WEBVTT - Adult Education: Super Powers

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast

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<v Speaker 1>and The Queen's Back. Hi yay.

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<v Speaker 2>I love how in the rundown it says was the

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<v Speaker 2>laundry done? The producers of About Me doubt you was it?

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<v Speaker 1>Was it not? Was it ending in the launder room?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean the kids bags were still all packed. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's fine, No, it's it's fine. It was. It was not.

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<v Speaker 2>It was not a messy house to go to home too.

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<v Speaker 2>And I didn't know it wasn't. No, it is fine, Han,

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<v Speaker 2>it goes alan, But I like I knew, you know

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<v Speaker 2>that I would come home to that bag, like the

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<v Speaker 2>kids bags still closing their bags and not put away

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<v Speaker 2>like I knew.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, and I'm like, okay, what kind of funny thing

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<v Speaker 1>about that?

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<v Speaker 2>You asked Sarah to do it and she didn't do it?

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, no. The kid's bags that was put

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<v Speaker 1>in the room was actually full of clothes that I

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<v Speaker 1>had washed while we were in Lexington. Okay, So can

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<v Speaker 1>I get some sort.

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<v Speaker 2>Of no, because that airbnb smelled like a mothball, and

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<v Speaker 2>so all of those clothes when I opened the thing up,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I first of all, they weren't like folded

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<v Speaker 2>and put in the bag, so they were just all wrinkly.

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<v Speaker 2>And then when I smelt it, He's like those are clean.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, it smells like a giant mothball. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't put these into the dresser.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was pretty busy baby when I go back,

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<v Speaker 1>but it wasn't nice. Guess anyway, I've got a question

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<v Speaker 1>for you. So I was talking to one of my

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<v Speaker 1>clients last night about superpowers. Okay, and there's a thing

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<v Speaker 1>that discuss quite a lot with clients because they each

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<v Speaker 1>have the superpower which is their main strength in goal scoring.

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<v Speaker 1>And I come off the call and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder what Jana's superpower would be if she could

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<v Speaker 1>have one. If I could no restrictions, you could have

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<v Speaker 1>a super power, what would it be be.

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<v Speaker 2>In two places at once? I think that's pretty much

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<v Speaker 2>every mom's superpower. Maybe, or maybe I don't. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>say ever. Maybe some is like disappear, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>but like for me, it's to be in two places

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<v Speaker 2>at once. Yeah, what about hers?

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<v Speaker 1>But to be to see into your mind and your thoughts,

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<v Speaker 1>not in a stock creepy way.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm such an open book, though, I could see

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<v Speaker 2>me having that with you because you're very you you

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<v Speaker 2>internalize everything I've I've at a place where I just

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<v Speaker 2>say whatever I'm thinking. There's nothing that would be in

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<v Speaker 2>my mind that you wouldn't know about, Like you know

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<v Speaker 2>when I'm pissed, you know when I'm frustrated, you know

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<v Speaker 2>when I'm sad. You know what I'm and you don't. Honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>you'd be exhausting if you were in my mind. The

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<v Speaker 2>amount of things that I think about, like the amount

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<v Speaker 2>that we moms have to do, that we have to

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<v Speaker 2>think about because our brains actually do think more than men.

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<v Speaker 2>That's it's a scientific, proven fact, you know it seriously,

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<v Speaker 2>is like we can google it right now. It is

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<v Speaker 2>a scientific fact that women have more thoughts going on.

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<v Speaker 2>I sent you that thing too on Instagram. It said

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to butcher it. Actually on my phone's recording.

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<v Speaker 2>It was basically like it was funny the amount of time.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, do you have your phone?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Hold up?

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<v Speaker 2>It was like something about what we'll say it. But

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<v Speaker 2>that to the point is we have a lot on

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<v Speaker 2>our mind. So and there are times.

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<v Speaker 1>Where statistics show that women spend more time wondering what

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<v Speaker 1>men are thinking than men spend thinking.

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly like that is the most accurate statistic ever. I stop,

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<v Speaker 2>it's a statistic.

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<v Speaker 1>Ok yeah, there's a better truth than that.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you want to change your superpower? Because I think.

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<v Speaker 1>My superpower would be.

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<v Speaker 2>Because again, don't you agree that I kind of say.

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<v Speaker 1>That would be to master simplicity and make things simple.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that as a superpower. As I'm building this up,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm recognizing and reading until the business people maximizing and

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<v Speaker 1>monetizing simplicity as a superpower that I will achieve at

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<v Speaker 1>some point.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but you gotta like this is it's more fun

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<v Speaker 2>to have an actual superpower, Like that's something you can do.

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<v Speaker 2>Superpower is like being invisible. Ah, fly a fly on

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<v Speaker 2>the wall. Why do you want to know things?

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<v Speaker 1>Though?

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<v Speaker 2>Trust me?

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<v Speaker 1>Why I said I would want to be able to fly?

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<v Speaker 3>Fly?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? I thought you meant like a fly on the wall.

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<v Speaker 1>No, be able to fly? Like if you're annoying me,

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<v Speaker 1>I can jump out the window and just fly.

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<v Speaker 2>Why does that lead back to me I'm annoying you?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I don't feel like you're in the car drive

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<v Speaker 1>I can just go and fly about everywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen. I used to my superpower used to be or

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<v Speaker 2>used to I used to want to be a fly

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<v Speaker 2>on the wall. And this last week has taught me

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<v Speaker 2>that I don't want to be anywhere near things because

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<v Speaker 2>I know too much information about certain things right now

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<v Speaker 2>that I wish I didn't know. And I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to be in a fly in the wall because it

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<v Speaker 2>is exhausting and it has been challenging to say the least.

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<v Speaker 2>So that is a superpower that I have thrown away.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to know.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well you're no longer to fly in the wall.

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<v Speaker 1>We can be something else.

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<v Speaker 2>So I've got a request a two places in once Boom.

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<v Speaker 1>So I've seen as as as the app, Niel's closer

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<v Speaker 1>and things are ramping up. Finally, I've been looking into

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<v Speaker 1>social media stuff on like funny posts that I can

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<v Speaker 1>help the market it. Although I'm going to have someone

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<v Speaker 1>that does this, but those are really it's a really

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<v Speaker 1>funny one and I wondered if you would actually take

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<v Speaker 1>part in it.

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<v Speaker 2>I sent it if I would take part in an

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<v Speaker 2>Instagram reil. Do you know how many times I've been begging

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<v Speaker 2>you to a bib. You need to start like posting things.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but this one is funny. But you're on the

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<v Speaker 1>receiving end of something.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, so this guy is embarrassed myself.

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<v Speaker 1>Enough on, but this guy is. This guy is dreaming, right,

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<v Speaker 1>He's dreaming and the ball is coming. He's in the

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<v Speaker 1>eighteen yard box right. The ball's coming high over the

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<v Speaker 1>top of the defender and it comes towards him and

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<v Speaker 1>he just needs to volley it, and the goal like

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<v Speaker 1>the stadium's packed. And then when he hits, when he

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<v Speaker 1>volleys the ball, it jumps straight to he's actually in

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<v Speaker 1>bed with he's misses and he boots, half, don't let

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<v Speaker 1>me show you now. And I sent it to you

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<v Speaker 1>so you can. You can add content you're actually take it.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually but you Yeah, well I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>be booted softly, like like it's a funny post.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, as long as it's not to the face.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's your's your also, But you're lying. We're almost

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<v Speaker 1>like in a spooning possession. And I'm dreaming and I just.

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<v Speaker 2>Go and I'm like, oh, okay, that's funny. I'll do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Stay tuned, Stay tuned. Okay, Hey into a few fan

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<v Speaker 2>questions because I think it's fun. Oh, I have a question,

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<v Speaker 2>just back to host chat. Has it been easier hard

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<v Speaker 2>to get back into the normal groove of things since May?

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<v Speaker 2>Being back?

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<v Speaker 1>It's been easy?

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<v Speaker 2>Why are you doing that?

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<v Speaker 1>Look, well we've only been We've only been back one

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<v Speaker 1>working day, haven't we Yeah. The weekend we came back.

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<v Speaker 1>We drove back and we had a pool straight.

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<v Speaker 2>To a pool party. And You're like, do do I

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<v Speaker 2>have to go? And I said, yes, you do. And

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<v Speaker 2>you met a mate.

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<v Speaker 1>You met him make listen casting a net for some mates.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so funny. How guys work. I'm like, did you

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<v Speaker 2>guys get each other's numbers?

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<v Speaker 1>No, Big said, they was shait at golf and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>shitty golf. So we can friends boom and be shaited

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<v Speaker 1>golf together. But he wants to play and I want

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<v Speaker 1>to play.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah that's cute. Yes, but yes, we got back and

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<v Speaker 2>then Sunday we went to church.

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<v Speaker 1>Monday, Yeah, the be entry was we had a good weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was good.

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<v Speaker 1>We've planted stuff the planet flowers.

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<v Speaker 2>I got a random text message. It was really funny

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't know who actually it is, but I

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<v Speaker 2>did respond back because I didn't I wanted to know

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<v Speaker 2>who it was, but I didn't ask, like who. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's always weird when you have a text message that

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<v Speaker 2>comes through. You're like, is this a y I got?

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<v Speaker 2>Because it I couldn't read from the text message, it

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<v Speaker 2>was just a six five. It was hey Janna again,

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<v Speaker 2>my phone's recording, so it's I can't do it exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Saw you at Low's with your family and in between

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<v Speaker 2>the crazy checkout and because I mean it was like

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<v Speaker 2>Roman's running everywhere, the kids around the car, I'm trying

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<v Speaker 2>You're going to get another pot of dirt, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>trying to give these plants to the checkout, so it

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<v Speaker 2>was like kind of wild. She's like, in between all

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<v Speaker 2>the craziness of you wrangling your kids and paying for

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<v Speaker 2>the flowers, she goes. It was so so She's like,

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<v Speaker 2>you looked or of this person. I know it's a

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<v Speaker 2>she now. Because we ended up like calling like a

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<v Speaker 2>I was at my lash lady. I was like, we

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<v Speaker 2>need to see who this says. So we start sixty seven.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like, is it a guy or girl?

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<v Speaker 1>So Stall sexty seven.

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<v Speaker 2>Blocks your number. Oh yeah, I mean like I sound

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<v Speaker 2>like a child, but you know it was a woman.

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<v Speaker 1>No.

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't recognize a voice though, and so I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to be rude.

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<v Speaker 1>Right did the woman seeing the message?

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<v Speaker 2>She looked really happy and like content and loves and

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<v Speaker 2>just really happy for you. So it's someone that I

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<v Speaker 2>had some sort of maybe fallout, I don't know, so

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<v Speaker 2>I have no clue. Or maybe it's a mom I

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<v Speaker 2>have no I have no clue, so I just respond

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<v Speaker 2>back and say, oh, thank you. I'd rather chew my

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<v Speaker 2>arm off and go to Low's, but it ended up

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<v Speaker 2>being a great time.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think you're too good for Loose?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't like those places period.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's too good for me.

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<v Speaker 2>No, not at all. No one's helpful. Walking into a

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<v Speaker 2>home depot is the most loneliest feeling ever.

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<v Speaker 1>There's one old lady in the plant department who's really nice.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been enough for for years.

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<v Speaker 2>I prefer Lows to home depot, But yes, I I

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<v Speaker 2>My problem with going to home depot with a male

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<v Speaker 2>in general is you guys, it's like your Disneyland, so

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<v Speaker 2>you're you're stuck in there for hours.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's just it's not true.

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<v Speaker 2>The ceilings go so high and it's just so dark.

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<v Speaker 2>And gloomy and nobody talks or helps, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>I just am looking for this small light.

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<v Speaker 1>Bulb.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyways, so no, I don't like lows. But it was

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<v Speaker 2>fun and we had fun getting flowers. But I did respond,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, it was a nice little short combo.

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<v Speaker 2>But anyways, random, Yeah, but I thought that was sweet,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. Yeah, it's nice to have the I think

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<v Speaker 2>people might have known me in other areas of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, fine questions, Mmmm, which one do I want to answer? Here?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you want to answer? What are the three things

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<v Speaker 2>you have in common? Which, by the way, whenever we

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<v Speaker 2>do couples therapy, it's always really sweet because she always

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<v Speaker 2>she always starts us on something to compliment each other.

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<v Speaker 2>Most times, yeah, to like break the ice and to

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<v Speaker 2>just settle into love.

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<v Speaker 1>She does that to try and get me to smile.

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<v Speaker 2>So we'll start this off by saying, what are three

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<v Speaker 2>things you have in common?

0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:56.080
<v Speaker 1>That was a fanguish. You have the same skin tone.

0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, that's where you're going. Okay, I'm gonna

0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:04.120
<v Speaker 2>say we're adventurous. We both, like Jesus cannot First of all,

0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.199
<v Speaker 2>I'm way taner than you have. Moral of skin soul.

0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:09.839
<v Speaker 2>It's not even to go there. I we we love

0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:12.880
<v Speaker 2>to be outside together. We were very adventurous. We like

0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:21.679
<v Speaker 2>to be active, that's active. We both love touch and affection.

0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.679
<v Speaker 2>And the third thing is is we're both stubborn. Ertie

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:32.520
<v Speaker 2>boom you minus skin tone, Jesus, I dan way better

0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:38.400
<v Speaker 2>than you and pull up. You have a good burn

0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:39.040
<v Speaker 2>if you want me to.

0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:44.280
<v Speaker 1>We like fatness. We like to look afterable sails and

0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:50.000
<v Speaker 1>keep fit. Okay, hope's that better than you? Hops that

0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.040
<v Speaker 1>any waster than news? How is that any was than news?

0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:55.199
<v Speaker 2>Any worse? You just said the same thing that I said.

0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:56.760
<v Speaker 1>You haven't mentioned fatness.

0:12:56.880 --> 0:13:01.600
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I did think I did working out being active.

0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:15.440
<v Speaker 1>We both love traveling together. And mm hmm if actually

0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.160
<v Speaker 1>get loads in common. There's just so much that I

0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:19.520
<v Speaker 1>can't pluck the best want it.

0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:21.920
<v Speaker 2>There was one thing you could change about a relationship,

0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.120
<v Speaker 2>what would it be? Hm?

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:26.720
<v Speaker 1>I think before I speak more.

0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:30.160
<v Speaker 2>Mmmm, that would be nice.

0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so that's not really me changing, it's me changing

0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.200
<v Speaker 1>me to change our relationship essentially.

0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:41.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I mean I would say a relationship, what

0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:52.280
<v Speaker 2>would it be? I would say, I mean, there's something

0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:55.640
<v Speaker 2>we can change our relationship? I well, I don't want

0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:58.480
<v Speaker 2>to go on you.

0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:00.840
<v Speaker 1>No, Yeah, to see it.

0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:02.880
<v Speaker 2>No, because it's not about our relationship, it's about you,

0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:04.160
<v Speaker 2>So just say it.

0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:05.640
<v Speaker 1>Just see it.

0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.599
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's about the same thing that you said.

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>But me thinking before this week. Yeah, to see.

0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:18.280
<v Speaker 2>It, but no, our relationship though that we would not

0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:24.040
<v Speaker 2>look at each other straight negative like the enemy.

0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I agree, see what the actual reality is rather

0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:31.080
<v Speaker 1>than what we think, because your thoughts on not always reality.

0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:35.560
<v Speaker 2>So what I make up might not be true. What

0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.840
<v Speaker 2>you might make up might not be true.

0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Okay. As something that you want to ask each other,

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:44.280
<v Speaker 1>but I'm afraid.

0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:50.200
<v Speaker 2>To no, No, there's nothing that I want to know

0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:51.680
<v Speaker 2>that I'm afraid to ask.

0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.160
<v Speaker 1>There's nothing NO want to know, and there's nothing that

0:14:55.200 --> 0:15:01.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm afraid no. Good question, though, good question.

0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:03.760
<v Speaker 2>Favorite part of the wedding.

0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:07.320
<v Speaker 1>Exchange in vows.

0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.800
<v Speaker 2>I liked the fireworks.

0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:14.800
<v Speaker 1>See that's why I'm the romantic.

0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.800
<v Speaker 2>Are you kidding me? That fireworks are so romantic? It

0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:21.440
<v Speaker 2>was like sealing the deal. Celebration the love.

0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:26.960
<v Speaker 1>A ceiling of awards and thoughts and emotions does feel

0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:27.600
<v Speaker 1>like a big bang.

0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:32.440
<v Speaker 2>In their Okay Relationship headlines, Nicole came In reveals whether

0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.040
<v Speaker 2>she'd ever want to star on a TV show with

0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:37.200
<v Speaker 2>Keith Urban. She says she has no plans to team

0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.320
<v Speaker 2>up with her husband Keith or been on the television screen.

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:40.920
<v Speaker 2>When asked if the pair would ever do a TV

0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:46.960
<v Speaker 2>show together, she said no. She said, we're together in life,

0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:48.920
<v Speaker 2>so we don't need to do our show together. Our

0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:55.440
<v Speaker 2>life is a show. So do you think it's good

0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:56.960
<v Speaker 2>to have separate careers?

0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:00.000
<v Speaker 1>That's a good question. So I'm gonna I want to

0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:05.280
<v Speaker 1>elaborate on something that I heard, right, and it was

0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:10.880
<v Speaker 1>it was about it was about couples. It was about

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:15.800
<v Speaker 1>couples who separate, right, And what basically this psychologist was

0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:19.040
<v Speaker 1>saying is a lot of couples separate because they don't

0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:22.760
<v Speaker 1>have anything that they can grow together career wise. He's like,

0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.680
<v Speaker 1>so if there's a there's a woman or a man

0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:29.200
<v Speaker 1>that goes off to their work and they work on

0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:31.480
<v Speaker 1>a project that is so important to them, and they

0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.240
<v Speaker 1>work with the work colleagues, and they've got this shared

0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.600
<v Speaker 1>vision and this shared grap this shared task that they

0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:40.520
<v Speaker 1>have to grow and nuture, and then the person goes

0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:42.880
<v Speaker 1>home and it's just they go home to the husband

0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:44.680
<v Speaker 1>and the wife and they don't and the husband and

0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:46.920
<v Speaker 1>wife don't have vent and that they have to. They've

0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:50.720
<v Speaker 1>got a shared responsibility to grow and not sure whether

0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:53.360
<v Speaker 1>it's a business or whether it's a whether it's some

0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.480
<v Speaker 1>sort of interest. And they're talking about that's why a

0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:58.960
<v Speaker 1>lot of couples separate, because a lot of people will

0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:04.359
<v Speaker 1>go to work and that's where they are like they

0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:07.240
<v Speaker 1>share ideas, they share how to grow something and really

0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:09.960
<v Speaker 1>make it a success. Whereas they go home and they

0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:11.760
<v Speaker 1>go back to normal life and they don't have vented

0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:15.119
<v Speaker 1>that that Okay, what are we growing? What we where's

0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.000
<v Speaker 1>the end game? What are we stepping towards? You day?

0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:21.359
<v Speaker 1>I think that was interesting on having separate careers. I

0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.680
<v Speaker 1>think it's important to have separate careers, but there's always

0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.959
<v Speaker 1>got to be something that we've got kids, so therefore

0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:32.119
<v Speaker 1>that brings us together, but we also have we have

0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:35.679
<v Speaker 1>a podcast, we have other things that were involved in,

0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.359
<v Speaker 1>Like you take an interest in the the app and

0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.880
<v Speaker 1>the online program, so of other things and other visions

0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:44.160
<v Speaker 1>and ambitions that we want. So I do think it's

0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:47.119
<v Speaker 1>important to have separate careers so you get your own thing,

0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:49.400
<v Speaker 1>but I do think there has to be something when

0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:51.000
<v Speaker 1>you come back to your husband the wife that you

0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:54.520
<v Speaker 1>are both growing together, or else you put all your

0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:59.200
<v Speaker 1>energy and enthusiasm and ambition and ideas into something else

0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:01.760
<v Speaker 1>with other people. Mm hm, that makes sense.

0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I think at the end of the day,

0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.160
<v Speaker 2>it would be fun to do something that would be

0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:11.040
<v Speaker 2>because you've always wanted to dabble in acting stuff. So

0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:15.600
<v Speaker 2>I think it could be fun to do maybe like

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.920
<v Speaker 2>a passion project together one time.

0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:23.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, hey, then the okay, but either thing is

0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:27.600
<v Speaker 1>good to have you donwn and dependent thing that you either,

0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:30.719
<v Speaker 1>Oh for sure, yeah, absolutely.

0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:34.920
<v Speaker 2>That's why. Like when you said even you wanted to act,

0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:38.280
<v Speaker 2>it's it feels like, oh man, Like I can see

0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:41.840
<v Speaker 2>how people maybe don't want their spouses to do, like

0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.960
<v Speaker 2>someone got a lot of heat for not wanting their

0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:49.760
<v Speaker 2>person to do a podcast, but I can also see

0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:54.159
<v Speaker 2>how it feels I don't know the right it's like

0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:55.600
<v Speaker 2>because everyone should be able to do whatever they want,

0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:58.399
<v Speaker 2>like if you want to act, act, And it's also

0:18:58.640 --> 0:18:59.040
<v Speaker 2>I went.

0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.520
<v Speaker 1>To acting school decades before I met.

0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:03.720
<v Speaker 2>You, right, but like once and then you it's not like.

0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:05.520
<v Speaker 1>Something new that I thought jan as an actress, I

0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:07.040
<v Speaker 1>can be. I just want to be and I want

0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:07.560
<v Speaker 1>to be honest, I.

0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:09.640
<v Speaker 2>Know, and if that's really something you want to do.

0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:14.120
<v Speaker 2>And also I don't know, like I can see there's

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 2>a Pe'm like, this is hard because it's and if

0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:18.920
<v Speaker 2>you want to start a podcast, i'd like start a podcast,

0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:21.800
<v Speaker 2>Like I would never tell someone not to but I

0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:24.520
<v Speaker 2>can also understand how that could be too close to

0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:29.800
<v Speaker 2>like the same situation kind of intrusive. Well, it's just good.

0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.920
<v Speaker 2>It kind of just makes you go, who And I

0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:35.680
<v Speaker 2>would never tell someone not to do something if that's

0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.800
<v Speaker 2>really what they wanted to do. But it's also like

0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:41.919
<v Speaker 2>this is my thing, this is your like I'm this,

0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:46.719
<v Speaker 2>you're that. Let's have those two separate identities. Does that

0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:47.320
<v Speaker 2>make sense?

0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.439
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely does make sense. But I'll go back to the

0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:52.800
<v Speaker 1>point that acting is something that I want to do,

0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:56.880
<v Speaker 1>like twenty years ago, fifteen years ago, right years ago.

0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:14.159
<v Speaker 1>But I understand. I totally get it. Therapists, the number

0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:18.240
<v Speaker 1>one thing you should never see in a fight your partner,

0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:19.879
<v Speaker 1>what's yours?

0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:25.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, let's read what this headline says. So the therapist

0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 2>tip of the day was pause before speaking when arguing

0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:29.480
<v Speaker 2>with your partner. The number one thing you should never

0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:32.639
<v Speaker 2>say when fighting with the partner is whatever you have

0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:35.399
<v Speaker 2>the urge to blurt out without taking a beat in

0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:37.320
<v Speaker 2>the heat of an argument, it's not going to come

0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:40.879
<v Speaker 2>out well. Smith explained, So I usually check check myself,

0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:43.719
<v Speaker 2>give myself three seconds, don't fire off when you're in conflict.

0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:45.879
<v Speaker 2>She had it, take a break, even if it's just

0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:48.119
<v Speaker 2>a few seconds, and make a decision about whether it

0:20:48.160 --> 0:20:50.600
<v Speaker 2>should be said or not, and how you're going to

0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:52.960
<v Speaker 2>say it, why it matters. You may feel like you're

0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:57.399
<v Speaker 2>supposed to progress, progress, pass certain conflicts with your partner

0:20:57.400 --> 0:20:58.920
<v Speaker 2>and get the urge to tell them something to prove

0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:01.600
<v Speaker 2>your point, but in reality, many of the fights in

0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:04.879
<v Speaker 2>a long term relationships stay the same over time. Plus

0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:09.320
<v Speaker 2>research shows a strong correlation between excessive criticism and contempt

0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:13.600
<v Speaker 2>toward a partner and eventually separating. So and our therapist

0:21:13.680 --> 0:21:16.920
<v Speaker 2>also just brought this up the other day about taking

0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:22.199
<v Speaker 2>a beat and how important that beat is because we

0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:25.040
<v Speaker 2>can easily, like we said earlier in what we would

0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 2>want to change, is we can easily go to why

0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:29.080
<v Speaker 2>do you say that to me? Does he think X, Y,

0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:32.320
<v Speaker 2>and Z, it's like, make a beat. No, he doesn't,

0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:35.560
<v Speaker 2>He's probably just stressed or something. And then you can

0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:37.679
<v Speaker 2>still voice whatever you want a voice, but normally if

0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:39.439
<v Speaker 2>you take, if you don't take that beat, you're going

0:21:39.520 --> 0:21:42.600
<v Speaker 2>to say something that comes from a place of anger

0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:44.880
<v Speaker 2>and not from a place of love.

0:21:46.440 --> 0:21:51.000
<v Speaker 1>Your thoughts totally agree, totally agree something.

0:21:51.000 --> 0:21:55.880
<v Speaker 2>I shit, you're not the best at it. And I've

0:21:55.880 --> 0:21:57.640
<v Speaker 2>gotten the way and I've gotten.

0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Like my ego kicks something. I need to see what

0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:03.120
<v Speaker 1>I need to say to get the upper hand.

0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:06.240
<v Speaker 2>And you and what is so glorious is and I'm

0:22:06.240 --> 0:22:08.000
<v Speaker 2>not trying to like I will not toot my own horn,

0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:13.359
<v Speaker 2>but I'm gonna in because I've done so much work

0:22:13.400 --> 0:22:17.359
<v Speaker 2>to not react and to like take and I and

0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:20.200
<v Speaker 2>I recogn that in these moments, I'm like, go, Jana,

0:22:20.320 --> 0:22:25.600
<v Speaker 2>like you got this, and you try to push because exactly,

0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:28.480
<v Speaker 2>and he gets annoyed that I don't react, and I'm like,

0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:31.320
<v Speaker 2>I am not going to give you that satisfaction of

0:22:31.359 --> 0:22:34.639
<v Speaker 2>doing what you're doing. And it pisses plan off so

0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:39.720
<v Speaker 2>much that I just go and I don't say anything.

0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:41.960
<v Speaker 1>And I got to the point though that they will.

0:22:43.240 --> 0:22:48.639
<v Speaker 1>I was having a body you were having and I

0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:50.520
<v Speaker 1>commend you were in the gym when I said to you,

0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:53.199
<v Speaker 1>I'm not getting you to the point where you're going

0:22:53.240 --> 0:22:56.439
<v Speaker 1>to tell me a funk off. You're like, no, I

0:22:56.440 --> 0:22:57.040
<v Speaker 1>don't do that.

0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:03.679
<v Speaker 3>I really did that and then walked upstairs and then

0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:07.280
<v Speaker 3>said more shit things, and I'm just like, not, I'm

0:23:07.320 --> 0:23:09.560
<v Speaker 3>not going to give that, Like you know, I don't

0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:12.040
<v Speaker 3>respond to that anymore because it does nothing.

0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:15.760
<v Speaker 2>It does nothing but cause a bigger argument for what.

0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:18.560
<v Speaker 2>And I know you and I know how you like

0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:21.960
<v Speaker 2>poke now to like try to get that. And it's

0:23:23.119 --> 0:23:27.120
<v Speaker 2>but evenge sometimes you know I have enough. But most

0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:30.960
<v Speaker 2>times I feel like I've done really well with not

0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:34.680
<v Speaker 2>and it pisses you off.

0:23:36.800 --> 0:23:38.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you agree, that's that.

0:23:39.200 --> 0:23:41.160
<v Speaker 2>It's just because I've had a lot of therapy around it,

0:23:41.480 --> 0:23:44.080
<v Speaker 2>because I also see that it's not gonna nothing. Nothing

0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:45.840
<v Speaker 2>good is going to come from us both being in

0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:50.000
<v Speaker 2>a heated place ever, you know, let you have your mood.

0:23:50.760 --> 0:23:53.160
<v Speaker 2>And I knew it wasn't like me what I asked

0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:56.639
<v Speaker 2>you that morning. It was it was all you, you know,

0:23:56.680 --> 0:23:59.440
<v Speaker 2>And I have sudden like I can't. I'm not gonna

0:23:59.640 --> 0:24:04.679
<v Speaker 2>like this is not me. He's going through something, yeah,

0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:08.320
<v Speaker 2>and he's going to do his little Tasmanian Devil's spin

0:24:09.400 --> 0:24:11.119
<v Speaker 2>and I'm just gonna stay because I'm like, if I

0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:13.960
<v Speaker 2>join your spin, what does that do for us?

0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:17.560
<v Speaker 1>You can't see a couple of Tasmanian devils.

0:24:17.200 --> 0:24:19.119
<v Speaker 2>Exactly, And that's not that's not cool. No, that's not

0:24:19.200 --> 0:24:19.840
<v Speaker 2>We don't do that.

0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:20.520
<v Speaker 1>No, we don't.

0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:21.960
<v Speaker 2>So I told you I don't.

0:24:22.520 --> 0:24:25.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well done for being there, the composed one in

0:24:25.560 --> 0:24:32.080
<v Speaker 1>those moments therapy. Yeah, cuddles.

0:24:32.320 --> 0:24:34.560
<v Speaker 2>Wait, but are you gonna like take a beat like

0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:36.919
<v Speaker 2>be Therabis took a beat this morning.

0:24:38.600 --> 0:24:40.800
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm not getting into it, but I took a

0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:46.280
<v Speaker 1>beat this morning. Okay, I took a fairly second beat.

0:24:46.480 --> 0:24:48.320
<v Speaker 2>That was my fault. You dealt with something this morning.

0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:52.680
<v Speaker 1>Again, No, there was nothing to do with us. See

0:24:54.160 --> 0:24:59.360
<v Speaker 1>by that take a beat after the incident.

0:25:01.240 --> 0:25:05.040
<v Speaker 2>I think another thing too that our therapist said, nothing

0:25:05.160 --> 0:25:08.320
<v Speaker 2>ever gets resolved in a text message. So when you

0:25:08.359 --> 0:25:10.399
<v Speaker 2>are angry and the person's like, well I'm living, I'm

0:25:10.400 --> 0:25:14.040
<v Speaker 2>gonna go to work or whatever there is, you sending

0:25:14.240 --> 0:25:20.960
<v Speaker 2>a negative or fighting, like, nothing will ever get resolved

0:25:21.600 --> 0:25:25.360
<v Speaker 2>in a text message if you're fighting. Because every time

0:25:25.359 --> 0:25:27.080
<v Speaker 2>our therapists will say, oh did this or that, she

0:25:27.160 --> 0:25:29.240
<v Speaker 2>always goes, she always goes. We'll howd that work out

0:25:29.240 --> 0:25:34.760
<v Speaker 2>for you not whoa, so two things. Take a beat

0:25:34.840 --> 0:25:35.919
<v Speaker 2>and don't send a text.

0:25:36.080 --> 0:25:43.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, breath and you'll be fine. Okay. Cuddles before

0:25:43.960 --> 0:25:48.480
<v Speaker 1>sleep help take stress out of relationships. A study from

0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:52.600
<v Speaker 1>Research US in the US has suggested they might. Specifically,

0:25:53.680 --> 0:25:56.399
<v Speaker 1>it's found than couples who fall asleep well touching be

0:25:56.440 --> 0:25:59.359
<v Speaker 1>it wrapped around each other are just gently grazing limbs,

0:25:59.640 --> 0:26:03.919
<v Speaker 1>maybe buffering themselves against stress and quietly bolstering a sense

0:26:03.960 --> 0:26:08.760
<v Speaker 1>of emotional safety. The researchers recruited one hundred and forty

0:26:08.800 --> 0:26:11.800
<v Speaker 1>three couples. You share the bed and home down on

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:16.160
<v Speaker 1>a key moment, and the nightly routine sleep on set

0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:19.240
<v Speaker 1>the drowsy transitional phase just before we drift off.

0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:22.560
<v Speaker 2>Basically, it says people in relationships might cuddle as they

0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:24.640
<v Speaker 2>fall asleep as a way to deal with stressors potentially

0:26:24.640 --> 0:26:26.720
<v Speaker 2>from both within and outside the relationship. That could help

0:26:26.720 --> 0:26:30.959
<v Speaker 2>improve sleep, and it could also be good for your

0:26:30.960 --> 0:26:32.160
<v Speaker 2>brain and your relationship.

0:26:34.320 --> 0:26:39.760
<v Speaker 1>So thoughts, Wow, Yeah, it's a big one, because if

0:26:39.760 --> 0:26:43.480
<v Speaker 1>you initiate the cut, if you initiate the cuddle. Let's say,

0:26:43.480 --> 0:26:45.240
<v Speaker 1>if I had an argument that day and you're both

0:26:45.320 --> 0:26:50.880
<v Speaker 1>lying in bed and you initiate the cuddle. And there's

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:53.240
<v Speaker 1>a side of that as where you're like, Okay, I'm

0:26:53.280 --> 0:26:54.480
<v Speaker 1>in the wrong and I'm coming to.

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:58.080
<v Speaker 2>Like you tried last night, yeah, and I'm like.

0:26:58.119 --> 0:26:59.160
<v Speaker 1>Can you push my hand away?

0:26:59.200 --> 0:27:02.000
<v Speaker 2>No, because you were like your hand was like on

0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:04.400
<v Speaker 2>top of my chest and I couldn't breathe just take it.

0:27:05.080 --> 0:27:08.280
<v Speaker 2>It's too heavy. But also like I'm I'm the person

0:27:08.320 --> 0:27:11.160
<v Speaker 2>too where you can't you can't throw darts all day

0:27:11.200 --> 0:27:13.720
<v Speaker 2>and then expect me to be like, let's cuddle. You

0:27:13.760 --> 0:27:16.920
<v Speaker 2>know it was that, but I always know you're there,

0:27:16.960 --> 0:27:19.199
<v Speaker 2>like we're good, you know what I mean. We just

0:27:19.440 --> 0:27:23.640
<v Speaker 2>might have some days that's typical, that's normal. But I'm

0:27:23.640 --> 0:27:28.280
<v Speaker 2>also not gonna have Yeah, but you know, you know

0:27:28.400 --> 0:27:31.199
<v Speaker 2>me now to know I'm not. It takes me a

0:27:31.240 --> 0:27:34.800
<v Speaker 2>second to soften up a bit again, just because I've

0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:37.840
<v Speaker 2>I have to boulder up to it at times.

0:27:38.119 --> 0:27:38.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:27:39.320 --> 0:27:42.320
<v Speaker 2>So, but I I love the like I don't like

0:27:42.359 --> 0:27:46.119
<v Speaker 2>going to bed weird, So I'm good with I like

0:27:46.160 --> 0:27:48.680
<v Speaker 2>a little foot, like a my foot touching your leg.

0:27:52.080 --> 0:27:53.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, most nights you fall asleep on my chest.

0:27:55.160 --> 0:27:58.680
<v Speaker 2>I'd say fifty percent we're watching TV. Yeah, when we're

0:27:58.680 --> 0:28:01.199
<v Speaker 2>watching TV, I'll fall asleep on your chest and then

0:28:01.240 --> 0:28:02.240
<v Speaker 2>you'll snore and then I'll turn over.

0:28:02.440 --> 0:28:05.680
<v Speaker 1>Last night night before because we watched laden thing which

0:28:05.640 --> 0:28:06.600
<v Speaker 1>she was good.

0:28:07.160 --> 0:28:07.400
<v Speaker 2>Wow.

0:28:07.640 --> 0:28:10.200
<v Speaker 1>So they're asking here if we should try this cuddling

0:28:10.200 --> 0:28:13.560
<v Speaker 1>and touching for a week. If it helps, and then

0:28:14.000 --> 0:28:18.359
<v Speaker 1>let's do it. Yeah yes, and like cave your chest

0:28:18.359 --> 0:28:19.320
<v Speaker 1>then when I hug you.

0:28:22.760 --> 0:28:25.600
<v Speaker 2>Let's do it before I go in full menopause. I'm

0:28:25.600 --> 0:28:30.320
<v Speaker 2>gonna be sweating soon. Here we go, All right, guys

0:28:30.400 --> 0:28:31.520
<v Speaker 2>chat next week. Hi,