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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARVFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nep you. Subject Should I keep competing for

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Speaker 1: a spot? Dear Stephen Shirley. I moved to a new

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Speaker 1: city and I met a man at my apartment complex.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't live there, his sister does. He asked me

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Speaker 1: to go out, and our first date was so good

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Speaker 1: that he wanted to show me around town. We became inseparable,

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Speaker 1: but we haven't had sex or put a title on

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Speaker 1: our relationship. It's been three months and I'm sexually attracted

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Speaker 1: to him, so I asked if.

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Speaker 2: We were dating.

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Speaker 1: He said that I'm new in town and when I

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Speaker 1: got here, he had some loose ends he needed to

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Speaker 1: tie up. He said he is a couple of girls

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Speaker 1: that he enjoys hanging out with but right now I

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Speaker 1: have all of his attention. I pumped the brakes and

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Speaker 1: stopped thinking about wanting to sleep with him. I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to hang out with him anymore, but I had

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Speaker 1: to keep an open mind. I also appreciated his honesty.

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Speaker 1: He continued to casually. I continually casually dated him. A

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Speaker 1: week ago, he spent the night at my place for

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Speaker 1: the first time. We did a lot of kissing and cuddling,

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Speaker 1: and when things got heated, I pulled back. I told

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Speaker 1: him that I'm protecting myself from getting my heart broken.

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Speaker 1: That was the wrong thing to say, because he's been

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Speaker 1: acting weird since then. He probably thinks I'm falling in

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Speaker 1: love with him. I'm in no way in love with him,

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Speaker 1: but I do love hanging out with him. Now he

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Speaker 1: is acting weird and we barely go out. Does it

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Speaker 1: mean that he doesn't have good intentions for our relationship?

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Speaker 1: Is he putting all this time in just to have

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Speaker 1: sex with me? Am I better off leaving this man alone?

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Speaker 1: Or should I keep on competing for a spot?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 1: No, you definitely don't have to do that, And I say,

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Speaker 1: just please go on with your business. Go on about

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Speaker 1: your business. Leave this man alone. You don't have to

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Speaker 1: wait while he ties up his so called loose ends

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Speaker 1: and all that he said out of his mouth. You

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Speaker 1: have all of his attention right now. He's not trying

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Speaker 1: to claim you or put on put any type of

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Speaker 1: label on your relationship. He did tell you he was honest,

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Speaker 1: that he's dating other people, which gives you the option

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Speaker 1: of whether you want to keep dating him or not.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you pulled back. You told him you didn't

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Speaker 1: want to get your heart broken, and you didn't sleep

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Speaker 1: with him. Then he started acting weird as you say,

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Speaker 1: so what I mean? You see how he's acting now.

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Speaker 1: So if you're not in love with him, don't worry

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Speaker 1: about him. Like you said, Like he said, you are

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Speaker 1: new in town, so what does that mean? That means

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Speaker 1: keep your options open. He's not the only man in

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Speaker 1: the town. No one has time to play his little games, Steve, Wow, Okay,

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Speaker 1: or to show.

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Speaker 3: All of you how women he yeah what they wanted

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Speaker 3: to hear without listening to what a man says. Okay, Now,

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Speaker 3: surely you're not wrong in what you said, but you

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Speaker 3: accused him of saying something he saying, and this is

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Speaker 3: where we probably fell off track, I'd have moved to

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Speaker 3: a new city. I met a man at my apartment complex.

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Speaker 3: He don't live there, but his sister du Wene. Went

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Speaker 3: out on our first date and it was so good

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Speaker 3: he wanted to show me around town. Okay, you went

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Speaker 3: out on your first date. Was so good that he

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Speaker 3: wanted to show you around town. What do that mean exactly?

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Speaker 3: The date was so good he wanted to show you

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Speaker 3: around town. Okay, we became inseparable, but we haven't had

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Speaker 3: sex or put a title on our relationship. It's been

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Speaker 3: three months now I'm sexually attracted to him.

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Speaker 2: Now here we go. So I asked him if we

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Speaker 2: were dating.

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Speaker 3: He said that I'm new in town and when I

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Speaker 3: got there, he had some loose ends he needed to

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Speaker 3: tie up. Now what that means is you came into

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Speaker 3: town new but already had.

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Speaker 2: Some action going. I think we all agree with that.

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Speaker 2: Then he said he had a couple of girls that

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Speaker 2: he enjoys.

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Speaker 3: Hanging out with. Now that means he's sleeping with a

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Speaker 3: couple of women. That's the true he telling you about. Then,

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Speaker 3: she said, but right now I have all of his attention.

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Speaker 3: What you said, Shirley, was he told you that you

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Speaker 3: have all of his attention. That is not what he said.

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Speaker 3: She assumed that she has all of his attention. See,

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Speaker 3: she said, I have all his attention.

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Speaker 1: He said, said he has a couple of girls that

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Speaker 1: he enjoys hanging out with, but right now I have

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Speaker 1: all of his attention.

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Speaker 2: He said, say that.

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Speaker 3: What did he say?

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Speaker 2: He said it? Okay, no, no, no, listen to me.

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Speaker 3: If he got a couple of girls he enjoyed hanging

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Speaker 3: out with, how your hell you got all his attention.

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Speaker 3: He just told you he got a couple of girls

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Speaker 3: he hang out with, but right now I have all

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Speaker 3: his attention. See it don't make no sense, ladies. I'm

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Speaker 3: just as a part I want women to get to it.

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Speaker 3: Don't make no sense. It has to match up what

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Speaker 3: a man says and what a man does.

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Speaker 2: He told you a word.

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Speaker 3: Come on, I'm just trying, ladies, I'm just trying to

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Speaker 3: help you. No, no, no, but stop hearing the wrong stuff.

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Speaker 3: Pay attention. It's a couple of girls that I'm hanging

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Speaker 3: out with. That means I'm having sex with him.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we get it.

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Speaker 3: Uh huh, Now I suppose, he said, but right now

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Speaker 3: you have all my attention.

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Speaker 2: But Shirley, listen to me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what how does that make sense?

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, se I'm trying to no. No.

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Speaker 3: What I'm telling women is don't go running all down

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Speaker 3: the street with one line without listening to the whole story,

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Speaker 3: because you done took that. Let's say he did say.

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Speaker 3: Let's let's give Shirley's story to benefit of doubt. He said,

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Speaker 3: but you have all my attention right now.

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Speaker 2: But he just told you he's sleeping with two other chicks.

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 4: And y'all ain't having sex. Wait, y'all done, y'all? Hold on,

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Speaker 4: hold on, we have part two. We gotta get to

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Speaker 4: uh take a break right here. All right, we'll have

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Speaker 4: part two of your response Steve coming up at twenty

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Speaker 4: three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter? Subject, should I keep competing for a spot?

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: morning show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: strawberry letter. The subject is, should I keep competing for

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Speaker 1: a spot?

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Speaker 3: I don't want to get nobody off to the road, surely,

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Speaker 3: And I just have a small slight variation in the

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Speaker 3: interpretation of this letter.

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Speaker 2: That's all it is.

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Speaker 3: It's a misunderstanding, but it's also a misunderstanding that most

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Speaker 3: women have when it comes to men, And I just

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Speaker 3: wanted to point this out to you. She met this

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Speaker 3: guy in the complex she moved into, but he don't

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Speaker 3: live that, but he over that dating his sister. They

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Speaker 3: went out, they had a good time, so now he's

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Speaker 3: showing her around town. They've been dating for three months now.

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Speaker 3: They haven't had any sex, but she's sexually attracted to him.

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Speaker 3: So then she asked him if we were dating. The

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Speaker 3: man said, I'm new in town. You telling the girl

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Speaker 3: you knew in town that when you got here, I

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Speaker 3: had some loose ends I needed to tie up.

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Speaker 2: He didn't say he was tied up, no loose ends.

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Speaker 3: He just said he had some loose ends he needed

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Speaker 3: to tie But he didn't tell that he was tying

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Speaker 3: nothing up. He says he has a couple of girls

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Speaker 3: that he enjoys hanging out with. What the hell does

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Speaker 3: that mean? It's two women he's sleeping with. Yes, but

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Speaker 3: right now I have all his attention now, Sureley said,

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Speaker 3: that's what he told him. I'm saying that because they've

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Speaker 3: been hanging out there inseparable. She's assuming she has all

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Speaker 3: of his intentions. But he told her, it's two women

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Speaker 3: that I'm hanging out. Now, what the hell you think

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Speaker 3: they at? I bet you they don't even know about

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Speaker 3: the new girl in town. I bet you they don't

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Speaker 3: even think they are inseparable because he balancing these two women.

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Speaker 2: He's still sleeping with them.

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Speaker 3: She assuming she has all of his attention, but he

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Speaker 3: told her, I'm sleeping with two other women.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand where our disagreement is though.

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Speaker 2: It's like, I agree.

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Speaker 1: He said that she has all of his attention, right,

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Speaker 1: but he's not claiming her or anything like that because

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Speaker 1: he has these other two women.

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Speaker 2: You don't see that.

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Speaker 3: I don't see what anybody have your full attention and

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Speaker 3: he got two other women.

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Speaker 2: That's right, That's just what he told her.

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Speaker 1: She wasn't buying it.

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Speaker 2: I don't believe she bought it at all.

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Speaker 3: So I pumped the brakes and stopped thinking about wanting.

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Speaker 2: To sleep with him. That's a lie.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to hang out with him anymore, but

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Speaker 3: I had to keep an open mind.

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Speaker 2: What lady, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to see him anymore, but I had

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Speaker 3: to keep an open mind, oh mind to what you

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Speaker 3: just said. You stopped, stopped thinking about it. That's how

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Speaker 3: I know you lying.

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Speaker 2: I also appreciated his honesty.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, that's good. So if I tell you I'm

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Speaker 3: sleeping with some more people, do you appreciate that?

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Speaker 2: Okay? Cool?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, yes, we tell you that all the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah okay. And then he told you that what you want?

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Speaker 2: What what you win for that? What? What ribbon you

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Speaker 2: get for that? Truth?

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Speaker 1: But she gets the option to make up her own

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Speaker 1: money to choose.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, surely I'm fit to show you something.

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Speaker 3: It's the trap. Man, God, y'all, man, y'all, I continue

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Speaker 3: to casually date he here we go. All he did

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Speaker 3: was throw it out there to see how you would react.

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Speaker 3: You said you stopped thinking about him sexually. But guess

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Speaker 3: what you continue, you continued, because he threw out there

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Speaker 3: the bait and you bit. Now we right back where

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Speaker 3: we started from a week ago, when he spent the

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Speaker 3: night in my place for the first time. How how

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Speaker 3: he get in your bed?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: Well, she said she was sexually attracted to him.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, What she said was.

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Speaker 3: I'm pumped the brakes and stopped thinking about wanting to

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Speaker 3: sleep with him, and I ain't want to hang out

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Speaker 3: with him anymore.

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Speaker 2: That's what she said, But.

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Speaker 1: She also says she was sexually attracted to him.

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Speaker 3: Quit hearing what you want to hear running down the

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Speaker 3: street with that information because you want to have a

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Speaker 3: relationship now. Ay, we did a lot of kissing in

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Speaker 3: the coveling and then things got heated.

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Speaker 2: What the hell you think was gonna happen?

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Speaker 3: I pulled back and I told him I'm protecting myself

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Speaker 3: from getting my heart broken. That was the wrong thing

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Speaker 3: to say, because he's been acting weird since then. He

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Speaker 3: probably thinks I'm falling in love with him. No, he don't, No,

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Speaker 3: he don't. What he probably think is he done wasted

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Speaker 3: his damn time and you ain't gonna have sex with him.

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Speaker 2: That's what he probably right there.

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Speaker 3: Well, then he probably thinks I'm falling in love and

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Speaker 3: I'm in no way in love with him, but I

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Speaker 3: do love hanging out with him. Hey, stop saying love.

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Speaker 3: Starting to be stupid, stud? No, but stop saying love. God,

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Speaker 3: he is now acting weird and we badly go out.

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Speaker 3: Does it mean that he don't have good intentions for

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Speaker 3: our relationship?

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Speaker 2: Is he putting all this time in to have sex

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Speaker 2: with me?

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, that's why, that's why we put time.

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Speaker 2: In to have sex, working hard at it.

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Speaker 3: Am I better off leaving this man alone? And should

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Speaker 3: I keep competing for a spot? You already competed for

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Speaker 3: the spot when you let him have a space in

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Speaker 3: your bed and you're trying to get something from the

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Speaker 3: man that he not find to give to you.

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Speaker 2: You're fin to be number.

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Speaker 3: Three because now her only question is should I keep

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Speaker 3: competing for a spot?

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Speaker 2: Because his mind.

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Speaker 1: Leading the comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on instagramm Quinn

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Speaker 1: chuck us out on the Strawberry Letter Podcast Radio. I

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Speaker 1: told her to go, what are you talking about? Why

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Speaker 1: are you mad at me? Because she didn't give him none?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: Coming up next Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to The Harvey Morning Show.