812
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 5: place I don't to I don't know. I always felt

813
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 5: like in a way or like a burden.

814
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 3: But why are you trying to work on that? You're

815
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:56,400
Speaker 3: trying to apologize less?

816
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, it's one of those forces that habit things

817
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 5: now for four years, Like you said, mmm, but it

818
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 5: wasn't for sure. There's any uh topic.

819
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 3: Of are you still are you still? Are you still you?

820
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 7: All right?

821
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 3: What's happening right now. You're you're I can tell you

822
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:22,319
Speaker 3: feel like you're doing this wrong somehow is that? Am

823
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 3: I protecting that on you? Or is that that's what

824
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 3: it sounds like?

825
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of yeah, I'm always sure. I was just

826
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 5: watching the stream, uh, just recently, and I wasn't for sure.

827
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 5: There's any topic of choice.

828
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 3: What do you what if you were doing what do

829
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 3: you this is?

830
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 5: Like?

831
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 3: How what would you doing this correctly? Look? Even look like?

832
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 4: I don't know.

833
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 5: To be honest, I kind of wanted to come on

834
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 5: to get some sort of like I guess false guidance

835
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 5: if you will, because it's it's really comes in myself.

836
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 5: But uh, any sort of like way in on the

837
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 5: situation I'm dealing with.

838
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 3: Oh, it's what's Yeah, what'sh what's what's the situation? What's

839
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:08,080
Speaker 3: going on?

840
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 5: Yeah? So I I'm decently skilled with computers and like

841
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 5: a networking or like a cybersecurity kind of way.

842
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,320
Speaker 7: But the area where I live, it's.

843
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 5: Midwest and it's farming and random. I live in a

844
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 5: city where there's nothing here but I need to move.

845
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 5: But everyone in my family that I like talk to,

846
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 5: which I stopped talking to all of my family except for.

847
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 3: The few people.

848
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 5: Availa want me to stay. So I'm at an impasse.

849
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 5: Gek and I don't really know what to do. I

850
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 5: want to move and starts college, but you know it's

851
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 5: it's a cliche, like a small.

852
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 7: Town kind of thing.

853
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 3: I so you want to move and start Why why

854
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:56,280
Speaker 3: why can't you move and start college?

855
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 5: Well, uh, I don't know. It's well, it's gonna be.

856
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 3: Okay.

857
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 5: I'll just say fear. Yeah, the fear of fear.

858
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:16,359
Speaker 3: I was going to say, you seem and again, I'm

859
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,399
Speaker 3: I'm just a guy on the phone. I'm a stick

860
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,880
Speaker 3: gecko guy. I'm not a psycho, I'm not anything. I'm

861
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 3: a sick guy. But but listen, you seem scared. I

862
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 3: don't know. I don't know how to take this fear

863
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 3: out of you. But but we we both know it's there,

864
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 3: like a general fear or anxiety or whatever. I don't

865
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:35,399
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't have the skills to take

866
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 3: this fear out of you. I cannot, I cannot do

867
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 3: that for you. But we know it's there. We know

868
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 3: it's there. We know there's a fear. And I'm thinking,

869
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 3: I'm sitting here, I'm talking to you and I and

870
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 3: I know and because I don't feel fear for it

871
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 3: all right now, like you're afraid of like even just

872
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 3: how you're being on this phone call. And I know

873
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 3: from my perspective that you have nothing to be afraid of.

874
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 3: But I can't. I can't input that data from my

875
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:12,799
Speaker 3: end into your central nervous system and cause you to

876
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 3: not be afraid. So I don't. So I don't know,

877
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:18,879
Speaker 3: but I do know that your fear is or maybe

878
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 3: I don't know this, but work work with me here

879
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 3: as I come up with this uh, with this, with

880
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 3: this thing. I do know that your fear at the

881
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 3: very least on this call is unfounded. It's not helpful

882
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 3: or backed up by by anything sort of legitimate. So

883
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:44,520
Speaker 3: maybe maybe that could mean that your fear about other

884
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:51,879
Speaker 3: things is UH is on a a sandy foundation by

885
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 3: But again that's all that's all information. It doesn't it

886
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 3: won't compute with your central nervous system. You can't you

887
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 3: can't tell your you can't use logic to become unfearful

888
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:07,240
Speaker 3: or unnervous. I've tried it myself a lot, yeah, and

889
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 3: it never works.

890
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 5: It's been my problem because thats a very analytical mind

891
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 5: I like to break things down a lot and try

892
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:16,240
Speaker 5: to think of them logically.

893
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 3: But yeah, okay, so you're a very analytical guy. You

894
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:26,760
Speaker 3: break things down logically. How have you attempted to logic

895
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,800
Speaker 3: yourself out of fear and has that worked?

896
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 8: Like?

897
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 5: Uh so, I have bipolar. So it's it's it swings

898
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 5: of like where I feel, you know, good, and I

899
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 5: have those positive you know, like thinking processes. Because the

900
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,399
Speaker 5: only way you can change, like the way you can

901
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 5: actually I don't know necessarily I feel better, like succeed

902
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 5: quote unquote, is if you can, you know, put your

903
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,280
Speaker 5: yourself in the right mindset or set healthy mind habits

904
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 5: and like the way of thinking that it was positive,

905
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 5: I'll get in a good swing to that, you know,

906
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 5: do great then just kind of like a cycle, sell

907
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 5: and repeat. I've been trying to find the the the.

908
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 3: Point, you know, what's your end? Michael, Michael. Have you

909
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 3: spoken to a real Have you spoken to a real

910
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 3: therapist about your shoes? Oh?

911
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:27,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah?

912
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 3: And what do they tell you to do?

913
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 5: I'm underwent E. M.

914
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 1: D R.

915
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 5: Which is like a kind of like a which it

916
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 5: was psychotherapy and stuff. But yeah, I just have like

917
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 5: a lot of past traumas that was they were trying

918
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:47,720
Speaker 5: to unload and like put away in the filing cabinet.

919
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 5: If you will, so mhm, yeah, well.

920
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 3: I think you should move I that's that'll if if,

921
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 3: if you, if you did come here for me to

922
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:01,959
Speaker 3: weigh in anything, and I and I and I try

923
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 3: to fucking I guess I try to weigh in as

924
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 3: little as I can. But I think you should move

925
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 3: right because what no, you know you don't think you

926
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:15,239
Speaker 3: should have shouldn't. But I hope I'm not being a

927
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 3: dick to you. I I it sounds like I'm being

928
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:23,080
Speaker 3: a dick. I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm

929
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:25,359
Speaker 3: saying all these things. I'm actually just saying all these

930
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 3: same I'm like thinking. I feel like the majority of

931
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,400
Speaker 3: my talking has been me just sort of thinking aloud

932
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 3: to myself, which maybe is maybe is being a dick.

933
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 3: The point is, I'm a big, fat green dick. But

934
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:45,399
Speaker 3: I think, would you say, Michael, Michael, I think, look,

935
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, you're twenty two. Where

936
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 3: where are we moving to? Where are we moving out of?

937
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 5: I had what I really wanted to like a bigger city.

938
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 3: Just where where where are we? Right? Now where are

939
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 3: we right now?

940
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 5: Right now? We're fucking Central Indiana.

941
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 3: We're in Central and we want to move to a

942
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,480
Speaker 3: big city. What what? What? What big city? Give you

943
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:12,480
Speaker 3: some big cities? Where where ever? We think we're going

944
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 3: to New York, We're going to Philly, We're going to

945
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 3: l A. Where are we going the awesome?

946
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 5: I was thinking probably Seattle? And like it kind of

947
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 5: sounds ridiculous, Like.

948
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 3: Why does it sound? Why is that your gut? That's

949
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 3: that's what I want to know. And I'm not a

950
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 3: real therapist. I'm trying to be careful here, But why

951
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 3: why is that? Why is it? Why is it ridiculous?

952
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 3: Why is it off the bat ridiculous?

953
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 5: Well, here, at least you know a lot of people.

954
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 7: From where I live.

955
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 5: At least they it's always the safety and that.

956
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 3: Kind of thing.

957
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 5: They always want to you know, I don't. They don't

958
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 5: want to go very far do big things.

959
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 3: Mike, Fuck those people. Okay, Within you, within you, I know,

960
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,600
Speaker 3: I know you have you, you've got your stuff, I

961
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 3: know you've got your fear. But within you, deep in,

962
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 3: and I could sense this from you from talking to you.

963
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 3: Within you, though you may have your obstacles of fear.

964
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 3: You have this little burning light that that desires to

965
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 3: uh do things in spite of those obstacles. I hear

966
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 3: that within you. Mike, you want to move or else

967
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 3: you wouldn't you, or else you wouldn't have called me.

968
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 3: You wouldn't have brought it up. You wouldn't it, wouldn't

969
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 3: have thought, wouldn't have even come to the surface of

970
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 3: your mind. You want to live a more rich life,

971
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 3: you want new experiences. But all these fucking people in

972
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 3: your Indiana town have this way of thinking that's like

973
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 3: rubbing off on you. Don't don't let that happen to you, Mike,

974
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 3: because look, I know that you're afraid. But here's the thing, dude,

975
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 3: is you're afraid, but you can still do these things

976
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 3: in spite of your fear. You know, like, yes, these

977
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 3: are obstacles that you have to overcome, but I still

978
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 3: think you could do these things in spite of them.

979
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 3: So you know, I don't I just I don't care

980
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 3: what you know, your dad, or your neighbor or your

981
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,360
Speaker 3: classmate thinks about you going to Seattle. You want to go,

982
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 3: I could I can tell I know I have barely

983
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 3: been letting you speak this entire time. But I just

984
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 3: I can tell that you want to go, Mike.

985
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, because now I'm at the point where I mean, like,

986
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 5: I don't I don't even see myself having anything to lose,

987
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 5: you know, I mean, I might as well try rather

988
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 5: than not and then being regretful and thinking about it

989
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 5: for the rest of my It's small, you know, like

990
00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 5: the rest of my existence on this rock, working at

991
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:56,720
Speaker 5: a restaurant job or a dead end factory, because that's

992
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 5: all that's here is restaurant factory.

993
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 3: Mike, you should be in my Mike, I'm not a

994
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 3: real therapist, but you got it. You should be nicer

995
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 3: to yourself, man, should be nice to yourself, should give

996
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 3: yourself more credit. Because all the people around you, it

997
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 3: sounds like are are are are thinking small. But within

998
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 3: you want to think big. And I think I think

999
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:19,240
Speaker 3: you should listen to listen to that voice that's thinking

1000
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 3: big for your life. And and and I guess I

1001
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 3: can just I can tell like you just you have

1002
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 3: a thought and then you attack it with like negativity

1003
01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 3: or whatever whatever it is. But but but I don't know.

1004
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 3: I'm not a real therapist, and I don't I don't

1005
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 3: want to pretend to be. But all I will tell

1006
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:46,040
Speaker 3: you Mike before we go is from talking to you again,

1007
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 3: I see within uh I can. I can hear it

1008
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 3: in your voice. You desire to do things in spite

1009
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 3: of the obstacles to doing them that you've described to

1010
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 3: me as well, so that that is within you, and

1011
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 3: I believe you can overcome those obstacles.

1012
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:09,360
Speaker 5: Thank you, Gek. That means a lot. It's it's good,

1013
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 5: a pleasure, a great birthday. I have a good night chat.

1014
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 4: Thank you.

1015
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 5: Gonna be lurking for the foreseeable future.

1016
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:20,919
Speaker 3: Hello, Devin, Yeah, I'm here.

1017
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 9: Is this Gek?

1018
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 3: This is Gek, this is me?

1019
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 9: Oh shit, hey man, It's an honor and privilege.

1020
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:32,680
Speaker 3: Honestly, it's a fucking honor and privilege that anyone calls

1021
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:36,440
Speaker 3: into this thing. So thanks for being on the phone

1022
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,840
Speaker 3: with me, Devin. What's what's going on? Is there anything

1023
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 3: you want to talk about?

1024
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:45,000
Speaker 9: I am a real estate photographer, Okay, So anytime a

1025
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:51,440
Speaker 9: person is getting ready to sell and an agent reaches

1026
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 9: out to me to do the marketing, and I'm a

1027
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:58,320
Speaker 9: pretty busy boy. I probably average four to five homes

1028
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:00,920
Speaker 9: a day, so you got to think that's five different

1029
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 9: households five different lives. I'm just kind of walking into

1030
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:10,439
Speaker 9: and like kind of getting it behind the scenes look

1031
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 9: really quickly. I mean you can you can only decipher

1032
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 9: so much in an hour or two hour appointments. But

1033
01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 9: people are very They're a lot more alike than they

1034
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 9: want to believe in a lot of ways.

1035
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:30,920
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, you're a real estate photographer. You're constantly

1036
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 3: meeting a lot of people doing this gig, and not

1037
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 3: only meeting them, but meeting where they live. Meeting Yeah, I.

1038
01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:41,120
Speaker 9: Get to go into their dwelling. I mean, how crazy

1039
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,360
Speaker 9: is That's like, hey, yeah, here's my sir bedroom, this

1040
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 9: is where all my possessions are.

1041
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:47,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, not only.

1042
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:53,120
Speaker 9: A big part of my job is to kind of

1043
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:56,760
Speaker 9: coach them to get their home looking the best it can.

1044
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 9: And you know, we all live in our homes, so

1045
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 9: it is kind of impossible to like make a photo

1046
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 9: ready at all times. So like, not only do I

1047
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 9: have to go into their home, I have to like

1048
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 9: touch all of their things, which is you know, and

1049
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 9: especially COVID times that's a little it's a little sensitive.

1050
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 3: Now, Well, real quick, I don't want to lose this

1051
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 3: because I want to I want to hear what you

1052
01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:23,960
Speaker 3: mean by this, you said, people are more like than

1053
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:27,440
Speaker 3: they are, people are more like than they think. What

1054
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:29,320
Speaker 3: what led you to that conclusion?

1055
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:33,479
Speaker 9: Just like, man, it's hard to put it into a word,

1056
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 9: but when people like present themselves, they all do it

1057
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:42,080
Speaker 9: in a very similar manner. Basically, there's personality type a's

1058
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:47,520
Speaker 9: type BS, type c's, et cetera. And the people who

1059
01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 9: have like the picture perfect home and everything's immaculate, they

1060
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:53,920
Speaker 9: all kind of like carry each other carry themselves the

1061
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 9: same exact way. They use like very similar verbiage. They

1062
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 9: have very similar to pore sometimes and items and it's just,

1063
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,040
Speaker 9: you know, like I said, when you're like going into

1064
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:11,040
Speaker 9: these communities and you're like going into people's homes, you

1065
01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 9: you get to line up all the similarities very quickly.

1066
01:04:16,040 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 9: And yeah, it's just it's just a kind of a

1067
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 9: mind fuck. Really, like we're a lot more similar than different,

1068
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:25,920
Speaker 9: and we're all, I think, we're all just trying to

1069
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 9: do the very very best we can.

1070
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 5: You know, And.

1071
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 9: A lot of a lot of what I found is

1072
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 9: these families with large families, Like you know, I've I've

1073
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:42,760
Speaker 9: walked in the homes with like children of ten. Honestly, Like,

1074
01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 9: the more people there are at home, the merrier it is,

1075
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,360
Speaker 9: which is not bizarre, but it's like you would think

1076
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 9: with so many different personalities there be a lot more

1077
01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:54,040
Speaker 9: tensions or dramas, and it's kind of the opposites, like

1078
01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:58,880
Speaker 9: the more people involve, the more helping hands there can

1079
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 9: be the achieve or a tackle a problem. So it's like,

1080
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:06,280
Speaker 9: if you have any goals, I have big families. I

1081
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 9: can tell you there's a very specific energy around that.

1082
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 6: And although that sounds sounds exhausting, Brady Bunch, right, they

1083
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 6: tell me that it gets a lot easier after child

1084
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 6: like six, because they're all kind of starting.

1085
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:31,640
Speaker 9: To help a lot, and they're old. They're older, and

1086
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 9: I could just takes the village.

1087
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 3: You know, if I were like the if I were

1088
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:41,880
Speaker 3: like one of the first three, I'd be pretty offended

1089
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:46,720
Speaker 3: if my parents had five more because because at that point,

1090
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 3: it's like, you're not having ten kids unless if something

1091
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 3: about the first few you were just like.

1092
01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:01,200
Speaker 9: We need to do over here, right, You're kind of

1093
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:02,280
Speaker 9: like the beta test.

1094
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're kind of like a beta test and then

1095
01:06:04,320 --> 01:06:06,480
Speaker 3: there was something wrong with you where they were like,

1096
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:09,360
Speaker 3: you know what, all right, we fucked up these kids.

1097
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 3: But let's try again, let's have five more.

1098
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:17,800
Speaker 9: God do you do you have any kids? Mister?

1099
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:18,840
Speaker 5: Are you?

1100
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:24,880
Speaker 3: Oh? God, that would be such a terrible I don't

1101
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:27,160
Speaker 3: think I'll I don't think I'll always be a terrible parent.

1102
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:30,120
Speaker 3: But I think if I had a kid by a

1103
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:33,400
Speaker 3: kid right now, like if a kid popped out of

1104
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:41,520
Speaker 3: my dick hole immediately, yeah I would, it would he

1105
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 3: would not be having a good life right now.

1106
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:47,240
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm a parent of two kids.

1107
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:55,840
Speaker 3: Your parents, well, oh well, you can't call it, you know,

1108
01:06:56,600 --> 01:07:00,200
Speaker 3: a little blasted first. But you you like them both?

1109
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 3: Do they like each other?

1110
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,200
Speaker 9: You know, there's six and three. They're so different. I mean,

1111
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 9: I love them both the same. There is a big

1112
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:13,080
Speaker 9: difference between boys and girls, in my opinion. Boys are

1113
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:17,200
Speaker 9: a lot more They're a lot more physical learners, so

1114
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:20,160
Speaker 9: they need to touch everything, pull everything apart, jump off

1115
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:23,080
Speaker 9: the couch to learn about gravity, you know, get the

1116
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 9: bunk on the head, that kind of stuff. When girls

1117
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 9: are a little more in tune with like like they're

1118
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 9: smarter in a sense, like they actually get reality as

1119
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:39,920
Speaker 9: it comes in and can decipher it just through observation,

1120
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,439
Speaker 9: I would say, And.

1121
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 3: They don't have to touch pain on them if it's dry.

1122
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 9: Yeah, no, they like, oh, obviously paint is wet. You

1123
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:53,080
Speaker 9: just put it up. It's still wet. Let's not touch that,

1124
01:07:53,920 --> 01:07:59,000
Speaker 9: you know. So, but there's with boys, it's a little

1125
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:03,080
Speaker 9: harder in the beginning to because you know, they break

1126
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:07,480
Speaker 9: everything and that's just part of it. And people don't

1127
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:10,880
Speaker 9: really tell you this as someone who doesn't have kids.

1128
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:13,200
Speaker 9: They just say, well, have kids, it's great. They don't

1129
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 9: let you know, like, hey, you're going to like literally

1130
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:19,840
Speaker 9: question everything in life by having kids and watch them

1131
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:22,720
Speaker 9: just destroy everything around you that you built and that

1132
01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 9: you loved. And it's just part of the process of

1133
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:29,800
Speaker 9: being a good parents, like having the biggest thing I've

1134
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,720
Speaker 9: probably gained through being a parent is patience. Like I'm

1135
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:35,599
Speaker 9: kind of like the zen Master at this moment. Yeah,

1136
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:37,920
Speaker 9: just because you have to be. You have to be.

1137
01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:41,280
Speaker 9: They test you. Man, there, it's hard. Being a parent

1138
01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:44,679
Speaker 9: is not easy, and especially if you're trying to set

1139
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,280
Speaker 9: them up to be a better version of you, because

1140
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 9: I think that's all we kind of really want is

1141
01:08:49,160 --> 01:08:51,720
Speaker 9: to do a little bit better than our parents said,

1142
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:55,640
Speaker 9: not a ton, just leave a little bit, you know.

1143
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:58,479
Speaker 9: It's like, hey, if I never got a car, growing

1144
01:08:58,600 --> 01:09:01,080
Speaker 9: up as a teenager. So I want to be able

1145
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:04,559
Speaker 9: to leave them a car just because I know like

1146
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:09,560
Speaker 9: it can be an enabling force to make him more successful,

1147
01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:12,840
Speaker 9: like speed up the timeline for them. That's like when

1148
01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:16,120
Speaker 9: I can't step in and spoil them with like finances,

1149
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:18,400
Speaker 9: it's only to like speed up the timeline.

1150
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:19,160
Speaker 5: It's not to.

1151
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,280
Speaker 9: Actually spoil them. It's to be like, hey, you don't

1152
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:24,439
Speaker 9: need to have this much of a struggle here you go.

1153
01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:25,760
Speaker 5: You know.

1154
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:28,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's nice of you to try to provide

1155
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:30,280
Speaker 3: them with the things that you didn't have when you

1156
01:09:30,320 --> 01:09:30,960
Speaker 3: were growing up.

1157
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:35,960
Speaker 9: Yeah, it does feel good, It really does.

1158
01:09:37,760 --> 01:09:41,320
Speaker 3: HM. So you said you've had a lot of patience.

1159
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:44,400
Speaker 3: I feel like this patience it comes from like a

1160
01:09:45,720 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 3: patience by fire sort of sort of way. Like it's

1161
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:53,920
Speaker 3: like you got to develop patience or else you will, uh,

1162
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:55,320
Speaker 3: you will lose.

1163
01:09:57,240 --> 01:09:59,679
Speaker 9: No, that's absolutely it. Yeah you have to.

1164
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 3: What about what about your h Do you have a

1165
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:10,400
Speaker 3: partner of some kind? Are they involved in this? Or

1166
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 3: are you raising the kids yourself?

1167
01:10:11,880 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 9: Do you have a lovely wife?

1168
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:13,560
Speaker 1: No?

1169
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 9: I feel like, you know, and it's so weird. I'm

1170
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:18,679
Speaker 9: thirty five years old. I'm looking at these younger kids

1171
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:21,759
Speaker 9: who you know, and I get the whole, like tender

1172
01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:26,920
Speaker 9: apps and the Internet of things and having that immediacy. Yeah,

1173
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:29,200
Speaker 9: but they're not learning. They're not learning how to like

1174
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 9: build anything long term or like actually deal with shit,

1175
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:35,519
Speaker 9: because when you can just say peace out and go

1176
01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:37,559
Speaker 9: to the next person until you need to say peace

1177
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 9: out again, you're not really facing that challenge and like

1178
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:46,000
Speaker 9: overcoming it and growing. You're just you're to me, you're

1179
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:48,680
Speaker 9: just damaging yourself or you're just you know, hindering your

1180
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:50,639
Speaker 9: own growth as a personally.

1181
01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 3: Do you think that Do you think that having multiple

1182
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:59,040
Speaker 3: partners instead of just sticking to one person is actively damaging?

1183
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:07,480
Speaker 9: It really depends. I mean, I was raised in a

1184
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:12,919
Speaker 9: fairly conservative household. I've never really been a fan of authority.

1185
01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:16,400
Speaker 9: My father was law enforcement, so that I did not

1186
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 9: like that. Growing up very fucking strict, insanely strict.

1187
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:25,240
Speaker 3: And are you are you significantly less strict?

1188
01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:30,920
Speaker 9: You know, I don't know yet because the kind of

1189
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 9: strictness I'm talking about. You don't really have to deal

1190
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:38,000
Speaker 9: with those things until like later in life. You know,

1191
01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:40,200
Speaker 9: there's six and three. There's not much they can do

1192
01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 9: other than destroying my stuff. Just by not understanding.

1193
01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:46,560
Speaker 3: Have they been destroying your stuff's been on understanding?

1194
01:11:47,200 --> 01:11:51,599
Speaker 9: Oh dude, thousands my sons destroyed thousands of my gear

1195
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:52,280
Speaker 9: is not cheap.

1196
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:55,439
Speaker 3: Oh god, what's he doing? What's is he fucking with

1197
01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:56,320
Speaker 3: the cameras.

1198
01:11:55,960 --> 01:12:05,719
Speaker 9: And cameras, monitors, drive button mouth and stuff. No? No, okay,

1199
01:12:05,800 --> 01:12:09,120
Speaker 9: So he like literally shoved my iMac and my like

1200
01:12:09,360 --> 01:12:13,360
Speaker 9: three thousand dollars twenty terbyte hard dripe just off the desk,

1201
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:15,240
Speaker 9: just wanted it off.

1202
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:16,280
Speaker 7: So it's off.

1203
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:19,320
Speaker 9: Thank God for insurance.

1204
01:12:20,360 --> 01:12:22,760
Speaker 3: So this is why I'm not. I can't have a kid.

1205
01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:27,960
Speaker 9: You just have to like baby proof, baby proof more

1206
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:30,080
Speaker 9: than you because I thought it was babyproofed. No, he

1207
01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:33,599
Speaker 9: showed me he got into the office. And that's the thing.

1208
01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:35,479
Speaker 9: It really depends on your kid, if they're really like,

1209
01:12:36,760 --> 01:12:39,200
Speaker 9: if they're really not to say, he's like really intelligent,

1210
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:41,280
Speaker 9: but he just figures it out. That would never think

1211
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:47,200
Speaker 9: he could figure out. You know, this was an interesting.

1212
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:52,200
Speaker 3: This was an interesting sort of look into you know,

1213
01:12:52,439 --> 01:12:54,439
Speaker 3: it's a you know, what I like about doing this

1214
01:12:54,520 --> 01:13:00,160
Speaker 3: is that we have all kinds of people call in, Like,

1215
01:13:00,360 --> 01:13:04,439
Speaker 3: you know, I talked to a guy yesterday and then

1216
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:08,479
Speaker 3: I used on Monday, who is your age? And he

1217
01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:12,080
Speaker 3: was like, you know, I'm gonna I don't I don't

1218
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:17,160
Speaker 3: have a wife or kids or a job or anything

1219
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:20,040
Speaker 3: like that. I'm just gonna peace out and become a nomad.

1220
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:23,280
Speaker 3: You know, I have I have people who are you know,

1221
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:29,320
Speaker 3: trying to live that sort of traditional life, right. You know,

1222
01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:32,000
Speaker 3: there's people who are all sorts of lives and have

1223
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 3: all sorts of desires, of all sorts of ages. And

1224
01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:41,040
Speaker 3: it's very cool to hear it's and it just always

1225
01:13:41,080 --> 01:13:45,240
Speaker 3: instills into me that there is no one correct way

1226
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:48,320
Speaker 3: to do it. You know, everyone's wired differently, everyone has

1227
01:13:48,400 --> 01:13:56,240
Speaker 3: different paths to their own happiness, and it's very cool

1228
01:13:56,360 --> 01:14:00,880
Speaker 3: to see, Like, like I think, you know, would you

1229
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:03,080
Speaker 3: say that if if you didn't have your wife and

1230
01:14:03,120 --> 01:14:05,120
Speaker 3: your children and your job, and you were just sort

1231
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:11,880
Speaker 3: of wandering around visiting new places all by yourself, You know,

1232
01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:14,040
Speaker 3: maybe you would be if I.

1233
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:17,719
Speaker 9: Was okay, if I was no, because I could totally see,

1234
01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:22,280
Speaker 9: you know, like I've always gravitated towards the arts, so

1235
01:14:23,040 --> 01:14:25,280
Speaker 9: I could pick up a guitar and draw a crowd

1236
01:14:25,400 --> 01:14:28,840
Speaker 9: or a piano or whatever I need to do. And

1237
01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:33,120
Speaker 9: this whole experience with like generating revenue from my creativity

1238
01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:37,479
Speaker 9: with the photography, I could see like, man, if I

1239
01:14:37,560 --> 01:14:40,040
Speaker 9: was single, I could just like live out of a

1240
01:14:40,160 --> 01:14:43,960
Speaker 9: van because all my I mean my gears. It is expensive,

1241
01:14:44,040 --> 01:14:47,599
Speaker 9: but it's like the the footprint of it's very small.

1242
01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:50,559
Speaker 9: So I only need like a pelican case worth of

1243
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:54,320
Speaker 9: gear and a laptop and I'm able to generate six

1244
01:14:54,360 --> 01:14:57,559
Speaker 9: figures wherever I want. So, you know, having that kind

1245
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:02,919
Speaker 9: of freedom, Yeah, stude, I'm I'm incredibly incredibly kids.

1246
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:06,519
Speaker 3: But the but the con is that your your son

1247
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:09,760
Speaker 3: won't be there to take your guitar and and throw

1248
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:10,760
Speaker 3: it off a cliff.

1249
01:15:10,479 --> 01:15:14,639
Speaker 9: And mash it. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean and that's

1250
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:16,320
Speaker 9: you know, that's and that's the whole thing. It's like,

1251
01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:19,040
Speaker 9: if that were to happen, sure it sucks, but do

1252
01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:20,439
Speaker 9: it makes a good story. So you have to think

1253
01:15:20,479 --> 01:15:23,880
Speaker 9: on the flip side, you know, like think about the

1254
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:26,400
Speaker 9: badass story or yeah, you gotta be like, hey, we're

1255
01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:29,080
Speaker 9: at the Grand Canyon and you know, I just got

1256
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:32,640
Speaker 9: done with the job and took the kids out and

1257
01:15:32,720 --> 01:15:35,920
Speaker 9: pick the guitar, and Liam grabbed it and started playing

1258
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:40,120
Speaker 9: and then immediately threw it off the freaking down the Cliff,

1259
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:42,720
Speaker 9: it makes a badass story kind of.

1260
01:15:43,479 --> 01:15:47,840
Speaker 3: Well, Devin, Also, I appreciate you, uh sharing your perspective

1261
01:15:47,880 --> 01:15:50,000
Speaker 3: with us. It's definitely as I said, it's very interesting

1262
01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:53,920
Speaker 3: to get all these different callers, different perspectives on things,

1263
01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:57,559
Speaker 3: and hear from everyone at different states in their journey

1264
01:15:57,680 --> 01:16:00,840
Speaker 3: to whatever it is that they're looking for. If it's

1265
01:16:01,479 --> 01:16:07,160
Speaker 3: you know, uh, just general calmness or stability or adventure

1266
01:16:07,439 --> 01:16:11,519
Speaker 3: or or whatever it is, it's uh, it's very interesting

1267
01:16:11,560 --> 01:16:14,360
Speaker 3: to hear your take on all this, man is Is

1268
01:16:14,360 --> 01:16:16,840
Speaker 3: there anything else you want to say to the to

1269
01:16:16,880 --> 01:16:17,960
Speaker 3: the people before we go?

1270
01:16:19,360 --> 01:16:23,639
Speaker 9: Yeah, just do you like a hundred if you want

1271
01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:25,920
Speaker 9: to be a doctor, do that grind at the college

1272
01:16:25,960 --> 01:16:30,240
Speaker 9: and get that awesome piece of paper and grind. Also,

1273
01:16:30,439 --> 01:16:34,120
Speaker 9: medical industry is gay, But if you want to do that,

1274
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:35,040
Speaker 9: do that.

1275
01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:39,960
Speaker 3: Do you say the medical industry?

1276
01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:43,720
Speaker 9: Do we need we need medical reform in this country? Crazy?

1277
01:16:44,160 --> 01:16:46,840
Speaker 9: That's another thing. Going to all these people's homes, I

1278
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:49,800
Speaker 9: can't tell you how many people have fucking pills upon

1279
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:52,960
Speaker 9: pills upon pills upon It breaks my freaking heart.

1280
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:55,200
Speaker 3: Did you did you say did you say the medical

1281
01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:56,120
Speaker 3: industry was gay?

1282
01:16:56,280 --> 01:16:56,680
Speaker 1: Or what?

1283
01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:58,840
Speaker 3: Did you say it was not not.

1284
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:03,160
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean that's probably the wrong word. It's it's

1285
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:07,600
Speaker 9: medical industry is a scam.

1286
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:11,519
Speaker 3: Oh for lack of a I I didn't understand what

1287
01:17:11,640 --> 01:17:12,519
Speaker 3: you were saying.

1288
01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:14,440
Speaker 9: It's not literally homosexual.

1289
01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:16,360
Speaker 3: No, okay, that's why I thought. That's why I thought

1290
01:17:16,360 --> 01:17:17,240
Speaker 3: you I was confused.

1291
01:17:17,880 --> 01:17:21,720
Speaker 9: Yeah I was, but no, just you know, go for

1292
01:17:21,880 --> 01:17:23,599
Speaker 9: go for the shoot for the stars, like if you

1293
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:28,839
Speaker 9: if you want to be a creative mind, go to college,

1294
01:17:29,439 --> 01:17:33,800
Speaker 9: find people equally as passionate about you as you and

1295
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:37,080
Speaker 9: actually just create with them as someone will notice. That's

1296
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:39,960
Speaker 9: all it takes. All this is about is the enriching

1297
01:17:39,960 --> 01:17:42,120
Speaker 9: each other's lives, and if you can tap into any

1298
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:43,800
Speaker 9: facet of that, you're going to be lucrative and you're

1299
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:44,600
Speaker 9: gonna be successful.

1300
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:48,760
Speaker 3: Well, Devin, no matter what, gek bless you help you

1301
01:17:49,160 --> 01:17:52,840
Speaker 3: continue your climb into the Republican tax bracket. And it's

1302
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:53,479
Speaker 3: pleasure talking.

1303
01:17:53,479 --> 01:17:58,800
Speaker 9: Hey, get keep on keep an eye man, Thank you man.

1304
01:17:58,880 --> 01:18:01,760
Speaker 3: Talk to you soon. H You know what, I I

1305
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:07,599
Speaker 3: appreciate that. I am you know what. The medical industry. Yeah,

1306
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:12,880
Speaker 3: he's right, it's it's a little gay at the end.

1307
01:18:12,920 --> 01:18:16,519
Speaker 3: He's he's he had a point. He had a point.

1308
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:22,720
Speaker 4: Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

1309
01:18:23,160 --> 01:18:28,040
Speaker 3: Everything goes to his teaching you cloud line that he's

1310
01:18:28,160 --> 01:18:29,800
Speaker 3: not really an expert.