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Speaker 1: I know the right answer, and it's the hardest one.

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Speaker 1: The hardest answer is the right one. Here. What do

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Speaker 1: you do about dad? You forgive them and you love them?

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Speaker 1: What's up? Guys? Welcome to the podcast. Wherever you're coming from,

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Speaker 1: we're just grateful to have you. Whatever platform you came

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Speaker 1: from or found out about this podcast with, or maybe

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Speaker 1: you're a longtime listener. Thank you. If you are a

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Speaker 1: longtime listener, you remember my guest Bernie Calcote. Awesome, awesome

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Speaker 1: guest and great friend. You've been with me for twenty

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Speaker 1: two years or something like that, and you've always been

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Speaker 1: the guy that helped me dissect problems that I've had

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Speaker 1: in my life. You've always been the one that give

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Speaker 1: me sound advice. And so because of the format of

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Speaker 1: this podcast giving other people advice, I want to be

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Speaker 1: able to use your advice for others. Yeah, happy to

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Speaker 1: be here and thankful for the invite. Back. Man, you've

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Speaker 1: been on probably be a while fifteen episodes, Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: been a while, though maybe more maybe twenty. Yeah, have

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Speaker 1: you missed me? You've been doing an like how is

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Speaker 1: it doing it solo versus with a guest solo, because

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Speaker 1: sometimes you'll be by yourself and man, you'll be getting

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Speaker 1: fired up, and I can tell you just want to

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Speaker 1: look at somebody and be like you feel me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's easier to not have a schedule and just

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Speaker 1: go I'm gonna knock out a podcast and hit record. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's harder because I have to talk the whole time, right,

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Speaker 1: I don't get to breathe. Yeah, So if you have

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Speaker 1: a question, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, and

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Speaker 1: that's where we're gonna read from today, out of order,

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Speaker 1: not prompted, no notes in front of us. Bernie has

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Speaker 1: no idea what's coming at him, and I don't either,

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Speaker 1: So we're going to go into this right now. Subject

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Speaker 1: line of this first one says still living with the

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Speaker 1: in laws. Question comes from Rosy says, Hey, Grange, and

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Speaker 1: my husband and I are coming up on our tenure innniversary,

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Speaker 1: yet we still live with his parents. We have three

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Speaker 1: dogs excuse me, three kids, a service dog. We desperately

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Speaker 1: want to move out of the house, but every time

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Speaker 1: we mention a word or hint about moving, his parents panic.

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Speaker 1: They tell us they will that if we leave, they

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Speaker 1: will surely die. They say they can't live without us.

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Speaker 1: Yet they are verbally abusive to myself and my husband.

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Speaker 1: They yell at my kids every day. Don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 1: they mean well, they could be nice and sweet. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I just feel like the stress is eating us all.

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Speaker 1: How can we deal with this and still honor them?

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Speaker 1: Currently living in California praying to move to Texas. This

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Speaker 1: comes from Rosie. Wow, there's a lot of people that

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Speaker 1: are in California praying to move to Texas. I feel

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Speaker 1: like there are. I was just in California and heard

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Speaker 1: from a lot of them. Yeah. Wow, so ten years,

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming that they've been with the in laws of

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Speaker 1: the entire time. Yeah, So, I think Rosie's Rosie's issue

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Speaker 1: here is that we've said on this podcast a lot

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Speaker 1: that you know, there's a principle to honor your your

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Speaker 1: mother and father, but but there's there's there's counteracting principles

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Speaker 1: in this situation of parents honoring the children of the

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Speaker 1: man getting married and moving away from mom and dad.

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Speaker 1: So there's there's some conflicting principles to talk about here.

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Speaker 1: How do you start this conversation with Rosie? Well, the

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Speaker 1: first thing that sticks out to me with Rosie is

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Speaker 1: that I believe and this podcast is always going to

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Speaker 1: be tough. Love so love you, Rosie and and all

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Speaker 1: you people that are writing in. I love that you

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Speaker 1: trust us with something that is such a deep question

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Speaker 1: for you and your family. And after I get that

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Speaker 1: out of the way, I want to say that I

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Speaker 1: feel like this this is falling more on your husband's shoulders,

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Speaker 1: this is yours. This is something your husband needs to

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Speaker 1: man up. He got three kids. Yeah, he needs to

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Speaker 1: man up. And I'm one hundred percent rosy for moving

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Speaker 1: and and I think you could honor them and still move.

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Speaker 1: And I think you could. You could say we love

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Speaker 1: you guys. We were so grateful for the opportunity to

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Speaker 1: stay here and to have this foundation at home, but

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Speaker 1: we have to in order to really blossom our own family,

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Speaker 1: we have to leave. We have to leave the nest,

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Speaker 1: and we want to come back and visit. If they

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Speaker 1: were on hospice or something like with cancer, and it

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Speaker 1: might be a little different. That doesn't sound like that's

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Speaker 1: what's going on here. It sounds like they just have

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Speaker 1: some parents that are that are needy. Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think the husband guy, Rosie's husband, like you said, needs

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Speaker 1: to man up. And it's so hard without you sitting

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Speaker 1: next to us, and us be able to ask you

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Speaker 1: questions like why is there another reason why you have

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Speaker 1: been there other than the parents or the in laws

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Speaker 1: trying to be controlling. I think that. I mean, if

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Speaker 1: these are reasonable people, they're gonna understand. Oh yeah, of

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Speaker 1: course you need your own space and you need to

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Speaker 1: move out. It doesn't mean that they're abandoning, you know,

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Speaker 1: the in laws. And maybe it's just a small step.

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Speaker 1: You know, Granger always talks about these things that you know,

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Speaker 1: we're standing in front of the mountain and it's just

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Speaker 1: too much. It's overwhelming to think about, you know, moving

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Speaker 1: from California to Texas and really abandoned. Maybe you just

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Speaker 1: move down the street. Hey, we're gon We're gonna start small.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna move down the street. We're still gonna come

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Speaker 1: over for a brunch on Sundays and the kids can

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Speaker 1: come over and and then kind of maybe a slower

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Speaker 1: process and just see how that is. Texas is a

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Speaker 1: long way. Yeah, that's a big step. Yep. Maybe that's

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Speaker 1: part of the of the issue. And this falls on

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Speaker 1: the husbands shoulders and Rosie. It's going to be a tough,

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Speaker 1: tough situation. It's gonna be a tough conversation with your

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Speaker 1: husband because you also want to honor him, but he

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Speaker 1: needs to step up as the leader of the family

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Speaker 1: and man up and say, my wife's not happy, my

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Speaker 1: kids are being verbally abused. We're going to move out,

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Speaker 1: and we're going to still going to come visit and

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Speaker 1: still be here for you. But but yeah, you're right, Rosie,

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Speaker 1: your intuition here is right. Your question. I think everything

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Speaker 1: is right. If there's verbal abuse going up, or abuse

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Speaker 1: in any kind going on, you need to remove your

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Speaker 1: kids and yourself from the situation. And regardless of being

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Speaker 1: sensitive to the in laws or I understand you need

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Speaker 1: to be delicate, but I mean, your husband and your

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Speaker 1: kids are your first priority, so you need to get

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Speaker 1: them to a safe place. Yep, yeah, sorry, Rosie. Tough spot.

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Speaker 1: It's time to go, start small, It's time to go. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: time to go. Okay. Next question, subject line says, my

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Speaker 1: best friend is liking my exes post. Hey, grade, I'd

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Speaker 1: like to remain anonymous. My best friend started liking my

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Speaker 1: ex's Instagram post after we broke up, and even added

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Speaker 1: her on Facebook post breakup. We had a healthy dialogue

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Speaker 1: about that and how it was making me feel. So

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Speaker 1: he respectfully stopped several months of pass now, and I

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Speaker 1: noticed he recently started doing it again. They weren't friends

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Speaker 1: before we started dating, which makes me question his motives.

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Speaker 1: Is this my own insecurity kicking in or do I

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Speaker 1: have a reason to reevaluate whether I could trust this

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Speaker 1: friend moving forward? How would you handle the situation? Thanks

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Speaker 1: for all you do anonymous social media. Anonymous, You're probably

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Speaker 1: not gonna listen to me, but if you wanted to,

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Speaker 1: you know, get a wild hair and say, you know,

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Speaker 1: take advice of Granger's friend burns, delete your social media account,

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Speaker 1: maybe get off your phone for a while. Guys, these devices,

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Speaker 1: I don't believe that we were made as humans to

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Speaker 1: be able to have access to as many options and

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Speaker 1: people and relationships to manage and to sort through that

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Speaker 1: we do it is. I mean, there's so much depression

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Speaker 1: and anxiety and struggle that it's causing because we're not

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Speaker 1: made to do that. And so if you want to

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Speaker 1: be bold and not have to deal with that, just

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Speaker 1: get off of it. Maybe it's just for a time, Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's not get crazy. I mean, I'm trying to convince

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Speaker 1: Leslie to let me get a flip phone and get

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Speaker 1: rid of my phone. But I understand that's extreme, So

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Speaker 1: maybe let's not go that far. Let's start with just

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Speaker 1: maybe take a break from social media for a while,

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Speaker 1: so that you get to be where your feed are,

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Speaker 1: you get to be present and the only information in

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Speaker 1: things you're having to deal with or what's in front

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Speaker 1: of you right now. Maybe start there. Yeah, so what

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Speaker 1: Bernie's doing here is anonymous. He's he's telling you in

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Speaker 1: a way that you have to take responsibility for this.

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Speaker 1: You're because that's why, because that's the only thing you

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Speaker 1: can control is your own responsibility to the situation. You

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Speaker 1: can't control your ex, you can't control your friend, and

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Speaker 1: but what you can control is not seeing it and

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Speaker 1: not letting it affect you. So you take, first of all,

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Speaker 1: take responsibility for yourself in this situation, because you're going

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Speaker 1: to get better now now just dissecting the problem itself.

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Speaker 1: She's an ex, right, you're not together, she's not your property,

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Speaker 1: And there's not really a rule that says that. So

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Speaker 1: much time has gone by and your friend could never

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Speaker 1: like an Instagram picture, and I don't think that has

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Speaker 1: anything to do with trusting him moving forward, either yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think she may be or he or she may

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Speaker 1: be taking it personally when they don't need to. People

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Speaker 1: are doing their own thing, and most of the time

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Speaker 1: it has more to do with them than it does

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Speaker 1: with you, and so I maybe wouldn't take it personally.

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Speaker 1: And let me say one more thing and then I

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Speaker 1: promise ione to get off my social media digital information soapbox,

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Speaker 1: because there's a lot I've noticed a lot of really

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Speaker 1: young listeners to this podcast. A lot of people that

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Speaker 1: ride in they're fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old. Right,

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Speaker 1: So guys, just take a minute and just consider the

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Speaker 1: effects that your phone has on your life. Go into

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Speaker 1: your settings and look at screen time and just look

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Speaker 1: at the number of hours per day that you are

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Speaker 1: looking at your phone, and then you can multiply that,

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Speaker 1: I think times each hour you know that's in there average,

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Speaker 1: it's like fifteen days per year. This is a scary

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Speaker 1: experiment for you guys to do. When I did it,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness. But if you if

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Speaker 1: you do that, you'll start to realize how dependent you

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Speaker 1: are on that device. A lot of it can be

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Speaker 1: spent on social media. So just aware, maybe be aware

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Speaker 1: and that there's people around you, and there's things around

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Speaker 1: you that could use your focus and attention and maybe

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Speaker 1: it'll end up helping you a So that's it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let me piggyback one last thing on that we keep

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Speaker 1: saying one last thing. If you say you need Facebook

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Speaker 1: for work or there's a legitimate reason there is, there

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Speaker 1: is this idea that you should always block your ex anyway,

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Speaker 1: just block her. Maybe you can't get off Facebook, maybe

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Speaker 1: you need something you know, you need to do it

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Speaker 1: for work, but you need to block her. Absolutely. You

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Speaker 1: can't wake up in the morning and think what is

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Speaker 1: she doing and look her up on Facebook and then

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Speaker 1: see your friend like the post that is that's damaging

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Speaker 1: your day, is damaging your mind, it's hurting your heart,

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Speaker 1: it's it's prolonging the heartbreak. So when you break up

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Speaker 1: with someone and and it's done, it sounds like this

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Speaker 1: is done in this story. You need to block her

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Speaker 1: and if you need to tell her, hey, great, if

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Speaker 1: you need to, if you need to shoot her attacks

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Speaker 1: and say hey, I just need to tell you so

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Speaker 1: that you know this is not personal to you. This

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Speaker 1: is this is not me hating you, but this is

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Speaker 1: me working on myself and needing to be better because

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Speaker 1: I'm heartsick, and in order for me to get better,

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Speaker 1: I hope you understand that I'm going to block you,

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Speaker 1: not for a hate reason, but just for the reason

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Speaker 1: that I can't for my own sanity look at you

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Speaker 1: every day on Facebook. Problem solved. Yeah, I think that's

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Speaker 1: your answer right there. As far as your friend, if

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Speaker 1: he starts dating her, I mean, worst case he marries her,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's gonna that could happen, but I don't

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Speaker 1: think that's a trust issue. She's kind of free game, right. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I wonder how old these people are too. They didn't

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Speaker 1: say today, No, okay, man, we're kind of We're kind

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Speaker 1: of gonna go to something similar here. Next question says, hey, Gradeur,

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Speaker 1: I'm Zach from Cincinnati. Have been struggling recently with my girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: She's very beautiful and I love her. She posts a

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Speaker 1: lot of bikini pictures and videos on social media. I

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Speaker 1: get worried and jealous that she's doing this for attention.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any advice? Oh my gosh, but it's real,

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Speaker 1: This is real. These are real problems today twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 1: These are real problems, very real problems. So can I

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Speaker 1: have a plug for strong father, Strong daughters. Go for it.

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Speaker 1: If you haven't read that book and you're a dad

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Speaker 1: out there of a daughter, please go read it. It

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Speaker 1: is incredible, Strong father, Strong Daughters. Because I think there

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Speaker 1: who knows. We can't we can't assume the intentions of

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Speaker 1: this girl. We can only take Did he say his

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Speaker 1: name za Zach from Cincinnati? Okay? His I think he

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Speaker 1: has a right to be kind of like feeling a

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Speaker 1: little weird, right, yeah, I mean sure, I would probably

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Speaker 1: feel weird, like sure, So I don't I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to tell him. What do you say to her?

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Speaker 1: I would say, there is I would say there's one

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Speaker 1: scenario where this works out. Two, there's two scenarios. One,

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Speaker 1: she's a model and she's doing this because she's getting

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Speaker 1: paid and that's her job. Two, she and I knew

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Speaker 1: a girl like this at one point. She actually designed

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Speaker 1: and made bikinis for a living, and she used other

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Speaker 1: girls as to model the new the new line, the

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Speaker 1: new summer line, and then she modeled a few times

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Speaker 1: herself the new design. She literally knit them in her

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Speaker 1: house and made these bikinis. Okay, those are your two reasons.

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Speaker 1: I don't think this is either one of those things.

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Speaker 1: If she's I always am wary about anyone that's posting

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Speaker 1: too many pictures with no friends in it. It's just

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Speaker 1: them and there's no reason, there's nothing to promote behind

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Speaker 1: it besides promoting their own ego. That's always a little

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Speaker 1: weird to me. So like if I friend someone on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: say someone say it's a radio personality, okay, or in

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Speaker 1: a meet them and we become friends on Instagram and

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Speaker 1: I look at their profile and it's every picture is

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Speaker 1: nothing but themselves. Everyone. There's no friends, our dogs, our

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Speaker 1: parents or spouse. It's like, what's going on here? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's weird. It's weird. So Zach, let's get practical. The

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Speaker 1: practical step first is just talking to her. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like he's young, he's pretty young. I'm guessing just say hey,

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Speaker 1: I'll be totally honest. If you're gonna be very vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna admit something that's embarrassing. But I'm a little

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Speaker 1: I'm a little weirded out. I'm a little a little

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Speaker 1: jealous that you post these pictures for the world to see.

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Speaker 1: And she's not gonna take that very well. Probably but

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Speaker 1: then you're gonna find a lot out about your relationship

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Speaker 1: at that point. If she's like, Hey, I want what's

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Speaker 1: best for us in this relationship. If that's weird, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna stop doing it. You got a winner. Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: a great, great answer, But I don't think she's gonna

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Speaker 1: say that. Yeah. Yeah, she's probably emotionally developing just like you.

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Speaker 1: You know, they're in that kind of phase of like

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out, you know, who they are and

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Speaker 1: what they can trust and what they can't. And they

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Speaker 1: either are looking putting things out there to see like

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Speaker 1: what gets the attention the kind that they want. So

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Man, she's going to get more likes

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Speaker 1: if she's in a bikini then if she's in a

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Speaker 1: button up shirt, Yeah for sure. But maybe that's the

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Speaker 1: question for for her from him is like, hey, is

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Speaker 1: my attention not enough? Great? Is my the way that

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Speaker 1: I love you and adore you and we'll do anything

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Speaker 1: for you? Is that not enough? Because these photos it's

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Speaker 1: kind of you saying like, hey, I need I need

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Speaker 1: your attention and your millions of people. I need your

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Speaker 1: attention and your affirmation, Like are my words not affirming enough?

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Speaker 1: And if not, then why Like it could be the

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Speaker 1: start of a really deep, beautiful conversation or it could

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Speaker 1: be the beginning of a break up. Yeah, but either way,

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Speaker 1: I think you got to speak up, Zach. It's time.

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Speaker 1: It's time, Zach bring it up to her. Let's hit

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Speaker 1: another one. This says navigating parenthood and God. Hello. I'm

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Speaker 1: the mom of three and I had a tough childhood.

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Speaker 1: My mom was a huge Christian and shared custody of

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Speaker 1: me and my sister with our biological dad. He was

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Speaker 1: and still is a non believer. He tried to convince

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Speaker 1: me as a kid that God is not real. To

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Speaker 1: give you an accurate picture of this, he had six

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Speaker 1: six six tattooed on his neck. We no longer speak

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Speaker 1: at all. Fast forward. I've worked through lots of anxiety

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Speaker 1: around religion and have tried going to church, but I

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Speaker 1: still struggle. I have three kids, ten, six and two.

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Speaker 1: My ten year old recently had what I think was

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Speaker 1: an anxiety attack. He asked me if life is real

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Speaker 1: and how do we know that God is real? And

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Speaker 1: he was crying pretty hard. What advice would you give

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Speaker 1: me and my husband to navigate through this with him?

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Speaker 1: These are questions I still struggle with given my past

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Speaker 1: trauma around religion. We go to church and we are believers,

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Speaker 1: but it's still a very vulnerable subject in our house.

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Speaker 1: Between my husband and me, we can almost discount the

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Speaker 1: the dad talk, the six six six dad, So that

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Speaker 1: was her dad, that was her dad, but he's not

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Speaker 1: in the picture anymore. So, so she was raised by

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Speaker 1: her mom, shared custody with mom, who is a believer, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and not believe her dad. Okay, But now her and

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Speaker 1: her husband they're just wrestling with how to talk to through,

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Speaker 1: how to know if God is real with their son

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Speaker 1: who is ten, ten six and two. Yeah, So I

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Speaker 1: think the dad, kind of the grandpa is kind of

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Speaker 1: irrelevant a little bit, right, But she's still it sounds

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Speaker 1: like she's still Maybe she's just recognizing that she probably

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Speaker 1: had doubts in her life as well through a broken

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Speaker 1: marriage that she was raised in. So we're going to

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Speaker 1: talk about here, and this is it's great. This is

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Speaker 1: great for Bernie and I because Bernie, you have a twelve, twelve, nine, twelve,

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Speaker 1: nine and five and I have a ten and an

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Speaker 1: eight and a newborn, so so we we know what

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Speaker 1: ten is like. Bernie has had one and I have

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Speaker 1: one now, and it's it's it is a critical This

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Speaker 1: is critical is for parenting right now at this age.

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Speaker 1: So how do we know how do we explain to

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Speaker 1: a child that God is real? Well, it's going to

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Speaker 1: really it's going to start with it's going to start

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Speaker 1: with parents honoring the Word of God through their lives. YEP.

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Speaker 1: So for instance, when your your son has a baseball

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Speaker 1: game tournament on Sunday morning at eight o'clock and you say,

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Speaker 1: we're going to skip this turn ornament because we're going

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Speaker 1: to church on Sunday morning, that's an example of living

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Speaker 1: by the Word of God through your actions, so that

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Speaker 1: he could see, oh, this is really important, Like this

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Speaker 1: is a big deal. Going to church must be a

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Speaker 1: really big deal to mom and dad and you, Mom, Julie,

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Speaker 1: this is your name. You're saying, we go to church

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Speaker 1: and we're believers. But it's but you struggle with religion,

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Speaker 1: so it's important for them to see that you're not

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Speaker 1: struggling with it. Yeah, that was the first thing that

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, is your kids understanding that we're all

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Speaker 1: kind of wrestling. I have talks with Boston all the

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Speaker 1: time of like, man, do this parenting thing is hard. Like,

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Speaker 1: I love you so much and I want this for you,

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Speaker 1: but I also want to let you make your decisions

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Speaker 1: and your good choices and bad choices. But I feel

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Speaker 1: like the best ministry that I have to my kids,

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Speaker 1: like you said, is the way that I relate my

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Speaker 1: life to the Word of God. So they don't just

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Speaker 1: see Sunday morning we go to church, but they see

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Speaker 1: the way that we stop and we talk to the

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Speaker 1: homeless person on the corner, and that we have these

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Speaker 1: bags in our car already made it so we can

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Speaker 1: so we can help them and do something. The way

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Speaker 1: that the music that we listen to is, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's glorifying to God. There's there's all of these things

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Speaker 1: that are pouring out of a genuine heart posture that

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Speaker 1: wants to glorify God with my life. That I think

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Speaker 1: that that even though I may fumble through the actual

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Speaker 1: words of you know, telling them about the story of

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Speaker 1: the Gospel, maybe it's not eloquent and maybe it's kind

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Speaker 1: of fumbled around, But the way we live our lives

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Speaker 1: out of that love that we have, I think that's

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Speaker 1: the best way we communicate it. Yeah, Paul says, and

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Speaker 1: his epistles. He'll say that the evidence of God is

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Speaker 1: all around us. We're left without excuse, and that's in

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Speaker 1: creation itself. That means sometimes you take a vacation with

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Speaker 1: your kids to the Grand Canyon and you walk out

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Speaker 1: to the edge of the Grand Canyon and you tell

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Speaker 1: your kids as you're looking at it and everyone's in

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Speaker 1: awe of it, you say, isn't God incredible? Look at this?

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Speaker 1: Look at this place? Isn't God incredible? And your six

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Speaker 1: year old and your two year old are hearing that,

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Speaker 1: they're left without an excuse to go. This wasn't an accident.

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Speaker 1: This was by design. You step out in your front

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Speaker 1: yard when a big storm comes in in June and

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Speaker 1: the clouds roll in and the big thunderheads and all

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Speaker 1: the colors and the lightning, and you look up and

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Speaker 1: you go, God is incredible. Look at this. God is incredible.

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Speaker 1: And they're going to look at you and go, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I see that. I see it now. And it also

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Speaker 1: happens through your own struggles, because we struggle. Believers will struggle,

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Speaker 1: and you through your struggle you say, I'm I'm mommy,

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Speaker 1: why are you crying? I'm just I'm so sad, but

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Speaker 1: I know through my tears and through my sadness, I

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Speaker 1: know that that God has a plan, that God has

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Speaker 1: a purpose, and so I trust God has a purpose

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Speaker 1: even though I'm crying and I'm hurting, and this is

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Speaker 1: very hard we lost grandma or whatever. But you relate

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Speaker 1: to your kids. You speak out loud that we lost

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Speaker 1: grandma and I'm so sad, but I know that I'm trusting.

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Speaker 1: I'm trusting the purpose of God in this, and they're

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Speaker 1: soaking that in they're absorbing that from mom. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think that's great. I would suggest to Julie, and Granger

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Speaker 1: says this on this podcast all the time, which I

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Speaker 1: think is awesome and honestly has impacted me in my

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Speaker 1: spiritual walk in my life. Is you, Julie personally, just

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Speaker 1: dig into the Word every morning if you possibly can,

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Speaker 1: because out of that, you're gonna know what to say,

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Speaker 1: You're gonna know what to do. It's just going to

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Speaker 1: be natural that your kids are gonna be like, wow,

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Speaker 1: there is My mom just gives credit to God for

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Speaker 1: all things. So that's where they're going to place their trust.

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Speaker 1: Is like, no, well God made this and God did this.

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Speaker 1: Not well, I worked hard and I got this job

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Speaker 1: or this house is like, oh no, man, God is

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Speaker 1: so good. So yeah, I would just dig into the

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Speaker 1: word and start there. And when you do that, Julie,

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Speaker 1: for instance, for me, I read the Bible every morning,

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Speaker 1: and I've purposely made my place where I read in

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Speaker 1: our living room where the kids wake up and have

426
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: to walk past me, so that every morning they see

427
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:52,719
Speaker 1: the Dad is living for this word. It's a lifeline

428
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: because although I mess up and I struggle and I

429
00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: stumble through life, I'm going back to be renew dude.

430
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 1: Every morning. I'm going back to the source because I

431
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 1: need it. Because literally my life depends on those words.

432
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: And I want my kids the first thing in the

433
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: morning to see Dad is going back to be refueled

434
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: this morning. Yesterday he struggled through something, anything, but he's

435
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: being He's being renewed today because he has to, not

436
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: because he wants to, or because it's an it's a

437
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: hobby or a habit, but because his life depends on it.

438
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 1: And I want them to get older and get into

439
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: their twenties and look back on being young and be like,

440
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: I remember, Dad, what do you remember about your dad?

441
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: I remember he got up every morning before we were

442
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 1: up and he was in there reading the Bible with

443
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: his eyes wide open, like he had to read it.

444
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,360
Speaker 1: I want them to think that, and then I want

445
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: them to do it. Yeah, let's take a break, beer back.

446
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,639
Speaker 1: All right, we're just going down the list. Reading these

447
00:26:54,720 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 1: questions got my secret weapon guest Bernie cal go with us.

448
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 1: And this next one says, dear granger, I recently went

449
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: through a two year relationship. I thought the girl was

450
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 1: the right one for me, and she tried manipulating me

451
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: into coming back into a relationship with her, and I

452
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: told her that it was not going to work out

453
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 1: because I was depressed for two weeks after she broke

454
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 1: up with me. But my mom told me that I'm

455
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: better off without a relationship, especially when that's going to

456
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: break my heart. I told her I'd rather stay single

457
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: for a couple of years. I've even made plans to

458
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: move out to Oregon, where I live, to move out

459
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,399
Speaker 1: to Cheatham County, Tennessee and start a new life. Looking

460
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: for some relationship advice in any tips. I'm getting closer

461
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 1: to God and starting a new life in a new town.

462
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 1: I'm nervous to go, but I'm also looking forward to this.

463
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,880
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five years old. Okay, so there's a lot

464
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 1: of questions in there, relocation, closer to God, relationships. Yeah,

465
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: and if y'all have a question, email Grangersmith Podcast at

466
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. I have a couple requests. One, keep

467
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 1: it about a phone length long. That's a perfect length

468
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 1: to read. If it gets longer than a phone length,

469
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: then it's harder to read on the podcast. My second

470
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 1: request is make sure you it's it's better if you

471
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 1: put periods in commas. I'm shocked with the questions that don't.

472
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: It's like a long question and there's not a single

473
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: period in the whole question. Is that like a phone

474
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 1: that's like a texting thing? I guess. So, I mean

475
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: just everything's so casual these days. We have you know,

476
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: abbreviate words tots magoats or tots sobs or whatever it is.

477
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 1: And I'm definitely man getting old, like really fast, because

478
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: I'm looking at like some of the younger cultural things

479
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, oh, back in my day, we

480
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 1: did like sorry guys, old man moment. So he did

481
00:28:55,680 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: he say anonymous? No? So this is Wade. This comes

482
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 1: from Wade, and so Wade just going through like Bernie

483
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: said a lot of different things here, But I think

484
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 1: you're right for not going back to this girl that

485
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: you went through this relationship with. You broke your heart,

486
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: she manipulated you. Good for you, man, that you're making

487
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 1: a step that a lot of people have troubled doing,

488
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: and you're you're recognizing that, Hey, I was really hurt

489
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: after this breakup, and I'm going to get out of it.

490
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go back into it. In fact,

491
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go into any relationship right now

492
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: until I feel confident in myself and confident as a

493
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: single person. So good for you, man. Sometimes in doing

494
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 1: that is an exercise of doing that, you have to

495
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: move out of your hometown. Yeah, you're doing that. Yeah,

496
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: So what's the question here? He's just looking over and

497
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: looking from the future. Yeah, for some advice, I think

498
00:29:54,200 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 1: there's three words for old Wade. Mama knows best. With

499
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: what Mama said, she said, you don't need to go

500
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: back with her. I think that opens the door. You're

501
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 1: twenty five, you're still young. Move I actually moved. You

502
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: moved to Tennessee younger than that, younger than that. So

503
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 1: we moved Tennessee to Georgia. Back to Tennessee. Back to Texas,

504
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: go move, experience a different culture. Man, You're going to

505
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 1: a different environment, make new friends. Like you said, you're

506
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 1: working on yourself. You're trying to become closer to God.

507
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 1: And there's no way or no better way to be

508
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: closer to God than stepping out in faith and saying,

509
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,719
Speaker 1: okay God. If this is if Cheatham, Tennessee, is that right,

510
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: Cheatam County. Cheatham County, Tennessee is where you're calling me

511
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: to go. And I don't know anybody, I don't have

512
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: a job. I'm going to go because you're calling me. Dude,

513
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: You're going to be closer to God through that. For sure.

514
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: You're listening to two guys that did this when we're

515
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: in our low twenties. Both of us moved many states

516
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: away to Tennessee. Actually, and I didn't know a single soul.

517
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 1: You didn't either, and we just completely started new. So

518
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: part of your question is getting closer to God, Well,

519
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 1: that's getting plugged in right away. To a church in

520
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: Cheatham County. I would go, and you might have to

521
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 1: go to a couple. You might just sit through a

522
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 1: couple of Sunday services to feel where it feels like

523
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: that's your personality and these are your people. And when

524
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: you do get plugged in, get involved, go serve with them.

525
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: If they have like a serve Saturday or something where

526
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 1: they're going to go into the community and cut limbs

527
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: with the chainsaw. Sign up, go do it. Yeah, go

528
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 1: for it, Wade. You may go to a party and

529
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: meet a buddy who plays the guitar and then y'all

530
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: song swap all night, and then twenty two years later

531
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: do a podcast with them. That's our story. It could happen,

532
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: but that will happen to you, Wade, do it all right.

533
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: Next question says Dating Advice. Hey, I'm Garrett. I'm twenty

534
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: one years old and I'm a custodian and I met

535
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: a para teacher at work I really like and I

536
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: think she likes me too. I'm pretty I have a

537
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: pretty severe stutter, and she's always kind to me and

538
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: gives me compliments, and I give her compliments too. But

539
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: I have never found the courage to ask her out.

540
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 1: I can only carry out a normal conversation, but when

541
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 1: I'm about to ask her, I study a stutter pretty

542
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: much the whole conversation. What would you recommend I do? Vulnerable,

543
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: the vulnerable. That's where this that's where this is. Daniel,

544
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: Who are Garrett? Your email says, Daniel Garrett, you are.

545
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: That stutter is part of you, right, that is you

546
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: in a sense, it's what makes you you. So if

547
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: she didn't like the stutter, she didn't like you. So

548
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 1: she might as well know right from the very beginning.

549
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: You come in and you say, and I've said this

550
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: kind of thing before on this podcast, and so I

551
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: want to say it's difficult to do this, but you

552
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: just say, my name is Garrett. I think you're beautiful

553
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: and I really like you, and I would love to

554
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: grab a coffee with you sometime. Oh, by the way,

555
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: you hear that stutter. I stutter when I'm nervous around

556
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: pretty girls. And so I'm sorry that I can't I

557
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: can't talk completely clearly because I stutter a little bit.

558
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: And I hope you're okay with that. But I'm just

559
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: trying to tell you that I would love to have

560
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: a cup of coffee with you. Yeah. I think that's great.

561
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: I think being your true self because if you try

562
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: to hide it, yeah, it's eventually going to come out

563
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: down the road. And wouldn't you just rather know from

564
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: the jump. Man, this girl likes me for me, all

565
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: of me, the stutters and all the stuff, like she

566
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 1: knows me from the jump And it sounds like this

567
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: is a it goes away whenever he gets more comfortable. Yeah,

568
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: so after you go to coffee and you guys talk

569
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: for a while, maybe it's not as big of a

570
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 1: deal for her because you're comfortable around here and you

571
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 1: don't stutter as much around there. It will still be

572
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: a thing in the future for him, always, right, right, Yeah,

573
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: So what did you say about Jordan Peterson earlier? Something

574
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 1: about you? If you what is it you said about

575
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 1: If you're lying, If you don't if you have something

576
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:16,760
Speaker 1: to say, right and you stay quiet, you're lying. Yeah,

577
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 1: So hiding the stutter from her, trying to hide it

578
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 1: is essentially lying to her at the beginning. It's tough

579
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: to understand that, but it's the truth because you trying

580
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 1: to be your best and not stutter is a form

581
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 1: of a lie instead of just telling her straight up,

582
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: I would love to have coffee with you. And then

583
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: you stutter and you say sorry. Do you hear that?

584
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: That's the stutter? When I get nervous right out there

585
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 1: you're just being totally truthful and you're being yourself, and

586
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: if she doesn't love that instantly about you, then she's

587
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: the wrong girl. Absolutely. There's nothing more attractive I think

588
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 1: for a woman or for a man, is somebody who

589
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: is completely confident in their skin who God made them

590
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: to be, with a sense of humility for sure, not

591
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 1: like an arrogant confidence, but somebody who understands. Man, this

592
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 1: is who I am, who God made me to be.

593
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: I'm confident and secure in that, and I'm offering that

594
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 1: to the world. I got nothing to lose here, nothing

595
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 1: to hide. So next question says, how to find a

596
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: girl that shares your values in faith? Hey, Grandeer, my

597
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 1: name is Brendan. I'm twenty years old. I'm a Christian

598
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: from Florida. I don't find the party in drinking seem

599
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: very fun, and dating apps seem to be very hit

600
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: or miss. How would you suggest I try to meet someone.

601
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,479
Speaker 1: I'm working full time and going to college and trying

602
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: to make a good life for myself, but it seems

603
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: like other people my age only care about partying. My

604
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 1: friends and family have always told me I'm a good person,

605
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: but lately I've been doubting that myself. What am I

606
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: doing wrong? Thanks Brendan. Trying to find somebody with your values,

607
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 1: you just have to narrow the scope of where you're looking.

608
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 1: You can't you can't go to Chick fil A and

609
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 1: you're trying to get a stake. It's like, I really

610
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 1: want to filat Mignon and they're like, well, that's not

611
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: on the menu. Here. You came to the wrong place.

612
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 1: You came a Chick fil A. You're wanting fla Mignon.

613
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: You're looking in the wrong place. So you're looking for

614
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: a girl and you want her to have the same

615
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 1: values as you. You've got to change restaurants and you

616
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 1: know the restaurant, you know the places you like to

617
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 1: hang out. Yeah, that's good. I think you've said this

618
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: on this podcast before, but I think it's worth repeating

619
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: because it I think it is important in what he's

620
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: going through. I would honestly recommend taking your eyes off

621
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 1: of this girl that you want to date. You're twenty

622
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: years old, you're young, and there's a whole world in

623
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 1: front of you. You're a believer, So if you don't

624
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 1: say I'm a Christian, my answer is probably a little

625
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 1: bit different. But if you have a Christian worldview, focus

626
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: every bit of your energy on Jesus and chasing after

627
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 1: him God every morning. Like Granger says, be in the

628
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: word God, what do you want for my life? What

629
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: do you want? Where is it? Where is it? And

630
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 1: as you're walking in that, I feel like He's going

631
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 1: to put some passion. I feel like early on for

632
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: both of us it was music and man, that what

633
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 1: a blessing that He gave us this vision. And girls

634
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: along the way that wanted a date. I was like, no, man,

635
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 1: God has called me to do this and to spread

636
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 1: this message in this way, and I am doing that.

637
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I looked to my left and right,

638
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 1: like you say, and saw somebody that was doing that

639
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 1: same thing as much as me, and then we kind

640
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 1: of started hanging out, and then we hung out a

641
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 1: little more. And so that would be my recommendation, and

642
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: is switch the focus focus on Jesus and just pursue

643
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: His will for your life as hard as you possibly can.

644
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: And don't I think we tend to put a timeline

645
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 1: on well, I have to like find the girl and

646
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: get married in between this time. If I'm gonna have

647
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: kids at this time, and I'm going to die at

648
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,879
Speaker 1: this time. We're working it back and saying, well, man,

649
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: twenty to twenty five, I gotta find who I'm going

650
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: to spend the rest of my life with. Just throw

651
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: that out the window. That's just that's our culture. And

652
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's true. I think that you

653
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 1: just focus on him and in his time and his

654
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: perfect will, that person's going to come along and you're

655
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,320
Speaker 1: going to know it. Yeah that. Jonathan piccluda pastor and

656
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: author in Waco, Texas. He wrote a book called Outdated.

657
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 1: Highly recommend this book for you, Brendan Outdated, you get

658
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: the audiobook, get the physical copy. But he says something

659
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 1: very similar to what Bernie just said. He says, chase

660
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: after Christ, live your life as though God is number

661
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 1: one and glorifying Him is number one in your life.

662
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,320
Speaker 1: And as you're on that path, as you're walking that path,

663
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,399
Speaker 1: the first time you find a girl that is doing

664
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: the same thing that there's honoring God and loving God

665
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: and putting him first, ask her out on a date.

666
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: It's really that simple. Like it's that simple. And if

667
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen this year or next year or ten years,

668
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:08,439
Speaker 1: that's okay, but when you do ask her for coffee? Yeah,

669
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,879
Speaker 1: Because if you get to the end of your life

670
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: and that person has never come, would you rather look

671
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,959
Speaker 1: back and say, man, I spent the last thirty years

672
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: looking for this person never found, or I spent the

673
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:23,399
Speaker 1: last thirty years chasing Jesus and I'm ready to go home. Yeah. Yeah.

674
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 1: We could find plenty of questions on this podcast of

675
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: bad relationships, like it's probably the next one on the queue.

676
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: It's a bad relationship and here you are without a relationship.

677
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 1: You're better off? Man? Yeah, okay, ont said another one

678
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,800
Speaker 1: now here It is parents going through divorce subject fine,

679
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer. First off, First off, absolutely love your music

680
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 1: and your podcast. My name is Emily. I go to

681
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: Texas A and M Whoop. My parents are recently going

682
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: through the divorce process. My dad has gone about it

683
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: entirely the wrong way and is losing everyone because of it.

684
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:01,439
Speaker 1: He recently blocked my number. I've nothing but hear him out.

685
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: It's hard because he's my dad, but he's turning into

686
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 1: someone I don't know. My mom and dad have always

687
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 1: been close and she deserves none of this. I love

688
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: her with my whole heart and it pains me to

689
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: watch her hurt me. My mom, brother and sister have

690
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: all become so close due to this. I'm not sure

691
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: how to handle it. Thank you, As always in gigam, Emily,

692
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: thank you tough question. Let me point out something that

693
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: you might not have noticed through this, but your very

694
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 1: last thing you said is me, my mom, my brother,

695
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 1: and sister have all become so close due to this.

696
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: That's a blessing. Yeah, sometimes we have to look for

697
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 1: the blessing. They go, wow, it took this terrible situation,

698
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 1: but now I'm really close with my siblings like I've

699
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 1: never have been before. Yeah, I'm glad you said that

700
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of times it's years after

701
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 1: that we look back, because I think about the relationship

702
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: I had with my brother and sister, everything that we've

703
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 1: been through in our life lives that has made us

704
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: really stronger, and I'm looking back on it thinking, oh, man,

705
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: what a blessing that was. But now, hearing Granger in

706
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: the moment, maybe you can have that just awareness of

707
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: what's happening in real time. Right now, it's tough. I'm

708
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 1: still a little bit confused as to why Dad has

709
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: what happened that would one make them divorce and two

710
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 1: make him block his daughter and his family. He's handling

711
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: it wrong. She said that it's a tough thing for

712
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: a daughter. I think you've talked about this before, for

713
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 1: a child to have to navigate a parent acting emotionally

714
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: immature or yeah, out of line. I know the right answer,

715
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: and it's the hardest one. The hardest answer is the

716
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: right one here. What do you do about Dad? You

717
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: forgive him and you love him. You can't change his actions,

718
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: but you could change the way you were act to him.

719
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: And so what do you do forgive him? What do

720
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: you do tomorrow? Forgive him again? It doesn't mean you

721
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 1: condone his actions. It doesn't mean you accept his actions.

722
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you pull him into Thanksgiving and you

723
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 1: make him sit back at the table. It means none

724
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,399
Speaker 1: of that. It just means in your heart you say, Dad,

725
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 1: I love you and I forgive you. This situation crushes

726
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: me and Mom doesn't deserve it, and you should never

727
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 1: block your daughter's number. But I still forgive you because

728
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: I love you, because you're my dad. Have you heard

729
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 1: that line kindness leads to repentance? Yeah? I hate that

730
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 1: because it's so true. But it goes against everything in

731
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 1: the moment that I want to do. It's like, no,

732
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: I want you to see how you messed up, and

733
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 1: I want to tell you and then I want you

734
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: to apologize and repent of what you've done. Right, But

735
00:42:56,280 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 1: kindness really leads to repentance. People hearts are not going

736
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 1: to get there by you kind of condemning them. So

737
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 1: I think what you're saying grace and forgiveness and patience

738
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: and kindness, it's going to be really, really tough and

739
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 1: a burden that as being a college student with your dad,

740
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 1: you shouldn't really have to bear. But this is the

741
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 1: lot that God has given you, and you get a

742
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: chance to respond to it the best that you possibly can.

743
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: So I would agree with you, Gris, That's how I'd

744
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 1: handle it. And love your mom. You know she needs

745
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: you right now, She needs you more than she ever

746
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,359
Speaker 1: has needed you, and so be there for her. Love her.

747
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: If she needs a she needs you to run at

748
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,959
Speaker 1: the convenience store and grab a diet coke, go do it.

749
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 1: Serve her, serve her and be there for her. Just

750
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 1: to listen. You don't always have to give advice, but

751
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: just just listen, be there, for her. And when she asked,

752
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: what you're going to do about your dad and she

753
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 1: wants to work you up, say I'm going to forgive them? What? No,

754
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 1: he's an ee, but I forgive him, mom, Because essentially

755
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: we're all evil. And like you said, it can be

756
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: really easy for people to associate forgiveness with condoning. Yes,

757
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 1: and that's not We got to separate those two things.

758
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: That's not biblical at all. Try to stay away from

759
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: the circles that are going to want to gang up

760
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 1: and just talk gossip. What do you hate about Dad?

761
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I hate about Dad? And another thing,

762
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: what do you hate about dad? We all hate Dad.

763
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 1: Let's gid him. Yeah, just avoid that, walk out of

764
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 1: the room if that starts happening, and just or just

765
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 1: tell people, hey, I still love him, He's still Dad.

766
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: What Yes? I do? I do? And and I hope,

767
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 1: I hope that one day if and when I mess up,

768
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 1: you forgive me because you know what God has So

769
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: try to live that of not it's not easy, Emily,

770
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 1: it's not easy, But that's the posture I would take

771
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 1: with this. And it's not quick. Just so you know

772
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: it's it's going to be a while. Next question, subject

773
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,800
Speaker 1: line says mentally exhausted. I've been mentally exhausted and feel

774
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 1: drained when going to sleep and waking up. My life

775
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 1: feels good. I'm working every day, I go to school.

776
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: I don't have a relationship, but I have plenty of friends.

777
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 1: Why am I so exhausted physically and mentally? Matthew? This

778
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 1: is a great question for Bernie. I don't even know

779
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: what he's gonna say, But if I was feeling this

780
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 1: mentally and physically exhausted, you would say time for the wilderness.

781
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:41,359
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you speak into Matthew about your wilderness talk? Yeah?

782
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 1: I think Matthew, without knowing you and without knowing all

783
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: the circumstances of your life, it sounds like he said

784
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: he has a good life. Yeah. I think that we

785
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: live in just a different culture now, where there's so

786
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 1: much stimulation and we're having a so information. I feel

787
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 1: like I could stop my life right now and spend

788
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 1: the rest of it thinking through and processing everything that

789
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,720
Speaker 1: I've experienced up to now. Unfortunately that's not going to happen,

790
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: like I'm still going to be consuming more experiences and

791
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:21,280
Speaker 1: information to process. I think if you can develop a habit,

792
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: and this is really hard. It's hard for me. It's

793
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: a discipline that we just have to keep getting better at.

794
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 1: But stillness and solitude, be alone with your thoughts. I

795
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: think practicing mental exercises for me. I do it every morning,

796
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 1: and I do it with the motivation of God. I

797
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 1: want my heart, soul, mind, and strength to glorify you

798
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: to its fullest capability. And so in the same way

799
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 1: that I'm eating healthy foods and I'm exercising my body,

800
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 1: and I'm reading your word and I'm filling up with

801
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 1: you every morning, I'm doing the same thing from my mind.

802
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,720
Speaker 1: I want to be able to focus in every moment

803
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: on your word and what you're willing is calling me to.

804
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,919
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm going to have some mental exercises

805
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 1: that help me. These distractions come in and I just

806
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:10,319
Speaker 1: I mentally push them away and then I can come

807
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 1: back to focus. When you walk through the wilderness, I

808
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: think what happens is you give yourself the space to

809
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: really sort through a lot of these thoughts that keep

810
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 1: making you mentally exhausted. So I would give yourself some space.

811
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,479
Speaker 1: Journal Granger always talks about journaling, just getting those things

812
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: when you read them, you can either dismiss them as

813
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know why I keep thinking about that,

814
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: but you won't do that until you actually see it,

815
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 1: or you can understand that. Man, there's maybe there's something

816
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 1: here that I need to really just sit with and process.

817
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 1: There's there's a deeper issue here as to why I

818
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: keep coming back here. If you're mentally exhausted, one, you

819
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 1: have to think about what you're putting in your body.

820
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,720
Speaker 1: That's the food that you're eating, that drinks that you're drinking,

821
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 1: but also what are you looking at, what are you watching?

822
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 1: I talked about the you know, the phones earlier, of

823
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: spending so much time looking at your phones. All of

824
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: those things matter. What is going in and if you're

825
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 1: overloading the system, it's just going to be exhausted. So

826
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: give yourself some space, consider what it is that you're

827
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: putting in, and then maybe redesign how your mental life

828
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: could look moving forward. That's great. I would ask this

829
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 1: question if this was me. I'd ask this to Bernie

830
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 1: because he thinks through this kind of stuff. And I

831
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 1: think you mentioned some great things like food, your food,

832
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: you feel drained when you're going to sleep, and waking up.

833
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 1: There's a good book called Everything Starts with Food, and yeah,

834
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 1: there's a way of looking at there's certain things that

835
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: you're putting in your body that you don't even know

836
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: that could be deffecting you. And it doesn't necessarily have

837
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 1: to be chocolate or sugar. It could be it could

838
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 1: be beans, or bread or tomatoes. It could be something simple.

839
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 1: As you kind of dissect what you're putting in your body,

840
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 1: you realize, yeah, I don't react good with bread. Could

841
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 1: just be you. And then I would say, you know,

842
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 1: get some kind of workout routine. You get some kind

843
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: of workout routine going whatever suit you. I don't care

844
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 1: if it's jogging or walking, or strength training or treadmill

845
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: or yoga, I don't I don't care. Find something that

846
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 1: fits your personality and stick with it three to seven

847
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:39,000
Speaker 1: days a week. Do it and you'll sleep better. You'll

848
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 1: sleep better, and then when you sleep better, you wake

849
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 1: up better. And then the mental thing, it sounds like

850
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 1: you're gonna need an electronic sabbath. Make it make a day.

851
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: This is gonna happen when you're you come to the

852
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: point of emailing me saying you're mentally exhausted, you're gonna say, Okay.

853
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: On on Sundays, I'm gonna I'm gonna stayway from elect

854
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 1: tronics completely. I'm gonna avoid screens and electronics and and

855
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 1: I'll probably do some kind of camping trip where I

856
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: go out by myself. I'm gonna go in the woods

857
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna camp in a tent with no electronics,

858
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,399
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna make a fire. I'm gonna cook

859
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 1: some hot dogs on the fire, and I'm just gonna

860
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: stare at the fire and listen to the wind and codies,

861
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 1: and man, I think I want to go. You're making

862
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: as I don't know. Man, these are this is how

863
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: you could And then if you come back and you

864
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: feel a little bit better, then you go, oh that worked.

865
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it again in two weeks, and and

866
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: then practically every day every single day. Man. iPhone has

867
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 1: gotten pretty good with designing the phone where you could

868
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 1: set it up where like mine, mine turns off it

869
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 1: like eight point thirty. It goes into it shuts down

870
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,799
Speaker 1: all the apps I don't need, and it puts it

871
00:50:55,840 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 1: on silent and or do not disturb, and then it

872
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: doesn't kick on till like eight am the next morning,

873
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,319
Speaker 1: and then it allows me to use those apps again.

874
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,879
Speaker 1: So and I don't sleep with my phone. I think

875
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 1: that's important too. When I take a shower, start winding down,

876
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 1: my phone goes to the charger and I don't see

877
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 1: it again until the next morning. And if I do

878
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 1: need to see it again, those apps are shut down.

879
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 1: So iPhone and I'm sure Android does too, but they've

880
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:28,000
Speaker 1: set up a lot of really cool things to say, Hey,

881
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 1: this is the time of day when I'm going to

882
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 1: use it, and this is the time of day I'm

883
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 1: not falling asleep on the pillow. Staring at your phone

884
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: is I think one of the worst things you could

885
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: do for your mental health. Yep, because you used to

886
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: go unconscious, and even if you've got to check a

887
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 1: post or something, you go unconscious by looking at all

888
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 1: that you just go down this rabbit hole and then

889
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 1: before you know it, you're exhausted and you're still staring

890
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 1: at the phone. So go put it in another room

891
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 1: and set it up where you can't touch it after

892
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 1: a certain time at night. I think that's going to

893
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 1: help a lot all those things. Yeah, I mean, you

894
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 1: think about if you what happens if your diet is

895
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 1: just sugar, alcohol, caffeine. Yeah, well, I mean it's a

896
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: terrible diet, my guitar player. Yeah, nobody's going to recommend

897
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: that diet. But yet there's things mentally that we feed

898
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: ourselves that are the equivalent. But we haven't yet yet

899
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 1: because I think there's studies that are happening now that

900
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 1: are going to be eye opening associated screen time and

901
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: the things that we're actually looking at with the mental

902
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 1: exhaustion that he's talking about right now. So man, that's

903
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,919
Speaker 1: all we got today. Thank you for coming. Bro awesome. Yeah,

904
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 1: time flies when you're having fun. Man. Thank you guys

905
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,360
Speaker 1: for listening. See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me

906
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 1: on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys.

907
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.

908
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that

909
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,399
Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never

910
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a

911
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,

912
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye