Speaker 1: This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the thing,
Speaker 1: my guest. Dwight Gooden is known especially to baseball fans
Speaker 1: as the once brilliant nineteen year old pitching phenom from Tampa, Florida.
Speaker 1: He had a blistering fastball and a notoriously deceptive curveball.
Speaker 1: Those two pitches earned him the Rookie of the Year
Speaker 1: award in nineteen eighty four. In eighty five, he won
Speaker 1: the Cy Young In eighty six, he led the Mets
Speaker 1: to one of their best seasons ever, ending with a
Speaker 1: World Series championship. Gooden had some winning seasons after that,
Speaker 1: but nothing matched those first three years. Instead, his public
Speaker 1: battles with alcohol and cocaine became the dominant story of
Speaker 1: his career, leading sports historians to write about what might
Speaker 1: have been rather than what was. At the very least,
Speaker 1: Dwight Gooden's addiction ruined what should have been the greatest
Speaker 1: day of his life, the six World Series win. After
Speaker 1: the game was over, I'm celebrating the clubhouse with my teammates.
Speaker 1: Then I going to bake in the trainer's room. I
Speaker 1: called my dad. We talked about the game, and he's happy.
Speaker 1: And we're celebrating, and then the night call went right
Speaker 1: to my friend who knew the dealer. When my friend
Speaker 1: was the go to guy, told him I was coming
Speaker 1: by the later and my goal was to go by there,
Speaker 1: get some drugs, and meet my teammates at local bar
Speaker 1: after that. But unfortunately, you know, Dick don't don't allow that, right,
Speaker 1: So your friend, a friend that you knew, called the
Speaker 1: dealer for you to tee up the ball for you
Speaker 1: to go score. Well, what it was is, um, I
Speaker 1: wanted a lot of stuff. I wanted to party and celebrate. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: go to the house and projects in Long Island with
Speaker 1: the dealer, with the dealer. So I'm in there. What
Speaker 1: about ten people I probably know too. That's the friends
Speaker 1: from Tampa and the dealer. So we're sitting there partying,
Speaker 1: having good time, and now I'm thinking I'll be here
Speaker 1: for maybe an hour of them to cut out. But
Speaker 1: once those rails hit the mirror, Yeah, once you started,
Speaker 1: once you start, yeah, it's cryptonite. That was always my
Speaker 1: track record. I'm just going to do a little bit.
Speaker 1: Then three days later you're doing the same thing. Dwight
Speaker 1: Gooden has been sober since two thousand eleven when he
Speaker 1: went on celebrity rehab. And he has just written a
Speaker 1: deeply personal book entitled Duck, a Memoir, which chronicles everything
Speaker 1: from his complicated relationship with his father to his meteoric
Speaker 1: rise and his drug use and the toll that took
Speaker 1: on him. You come from an error when uh, drugs
Speaker 1: predominate as much as alcohol or alcohol is one drug
Speaker 1: on a menu of drugs, because alcohol certainly is a drug,
Speaker 1: as you would you acknowledge that, as you say, I
Speaker 1: called a definite drug. And the error I was in
Speaker 1: what like you say, um before me was heavy drinking,
Speaker 1: you know in the seventies where have you? And probably
Speaker 1: pot from right here Meyer is basically you know, cocaine
Speaker 1: and drinking. The alcohol is available and every club house
Speaker 1: you go to, whether it's on the road or at home,
Speaker 1: and even at home. And when you say alcohol was
Speaker 1: a very but what was the kind of culture of that?
Speaker 1: Meaning when the game was over all professional ball players
Speaker 1: and management and coaching kind of acknowledged that when the
Speaker 1: games over we we we gave it our best for
Speaker 1: Pro Bowl players and we've earned a drink and everybody
Speaker 1: has a drink. So they had a full bar there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: pretty much as normal, Like you go into the lounge
Speaker 1: where you have the food, you have the water and drinks,
Speaker 1: and then you got the beer and then the private
Speaker 1: stats and the back with the hard stuff. Especially like
Speaker 1: at the day game, was staying because we want a
Speaker 1: way to put the traffic down and we just sit
Speaker 1: around talking baseball, talking about the games, and just drinking.
Speaker 1: You started your professional career when you were how old
Speaker 1: professional drafted a seventeen, played a year and a half
Speaker 1: in the Monitors. It's amazing that nine team. And what
Speaker 1: was amazing was at the game. If we're on the road,
Speaker 1: there was always one of the veteran players say Docu
Speaker 1: pitching tomorrow. If I said no, it's okay, y'reat with us.
Speaker 1: And I remembers one time I did a commercial Pepsi
Speaker 1: commercial with Catfish Hunter, and so they started playing commercial.
Speaker 1: When in Chicago at the day game, we go to
Speaker 1: this bar and the commercial comes on and the bartowners
Speaker 1: looking at the commercially looking at me, looking at the commercial.
Speaker 1: I think it goes I don't think you don't have
Speaker 1: to be in here, you know, so he sounds funny.
Speaker 1: You could hanging out here, but I can't start any more.
Speaker 1: One are the traps of famous. Everybody knows who you are,
Speaker 1: and they know who you are on every level. But
Speaker 1: so when you're nineteen years old, even when you get
Speaker 1: drafted at seventeen. But I would imagine I've got to
Speaker 1: believe that even when you were in Triple A and
Speaker 1: you were up in them, when the miners and you
Speaker 1: were seventeen, they protected you more. They shielded you from
Speaker 1: certain things more. Were you sticking your hand into a
Speaker 1: cooler and pulling a beer out of there too when
Speaker 1: you were seventeen, Definitely pulling out. Once you're in that league,
Speaker 1: once you're in with that group of people, you're one
Speaker 1: of them, and you act like them on every level,
Speaker 1: at every level. You know, myself, I was a paper pleaser,
Speaker 1: so people pleaser, just trying to fit in. You got
Speaker 1: new teammates, you know, guys says out of college or
Speaker 1: been in the monors for a while, but here you're
Speaker 1: out of high school. A lot of times, like again,
Speaker 1: alcohol in the clubhouse was available so at the game,
Speaker 1: so I was just like, you started drinking now you
Speaker 1: had you been drinking on the streets of Florida when
Speaker 1: you were hanging out in those neighborhoods you grew up
Speaker 1: with your mom and dad. A lot of times I
Speaker 1: got in high school, I got there at a football game,
Speaker 1: you know, on Friday night, at the game is over.
Speaker 1: We had this piece of place we'll go to and
Speaker 1: hang out and guys will have drinks, and I would
Speaker 1: be a part of that. You would, yes, So it's
Speaker 1: not like the kid who's on the mound when you're
Speaker 1: pitching as a little boy, as you describe in the book,
Speaker 1: and your dad's teaching the underage kid how to throw
Speaker 1: the curveball. You started throwing the curba when you were
Speaker 1: seven years old, correct. Your dad taught you, against the
Speaker 1: advice of some people maybe you were too young. Your
Speaker 1: dad taught you had to throw the curveball. And then,
Speaker 1: and I think it's safe to say, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: only being half cute when I say this. Your first
Speaker 1: addiction was throwing the curveball, wasn't it. Oh definitely exactly.
Speaker 1: That's where it all started addiction. And I want used
Speaker 1: to Once you learned it through the curb ball, you
Speaker 1: couldn't stop stop you want to do it. And I
Speaker 1: think a lot of times, like you said, now, kids
Speaker 1: are told not to throw a curveball to get an
Speaker 1: eighteen years on thirteen or fourteen. It's just my opinion.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the wrong with the kids on
Speaker 1: the curb ball said ten leven. I wouldn't recommend thoring
Speaker 1: tenor leaving curve balls a game, But if the mechanics
Speaker 1: are right, if you got your arm in the right
Speaker 1: position to throw it, you know, two or three game.
Speaker 1: I don't think we hurt. But that kid who when
Speaker 1: someone would get a hit off you when you didn't perform, well,
Speaker 1: you admit in the book, and you got very upset.
Speaker 1: You cracked up a few times. You get really emotional.
Speaker 1: You're a boy who's learning how to handle this stress
Speaker 1: and handle this pressure. When does that kid pick up
Speaker 1: his first drink? When does that kid start in that?
Speaker 1: You watched your family go through that. Yeah, actually, um,
Speaker 1: I found out later in my recovery that my dad
Speaker 1: was actually alcoholic at the time. Grew up in Alice.
Speaker 1: Just think it's the normal thing guys do. They come
Speaker 1: home from work, they eat dinner, they sit, you know,
Speaker 1: watch a game, and they have some beers. So basically,
Speaker 1: my first separate alcohol was probably about ten eleven years old,
Speaker 1: I took a sip with my dad's beer when he
Speaker 1: wasn't watching, when he wasn't watching, wasn't watching, and unfortunately
Speaker 1: I like to taste. I remember four or five months
Speaker 1: later after that, we had a family picnic and they
Speaker 1: had a cooler beer. That made a buddy of mine
Speaker 1: just jumped in a cool and drunken beer. And that's
Speaker 1: the first time my mom jumped me because I was
Speaker 1: pretty wasted from the one beer that Now, now, when
Speaker 1: you did you either of your parents your dad, If
Speaker 1: I read the book correctly, your dad cared about you
Speaker 1: a great and he invested very heavily in your playing ball.
Speaker 1: So was he on you. But the drug and alcohol thing,
Speaker 1: was he riding you about that? You know? It was
Speaker 1: amazing The first time I know, I really hurt my
Speaker 1: dad was. My mom was more a vocal about that.
Speaker 1: My dad was. He always participated in my baseball games
Speaker 1: at an early age, as well as my school activities.
Speaker 1: I remember in the first time I tested positive, I
Speaker 1: had to come home and tell my parents I was
Speaker 1: going to treatment. My mom was like, Okay, that's good son,
Speaker 1: I can get the help you need. My dad just
Speaker 1: kind of dropped his head never said a word. That
Speaker 1: probably hurt me more knowing that I hurt him by
Speaker 1: him not saying anything I'd rather for him. And that
Speaker 1: was how he expressed his deepest disappointment. But he didn't
Speaker 1: say anything, Well, he didn't saything. I'd rather for him
Speaker 1: to say, you know, sonya loser or whatever. I just
Speaker 1: wanted something, but he never did, never said one word.
Speaker 1: So you go from stick in your hands in a
Speaker 1: cooler at a family event and then you're sticking your
Speaker 1: hand in a cooler in the Triple A ball there
Speaker 1: in the minors when you're playing for what world organization
Speaker 1: where you drafted you? Yeah, I was drafted by the
Speaker 1: mess You were in tide Water. No. Actually my first
Speaker 1: year when I got drafted, I went to Kingsport, Tennessee,
Speaker 1: which is working ball. Towood was the Triple A. I
Speaker 1: end up going there my second year for the playoffs
Speaker 1: in the Roal series. And so describe what happens when
Speaker 1: you're gonna go into the big leagues. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what was amazing. While I was in Triple A. David
Speaker 1: Johnson was the manager and I pitched well for him
Speaker 1: in the playoffs. From the Triple A Roural Series, and
Speaker 1: he said, where my manage nature, You're on the team
Speaker 1: that winner he got the job, really manager, So just
Speaker 1: jokingly I called him and I said, David, very much.
Speaker 1: You told me, you said, I don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: You come in to the spring training, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: on the team. About two weeks for spring training and started,
Speaker 1: I get a call because I wentn't at that time
Speaker 1: you had to have three years in the minors before
Speaker 1: you get put on the roster. Only had one year
Speaker 1: and a half. So I get the call, You're coming
Speaker 1: to Pickley camp as a non roster player. So the
Speaker 1: whole while doing spring training, the front office kept said
Speaker 1: we was going to send him to double A, maybe
Speaker 1: triple A. But then David coming to me and say,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, You're gonna make the team. How
Speaker 1: do they do that? Well, three years in the minors
Speaker 1: is recommended, or it's a rule. It's it's a rule
Speaker 1: for its being on the roster. But you can had
Speaker 1: a guy at this first year before he's ready, but
Speaker 1: you don't technically have to. But after three years in
Speaker 1: the matters, you gotta put the gall on your roster.
Speaker 1: You gotta put him through waivers where any team can
Speaker 1: claim like guy. So the last game of spring training,
Speaker 1: we're playing in St. Petersburg and after the game, we're
Speaker 1: flying out to Cincinnati. Just started the season. So I
Speaker 1: didn't want to bring my bags into the clubhouse, you know,
Speaker 1: to take with me because I hadn't officially heard anything.
Speaker 1: So I kept on bags in the car just in case.
Speaker 1: So about the fifth in and of the last spring
Speaker 1: training game, David Johnson comes there and he shakes my
Speaker 1: hands the congratulations you made the team, and I'm like wow.
Speaker 1: And at that point, I mean, you got this great
Speaker 1: feeling that you're living in your childhood dream. But part
Speaker 1: of me is thinking, man, if I'm really ready for this,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm only nineteen. I remember calling my dad
Speaker 1: told I made the team and just hearing the joy
Speaker 1: because my dad he didn't really show any you know,
Speaker 1: you couldn't tell you a very quiet guy, laid back
Speaker 1: and you didn't know, he never showed any emotions. But
Speaker 1: that day he was showed some with motion over the phone,
Speaker 1: and we enjoyed that. So you go to New York
Speaker 1: win what month of what the year? We had to
Speaker 1: New York. We actually we opened up in Cincinnati, which
Speaker 1: was great for me because I grew up in Cincinat
Speaker 1: a rich fan because growing up in Tampa has spring
Speaker 1: training down there in the seventies. So we played in
Speaker 1: Cincinnati and get my first start in Houston and old Astrodome.
Speaker 1: My parents did watching the game, I get that win
Speaker 1: was great and the first game one, yes, nineteen years old,
Speaker 1: ninete years old. How many strikeouts you? I think I
Speaker 1: had five? You know what people remember remember keeping these
Speaker 1: athletes like I think I hate the ball he took
Speaker 1: to God was like, I think I double bogie that
Speaker 1: whole back in nineteen and sev Remember after that game,
Speaker 1: my dad said, how do you feel? I say, I
Speaker 1: feel good. I should win a lot of games my
Speaker 1: very next start as in Chicago, We're gonna feel I
Speaker 1: don't get a third in it. I mean I get
Speaker 1: just shell. So now my dad says, well son, what
Speaker 1: do you think? Now, I'm saying, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm ready. Just from two stars you go back and fourth.
Speaker 1: So it was just amazing. It's two extremes. How many
Speaker 1: games did you pitch the first season when you win
Speaker 1: the first season? I think I had about thirty two starts.
Speaker 1: He had thirty two starts, so they were all in
Speaker 1: on you. They wanted you. It was there, definitely, you
Speaker 1: were you were in the rotation. Yeah, I was in
Speaker 1: the rotation. I got a seventeen wins, seventeen and nine,
Speaker 1: made the All Star team. My first year led the
Speaker 1: league in strikeouts, and it was amazing because as you
Speaker 1: met and when when I first got there, it wasn't
Speaker 1: too much of expectations, but after the All Star break,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of expectations. It was more seats,
Speaker 1: I mean more fans in the seats to the days
Speaker 1: I would pitch. It was more media. At that time,
Speaker 1: I felt great, you know, because I think at you
Speaker 1: high it did, and then when you're off, you want
Speaker 1: to maintain that high. How do you do that? Well?
Speaker 1: My first year, like you said, it was definitely a
Speaker 1: drawing and rush. Having all the fans they're training for you,
Speaker 1: and you're striking out the winning and you're winning. It
Speaker 1: was no better feeling than that. And plus at my age,
Speaker 1: you're having fun. You pitched against a lot of guys
Speaker 1: you analyzed just a year prior to that, and then
Speaker 1: in the next year, I have an even better year.
Speaker 1: I have a career year, and you know, you go
Speaker 1: out there, it's almost like, Ben, did you do differently
Speaker 1: the second year? We're just more confident. It was more confident,
Speaker 1: more like I had another year experience on my belt.
Speaker 1: And not that I was cocky, but I had a
Speaker 1: lot of confidence. And Garrett Carter came over that year.
Speaker 1: He was All star catcher for me, which is a
Speaker 1: big plus for me. What did Carter bring for you
Speaker 1: as a catcher that helped you? I think the way
Speaker 1: he communicated with me, he didn't want to just win.
Speaker 1: He wanted to dominate and me even though I want
Speaker 1: to dominate, but like say if I was winning a
Speaker 1: game to nothing and then or fifteen nothing and I
Speaker 1: started just messing around with pitches, he will come out
Speaker 1: there and get in my face that you know I
Speaker 1: don't like, No, let's just stick this guys. Stick what
Speaker 1: you know, Let's totally dominate these guys. So when you're
Speaker 1: facing a batter, have you pre assessed before a game
Speaker 1: every single battery you're gonna face in that game that
Speaker 1: they was I only had two pitches, fastball and curbs.
Speaker 1: A lot of times they're like, this guy is a
Speaker 1: great fastball hitter. And came through the guy curball for strikes,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, why shouldn't be pitching? I'm done, you know.
Speaker 1: But basically I always pitched to my strength and make
Speaker 1: the hitter suggests and a lot of times what I
Speaker 1: would do. Also, I should like to watch the box scores,
Speaker 1: Like if I knew I was gonna face the Cardinals,
Speaker 1: say three days from now, I'll start watching the box
Speaker 1: scores and who's hot, who's doing what a couple of
Speaker 1: days before that, so I have an idea which guy
Speaker 1: swinging the bat? World? So if you have I'm not
Speaker 1: a baseball player. I love going to the ball game.
Speaker 1: I love watching a baseball game live. It's a great treat.
Speaker 1: So you're standing there and you're at the top of
Speaker 1: your game. Now you're twenties years old. During your second season,
Speaker 1: you're more confident, and you look at in your mind
Speaker 1: and imaginary strikes on the knees to the shoulders. You
Speaker 1: got the home plate there in those four corners high
Speaker 1: and tight, high and outside, low and tight low and outside.
Speaker 1: Could you basically throw the ball in the festival anywhere
Speaker 1: you want it. You can make it go where you
Speaker 1: wanted to go. Five where I out five. It was
Speaker 1: like from the first game to the pick your spot,
Speaker 1: I was just right there and they have to think
Speaker 1: about it. Everything just came and the bull would go
Speaker 1: where you basically go right there. I would saying how
Speaker 1: many I wasn't even where from to ninety Who's the
Speaker 1: fastest picture in baseball that you know? Right now? Who
Speaker 1: who was at that time? I was? Any time? Who's
Speaker 1: been the fastest? I think Nolan Ryan? What do you
Speaker 1: supposedly they say top out of one on three? Now
Speaker 1: you see these guys doing a hundred ninety nine. But
Speaker 1: also you have to remember all the new stadium, they
Speaker 1: got the radar guns and there they turned out like
Speaker 1: three or four miles hour faster, just for the fans
Speaker 1: and the unfortunately found out the hard way. I went
Speaker 1: to Cleveland towards end of my career, and when I
Speaker 1: left the Yankees in ninety seven, I probably stopping out
Speaker 1: maybe ninety two n three. So I go to Cleveland
Speaker 1: and pitching at home in the game, the clock's got
Speaker 1: me at ninety six seven, I'm thinking, wow, my fastball,
Speaker 1: I'm back. Unfortunately, three What did I have for breakfast today?
Speaker 1: Write it down? Ready to go? Unfortunately, three innings later,
Speaker 1: you know I have given on seven runs, four home runs,
Speaker 1: who knows how many heads. So now when I get
Speaker 1: knocked out of the game, I going room with the
Speaker 1: guy that keeps the video and I'm looking at my
Speaker 1: chart and seeing who did what? And did I see
Speaker 1: like eighty seven eighty nine? And I'm actually, what is
Speaker 1: these numbers here? Is that's your philosophy? I said, out there,
Speaker 1: have me throwing ninety seven? He said no, No No, I
Speaker 1: was tarted up for the fans. So I found out
Speaker 1: the heart way a little bit of show business. Yea.
Speaker 1: So now when you see all these guys storing ninety
Speaker 1: eight and comedy the feeling. So when you're out there
Speaker 1: when you're younger, give me an example of a batter
Speaker 1: that always vexed you, that really just drove you crazy.
Speaker 1: Chili David's hands down when it was with the Semco
Speaker 1: Giant sells the mens. Yeah, it didn't matter if I
Speaker 1: was on top of my game and not. He would
Speaker 1: get hits off me. And what do you attribute that too?
Speaker 1: I think it was just the way you're both built.
Speaker 1: I think what he was built to hit your ball. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the way he was he wasn't like um
Speaker 1: intimidated by because a couple of times I threw in
Speaker 1: his head to try to intimidate him. It didn't matter.
Speaker 1: He just was staying. If I didn't have my good stuff,
Speaker 1: he was hitting home runs. If I had good stuff,
Speaker 1: he was getting bags sits. So when you go high
Speaker 1: and type, you do it to intimidate them. Most of
Speaker 1: times it's just you're not doing brush them back right.
Speaker 1: You don't want to hurt them body or hit him
Speaker 1: in the head, but just want to think, to start
Speaker 1: thinking and keep them for getting comfortable. But Chilian didn't
Speaker 1: phase him. And it is weird because some hitters, when
Speaker 1: you talk to him some pictures, they just see the
Speaker 1: ball a lot better than other pictures because it's like
Speaker 1: guard number five starter, so they couldn't get a hit
Speaker 1: off from him. But I'm like the number one starter
Speaker 1: and he's just wearing me out. Is I'm real? How
Speaker 1: to happen? Sometimes? What was it like for you? I mean, obviously,
Speaker 1: often baseball pictures are not known as great hitters. Is
Speaker 1: it just because the way they're they're muscular, sure, and
Speaker 1: their whole physiognomy is such way, they just don't swing
Speaker 1: about the same way. No, you'd imagine that a picture
Speaker 1: and just in terms of mechanics, would be a very
Speaker 1: good hitter. Well, most pictures, like in a little league,
Speaker 1: in high school or college's great hitters. But what happens
Speaker 1: when you get drafted as a picture. You don't get
Speaker 1: the work on it no more. They don't care how
Speaker 1: you hit right and when you're throwing the ball, ball
Speaker 1: work on your button. So if he was in the
Speaker 1: mount of actually for five years, well, picking up a
Speaker 1: bat you just lose a little bit. But I was
Speaker 1: fortunate that I had eight home runs in my career,
Speaker 1: which I was very proud of, and I want a
Speaker 1: several Suggles Award that's like the best in Picture for
Speaker 1: that year. So I got that. I just take a
Speaker 1: lot of pride in my hitting as well. Well. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be too reductive about the state
Speaker 1: of Florida, but Florida back then, in the eighties and nineties,
Speaker 1: Florida was to cocaine what Detroit is to cars, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean there was a lot of drugs down there,
Speaker 1: and in the Miami Vice era, so to speak. When
Speaker 1: you went to cocaine, when you were down there before
Speaker 1: you came up here, not no. I Um, what was
Speaker 1: your introduction to cocaine? My induction in cocaine? What was
Speaker 1: your drug of choice? Correct? Yes, my induxtter cocaine was
Speaker 1: Actually I had a cousin who was a dialer and
Speaker 1: he also was a pimp. So I was going to
Speaker 1: get some pot Where was he in Tampa? Okay? So
Speaker 1: I was going to house. This was the one. I
Speaker 1: go to this house. You already playing, yes, So I
Speaker 1: go to this house to get some pot. Um. He said,
Speaker 1: I don't have it right now, let me run out
Speaker 1: and get it. So when he left the house to
Speaker 1: go get it, I'm kind of moping around his house
Speaker 1: and now I'll see two girls in this room making out.
Speaker 1: And so that was turned on by that they see
Speaker 1: if they say, oh yeah, you know, look at it
Speaker 1: and coming here. One has some fun with us, and
Speaker 1: so I'm thinking, yeah, it would be nice, you know,
Speaker 1: have some from And they say, well, do a little
Speaker 1: bit of this what we're doing, and you can join
Speaker 1: in with us. And at first I was like fighting us. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna touch that to do it. But what
Speaker 1: they was doing to each other's attract them to me.
Speaker 1: So I pull a bit on my tongue and it's
Speaker 1: like my whole face just went on. And I was thinking,
Speaker 1: I'll just do one. It's not gonna do anything, and
Speaker 1: I'll join in with them. Unfortunately, that one line I did,
Speaker 1: I followed a funny way. Sex was the gateway to
Speaker 1: cocaine for here. Yes, And that's always been my try record,
Speaker 1: Like script clubs, hanging out at bars, stuff like that
Speaker 1: eventually get the same results every time. So I've changed
Speaker 1: my whole work living. And why do you think that,
Speaker 1: I mean, one of the things that happens. How old
Speaker 1: are you now? Now I'm forty, you're forty, and I'm
Speaker 1: fifty five. And now for you, I wonder have you
Speaker 1: been able to kind of revisit because you talk about
Speaker 1: your childhood and you talk about the contradiction and you
Speaker 1: don't necessarily use that word I was. I read it
Speaker 1: very carefully when you talked about, you know, the kind
Speaker 1: of craziness in your household. Your uncle shot your aunt
Speaker 1: in front of you. It was you, It was your
Speaker 1: brother in, but you called him uncle uncle g W.
Speaker 1: But he wasn't really your uncle. He was your brother
Speaker 1: Inn from your much older sister. So you were six
Speaker 1: years old and your sister was twenty years old. It
Speaker 1: was like a fourteen more difference if I incorrect. So
Speaker 1: you're you're in that scenario and this guy shoots your
Speaker 1: sister in the head right in front of you. You
Speaker 1: grab that baby and run into the bathroom, and you
Speaker 1: lock yourself in the bathroom, and I'm wondering. You talk
Speaker 1: about how much your dad cared about you, and how
Speaker 1: much your mom thought to hold onto your dad and
Speaker 1: put up with a lot of ship from him, and
Speaker 1: you watched all this and you talk about the love
Speaker 1: you God and the support you got. But it sounds
Speaker 1: like your family like much of my family. There's love
Speaker 1: and support and a lot of good things, but there's
Speaker 1: a lot of nuttiness going on as well. And do
Speaker 1: you feel that that's what you needed to medicate yourself
Speaker 1: against sex, drugs, alcohol, all these things? Can you put
Speaker 1: your finger on why were you doing those things? Was
Speaker 1: it just boredom? No? I think a situation of early
Speaker 1: on in my career. It was boredom like when I
Speaker 1: would come home, like when I would come home from
Speaker 1: playing my season. Most of my friends were still in
Speaker 1: school while I was working, so the boredom was there
Speaker 1: while just riding around, you know, drinking in the car,
Speaker 1: trying to pick up women. Um, so you ran around
Speaker 1: with a bunch of your peers, people that were your age,
Speaker 1: young people. Yes, it was when when you left the ballpark,
Speaker 1: you went into a world to people that were just
Speaker 1: hanging out, right, what I'm saying. When the season was over,
Speaker 1: I would come back to Tampa and at that time,
Speaker 1: like my friends I grew up with, there was either
Speaker 1: working or someone's in school. The ones that wasn't working
Speaker 1: in school or just hanging on the street corners hanging out.
Speaker 1: And you came down there with a pocket full of money, right,
Speaker 1: so we'll hang out. Everything was on Dwight, Yes, everything definitely,
Speaker 1: So I will hang out with those guys. And so
Speaker 1: that's where the boredom came from. Just riding around every day,
Speaker 1: just drinking, killing tom or whatever. Not knowing that to
Speaker 1: go eventually turned into a problem. So then like after
Speaker 1: the season, I started doing drugs in New York for
Speaker 1: the first time. It was more of the proper pressure.
Speaker 1: It was more of the media pressure and me putting
Speaker 1: pressure on myself. For example, everything was compared to eighty five.
Speaker 1: If I won a game three nothing complete game shout out.
Speaker 1: But if I only had, you know, five strikeouts, the
Speaker 1: first question to be, what happy you don't have five striks?
Speaker 1: They're picking you apart. So that's when I started medicating myself.
Speaker 1: Then it became pre meditated, where every game I pitch,
Speaker 1: I think the game I was gonna get high. I
Speaker 1: was needing gonna get high to celebrate the win. Allston
Speaker 1: get high because I didn't pitch that well, to forget
Speaker 1: about the game, to put the loss behind you, right.
Speaker 1: And then like as you mentioned earlier about me um
Speaker 1: with my sister being shot. She got shot six times
Speaker 1: and at one time she got shot in the head.
Speaker 1: The butt is still actually in her head, which you
Speaker 1: have seizures from it. Like grabbed my nephew and went
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. We got into a pull current thing,
Speaker 1: thinking he's gonna come in and get us next. The
Speaker 1: thing that was weird I didn't find out until basically
Speaker 1: two thousand eleven was my last treatment. Every time I
Speaker 1: would get high, I always go to the bathroom, whether
Speaker 1: I was home by myself, whether it's a restaurant, whether
Speaker 1: it's what I'm talking about, ghosts and these echoes that
Speaker 1: we'll be put up with definitely. So I totally relate
Speaker 1: to that. And I was going to bathroom and it
Speaker 1: was pointed to me that I never realized that I I
Speaker 1: put it together. You know, for me, I remember when
Speaker 1: I started to work oddly, when I was thinking about
Speaker 1: your life and your book. It's similar because in terms
Speaker 1: of acting, I was in Tide Water, I was in
Speaker 1: the port St Lucy of acting. I did a daytime
Speaker 1: TV show, was soap opera here in New York for
Speaker 1: a couple of years, and I went to l A
Speaker 1: and you could called up into the big leagues, so
Speaker 1: to speak, and then you start to make big league money.
Speaker 1: I mean, you and I have more in common than
Speaker 1: I thought, because as I was reading the book, I
Speaker 1: realized that then I got called up to do other
Speaker 1: things and I started to make more money. And you know,
Speaker 1: when I was focused on that work, I mean the
Speaker 1: high that I I got high from the work, and
Speaker 1: when I would go home, there was this lull, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, like my adrenaline I was. I was. I
Speaker 1: was high all day from the energy of being a
Speaker 1: young working actor. I went from one studio to the
Speaker 1: next audition for this movie. I get a part in
Speaker 1: night three to five, that period was my white hot
Speaker 1: period because I'm in l A. My dad died. My
Speaker 1: dad died of cancer. He was fifty five years old,
Speaker 1: April of nine, eight three, and I'm out there and
Speaker 1: I'm booked. Man, I'm i stein deals. I mean, I
Speaker 1: can't come back. I go to work, and when I
Speaker 1: were left work, I felt this tremendous kind of depression,
Speaker 1: like this kind of low, like I had to go
Speaker 1: do something else to get high. Did you feel that way?
Speaker 1: I had the same thing. My problem is trying to
Speaker 1: feel that void like you're talking about. A lot of times,
Speaker 1: the downtime of being bored is a dangerous spot for
Speaker 1: me to be in because I've never had a hobby.
Speaker 1: When baseball steaveson be over. Now you come home to Tampa,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not like in New York. You can
Speaker 1: go to concerts, you go to plays, you can go
Speaker 1: to movies and stuff to do with Tampa's total opously.
Speaker 1: Just come down and there's nothing going on. So I
Speaker 1: totally relate what you said. I would feel that time.
Speaker 1: We weren't taking photography classes down to Tampa at the
Speaker 1: Tampa Institute of Photography. So you come home, you got
Speaker 1: all this time, you got six months of um off season,
Speaker 1: four months before you started training. I started hanging out
Speaker 1: at clubs, doing more drugs and just basically trying to
Speaker 1: fill that board and not knowing You're thinking this is fun,
Speaker 1: Looking my dad, it wasn't fun. It caused more trouble
Speaker 1: than anything. Did money cause your trouble to money calls
Speaker 1: me trouble too. I was saying, how much money did
Speaker 1: you make your first I mean this is all a
Speaker 1: public record. How much money did you make your first
Speaker 1: season throwing in professional baseball? Not not the Triple A,
Speaker 1: not not the farm. I first got drafting, you first
Speaker 1: got drive first thing? For How long did that last?
Speaker 1: How many years? For a year and a half, because
Speaker 1: then I was in the major's right then he went
Speaker 1: to the majors. How much did they pay my rookie year?
Speaker 1: I think the minimum at that time was sixty thousand,
Speaker 1: but my rookie year was out to also bring I
Speaker 1: made more money off the field than I did my contrcy.
Speaker 1: How much you money needed to make off the field
Speaker 1: that year? I probably made about one point five and
Speaker 1: then busted um the minimum that was in the sixty
Speaker 1: When did they we negotiate your contract with the Meths Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't get a long term deal to at that point.
Speaker 1: I got like, I think it was five point five
Speaker 1: million for three years, and at that point it was
Speaker 1: the highest paid player at that time for the first
Speaker 1: decade of his career. Anyone driving along forty two Street
Speaker 1: would be greeted by a towering, multi story mural of
Speaker 1: Gooden painted on the side of a building by Nike.
Speaker 1: He was young, arms outstretched mid pitch. Dwight Gooden was
Speaker 1: in complete control. That was amazing. At that point, That's
Speaker 1: when I knew the things I was doing was he
Speaker 1: was working. I was working here because as a player,
Speaker 1: a young player, you're going through that you're not aware
Speaker 1: of the what you're really doing. I mean, you're aware
Speaker 1: that you're winning games and you're getting strike out, but
Speaker 1: you're not really aware the impact on the King and
Speaker 1: the King. Did you feel like the King? Not really
Speaker 1: only time I fel like the King was the day
Speaker 1: to that pitch that day, I just felt like that
Speaker 1: season was a good year. Yeah, that season was good year,
Speaker 1: and you felt really strong that year, right, So even
Speaker 1: coming to the ballpark, he just felt like this is
Speaker 1: my time because pulling into that. Why do you think
Speaker 1: you didn't do so well in eighty six? What happened?
Speaker 1: Well eighty six I did. I won seventeen games and
Speaker 1: eighty six, but it wasn't eighty five. R. J. Reynolds.
Speaker 1: In a moment, Doc Gooden gets questionable advice from a
Speaker 1: doctor and takes it. This is Alec Baldwin. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is Alec Baldwin, and you're listening to. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Major League Baseball was hardly immune to the cultural excesses
Speaker 1: of the nineteen eighties and the eighties. Six Mets were
Speaker 1: known as a hard partying team. Even so, Dwight Gooden
Speaker 1: was able to set limits in a sense, I went
Speaker 1: from seven to ninety four, we're just drinking. Howard did that?
Speaker 1: I have no idea without using I think part of
Speaker 1: me will help me do that because I was being tested, right,
Speaker 1: So talk about what it was like back in the
Speaker 1: test policy? How did that work? Test polity was once
Speaker 1: you test polity something or if you get in trouble
Speaker 1: some kind of with alcohol or drugs, and you did,
Speaker 1: then you get into the just testing programs. How do
Speaker 1: they know you were in trouble with drugs and alcohol?
Speaker 1: Why I went to rehab and eight seven describe that
Speaker 1: what happened obviously in eight six missing the parade and
Speaker 1: I go to spring training. I'm doing coke, you know,
Speaker 1: not obviously doing the games. Put them doing coke. Like
Speaker 1: I said, that night in spring training, you have to
Speaker 1: be the ballpark really early, so I did. I'm coming
Speaker 1: in there. I'm sure it looked like I've been up,
Speaker 1: you know, all day, all night. So then they called
Speaker 1: me in and say, you know, well these rooms going,
Speaker 1: let's put the rooms arrest. Can we test you? So
Speaker 1: sure you can test me because I know I hadn't
Speaker 1: did anything the night before, so obviously the tests come positive.
Speaker 1: So they give my option. They say, you go to
Speaker 1: rehab and we'll continue paying your salary or because suspending
Speaker 1: without pay. So I was easy, so I said, I'll
Speaker 1: go to rehab so I can continue being paid, even
Speaker 1: though still at that time I'm in treatment, but I'm
Speaker 1: still thinking I don't have a problem. So I was
Speaker 1: just marking days off the calendar to the third days
Speaker 1: was up. Get out of rehab. Now out, I'm bike
Speaker 1: working out with the Monogue teams, and then we get
Speaker 1: on the plane to join the team. Right back to drinking.
Speaker 1: So from ninety four I didn't I didn't use the drugs,
Speaker 1: but I was still drinking. So testing kind of scared you.
Speaker 1: Tested scared me, and plus it helped me for a
Speaker 1: little bit of a period of time, but it's just
Speaker 1: amount of time I was gonna go back because I
Speaker 1: was still drinking. And so when so when testing helped
Speaker 1: to keep you in line, and then after ninety four,
Speaker 1: didn't write where were you that season? What happened was
Speaker 1: ninety four the situation where like I said, it was
Speaker 1: already premeditated that I was definitely used again given opportunity
Speaker 1: SOT four, the first game of the season, I break
Speaker 1: my toe, so I get put on the deal. So
Speaker 1: now I'm rehabbing, getting bike in shape. And so when
Speaker 1: Dog's keeping a clearance to sort of planning, I go
Speaker 1: down to the mono leagues just to get some in
Speaker 1: and in and build my own scrint up. And the
Speaker 1: right away the disease tell me, hey, they're not testing
Speaker 1: you down here, I can get high while I'm down here,
Speaker 1: I've relapsed. And now when I joined the team, and
Speaker 1: since then there's the guy from me any Baseball waiting
Speaker 1: to test me. He test me obviously it's positive. I
Speaker 1: gets suspended. Then I go to our Betty Ford for
Speaker 1: you know, thirty days. I get out of there. So
Speaker 1: they wanted me to come back to New York. The
Speaker 1: Major League Baseball doctors. Before I went to Tampa. All
Speaker 1: I had to hear was the one doctor says, why
Speaker 1: don't you just drink? I don't do drugs. As soon
Speaker 1: as they said that, I'm thinking, even though I know,
Speaker 1: even though I know, I shouldn't have been two treatments
Speaker 1: at that time, and I know I can't drink, so
Speaker 1: I would say, Wow, maybe I could do it different
Speaker 1: this time. Obviously, when I leave that meeting, now I'm
Speaker 1: on the plane and fly home to Tampa to see
Speaker 1: my family. I'm drinking the plane I got off to
Speaker 1: that plane. I don't see my family for three days.
Speaker 1: You pick up right where you left off. Definitely definitely
Speaker 1: pick up right, which is what they say for me.
Speaker 1: I when I got sober, when I stopped drinking and
Speaker 1: I stopped taking drugs, which was many years ago when
Speaker 1: I was very young, it changed a lot of things
Speaker 1: from me. I made. It really changed my attitude walk
Speaker 1: to what I do for a living. I began to
Speaker 1: see the potential. And I don't want to say that
Speaker 1: it made me over awhelmingly cynical. That may be true
Speaker 1: right less, but it definitely made me more thoughtful and
Speaker 1: it made me more aware of where there was the
Speaker 1: unhealthiness and a lot of things we do relationships with people.
Speaker 1: You know what what was a healthy relationship, What was
Speaker 1: a healthy relationship with my family? And what was your
Speaker 1: relationship like with your parents. Now that you're rich and
Speaker 1: famous and honored and you have all these awards and
Speaker 1: you're coming apart, my mom she didn't care about that fame.
Speaker 1: And still they see she can come and see you
Speaker 1: did just spend talking. She would come up like during
Speaker 1: the season to see me, but she when't. She maybe
Speaker 1: came to maybe two games. She came to one in Houston,
Speaker 1: my very first start. She came to also a game
Speaker 1: in and maybe two stories in New York. My mom
Speaker 1: is a real Southern girl. She's from Georgia where they
Speaker 1: grow their own vegetables and fruit and you know, working
Speaker 1: the cotton field all that stuff. So baseball she enjoyed
Speaker 1: it moreen I was a kid than professionally, because see,
Speaker 1: like all the commotions would right, so from my dad,
Speaker 1: he kind of treat him in the same at the
Speaker 1: same time. I mean he was enjoying all the stuff
Speaker 1: that was going on. I mean he liked that because
Speaker 1: when I started playing baseball, initially it was his dream
Speaker 1: and then it became my dream. And as I mentioned
Speaker 1: a book where a lot of my parents like they
Speaker 1: had me at a later time in the stage, like
Speaker 1: I have five sibls, three brothers, and I'm the youngest
Speaker 1: by thirteen years, so I came later on. So obviously
Speaker 1: was a spot kid. My mom was very strict, you know,
Speaker 1: very direct with stuff. When my dad kind of gave
Speaker 1: me a pass with a lot of things as long
Speaker 1: as I was playing baseball. Without naming names, obviously, would
Speaker 1: you say that drug usage, I mean alcohol, it's uh,
Speaker 1: that's always been the case throughout history. But would you
Speaker 1: say the drug usage and particularly cocaine usage, Well, what
Speaker 1: what was the cocaine and drug usage like among professional
Speaker 1: athletes during the fro from when you started to when
Speaker 1: you finally got sober in two thousand. Yeah, I think that. Um,
Speaker 1: Obviously in the eighties it was it was available pretty
Speaker 1: much any time you wanted it, and a lot of
Speaker 1: people you knew were doing it. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: people doing it, and unfortunately the eight six Mats got
Speaker 1: labeled as a party team. At that time in early eighties,
Speaker 1: old teams was party. But because we're successful and was
Speaker 1: in New York, we got pointed out. Um a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff they said was true. But other teams and
Speaker 1: the police were doing the same thing. I think, who
Speaker 1: was a person that didn't party, who was kind of
Speaker 1: a straight arrow, who was the boy scout on the team,
Speaker 1: who would come up with you with any and wag
Speaker 1: their fingers in their face and say, shame on you.
Speaker 1: Don't you do that with several guys that didn't drink
Speaker 1: and didn't party, but they never like point of finger.
Speaker 1: I thought this was better. So no one came to
Speaker 1: you like a like a patriarchal figure and put his
Speaker 1: hand in here and said, hey man, you gotta slow down.
Speaker 1: No prime example, Gary Carter, great guy, I mean, obviously
Speaker 1: it was a great problem. Even a better person off
Speaker 1: the field. He never drink, he never hung out with
Speaker 1: was anything that like. He would go out to eat
Speaker 1: with us. But once we were saying we'll go out
Speaker 1: on the strip, and he said, okay, if you guys
Speaker 1: need me or whatever. I'm in my room. But they
Speaker 1: day it would come in with the red eyes, you know,
Speaker 1: you hung over. He never judged you. He just said,
Speaker 1: you know you're okay, everything's good. You had a good time. Good, okay,
Speaker 1: let's get back to work. And that was it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but nobody came to you and said and tried to intervene.
Speaker 1: I think one time, obviously, when a rumor started in
Speaker 1: coaches are management, But do you felt cared it wasn't
Speaker 1: about you. The one time that happened with me was
Speaker 1: six when a rumor started flying around that I was
Speaker 1: parting and whatever. Actually, very night he came up to
Speaker 1: him and said, doctor, you know, I'm hearing a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff that's going on, the rumors about They said,
Speaker 1: it's a black player on the team that's out, you know,
Speaker 1: doing drugs, hanging out. And again I denied to him
Speaker 1: and said, no, that's not me. He said, okay, I'll
Speaker 1: take your word to that. Sports is dominated on every level,
Speaker 1: from Major League Baseball and basketball. Obviously in football, every
Speaker 1: great sport and team sport, and many individual sports are
Speaker 1: dominated by African American players. But did you finally when
Speaker 1: you got into the world of major League ball was
Speaker 1: Racism ever a quality you had to deal with every
Speaker 1: be just a little bit my first year. Um, Like,
Speaker 1: I grew up in the neighborhood in Tampa where it's
Speaker 1: like a lot of Hispanics and a lot of whites
Speaker 1: web so I grew up accustomed to that. So I
Speaker 1: remember getting you to grew up accustomed to what everybody
Speaker 1: kept to themselves. No, just the different cultures living there
Speaker 1: in the same neighborhood. So I was ware of that
Speaker 1: even at school, you know, school activities. That's just the
Speaker 1: way it was, Like I just heard my mom and
Speaker 1: my dad tells stories. Obviously I was aware of the
Speaker 1: Jackie Robinson story, but I never witnessed that, so I
Speaker 1: couldn't relate until I drafted. I go to Keen Sports, Tennessee,
Speaker 1: so I'm there. I remember walking through the mall and
Speaker 1: it was me. This guy, FLORYD. Yoman's was another black player.
Speaker 1: I grew up what was on the team, And you
Speaker 1: can hear people kind of looking at us there, and
Speaker 1: I remember this one guy was working at his vendor
Speaker 1: says it must be baseball season. So I know what
Speaker 1: you meant, because it's not really that many blacks and Kingsport,
Speaker 1: and all other time was that I would go to
Speaker 1: Johnson City. It's an applican lye before the game was
Speaker 1: taking bad in practice or whatever. And I'm warming up
Speaker 1: on the side and you can hit these guys over there.
Speaker 1: I remember, like it was today, he goes watched that
Speaker 1: in chunked that watermoute. So I'm throwing so now while
Speaker 1: not throw them hanging out in outfield shagging balls. They're
Speaker 1: yelling all kinds of stuff at me and these other guys.
Speaker 1: And I remember this guy, Leon Williams was the center field.
Speaker 1: He goes doctor. They said one more word, We're going
Speaker 1: up there to get him. I said, no, no, you
Speaker 1: go up there, and I'm not going out there. But
Speaker 1: that was a really only time I experienced anything like that. Um,
Speaker 1: when you came to New York, none of them, I
Speaker 1: never got none of your years in Pro Bowl. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I've never had any of that. Everybody wasn't equal. Everybody
Speaker 1: was equal. Yes, everybody's was great, and even among the players,
Speaker 1: everybody was a brother in arms. I never had that
Speaker 1: problems up here. Um, in my life, I've always accorded
Speaker 1: a certain kind of respect and a kind of glory
Speaker 1: too pro athletes that I don't give to people in
Speaker 1: my business, you know. I mean, like, if you said
Speaker 1: to me, who's an actor you'd love to meet, I'd say,
Speaker 1: we're Humphrey Bogart, I'd love to meet. I want to
Speaker 1: meet William Holden. But to me, um athletes have always been,
Speaker 1: you know, just magnetic to me. We used to play
Speaker 1: a game. We'd say, if you could be any athlete,
Speaker 1: if you could play any pro position and you were
Speaker 1: guaranteed ten years healthy, you wouldn't get a debilitating injury.
Speaker 1: You'd be healthy for tenders, you get the crappy daddy,
Speaker 1: but you never you have to work hard. But if
Speaker 1: you could have any ten years in any individual sport
Speaker 1: or team sport, in any position, what would you take?
Speaker 1: And if you couldn't play baseball? And I hate this
Speaker 1: question question, but if you couldn't play baseball, what would
Speaker 1: you be? What sport would you dominate? For it dominate?
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll dominate, but I as if
Speaker 1: football is micro sport, like even though I played baseball obviously,
Speaker 1: but definitely on Sunday's you know, I go to church
Speaker 1: to you know hit, I mean, and then I'm in
Speaker 1: my basement in the restaurantnight, just the way it is.
Speaker 1: Who's your team Giants, big giant fans. I would say,
Speaker 1: I would like to be on the defensive fan of safety,
Speaker 1: you would. The thing is I played quarterback wall was
Speaker 1: very young. You did. But I don't like contact and
Speaker 1: I was a real thing kids, So I don't like contact.
Speaker 1: I like to hit guy on defense where you just
Speaker 1: worry about you getting interception and running. And I was
Speaker 1: definitely saying when they hit people not be hit exactly. Well, well,
Speaker 1: that's like pitching you on the defensive side. You don't
Speaker 1: have to worry about hind part, especially right right man.
Speaker 1: See Mi guel would have been Lawrence Teller on the field.
Speaker 1: And the reason I said, because I've never seen a
Speaker 1: defensive guy. You just changed the game, just changed the
Speaker 1: entire game. And you can see the fear in the
Speaker 1: quarterback guys. And he's talking smashed to him, Like watch
Speaker 1: some of the highlights and the sounds of the game
Speaker 1: watching him. Are you just talking smack to the quarterbacks
Speaker 1: and then doing it? So I just love to know
Speaker 1: get that field at one time on a defensive side,
Speaker 1: and like Lawrence Tanner's had just totally dominate. Um, what
Speaker 1: do you say to your kids? Your kids are high old?
Speaker 1: My kids are from three to twenty seven, So you
Speaker 1: have kids that knew how your top three oldest or
Speaker 1: how old? Twenty seven seven one? And I have an
Speaker 1: eighteen and sixteen right, so from sixteen and above. Let's
Speaker 1: say at that age, when they might be sticking their
Speaker 1: hand in a cooler down there in time water. Uh,
Speaker 1: what do you say to them when they because they
Speaker 1: know all about you, what's in the book. They all
Speaker 1: about me with the book. And even before the book
Speaker 1: came out, I would talk to my kids, UM, when
Speaker 1: you drink whatever, I said, look, use me as an example. UM,
Speaker 1: like older kids. When I got to the point felt comfortable,
Speaker 1: I had to talk with them, I said, basically to
Speaker 1: tell you how powerful drugs are called? Is I basically
Speaker 1: divorced you guys and your mother for drugs? I said,
Speaker 1: So just picture that. I said, you guys know how
Speaker 1: I felt when I wasn't around right and when I
Speaker 1: wasn't at your school activities, when I wanted to game,
Speaker 1: or if I was there, I really miss a miss
Speaker 1: a lot of that. And I say, just think what
Speaker 1: that did to me. And I said, you guys know
Speaker 1: my heart. You guys know the type of person, as
Speaker 1: I said, but once you get involved with that, you're
Speaker 1: not the same. And not only did you hurt yourself,
Speaker 1: but you hurt your loved ones like they forgive you
Speaker 1: like you guys, Yes, that was one of the things
Speaker 1: they forgave me. All they wanted me to be is
Speaker 1: healthy and be accountable to them. I don't make any
Speaker 1: promises to them, obviously, but I'm always there. I talked
Speaker 1: to him daily now and mostly Where where do they live?
Speaker 1: They spread out all over? Yeah, my daughter, you know,
Speaker 1: lives up here with me and my two little ones,
Speaker 1: having three and eight. There's women the rest are you
Speaker 1: man right now? Yes? What does your wife do? She's
Speaker 1: a school teacher. Where does she teach math? Last in
Speaker 1: a school? Yeah? So mostly in Jersey? In Jersey and
Speaker 1: then like now this summer she's doing something in Maryland.
Speaker 1: Where did you meet her? I usually met her. The
Speaker 1: first time I met her was in Detroit and we
Speaker 1: met through a meet friend. She was a flight attendant
Speaker 1: and a guy grow with with the flight attendant. What
Speaker 1: is it with you PROBA athletes and flight attendants? Man?
Speaker 1: Just physically she's a flight attendant. She was a flight
Speaker 1: attendant and Richard friend been married. I've been married for
Speaker 1: four years? And what and how many kids you have
Speaker 1: with her too? What are you doing with yourself? Now?
Speaker 1: What I do? I know what you're doing during the
Speaker 1: NFL season. You got a church, you get a meeting,
Speaker 1: Your down in the basement on the big jumbo screen
Speaker 1: watching TV all day? Me with me both? That's it now?
Speaker 1: I UM. I see my eight year old son and
Speaker 1: he plays baseball and football. Where he in Inglewood clips
Speaker 1: he's here, So I um. When I have the opportunity
Speaker 1: to help to coach this team, I do work with
Speaker 1: the mess sand Yankees. Um. I couldn't do that when
Speaker 1: Mrs Simro was living. It was only Yankee or nothing.
Speaker 1: So now, unfortunately, pass I get to work a little
Speaker 1: bit with both teams. Do that, do a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff with the youth program in my true passions, anything
Speaker 1: with kids? Right? Do you ever throw a baseball anymore?
Speaker 1: Very little? I can't believe you said that, because I
Speaker 1: went to a golf tournament the other day and Doug
Speaker 1: Flutie was there, and I'm a huge Flutie fan. I said,
Speaker 1: do you ever throw a football anyway? Says, no, they
Speaker 1: don't do it. He never throws a football, And I said,
Speaker 1: you gotta be kidding me. Musr throwing a football. You
Speaker 1: must have thrown a million football show his rally show
Speaker 1: with Tim Wakefield learning how to throw a knuckleball. That
Speaker 1: you never throw a baseball anymore. I thought a little
Speaker 1: bit with my kids. But nothing off the mount, nothing
Speaker 1: like that. Nothing. No throwing out a ball in the
Speaker 1: first you've done the first ball done that. That's fun
Speaker 1: and um ilely. About two weeks ago I played in
Speaker 1: a Dodgers Yankee O talban. This game at Dodger Stadium
Speaker 1: was pretty cool. If the if the Doc Gooding you
Speaker 1: are now, or I should say the Dwight Gooden you
Speaker 1: are now, I could go back and talk to the
Speaker 1: Doc goodnn What would you say to him? Maybe I
Speaker 1: would say, be honest with yourself, remove that mass you
Speaker 1: don't speak in mind, and put yourself often a good
Speaker 1: position instead of pleasing others, even though it's danger for
Speaker 1: myself and you felt you did a lot of people
Speaker 1: pleasing that a lot of people pleasing. I still struggle
Speaker 1: with that today, not as bad as I was, but
Speaker 1: it's still room for improvement. Why I think it just
Speaker 1: started when I was a kid, and part of me
Speaker 1: is surviving that household, surviving household and none of that.
Speaker 1: I have a genuine heart, But I also I gotta understand,
Speaker 1: you gotta draw the line somewhere. You can't put yourself
Speaker 1: in danger a way. Your dad died when he passed.
Speaker 1: Where were you when you're done? Actually? Um, I was
Speaker 1: in Tampa when it happened. Um, Actually the last game,
Speaker 1: my dad told me pitch wasn't no hitter, and I
Speaker 1: talked about that in the book where he had He
Speaker 1: had been struggling for a while with his kid in
Speaker 1: the failures on Dallass for like fifteen years. His health
Speaker 1: was deteriorating and they felt he had to have emergency
Speaker 1: heart surgery. They felt if he didn't have the surgery,
Speaker 1: he probably wouldt last on a month or two. And
Speaker 1: even if he had the surgery, can guarantee he's gonna
Speaker 1: last a month or two. But he definitely had a
Speaker 1: surgery the day that pitched on hit. I was supposed
Speaker 1: to fly home in the build him that day because
Speaker 1: having a surgery next morning. I had my flight reservation everything.
Speaker 1: But uh, when I woke up that morning, you know,
Speaker 1: I remember taking a shower and brash my teeth, and
Speaker 1: I just started reminiscent of all the days we spent
Speaker 1: at the park. Him teaching me to drills, made him
Speaker 1: going through the spring training games, made him watching games
Speaker 1: on TV. From him, I learned from him, like how
Speaker 1: to pitch, basically knew everything I learned about baseballs from him. Um,
Speaker 1: And would you learn from him as a father? As
Speaker 1: a father is putting family first? Understanding you believe he did? Yes,
Speaker 1: definitely understanding in his way, in his way, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean he might have it, didn't live it, but just
Speaker 1: telling me, you know, family comes first, family values, set
Speaker 1: a good example for your kids as well. So that
Speaker 1: day I felt he will. Probably in some ways he
Speaker 1: didn't set a good example for you. Well with the
Speaker 1: woman I was in or whatever. That's what I wonder
Speaker 1: if sometimes that's part of what happened. Was you trying
Speaker 1: to make peace with those two, because that's where I
Speaker 1: came to in my life. Once I got sober and
Speaker 1: I showed up to examined what was bothering me. What
Speaker 1: I began to realize was I did my parents were people? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did you find that that was a part of what
Speaker 1: aid at you know, the contradictions inside your dad with
Speaker 1: with him, No, I would say not at all. Um,
Speaker 1: he was there like a lot of things that he
Speaker 1: was doing. I thought you became a womanizer. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: became a woman and the thing my dad's were doing
Speaker 1: with the drinking whatever, like I never actually saw him
Speaker 1: with the one whatever, so he kept it all the
Speaker 1: way from my parents never are going find me. So
Speaker 1: I just thought it was you know, everything was great.
Speaker 1: So you're saying that song Daddy's got a girlfriend, right,
Speaker 1: You outed your would get water or something. You actually
Speaker 1: you accidentally threw. That's a violent thing you described in
Speaker 1: the book. That's really really cool. Well, I just want
Speaker 1: to say that, Um, I really am very grateful to
Speaker 1: you that you wrote that book. I mean, I really
Speaker 1: really commend you for writing that book. You appreciate you.
Speaker 1: You did the doctor Drew thing. What year that was
Speaker 1: two thousand eleven, So you went back because you went
Speaker 1: out again, Yes, and you went out when you were
Speaker 1: sober from when to win from the last time from
Speaker 1: two thousand and ten. I was very acting my addiction
Speaker 1: what I was going through this, But you were sober
Speaker 1: two thousand two till win two thousand UM to two
Speaker 1: thousand three, and then I went back out there and
Speaker 1: I was basically and then in and out of my
Speaker 1: addiction until so you eate and out for eight more
Speaker 1: years and you got busted. Uh two thou, Yes, you
Speaker 1: do something, you get busted. Where what what happened was
Speaker 1: in Franklin Lakes and New Jersey. I had got charged
Speaker 1: with child endangerment where I took ambien the night before,
Speaker 1: woke up to take my son to school, obviously hit
Speaker 1: a car and they wanted to get me out and
Speaker 1: do the fhild sobriety tests, which as we're talking to me,
Speaker 1: I'm building off and Mr taken a couple of ambien. Yes,
Speaker 1: it sounds to get well, the one ambient right. So
Speaker 1: then you get charged child endangerment because you were in
Speaker 1: a vehicle with a child. Yes, How old was the
Speaker 1: child my son at that time that was two thousand ten,
Speaker 1: you know he would have been five. You were married
Speaker 1: to your wife then, yes, newly married almost yes? And
Speaker 1: what happened? Did you go to prison? Did jail? Rather? No?
Speaker 1: After time? No time, got probation and I went that's
Speaker 1: why I went to the doctor Drew show what what
Speaker 1: what What did you think was unique about that? What
Speaker 1: helped you about that? Going to the doctor's room, I
Speaker 1: can help you definitely helped me. But I think the
Speaker 1: thing was I was ready to get help the times
Speaker 1: before with the treatment. I was just basically there during
Speaker 1: my time. As you know, in treatment, what you put
Speaker 1: in is what you get out. I was just ready.
Speaker 1: It was the time of my life where I knew
Speaker 1: I had been a you know, rehabs. I've been the institutions.
Speaker 1: I've been a jail. I've been a prison. The only
Speaker 1: thing waiting with the cemetery. When did you go to prison?
Speaker 1: I went. The prison was six four for technical ablation
Speaker 1: for it was a relapse. How long were you in there?
Speaker 1: Ten a half months? What was that like? Horrible hole
Speaker 1: in Gainesville, Florida. That was horrible any time you get
Speaker 1: locked up and crossder Well facility. You were in a
Speaker 1: state prison, but going there at the age forty is horrible.
Speaker 1: State prison. Yes, you were in a state prison in Gainesville,
Speaker 1: Florida for ten months, and they all knew who you
Speaker 1: were and did all like the biggest time I've been
Speaker 1: making a joke here, but like the biggest toughest guys
Speaker 1: in the prison who could probably beat the crap and
Speaker 1: even come up and tell you that they would protect
Speaker 1: you if you taught them the secret and how to
Speaker 1: throw the fastball. I didn't get into that. Did you
Speaker 1: take a ball? Like show them how the thing is
Speaker 1: going with the laces? They leave you alone. Listen, Ray,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show this to you one time and then
Speaker 1: that's it. I want you to promise if you're gonna
Speaker 1: leave out and there you found out the first thing
Speaker 1: you're there, You're just a number. You're not even a name.
Speaker 1: It's horrible. Yes, who did you become friends with it?
Speaker 1: Did you any what kind of time? There's a couple
Speaker 1: of guys that I knew from as kids that I
Speaker 1: hadn't seen since childhood and found him in air because
Speaker 1: they've been in and out the whole life. So but
Speaker 1: that it helped the time go by fast. It was
Speaker 1: just a horrible, horrible time Harbor experience. When you got
Speaker 1: out of there, how did you feel it was different?
Speaker 1: And I totally agree, Um, guy, I was telling me
Speaker 1: when guys getting cross ready and you're there for basically
Speaker 1: ten months or longer, it takes that same amount of
Speaker 1: time when you get out to get back to your yourself.
Speaker 1: And I found that once I got out, I was
Speaker 1: still living like I was a prisoner. I wouldn't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: I was just stay in the house and I was
Speaker 1: just basically doing time on the streets. So it was
Speaker 1: a horrible harbor time too, I can get comfortable. How
Speaker 1: to I had all started going to the meetings after that,
Speaker 1: UM got a sponsor, this guy Ron Do Now when
Speaker 1: you first went to meetings after that? No, I went
Speaker 1: to meetings before, but I just got totally back into
Speaker 1: the program. The program saved you. Yeah, they got me
Speaker 1: going and got me, you know, feeling good about myself again.
Speaker 1: So two thousand eleven, you uh Franklin Lakes the car thing?
Speaker 1: Am being the child child endangerment? You don't do any time? No,
Speaker 1: And I had five months probation and basically had to
Speaker 1: go to treatment. Went to I would like to Drew,
Speaker 1: I was there for three weeks. When I got out,
Speaker 1: I went to treatment. Did he strike you? How did
Speaker 1: he help you? He was a nice guy. When I
Speaker 1: got out, I went to uh maw Jersey for a
Speaker 1: year outpatient and that's what that's what keeping me going right.
Speaker 1: How was your wife? She cool about it. No, okay, no, no,
Speaker 1: that was sounds tough time. Yeah, that was tough. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a story for another day. But it was okay.
Speaker 1: It's a tough thing though, you know. That's very tough.
Speaker 1: That's that's the thing I'll tell my kids. It's tough
Speaker 1: not only on you, but it's tough on you all
Speaker 1: your loved ones. Yeah, you put everybody else through it, Yes, definitely.
Speaker 1: I got people in my family, man, It's like they
Speaker 1: got a lot of records in their past thinking a lot,
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff is on their times. You can't
Speaker 1: have them forgive you on your time because we're doing
Speaker 1: like right now. So they have to work through their
Speaker 1: things and get to a point where they accept what happened.
Speaker 1: We can't force him. That's the thing that I found out.
Speaker 1: You can learn more about Dwight Gooden's life in his
Speaker 1: recently released autobiography doc a memoir. This is Alec Baldwin
Speaker 1: and you're listening to here's the thing