Speaker 1: Hi everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress, Welcome
Speaker 1: back Whipsmarties for an episode I am so excited about.
Speaker 1: We are joined by one of my favorite comedians today,
Speaker 1: Heather McMahon is on the podcast here to talk about
Speaker 1: her latest comedy tour, her incredible podcast, and how she
Speaker 1: manages to literally do it all. You can stream her
Speaker 1: comedy special Breadwinner now on Hulu, in which she very
Speaker 1: humorously and hilariously explores the pressures of being her family's
Speaker 1: financial support, the perils of being a golf widow, wedding
Speaker 1: planning on an overblown budget, in law dynamics, and more.
Speaker 1: And you can get a dose of her every week
Speaker 1: on her podcast Absolutely Not, she says absolutely not to
Speaker 1: legitimately everything. She's making a safe space for us all
Speaker 1: to tell all and bitch about all the rest. There
Speaker 1: are no topics off limits on her show. She breaks
Speaker 1: down every day struggles of doing the most and the
Speaker 1: least at the same damn time. It is so funny.
Speaker 1: It definitely brings me joy in a crazy, crazy year.
Speaker 1: So let's dive in and hear from Heather. Okay, before
Speaker 1: we jump into this insanity that we live in, I
Speaker 1: got to rewind with you, because I like to know
Speaker 1: who people were as kids. And this is why I
Speaker 1: know you. I mean I met you as a I'm
Speaker 1: probably a bumbling fan. Like when we met, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I got aye. But we all know you from your
Speaker 1: work and your jokes and your personality and the tours
Speaker 1: and the space rushels and the things. If we went
Speaker 1: back to before your life was this, and if you
Speaker 1: got to hang out with yourself at like eight or
Speaker 1: nine years old, would you see this version of you
Speaker 1: in her? Or was it totally unpredictable.
Speaker 2: No, I would be able to look myself in the
Speaker 2: eyes and be like, well, you did exactly what you
Speaker 2: said you were going to do. I was a very
Speaker 2: determined kid. I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
Speaker 2: I was going to be in theater. I was going
Speaker 2: to be in comedy. Actually is so interesting. I found
Speaker 2: a book. My mom and I were cleaning out some
Speaker 2: closets at her house, literally found a book last week.
Speaker 3: It was called Growing Up.
Speaker 2: And it was a book that like everybody in our
Speaker 2: class in fourth grade wrote a little thing of like
Speaker 2: what they want to be when they get older. Mine,
Speaker 2: I shit you not, I'll pull it up. Mine a picture, Yes,
Speaker 2: I have a picture of the whole thing. Mine was
Speaker 2: me on stage getting a Grammy because I thought I
Speaker 2: was going to be a singer. I did a lot
Speaker 2: of musical theater as a kid. Lost the voice a
Speaker 2: while ago. Oh, son, and so I'm on stage. It's
Speaker 2: a little drawing of me getting my Grammy. Oh, I
Speaker 2: don't mind me as I'm scrolling for it. Okay, so
Speaker 2: let me just show you this.
Speaker 3: So this is me. I don't e ses at the
Speaker 3: Grammys right old and God.
Speaker 2: My whole thing it says when I grow up, I
Speaker 2: want to I want to be a star and have
Speaker 2: many opportunities to accomplish this dream. I'd love to have
Speaker 2: my own record label and my own production company as well.
Speaker 2: I go on to basically say, if you can believe
Speaker 2: it and dream it, you can do it. And then
Speaker 2: I say I'd love to have a show like Rosie O'donnald's.
Speaker 2: She's just such a great person with a lot of talent.
Speaker 2: And I literally like go on to say, like I,
Speaker 2: this is what I want to do. I knew I
Speaker 2: was going to be an entertainer from a little kid,
Speaker 2: and my mom and I found this and we were
Speaker 2: cracking up. I'm like, I was writing this shit down
Speaker 2: in the fourth grade. I knew what I wanted to do.
Speaker 2: But I think that became a harder thing later and
Speaker 2: in life because when I got to college, I was
Speaker 2: so envious of my friends who were like undeclared, who
Speaker 2: didn't know what they want wanted to do, because that
Speaker 2: felt more freeing to me. I was like, oh, you're
Speaker 2: still trying to figure out exactly what you want to do.
Speaker 2: I know what I want to do, but it still
Speaker 2: seems so far away.
Speaker 1: So when by the time you got to college, was
Speaker 1: it a feeling of pressure you were putting on yourself
Speaker 1: or was it that you were on the precipice of
Speaker 1: you know, quote unquote adulthood and still didn't know how
Speaker 1: you were going to get your foot in the door.
Speaker 3: A mixture of both. I think when you are because
Speaker 3: I since.
Speaker 2: I was a little kid, I always said I'm going
Speaker 2: to be on stage, I'm going to be doing something
Speaker 2: in the arts. So I think to go into college
Speaker 2: and know exactly what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3: Like I went to the University Mississippi.
Speaker 2: A lot of my girlfriends wanted to stay locally or
Speaker 2: you know. They I was like, oh no, once I
Speaker 2: get out of here, I'm moving to New York, I'm
Speaker 2: doing stand up, I'm doing the thing.
Speaker 3: So for me, it was like, I, while I.
Speaker 2: Enjoyed my college experience so much, I was ready to
Speaker 2: like get to the next thing, and then I got
Speaker 2: out and I was like, now this is where the
Speaker 2: fun starts. But it was also terrifying because I knew
Speaker 2: how long, you know. I knew it was going to
Speaker 2: take a while to get the ball rolling. So I
Speaker 2: was always envious of the folks who were like, I
Speaker 2: don't know what I want to do. I was like, Wow,
Speaker 2: to have that freedom, to be able to figure it out.
Speaker 2: I actually felt that that was more freeing than knowing
Speaker 2: exactly what I wanted to do, because I was like,
Speaker 2: the pressure is on and the clock is ticking, it's
Speaker 2: we got to go. And now, looking back, I would
Speaker 2: be like, that's insane. I would tell people you can
Speaker 2: reinvent yourself a billion times through your life, right of course,
Speaker 2: But yeah, no, I knew I was a very driven kid.
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3: Now it turned out I need an.
Speaker 1: Actual copy of that photo I want to make, Okay,
Speaker 1: so obviously Rosie O'Donnell is one answer to this question.
Speaker 1: But who else from the comedy world inspired you when
Speaker 1: you were growing up.
Speaker 3: I was a.
Speaker 2: Huge Lucille Ball fan because I'm very big in a
Speaker 2: physical comedy, so watching her that was like, I mean,
Speaker 2: she was the idol.
Speaker 3: But for the reason I got understand up was Joan Rivers.
Speaker 2: Joan was just saying things back in the day that
Speaker 2: women did not have. You know, I don't want to
Speaker 2: say the balls to say I didn't have, uh, you know,
Speaker 2: the the tits to say, like, she just knew what
Speaker 2: she was doing. And when I was starting out and
Speaker 2: stand up in New York, I would follow her all
Speaker 2: the time and go see your shows. And I got
Speaker 2: to meet her outside of a show one night and
Speaker 2: I was like, miss Rivers, I just want you to
Speaker 2: know I'm such a fan. You're the reason why I
Speaker 2: got into comedy. And she was like, I have a
Speaker 2: good feeling about you. You're gonna You're gonna make it.
Speaker 2: Years later, I moved to La I'm sitting at a
Speaker 2: bar one night at Doms, you know, the sister restaurant
Speaker 2: to Little Doms, but it was work clothes and I'm
Speaker 2: sitting in there at the bars and I hear her
Speaker 2: walk in. I was like, I know that voice. So
Speaker 2: I go over to her table and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 2: miss Rivers, I just want you to know I took
Speaker 2: your advice. I moved to LA because she told me
Speaker 2: to move to Lay. She's like, you have a very
Speaker 2: commercial look. You need to be doing television. You need
Speaker 2: to move.
Speaker 3: So I went to LA and I said, I took
Speaker 3: your advice. Like, thank you.
Speaker 2: Here, I am doing the thing. She's like, I'm telling you,
Speaker 2: I have a really good feeling about you. You're gonna
Speaker 2: make it. And I swear to god, I got in
Speaker 2: my car.
Speaker 3: I called my dad.
Speaker 2: I was sitting in the valet at this restaurant. I
Speaker 2: was like, Joan, gave me your blessing. She died like
Speaker 2: nine months later, no, h huh, huh huh wow. And
Speaker 2: I got to meet her daughter, Melissa about a year ago,
Speaker 2: and I told Melissa, I was like, you don't understand,
Speaker 2: like your mom meant everything to me and was such
Speaker 2: a guiding light in the stand up world for me.
Speaker 2: So I'm just so grateful to her.
Speaker 1: That was so special. Yeah, I mean an icon.
Speaker 2: Truly, Who did you follow growing up? Because I mean,
Speaker 2: you've been doing this forever though.
Speaker 1: I mean kind of. I you know, I wanted to
Speaker 1: be a doctor. I thought I was going to be
Speaker 1: a heart surgeon. That was my plan. And then I
Speaker 1: had an arts requirement because I went to this great,
Speaker 1: I mean amazing school in Pasadena, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. You know, they gave
Speaker 1: us these two years of arts requirements. In every semester
Speaker 1: you had to do something different, and I thought I
Speaker 1: was going to game the system by putting off the
Speaker 1: theater requirement until the same semester I was supposed to
Speaker 1: play volleyball. And they were like, you did this to yourself,
Speaker 1: Like you are at school to learn how to be
Speaker 1: a functioning adult, and you chose to delay this. And
Speaker 1: if you've done it last semester, you could have done
Speaker 1: a play and done a sport, but now you're going
Speaker 1: to have to miss your sport to do this. And
Speaker 1: I was like, what such a lesson about you know,
Speaker 1: personal accountability? Really early and then I did this play
Speaker 1: and I was like, wait, I love this. It's not
Speaker 1: all by the way, no shade. I love musical theater,
Speaker 1: but I'm also just like not a musical theater kid.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, theater isn't the sound of music.
Speaker 1: You can, like, you can do these really topical, intense
Speaker 1: or comedic things where you don't have to sing on
Speaker 1: stage what And it changed my whole life. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: but my favorite subject has always been English and this
Speaker 1: is basically just a book that's alive. Yeah, and so
Speaker 1: it really shifted the whole thing for me. And then
Speaker 1: when I told my parents that I wasn't going to
Speaker 1: go to medical school, I wanted to go get a
Speaker 1: BFA in theater. You can imagine how well that went over.
Speaker 2: I'm sure assholes were clenched. It's like at that moment
Speaker 2: they're like, Mom, Dad, I'm a thespian and the parents
Speaker 2: are like just gravely disappointed.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, and my dad, ironically enough, you know, for his
Speaker 1: whole career, was a really wonderful photographer, which is also
Speaker 1: why I think I ride so hard for the crew,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'd come from a crew family, even
Speaker 1: though my dad's like crew job was deeply cool. And
Speaker 1: one of the people he photographed for the longest run
Speaker 1: over his forty plus years career was John Rivers. Wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: he must have like they were tighter her yeah, like John,
Speaker 1: you know, she'd have something to do in New York
Speaker 1: and be like, absolutely not. You got to fly Charles
Speaker 1: Bush out here from LA. I'm not shooting with anybody here.
Speaker 1: She she had a point where she was like, nobody
Speaker 1: knows how to light me, bring my guy, and like
Speaker 1: it would. They had a very sweet friend.
Speaker 3: Wait if he still has any prints, I'm going to
Speaker 3: ask them because.
Speaker 1: I already wrote down a note.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I'm redoing a office in my house
Speaker 2: right now, and that's what I need.
Speaker 3: And I was stuck Getty Images.
Speaker 2: I was like, I need a blown up rent like
Speaker 2: an iconic photo of Joan in this Yes, my office.
Speaker 3: Wow, what a cool gig.
Speaker 1: So cool, so so cool. And yeah. I remember years
Speaker 1: later when I was working on TV, my parents finally
Speaker 1: were like, so crazy that you're doing this. When you
Speaker 1: first told us you were going to go to theater school,
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, you freaked out and my
Speaker 1: dad was like, no, you don't understand. Like the level
Speaker 1: of meltdown was so intense. He goes, and your mom
Speaker 1: looked at me and goes, this is your fault. You
Speaker 1: turned your fucking hobby into your career and now shaving.
Speaker 3: She can do it too. My dad used to have
Speaker 3: the same argument with my mom.
Speaker 2: He's like, you always want to be Barbarer streis saying,
Speaker 2: and it didn't work out. So I pushed it on
Speaker 2: Heather and my dad would write letters to my sorority house.
Speaker 2: I do all miss like the top ten reasons why
Speaker 2: he thinks I should pivot and go into the Air Force.
Speaker 2: And it was like number one got number two, you
Speaker 2: come from a long line of eighty eight ors number
Speaker 2: three like you look great at the uniform. And I realize, like,
Speaker 2: I'm not a parent, but I realized now, as you know,
Speaker 2: I watch my parents, I'm like, oh, parents just parented
Speaker 2: out of fear.
Speaker 3: Like they were just constantly trying, like, you know, we
Speaker 3: just want to.
Speaker 2: Make sure that you don't fuck it up because we
Speaker 2: at some point probably fucked our shit up. So I
Speaker 2: was always like, Dad, don't worry about me. Don't worry.
Speaker 2: I am going to figure it out. And it's been
Speaker 2: very bittersweet to have the success that I've had because
Speaker 2: my dad hasn't been here to see it. I lost
Speaker 2: my answer about ten years ago and everything started to
Speaker 2: click after it passed and I had wonderful relationship with
Speaker 2: my dad, even though he was always like please get
Speaker 2: in Dell Estate, like.
Speaker 3: Don't go into the show. So it's been like it's tough.
Speaker 2: I'd have all these iconic moments and like on tour,
Speaker 2: like playing Radio City, and I'm like, damn it, I
Speaker 2: wish the one person who's here to see it isn't here.
Speaker 2: But I have to just know that he's always me.
Speaker 2: There's always a probably my dad.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, yeah that I can. I can just feel
Speaker 1: that bittersweet thing because it is the it's the best,
Speaker 1: and oh how cool it would be for him to
Speaker 1: be able to see it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I imagine if my dad was alive, he would
Speaker 2: be running security. He'd be selling merch like he would
Speaker 2: be doing all about oh yeah, eating it up, taking
Speaker 2: photos of ladies outside the theater.
Speaker 1: Your dad running the merch table is like all that
Speaker 1: feels right to me. And my bones. I want my
Speaker 1: bones too, right in like in the next universe over
Speaker 1: I believe that it's happening. Yeah, oh my goodness. Well
Speaker 1: is that part of why you feel because I've heard
Speaker 1: you talk about how you feel like a late bloomer
Speaker 1: in your career because things really blew up, you know,
Speaker 1: after you turned thirty. Do you think that the the
Speaker 1: that sort of time feels particular for you too because
Speaker 1: of that loss? Because I think when you go through
Speaker 1: something like you know, losing a parent who you're so
Speaker 1: close to, or you know, someone who is your person,
Speaker 1: it's like there is a before and an after. It's
Speaker 1: such a marker of time. And because he hasn't been
Speaker 1: here to see some of this stuff, do you think
Speaker 1: that influence is that feeling?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean my twenties were the years where
Speaker 2: I was in New York and la hustling, grinding, doing
Speaker 2: the thing one woman shows, do an improv, doing stand up,
Speaker 2: all that, and then you know, I lost my dad
Speaker 2: caught like two years before I was thirty. And then
Speaker 2: I get into my thirties and then they listen, my
Speaker 2: point of view in my perspective just totally changed. My
Speaker 2: comedy was richer because I had, you know, comedy and tragedy.
Speaker 2: I'd gone through something so horrifically tragic to then just
Speaker 2: have a different point of view in perspective and.
Speaker 3: Just in life richer way.
Speaker 2: And I say, now like I have felt the worst
Speaker 2: feeling you can ever feel, So now when things are good,
Speaker 2: they feel even bigger and better. I don't know, it's
Speaker 2: an adulum of joy and sadness swings so wildly one
Speaker 2: way or the other, and so I feel like I
Speaker 2: appreciate shit a lot more. Yes, you know, I always say,
Speaker 2: like other people who've been through something traumatic like that,
Speaker 2: like losing a loved one far too young.
Speaker 3: We always find each other. We just all have a
Speaker 3: different perspective.
Speaker 2: And some days can be a little frustrating being around
Speaker 2: other folks who haven't experienced that. And that's not to
Speaker 2: their fault, like good for everybody still as their their
Speaker 2: core family around, but there are moments where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: just if you've been through it, you get it. You know,
Speaker 2: it's a different communication with other people, I think.
Speaker 1: And now a word from our sponsors who make this
Speaker 1: show possible. I have not lost my parents, for which
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful, but me and my whole community lost
Speaker 1: someone that was so important to us. I mean, it
Speaker 1: just it rocked us all so intensely, and I think
Speaker 1: the thing the biggest shift that it did for me,
Speaker 1: and I wonder if you feel this. I always used
Speaker 1: to repeat that cliche, and like cliches are so fucking annoying,
Speaker 1: But they're cliches because they're so true, right, Like that's
Speaker 1: why everyone says them. Everyone always is like, ah, life's
Speaker 1: too short. Life's too short to not try the thing,
Speaker 1: Life's too short to not be in lovela la. And
Speaker 1: when I went through that sort of grief, what I
Speaker 1: realized is life is too short, but life is also
Speaker 1: way too fucking long, because when you have to live
Speaker 1: without someone, I think you understand how blessed you are
Speaker 1: to be alive, but also how long life is going
Speaker 1: to be if you're lucky. And it really there was
Speaker 1: something about it that, rather than kind of rolling my
Speaker 1: eyes anytime somebody was, you know, going through their personal
Speaker 1: version of life is too short, like, it almost gave
Speaker 1: me a freedom back because there have been times since
Speaker 1: then that I have looked around and gone, life may
Speaker 1: be too short, but it's I'm still on this earth,
Speaker 1: and it is way too fucking long to be this unhappy,
Speaker 1: because if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't want to be
Speaker 1: stuck in this shitty job with this person who hits women,
Speaker 1: or stuck in this shitty relationship you know where I'm
Speaker 1: walking on eggshells in my own house like it don't.
Speaker 1: I can't explain it. It gave me this tenacity to
Speaker 1: like try my hardest and get to the end of
Speaker 1: the road. But if that road was a dead end,
Speaker 1: I'm turning around because I'm reclaiming my time.
Speaker 2: I fully hear this, and I think, especially as women we.
Speaker 3: In our age group too, we.
Speaker 2: Have to get so focused on doing the one thing
Speaker 2: and checking all these things off a list. And I
Speaker 2: have so many girlfriends who are in their early forties
Speaker 2: late thirties right now, who are pivoting in a wild direction,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, do it. Who gives a shit? Okay,
Speaker 2: you got the degree in XYZ. You're miserable.
Speaker 3: Life is to go.
Speaker 2: And so I'm like, you know, I talk about being
Speaker 2: a late bloomer in my career, but I'm like, fine,
Speaker 2: if tomorrow I had to do real estate, I would
Speaker 2: do real estate and I would like figure it out,
Speaker 2: you know, or whatever it is. It's life is too
Speaker 2: short and too long to be miserable. Yes, one thing
Speaker 2: with grief too. And you'll notice this.
Speaker 3: People say, oh, you know, it gets easier to time.
Speaker 2: I actually think you get so much harder with time,
Speaker 2: because now I sit back in my grief, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: now I haven't heard my dad's.
Speaker 3: Voice in ten years.
Speaker 2: I think the further you get away from it, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're a little bit more numb to it. But then
Speaker 2: you're like, oh god, that just grips me in a
Speaker 2: different way. It's like a it sits heavier on my
Speaker 2: chest because I realize how far away I'm from those
Speaker 2: those memories and experiences with my dad.
Speaker 3: I had a woman one day.
Speaker 2: She meant well, but she dm me and I put
Speaker 2: something up for my dad's birthday and she was like,
Speaker 2: I wish you would put, like, you know, more photos
Speaker 2: up of your dad. And I just responded to her.
Speaker 2: I said, hey, girl, I don't have any more photos
Speaker 2: of my dad, Like these are all the memories I have.
Speaker 2: Those memories are done, like I only have so many
Speaker 2: photos and then I've shown you them all and then
Speaker 2: they're done. And she was like, oh shit, I didn't
Speaker 2: even think about that. I'm like, yes, like like those memories,
Speaker 2: we're not making new memories, sweetheart. What do you want
Speaker 2: that's on spring break that.
Speaker 3: Hasn't happened in nine years?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so also too.
Speaker 2: Dealing with that. Have to just know that people will
Speaker 2: say the most ignorant shit. A lot of folks reach
Speaker 2: out to me, they're like, hey, I just lost a
Speaker 2: loved one. You know what do I how do I
Speaker 2: navigate it? And I say, give yourself grace, give other
Speaker 2: people grace, because they're going to say stupid shit to
Speaker 2: you because they're just ignorant. They haven't been through it.
Speaker 2: But if anybody says at any point at the funeral,
Speaker 2: years down the road or whatever, they're in a better
Speaker 2: place for everything happens for a reason, no, tell them
Speaker 2: to go themselves and like, and this is done. And
Speaker 2: then you never speak to that person again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you have to. I can't. I can't deal
Speaker 3: with this shit.
Speaker 1: No, we just no, thank you. Some things are just
Speaker 1: a tragedy and that's okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's okay, that's okay.
Speaker 1: Well, and you said something about how you know you
Speaker 1: feel like grief has sort of expanded your capacity for
Speaker 1: joy and it I will never forget in my in
Speaker 1: my twenties, it was a book I read in college
Speaker 1: that's like, I mean ancient. I think for fourteen hundred
Speaker 1: and fifteen hundreds era is considered ancient, right, poet, Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, Khalil Gibron, who wrote like this amazing kind
Speaker 1: of meditation on life, and I'm going to paraphrase because
Speaker 1: you know, I don't have fourteenth century poetry memorized, but
Speaker 1: he essentially says in this one chapter of the book
Speaker 1: that your capacity for joy is as large as you
Speaker 1: are carved out by sorrow, and like you said, the pendulum,
Speaker 1: and it's like it is. It's so emotional, but it's
Speaker 1: also kind of science, right, every action has an equal
Speaker 1: in opposing reaction, and there's something kind of profound to
Speaker 1: me about that where you're like, oh, it's like the
Speaker 1: most raw thing I feel in my heart and like
Speaker 1: what is a heart? What is a soul? And then
Speaker 1: on this other side there's this science to it and
Speaker 1: they meet somehow, and yes, I'm perhaps I'm more capable
Speaker 1: of holding more things because of this, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's like that to me, is is the silver lining.
Speaker 1: That's what I think people are trying to get at
Speaker 1: when they say dumb shit, like everything happens for a reason,
Speaker 1: and you're like, that's not the thing to say. The
Speaker 1: other the thing to say maybe is just I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry for this tragedy. And also I'm so glad you
Speaker 1: got to laugh with that person for as many years
Speaker 1: as you did.
Speaker 3: Amen.
Speaker 2: That's a great way to put it. I also feel that,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm lucky. I had twenty seven amazing years
Speaker 2: with an amazing daddy. My girlfriends still have, you know,
Speaker 2: troubled or strained relationships with their fathers. Yeah, And I
Speaker 2: don't try and push it on them, like you have
Speaker 2: to fix that because they're you know, everybody's going through
Speaker 2: their own shit.
Speaker 3: But I do.
Speaker 2: I have to be glass that full and say I
Speaker 2: had twenty seven great years with the greatest man ever.
Speaker 3: So like I feel richly blessed in that sense. And
Speaker 3: I am a.
Speaker 2: Wildly naturally joyful person. And even when I went through this,
Speaker 2: I'm like, what can I do. I can either let
Speaker 2: this cripple me and destroy me, and I can be
Speaker 2: mad at the world and I never get through this.
Speaker 2: Or I can pivot and turn this anger and sadness
Speaker 2: and somehow bring it back to joy and then live
Speaker 2: my life. That's what my dad would want, That's what
Speaker 2: I think everybody's loved ones would want. Yeah, I can't.
Speaker 2: He would be like, get your ass up, go do something,
Speaker 2: Go make someone laugh.
Speaker 3: Like, well, that was for yourself.
Speaker 1: Exactly right, and him him loving your comedy, I'm sure
Speaker 1: was also such a reminder like he he would be
Speaker 1: upset if you had given that up in your sadness.
Speaker 1: And I think it's so special and like even the
Speaker 1: way you talk about him, I wonder if you know
Speaker 1: this great relationship you got to have with your dad, Like,
Speaker 1: do you feel like that influenced the way you fell
Speaker 1: for your husband? Do you feel like you guys have
Speaker 1: such a solid relationship because you had a solid relationship
Speaker 1: modeled for you. Oh.
Speaker 2: Yes, And my dad was such a he loved he loved,
Speaker 2: loved being a girl dad.
Speaker 3: And you can still have a sense of confidence.
Speaker 2: I think in my sister and I I mean, I
Speaker 2: joked I was an overly confident kid because my dad
Speaker 2: was like, you can do anything.
Speaker 3: You're a McMahon, you can do anything. You would always
Speaker 3: say that. And when I met my husband, it was
Speaker 3: one like they kind of look alike. So I'm sure
Speaker 3: there's some thing there.
Speaker 2: But yes, my my husband reminds me so much of
Speaker 2: my dad in a great way. And when my husband
Speaker 2: and my dad met, which I feel very grateful that
Speaker 2: they had a beautiful relationship before my dad passed. But
Speaker 2: I just remember being like they were like two peas
Speaker 2: in a pod. And my husband and I were living
Speaker 2: in New York at the time, and he would come
Speaker 2: down and my dad would like steal him. He's like, well,
Speaker 2: Jeff and I are going to go do guy stuff
Speaker 2: all day, like they were best buts and so me
Speaker 2: them have a mutual respect for each other. Was also
Speaker 2: just like I knew I found the right one. And
Speaker 2: when my dad got sick, he died very quickly. From
Speaker 2: the day of diagnosis to the day of dad that
Speaker 2: was one week, so he was very and unfortunately he
Speaker 2: passed the pancreatic cancer. But we flew him to M
Speaker 2: d Anderson in Houston to get like, you know, the
Speaker 2: best care, and I feel very grateful to.
Speaker 3: Them that they did everything they could.
Speaker 2: I flew down and immediately asked my dad for his
Speaker 2: hand and ever my hand in marriage.
Speaker 3: It was very sweet.
Speaker 2: So like, you know, I feel blessed that they had
Speaker 2: that moment together.
Speaker 1: You know, that's so special.
Speaker 3: He is my father down to Like.
Speaker 2: If they both didn't have a Lumberjack breakfast like full
Speaker 2: bacon egg, then like the day could not start, you know,
Speaker 2: oh my god, the drama.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But my husband's great too because he allows me to
Speaker 2: holy be myself. He is like, go, go be as
Speaker 2: ridiculous on stage as you want, just be you. He's
Speaker 2: never once told me to like tone it down, you know,
Speaker 2: to volume a little lower. He's like, keep going, And
Speaker 2: that's why I know I married the right person.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. And you know what, it really does take
Speaker 1: a person who has a healthy relationship to their own
Speaker 1: ego to not say, hey, maybe don't share this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe don't tell the world about this part of our relationship,
Speaker 1: or or make this a joke that amps up this
Speaker 1: fight we had or whatever. It's like, he has to
Speaker 1: be very emotionally healthy to be like, oh, yeah, go
Speaker 1: make fun of me and everyone. You know.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: As I've gotten older too, I could give a shit
Speaker 2: where you got a college degree. What you do for
Speaker 2: a living. Emotional in diligence to me is the biggest
Speaker 2: turn on everything. It makes me horny. I'm like, you
Speaker 2: can sit down, have an adult conversation. We can like
Speaker 2: you know, it doesn't even have to be dramatic, but
Speaker 2: we can talk about our feelings and like we can
Speaker 2: agree to disagree, but be adults about this.
Speaker 3: I'm let's do it. I mean, and you know, there
Speaker 3: are aspects in comedy.
Speaker 2: There there are things where I'll be like, hey, are
Speaker 2: you cool if I talk about this or whatever, and
Speaker 2: we have a conversation about it. But he is just
Speaker 2: so secure in himself. He's like, Yeah, somebody's gonna relate
Speaker 2: to it. It's gonna make someone laugh, it'll make someone think,
Speaker 2: surely someone's going through the same situation. So very open
Speaker 2: and supportive of me going out there, and you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes ripping him a new asshole for.
Speaker 3: The sake of the most buddies of you.
Speaker 2: When I was on a press tour for my last
Speaker 2: special that came out, and the specials called Breadwinner, and there.
Speaker 1: Was a whole like I was just gonna ask you about.
Speaker 2: This, Yes, the whole arc about it about how I
Speaker 2: make more money than him a man. Every single interview
Speaker 2: they were like, how does Jeff feel about this? How
Speaker 2: does your husband feel about you talking about this? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, every male comedian since the dawn of time
Speaker 2: has been doing this and you don't ask how their
Speaker 2: wives feel about this shit, how they're about them making
Speaker 2: fun of them on stage. Why is it all of
Speaker 2: a sudden, like you know, you're peppering me about it.
Speaker 2: So I finally was just like, Jeff, Fine, he's playing
Speaker 2: golf right now.
Speaker 3: You know he didn't give a shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, You're like, they're like, Jeff, Jeff is this generation's
Speaker 1: kept woman and he likes it. Yeah, because he still
Speaker 1: gets to benefit from being a man.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Something I think is so cool about you guys is
Speaker 1: that you met before your career totally blew up. You know,
Speaker 1: the specials and the tours and the things. What is
Speaker 1: that like for you? You know? I guess I ask this,
Speaker 1: I'll be really vulnerable and say why, because I've once
Speaker 1: or twice or a handful of times in my life
Speaker 1: been like, oh, this person who has said the right
Speaker 1: things is drawn to the wrong things. Ah. I've sort
Speaker 1: of had the bamboozol moment, and you know, we live,
Speaker 1: we learned. It's what therapy's for. But I find it
Speaker 1: really at this stage in my life being able to
Speaker 1: look back in that you know, twenty twenty hindsight vision, YadA, YadA.
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, I had no idea what I was
Speaker 1: in for when the show I started at twenty one,
Speaker 1: blew up, you know, and we were removed, which you know,
Speaker 1: gave us our own set of like high school round
Speaker 1: two ridiculousness. But I've never, like I've never in my
Speaker 1: whole adult life. I've not since high school or I
Speaker 1: guess college gone on quote unquote anonymous date. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: so like, I don't know. I love y'all's relationship, and
Speaker 1: I can feel how good it is, and I wonder
Speaker 1: what's it like for you to have had him before this,
Speaker 1: what's it like for him to navigate the changes? And
Speaker 1: how do you do that together? How do you sit
Speaker 1: down and say, all right, we're going to talk it
Speaker 1: out and we're going to be great because we love
Speaker 1: each other, and sometimes we'll disagree, Like how does this
Speaker 1: whole thing work when you've been on this roller coaster
Speaker 1: ride together.
Speaker 2: I feel very grateful that I did meet Jeff when
Speaker 2: I did, which was you know, we were twenty three
Speaker 2: years old or in the early days living in New York,
Speaker 2: because he was always my champion and even when you know,
Speaker 2: it's interesting we started dating I'm living in New York
Speaker 2: for like a year and a half, and then I
Speaker 2: told him I sat him down one day and I said, hey,
Speaker 2: I got to move to la because Joe Rivers told
Speaker 2: me to move del like trying Italian restaurant on the
Speaker 2: Upper East Side. He's like, I knew this is gonna happen,
Speaker 2: but at no point, like we never broke up. He
Speaker 2: was like, go full forward, go ahead, my child, Like
Speaker 2: he said, I don't ever want to get in the
Speaker 2: way of your dreams and for you to resent me
Speaker 2: down the line. So even though we were long distance
Speaker 2: for a long time, we just kept supporting each other.
Speaker 2: I kept supporting him business, and again we did not
Speaker 2: know what when lightning was going to strike, but I
Speaker 2: never once questioned his support on what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3: And I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2: There were moments a couple of his friends sat him
Speaker 2: down and we're like, hey, how long are you gonna
Speaker 2: support Heather kind of chasing this comedy dream like it's
Speaker 2: it hasn't worked out yet, Like really, like are you
Speaker 2: when are you gonna have the honest conversation with her
Speaker 2: that maybe she needs to pivot? And sure enough, like
Speaker 2: nine months later, everything took off. And he told me
Speaker 2: that two years later and he's like, I never told
Speaker 2: you this, but I want you to know. I told
Speaker 2: him to all like fuck off. He's like, no, that's
Speaker 2: my girl. She's gonna be fine.
Speaker 3: I feel grateful that Jeff. Really we were always each other.
Speaker 3: There's champion.
Speaker 2: And I used to make a joke when I would
Speaker 2: be doing comedy shows in a basement somewhere in like Queen's.
Speaker 3: You know, there's like four people in the audience.
Speaker 2: My husband would be there in a suit from his
Speaker 2: like corporate gig, and he'd be on the front row,
Speaker 2: and everybody thought he was my manager. And then they
Speaker 2: were like, wow, your manager is so dialed in.
Speaker 3: On your career. I'm like, no, I blow that guy.
Speaker 1: Don't it is?
Speaker 2: You know, it's been interesting now because when through comedies, especially,
Speaker 2: I share so much of my relationship and listen.
Speaker 3: A lot of jokes.
Speaker 2: But there are moments where people will say certain things
Speaker 2: to him or I know, he didn't sign up for
Speaker 2: his life to be in a microscope, but there's so
Speaker 2: much bullshit out there that there are days where he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: don't go on Reddit. This is the dumbishit I've ever heard,
Speaker 2: or don't oh, don't read that DM, and you're like, guys,
Speaker 2: this is comedy.
Speaker 3: Everybody piped down.
Speaker 2: You know, there are moments where we're just have to
Speaker 2: both have to drown out the noise.
Speaker 3: But yeah, he's my buddy. Bit we're right or die together.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: God forbidding where to get hit by a bus tomorrow,
Speaker 3: I'm done, Like, I'm good, Yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 2: I'll get it totally. Well more French bulldogs. Live on
Speaker 2: a commune with my girlfriends and all their kids, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Going, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're like, no, I've got the one.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I love that. I think that's so special.
Speaker 1: And now a word from our sponsors. Girl, I get it,
Speaker 1: and I'm thank you even for saying it, because sometimes
Speaker 1: when you're in this crazy, zany world, I think you
Speaker 1: can forget that other people are dealing with the craziest,
Speaker 1: zaniest parts of it. And yeah, there are just days
Speaker 1: that I'm like, oh, I can't go on the internet today,
Speaker 1: like this is kooky. A friend sent me something recently
Speaker 1: and was like, this is so fucking dumb, you know,
Speaker 1: and it's like from some gossip site blah blah, And
Speaker 1: I was like, first of all, why are you looking?
Speaker 1: And second of all, I'm going to say this with
Speaker 1: all the love I can muster, why the fuck would
Speaker 1: you send this to me? Because I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to see it. I can go about my day
Speaker 1: and not see this dumb shit. And the funniest part
Speaker 1: was to me that like, there was all this speculation
Speaker 1: honestly just about a dumb inside joke a friend made
Speaker 1: to me, because sometimes if you don't laugh about something,
Speaker 1: you know at the time you'll cry. And I so
Speaker 1: badly wanted to clap back at this person and be like,
Speaker 1: tell me you don't have a sense of humor without
Speaker 1: saying I don't have a single cell in my body
Speaker 1: capable of humor. And then I was like, what's the
Speaker 1: fucking point. I'm not even going to bother engaging. But
Speaker 1: it's like, it is so weird when you're just outliving
Speaker 1: your life and people make a story out of everything
Speaker 1: that's actually it's it's their story, it's not yours, it
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with you.
Speaker 3: Reddit it's wild and you're like, wait, what I mean,
Speaker 3: it's like cuckoo their hands. I'm like, guys, I'm exhausted.
Speaker 3: I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2: I don't know how y'all came up with these theories that, yeah,
Speaker 2: wearing a blue sweater for three days in a row
Speaker 2: and therefore like durable disease.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what is happening?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was getting bullied for a minute. Somebody was like,
Speaker 2: your eyelash extensions are horrible. And then finally one day
Speaker 2: I was like, oh god, they are they are.
Speaker 1: You're like, you know what, you know, you could have
Speaker 1: said it a little differently, but you did me as solid.
Speaker 1: Redditors noted thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But for the most part, because I do comedy, people
Speaker 2: are like, you're my buddy. And that's what's fun is
Speaker 2: being able to talk about things that I know gals
Speaker 2: are having private conversations with with their girlfriends, and then
Speaker 2: being able to explain it on stage and to have
Speaker 2: that moment where people in the audience like, oh, fuck,
Speaker 2: that's what that's what we've been feeling. That's exactly it's
Speaker 2: the community feels really good, and that's when you know
Speaker 2: you're in the pocket. I'm like, you have thought exactly
Speaker 2: what I'm feeling and saying right now, And I like
Speaker 2: people to leave my show being like, oh shit, never
Speaker 2: never thought of it like that, or or that was
Speaker 2: right on the money.
Speaker 3: That feels very good.
Speaker 1: Okay, So how do you think about that? Because I
Speaker 1: think from the outside, you know, I watch a special
Speaker 1: or I come to a show and it's all I mean,
Speaker 1: it's tight, you've got a tight sixty or a tight ninety.
Speaker 1: But building to that and knowing when you leave a
Speaker 1: show having a hunch based on audience reaction, what they're
Speaker 1: going to walk out thinking about, how do you do?
Speaker 1: To me? It feels like a great big math problem essentially,
Speaker 1: like doing a special, how do you do the math
Speaker 1: and figure out I want to talk about this. I
Speaker 1: want to hit this topic, but I want to do
Speaker 1: it in a way that'll make them think, maybe not
Speaker 1: make them mad, Like what's the recipe for you this far?
Speaker 2: In?
Speaker 3: It's trial and error too.
Speaker 2: I mean, when you're working a tour, I go out and,
Speaker 2: like some people like to work, run five minutes, and
Speaker 2: run ten minutes and fifteen, and then they build to
Speaker 2: the hour.
Speaker 3: I'm a sociopath.
Speaker 2: I like to go out on the road with what
Speaker 2: I'm gonna guess is probably ninety minutes, and then I
Speaker 2: scale back from there and I'll start a tour and
Speaker 2: you know, be running all this shitting clubs. But I
Speaker 2: like to run the full hour and then I'll go
Speaker 2: and separate those little bits and then run it like that,
Speaker 2: which is not it's insane, but I think because I'm
Speaker 2: an old theater kid, I only know how to work
Speaker 2: in like full you do the.
Speaker 3: Play, I do the play, I go, I.
Speaker 1: Got It feels scary, but I know.
Speaker 3: Then I scale back.
Speaker 2: But you know, running stuff in clubs is the best
Speaker 2: because I'm just out there and I'm all right, that
Speaker 2: did not work, and you just say it out loud.
Speaker 3: Nope, yep, that worked. Then I scale back from there.
Speaker 2: But like for my first special, it was called Son
Speaker 2: I Never Had, so I knew that the whole idea
Speaker 2: was going to be about my relationship with my dad
Speaker 2: as a kid, explaining who I was. This was the
Speaker 2: first special for people to like understand who I was
Speaker 2: out the gate if you were going on Netflix and
Speaker 2: your like, who is this person? And I wanted to
Speaker 2: explain my relationship with my dad, the humor behind how
Speaker 2: we passed, and that was kind of like my first.
Speaker 3: Little tea up for folks.
Speaker 2: And then the special bread Winner was all about this like, okay,
Speaker 2: now I've made it this over the top Italian wedding
Speaker 2: that I had this thirty day honeymoon. How they got
Speaker 2: into my head, all these things that happened, and I
Speaker 2: wanted it women to walk away and feel like, oh shit,
Speaker 2: we're feeling this too. And the next hour that I'm
Speaker 2: working on, I'm talking a lot more about politics, which
Speaker 2: I had never touched on before, and I'm just talking
Speaker 2: about that, like, you know, that feeling as a Southern woman.
Speaker 2: We're all sitting in this weird world and trying to
Speaker 2: justify things in our brain and have hard conversations with
Speaker 2: our girlfriends and while also going out there and you know,
Speaker 2: like trying to make sure our extensions aren't falling out
Speaker 2: and our tits are.
Speaker 1: To our that's where we're you know, you know what,
Speaker 1: we can do it all.
Speaker 3: We can do it all.
Speaker 1: We can do it all, honey. That particularly, I think
Speaker 1: when you have something to say about politics, it's like
Speaker 1: people suddenly think you're no fun. Yeah, they think it's
Speaker 1: your whole personality. And I'm like, ye'ah, I'm wild, I'm
Speaker 1: so fun. But I will absolutely, you know, take Mitch
Speaker 1: McConnell to task over his trash policy. And I really
Speaker 1: do believe. I think, especially when you are an entertainer,
Speaker 1: a performer. It's because you love people. You love people
Speaker 1: and their stories. You love being able to represent people.
Speaker 1: You love being able to gather people. You love being
Speaker 1: able to help people feel seen. And so when people
Speaker 1: are like, why are all you actors so fucking political,
Speaker 1: I'm like, because we have to be, because our whole
Speaker 1: job is to love people and tell their stories. How
Speaker 1: can I look at what's happening to people in the
Speaker 1: world and be silent?
Speaker 2: And also, like, my job as a comedian is to
Speaker 2: take the things that are going on in the world,
Speaker 2: observe them, and either help us work.
Speaker 3: Through it, giggle about it, or go what the look?
Speaker 3: That is my entire job.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and you know I've been doing this new
Speaker 2: bid about how like a lot of Maga moms couldn't
Speaker 2: believe that I didn't vote for Trump because on paper
Speaker 2: I look like the typical maga mom blonde.
Speaker 3: Hair extensions, you know, from the South.
Speaker 2: Went to the University of Mississippi, and they had felt betrayed,
Speaker 2: And I was like, whoa, what has happened here that
Speaker 2: I was not clearly speaking up up enough for y'all
Speaker 2: to think that I was voted for Trump. But the
Speaker 2: reception is great, because I mean, you got again as
Speaker 2: a pendulum swing, so you got to make fun of
Speaker 2: both sides.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I say that.
Speaker 2: There are moments where I'm like, God, because I live
Speaker 2: in Georgia, am I gonna have to cage fight Marjorie
Speaker 2: Taylor Green?
Speaker 3: I may have to at some point, for.
Speaker 1: You might have to. We might have to. She you know,
Speaker 1: she was being insane the other day and I posted
Speaker 1: something about it, and somebody goes, well, if you have
Speaker 1: this kind of heat for her, where's your heat for
Speaker 1: Jasmine Crockett? And I that, honey, Jasmine's just matching their volume.
Speaker 1: And she went yeah, and I was like, we're I'm
Speaker 1: I in the year twenty twenty five. Am done going high?
Speaker 1: I did it for a long time. I grew up
Speaker 1: in the young Michelle Obama school of politics. That was
Speaker 1: my jam. And you know what now, I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you want to go low, meet me in the gutter.
Speaker 1: I've come from a long line of Italians in New Jersey.
Speaker 1: Meet me in the gutter. Let's go.
Speaker 2: I feel the exact same way. And that's, you know,
Speaker 2: my job in comedy. I'm like, I'm talking about the
Speaker 2: things that again, all these girls are talking about other
Speaker 2: their country clubs. So they're talking about, you know, at
Speaker 2: the PTA meeting whatever. I know, I'm going to make
Speaker 2: you sit and have a and think about it in
Speaker 2: a different way because we have to like, why are
Speaker 2: we not as women having these conversations.
Speaker 1: No, we have to, Oh, this is why we really
Speaker 1: need to do our show.
Speaker 3: We need to do our show.
Speaker 1: We have to do a show.
Speaker 3: We've got to. Let's do it. We'll get okay for.
Speaker 1: The friends at home. Sometime times I forget that people
Speaker 1: listen to this and I'm like, oh good, we're just
Speaker 1: having like a glass of wine on zoom and we
Speaker 1: don't have wine currently listeners, but I wish we did.
Speaker 1: It's a little too early, but you know, next time
Speaker 1: I am talking about how it was. I think two
Speaker 1: years ago at the big Elton John Aids Foundation fundraiser
Speaker 1: that coincides with the Oscars, we'd had a couple of
Speaker 1: tequilas and decided we were going to do a TV
Speaker 1: show together, and we got to figure out what.
Speaker 3: It is we with it.
Speaker 1: We have no idea what the show is, but we
Speaker 1: were like, oh, we want to go to work together
Speaker 1: every day.
Speaker 2: This would be fun and my favorite thing is figuring
Speaker 2: out that creative And I think because I write stand up,
Speaker 2: I love the pitch like your old school actress where
Speaker 2: you go in and probably crush an audition.
Speaker 3: I am so bad at audition.
Speaker 2: I can let me do the sales of it, let
Speaker 2: me go in and razzle dazzle the network, and then
Speaker 2: just show up on set.
Speaker 3: But don't make me audition.
Speaker 1: Auditions are also so weird because your whole job as
Speaker 1: an actor is to make a space and a relationship
Speaker 1: feel like yours, and then you do an audition like
Speaker 1: this in front of a fucking sheet with no human
Speaker 1: and someone who the whole time they're reading with you
Speaker 1: god bless the casting director, but like they're reading on
Speaker 1: the paper, and you're like, but the whole way I
Speaker 1: do my job is to connect with someone and we
Speaker 1: have a beat and we have a little high moment
Speaker 1: and then we both giggle, and none of that can
Speaker 1: happen in an audition.
Speaker 2: No, And I have this theory that I swear by
Speaker 2: that all of my self tapes that I and I'm
Speaker 2: always reading with like my husband or my mom and
Speaker 2: my basement, I'm like, these never got to the casting director.
Speaker 2: They never got to the producers. They are sitting in
Speaker 2: a vault somewhere and at my funeral, it will be
Speaker 2: like like a.
Speaker 3: Cruel, practical joke. These auditions.
Speaker 1: That's your episode of punk. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like that sweet sweet girl she thought she was auditioning.
Speaker 1: That sweet girl from Mississippi.
Speaker 3: That's sweet Southern Bale.
Speaker 2: She thought she was auditioning, but really we were just
Speaker 2: pulling one big prank on her.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, God, why am I not?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, jobs, You're like, what the fuck is
Speaker 1: going on here?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, I have this question for you
Speaker 1: because we don't know what our show is going to be,
Speaker 1: but I do think about things I want to watch
Speaker 1: you do, which is you know, fun for me as
Speaker 1: a fan and a friend.
Speaker 3: I love this.
Speaker 1: What award show would you want to host if you could?
Speaker 1: Because I think you need to host an award show?
Speaker 2: Well, I am a TV nerd, so I would love
Speaker 2: to do the Emmys. Ooh okay, yeah, I mean Nikki
Speaker 2: did an incredible job at the Globe.
Speaker 1: She was so good.
Speaker 3: Conan was phenomenal at the Oscars. He's coming back. But
Speaker 3: I think the Emmys would be really really fun.
Speaker 2: Oh and Chelsea crushes what did she do the sad
Speaker 2: Yes critics Choice critics Choice, Yes. I think doing the
Speaker 2: Emmys would be insane. Really Okay, I've been, you know,
Speaker 2: doing some of the red carpet stuff allah Joan Rivers,
Speaker 2: but I'm really only getting my footing there because it's
Speaker 2: it's that is actually out of performing ninety minutes of memory,
Speaker 2: I stand up being you know, doing sales pitches whatever.
Speaker 2: The podcasting. Doing the Red Carpet is the hardest gig
Speaker 2: I have ever had.
Speaker 1: It is so scary to me thinking about that.
Speaker 2: You have a producer in your ear, you're doing quick
Speaker 2: changes live on air, you have cards, their publicists are
Speaker 2: saying don't ask them about this, or ask them about this,
Speaker 2: or make sure you hit this note. And you have
Speaker 2: thirty seconds to talk to Arianna Grande, who's just like
Speaker 2: floating through the air because she's such an angel, and
Speaker 2: you're like, what is happening? Yeah, a gnarly gig. People
Speaker 2: don't realize how hard doing live hosting is.
Speaker 1: I yeah, I don't know how you do it. I'm
Speaker 1: endlessly impressed. This is kind of my world. I like
Speaker 1: to cozy and have a deep talk and giggle and
Speaker 1: you know, get into stuff. The quickness of a carpet interview,
Speaker 1: like it stresses me out having to answer the questions.
Speaker 1: If I had to ask them and do this in
Speaker 1: short form, I actually think I'd have a panic attack.
Speaker 2: I get I only done a you know, award season
Speaker 2: for like two years now, and every time we wrap
Speaker 2: and it's like and the you know, the Emmys are
Speaker 2: live on NBC and I hear that and they're like,
Speaker 2: can you collapse?
Speaker 3: I literally hit the deck.
Speaker 2: And half the time I'm wearing a pair of birkin
Speaker 2: stocks because I'm taller than every guy in.
Speaker 3: Hollywood, so I have to like amazing, you know, they're
Speaker 3: oadstanding on an apple box and I'm like down on
Speaker 3: the ground and I'm just like, somebody get me a
Speaker 3: glass of white wine. I can't.
Speaker 2: That was the wildest three hours. And yeah, it's it's
Speaker 2: an adrenaline rush. It is really wild. Yeah, I kind
Speaker 2: of find my flooding there with being more funny and
Speaker 2: being myself. But you're also like, okay, I've got to
Speaker 2: hit I gotta hit the notes, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's a time. Oh my god, I'm blessed.
Speaker 1: Let's manifest the Emmys. I think you need to do
Speaker 1: another drawing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like event.
Speaker 2: And now now I will say so in my office
Speaker 2: and you can't see all them. I have all my
Speaker 2: vision boards up.
Speaker 1: Is that what those are?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So back here is like a vision board and I
Speaker 2: have them all around on the other sides of my office.
Speaker 3: It is really wild.
Speaker 2: I started vision boarding back in twenty eighteen, and I
Speaker 2: did it one day. I was hungover. It was New
Speaker 2: Year's Day. I saw somebody do it on Instagram.
Speaker 3: My husband was watching football.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to take a gummy and
Speaker 2: I'm going to make some vision boards because I'm visual
Speaker 2: and I like to scrap book and doodle.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: A couple of years later everything started to pop off.
Speaker 2: So now I've made the early thing where I make
Speaker 2: these vision boards and it's not you know. All I
Speaker 2: do is I basically have this conversation with myself. What
Speaker 2: do I want? What do I want the future to
Speaker 2: look like? What am I asking of myself? What am
Speaker 2: I asking the universe to connect for me? And it
Speaker 2: is wild, like the things that have come true by
Speaker 2: making these vision boards.
Speaker 1: Wait, I love that. Can I come over and make
Speaker 1: one with you?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I'm so into this.
Speaker 3: I'm doing a.
Speaker 2: Comedy cruise here in two weeks where I'm taking a
Speaker 2: bunch of fans on an Origin cruise ship and we're
Speaker 2: doing a vision board party. I'm like, what I'm telling you,
Speaker 2: if you write it down, will come true. No.
Speaker 1: My friend Skuy says this all the time. We did
Speaker 1: a show together a couple of years ago and I
Speaker 1: was planning something on Pinterest and the thing I planned
Speaker 1: looked exactly like the Pinterest board, but better. And she
Speaker 1: was like, do you not understand when you're helping a
Speaker 1: friend design a house on Pinterest, or you're doing these
Speaker 1: mood boards that you make for characters you're vision boarding.
Speaker 1: She was like, look at how powerful you are at manifesting.
Speaker 1: You actually have to start applying that to you and
Speaker 1: what you want, not just to what you're helping create
Speaker 1: out in the world. And I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm so inspired by her, and I'm also
Speaker 1: like a little scared, so I want to try, No,
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 3: There's nothing to be scared about.
Speaker 2: I mean you, to me, it's a conversation with your
Speaker 2: inner self saying what do I expect from myself in
Speaker 2: this life?
Speaker 3: It's not just about putting fancy.
Speaker 2: Cars and big houses, and you know, I went up
Speaker 2: not go do this, but man, dammit, I've I've had
Speaker 2: things check off the vision board down like throw pillows
Speaker 2: on a couch where I'm like, oh shit, I have
Speaker 2: those chairs, I have that lamp, Like what is this?
Speaker 1: That is so funny?
Speaker 2: But I really it's all also too, I think because
Speaker 2: when I was a little kid, you know, back to
Speaker 2: the book that I wrote in the fourth grade or
Speaker 2: the story that I was saying, I always saw a
Speaker 2: vision of what exactly I wanted things to look like
Speaker 2: and what I want.
Speaker 3: And so it's always been that.
Speaker 2: Kind of quiet voice inside of myself that's like, no,
Speaker 2: you know what path you want to be on, you
Speaker 2: know what you want, you know what you're expecting of
Speaker 2: your life. I love that, and I have a visual reminder.
Speaker 2: I look up at the wall and I'm like, oh, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: you know what. I need to get back to that
Speaker 2: because that's something that I put down as a goal
Speaker 2: for myself.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's really that feels powerful.
Speaker 3: Is powerful, you know.
Speaker 1: And now a word from our wonderful sponsors. It's interesting
Speaker 1: too to think about that drawing you showed me at
Speaker 1: the top of the hour. You know, you standing on
Speaker 1: a stage in front of an audience. It's it's what
Speaker 1: you do. I mean, you're on tour right now. You're
Speaker 1: on your bamboozled tour.
Speaker 3: On the bamboozled tour. Yeh.
Speaker 1: By the way, that's probably why I said that word earlier.
Speaker 1: It's like, in my subconscious, what is this tour about
Speaker 1: for our friends at home? And then I just really
Speaker 1: want to know what your favorite part of touring is
Speaker 1: this tour is about?
Speaker 3: Oh god, what is it about? It's about everything. Oh,
Speaker 3: there's a lot in that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we got a hair flip.
Speaker 2: She's thinking, it's about how one I'm constantly bamboozling myself.
Speaker 2: As women, we have a lot of outside noise that
Speaker 2: we end up getting bamboozled about. The dream is a bamboozlement.
Speaker 2: The expectations on us are a bamboozlement. And I just
Speaker 2: find a really ridiculous way of connecting how we have
Speaker 2: also done this to ourselves. And my favorite part of touring, honestly,
Speaker 2: stand up is so fun because you know, in this business,
Speaker 2: we developed which we are going to develop our show,
Speaker 2: but we dive bos. You have to wait for so
Speaker 2: many yeses, and you hear so many news stand up
Speaker 2: is immediate. I get up on stage no in ten seconds,
Speaker 2: whether they like it or they don't.
Speaker 3: And I love that check of let's go.
Speaker 2: And when you get that energy from a live audience,
Speaker 2: there is nothing better. Like I always said, I want
Speaker 2: to do multi cams because I you know, I'm a
Speaker 2: theater kid. I want that live audience. I want that
Speaker 2: immediate reaction. It feels so good to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, I would love that.
Speaker 2: And be with my friends is great. I've got a
Speaker 2: great grew around me and we just have fun. And
Speaker 2: like to say that I've seen America, I've toured in Australia.
Speaker 2: Like to go to places, touch people's hands and be like,
Speaker 2: you know, thank you for being here. There's just the
Speaker 2: human connection is incredible.
Speaker 3: It really love that.
Speaker 1: I love that. And then what was the impetus behind
Speaker 1: the podcast? Because absolutely not. It is comedy in a way,
Speaker 1: but it's also a place I think where you get
Speaker 1: to be your whole self, if not just your performer self.
Speaker 1: What led you to starting that and why in the
Speaker 1: world did you start a podcast while you're also on
Speaker 1: a tour. Do you just love to torture yourself.
Speaker 2: I really do listen. My entire team is like, shall
Speaker 2: we put too much on our plate? And again I
Speaker 2: bamboozled myself. The podcast I started years ago because I
Speaker 2: wanted to have this like call to action. Okay, people
Speaker 2: could call in and then I would give them like
Speaker 2: horrific unsolicited life advice. I listen to some other podcasts
Speaker 2: where they're actually like trying to fix people's problems.
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, if you call in, I'm going to
Speaker 3: give you a sarcastic response, Oh my god. Love. And
Speaker 3: then it's also.
Speaker 2: I mean, my therapist would say, like, again, you're over
Speaker 2: sharing too much on your podcast.
Speaker 3: But it is just a it's almost like a brain
Speaker 3: dump for me.
Speaker 2: Every week I hear what other people are going through,
Speaker 2: I brain dump what I'm going through, and it's just
Speaker 2: such a part of my week where I'm giggling to myself.
Speaker 3: I'm my hour straight at just.
Speaker 2: The insanity of humanity of yeah us just trying to
Speaker 2: get through each day and so much joy. But am
Speaker 2: I doing a lot? Yes, Yes, I am doing a lot.
Speaker 2: I am doing a lot right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to come and give bad advice on
Speaker 1: your podcast. That feels so fun.
Speaker 3: Love to have you, I please on the podcast we
Speaker 3: would love Oh I love that.
Speaker 1: Years ago, I did Anna Faris' podcast and we got
Speaker 1: a really sweet question from someone and yeah, we were
Speaker 1: trying to like give great advice. But I also think
Speaker 1: purposefully giving ridiculous advice feels fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, sometimes there are a lighthearted moment or
Speaker 2: like tender moments and I've cried so yeah on this
Speaker 2: podcast by myself, where I listen back and I'm like.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, what did I have a breakdown?
Speaker 1: Less?
Speaker 2: But you know, it's all about human connection and the
Speaker 2: fact totally believe and trust me with their stories.
Speaker 3: It's funny, though. I do tell the girl is all
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, y'all, if you have done something illegal,
Speaker 2: do not call into the podcast when you're drunk and
Speaker 2: then let us know. Oh because I will delete it.
Speaker 2: But quit telling me where the bodies are buried.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you got to protect yourselves a little bit. Ladies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well you are.
Speaker 1: So known, I mean not just on the show, everywhere
Speaker 1: for your for your hot takes. What's your hottest take
Speaker 1: this week?
Speaker 3: What do you got? What's my hottest take?
Speaker 2: Well, listen, My hottest take this week is the world
Speaker 2: on fire and we are just trying to keep our
Speaker 2: head above water. So every day, my hottest take is
Speaker 2: protect your mental well being, because if you consume shit
Speaker 2: all day long, it will make you nuts. And we
Speaker 2: still have to live each day to the fullest because again,
Speaker 2: like you said earlier, life is short, but it's also
Speaker 2: very long. So yeah, the best you can with the
Speaker 2: people around you and take care of the bele that
Speaker 2: you love. We're not going to fix everything tomorrow. But
Speaker 2: I've had moments where I will consume so much and
Speaker 2: it will make me spiral and it will be crazy,
Speaker 2: and I'll watch something backstage and then I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: now i gotta go back on stage and make everybody
Speaker 2: feel positive and giggle. And I have to take moments
Speaker 2: where I'm like, I got to tune it out for
Speaker 2: a minute, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody's got to take your their mental health.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm learning to do the same. And i
Speaker 1: feel like I've also finally hit a point where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm guys, admittedly, I'm not an expert at everything. No
Speaker 1: one is.
Speaker 3: I am not.
Speaker 1: I am no longer willing to feel pressured into having
Speaker 1: a take if I'm like, this is not my job.
Speaker 1: It's just not my job. I'm going to do the
Speaker 1: best I can, and there will be mental health breaks
Speaker 1: and there will be days when I don't do this.
Speaker 1: And even for me, something I've tried to do consciously
Speaker 1: lately is I do the you know, the signal boosting,
Speaker 1: the news sharing that do you know about this? Call
Speaker 1: your senators about that, this bill is up? This is
Speaker 1: really important. I'm sharing all that stuff more like a broadcaster.
Speaker 1: I'm sharing it in my stories every day, so it's timely.
Speaker 1: But I'm really trying to keep what I put it
Speaker 1: up on a grid happy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I.
Speaker 1: Feel like we need it. And for me, beginning to
Speaker 1: separate and balance my life, sharing is going to be
Speaker 1: my life and the news shit, I'm going to share
Speaker 1: like the news it's on and if you miss it,
Speaker 1: go find it somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's how I feel too as a comic,
Speaker 2: like I have to we have to talk about these
Speaker 2: uncomfortable conversations and I want you to leave laughing, and
Speaker 2: also like it makes you think, you know, it's even
Speaker 2: in comedy, it's topical, and you have to keep moving
Speaker 2: and things are changing rapidly every day. But there are
Speaker 2: moments where I'm just like, all right, we're going to
Speaker 2: say it, we're gonna giggle, we're gonna pull it apart,
Speaker 2: we're going to figure it out, and then we're going
Speaker 2: to put it to bed and we have to walk
Speaker 2: away and just be like, we're gonna make it, We're.
Speaker 3: Gonna be okay exactly, We're all gonna go nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and I think balance in general, like that's
Speaker 1: something I'm really working on. I'm really working on understanding
Speaker 1: that I have an irrational sense of time. I really
Speaker 1: think I can get way more done in a day
Speaker 1: than as humanly possible. So I'm working on bringing down
Speaker 1: my bamboozling of myself that I'm trying to bring down
Speaker 1: the volume on the daily to do list so that
Speaker 1: I can actually be better at the things I'm doing.
Speaker 2: I love that one of the things on my vision
Speaker 2: board was like it says less stressed, RESTful, and what
Speaker 2: does it say, Oh, replenished. Because I realized love a replenished,
Speaker 2: love a replenish I would burn myself out so bad
Speaker 2: and say yes to everything, and then one shitty friend,
Speaker 2: I'm a shitty wife, I'm in a bad mood when
Speaker 2: I come home, and I was like, what are we
Speaker 2: doing here if I don't actually start physically taking care
Speaker 2: of myself saying yes, and you know, yeah, some people
Speaker 2: may call me a grandma some days because I can't
Speaker 2: go out and do all the things I used to do,
Speaker 2: But I'm like, I would.
Speaker 3: Well take care of myself.
Speaker 2: So then when we spend my love language's quality time,
Speaker 2: I want to be in a good mood and be
Speaker 2: there for you and not be just a burnt out
Speaker 2: bitch all the time.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I don't want to sit at dinner feeling
Speaker 1: like a shell of a human. Yes, is that do
Speaker 1: you think that recalibration? Would you say that right now?
Speaker 1: That's your work in progress?
Speaker 3: Or is this someone I sent my work in progress?
Speaker 2: And then, you know, I feel we are all obviously
Speaker 2: in this rat race of this industry and things are changing.
Speaker 2: And you know I said or you mentioned earlier like
Speaker 2: oh I was a late bloomer.
Speaker 3: Well I'm still.
Speaker 2: I turned thirty eighth this year, and there's things that I
Speaker 2: have to get done before I can have a family
Speaker 2: and I can do all these things. So it's finding
Speaker 2: these moments where it's like it's all going to happen.
Speaker 2: Take a deep breath.
Speaker 3: But again, I can't.
Speaker 2: Be the star or show up to the gig if
Speaker 2: I am a shell of a human, I can't do it.
Speaker 2: So I really had to take moments and have hard
Speaker 2: conversations with myself where it's like, hey, you got to
Speaker 2: be selfish for a minute, whether people get upset with
Speaker 2: you or not, you need to be selfish and take
Speaker 2: care of yourself. Yes, or there will be nothing, like
Speaker 2: we will have no career.
Speaker 1: There'll be nothing left. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I think.
Speaker 1: I think to your point, women, the world wants to
Speaker 1: bamboozle us, and we do it to ourselves. And I
Speaker 1: think anytime we can sit down and really just say
Speaker 1: this is what I need, it's a big deal.
Speaker 2: One. And the pressure that we put on ourselves, the
Speaker 2: pressure that the outside world puts on us, whether you're
Speaker 2: a stay at home mom.
Speaker 3: Whether you're a fortune five hundred early, we're supposed to
Speaker 3: do it all.
Speaker 2: I mean, I have a whole twenty minute bit about
Speaker 2: our cortisol Like it's it's like everyone's cortisols through the
Speaker 2: fucking roof.
Speaker 3: And nobody knows your cortisol is and.
Speaker 2: Then on top of that, you go to the doctor
Speaker 2: and they can't figure out your hormones. I'm like, how
Speaker 2: are we all this stressed, sweaty, exhausted while also having
Speaker 2: insomnia and none of us can figure it out.
Speaker 1: That's the bottle of wine conversation we're having next. But
Speaker 1: I love it. Where can people get tickets to your
Speaker 1: remaining tour dates?
Speaker 2: You can get tickets at Heather ontour dot com. And
Speaker 2: I'm serious, we gotta we have to get together a lady,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: And figure out.
Speaker 1: I gotta do it. I'm gonna text youant me, beat
Speaker 1: me tweets, all right, I know where to find.
Speaker 3: I love you, adore you truly same.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you make me so happy and I just really
Speaker 1: I cherish that I get to know you.
Speaker 3: My God, that's the kindest thing get for her. It's true.
Speaker 1: And you make me laugh. Bless you.
Speaker 3: You're doing the most. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1: You're doing the Lord's work, honey. Thank you for today,
Speaker 1: Oh my
Speaker 3: God, thank you