Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast
Speaker 1: and The Queen's Back. Hi yay.
Speaker 2: I love how in the rundown it says was the
Speaker 2: laundry done? The producers of About Me doubt you was it?
Speaker 1: Was it not? Was it ending in the launder room?
Speaker 2: I mean the kids bags were still all packed. You know,
Speaker 2: it's fine, No, it's it's fine. It was. It was not.
Speaker 2: It was not a messy house to go to home too.
Speaker 2: And I didn't know it wasn't. No, it is fine, Han,
Speaker 2: it goes alan, But I like I knew, you know
Speaker 2: that I would come home to that bag, like the
Speaker 2: kids bags still closing their bags and not put away
Speaker 2: like I knew.
Speaker 1: Like, and I'm like, okay, what kind of funny thing
Speaker 1: about that?
Speaker 2: You asked Sarah to do it and she didn't do it?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no. The kid's bags that was put
Speaker 1: in the room was actually full of clothes that I
Speaker 1: had washed while we were in Lexington. Okay, So can
Speaker 1: I get some sort.
Speaker 2: Of no, because that airbnb smelled like a mothball, and
Speaker 2: so all of those clothes when I opened the thing up,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I first of all, they weren't like folded
Speaker 2: and put in the bag, so they were just all wrinkly.
Speaker 2: And then when I smelt it, He's like those are clean.
Speaker 2: I'm like, it smells like a giant mothball. I was like,
Speaker 2: I can't put these into the dresser.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was pretty busy baby when I go back,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't nice. Guess anyway, I've got a question
Speaker 1: for you. So I was talking to one of my
Speaker 1: clients last night about superpowers. Okay, and there's a thing
Speaker 1: that discuss quite a lot with clients because they each
Speaker 1: have the superpower which is their main strength in goal scoring.
Speaker 1: And I come off the call and I was like,
Speaker 1: I wonder what Jana's superpower would be if she could
Speaker 1: have one. If I could no restrictions, you could have
Speaker 1: a super power, what would it be be.
Speaker 2: In two places at once? I think that's pretty much
Speaker 2: every mom's superpower. Maybe, or maybe I don't. I don't
Speaker 2: say ever. Maybe some is like disappear, I don't know,
Speaker 2: but like for me, it's to be in two places
Speaker 2: at once. Yeah, what about hers?
Speaker 1: But to be to see into your mind and your thoughts,
Speaker 1: not in a stock creepy way.
Speaker 2: But I'm such an open book, though, I could see
Speaker 2: me having that with you because you're very you you
Speaker 2: internalize everything I've I've at a place where I just
Speaker 2: say whatever I'm thinking. There's nothing that would be in
Speaker 2: my mind that you wouldn't know about, Like you know
Speaker 2: when I'm pissed, you know when I'm frustrated, you know
Speaker 2: when I'm sad. You know what I'm and you don't. Honestly,
Speaker 2: you'd be exhausting if you were in my mind. The
Speaker 2: amount of things that I think about, like the amount
Speaker 2: that we moms have to do, that we have to
Speaker 2: think about because our brains actually do think more than men.
Speaker 2: That's it's a scientific, proven fact, you know it seriously,
Speaker 2: is like we can google it right now. It is
Speaker 2: a scientific fact that women have more thoughts going on.
Speaker 2: I sent you that thing too on Instagram. It said
Speaker 2: I'm going to butcher it. Actually on my phone's recording.
Speaker 2: It was basically like it was funny the amount of time.
Speaker 2: I mean, do you have your phone?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Hold up?
Speaker 2: It was like something about what we'll say it. But
Speaker 2: that to the point is we have a lot on
Speaker 2: our mind. So and there are times.
Speaker 1: Where statistics show that women spend more time wondering what
Speaker 1: men are thinking than men spend thinking.
Speaker 2: Exactly like that is the most accurate statistic ever. I stop,
Speaker 2: it's a statistic.
Speaker 1: Ok yeah, there's a better truth than that.
Speaker 2: Do you want to change your superpower? Because I think.
Speaker 1: My superpower would be.
Speaker 2: Because again, don't you agree that I kind of say.
Speaker 1: That would be to master simplicity and make things simple.
Speaker 1: I think that as a superpower. As I'm building this up,
Speaker 1: I'm recognizing and reading until the business people maximizing and
Speaker 1: monetizing simplicity as a superpower that I will achieve at
Speaker 1: some point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you gotta like this is it's more fun
Speaker 2: to have an actual superpower, Like that's something you can do.
Speaker 2: Superpower is like being invisible. Ah, fly a fly on
Speaker 2: the wall. Why do you want to know things?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: Trust me?
Speaker 1: Why I said I would want to be able to fly?
Speaker 3: Fly?
Speaker 2: Okay? I thought you meant like a fly on the wall.
Speaker 1: No, be able to fly? Like if you're annoying me,
Speaker 1: I can jump out the window and just fly.
Speaker 2: Why does that lead back to me I'm annoying you?
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't feel like you're in the car drive
Speaker 1: I can just go and fly about everywhere.
Speaker 2: Listen. I used to my superpower used to be or
Speaker 2: used to I used to want to be a fly
Speaker 2: on the wall. And this last week has taught me
Speaker 2: that I don't want to be anywhere near things because
Speaker 2: I know too much information about certain things right now
Speaker 2: that I wish I didn't know. And I don't want
Speaker 2: to be in a fly in the wall because it
Speaker 2: is exhausting and it has been challenging to say the least.
Speaker 2: So that is a superpower that I have thrown away.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know.
Speaker 1: Okay, well you're no longer to fly in the wall.
Speaker 1: We can be something else.
Speaker 2: So I've got a request a two places in once Boom.
Speaker 1: So I've seen as as as the app, Niel's closer
Speaker 1: and things are ramping up. Finally, I've been looking into
Speaker 1: social media stuff on like funny posts that I can
Speaker 1: help the market it. Although I'm going to have someone
Speaker 1: that does this, but those are really it's a really
Speaker 1: funny one and I wondered if you would actually take
Speaker 1: part in it.
Speaker 2: I sent it if I would take part in an
Speaker 2: Instagram reil. Do you know how many times I've been begging
Speaker 2: you to a bib. You need to start like posting things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but this one is funny. But you're on the
Speaker 1: receiving end of something.
Speaker 2: I mean, so this guy is embarrassed myself.
Speaker 1: Enough on, but this guy is. This guy is dreaming, right,
Speaker 1: He's dreaming and the ball is coming. He's in the
Speaker 1: eighteen yard box right. The ball's coming high over the
Speaker 1: top of the defender and it comes towards him and
Speaker 1: he just needs to volley it, and the goal like
Speaker 1: the stadium's packed. And then when he hits, when he
Speaker 1: volleys the ball, it jumps straight to he's actually in
Speaker 1: bed with he's misses and he boots, half, don't let
Speaker 1: me show you now. And I sent it to you
Speaker 1: so you can. You can add content you're actually take it.
Speaker 1: I actually but you Yeah, well I don't want to
Speaker 1: be booted softly, like like it's a funny post.
Speaker 2: Okay, as long as it's not to the face.
Speaker 1: No, it's your's your also, But you're lying. We're almost
Speaker 1: like in a spooning possession. And I'm dreaming and I just.
Speaker 2: Go and I'm like, oh, okay, that's funny. I'll do it.
Speaker 2: Stay tuned, Stay tuned. Okay, Hey into a few fan
Speaker 2: questions because I think it's fun. Oh, I have a question,
Speaker 2: just back to host chat. Has it been easier hard
Speaker 2: to get back into the normal groove of things since May?
Speaker 2: Being back?
Speaker 1: It's been easy?
Speaker 2: Why are you doing that?
Speaker 1: Look, well we've only been We've only been back one
Speaker 1: working day, haven't we Yeah. The weekend we came back.
Speaker 1: We drove back and we had a pool straight.
Speaker 2: To a pool party. And You're like, do do I
Speaker 2: have to go? And I said, yes, you do. And
Speaker 2: you met a mate.
Speaker 1: You met him make listen casting a net for some mates.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so funny. How guys work. I'm like, did you
Speaker 2: guys get each other's numbers?
Speaker 1: No, Big said, they was shait at golf and I'm
Speaker 1: shitty golf. So we can friends boom and be shaited
Speaker 1: golf together. But he wants to play and I want
Speaker 1: to play.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's cute. Yes, but yes, we got back and
Speaker 2: then Sunday we went to church.
Speaker 1: Monday, Yeah, the be entry was we had a good weekend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 1: We've planted stuff the planet flowers.
Speaker 2: I got a random text message. It was really funny
Speaker 2: and I don't know who actually it is, but I
Speaker 2: did respond back because I didn't I wanted to know
Speaker 2: who it was, but I didn't ask, like who. You know,
Speaker 2: it's always weird when you have a text message that
Speaker 2: comes through. You're like, is this a y I got?
Speaker 2: Because it I couldn't read from the text message, it
Speaker 2: was just a six five. It was hey Janna again,
Speaker 2: my phone's recording, so it's I can't do it exactly.
Speaker 2: Saw you at Low's with your family and in between
Speaker 2: the crazy checkout and because I mean it was like
Speaker 2: Roman's running everywhere, the kids around the car, I'm trying
Speaker 2: You're going to get another pot of dirt, and I'm
Speaker 2: trying to give these plants to the checkout, so it
Speaker 2: was like kind of wild. She's like, in between all
Speaker 2: the craziness of you wrangling your kids and paying for
Speaker 2: the flowers, she goes. It was so so She's like,
Speaker 2: you looked or of this person. I know it's a
Speaker 2: she now. Because we ended up like calling like a
Speaker 2: I was at my lash lady. I was like, we
Speaker 2: need to see who this says. So we start sixty seven.
Speaker 2: I feel like, is it a guy or girl?
Speaker 1: So Stall sexty seven.
Speaker 2: Blocks your number. Oh yeah, I mean like I sound
Speaker 2: like a child, but you know it was a woman.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I couldn't recognize a voice though, and so I don't
Speaker 2: want to be rude.
Speaker 1: Right did the woman seeing the message?
Speaker 2: She looked really happy and like content and loves and
Speaker 2: just really happy for you. So it's someone that I
Speaker 2: had some sort of maybe fallout, I don't know, so
Speaker 2: I have no clue. Or maybe it's a mom I
Speaker 2: have no I have no clue, so I just respond
Speaker 2: back and say, oh, thank you. I'd rather chew my
Speaker 2: arm off and go to Low's, but it ended up
Speaker 2: being a great time.
Speaker 1: Do you think you're too good for Loose?
Speaker 2: I don't like those places period.
Speaker 1: I think it's too good for me.
Speaker 2: No, not at all. No one's helpful. Walking into a
Speaker 2: home depot is the most loneliest feeling ever.
Speaker 1: There's one old lady in the plant department who's really nice.
Speaker 1: It's been enough for for years.
Speaker 2: I prefer Lows to home depot, But yes, I I
Speaker 2: My problem with going to home depot with a male
Speaker 2: in general is you guys, it's like your Disneyland, so
Speaker 2: you're you're stuck in there for hours.
Speaker 1: And it's just it's not true.
Speaker 2: The ceilings go so high and it's just so dark.
Speaker 2: And gloomy and nobody talks or helps, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I just am looking for this small light.
Speaker 1: Bulb.
Speaker 2: Anyways, so no, I don't like lows. But it was
Speaker 2: fun and we had fun getting flowers. But I did respond,
Speaker 2: and you know, it was a nice little short combo.
Speaker 2: But anyways, random, Yeah, but I thought that was sweet,
Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, it's nice to have the I think
Speaker 2: people might have known me in other areas of my life.
Speaker 1: Okay, fine questions, Mmmm, which one do I want to answer? Here?
Speaker 2: Do you want to answer? What are the three things
Speaker 2: you have in common? Which, by the way, whenever we
Speaker 2: do couples therapy, it's always really sweet because she always
Speaker 2: she always starts us on something to compliment each other.
Speaker 2: Most times, yeah, to like break the ice and to
Speaker 2: just settle into love.
Speaker 1: She does that to try and get me to smile.
Speaker 2: So we'll start this off by saying, what are three
Speaker 2: things you have in common?
Speaker 1: That was a fanguish. You have the same skin tone.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's where you're going. Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: say we're adventurous. We both, like Jesus cannot First of all,
Speaker 2: I'm way taner than you have. Moral of skin soul.
Speaker 2: It's not even to go there. I we we love
Speaker 2: to be outside together. We were very adventurous. We like
Speaker 2: to be active, that's active. We both love touch and affection.
Speaker 2: And the third thing is is we're both stubborn. Ertie
Speaker 2: boom you minus skin tone, Jesus, I dan way better
Speaker 2: than you and pull up. You have a good burn
Speaker 2: if you want me to.
Speaker 1: We like fatness. We like to look afterable sails and
Speaker 1: keep fit. Okay, hope's that better than you? Hops that
Speaker 1: any waster than news? How is that any was than news?
Speaker 2: Any worse? You just said the same thing that I said.
Speaker 1: You haven't mentioned fatness.
Speaker 2: Yes, I did think I did working out being active.
Speaker 1: We both love traveling together. And mm hmm if actually
Speaker 1: get loads in common. There's just so much that I
Speaker 1: can't pluck the best want it.
Speaker 2: There was one thing you could change about a relationship,
Speaker 2: what would it be? Hm?
Speaker 1: I think before I speak more.
Speaker 2: Mmmm, that would be nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's not really me changing, it's me changing
Speaker 1: me to change our relationship essentially.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean I would say a relationship, what
Speaker 2: would it be? I would say, I mean, there's something
Speaker 2: we can change our relationship? I well, I don't want
Speaker 2: to go on you.
Speaker 1: No, Yeah, to see it.
Speaker 2: No, because it's not about our relationship, it's about you,
Speaker 2: So just say it.
Speaker 1: Just see it.
Speaker 2: Well, it's about the same thing that you said.
Speaker 1: But me thinking before this week. Yeah, to see.
Speaker 2: It, but no, our relationship though that we would not
Speaker 2: look at each other straight negative like the enemy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, see what the actual reality is rather
Speaker 1: than what we think, because your thoughts on not always reality.
Speaker 2: So what I make up might not be true. What
Speaker 2: you might make up might not be true.
Speaker 1: Okay. As something that you want to ask each other,
Speaker 1: but I'm afraid.
Speaker 2: To no, No, there's nothing that I want to know
Speaker 2: that I'm afraid to ask.
Speaker 1: There's nothing NO want to know, and there's nothing that
Speaker 1: I'm afraid no. Good question, though, good question.
Speaker 2: Favorite part of the wedding.
Speaker 1: Exchange in vows.
Speaker 2: I liked the fireworks.
Speaker 1: See that's why I'm the romantic.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? That fireworks are so romantic? It
Speaker 2: was like sealing the deal. Celebration the love.
Speaker 1: A ceiling of awards and thoughts and emotions does feel
Speaker 1: like a big bang.
Speaker 2: In their Okay Relationship headlines, Nicole came In reveals whether
Speaker 2: she'd ever want to star on a TV show with
Speaker 2: Keith Urban. She says she has no plans to team
Speaker 2: up with her husband Keith or been on the television screen.
Speaker 2: When asked if the pair would ever do a TV
Speaker 2: show together, she said no. She said, we're together in life,
Speaker 2: so we don't need to do our show together. Our
Speaker 2: life is a show. So do you think it's good
Speaker 2: to have separate careers?
Speaker 1: That's a good question. So I'm gonna I want to
Speaker 1: elaborate on something that I heard, right, and it was
Speaker 1: it was about it was about couples. It was about
Speaker 1: couples who separate, right, And what basically this psychologist was
Speaker 1: saying is a lot of couples separate because they don't
Speaker 1: have anything that they can grow together career wise. He's like,
Speaker 1: so if there's a there's a woman or a man
Speaker 1: that goes off to their work and they work on
Speaker 1: a project that is so important to them, and they
Speaker 1: work with the work colleagues, and they've got this shared
Speaker 1: vision and this shared grap this shared task that they
Speaker 1: have to grow and nuture, and then the person goes
Speaker 1: home and it's just they go home to the husband
Speaker 1: and the wife and they don't and the husband and
Speaker 1: wife don't have vent and that they have to. They've
Speaker 1: got a shared responsibility to grow and not sure whether
Speaker 1: it's a business or whether it's a whether it's some
Speaker 1: sort of interest. And they're talking about that's why a
Speaker 1: lot of couples separate, because a lot of people will
Speaker 1: go to work and that's where they are like they
Speaker 1: share ideas, they share how to grow something and really
Speaker 1: make it a success. Whereas they go home and they
Speaker 1: go back to normal life and they don't have vented
Speaker 1: that that Okay, what are we growing? What we where's
Speaker 1: the end game? What are we stepping towards? You day?
Speaker 1: I think that was interesting on having separate careers. I
Speaker 1: think it's important to have separate careers, but there's always
Speaker 1: got to be something that we've got kids, so therefore
Speaker 1: that brings us together, but we also have we have
Speaker 1: a podcast, we have other things that were involved in,
Speaker 1: Like you take an interest in the the app and
Speaker 1: the online program, so of other things and other visions
Speaker 1: and ambitions that we want. So I do think it's
Speaker 1: important to have separate careers so you get your own thing,
Speaker 1: but I do think there has to be something when
Speaker 1: you come back to your husband the wife that you
Speaker 1: are both growing together, or else you put all your
Speaker 1: energy and enthusiasm and ambition and ideas into something else
Speaker 1: with other people. Mm hm, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: it would be fun to do something that would be
Speaker 2: because you've always wanted to dabble in acting stuff. So
Speaker 2: I think it could be fun to do maybe like
Speaker 2: a passion project together one time.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, hey, then the okay, but either thing is
Speaker 1: good to have you donwn and dependent thing that you either,
Speaker 1: Oh for sure, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2: That's why. Like when you said even you wanted to act,
Speaker 2: it's it feels like, oh man, Like I can see
Speaker 2: how people maybe don't want their spouses to do, like
Speaker 2: someone got a lot of heat for not wanting their
Speaker 2: person to do a podcast, but I can also see
Speaker 2: how it feels I don't know the right it's like
Speaker 2: because everyone should be able to do whatever they want,
Speaker 2: like if you want to act, act, And it's also
Speaker 2: I went.
Speaker 1: To acting school decades before I met.
Speaker 2: You, right, but like once and then you it's not like.
Speaker 1: Something new that I thought jan as an actress, I
Speaker 1: can be. I just want to be and I want
Speaker 1: to be honest, I.
Speaker 2: Know, and if that's really something you want to do.
Speaker 2: And also I don't know, like I can see there's
Speaker 2: a Pe'm like, this is hard because it's and if
Speaker 2: you want to start a podcast, i'd like start a podcast,
Speaker 2: Like I would never tell someone not to but I
Speaker 2: can also understand how that could be too close to
Speaker 2: like the same situation kind of intrusive. Well, it's just good.
Speaker 2: It kind of just makes you go, who And I
Speaker 2: would never tell someone not to do something if that's
Speaker 2: really what they wanted to do. But it's also like
Speaker 2: this is my thing, this is your like I'm this,
Speaker 2: you're that. Let's have those two separate identities. Does that
Speaker 2: make sense?
Speaker 1: Absolutely does make sense. But I'll go back to the
Speaker 1: point that acting is something that I want to do,
Speaker 1: like twenty years ago, fifteen years ago, right years ago.
Speaker 1: But I understand. I totally get it. Therapists, the number
Speaker 1: one thing you should never see in a fight your partner,
Speaker 1: what's yours?
Speaker 2: Well, let's read what this headline says. So the therapist
Speaker 2: tip of the day was pause before speaking when arguing
Speaker 2: with your partner. The number one thing you should never
Speaker 2: say when fighting with the partner is whatever you have
Speaker 2: the urge to blurt out without taking a beat in
Speaker 2: the heat of an argument, it's not going to come
Speaker 2: out well. Smith explained, So I usually check check myself,
Speaker 2: give myself three seconds, don't fire off when you're in conflict.
Speaker 2: She had it, take a break, even if it's just
Speaker 2: a few seconds, and make a decision about whether it
Speaker 2: should be said or not, and how you're going to
Speaker 2: say it, why it matters. You may feel like you're
Speaker 2: supposed to progress, progress, pass certain conflicts with your partner
Speaker 2: and get the urge to tell them something to prove
Speaker 2: your point, but in reality, many of the fights in
Speaker 2: a long term relationships stay the same over time. Plus
Speaker 2: research shows a strong correlation between excessive criticism and contempt
Speaker 2: toward a partner and eventually separating. So and our therapist
Speaker 2: also just brought this up the other day about taking
Speaker 2: a beat and how important that beat is because we
Speaker 2: can easily, like we said earlier in what we would
Speaker 2: want to change, is we can easily go to why
Speaker 2: do you say that to me? Does he think X, Y,
Speaker 2: and Z, it's like, make a beat. No, he doesn't,
Speaker 2: He's probably just stressed or something. And then you can
Speaker 2: still voice whatever you want a voice, but normally if
Speaker 2: you take, if you don't take that beat, you're going
Speaker 2: to say something that comes from a place of anger
Speaker 2: and not from a place of love.
Speaker 1: Your thoughts totally agree, totally agree something.
Speaker 2: I shit, you're not the best at it. And I've
Speaker 2: gotten the way and I've gotten.
Speaker 1: Like my ego kicks something. I need to see what
Speaker 1: I need to say to get the upper hand.
Speaker 2: And you and what is so glorious is and I'm
Speaker 2: not trying to like I will not toot my own horn,
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna in because I've done so much work
Speaker 2: to not react and to like take and I and
Speaker 2: I recogn that in these moments, I'm like, go, Jana,
Speaker 2: like you got this, and you try to push because exactly,
Speaker 2: and he gets annoyed that I don't react, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I am not going to give you that satisfaction of
Speaker 2: doing what you're doing. And it pisses plan off so
Speaker 2: much that I just go and I don't say anything.
Speaker 1: And I got to the point though that they will.
Speaker 1: I was having a body you were having and I
Speaker 1: commend you were in the gym when I said to you,
Speaker 1: I'm not getting you to the point where you're going
Speaker 1: to tell me a funk off. You're like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't do that.
Speaker 3: I really did that and then walked upstairs and then
Speaker 3: said more shit things, and I'm just like, not, I'm
Speaker 3: not going to give that, Like you know, I don't
Speaker 3: respond to that anymore because it does nothing.
Speaker 2: It does nothing but cause a bigger argument for what.
Speaker 2: And I know you and I know how you like
Speaker 2: poke now to like try to get that. And it's
Speaker 2: but evenge sometimes you know I have enough. But most
Speaker 2: times I feel like I've done really well with not
Speaker 2: and it pisses you off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you agree, that's that.
Speaker 2: It's just because I've had a lot of therapy around it,
Speaker 2: because I also see that it's not gonna nothing. Nothing
Speaker 2: good is going to come from us both being in
Speaker 2: a heated place ever, you know, let you have your mood.
Speaker 2: And I knew it wasn't like me what I asked
Speaker 2: you that morning. It was it was all you, you know,
Speaker 2: And I have sudden like I can't. I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: like this is not me. He's going through something, yeah,
Speaker 2: and he's going to do his little Tasmanian Devil's spin
Speaker 2: and I'm just gonna stay because I'm like, if I
Speaker 2: join your spin, what does that do for us?
Speaker 1: You can't see a couple of Tasmanian devils.
Speaker 2: Exactly, And that's not that's not cool. No, that's not
Speaker 2: We don't do that.
Speaker 1: No, we don't.
Speaker 2: So I told you I don't.
Speaker 1: Okay, well done for being there, the composed one in
Speaker 1: those moments therapy. Yeah, cuddles.
Speaker 2: Wait, but are you gonna like take a beat like
Speaker 2: be Therabis took a beat this morning.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not getting into it, but I took a
Speaker 1: beat this morning. Okay, I took a fairly second beat.
Speaker 2: That was my fault. You dealt with something this morning.
Speaker 1: Again, No, there was nothing to do with us. See
Speaker 1: by that take a beat after the incident.
Speaker 2: I think another thing too that our therapist said, nothing
Speaker 2: ever gets resolved in a text message. So when you
Speaker 2: are angry and the person's like, well I'm living, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna go to work or whatever there is, you sending
Speaker 2: a negative or fighting, like, nothing will ever get resolved
Speaker 2: in a text message if you're fighting. Because every time
Speaker 2: our therapists will say, oh did this or that, she
Speaker 2: always goes, she always goes. We'll howd that work out
Speaker 2: for you not whoa, so two things. Take a beat
Speaker 2: and don't send a text.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, breath and you'll be fine. Okay. Cuddles before
Speaker 1: sleep help take stress out of relationships. A study from
Speaker 1: Research US in the US has suggested they might. Specifically,
Speaker 1: it's found than couples who fall asleep well touching be
Speaker 1: it wrapped around each other are just gently grazing limbs,
Speaker 1: maybe buffering themselves against stress and quietly bolstering a sense
Speaker 1: of emotional safety. The researchers recruited one hundred and forty
Speaker 1: three couples. You share the bed and home down on
Speaker 1: a key moment, and the nightly routine sleep on set
Speaker 1: the drowsy transitional phase just before we drift off.
Speaker 2: Basically, it says people in relationships might cuddle as they
Speaker 2: fall asleep as a way to deal with stressors potentially
Speaker 2: from both within and outside the relationship. That could help
Speaker 2: improve sleep, and it could also be good for your
Speaker 2: brain and your relationship.
Speaker 1: So thoughts, Wow, Yeah, it's a big one, because if
Speaker 1: you initiate the cut, if you initiate the cuddle. Let's say,
Speaker 1: if I had an argument that day and you're both
Speaker 1: lying in bed and you initiate the cuddle. And there's
Speaker 1: a side of that as where you're like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: in the wrong and I'm coming to.
Speaker 2: Like you tried last night, yeah, and I'm like.
Speaker 1: Can you push my hand away?
Speaker 2: No, because you were like your hand was like on
Speaker 2: top of my chest and I couldn't breathe just take it.
Speaker 2: It's too heavy. But also like I'm I'm the person
Speaker 2: too where you can't you can't throw darts all day
Speaker 2: and then expect me to be like, let's cuddle. You
Speaker 2: know it was that, but I always know you're there,
Speaker 2: like we're good, you know what I mean. We just
Speaker 2: might have some days that's typical, that's normal. But I'm
Speaker 2: also not gonna have Yeah, but you know, you know
Speaker 2: me now to know I'm not. It takes me a
Speaker 2: second to soften up a bit again, just because I've
Speaker 2: I have to boulder up to it at times.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, but I I love the like I don't like
Speaker 2: going to bed weird, So I'm good with I like
Speaker 2: a little foot, like a my foot touching your leg.
Speaker 1: Well, most nights you fall asleep on my chest.
Speaker 2: I'd say fifty percent we're watching TV. Yeah, when we're
Speaker 2: watching TV, I'll fall asleep on your chest and then
Speaker 2: you'll snore and then I'll turn over.
Speaker 1: Last night night before because we watched laden thing which
Speaker 1: she was good.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: So they're asking here if we should try this cuddling
Speaker 1: and touching for a week. If it helps, and then
Speaker 1: let's do it. Yeah yes, and like cave your chest
Speaker 1: then when I hug you.
Speaker 2: Let's do it before I go in full menopause. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be sweating soon. Here we go, All right, guys
Speaker 2: chat next week. Hi,