Speaker 1: I know the right answer, and it's the hardest one.
Speaker 1: The hardest answer is the right one. Here. What do
Speaker 1: you do about dad? You forgive them and you love them?
Speaker 1: What's up? Guys? Welcome to the podcast. Wherever you're coming from,
Speaker 1: we're just grateful to have you. Whatever platform you came
Speaker 1: from or found out about this podcast with, or maybe
Speaker 1: you're a longtime listener. Thank you. If you are a
Speaker 1: longtime listener, you remember my guest Bernie Calcote. Awesome, awesome
Speaker 1: guest and great friend. You've been with me for twenty
Speaker 1: two years or something like that, and you've always been
Speaker 1: the guy that helped me dissect problems that I've had
Speaker 1: in my life. You've always been the one that give
Speaker 1: me sound advice. And so because of the format of
Speaker 1: this podcast giving other people advice, I want to be
Speaker 1: able to use your advice for others. Yeah, happy to
Speaker 1: be here and thankful for the invite. Back. Man, you've
Speaker 1: been on probably be a while fifteen episodes, Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: been a while, though maybe more maybe twenty. Yeah, have
Speaker 1: you missed me? You've been doing an like how is
Speaker 1: it doing it solo versus with a guest solo, because
Speaker 1: sometimes you'll be by yourself and man, you'll be getting
Speaker 1: fired up, and I can tell you just want to
Speaker 1: look at somebody and be like you feel me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's easier to not have a schedule and just
Speaker 1: go I'm gonna knock out a podcast and hit record. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's harder because I have to talk the whole time, right,
Speaker 1: I don't get to breathe. Yeah, So if you have
Speaker 1: a question, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, and
Speaker 1: that's where we're gonna read from today, out of order,
Speaker 1: not prompted, no notes in front of us. Bernie has
Speaker 1: no idea what's coming at him, and I don't either,
Speaker 1: So we're going to go into this right now. Subject
Speaker 1: line of this first one says still living with the
Speaker 1: in laws. Question comes from Rosy says, Hey, Grange, and
Speaker 1: my husband and I are coming up on our tenure innniversary,
Speaker 1: yet we still live with his parents. We have three
Speaker 1: dogs excuse me, three kids, a service dog. We desperately
Speaker 1: want to move out of the house, but every time
Speaker 1: we mention a word or hint about moving, his parents panic.
Speaker 1: They tell us they will that if we leave, they
Speaker 1: will surely die. They say they can't live without us.
Speaker 1: Yet they are verbally abusive to myself and my husband.
Speaker 1: They yell at my kids every day. Don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: they mean well, they could be nice and sweet. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I just feel like the stress is eating us all.
Speaker 1: How can we deal with this and still honor them?
Speaker 1: Currently living in California praying to move to Texas. This
Speaker 1: comes from Rosie. Wow, there's a lot of people that
Speaker 1: are in California praying to move to Texas. I feel
Speaker 1: like there are. I was just in California and heard
Speaker 1: from a lot of them. Yeah. Wow, so ten years,
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that they've been with the in laws of
Speaker 1: the entire time. Yeah, So, I think Rosie's Rosie's issue
Speaker 1: here is that we've said on this podcast a lot
Speaker 1: that you know, there's a principle to honor your your
Speaker 1: mother and father, but but there's there's there's counteracting principles
Speaker 1: in this situation of parents honoring the children of the
Speaker 1: man getting married and moving away from mom and dad.
Speaker 1: So there's there's some conflicting principles to talk about here.
Speaker 1: How do you start this conversation with Rosie? Well, the
Speaker 1: first thing that sticks out to me with Rosie is
Speaker 1: that I believe and this podcast is always going to
Speaker 1: be tough. Love so love you, Rosie and and all
Speaker 1: you people that are writing in. I love that you
Speaker 1: trust us with something that is such a deep question
Speaker 1: for you and your family. And after I get that
Speaker 1: out of the way, I want to say that I
Speaker 1: feel like this this is falling more on your husband's shoulders,
Speaker 1: this is yours. This is something your husband needs to
Speaker 1: man up. He got three kids. Yeah, he needs to
Speaker 1: man up. And I'm one hundred percent rosy for moving
Speaker 1: and and I think you could honor them and still move.
Speaker 1: And I think you could. You could say we love
Speaker 1: you guys. We were so grateful for the opportunity to
Speaker 1: stay here and to have this foundation at home, but
Speaker 1: we have to in order to really blossom our own family,
Speaker 1: we have to leave. We have to leave the nest,
Speaker 1: and we want to come back and visit. If they
Speaker 1: were on hospice or something like with cancer, and it
Speaker 1: might be a little different. That doesn't sound like that's
Speaker 1: what's going on here. It sounds like they just have
Speaker 1: some parents that are that are needy. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think the husband guy, Rosie's husband, like you said, needs
Speaker 1: to man up. And it's so hard without you sitting
Speaker 1: next to us, and us be able to ask you
Speaker 1: questions like why is there another reason why you have
Speaker 1: been there other than the parents or the in laws
Speaker 1: trying to be controlling. I think that. I mean, if
Speaker 1: these are reasonable people, they're gonna understand. Oh yeah, of
Speaker 1: course you need your own space and you need to
Speaker 1: move out. It doesn't mean that they're abandoning, you know,
Speaker 1: the in laws. And maybe it's just a small step.
Speaker 1: You know, Granger always talks about these things that you know,
Speaker 1: we're standing in front of the mountain and it's just
Speaker 1: too much. It's overwhelming to think about, you know, moving
Speaker 1: from California to Texas and really abandoned. Maybe you just
Speaker 1: move down the street. Hey, we're gon We're gonna start small.
Speaker 1: We're gonna move down the street. We're still gonna come
Speaker 1: over for a brunch on Sundays and the kids can
Speaker 1: come over and and then kind of maybe a slower
Speaker 1: process and just see how that is. Texas is a
Speaker 1: long way. Yeah, that's a big step. Yep. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: part of the of the issue. And this falls on
Speaker 1: the husbands shoulders and Rosie. It's going to be a tough,
Speaker 1: tough situation. It's gonna be a tough conversation with your
Speaker 1: husband because you also want to honor him, but he
Speaker 1: needs to step up as the leader of the family
Speaker 1: and man up and say, my wife's not happy, my
Speaker 1: kids are being verbally abused. We're going to move out,
Speaker 1: and we're going to still going to come visit and
Speaker 1: still be here for you. But but yeah, you're right, Rosie,
Speaker 1: your intuition here is right. Your question. I think everything
Speaker 1: is right. If there's verbal abuse going up, or abuse
Speaker 1: in any kind going on, you need to remove your
Speaker 1: kids and yourself from the situation. And regardless of being
Speaker 1: sensitive to the in laws or I understand you need
Speaker 1: to be delicate, but I mean, your husband and your
Speaker 1: kids are your first priority, so you need to get
Speaker 1: them to a safe place. Yep, yeah, sorry, Rosie. Tough spot.
Speaker 1: It's time to go, start small, It's time to go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: time to go. Okay. Next question, subject line says, my
Speaker 1: best friend is liking my exes post. Hey, grade, I'd
Speaker 1: like to remain anonymous. My best friend started liking my
Speaker 1: ex's Instagram post after we broke up, and even added
Speaker 1: her on Facebook post breakup. We had a healthy dialogue
Speaker 1: about that and how it was making me feel. So
Speaker 1: he respectfully stopped several months of pass now, and I
Speaker 1: noticed he recently started doing it again. They weren't friends
Speaker 1: before we started dating, which makes me question his motives.
Speaker 1: Is this my own insecurity kicking in or do I
Speaker 1: have a reason to reevaluate whether I could trust this
Speaker 1: friend moving forward? How would you handle the situation? Thanks
Speaker 1: for all you do anonymous social media. Anonymous, You're probably
Speaker 1: not gonna listen to me, but if you wanted to,
Speaker 1: you know, get a wild hair and say, you know,
Speaker 1: take advice of Granger's friend burns, delete your social media account,
Speaker 1: maybe get off your phone for a while. Guys, these devices,
Speaker 1: I don't believe that we were made as humans to
Speaker 1: be able to have access to as many options and
Speaker 1: people and relationships to manage and to sort through that
Speaker 1: we do it is. I mean, there's so much depression
Speaker 1: and anxiety and struggle that it's causing because we're not
Speaker 1: made to do that. And so if you want to
Speaker 1: be bold and not have to deal with that, just
Speaker 1: get off of it. Maybe it's just for a time, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's not get crazy. I mean, I'm trying to convince
Speaker 1: Leslie to let me get a flip phone and get
Speaker 1: rid of my phone. But I understand that's extreme, So
Speaker 1: maybe let's not go that far. Let's start with just
Speaker 1: maybe take a break from social media for a while,
Speaker 1: so that you get to be where your feed are,
Speaker 1: you get to be present and the only information in
Speaker 1: things you're having to deal with or what's in front
Speaker 1: of you right now. Maybe start there. Yeah, so what
Speaker 1: Bernie's doing here is anonymous. He's he's telling you in
Speaker 1: a way that you have to take responsibility for this.
Speaker 1: You're because that's why, because that's the only thing you
Speaker 1: can control is your own responsibility to the situation. You
Speaker 1: can't control your ex, you can't control your friend, and
Speaker 1: but what you can control is not seeing it and
Speaker 1: not letting it affect you. So you take, first of all,
Speaker 1: take responsibility for yourself in this situation, because you're going
Speaker 1: to get better now now just dissecting the problem itself.
Speaker 1: She's an ex, right, you're not together, she's not your property,
Speaker 1: And there's not really a rule that says that. So
Speaker 1: much time has gone by and your friend could never
Speaker 1: like an Instagram picture, and I don't think that has
Speaker 1: anything to do with trusting him moving forward, either yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think she may be or he or she may
Speaker 1: be taking it personally when they don't need to. People
Speaker 1: are doing their own thing, and most of the time
Speaker 1: it has more to do with them than it does
Speaker 1: with you, and so I maybe wouldn't take it personally.
Speaker 1: And let me say one more thing and then I
Speaker 1: promise ione to get off my social media digital information soapbox,
Speaker 1: because there's a lot I've noticed a lot of really
Speaker 1: young listeners to this podcast. A lot of people that
Speaker 1: ride in they're fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old. Right,
Speaker 1: So guys, just take a minute and just consider the
Speaker 1: effects that your phone has on your life. Go into
Speaker 1: your settings and look at screen time and just look
Speaker 1: at the number of hours per day that you are
Speaker 1: looking at your phone, and then you can multiply that,
Speaker 1: I think times each hour you know that's in there average,
Speaker 1: it's like fifteen days per year. This is a scary
Speaker 1: experiment for you guys to do. When I did it,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness. But if you if
Speaker 1: you do that, you'll start to realize how dependent you
Speaker 1: are on that device. A lot of it can be
Speaker 1: spent on social media. So just aware, maybe be aware
Speaker 1: and that there's people around you, and there's things around
Speaker 1: you that could use your focus and attention and maybe
Speaker 1: it'll end up helping you a So that's it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let me piggyback one last thing on that we keep
Speaker 1: saying one last thing. If you say you need Facebook
Speaker 1: for work or there's a legitimate reason there is, there
Speaker 1: is this idea that you should always block your ex anyway,
Speaker 1: just block her. Maybe you can't get off Facebook, maybe
Speaker 1: you need something you know, you need to do it
Speaker 1: for work, but you need to block her. Absolutely. You
Speaker 1: can't wake up in the morning and think what is
Speaker 1: she doing and look her up on Facebook and then
Speaker 1: see your friend like the post that is that's damaging
Speaker 1: your day, is damaging your mind, it's hurting your heart,
Speaker 1: it's it's prolonging the heartbreak. So when you break up
Speaker 1: with someone and and it's done, it sounds like this
Speaker 1: is done in this story. You need to block her
Speaker 1: and if you need to tell her, hey, great, if
Speaker 1: you need to, if you need to shoot her attacks
Speaker 1: and say hey, I just need to tell you so
Speaker 1: that you know this is not personal to you. This
Speaker 1: is this is not me hating you, but this is
Speaker 1: me working on myself and needing to be better because
Speaker 1: I'm heartsick, and in order for me to get better,
Speaker 1: I hope you understand that I'm going to block you,
Speaker 1: not for a hate reason, but just for the reason
Speaker 1: that I can't for my own sanity look at you
Speaker 1: every day on Facebook. Problem solved. Yeah, I think that's
Speaker 1: your answer right there. As far as your friend, if
Speaker 1: he starts dating her, I mean, worst case he marries her,
Speaker 1: I mean that's gonna that could happen, but I don't
Speaker 1: think that's a trust issue. She's kind of free game, right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wonder how old these people are too. They didn't
Speaker 1: say today, No, okay, man, we're kind of We're kind
Speaker 1: of gonna go to something similar here. Next question says, hey, Gradeur,
Speaker 1: I'm Zach from Cincinnati. Have been struggling recently with my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: She's very beautiful and I love her. She posts a
Speaker 1: lot of bikini pictures and videos on social media. I
Speaker 1: get worried and jealous that she's doing this for attention.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice? Oh my gosh, but it's real,
Speaker 1: This is real. These are real problems today twenty twenty two.
Speaker 1: These are real problems, very real problems. So can I
Speaker 1: have a plug for strong father, Strong daughters. Go for it.
Speaker 1: If you haven't read that book and you're a dad
Speaker 1: out there of a daughter, please go read it. It
Speaker 1: is incredible, Strong father, Strong Daughters. Because I think there
Speaker 1: who knows. We can't we can't assume the intentions of
Speaker 1: this girl. We can only take Did he say his
Speaker 1: name za Zach from Cincinnati? Okay? His I think he
Speaker 1: has a right to be kind of like feeling a
Speaker 1: little weird, right, yeah, I mean sure, I would probably
Speaker 1: feel weird, like sure, So I don't I don't know
Speaker 1: what to tell him. What do you say to her?
Speaker 1: I would say, there is I would say there's one
Speaker 1: scenario where this works out. Two, there's two scenarios. One,
Speaker 1: she's a model and she's doing this because she's getting
Speaker 1: paid and that's her job. Two, she and I knew
Speaker 1: a girl like this at one point. She actually designed
Speaker 1: and made bikinis for a living, and she used other
Speaker 1: girls as to model the new the new line, the
Speaker 1: new summer line, and then she modeled a few times
Speaker 1: herself the new design. She literally knit them in her
Speaker 1: house and made these bikinis. Okay, those are your two reasons.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is either one of those things.
Speaker 1: If she's I always am wary about anyone that's posting
Speaker 1: too many pictures with no friends in it. It's just
Speaker 1: them and there's no reason, there's nothing to promote behind
Speaker 1: it besides promoting their own ego. That's always a little
Speaker 1: weird to me. So like if I friend someone on Instagram,
Speaker 1: say someone say it's a radio personality, okay, or in
Speaker 1: a meet them and we become friends on Instagram and
Speaker 1: I look at their profile and it's every picture is
Speaker 1: nothing but themselves. Everyone. There's no friends, our dogs, our
Speaker 1: parents or spouse. It's like, what's going on here? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's weird. It's weird. So Zach, let's get practical. The
Speaker 1: practical step first is just talking to her. It sounds
Speaker 1: like he's young, he's pretty young. I'm guessing just say hey,
Speaker 1: I'll be totally honest. If you're gonna be very vulnerable,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna admit something that's embarrassing. But I'm a little
Speaker 1: I'm a little weirded out. I'm a little a little
Speaker 1: jealous that you post these pictures for the world to see.
Speaker 1: And she's not gonna take that very well. Probably but
Speaker 1: then you're gonna find a lot out about your relationship
Speaker 1: at that point. If she's like, Hey, I want what's
Speaker 1: best for us in this relationship. If that's weird, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stop doing it. You got a winner. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: a great, great answer, But I don't think she's gonna
Speaker 1: say that. Yeah. Yeah, she's probably emotionally developing just like you.
Speaker 1: You know, they're in that kind of phase of like
Speaker 1: trying to figure out, you know, who they are and
Speaker 1: what they can trust and what they can't. And they
Speaker 1: either are looking putting things out there to see like
Speaker 1: what gets the attention the kind that they want. So
Speaker 1: I don't know, Man, she's going to get more likes
Speaker 1: if she's in a bikini then if she's in a
Speaker 1: button up shirt, Yeah for sure. But maybe that's the
Speaker 1: question for for her from him is like, hey, is
Speaker 1: my attention not enough? Great? Is my the way that
Speaker 1: I love you and adore you and we'll do anything
Speaker 1: for you? Is that not enough? Because these photos it's
Speaker 1: kind of you saying like, hey, I need I need
Speaker 1: your attention and your millions of people. I need your
Speaker 1: attention and your affirmation, Like are my words not affirming enough?
Speaker 1: And if not, then why Like it could be the
Speaker 1: start of a really deep, beautiful conversation or it could
Speaker 1: be the beginning of a break up. Yeah, but either way,
Speaker 1: I think you got to speak up, Zach. It's time.
Speaker 1: It's time, Zach bring it up to her. Let's hit
Speaker 1: another one. This says navigating parenthood and God. Hello. I'm
Speaker 1: the mom of three and I had a tough childhood.
Speaker 1: My mom was a huge Christian and shared custody of
Speaker 1: me and my sister with our biological dad. He was
Speaker 1: and still is a non believer. He tried to convince
Speaker 1: me as a kid that God is not real. To
Speaker 1: give you an accurate picture of this, he had six
Speaker 1: six six tattooed on his neck. We no longer speak
Speaker 1: at all. Fast forward. I've worked through lots of anxiety
Speaker 1: around religion and have tried going to church, but I
Speaker 1: still struggle. I have three kids, ten, six and two.
Speaker 1: My ten year old recently had what I think was
Speaker 1: an anxiety attack. He asked me if life is real
Speaker 1: and how do we know that God is real? And
Speaker 1: he was crying pretty hard. What advice would you give
Speaker 1: me and my husband to navigate through this with him?
Speaker 1: These are questions I still struggle with given my past
Speaker 1: trauma around religion. We go to church and we are believers,
Speaker 1: but it's still a very vulnerable subject in our house.
Speaker 1: Between my husband and me, we can almost discount the
Speaker 1: the dad talk, the six six six dad, So that
Speaker 1: was her dad, that was her dad, but he's not
Speaker 1: in the picture anymore. So, so she was raised by
Speaker 1: her mom, shared custody with mom, who is a believer, yeah,
Speaker 1: and not believe her dad. Okay, But now her and
Speaker 1: her husband they're just wrestling with how to talk to through,
Speaker 1: how to know if God is real with their son
Speaker 1: who is ten, ten six and two. Yeah, So I
Speaker 1: think the dad, kind of the grandpa is kind of
Speaker 1: irrelevant a little bit, right, But she's still it sounds
Speaker 1: like she's still Maybe she's just recognizing that she probably
Speaker 1: had doubts in her life as well through a broken
Speaker 1: marriage that she was raised in. So we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about here, and this is it's great. This is
Speaker 1: great for Bernie and I because Bernie, you have a twelve, twelve, nine, twelve,
Speaker 1: nine and five and I have a ten and an
Speaker 1: eight and a newborn, so so we we know what
Speaker 1: ten is like. Bernie has had one and I have
Speaker 1: one now, and it's it's it is a critical This
Speaker 1: is critical is for parenting right now at this age.
Speaker 1: So how do we know how do we explain to
Speaker 1: a child that God is real? Well, it's going to
Speaker 1: really it's going to start with it's going to start
Speaker 1: with parents honoring the Word of God through their lives. YEP.
Speaker 1: So for instance, when your your son has a baseball
Speaker 1: game tournament on Sunday morning at eight o'clock and you say,
Speaker 1: we're going to skip this turn ornament because we're going
Speaker 1: to church on Sunday morning, that's an example of living
Speaker 1: by the Word of God through your actions, so that
Speaker 1: he could see, oh, this is really important, Like this
Speaker 1: is a big deal. Going to church must be a
Speaker 1: really big deal to mom and dad and you, Mom, Julie,
Speaker 1: this is your name. You're saying, we go to church
Speaker 1: and we're believers. But it's but you struggle with religion,
Speaker 1: so it's important for them to see that you're not
Speaker 1: struggling with it. Yeah, that was the first thing that
Speaker 1: I was thinking, is your kids understanding that we're all
Speaker 1: kind of wrestling. I have talks with Boston all the
Speaker 1: time of like, man, do this parenting thing is hard. Like,
Speaker 1: I love you so much and I want this for you,
Speaker 1: but I also want to let you make your decisions
Speaker 1: and your good choices and bad choices. But I feel
Speaker 1: like the best ministry that I have to my kids,
Speaker 1: like you said, is the way that I relate my
Speaker 1: life to the Word of God. So they don't just
Speaker 1: see Sunday morning we go to church, but they see
Speaker 1: the way that we stop and we talk to the
Speaker 1: homeless person on the corner, and that we have these
Speaker 1: bags in our car already made it so we can
Speaker 1: so we can help them and do something. The way
Speaker 1: that the music that we listen to is, you know,
Speaker 1: it's glorifying to God. There's there's all of these things
Speaker 1: that are pouring out of a genuine heart posture that
Speaker 1: wants to glorify God with my life. That I think
Speaker 1: that that even though I may fumble through the actual
Speaker 1: words of you know, telling them about the story of
Speaker 1: the Gospel, maybe it's not eloquent and maybe it's kind
Speaker 1: of fumbled around, But the way we live our lives
Speaker 1: out of that love that we have, I think that's
Speaker 1: the best way we communicate it. Yeah, Paul says, and
Speaker 1: his epistles. He'll say that the evidence of God is
Speaker 1: all around us. We're left without excuse, and that's in
Speaker 1: creation itself. That means sometimes you take a vacation with
Speaker 1: your kids to the Grand Canyon and you walk out
Speaker 1: to the edge of the Grand Canyon and you tell
Speaker 1: your kids as you're looking at it and everyone's in
Speaker 1: awe of it, you say, isn't God incredible? Look at this?
Speaker 1: Look at this place? Isn't God incredible? And your six
Speaker 1: year old and your two year old are hearing that,
Speaker 1: they're left without an excuse to go. This wasn't an accident.
Speaker 1: This was by design. You step out in your front
Speaker 1: yard when a big storm comes in in June and
Speaker 1: the clouds roll in and the big thunderheads and all
Speaker 1: the colors and the lightning, and you look up and
Speaker 1: you go, God is incredible. Look at this. God is incredible.
Speaker 1: And they're going to look at you and go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I see that. I see it now. And it also
Speaker 1: happens through your own struggles, because we struggle. Believers will struggle,
Speaker 1: and you through your struggle you say, I'm I'm mommy,
Speaker 1: why are you crying? I'm just I'm so sad, but
Speaker 1: I know through my tears and through my sadness, I
Speaker 1: know that that God has a plan, that God has
Speaker 1: a purpose, and so I trust God has a purpose
Speaker 1: even though I'm crying and I'm hurting, and this is
Speaker 1: very hard we lost grandma or whatever. But you relate
Speaker 1: to your kids. You speak out loud that we lost
Speaker 1: grandma and I'm so sad, but I know that I'm trusting.
Speaker 1: I'm trusting the purpose of God in this, and they're
Speaker 1: soaking that in they're absorbing that from mom. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's great. I would suggest to Julie, and Granger
Speaker 1: says this on this podcast all the time, which I
Speaker 1: think is awesome and honestly has impacted me in my
Speaker 1: spiritual walk in my life. Is you, Julie personally, just
Speaker 1: dig into the Word every morning if you possibly can,
Speaker 1: because out of that, you're gonna know what to say,
Speaker 1: You're gonna know what to do. It's just going to
Speaker 1: be natural that your kids are gonna be like, wow,
Speaker 1: there is My mom just gives credit to God for
Speaker 1: all things. So that's where they're going to place their trust.
Speaker 1: Is like, no, well God made this and God did this.
Speaker 1: Not well, I worked hard and I got this job
Speaker 1: or this house is like, oh no, man, God is
Speaker 1: so good. So yeah, I would just dig into the
Speaker 1: word and start there. And when you do that, Julie,
Speaker 1: for instance, for me, I read the Bible every morning,
Speaker 1: and I've purposely made my place where I read in
Speaker 1: our living room where the kids wake up and have
Speaker 1: to walk past me, so that every morning they see
Speaker 1: the Dad is living for this word. It's a lifeline
Speaker 1: because although I mess up and I struggle and I
Speaker 1: stumble through life, I'm going back to be renew dude.
Speaker 1: Every morning. I'm going back to the source because I
Speaker 1: need it. Because literally my life depends on those words.
Speaker 1: And I want my kids the first thing in the
Speaker 1: morning to see Dad is going back to be refueled
Speaker 1: this morning. Yesterday he struggled through something, anything, but he's
Speaker 1: being He's being renewed today because he has to, not
Speaker 1: because he wants to, or because it's an it's a
Speaker 1: hobby or a habit, but because his life depends on it.
Speaker 1: And I want them to get older and get into
Speaker 1: their twenties and look back on being young and be like,
Speaker 1: I remember, Dad, what do you remember about your dad?
Speaker 1: I remember he got up every morning before we were
Speaker 1: up and he was in there reading the Bible with
Speaker 1: his eyes wide open, like he had to read it.
Speaker 1: I want them to think that, and then I want
Speaker 1: them to do it. Yeah, let's take a break, beer back.
Speaker 1: All right, we're just going down the list. Reading these
Speaker 1: questions got my secret weapon guest Bernie cal go with us.
Speaker 1: And this next one says, dear granger, I recently went
Speaker 1: through a two year relationship. I thought the girl was
Speaker 1: the right one for me, and she tried manipulating me
Speaker 1: into coming back into a relationship with her, and I
Speaker 1: told her that it was not going to work out
Speaker 1: because I was depressed for two weeks after she broke
Speaker 1: up with me. But my mom told me that I'm
Speaker 1: better off without a relationship, especially when that's going to
Speaker 1: break my heart. I told her I'd rather stay single
Speaker 1: for a couple of years. I've even made plans to
Speaker 1: move out to Oregon, where I live, to move out
Speaker 1: to Cheatham County, Tennessee and start a new life. Looking
Speaker 1: for some relationship advice in any tips. I'm getting closer
Speaker 1: to God and starting a new life in a new town.
Speaker 1: I'm nervous to go, but I'm also looking forward to this.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five years old. Okay, so there's a lot
Speaker 1: of questions in there, relocation, closer to God, relationships. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and if y'all have a question, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. I have a couple requests. One, keep
Speaker 1: it about a phone length long. That's a perfect length
Speaker 1: to read. If it gets longer than a phone length,
Speaker 1: then it's harder to read on the podcast. My second
Speaker 1: request is make sure you it's it's better if you
Speaker 1: put periods in commas. I'm shocked with the questions that don't.
Speaker 1: It's like a long question and there's not a single
Speaker 1: period in the whole question. Is that like a phone
Speaker 1: that's like a texting thing? I guess. So, I mean
Speaker 1: just everything's so casual these days. We have you know,
Speaker 1: abbreviate words tots magoats or tots sobs or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: And I'm definitely man getting old, like really fast, because
Speaker 1: I'm looking at like some of the younger cultural things
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, oh, back in my day, we
Speaker 1: did like sorry guys, old man moment. So he did
Speaker 1: he say anonymous? No? So this is Wade. This comes
Speaker 1: from Wade, and so Wade just going through like Bernie
Speaker 1: said a lot of different things here, But I think
Speaker 1: you're right for not going back to this girl that
Speaker 1: you went through this relationship with. You broke your heart,
Speaker 1: she manipulated you. Good for you, man, that you're making
Speaker 1: a step that a lot of people have troubled doing,
Speaker 1: and you're you're recognizing that, Hey, I was really hurt
Speaker 1: after this breakup, and I'm going to get out of it.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go back into it. In fact,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go into any relationship right now
Speaker 1: until I feel confident in myself and confident as a
Speaker 1: single person. So good for you, man. Sometimes in doing
Speaker 1: that is an exercise of doing that, you have to
Speaker 1: move out of your hometown. Yeah, you're doing that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So what's the question here? He's just looking over and
Speaker 1: looking from the future. Yeah, for some advice, I think
Speaker 1: there's three words for old Wade. Mama knows best. With
Speaker 1: what Mama said, she said, you don't need to go
Speaker 1: back with her. I think that opens the door. You're
Speaker 1: twenty five, you're still young. Move I actually moved. You
Speaker 1: moved to Tennessee younger than that, younger than that. So
Speaker 1: we moved Tennessee to Georgia. Back to Tennessee. Back to Texas,
Speaker 1: go move, experience a different culture. Man, You're going to
Speaker 1: a different environment, make new friends. Like you said, you're
Speaker 1: working on yourself. You're trying to become closer to God.
Speaker 1: And there's no way or no better way to be
Speaker 1: closer to God than stepping out in faith and saying,
Speaker 1: okay God. If this is if Cheatham, Tennessee, is that right,
Speaker 1: Cheatam County. Cheatham County, Tennessee is where you're calling me
Speaker 1: to go. And I don't know anybody, I don't have
Speaker 1: a job. I'm going to go because you're calling me. Dude,
Speaker 1: You're going to be closer to God through that. For sure.
Speaker 1: You're listening to two guys that did this when we're
Speaker 1: in our low twenties. Both of us moved many states
Speaker 1: away to Tennessee. Actually, and I didn't know a single soul.
Speaker 1: You didn't either, and we just completely started new. So
Speaker 1: part of your question is getting closer to God, Well,
Speaker 1: that's getting plugged in right away. To a church in
Speaker 1: Cheatham County. I would go, and you might have to
Speaker 1: go to a couple. You might just sit through a
Speaker 1: couple of Sunday services to feel where it feels like
Speaker 1: that's your personality and these are your people. And when
Speaker 1: you do get plugged in, get involved, go serve with them.
Speaker 1: If they have like a serve Saturday or something where
Speaker 1: they're going to go into the community and cut limbs
Speaker 1: with the chainsaw. Sign up, go do it. Yeah, go
Speaker 1: for it, Wade. You may go to a party and
Speaker 1: meet a buddy who plays the guitar and then y'all
Speaker 1: song swap all night, and then twenty two years later
Speaker 1: do a podcast with them. That's our story. It could happen,
Speaker 1: but that will happen to you, Wade, do it all right.
Speaker 1: Next question says Dating Advice. Hey, I'm Garrett. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: one years old and I'm a custodian and I met
Speaker 1: a para teacher at work I really like and I
Speaker 1: think she likes me too. I'm pretty I have a
Speaker 1: pretty severe stutter, and she's always kind to me and
Speaker 1: gives me compliments, and I give her compliments too. But
Speaker 1: I have never found the courage to ask her out.
Speaker 1: I can only carry out a normal conversation, but when
Speaker 1: I'm about to ask her, I study a stutter pretty
Speaker 1: much the whole conversation. What would you recommend I do? Vulnerable,
Speaker 1: the vulnerable. That's where this that's where this is. Daniel,
Speaker 1: Who are Garrett? Your email says, Daniel Garrett, you are.
Speaker 1: That stutter is part of you, right, that is you
Speaker 1: in a sense, it's what makes you you. So if
Speaker 1: she didn't like the stutter, she didn't like you. So
Speaker 1: she might as well know right from the very beginning.
Speaker 1: You come in and you say, and I've said this
Speaker 1: kind of thing before on this podcast, and so I
Speaker 1: want to say it's difficult to do this, but you
Speaker 1: just say, my name is Garrett. I think you're beautiful
Speaker 1: and I really like you, and I would love to
Speaker 1: grab a coffee with you sometime. Oh, by the way,
Speaker 1: you hear that stutter. I stutter when I'm nervous around
Speaker 1: pretty girls. And so I'm sorry that I can't I
Speaker 1: can't talk completely clearly because I stutter a little bit.
Speaker 1: And I hope you're okay with that. But I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to tell you that I would love to have
Speaker 1: a cup of coffee with you. Yeah. I think that's great.
Speaker 1: I think being your true self because if you try
Speaker 1: to hide it, yeah, it's eventually going to come out
Speaker 1: down the road. And wouldn't you just rather know from
Speaker 1: the jump. Man, this girl likes me for me, all
Speaker 1: of me, the stutters and all the stuff, like she
Speaker 1: knows me from the jump And it sounds like this
Speaker 1: is a it goes away whenever he gets more comfortable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so after you go to coffee and you guys talk
Speaker 1: for a while, maybe it's not as big of a
Speaker 1: deal for her because you're comfortable around here and you
Speaker 1: don't stutter as much around there. It will still be
Speaker 1: a thing in the future for him, always, right, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So what did you say about Jordan Peterson earlier? Something
Speaker 1: about you? If you what is it you said about
Speaker 1: If you're lying, If you don't if you have something
Speaker 1: to say, right and you stay quiet, you're lying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So hiding the stutter from her, trying to hide it
Speaker 1: is essentially lying to her at the beginning. It's tough
Speaker 1: to understand that, but it's the truth because you trying
Speaker 1: to be your best and not stutter is a form
Speaker 1: of a lie instead of just telling her straight up,
Speaker 1: I would love to have coffee with you. And then
Speaker 1: you stutter and you say sorry. Do you hear that?
Speaker 1: That's the stutter? When I get nervous right out there
Speaker 1: you're just being totally truthful and you're being yourself, and
Speaker 1: if she doesn't love that instantly about you, then she's
Speaker 1: the wrong girl. Absolutely. There's nothing more attractive I think
Speaker 1: for a woman or for a man, is somebody who
Speaker 1: is completely confident in their skin who God made them
Speaker 1: to be, with a sense of humility for sure, not
Speaker 1: like an arrogant confidence, but somebody who understands. Man, this
Speaker 1: is who I am, who God made me to be.
Speaker 1: I'm confident and secure in that, and I'm offering that
Speaker 1: to the world. I got nothing to lose here, nothing
Speaker 1: to hide. So next question says, how to find a
Speaker 1: girl that shares your values in faith? Hey, Grandeer, my
Speaker 1: name is Brendan. I'm twenty years old. I'm a Christian
Speaker 1: from Florida. I don't find the party in drinking seem
Speaker 1: very fun, and dating apps seem to be very hit
Speaker 1: or miss. How would you suggest I try to meet someone.
Speaker 1: I'm working full time and going to college and trying
Speaker 1: to make a good life for myself, but it seems
Speaker 1: like other people my age only care about partying. My
Speaker 1: friends and family have always told me I'm a good person,
Speaker 1: but lately I've been doubting that myself. What am I
Speaker 1: doing wrong? Thanks Brendan. Trying to find somebody with your values,
Speaker 1: you just have to narrow the scope of where you're looking.
Speaker 1: You can't you can't go to Chick fil A and
Speaker 1: you're trying to get a stake. It's like, I really
Speaker 1: want to filat Mignon and they're like, well, that's not
Speaker 1: on the menu. Here. You came to the wrong place.
Speaker 1: You came a Chick fil A. You're wanting fla Mignon.
Speaker 1: You're looking in the wrong place. So you're looking for
Speaker 1: a girl and you want her to have the same
Speaker 1: values as you. You've got to change restaurants and you
Speaker 1: know the restaurant, you know the places you like to
Speaker 1: hang out. Yeah, that's good. I think you've said this
Speaker 1: on this podcast before, but I think it's worth repeating
Speaker 1: because it I think it is important in what he's
Speaker 1: going through. I would honestly recommend taking your eyes off
Speaker 1: of this girl that you want to date. You're twenty
Speaker 1: years old, you're young, and there's a whole world in
Speaker 1: front of you. You're a believer, So if you don't
Speaker 1: say I'm a Christian, my answer is probably a little
Speaker 1: bit different. But if you have a Christian worldview, focus
Speaker 1: every bit of your energy on Jesus and chasing after
Speaker 1: him God every morning. Like Granger says, be in the
Speaker 1: word God, what do you want for my life? What
Speaker 1: do you want? Where is it? Where is it? And
Speaker 1: as you're walking in that, I feel like He's going
Speaker 1: to put some passion. I feel like early on for
Speaker 1: both of us it was music and man, that what
Speaker 1: a blessing that He gave us this vision. And girls
Speaker 1: along the way that wanted a date. I was like, no, man,
Speaker 1: God has called me to do this and to spread
Speaker 1: this message in this way, and I am doing that.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I looked to my left and right,
Speaker 1: like you say, and saw somebody that was doing that
Speaker 1: same thing as much as me, and then we kind
Speaker 1: of started hanging out, and then we hung out a
Speaker 1: little more. And so that would be my recommendation, and
Speaker 1: is switch the focus focus on Jesus and just pursue
Speaker 1: His will for your life as hard as you possibly can.
Speaker 1: And don't I think we tend to put a timeline
Speaker 1: on well, I have to like find the girl and
Speaker 1: get married in between this time. If I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: kids at this time, and I'm going to die at
Speaker 1: this time. We're working it back and saying, well, man,
Speaker 1: twenty to twenty five, I gotta find who I'm going
Speaker 1: to spend the rest of my life with. Just throw
Speaker 1: that out the window. That's just that's our culture. And
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's true. I think that you
Speaker 1: just focus on him and in his time and his
Speaker 1: perfect will, that person's going to come along and you're
Speaker 1: going to know it. Yeah that. Jonathan piccluda pastor and
Speaker 1: author in Waco, Texas. He wrote a book called Outdated.
Speaker 1: Highly recommend this book for you, Brendan Outdated, you get
Speaker 1: the audiobook, get the physical copy. But he says something
Speaker 1: very similar to what Bernie just said. He says, chase
Speaker 1: after Christ, live your life as though God is number
Speaker 1: one and glorifying Him is number one in your life.
Speaker 1: And as you're on that path, as you're walking that path,
Speaker 1: the first time you find a girl that is doing
Speaker 1: the same thing that there's honoring God and loving God
Speaker 1: and putting him first, ask her out on a date.
Speaker 1: It's really that simple. Like it's that simple. And if
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen this year or next year or ten years,
Speaker 1: that's okay, but when you do ask her for coffee? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because if you get to the end of your life
Speaker 1: and that person has never come, would you rather look
Speaker 1: back and say, man, I spent the last thirty years
Speaker 1: looking for this person never found, or I spent the
Speaker 1: last thirty years chasing Jesus and I'm ready to go home. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We could find plenty of questions on this podcast of
Speaker 1: bad relationships, like it's probably the next one on the queue.
Speaker 1: It's a bad relationship and here you are without a relationship.
Speaker 1: You're better off? Man? Yeah, okay, ont said another one
Speaker 1: now here It is parents going through divorce subject fine,
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer. First off, First off, absolutely love your music
Speaker 1: and your podcast. My name is Emily. I go to
Speaker 1: Texas A and M Whoop. My parents are recently going
Speaker 1: through the divorce process. My dad has gone about it
Speaker 1: entirely the wrong way and is losing everyone because of it.
Speaker 1: He recently blocked my number. I've nothing but hear him out.
Speaker 1: It's hard because he's my dad, but he's turning into
Speaker 1: someone I don't know. My mom and dad have always
Speaker 1: been close and she deserves none of this. I love
Speaker 1: her with my whole heart and it pains me to
Speaker 1: watch her hurt me. My mom, brother and sister have
Speaker 1: all become so close due to this. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: how to handle it. Thank you, As always in gigam, Emily,
Speaker 1: thank you tough question. Let me point out something that
Speaker 1: you might not have noticed through this, but your very
Speaker 1: last thing you said is me, my mom, my brother,
Speaker 1: and sister have all become so close due to this.
Speaker 1: That's a blessing. Yeah, sometimes we have to look for
Speaker 1: the blessing. They go, wow, it took this terrible situation,
Speaker 1: but now I'm really close with my siblings like I've
Speaker 1: never have been before. Yeah, I'm glad you said that
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of times it's years after
Speaker 1: that we look back, because I think about the relationship
Speaker 1: I had with my brother and sister, everything that we've
Speaker 1: been through in our life lives that has made us
Speaker 1: really stronger, and I'm looking back on it thinking, oh, man,
Speaker 1: what a blessing that was. But now, hearing Granger in
Speaker 1: the moment, maybe you can have that just awareness of
Speaker 1: what's happening in real time. Right now, it's tough. I'm
Speaker 1: still a little bit confused as to why Dad has
Speaker 1: what happened that would one make them divorce and two
Speaker 1: make him block his daughter and his family. He's handling
Speaker 1: it wrong. She said that it's a tough thing for
Speaker 1: a daughter. I think you've talked about this before, for
Speaker 1: a child to have to navigate a parent acting emotionally
Speaker 1: immature or yeah, out of line. I know the right answer,
Speaker 1: and it's the hardest one. The hardest answer is the
Speaker 1: right one here. What do you do about Dad? You
Speaker 1: forgive him and you love him. You can't change his actions,
Speaker 1: but you could change the way you were act to him.
Speaker 1: And so what do you do forgive him? What do
Speaker 1: you do tomorrow? Forgive him again? It doesn't mean you
Speaker 1: condone his actions. It doesn't mean you accept his actions.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you pull him into Thanksgiving and you
Speaker 1: make him sit back at the table. It means none
Speaker 1: of that. It just means in your heart you say, Dad,
Speaker 1: I love you and I forgive you. This situation crushes
Speaker 1: me and Mom doesn't deserve it, and you should never
Speaker 1: block your daughter's number. But I still forgive you because
Speaker 1: I love you, because you're my dad. Have you heard
Speaker 1: that line kindness leads to repentance? Yeah? I hate that
Speaker 1: because it's so true. But it goes against everything in
Speaker 1: the moment that I want to do. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: I want you to see how you messed up, and
Speaker 1: I want to tell you and then I want you
Speaker 1: to apologize and repent of what you've done. Right, But
Speaker 1: kindness really leads to repentance. People hearts are not going
Speaker 1: to get there by you kind of condemning them. So
Speaker 1: I think what you're saying grace and forgiveness and patience
Speaker 1: and kindness, it's going to be really, really tough and
Speaker 1: a burden that as being a college student with your dad,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't really have to bear. But this is the
Speaker 1: lot that God has given you, and you get a
Speaker 1: chance to respond to it the best that you possibly can.
Speaker 1: So I would agree with you, Gris, That's how I'd
Speaker 1: handle it. And love your mom. You know she needs
Speaker 1: you right now, She needs you more than she ever
Speaker 1: has needed you, and so be there for her. Love her.
Speaker 1: If she needs a she needs you to run at
Speaker 1: the convenience store and grab a diet coke, go do it.
Speaker 1: Serve her, serve her and be there for her. Just
Speaker 1: to listen. You don't always have to give advice, but
Speaker 1: just just listen, be there, for her. And when she asked,
Speaker 1: what you're going to do about your dad and she
Speaker 1: wants to work you up, say I'm going to forgive them? What? No,
Speaker 1: he's an ee, but I forgive him, mom, Because essentially
Speaker 1: we're all evil. And like you said, it can be
Speaker 1: really easy for people to associate forgiveness with condoning. Yes,
Speaker 1: and that's not We got to separate those two things.
Speaker 1: That's not biblical at all. Try to stay away from
Speaker 1: the circles that are going to want to gang up
Speaker 1: and just talk gossip. What do you hate about Dad?
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I hate about Dad? And another thing,
Speaker 1: what do you hate about dad? We all hate Dad.
Speaker 1: Let's gid him. Yeah, just avoid that, walk out of
Speaker 1: the room if that starts happening, and just or just
Speaker 1: tell people, hey, I still love him, He's still Dad.
Speaker 1: What Yes? I do? I do? And and I hope,
Speaker 1: I hope that one day if and when I mess up,
Speaker 1: you forgive me because you know what God has So
Speaker 1: try to live that of not it's not easy, Emily,
Speaker 1: it's not easy, But that's the posture I would take
Speaker 1: with this. And it's not quick. Just so you know
Speaker 1: it's it's going to be a while. Next question, subject
Speaker 1: line says mentally exhausted. I've been mentally exhausted and feel
Speaker 1: drained when going to sleep and waking up. My life
Speaker 1: feels good. I'm working every day, I go to school.
Speaker 1: I don't have a relationship, but I have plenty of friends.
Speaker 1: Why am I so exhausted physically and mentally? Matthew? This
Speaker 1: is a great question for Bernie. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what he's gonna say, But if I was feeling this
Speaker 1: mentally and physically exhausted, you would say time for the wilderness.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you speak into Matthew about your wilderness talk? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think Matthew, without knowing you and without knowing all
Speaker 1: the circumstances of your life, it sounds like he said
Speaker 1: he has a good life. Yeah. I think that we
Speaker 1: live in just a different culture now, where there's so
Speaker 1: much stimulation and we're having a so information. I feel
Speaker 1: like I could stop my life right now and spend
Speaker 1: the rest of it thinking through and processing everything that
Speaker 1: I've experienced up to now. Unfortunately that's not going to happen,
Speaker 1: like I'm still going to be consuming more experiences and
Speaker 1: information to process. I think if you can develop a habit,
Speaker 1: and this is really hard. It's hard for me. It's
Speaker 1: a discipline that we just have to keep getting better at.
Speaker 1: But stillness and solitude, be alone with your thoughts. I
Speaker 1: think practicing mental exercises for me. I do it every morning,
Speaker 1: and I do it with the motivation of God. I
Speaker 1: want my heart, soul, mind, and strength to glorify you
Speaker 1: to its fullest capability. And so in the same way
Speaker 1: that I'm eating healthy foods and I'm exercising my body,
Speaker 1: and I'm reading your word and I'm filling up with
Speaker 1: you every morning, I'm doing the same thing from my mind.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to focus in every moment
Speaker 1: on your word and what you're willing is calling me to.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm going to have some mental exercises
Speaker 1: that help me. These distractions come in and I just
Speaker 1: I mentally push them away and then I can come
Speaker 1: back to focus. When you walk through the wilderness, I
Speaker 1: think what happens is you give yourself the space to
Speaker 1: really sort through a lot of these thoughts that keep
Speaker 1: making you mentally exhausted. So I would give yourself some space.
Speaker 1: Journal Granger always talks about journaling, just getting those things
Speaker 1: when you read them, you can either dismiss them as
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know why I keep thinking about that,
Speaker 1: but you won't do that until you actually see it,
Speaker 1: or you can understand that. Man, there's maybe there's something
Speaker 1: here that I need to really just sit with and process.
Speaker 1: There's there's a deeper issue here as to why I
Speaker 1: keep coming back here. If you're mentally exhausted, one, you
Speaker 1: have to think about what you're putting in your body.
Speaker 1: That's the food that you're eating, that drinks that you're drinking,
Speaker 1: but also what are you looking at, what are you watching?
Speaker 1: I talked about the you know, the phones earlier, of
Speaker 1: spending so much time looking at your phones. All of
Speaker 1: those things matter. What is going in and if you're
Speaker 1: overloading the system, it's just going to be exhausted. So
Speaker 1: give yourself some space, consider what it is that you're
Speaker 1: putting in, and then maybe redesign how your mental life
Speaker 1: could look moving forward. That's great. I would ask this
Speaker 1: question if this was me. I'd ask this to Bernie
Speaker 1: because he thinks through this kind of stuff. And I
Speaker 1: think you mentioned some great things like food, your food,
Speaker 1: you feel drained when you're going to sleep, and waking up.
Speaker 1: There's a good book called Everything Starts with Food, and yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a way of looking at there's certain things that
Speaker 1: you're putting in your body that you don't even know
Speaker 1: that could be deffecting you. And it doesn't necessarily have
Speaker 1: to be chocolate or sugar. It could be it could
Speaker 1: be beans, or bread or tomatoes. It could be something simple.
Speaker 1: As you kind of dissect what you're putting in your body,
Speaker 1: you realize, yeah, I don't react good with bread. Could
Speaker 1: just be you. And then I would say, you know,
Speaker 1: get some kind of workout routine. You get some kind
Speaker 1: of workout routine going whatever suit you. I don't care
Speaker 1: if it's jogging or walking, or strength training or treadmill
Speaker 1: or yoga, I don't I don't care. Find something that
Speaker 1: fits your personality and stick with it three to seven
Speaker 1: days a week. Do it and you'll sleep better. You'll
Speaker 1: sleep better, and then when you sleep better, you wake
Speaker 1: up better. And then the mental thing, it sounds like
Speaker 1: you're gonna need an electronic sabbath. Make it make a day.
Speaker 1: This is gonna happen when you're you come to the
Speaker 1: point of emailing me saying you're mentally exhausted, you're gonna say, Okay.
Speaker 1: On on Sundays, I'm gonna I'm gonna stayway from elect
Speaker 1: tronics completely. I'm gonna avoid screens and electronics and and
Speaker 1: I'll probably do some kind of camping trip where I
Speaker 1: go out by myself. I'm gonna go in the woods
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna camp in a tent with no electronics,
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna make a fire. I'm gonna cook
Speaker 1: some hot dogs on the fire, and I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: stare at the fire and listen to the wind and codies,
Speaker 1: and man, I think I want to go. You're making
Speaker 1: as I don't know. Man, these are this is how
Speaker 1: you could And then if you come back and you
Speaker 1: feel a little bit better, then you go, oh that worked.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it again in two weeks, and and
Speaker 1: then practically every day every single day. Man. iPhone has
Speaker 1: gotten pretty good with designing the phone where you could
Speaker 1: set it up where like mine, mine turns off it
Speaker 1: like eight point thirty. It goes into it shuts down
Speaker 1: all the apps I don't need, and it puts it
Speaker 1: on silent and or do not disturb, and then it
Speaker 1: doesn't kick on till like eight am the next morning,
Speaker 1: and then it allows me to use those apps again.
Speaker 1: So and I don't sleep with my phone. I think
Speaker 1: that's important too. When I take a shower, start winding down,
Speaker 1: my phone goes to the charger and I don't see
Speaker 1: it again until the next morning. And if I do
Speaker 1: need to see it again, those apps are shut down.
Speaker 1: So iPhone and I'm sure Android does too, but they've
Speaker 1: set up a lot of really cool things to say, Hey,
Speaker 1: this is the time of day when I'm going to
Speaker 1: use it, and this is the time of day I'm
Speaker 1: not falling asleep on the pillow. Staring at your phone
Speaker 1: is I think one of the worst things you could
Speaker 1: do for your mental health. Yep, because you used to
Speaker 1: go unconscious, and even if you've got to check a
Speaker 1: post or something, you go unconscious by looking at all
Speaker 1: that you just go down this rabbit hole and then
Speaker 1: before you know it, you're exhausted and you're still staring
Speaker 1: at the phone. So go put it in another room
Speaker 1: and set it up where you can't touch it after
Speaker 1: a certain time at night. I think that's going to
Speaker 1: help a lot all those things. Yeah, I mean, you
Speaker 1: think about if you what happens if your diet is
Speaker 1: just sugar, alcohol, caffeine. Yeah, well, I mean it's a
Speaker 1: terrible diet, my guitar player. Yeah, nobody's going to recommend
Speaker 1: that diet. But yet there's things mentally that we feed
Speaker 1: ourselves that are the equivalent. But we haven't yet yet
Speaker 1: because I think there's studies that are happening now that
Speaker 1: are going to be eye opening associated screen time and
Speaker 1: the things that we're actually looking at with the mental
Speaker 1: exhaustion that he's talking about right now. So man, that's
Speaker 1: all we got today. Thank you for coming. Bro awesome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: time flies when you're having fun. Man. Thank you guys
Speaker 1: for listening. See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me
Speaker 1: on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys.
Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that
Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye