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Speaker 1: This is the fread Show. Dame is taking over Las

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Speaker 1: Vegas this January for his seven night President Adobey Live

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Speaker 1: at Park MGM. And we've got a trip for two

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Speaker 1: to the January twenty fifth show to night Hotel State

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Speaker 1: at Park MGM January twenty fourth through the twenty sixth

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Speaker 1: and round trip airfare. Text dusk to three seven three

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Speaker 1: three seven now for a chance to win. A confirmation

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Speaker 1: text will be sent. Standard message of data rates may apply.

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Speaker 1: All thanks to Live Nation. It's the Fred Show. Good

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Speaker 1: Morning one O three five Kiss FM in Chicago's number

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Speaker 1: one E music station, are final stop the Thank You

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Speaker 1: thirteen tour Friday, West Town. We're gonna be a Dell

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Speaker 1: Rooster everyone. Dell Rooster is the name of a place.

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Speaker 1: It's eighteen twenty five West Chicago Avenue, and that is

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Speaker 1: in Westtown?

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Speaker 2: Is it?

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Speaker 1: Six seven? I said? Six seven? I said six seven.

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Speaker 1: One has to be more texting, That's what I said.

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Speaker 1: Stop correcting me when I got it right the first time. Um, well, no,

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Speaker 1: I mean correct I say stuff that's wrong all the time.

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Speaker 1: Correct me. But then when I got it right, then

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Speaker 1: don't waste your fingers, you know, don't don't waste your fingers,

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Speaker 1: but maybe come to Del Rooster in West Tound on Friday.

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Speaker 1: Explain to me what it is and that'll be great,

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Speaker 1: and give me a big hug too, because you know

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Speaker 1: I love those mixtail. Yeah, they have oxtail there, which

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Speaker 1: is what kind of Michelin Star restaurants did you shooes?

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Speaker 2: Oh it is amazing. I can't wait. They have empanadas.

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Speaker 1: Oh love It's like a Cuban inspired sort of place, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like it a little diversity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they have a bar, so come get a cocktail.

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Speaker 1: No, it's lovely, it's lovely. It's going to be lovely.

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Speaker 1: On Friday morning, the final stop and the Thank You

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Speaker 1: thirteen tour for this round, is it Del Rooster in Westown.

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Speaker 1: Please don't tell me on Saturday that you didn't know

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Speaker 1: that we were doing it, because we're doing it and

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Speaker 1: we're running promos about it and I'm saying it now

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Speaker 1: and there's graphics and things that have been made, you

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Speaker 1: know that sort of thing. So we would love to

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Speaker 1: see you on Friday. The Tangent lives sold out. That's

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Speaker 1: the week after. Boy, we really are on tour. We're

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Speaker 1: hitting all quadrants sort of place we are, and then

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Speaker 1: after that it's our one on three five Kiss FM

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Speaker 1: jingle Ball presented by Capital. Yeah, so if you would like,

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Speaker 1: just go ahead and buy a ticket, because again I've

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Speaker 1: been telling you guys. If the sooner you buy your

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Speaker 1: ticket that I think you're gonna buy anyway, then sooner

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Speaker 1: I don't have to hustle for tickets anymore.

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Speaker 3: Audrey Hobart and Gracie Abrams singing that's true together.

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Speaker 1: I did see that.

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Speaker 3: See Audrey, if you're not familiar with her, wrote a

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Speaker 3: lot of Gracy songs. So if you like Gracie, come

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Speaker 3: to jingle Ball and she's about to pop off.

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Speaker 1: It is true, though, I will say it is true

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Speaker 1: that a lot of artists that show up at jingle Ball,

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Speaker 1: like the next year or the year after, wind up

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Speaker 1: being you know, wildly famous. Benson Boone like to play

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Speaker 1: jingle Ball. Hey, what's up Benson Boone? Now, of course

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Speaker 1: guy's selling out arenas and stuff. So for whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: six bucks nine bucks an artist comes. See Teddy Swims, Nelly, Jesse,

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Speaker 1: Murph Raven, Rene Shinedown, Zara Larston, Audrey Hobart, Jackson, Wang,

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Speaker 1: Renee Rap and more. One O three five kiss FM

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Speaker 1: dot com to get your tickets, just telling people for

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Speaker 1: the next twenty years, I went to Juilliard only to

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Speaker 1: be discovered and uncovered and revealed as a liar.

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Speaker 4: Was he's looking at Juliard was like, who's jue website?

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Speaker 1: The leak yard Julie. No, it did Julie, Julie's yard,

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Speaker 1: Julie Yard. Fred's show is on its two sas over

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Speaker 1: twenty eighth, the Friend shows on. Hi, Kaitlin, Hi, Jason Brahan, Hi,

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Speaker 1: Paulina Cheeky's back later in the week. Bellah means here

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Speaker 1: on the phone in the text eight five five five

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Speaker 1: nine one one o three five tiebreaker Shelby Shelley versus

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Speaker 1: Jade eight hundred and fifty bucks is the prize in

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Speaker 1: the showdown and we're commercial free for the next forty

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Speaker 1: five minutes. Hey Sidney, Hi Sydney, thank you for explaining

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Speaker 1: to us, which six seven means? What is there?

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Speaker 5: Okay?

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Speaker 6: Our entry school And I would say about ninety percent

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Speaker 6: of my kids will tell me that they don't know

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Speaker 6: what it means. But I think the.

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Speaker 7: Best way to compare it is that it's this generation

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Speaker 7: twenty one, like the nine plus ten bus.

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Speaker 1: Fine, what does that mean?

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Speaker 6: The vine that was from I don't know, maybe ten

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Speaker 6: years ago, and it said what's nine plus ten? And

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Speaker 6: it's said twenty one? And everyone laughed at that.

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Speaker 4: I would say, it's this.

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Speaker 8: John twenty one. It's just a number that kids find funny.

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Speaker 1: Huh. I guess I missed two trends. Then. I don't

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Speaker 1: know where I was. I don't know where it was

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Speaker 1: another one, but I wasn't present for that either. Maybe

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Speaker 1: I was unconscious. I'm not sure. All right, Sidney, Well,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's probably yeah, right, it's probably okay.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't mean it sound like an old hit. I

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Speaker 1: just I don't. I don't know. I count on you

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Speaker 1: guys for that, and you really let me down on it.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I don't know any elementary schoolers.

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Speaker 1: I apologize if you could work on that better than

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Speaker 1: they tell me about. These are the radio blogs on

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Speaker 1: The Fresh Show. So it's like we're running in our diaries,

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Speaker 1: except we say them a loud. We call them blogs.

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Speaker 4: Paulina, Yes, go, thank you so much, dear blog. I've

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Speaker 4: been out of the babysitting game. For a minute. Okay,

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Speaker 4: I used to be a babysitter nanny.

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Speaker 9: If you will, and I will, you will, I will

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Speaker 9: because I'm much because these girls are they make money, honey, Okay,

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Speaker 9: I know it's a such your one right kind of thing.

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Speaker 4: I want to be.

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Speaker 9: Clear, and you should absolutely be paid what you are

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Speaker 9: owed and what you deserve.

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Speaker 4: And babysitting and childcare is no joke.

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Speaker 9: That is a job, and it's a difficult job and

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Speaker 9: for us, like I know Kayleen needs to do it too,

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Speaker 9: like it was such a fun job like when you're younger,

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Speaker 9: especially in college. And I'm trying to expand my village

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Speaker 9: right now. So I have my mother in law and

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Speaker 9: I have my mother, and then my sister in law

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Speaker 9: is helping. But next year things are going to change

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Speaker 9: for her, my sister in law, so she'll be out

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Speaker 9: of the picture completely for a little bit. And then

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Speaker 9: my mother in law works full time, so does my mom,

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Speaker 9: and everyone's got these opposite schedules. And I am so

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Speaker 9: grateful and blessed that we've gotten this far eighteen months

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Speaker 9: in where like I was able to really just lean

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Speaker 9: on everybody, and that is a blessing.

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Speaker 4: I don't take it for granted for a second.

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Speaker 9: And what I've been doing, though, is getting like little

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Speaker 9: part time like babysitters, mostly people that I know. So

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Speaker 9: like if you had like a niece or something, Freda

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Speaker 9: or Kaylen or whatever, and then you'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 9: I'm sure, yeah, and she's live in our.

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Speaker 4: States and I'm just trying a babysit gig.

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Speaker 1: So you want tady books an hour.

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Speaker 4: And you know what, my girl deserves that. But at

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Speaker 4: the same time, we got to be a little realistic.

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Speaker 9: Okay, can I please read to you what a sitter

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Speaker 9: told me that she charges and I don't think it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: How old is this person?

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Speaker 4: I want to say, maybe like twenty two to twenty.

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Speaker 1: Three, twenty three years old. Okay, it's just like a

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Speaker 1: side job for this person.

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Speaker 9: This is a side job. I believe she's still in

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Speaker 9: school one kid for one kid, and I'm then that

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Speaker 9: doesn't matter. And I used to hate this as a sitter,

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Speaker 9: like I'm upstairs in the most part, like doing other

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Speaker 9: things like working and other stuff. So like I'm in

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Speaker 9: the building, but I need someone to like watch GGI

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Speaker 9: play with her, feed her lunch because I can't do both.

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Speaker 9: And then like be on a phone call or a

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Speaker 9: zoom or like, you know, do you like typing emails?

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Speaker 9: Like I can't do that with a two year old

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Speaker 9: or almost two year old, Like it's really difficult, you know,

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Speaker 9: when they're pulling your computer or they're on your leg screaming,

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Speaker 9: Like it's really hard and that's really embarrassing too when

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Speaker 9: you're on a call. So I'm like I and honestly too,

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Speaker 9: she has more fun with these sitters because they're younger

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Speaker 9: and they're fun. They want to like play. I want

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Speaker 9: to play too, but like we gig play all day,

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Speaker 9: so like it's fun when a new face comes in

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Speaker 9: and she gets really excited.

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Speaker 4: I have two sitters that are like on rotation. Their neighbors.

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Speaker 9: They live like a couple of houses down, very convenient

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Speaker 9: neighbors are Also, these girls are also in high school,

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Speaker 9: so they've got school, which is way more important than me.

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Speaker 9: And then they've got extra curriculativities. They've got the sports

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Speaker 9: and this. Okay, so I found this girl and she's

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Speaker 9: really sweet and I love her. But I just don't

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Speaker 9: know if I'm crazy or if I'm like missing something here. Okay,

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Speaker 9: she asked, you know, hey, you're doing really well. Blah

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Speaker 9: blah blah. She goes for ongoing care. So I guess

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Speaker 9: that means like it's not like a we're not doing

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Speaker 9: a set schedule. It's more ongoing if you will. Like

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Speaker 9: there's no like full time part time position. It's like

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Speaker 9: maybe like ten hours in aney everything. Yeah, my starting

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Speaker 9: rate is thirty dollars an hour. Okay, I've heard of this.

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Speaker 9: This isn't crazy, and I baby said before, even from

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Speaker 9: like celebrity kids like I've baby said Dave gir Old kid,

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Speaker 9: like I've done all this. Yes, yeah, yes, yes, it's

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Speaker 9: the funny was there was a whole thing?

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Speaker 4: Yeah no, it's a really cool day. It was a

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Speaker 4: really cool day.

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Speaker 1: Okay, how much does she want a dial it in here?

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Speaker 4: It is an hour?

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Speaker 1: Is is?

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Speaker 9: I'm not gonna say it's crazy today because it's not

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Speaker 9: like back then I charged tofteen.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna be so real. This is also like seven.

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Speaker 9: Years old, so ten years ago, seven ten years ago, okay,

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Speaker 9: so we doubled the price.

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Speaker 4: Not terrible. I'm on mass.

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Speaker 1: So she wants she's twenty something years old, she wants

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Speaker 1: thirty bucks an hour.

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Speaker 9: There are forty year olds that w't make thirty dollars

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Speaker 9: an hour, So I just feel like that's not that

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Speaker 9: age matters. But that's that's a lot. But hey for

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Speaker 9: great care, like I will pay that, and I know

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Speaker 9: a lot of parents will agree with that. But it's

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Speaker 9: a great sitter. You trust her. I will pay my

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Speaker 9: arm legg and kidney like for a great sitter that

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Speaker 9: my daughter loves. Not crazy, I'm a little like whoa,

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Speaker 9: but like not crazy? Okay, this is the part of

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Speaker 9: lost Me. And then she charges a one hour fee

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Speaker 9: to cover prep and travel time each day.

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Speaker 1: Prep. Now she prepares? She like prep like, why are

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Speaker 1: we wacching a vaccine for this? Like? What are we like? Prep? Like?

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Speaker 1: Is she now? Hold on? Is she like teaching? Is

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Speaker 1: there like? Is there like a little program for the day?

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Speaker 1: Like are we doing our craps? And then she goes, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm being honest, like, wow, what are we what are

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Speaker 1: we prepping for? And I guess I figured that traffic

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Speaker 1: time or commute was just so of rolled into the

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Speaker 1: thirty bucks an hour, which I think is I don't

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Speaker 1: I think for an adult, I think that's probably about right.

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Speaker 1: I think that's what my sister pays. Yeah, And it's

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Speaker 1: not for twenty something because it's a second job, and

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Speaker 1: that you're talking about an adult. Now you're not talking

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Speaker 1: about a teenager. So the expectations higher.

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Speaker 9: And it depends to like where you live, like what

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Speaker 9: city or like what state you like the prices do

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Speaker 9: vary thirty dollars and we live in Chicago.

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Speaker 4: I'm not mad at that, that's not I'm not whatever.

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Speaker 4: I can do that. But I looked at this though,

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Speaker 4: and was like, WHOA. So I went to prep and

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Speaker 4: then to.

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Speaker 9: Drive and then she says, I've been working with this

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Speaker 9: mythology with families who live more than three miles away.

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Speaker 1: Mythology.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, mythology. I'm like methodology. Okay, so she's into mythology.

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Speaker 10: Now we're doing the same. But what what are we

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Speaker 10: teaching that? What sort of weird amivities are we into?

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Speaker 9: She is, she's worth thirty dollars and I'll pay them

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Speaker 9: telling I'll give you my kidney for a good sitter

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Speaker 9: or someone that can feak to me.

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Speaker 1: She's going to teach your kid abou zeus. I think

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Speaker 1: I think you'm at methodology right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, my bad?

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Speaker 9: Yeah, okay, anyway, so okay, put three miles away.

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Speaker 4: So I have a problem with that.

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Speaker 1: Wait, so you're paying an hour for commutedants three hours

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Speaker 1: or three miles.

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Speaker 4: So if you're more than three miles away, she'll charge

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Speaker 4: you the fee.

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Speaker 1: We have a radius even so.

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Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. I walk more than that a day.

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Speaker 9: So I used to drive across like one time for

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Speaker 9: a baby, same job. I drove two hours when I

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Speaker 9: live in Los Angeles. Cause for to go to like

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Speaker 9: Orange County, we're.

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Speaker 1: Talking about an hour and more in traffic then maybe

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Speaker 1: maybe or like.

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Speaker 9: Maybee, Like we're in the same city unless you live

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Speaker 9: like two hours away, then tell me this is not

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Speaker 9: gonna work, right, I'm not, We're not doing it.

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Speaker 1: Thirty bucks an hour doesn't surprise me. Actually the commute

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Speaker 1: time that you're paying for that kind of surprises me.

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Speaker 9: And I'm just I'm going through the text messages here.

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Speaker 9: People are in shock, just as I am, because I'm confused.

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Speaker 4: With the prep Like, hey, exactly what are you prepping?

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Speaker 4: You're kind of resort fee like at a hotel, Like

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Speaker 4: I don't really know what I'm paying for.

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Speaker 1: Roll it in man, like, don't don't nickel and dime me,

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Speaker 1: Like I hate that. And I got theyve gotten rid

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Speaker 1: of a lot of resort fees too, cause for that reason,

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Speaker 1: because you show up and you're like it' said two

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Speaker 1: hundred bucks a night for the great the resort. Now

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Speaker 1: it is seven hundred dollars. I check out. I'm like, wait,

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Speaker 1: it was all this all? Well? You know, did you

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Speaker 1: want to use like did you want to breathe?

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Speaker 7: Like?

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Speaker 1: Did you want to use the hallways? Did you oh

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Speaker 1: you wanted you didn't want to climb through the window? Well,

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Speaker 1: then sorry, then you're gonna have to pay it again

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Speaker 1: door feet. A lot of people, a lot of people, Uh,

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Speaker 1: forty five bucks a day, thirty dollars an hour is crazy.

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Speaker 1: People are saying they want to quit their job. Now

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Speaker 1: twenty bucks an hour? Look at me? Yeah, a lot

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Speaker 1: of people think it's it's a little bit high. What

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Speaker 1: is prep and drive charge? Babys hitting three miles thirty buck?

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Speaker 1: Yeah again, if you insisted on it, someone who lived,

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Speaker 1: you know, twenty miles away and was gonna have sit

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Speaker 1: in traffic for an hour and a half full time

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Speaker 1: is money and absolutely and so you know that costs

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Speaker 1: and gas is expensive. I guess I would get that,

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Speaker 1: but then you know, I think thirty bucks is high is.

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Speaker 4: On the high side, on the high side, it is,

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Speaker 4: so then.

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Speaker 1: You're already charging a premium. Yes, so I don't know.

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Speaker 1: If you insist on that, then maybe you charge thirty

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Speaker 1: five an hour or something. And then it's looped in

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Speaker 1: because I get one? Am I getting? Is it? Prep?

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Speaker 1: Are you showing up with like again? Are you showing

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Speaker 1: up with a with a program? Or are we doing

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Speaker 1: arch and crafts? So? Are you showing up with little clay?

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Speaker 1: Are we doing hacks? Do you bring your own rag?

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Speaker 7: Like?

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Speaker 1: Or what are we doing here? And then and then

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Speaker 1: you have to pay for her food too.

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Speaker 9: She didn't say that, but I always do as somebody

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Speaker 9: who like was a sitter, and then I hire sitters.

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Speaker 9: I will pay for lunch because I I'll order lunch

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Speaker 9: sometimes with the baby and me, and I'll be like, well,

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Speaker 9: what would you like?

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Speaker 1: I'll get them what That would be messed up if

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Speaker 1: you ate in front of her.

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Speaker 4: No, that's really rude.

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Speaker 7: Eve.

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Speaker 9: I'll leave alive food like I'll always get like an

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Speaker 9: your sister Amy, she does it too, I Amanda, I'm

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Speaker 9: losing it today. Amanda orders fooch show ordered food for them, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 9: you should I feed your babysitters.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, feed your sitters. But it's expensive.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like you know, so like this weekend, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be there and on Saturday, she's hiring a babysitter.

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Speaker 1: And I believe this woman works at the school where

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Speaker 1: my sister is a counselor, and so she's like a teacher,

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Speaker 1: so she's legitimate. But Coullie and may know her, so

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Speaker 1: they there's like a comfort whatever. I think she's thirty

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Speaker 1: bucks an hour, and so if we go out for

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Speaker 1: three hours or four hours, you can add one hundred

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Speaker 1: and twenty bucks to whatever we did exactly. So you know,

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Speaker 1: you go have a nice dinner, however much that costs.

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Speaker 1: You go someplace real classy like Applebee's or something. You know,

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Speaker 1: you got three people, we all get the three for me,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 3: Kids though usually people will charge more for multiple kids.

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Speaker 3: So thirty dollars for two kids is a nicety.

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Speaker 1: But this is that's a racket because the native is

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Speaker 1: already asleep. But my sister is funny about this. My

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Speaker 1: sister will be like, no, no, no, if we're hiring

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Speaker 1: a babysinner, they're coming at five. We're gonna eat at six.

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Speaker 1: I don't care because that woman is gonna get paid

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Speaker 1: to bathe my children right, put them down, Like we're

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Speaker 1: not doing the thing where the two kids are already

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Speaker 1: in bed, and I got to pay thirty bucks an

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Speaker 1: hour just to make sure they don't burn the house down.

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Speaker 1: Like you know, my sister wants to get a little something.

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Speaker 4: Their money's worth, right exactly.

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Speaker 1: So you know, usually it's like they're coming at five

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Speaker 1: thirty six, I'll feed them dinner. I pay them for

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Speaker 1: every hour, but you got you're doing bath time and

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Speaker 1: you're doing nighttime whatever stuff.

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Speaker 9: But I love that she still pays them that rate

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Speaker 9: even when the kids are sleeping, because some people will

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Speaker 9: fight on that shoe. It's so weird taking they're like, oh,

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Speaker 9: the kids are asleep, and it's like, doesn't mean anything.

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Speaker 9: The kid can wake up, the kid can cry. The

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Speaker 9: kid's next to me and it's happened to me. It's midnight,

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Speaker 9: and the kid's like not going back to sleep because

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Speaker 9: mom and dad are not there. They don't want to

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Speaker 9: go back to sleep, you know, to.

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Speaker 2: Be an alert.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be something if it's like forty dollars

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Speaker 1: for waking hours, thirty for sleeping people do that.

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Speaker 4: It was a make your own prices here.

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Speaker 1: And it's like I refuse to pay that for sleeping hours,

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Speaker 1: Well then I'm leaving.

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Speaker 4: It's your kid like price. You want them alive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's expensive. That's really expensive because again you're adding

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Speaker 1: one hundred plus dollars to your date night. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: already you know, an adult date night with some drinks

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Speaker 1: and stuff. You know, come on, like talking one hundred

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Speaker 1: hundred fifty bucks, go out to dinner, have some drinks,

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Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty bucks to go out for three hours.

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Speaker 1: You know, I can see why people wouldn't do that,

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Speaker 1: but stay or go by the way, Daddy Bob Chairman

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Speaker 1: did text me back. He did invent MTV and spring break.

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Speaker 1: And as for liability a little looser times back then,

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Speaker 1: No pun intended, because I asked him. I was like,

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Speaker 1: how did you like sleep at night when you were

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Speaker 1: doing this stuff? Because I you know, now you could

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Speaker 1: not need that. You could do it. You have to

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Speaker 1: sign waivers and yeah, you'd have fifty lawyers out there

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Speaker 1: and zero social distancing and masks and wrap people in

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Speaker 1: late next time. The allergies right, oh god, I mean,

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Speaker 1: what kind of candy. Do we have toys for the

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Speaker 1: kids that don't need candy? What are we doing here?

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Speaker 1: You know? Are the right right? How much is babysitting?

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Speaker 1: What do we do? I gotta pay for prep time?

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Speaker 1: That's crazy?

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Speaker 4: What is prep?

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Speaker 1: That's another thing? Is and you know what, I think

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Speaker 1: you should flip the script on these babysitter types, like

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Speaker 1: if you know and look, I like this, I understand

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Speaker 1: that it's not five bucks an hour anymore, ten or

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Speaker 1: fifteen or you know whatever, and it's a big responsibility

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Speaker 1: and you will and if you get somebody good. I

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Speaker 1: also have heard it can be very competitive, where like

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Speaker 1: people will find a good babysitter and they don't want

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Speaker 1: to tell their friends about her because they want to

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Speaker 1: make sure that she's available.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's real on.

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Speaker 1: Like Saturday nights for them, And so a lot of

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Speaker 1: them will pay even more to make sure that they're

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Speaker 1: the preferred house, right Exactly, You can flip the script

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Speaker 1: and be like, hey, if I'm paying a premium rate,

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Speaker 1: like so let's say thirty bucks. People seem to agree

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Speaker 1: on the text that in our little focus group here,

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Speaker 1: that that thirty bucks is a premium rate for a

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Speaker 1: babysitter if I'm paying that, what language do you speak? What? Like? What? What?

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Speaker 1: What are you bringing to the table here? You know,

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Speaker 1: like what what are we? Are you an artist? Are

404
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 1: you do you? I mean, come on, like, okay, you're

405
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Speaker 1: prepping for what to teach my kid how to speak

406
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Speaker 1: you know Mandarin? Okay, great, let's do it. Like that's amazing,

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Speaker 1: I'm all for it. That's thirty bucks an hour. That's real.

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Speaker 4: It's expensive. You guys, stay safe out there.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, if I ever had a kid, and I don't

410
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Speaker 1: think it's happening, but if I ever had a kid,

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Speaker 1: we were saying this off the air, like I would

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Speaker 1: absolutely if I had babysitters or help or whatever, if

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Speaker 1: I if I could afford that, then I would. Those

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Speaker 1: people would bring something to the table that I well,

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Speaker 1: in addition to like knowing how to deal with children

416
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,480
Speaker 1: they like and keeping them safe and things like that

417
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Speaker 1: that I don't know how to feed them and things

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to do, they would have to

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Speaker 1: I mean a language, like like different sort of perspective,

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Speaker 1: and I would almost be do you speak to little

421
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Speaker 1: Freddie and whatever whatever your native tongue is, Like that's

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Speaker 1: the that you guys can interact like that, because yes,

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Speaker 1: because because I want my kid to be way smarter

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Speaker 1: than I am here and I don't. I think speaking

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Speaker 1: more than one language is almost has become like the

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Speaker 1: way it needs it should be the way it is

427
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Speaker 1: in the world. So say or go. This is a

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Speaker 1: note that we got and this woman does not want

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Speaker 1: to be on the air, but she wanted us to

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Speaker 1: read this entire email. So I want to know what

431
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 1: you guys think. We're debating some relationship dramming her. I

432
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,119
Speaker 1: feel like this is pretty relatable eight five, five, five, nine,

433
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,960
Speaker 1: one one oh three five. Unfortunately, I think people can

434
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,119
Speaker 1: relate to this, but it says Dear Fred's show. I'm

435
00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,879
Speaker 1: struggling to decide if I should stay with my husband

436
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,880
Speaker 1: of three years together for nine and would love some insight.

437
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: We started having problems about two years ago, and I

438
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,760
Speaker 1: feel like we just can't seem to stay in a

439
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,920
Speaker 1: happy place. I did start going to therapy shortly after

440
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,640
Speaker 1: the problem started, and actually he did too. We even

441
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,360
Speaker 1: started doing couples sessions in addition to our individual sessions.

442
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 1: They seem to help for a bit, at least in

443
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,680
Speaker 1: the sense that we'd fix the problem, but then after

444
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,119
Speaker 1: a few weeks we'd be having the same arguments all

445
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 1: over again. We just had a baby in March and

446
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 1: he was two months early, so that led to a

447
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:20,400
Speaker 1: five week nick You stay for him and a Ronald

448
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,159
Speaker 1: McDonald house stay for us. To say that that tested

449
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 1: our relationship would be an understatement. I guess part of

450
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Speaker 1: me really hoped that he would finally step up to

451
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,639
Speaker 1: be the man I wanted and needed once he became

452
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 1: a father. Don't get me wrong, he is not a

453
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,159
Speaker 1: bad person. But I feel like I'm putting all my

454
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 1: energy into saving our relationship, but despite me asking, he's

455
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,159
Speaker 1: not doing the same. I never wanted a broken family

456
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,359
Speaker 1: for my baby, but I know that I also don't

457
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:47,159
Speaker 1: want him to grow up in a home full of

458
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 1: anger and arguments. I've contemplated staying until my baby is

459
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 1: a year old, but even that has started to feel

460
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 1: like an impossible challenge. I'm starting to wonder if we're

461
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,160
Speaker 1: even compatible anymore, but I don't know what the right

462
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 1: answer is. I would love all of your input. Thanks

463
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 1: for your time. First of I don't know none of

464
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 1: us fortunately have any experience in You know all of that.

465
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 1: You've got a relationship that with struggles. You've got a

466
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,520
Speaker 1: kid now, a kid that was sick. I mean, I

467
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 1: know that that is incredibly stressful for relationships, and so

468
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,919
Speaker 1: you add that challenge to all of this, and it's like,

469
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 1: you know, what person am I getting? Right?

470
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:21,720
Speaker 8: Like?

471
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 1: Am I We're so stressed out? You know, we're trying

472
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 1: to take care of our baby, and so, I mean,

473
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,959
Speaker 1: you separate that from all of this, But they were

474
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 1: having problems before that. Again, I don't know that it's

475
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: fair to judge people when they're under pressure, but they're

476
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: both under pressure and she doesn't feel supported. And I

477
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 1: don't know how he feels because we haven't heard his

478
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 1: side of it. But eight five, five, five, nine one

479
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 1: one oh three five I'm curious what would you guys

480
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: do in this situation? I mean, this woman, you know,

481
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 1: she doesn't feel like she's connecting with their partner anymore,

482
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,880
Speaker 1: and you know they have gone to therapy and they

483
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 1: at least she's tried. It seems. I don't know what

484
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,639
Speaker 1: comes to mind. You're the married one, what would you do?

485
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 4: I am a married woman.

486
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 9: You said, the situation is a little bit different, and

487
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 9: you know there's uh they were they have a child right,

488
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 9: and then there was some health stuff going on. But

489
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 9: I do feel like the first i'd say almost two

490
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 9: years of being postpartum as a woman is already just

491
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 9: extremely difficult, and I think it's difficult for both parties right,

492
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 9: Like you're not going to connect as much. You're not

493
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 9: going to feel the same as you did, like you

494
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 9: know when you first met or even when you first

495
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 9: like got married or whatever. It might be just because

496
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 9: there's so much going on the first year for sure,

497
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 9: but I almost extended to two years of post baby life.

498
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 4: Life is different.

499
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 9: They're going through a lot of stuff right now too,

500
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 9: and they did with their own child. So I feel

501
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 9: like if both parties want to, like exactly like in

502
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 9: therapy discussed this, do you want to be in this relationship?

503
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 4: Do you want to work through this?

504
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,680
Speaker 9: Because if you don't, then one person's already out the

505
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 9: door whatever, then I would say.

506
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 4: This isn't gonna work.

507
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 9: But I feel like it's so hard when you are

508
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 9: freshly postpartum, so really like make that choice right or

509
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 9: to feel like, oh, do I want to be in

510
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 9: this relationship or not? Because they say it's the hard

511
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 9: it's a challenges relationships and marriages a lot, and.

512
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 3: They were having problems beforehand, and I think she's just

513
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:06,119
Speaker 3: looking for some effort.

514
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 4: It's interesting. Yeah, I don't know.

515
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 3: That's hard if you're already having existing issues. We know,

516
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 3: kids don't fix anything, They make them more difficulty.

517
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,159
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Like, the problem was there, and

518
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,879
Speaker 1: then they introduce a kid, and then you introduce some

519
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 1: of the biological things that occur anyway, and then on

520
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: top of that you introduce the stress of the kid

521
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 1: being early and those challenges.

522
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say, like you said, have a conversation

523
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 3: where it's just a blacker white question do you want

524
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 3: to save this?

525
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 1: You know?

526
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 3: And both parties answer, And then if there is no

527
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 3: emotional or physical abuse, I say, then try to maybe

528
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 3: work through it a little bit more, because it would

529
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 3: be a very difficult time to go through a separation

530
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 3: as well, and it is hard on both parties. But

531
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 3: she said that getting to the end of the year

532
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 3: even sounds difficult for her right now, which makes me wonder,

533
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,639
Speaker 3: you know, what else is going on?

534
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey Jen, Hello, good morning, Hi young, good morning.

535
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: So you heard this scenario and stare going You're saying

536
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: stay why I say stay?

537
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 8: So my husband and I are actually going through almost

538
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 8: the exact same thing, Like it's crazy and saying, how

539
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 8: many couples are going through this right now? So what's

540
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 8: helping us is actually reading that book the Five Love Languages. Yeah,

541
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 8: a popular one, and it teaches people what your partner's

542
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 8: language might be, and it could be like two different languages,

543
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 8: like he's speaking one and she's speaking another, and they're

544
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 8: just not on the same page. So getting an insight

545
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 8: like that and actually writing something down like Okay, well

546
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,399
Speaker 8: this would make me feel loved or this would make

547
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,919
Speaker 8: me feel hurt or open, and then they both do

548
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,360
Speaker 8: the same thing and it's like, oh okay, something might

549
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 8: click and they understand each other better. And the whole

550
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,959
Speaker 8: thing with a baby and the nick you, we actually

551
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 8: had that too, and it's really hard and having a

552
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 8: new baby it puts so much stress on a relationship.

553
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 8: But you have to like try and look at all

554
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 8: your options to see what helps you guys reconnect and

555
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 8: understand each other because communication is so important, and if

556
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 8: they're like speaking totally different languages towards each other, it's

557
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 8: never gonna help.

558
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: The love language thing is temporarily better. To your point,

559
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 1: you and the love language thing is really impactful, because

560
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,479
Speaker 1: you're right. I mean, I could be communicating you know

561
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 1: in a way, or I could be sharing my affection

562
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 1: with you in a way that isn't as useful as

563
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 1: a different way. You know. Maybe I'm a gift giver,

564
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: or maybe I'm a time spent person in your words

565
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: of affirmation person and so here I think I'm putting

566
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 1: in the effort, but it's not landing with you. It's

567
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 1: not resonating with you the way I wanted to because

568
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: I'm not connecting with you in a way that would

569
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 1: be more productive.

570
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 8: Yes, it's so real. How that is like that my

571
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 8: husband and I were completely different too, So like we're

572
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 8: trying so hard. I have to like we're ready to

573
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 8: post it notes now like I felt this such and

574
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,480
Speaker 8: such way, and then it will come back to it later.

575
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 8: Because he's a talker and he's the more the physical

576
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 8: touch with I think most guys are, and I'm the

577
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 8: quality time type of person. So it's they might just

578
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 8: have very different things. So I think she should stay

579
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 8: for now and really look at all the options. So

580
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 8: I'm curious to know if the therapists that they've been

581
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 8: going to even suggest to that or you know, brought

582
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 8: something like that to their attention.

583
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, Jen, I appreciate it, and I hope

584
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 1: everything gets better. Thank good. Yeah, glad you called it.

585
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 1: And there are a few people on the text saying

586
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,959
Speaker 1: and you do hear this sometimes like if things are

587
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 1: going so poorly, then why have a child? Well, I

588
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 1: mean there are lots of variables there, like did they

589
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,479
Speaker 1: mean to have the child? And then yeah, this sir,

590
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 1: I've heard of scenarios where things are going terribly and

591
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: it's like, well, let's let's make a kid and then

592
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: that'll bring us closer together. Now that's not necessarily great logic.

593
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I wouldn't say let's add a really really

594
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: stressful element to something that's already not working. But I

595
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, I think there are people that

596
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: just relationships are hard. And I'm saying this mostly based

597
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 1: on what I know. I'm not firsthand, but relationship. I

598
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 1: think we would all agree relationships are hard, and so

599
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,120
Speaker 1: I think maybe some people just assume that it's going

600
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,120
Speaker 1: to be challenging and then they still go about their

601
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: goals of creating a family. And maybe for her, the

602
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: idea of divorcing him really wasn't on the forefront until recently,

603
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like, well, I'm not going to

604
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: leave him, We're going to work through this. It's a

605
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 1: hard time, we're going to get past it. But then

606
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 1: as issues compound, it gets worse. So I don't know

607
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 1: that it's as simple as why go and have a

608
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: kid when things aren't going well? I don't know that that.

609
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: I don't know. We don't know enough to say if

610
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: that was the logic or not. Hey Emily, Hey hi Emily,

611
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 1: you hear this day? Orgo? What do you think?

612
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,959
Speaker 7: I think that she needs to take all the energy

613
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 7: she's spending worrying about her marriage and everything else.

614
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: And just focus on the child. They didn't.

615
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 7: It doesn't sound like they were in a solid place

616
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 7: before the child. It's not going to get better. And like, honestly,

617
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 7: she didn't list any reason for being with him, you know,

618
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 7: and agresan it could be she's health insurance or x

619
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 7: y Z, but it's like, you know, why is one

620
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 7: to enhance your life, not someone that's going to.

621
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: Make it more stressful. Well, in fairness, if she's going

622
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 1: to do that, Emily, if she's not, if she's just

623
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: going to sort of abandon any effort towards the relationship.

624
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: It then she should leave it, right, because that's not

625
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: going to help anything. If she just says, all right,

626
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pretending this guy's not even there and focus

627
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: on my kid, well, then then leave right. No, no, yeah,

628
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: I said leave.

629
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 7: But she should focus on healthy relationship and just focus

630
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:13,679
Speaker 7: on the child.

631
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because we're yeah, Okay, I get what you're saying.

632
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 1: Thank you, Emily, you have a good day. Yeah, fe

633
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 1: glad you called. Hey Katie, Hi, Katie, Hi, are you hi?

634
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 1: Good morning? So sadly you've been in this situation, but

635
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: you're saying stay.

636
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 6: Yes, absolutely, would tell me mom. So we so we

637
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 6: have my husband and I have been together or we've

638
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 6: been married for ten years together almost fourteen, four kids,

639
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 6: lots of stress. We almost lost our two months or

640
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 6: our baby when she was two months old TURFB. So

641
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 6: we were at the university for a few weeks. We

642
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,239
Speaker 6: just dealt with a two months stay at Riley with

643
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 6: my nine year old for crones. Okay, So we've had

644
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 6: a lot of a lot of stressful situations with our kids.

645
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 6: Health wise, money's tight. We both work full time, but

646
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 6: supporting four kids is difficult. But you're going to have

647
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 6: a lot of these stressful situations in your marriage and

648
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 6: you kind of just have to look at each other

649
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 6: and say is it worth it? And you just have

650
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 6: to stop and say, you know, I love you, you love me.

651
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 6: At the end of the day, that's all we need.

652
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 8: We're going to just work through it.

653
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean it takes a lot of strength.

654
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: There are people saying in the text. One says, does

655
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: he do have his half of the parenting? If he

656
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 1: doesn't now, he never will. Do you think that's true?

657
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: I mean, is it if the effort is there? I mean,

658
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 1: is that what we're looking for. We're looking for the effort.

659
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: Even if you disconnect, you're.

660
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 6: You're going to put into it what you want to

661
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 6: put into it. So if he's not wanting to put

662
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,919
Speaker 6: that effort towards it, then maybe stop and you know,

663
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 6: look at what you are dealing with. But I mean,

664
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 6: it's a fifty to fifty thing, especially when you have

665
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 6: kids and when you're both working. Everyone has to work now,

666
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 6: and if he's not putting toward his effort and he hasn't,

667
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 6: then you kind of need to you know, look at

668
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 6: that and say maybe this isn't worth it.

669
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 4: She did say his effort is lacking.

670
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 3: That's what she told me, and she's asked multiple times

671
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 3: she feels like she's putting in more effort for the relationship.

672
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 1: Then yes, well then.

673
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 6: I mean you can have that conversation with him, and

674
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 6: if he doesn't seem to get it, then that would

675
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 6: definitely be something that I would kind of look into

676
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 6: a little bit further.

677
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 1: Well, Katie, thank you for listening, for sharing, and good luck.

678
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 8: Thank you you too.

679
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a good day. And again, you know,

680
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: if he were unwilling to get any sort of outside help,

681
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 1: be it you know, therapy or faith based or whatever

682
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: it is, then you could say, well, maybe he's depressed

683
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: or he has some sort of something going on with

684
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: him that if that's rectified, then that might improve the situation.

685
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: Because sometimes, you know, you can get in your own

686
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: head to where everything seems daunting and then you're not

687
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: really maybe feeling like you're being productive or valuable to anyone.

688
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: But it sounds like he's done some of that. So

689
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: he has made an effort. I don't know how much,

690
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: but it's it's not as though he's living this way

691
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: and then saying why, well, I'm not going to do

692
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: anything about it, which we do here sometimes in this thing. Hey,

693
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 1: Laurie nice, you went through something similar and you say go.

694
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 1: We've had stay and we've had go from people who

695
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: know this. Unfortunately, why why go? Because he's not going

696
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: to change, and how do we know we can?

697
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 5: Well, I went through it. I hoped that when the

698
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 5: why curse, that when the baby came, he would step up,

699
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 5: you know, be there. And he was sometimes sometimes he

700
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 5: was great, and then he would go back to doing

701
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 5: what he wanted to do and not be in there.

702
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 5: And it was fighting, and I tried to five years

703
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 5: to make it work. But the same thing. He'll get

704
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 5: you know, he's going to step up, He's going to

705
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 5: step up. He was a great guy.

706
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 4: He's still a great guy.

707
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 8: We're still friends. We co parented together.

708
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 5: But the unhappiness he never went away. We tried, you know,

709
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 5: working it out, and we tried working it out, and

710
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 5: he would get better for a little bit, and then

711
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 5: he would just slide right back into his ways of

712
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 5: doing what he wanted to do. And he was a

713
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 5: great husband and a great father when.

714
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 8: He wanted to be.

715
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 4: So no consistent, but count on him no consistency.

716
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: Well, Laurie, I'm sorry, but I appreciate their perspective. Have

717
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: a good day you too. I'm not sure we've helped

718
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: much because you get a lot of people who've been

719
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: through this calling in and it's about fifty to fifty

720
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,239
Speaker 1: go stay, go. I'm looking at all these right now,

721
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 1: a lot a lot of go U and then a

722
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: lot of stay. You've committed almost nine years to this,

723
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: so or ten years to this, so you got to

724
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: stick with it. You got to write it out and

725
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: you got a lot of this. Love is not all

726
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 1: you need. And yeah, yeah, do you have what it

727
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: takes to battle show biz? Shelley in the show Biz Showdown, Hoby, Hi, showbiz, Hey,

728
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: good morning. All right, we got good money, we got

729
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 1: a tie breaker, we got Jade Hi Jane, hello, j

730
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: all right you both got five yesterday? Right, yeah, boy,

731
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: go on for Yeah, Jane knows her stuff here, but

732
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: five questions a tiebreaker this morning. Eight hundred and fifty

733
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: bucks is the price one thousand and seventy six wins,

734
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 1: only seventy four losses? You guys, ready, yes, good enough?

735
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 2: Jane?

736
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: All right, you gotta go off. She goes to the

737
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: sound booth poop. She cannot hear the questions, uh one

738
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: radio Joe, Well, no, I think it's I don't know

739
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: you want speakerphone or something because I hear myself real time. No,

740
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: I'm not, I don't know. I hear myself some sided

741
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: nurse Shenanigans.

742
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 2: Are you using shatt Yeah?

743
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: What's going on here? Are you playing this right? Anyway? Witch?

744
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: Star of the Bear and Deliver me from Nowhere? Said

745
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: he just graduated high school at the age of thirty four.

746
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: Jeremy Allen White, Katy Perry and her new man made

747
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: their first planned public appearance in Paris over the weekend.

748
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 1: Who is she dating? Justin the summer? I turned pretty star?

749
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: Lola Tongue is twenty three today? On which streaming service?

750
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: Which you find that show video? It looks like Megan

751
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: Fox and Machine Gun Kelly maybe back together? Did they

752
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: recently welcome a baby boy or girl?

753
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 8: Girl?

754
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: And Kim Kardashian says she's close to becoming a practicing lawyer,

755
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: following in the footsteps of her dad. Who is Kim's

756
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: late father, Robert Kardashian. That's another five, another one, My goodness, Oh, boy.

757
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: Here she comes, showing another five stop. I will stop.

758
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: I refuse to stop. I will never stop. Are you ready? Yeah,

759
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: we may be doing this for a while. Which Star

760
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: of the Bear and Deliver Me from Nowhere said he

761
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: just graduated high school at the age of thirty four.

762
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 4: Jeremy Allen Waye.

763
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. Katy Perry and her new man made their first

764
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,239
Speaker 1: planned public appearance in Paris over the weekend. Who is

765
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 1: she dating Justin Trudeau? Yeah, the summer I turned pretty

766
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: Star Lola Tongue is twenty three today on which streaming

767
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: service would you find that show?

768
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 2: Threeeks?

769
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: No? No, it's Prime. No, it looks like Megan, Foxy Machine,

770
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: Kelly maybe back together? Did they recently welcome a boy

771
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: or a girl?

772
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 4: A girl?

773
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: It was a girl And Kim Kardashian says she's close

774
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: to becoming a practicing lawyer, following in the footsteps of

775
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: her dad, who is Kim's late father, Robert kardash Yeah,

776
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 1: but that's the four that is before. I'm sorry you

777
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 1: did not win, Jane. You won Jay eight hundred and

778
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 1: fifty bucks. Yeah, you.

779
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 4: I'm so excited.

780
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 1: That's good.

781
00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 4: That's three homes an hour.

782
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: That's seventy five. I think, Shelley, you have to say,

783
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 1: my name is Shelly. I got showed up in my

784
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: own darn game.

785
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 4: I got showed up on a showdown by Jade.

786
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:19,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Jade, you can hang with real cat cat

787
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 1: cat cat cats, boobs cats, boom boom cat cat.

788
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 4: Jade is really good at this boobs.

789
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 1: Cato cat cats, boots cat cat cats.

790
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 11: I know that was beautiful boots and cats. That was

791
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 11: one of the worst boots and cats in my life.

792
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 11: It was really terrible. I'm dizzy from Actually, I'll work

793
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 11: on it. Yeah, there was no synchronosity. There is that

794
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 11: the word synchronized.

795
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,800
Speaker 4: Whatever, like, yeah, crazy.

796
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: Jade, I'm a little dizzy still, I'm a little great

797
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,919
Speaker 1: out Hey, hang on a second, Jade, have a good day.

798
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,439
Speaker 1: Thank you to enjoy your money, Shelley. She was good.

799
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 4: That's over with.

800
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: Actually she was good though, she was really good. So

801
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: it's one hundred bucks tomorrow.

802
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 4: I want she won eight, like eight hundred dollars.

803
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 10: You said eight fifty eight fifty percently not the fifty okay, Yeah, no,

804
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 10: that's a big deal.

805
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 1: Eight hundred and fifty bucks. That's she got to end

806
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: one hundred bucks tomorrow, will do it again.

807
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 4: Have a good days showing right you too?

808
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: Bye? Okay, but yeah, she was really good. It was

809
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:23,839
Speaker 1: gonna be five after five I think for a while,

810
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: let's do Waiting by the Phone, The Fun Fact, The

811
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,879
Speaker 1: Entertainment Report, headlines, and more. Next on The Fread Show.

812
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: More Fread Show Next