1 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the thing, 2 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: my guest. Dwight Gooden is known especially to baseball fans 3 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:24,280 Speaker 1: as the once brilliant nineteen year old pitching phenom from Tampa, Florida. 4 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: He had a blistering fastball and a notoriously deceptive curveball. 5 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: Those two pitches earned him the Rookie of the Year 6 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 1: award in nineteen eighty four. In eighty five, he won 7 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,160 Speaker 1: the Cy Young In eighty six, he led the Mets 8 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 1: to one of their best seasons ever, ending with a 9 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: World Series championship. Gooden had some winning seasons after that, 10 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 1: but nothing matched those first three years. Instead, his public 11 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: battles with alcohol and cocaine became the dominant story of 12 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: his career, leading sports historians to write about what might 13 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 1: have been rather than what was. At the very least, 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: Dwight Gooden's addiction ruined what should have been the greatest 15 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:09,199 Speaker 1: day of his life, the six World Series win. After 16 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,479 Speaker 1: the game was over, I'm celebrating the clubhouse with my teammates. 17 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: Then I going to bake in the trainer's room. I 18 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: called my dad. We talked about the game, and he's happy. 19 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: And we're celebrating, and then the night call went right 20 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: to my friend who knew the dealer. When my friend 21 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: was the go to guy, told him I was coming 22 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: by the later and my goal was to go by there, 23 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: get some drugs, and meet my teammates at local bar 24 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: after that. But unfortunately, you know, Dick don't don't allow that, right, 25 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: So your friend, a friend that you knew, called the 26 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: dealer for you to tee up the ball for you 27 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,320 Speaker 1: to go score. Well, what it was is, um, I 28 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: wanted a lot of stuff. I wanted to party and celebrate. Unfortunately, 29 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: go to the house and projects in Long Island with 30 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: the dealer, with the dealer. So I'm in there. What 31 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: about ten people I probably know too. That's the friends 32 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: from Tampa and the dealer. So we're sitting there partying, 33 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: having good time, and now I'm thinking I'll be here 34 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 1: for maybe an hour of them to cut out. But 35 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: once those rails hit the mirror, Yeah, once you started, 36 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: once you start, yeah, it's cryptonite. That was always my 37 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: track record. I'm just going to do a little bit. 38 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: Then three days later you're doing the same thing. Dwight 39 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: Gooden has been sober since two thousand eleven when he 40 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: went on celebrity rehab. And he has just written a 41 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: deeply personal book entitled Duck, a Memoir, which chronicles everything 42 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: from his complicated relationship with his father to his meteoric 43 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,399 Speaker 1: rise and his drug use and the toll that took 44 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: on him. You come from an error when uh, drugs 45 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: predominate as much as alcohol or alcohol is one drug 46 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: on a menu of drugs, because alcohol certainly is a drug, 47 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: as you would you acknowledge that, as you say, I 48 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: called a definite drug. And the error I was in 49 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: what like you say, um before me was heavy drinking, 50 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: you know in the seventies where have you? And probably 51 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: pot from right here Meyer is basically you know, cocaine 52 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: and drinking. The alcohol is available and every club house 53 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 1: you go to, whether it's on the road or at home, 54 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: and even at home. And when you say alcohol was 55 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: a very but what was the kind of culture of that? 56 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: Meaning when the game was over all professional ball players 57 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: and management and coaching kind of acknowledged that when the 58 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: games over we we we gave it our best for 59 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: Pro Bowl players and we've earned a drink and everybody 60 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: has a drink. So they had a full bar there. Yeah, 61 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: pretty much as normal, Like you go into the lounge 62 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 1: where you have the food, you have the water and drinks, 63 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 1: and then you got the beer and then the private 64 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: stats and the back with the hard stuff. Especially like 65 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,959 Speaker 1: at the day game, was staying because we want a 66 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 1: way to put the traffic down and we just sit 67 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: around talking baseball, talking about the games, and just drinking. 68 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: You started your professional career when you were how old 69 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: professional drafted a seventeen, played a year and a half 70 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: in the Monitors. It's amazing that nine team. And what 71 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: was amazing was at the game. If we're on the road, 72 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: there was always one of the veteran players say Docu 73 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: pitching tomorrow. If I said no, it's okay, y'reat with us. 74 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: And I remembers one time I did a commercial Pepsi 75 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: commercial with Catfish Hunter, and so they started playing commercial. 76 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: When in Chicago at the day game, we go to 77 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: this bar and the commercial comes on and the bartowners 78 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: looking at the commercially looking at me, looking at the commercial. 79 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: I think it goes I don't think you don't have 80 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: to be in here, you know, so he sounds funny. 81 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: You could hanging out here, but I can't start any more. 82 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: One are the traps of famous. Everybody knows who you are, 83 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: and they know who you are on every level. But 84 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: so when you're nineteen years old, even when you get 85 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: drafted at seventeen. But I would imagine I've got to 86 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: believe that even when you were in Triple A and 87 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: you were up in them, when the miners and you 88 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: were seventeen, they protected you more. They shielded you from 89 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: certain things more. Were you sticking your hand into a 90 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: cooler and pulling a beer out of there too when 91 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: you were seventeen, Definitely pulling out. Once you're in that league, 92 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: once you're in with that group of people, you're one 93 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 1: of them, and you act like them on every level, 94 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: at every level. You know, myself, I was a paper pleaser, 95 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: so people pleaser, just trying to fit in. You got 96 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: new teammates, you know, guys says out of college or 97 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: been in the monors for a while, but here you're 98 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 1: out of high school. A lot of times, like again, 99 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: alcohol in the clubhouse was available so at the game, 100 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: so I was just like, you started drinking now you 101 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 1: had you been drinking on the streets of Florida when 102 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,919 Speaker 1: you were hanging out in those neighborhoods you grew up 103 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: with your mom and dad. A lot of times I 104 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: got in high school, I got there at a football game, 105 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: you know, on Friday night, at the game is over. 106 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: We had this piece of place we'll go to and 107 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: hang out and guys will have drinks, and I would 108 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: be a part of that. You would, yes, So it's 109 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: not like the kid who's on the mound when you're 110 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: pitching as a little boy, as you describe in the book, 111 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: and your dad's teaching the underage kid how to throw 112 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: the curveball. You started throwing the curba when you were 113 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: seven years old, correct. Your dad taught you, against the 114 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: advice of some people maybe you were too young. Your 115 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: dad taught you had to throw the curveball. And then, 116 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: and I think it's safe to say, I mean, I'm 117 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: only being half cute when I say this. Your first 118 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: addiction was throwing the curveball, wasn't it. Oh definitely exactly. 119 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 1: That's where it all started addiction. And I want used 120 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: to Once you learned it through the curb ball, you 121 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: couldn't stop stop you want to do it. And I 122 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: think a lot of times, like you said, now, kids 123 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: are told not to throw a curveball to get an 124 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 1: eighteen years on thirteen or fourteen. It's just my opinion. 125 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: I don't think that's the wrong with the kids on 126 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: the curb ball said ten leven. I wouldn't recommend thoring 127 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: tenor leaving curve balls a game, But if the mechanics 128 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 1: are right, if you got your arm in the right 129 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 1: position to throw it, you know, two or three game. 130 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,479 Speaker 1: I don't think we hurt. But that kid who when 131 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: someone would get a hit off you when you didn't perform, well, 132 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: you admit in the book, and you got very upset. 133 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: You cracked up a few times. You get really emotional. 134 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: You're a boy who's learning how to handle this stress 135 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: and handle this pressure. When does that kid pick up 136 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: his first drink? When does that kid start in that? 137 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: You watched your family go through that. Yeah, actually, um, 138 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: I found out later in my recovery that my dad 139 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: was actually alcoholic at the time. Grew up in Alice. 140 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,039 Speaker 1: Just think it's the normal thing guys do. They come 141 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 1: home from work, they eat dinner, they sit, you know, 142 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: watch a game, and they have some beers. So basically, 143 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: my first separate alcohol was probably about ten eleven years old, 144 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: I took a sip with my dad's beer when he 145 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: wasn't watching, when he wasn't watching, wasn't watching, and unfortunately 146 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: I like to taste. I remember four or five months 147 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,720 Speaker 1: later after that, we had a family picnic and they 148 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: had a cooler beer. That made a buddy of mine 149 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: just jumped in a cool and drunken beer. And that's 150 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: the first time my mom jumped me because I was 151 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: pretty wasted from the one beer that Now, now, when 152 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: you did you either of your parents your dad, If 153 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 1: I read the book correctly, your dad cared about you 154 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: a great and he invested very heavily in your playing ball. 155 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: So was he on you. But the drug and alcohol thing, 156 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 1: was he riding you about that? You know? It was 157 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: amazing The first time I know, I really hurt my 158 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: dad was. My mom was more a vocal about that. 159 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,320 Speaker 1: My dad was. He always participated in my baseball games 160 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: at an early age, as well as my school activities. 161 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 1: I remember in the first time I tested positive, I 162 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: had to come home and tell my parents I was 163 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: going to treatment. My mom was like, Okay, that's good son, 164 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: I can get the help you need. My dad just 165 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: kind of dropped his head never said a word. That 166 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 1: probably hurt me more knowing that I hurt him by 167 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: him not saying anything I'd rather for him. And that 168 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: was how he expressed his deepest disappointment. But he didn't 169 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: say anything, Well, he didn't saything. I'd rather for him 170 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: to say, you know, sonya loser or whatever. I just 171 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: wanted something, but he never did, never said one word. 172 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: So you go from stick in your hands in a 173 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 1: cooler at a family event and then you're sticking your 174 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: hand in a cooler in the Triple A ball there 175 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: in the minors when you're playing for what world organization 176 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: where you drafted you? Yeah, I was drafted by the 177 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: mess You were in tide Water. No. Actually my first 178 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: year when I got drafted, I went to Kingsport, Tennessee, 179 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: which is working ball. Towood was the Triple A. I 180 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: end up going there my second year for the playoffs 181 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: in the Roal series. And so describe what happens when 182 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: you're gonna go into the big leagues. I'll tell you 183 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: what was amazing. While I was in Triple A. David 184 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: Johnson was the manager and I pitched well for him 185 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: in the playoffs. From the Triple A Roural Series, and 186 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: he said, where my manage nature, You're on the team 187 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: that winner he got the job, really manager, So just 188 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: jokingly I called him and I said, David, very much. 189 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: You told me, you said, I don't worry about it. 190 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: You come in to the spring training, you're gonna be 191 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 1: on the team. About two weeks for spring training and started, 192 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: I get a call because I wentn't at that time 193 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 1: you had to have three years in the minors before 194 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: you get put on the roster. Only had one year 195 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: and a half. So I get the call, You're coming 196 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 1: to Pickley camp as a non roster player. So the 197 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: whole while doing spring training, the front office kept said 198 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 1: we was going to send him to double A, maybe 199 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: triple A. But then David coming to me and say, 200 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: don't worry about it, You're gonna make the team. How 201 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: do they do that? Well, three years in the minors 202 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 1: is recommended, or it's a rule. It's it's a rule 203 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: for its being on the roster. But you can had 204 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: a guy at this first year before he's ready, but 205 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 1: you don't technically have to. But after three years in 206 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: the matters, you gotta put the gall on your roster. 207 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: You gotta put him through waivers where any team can 208 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 1: claim like guy. So the last game of spring training, 209 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: we're playing in St. Petersburg and after the game, we're 210 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: flying out to Cincinnati. Just started the season. So I 211 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: didn't want to bring my bags into the clubhouse, you know, 212 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: to take with me because I hadn't officially heard anything. 213 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: So I kept on bags in the car just in case. 214 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,079 Speaker 1: So about the fifth in and of the last spring 215 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: training game, David Johnson comes there and he shakes my 216 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,840 Speaker 1: hands the congratulations you made the team, and I'm like wow. 217 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: And at that point, I mean, you got this great 218 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: feeling that you're living in your childhood dream. But part 219 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,199 Speaker 1: of me is thinking, man, if I'm really ready for this, 220 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 1: you know, I'm only nineteen. I remember calling my dad 221 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 1: told I made the team and just hearing the joy 222 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: because my dad he didn't really show any you know, 223 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,600 Speaker 1: you couldn't tell you a very quiet guy, laid back 224 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: and you didn't know, he never showed any emotions. But 225 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,080 Speaker 1: that day he was showed some with motion over the phone, 226 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: and we enjoyed that. So you go to New York 227 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: win what month of what the year? We had to 228 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: New York. We actually we opened up in Cincinnati, which 229 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 1: was great for me because I grew up in Cincinat 230 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: a rich fan because growing up in Tampa has spring 231 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 1: training down there in the seventies. So we played in 232 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: Cincinnati and get my first start in Houston and old Astrodome. 233 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: My parents did watching the game, I get that win 234 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,559 Speaker 1: was great and the first game one, yes, nineteen years old, 235 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: ninete years old. How many strikeouts you? I think I 236 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: had five? You know what people remember remember keeping these 237 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: athletes like I think I hate the ball he took 238 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: to God was like, I think I double bogie that 239 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: whole back in nineteen and sev Remember after that game, 240 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: my dad said, how do you feel? I say, I 241 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: feel good. I should win a lot of games my 242 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,679 Speaker 1: very next start as in Chicago, We're gonna feel I 243 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: don't get a third in it. I mean I get 244 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: just shell. So now my dad says, well son, what 245 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 1: do you think? Now, I'm saying, I don't know if 246 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: I'm ready. Just from two stars you go back and fourth. 247 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: So it was just amazing. It's two extremes. How many 248 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: games did you pitch the first season when you win 249 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 1: the first season? I think I had about thirty two starts. 250 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: He had thirty two starts, so they were all in 251 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: on you. They wanted you. It was there, definitely, you 252 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 1: were you were in the rotation. Yeah, I was in 253 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: the rotation. I got a seventeen wins, seventeen and nine, 254 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: made the All Star team. My first year led the 255 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,719 Speaker 1: league in strikeouts, and it was amazing because as you 256 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: met and when when I first got there, it wasn't 257 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: too much of expectations, but after the All Star break, 258 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: there was a lot of expectations. It was more seats, 259 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: I mean more fans in the seats to the days 260 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,959 Speaker 1: I would pitch. It was more media. At that time, 261 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 1: I felt great, you know, because I think at you 262 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: high it did, and then when you're off, you want 263 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: to maintain that high. How do you do that? Well? 264 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 1: My first year, like you said, it was definitely a 265 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,199 Speaker 1: drawing and rush. Having all the fans they're training for you, 266 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: and you're striking out the winning and you're winning. It 267 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: was no better feeling than that. And plus at my age, 268 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: you're having fun. You pitched against a lot of guys 269 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: you analyzed just a year prior to that, and then 270 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 1: in the next year, I have an even better year. 271 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: I have a career year, and you know, you go 272 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: out there, it's almost like, Ben, did you do differently 273 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: the second year? We're just more confident. It was more confident, 274 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: more like I had another year experience on my belt. 275 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: And not that I was cocky, but I had a 276 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 1: lot of confidence. And Garrett Carter came over that year. 277 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: He was All star catcher for me, which is a 278 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: big plus for me. What did Carter bring for you 279 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: as a catcher that helped you? I think the way 280 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: he communicated with me, he didn't want to just win. 281 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,199 Speaker 1: He wanted to dominate and me even though I want 282 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: to dominate, but like say if I was winning a 283 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: game to nothing and then or fifteen nothing and I 284 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: started just messing around with pitches, he will come out 285 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,679 Speaker 1: there and get in my face that you know I 286 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: don't like, No, let's just stick this guys. Stick what 287 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 1: you know, Let's totally dominate these guys. So when you're 288 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: facing a batter, have you pre assessed before a game 289 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 1: every single battery you're gonna face in that game that 290 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: they was I only had two pitches, fastball and curbs. 291 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: A lot of times they're like, this guy is a 292 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,679 Speaker 1: great fastball hitter. And came through the guy curball for strikes, 293 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,440 Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, why shouldn't be pitching? I'm done, you know. 294 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 1: But basically I always pitched to my strength and make 295 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: the hitter suggests and a lot of times what I 296 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 1: would do. Also, I should like to watch the box scores, 297 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: Like if I knew I was gonna face the Cardinals, 298 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: say three days from now, I'll start watching the box 299 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 1: scores and who's hot, who's doing what a couple of 300 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: days before that, so I have an idea which guy 301 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 1: swinging the bat? World? So if you have I'm not 302 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: a baseball player. I love going to the ball game. 303 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: I love watching a baseball game live. It's a great treat. 304 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: So you're standing there and you're at the top of 305 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: your game. Now you're twenties years old. During your second season, 306 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 1: you're more confident, and you look at in your mind 307 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: and imaginary strikes on the knees to the shoulders. You 308 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: got the home plate there in those four corners high 309 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: and tight, high and outside, low and tight low and outside. 310 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: Could you basically throw the ball in the festival anywhere 311 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,559 Speaker 1: you want it. You can make it go where you 312 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,680 Speaker 1: wanted to go. Five where I out five. It was 313 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 1: like from the first game to the pick your spot, 314 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 1: I was just right there and they have to think 315 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,960 Speaker 1: about it. Everything just came and the bull would go 316 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: where you basically go right there. I would saying how 317 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:33,320 Speaker 1: many I wasn't even where from to ninety Who's the 318 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:36,079 Speaker 1: fastest picture in baseball that you know? Right now? Who 319 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 1: who was at that time? I was? Any time? Who's 320 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 1: been the fastest? I think Nolan Ryan? What do you 321 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: supposedly they say top out of one on three? Now 322 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,080 Speaker 1: you see these guys doing a hundred ninety nine. But 323 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 1: also you have to remember all the new stadium, they 324 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 1: got the radar guns and there they turned out like 325 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: three or four miles hour faster, just for the fans 326 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: and the unfortunately found out the hard way. I went 327 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,559 Speaker 1: to Cleveland towards end of my career, and when I 328 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: left the Yankees in ninety seven, I probably stopping out 329 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,199 Speaker 1: maybe ninety two n three. So I go to Cleveland 330 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: and pitching at home in the game, the clock's got 331 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,959 Speaker 1: me at ninety six seven, I'm thinking, wow, my fastball, 332 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:11,480 Speaker 1: I'm back. Unfortunately, three What did I have for breakfast today? 333 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 1: Write it down? Ready to go? Unfortunately, three innings later, 334 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: you know I have given on seven runs, four home runs, 335 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: who knows how many heads. So now when I get 336 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: knocked out of the game, I going room with the 337 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: guy that keeps the video and I'm looking at my 338 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,120 Speaker 1: chart and seeing who did what? And did I see 339 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: like eighty seven eighty nine? And I'm actually, what is 340 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: these numbers here? Is that's your philosophy? I said, out there, 341 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 1: have me throwing ninety seven? He said no, No No, I 342 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: was tarted up for the fans. So I found out 343 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: the heart way a little bit of show business. Yea. 344 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: So now when you see all these guys storing ninety 345 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 1: eight and comedy the feeling. So when you're out there 346 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: when you're younger, give me an example of a batter 347 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: that always vexed you, that really just drove you crazy. 348 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 1: Chili David's hands down when it was with the Semco 349 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: Giant sells the mens. Yeah, it didn't matter if I 350 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: was on top of my game and not. He would 351 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 1: get hits off me. And what do you attribute that too? 352 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: I think it was just the way you're both built. 353 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 1: I think what he was built to hit your ball. Yeah, 354 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: I think the way he was he wasn't like um 355 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 1: intimidated by because a couple of times I threw in 356 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: his head to try to intimidate him. It didn't matter. 357 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 1: He just was staying. If I didn't have my good stuff, 358 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 1: he was hitting home runs. If I had good stuff, 359 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: he was getting bags sits. So when you go high 360 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: and type, you do it to intimidate them. Most of 361 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 1: times it's just you're not doing brush them back right. 362 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: You don't want to hurt them body or hit him 363 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: in the head, but just want to think, to start 364 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: thinking and keep them for getting comfortable. But Chilian didn't 365 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 1: phase him. And it is weird because some hitters, when 366 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 1: you talk to him some pictures, they just see the 367 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,320 Speaker 1: ball a lot better than other pictures because it's like 368 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: guard number five starter, so they couldn't get a hit 369 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: off from him. But I'm like the number one starter 370 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: and he's just wearing me out. Is I'm real? How 371 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 1: to happen? Sometimes? What was it like for you? I mean, obviously, 372 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 1: often baseball pictures are not known as great hitters. Is 373 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: it just because the way they're they're muscular, sure, and 374 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: their whole physiognomy is such way, they just don't swing 375 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 1: about the same way. No, you'd imagine that a picture 376 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: and just in terms of mechanics, would be a very 377 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: good hitter. Well, most pictures, like in a little league, 378 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: in high school or college's great hitters. But what happens 379 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: when you get drafted as a picture. You don't get 380 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 1: the work on it no more. They don't care how 381 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: you hit right and when you're throwing the ball, ball 382 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: work on your button. So if he was in the 383 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: mount of actually for five years, well, picking up a 384 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: bat you just lose a little bit. But I was 385 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: fortunate that I had eight home runs in my career, 386 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 1: which I was very proud of, and I want a 387 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: several Suggles Award that's like the best in Picture for 388 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 1: that year. So I got that. I just take a 389 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: lot of pride in my hitting as well. Well. Now, 390 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to be too reductive about the state 391 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: of Florida, but Florida back then, in the eighties and nineties, 392 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 1: Florida was to cocaine what Detroit is to cars, you know. 393 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: I mean there was a lot of drugs down there, 394 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: and in the Miami Vice era, so to speak. When 395 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: you went to cocaine, when you were down there before 396 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 1: you came up here, not no. I Um, what was 397 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: your introduction to cocaine? My induction in cocaine? What was 398 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: your drug of choice? Correct? Yes, my induxtter cocaine was 399 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: Actually I had a cousin who was a dialer and 400 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: he also was a pimp. So I was going to 401 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: get some pot Where was he in Tampa? Okay? So 402 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: I was going to house. This was the one. I 403 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: go to this house. You already playing, yes, So I 404 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: go to this house to get some pot. Um. He said, 405 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: I don't have it right now, let me run out 406 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 1: and get it. So when he left the house to 407 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: go get it, I'm kind of moping around his house 408 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 1: and now I'll see two girls in this room making out. 409 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: And so that was turned on by that they see 410 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,639 Speaker 1: if they say, oh yeah, you know, look at it 411 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 1: and coming here. One has some fun with us, and 412 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 1: so I'm thinking, yeah, it would be nice, you know, 413 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 1: have some from And they say, well, do a little 414 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 1: bit of this what we're doing, and you can join 415 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,159 Speaker 1: in with us. And at first I was like fighting us. Now, 416 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,239 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna touch that to do it. But what 417 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: they was doing to each other's attract them to me. 418 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 1: So I pull a bit on my tongue and it's 419 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: like my whole face just went on. And I was thinking, 420 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 1: I'll just do one. It's not gonna do anything, and 421 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 1: I'll join in with them. Unfortunately, that one line I did, 422 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: I followed a funny way. Sex was the gateway to 423 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: cocaine for here. Yes, And that's always been my try record, 424 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: Like script clubs, hanging out at bars, stuff like that 425 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: eventually get the same results every time. So I've changed 426 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,360 Speaker 1: my whole work living. And why do you think that, 427 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,360 Speaker 1: I mean, one of the things that happens. How old 428 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,680 Speaker 1: are you now? Now I'm forty, you're forty, and I'm 429 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 1: fifty five. And now for you, I wonder have you 430 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 1: been able to kind of revisit because you talk about 431 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: your childhood and you talk about the contradiction and you 432 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,159 Speaker 1: don't necessarily use that word I was. I read it 433 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: very carefully when you talked about, you know, the kind 434 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: of craziness in your household. Your uncle shot your aunt 435 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,239 Speaker 1: in front of you. It was you, It was your 436 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 1: brother in, but you called him uncle uncle g W. 437 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 1: But he wasn't really your uncle. He was your brother 438 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: Inn from your much older sister. So you were six 439 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 1: years old and your sister was twenty years old. It 440 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: was like a fourteen more difference if I incorrect. So 441 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 1: you're you're in that scenario and this guy shoots your 442 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,919 Speaker 1: sister in the head right in front of you. You 443 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: grab that baby and run into the bathroom, and you 444 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: lock yourself in the bathroom, and I'm wondering. You talk 445 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,199 Speaker 1: about how much your dad cared about you, and how 446 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 1: much your mom thought to hold onto your dad and 447 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: put up with a lot of ship from him, and 448 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: you watched all this and you talk about the love 449 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 1: you God and the support you got. But it sounds 450 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 1: like your family like much of my family. There's love 451 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,360 Speaker 1: and support and a lot of good things, but there's 452 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,080 Speaker 1: a lot of nuttiness going on as well. And do 453 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: you feel that that's what you needed to medicate yourself 454 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 1: against sex, drugs, alcohol, all these things? Can you put 455 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,359 Speaker 1: your finger on why were you doing those things? Was 456 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 1: it just boredom? No? I think a situation of early 457 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 1: on in my career. It was boredom like when I 458 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,880 Speaker 1: would come home, like when I would come home from 459 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: playing my season. Most of my friends were still in 460 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: school while I was working, so the boredom was there 461 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 1: while just riding around, you know, drinking in the car, 462 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,880 Speaker 1: trying to pick up women. Um, so you ran around 463 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,919 Speaker 1: with a bunch of your peers, people that were your age, 464 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: young people. Yes, it was when when you left the ballpark, 465 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: you went into a world to people that were just 466 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 1: hanging out, right, what I'm saying. When the season was over, 467 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: I would come back to Tampa and at that time, 468 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: like my friends I grew up with, there was either 469 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 1: working or someone's in school. The ones that wasn't working 470 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,719 Speaker 1: in school or just hanging on the street corners hanging out. 471 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: And you came down there with a pocket full of money, right, 472 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: so we'll hang out. Everything was on Dwight, Yes, everything definitely, 473 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,399 Speaker 1: So I will hang out with those guys. And so 474 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: that's where the boredom came from. Just riding around every day, 475 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 1: just drinking, killing tom or whatever. Not knowing that to 476 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 1: go eventually turned into a problem. So then like after 477 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: the season, I started doing drugs in New York for 478 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 1: the first time. It was more of the proper pressure. 479 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 1: It was more of the media pressure and me putting 480 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,640 Speaker 1: pressure on myself. For example, everything was compared to eighty five. 481 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: If I won a game three nothing complete game shout out. 482 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,679 Speaker 1: But if I only had, you know, five strikeouts, the 483 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,880 Speaker 1: first question to be, what happy you don't have five striks? 484 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: They're picking you apart. So that's when I started medicating myself. 485 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,920 Speaker 1: Then it became pre meditated, where every game I pitch, 486 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: I think the game I was gonna get high. I 487 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 1: was needing gonna get high to celebrate the win. Allston 488 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 1: get high because I didn't pitch that well, to forget 489 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: about the game, to put the loss behind you, right. 490 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: And then like as you mentioned earlier about me um 491 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: with my sister being shot. She got shot six times 492 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: and at one time she got shot in the head. 493 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: The butt is still actually in her head, which you 494 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,719 Speaker 1: have seizures from it. Like grabbed my nephew and went 495 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 1: in the bathroom. We got into a pull current thing, 496 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,679 Speaker 1: thinking he's gonna come in and get us next. The 497 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,199 Speaker 1: thing that was weird I didn't find out until basically 498 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: two thousand eleven was my last treatment. Every time I 499 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: would get high, I always go to the bathroom, whether 500 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 1: I was home by myself, whether it's a restaurant, whether 501 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 1: it's what I'm talking about, ghosts and these echoes that 502 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 1: we'll be put up with definitely. So I totally relate 503 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 1: to that. And I was going to bathroom and it 504 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,520 Speaker 1: was pointed to me that I never realized that I I 505 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 1: put it together. You know, for me, I remember when 506 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: I started to work oddly, when I was thinking about 507 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 1: your life and your book. It's similar because in terms 508 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: of acting, I was in Tide Water, I was in 509 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 1: the port St Lucy of acting. I did a daytime 510 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: TV show, was soap opera here in New York for 511 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: a couple of years, and I went to l A 512 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 1: and you could called up into the big leagues, so 513 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: to speak, and then you start to make big league money. 514 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: I mean, you and I have more in common than 515 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 1: I thought, because as I was reading the book, I 516 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 1: realized that then I got called up to do other 517 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,719 Speaker 1: things and I started to make more money. And you know, 518 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 1: when I was focused on that work, I mean the 519 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,439 Speaker 1: high that I I got high from the work, and 520 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,119 Speaker 1: when I would go home, there was this lull, you know, 521 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: I mean, like my adrenaline I was. I was. I 522 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,880 Speaker 1: was high all day from the energy of being a 523 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,879 Speaker 1: young working actor. I went from one studio to the 524 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 1: next audition for this movie. I get a part in 525 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:07,440 Speaker 1: night three to five, that period was my white hot 526 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: period because I'm in l A. My dad died. My 527 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 1: dad died of cancer. He was fifty five years old, 528 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,600 Speaker 1: April of nine, eight three, and I'm out there and 529 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,439 Speaker 1: I'm booked. Man, I'm i stein deals. I mean, I 530 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,879 Speaker 1: can't come back. I go to work, and when I 531 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 1: were left work, I felt this tremendous kind of depression, 532 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: like this kind of low, like I had to go 533 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 1: do something else to get high. Did you feel that way? 534 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 1: I had the same thing. My problem is trying to 535 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 1: feel that void like you're talking about. A lot of times, 536 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,159 Speaker 1: the downtime of being bored is a dangerous spot for 537 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,119 Speaker 1: me to be in because I've never had a hobby. 538 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,439 Speaker 1: When baseball steaveson be over. Now you come home to Tampa, 539 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: you know, it's not like in New York. You can 540 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 1: go to concerts, you go to plays, you can go 541 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: to movies and stuff to do with Tampa's total opously. 542 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 1: Just come down and there's nothing going on. So I 543 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 1: totally relate what you said. I would feel that time. 544 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 1: We weren't taking photography classes down to Tampa at the 545 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,199 Speaker 1: Tampa Institute of Photography. So you come home, you got 546 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: all this time, you got six months of um off season, 547 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 1: four months before you started training. I started hanging out 548 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: at clubs, doing more drugs and just basically trying to 549 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: fill that board and not knowing You're thinking this is fun, 550 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,119 Speaker 1: Looking my dad, it wasn't fun. It caused more trouble 551 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: than anything. Did money cause your trouble to money calls 552 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 1: me trouble too. I was saying, how much money did 553 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 1: you make your first I mean this is all a 554 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,399 Speaker 1: public record. How much money did you make your first 555 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,679 Speaker 1: season throwing in professional baseball? Not not the Triple A, 556 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 1: not not the farm. I first got drafting, you first 557 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: got drive first thing? For How long did that last? 558 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,360 Speaker 1: How many years? For a year and a half, because 559 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 1: then I was in the major's right then he went 560 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: to the majors. How much did they pay my rookie year? 561 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 1: I think the minimum at that time was sixty thousand, 562 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,359 Speaker 1: but my rookie year was out to also bring I 563 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: made more money off the field than I did my contrcy. 564 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: How much you money needed to make off the field 565 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: that year? I probably made about one point five and 566 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 1: then busted um the minimum that was in the sixty 567 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,679 Speaker 1: When did they we negotiate your contract with the Meths Well, 568 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 1: I didn't get a long term deal to at that point. 569 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: I got like, I think it was five point five 570 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 1: million for three years, and at that point it was 571 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 1: the highest paid player at that time for the first 572 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 1: decade of his career. Anyone driving along forty two Street 573 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 1: would be greeted by a towering, multi story mural of 574 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 1: Gooden painted on the side of a building by Nike. 575 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: He was young, arms outstretched mid pitch. Dwight Gooden was 576 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 1: in complete control. That was amazing. At that point, That's 577 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: when I knew the things I was doing was he 578 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 1: was working. I was working here because as a player, 579 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 1: a young player, you're going through that you're not aware 580 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 1: of the what you're really doing. I mean, you're aware 581 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,399 Speaker 1: that you're winning games and you're getting strike out, but 582 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,640 Speaker 1: you're not really aware the impact on the King and 583 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 1: the King. Did you feel like the King? Not really 584 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,440 Speaker 1: only time I fel like the King was the day 585 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 1: to that pitch that day, I just felt like that 586 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,119 Speaker 1: season was a good year. Yeah, that season was good year, 587 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 1: and you felt really strong that year, right, So even 588 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,480 Speaker 1: coming to the ballpark, he just felt like this is 589 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 1: my time because pulling into that. Why do you think 590 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,760 Speaker 1: you didn't do so well in eighty six? What happened? 591 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 1: Well eighty six I did. I won seventeen games and 592 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 1: eighty six, but it wasn't eighty five. R. J. Reynolds. 593 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: In a moment, Doc Gooden gets questionable advice from a 594 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 1: doctor and takes it. This is Alec Baldwin. Yeah, this 595 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: is Alec Baldwin, and you're listening to. Here's the thing. 596 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: Major League Baseball was hardly immune to the cultural excesses 597 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,120 Speaker 1: of the nineteen eighties and the eighties. Six Mets were 598 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 1: known as a hard partying team. Even so, Dwight Gooden 599 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 1: was able to set limits in a sense, I went 600 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,720 Speaker 1: from seven to ninety four, we're just drinking. Howard did that? 601 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: I have no idea without using I think part of 602 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 1: me will help me do that because I was being tested, right, 603 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 1: So talk about what it was like back in the 604 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,120 Speaker 1: test policy? How did that work? Test polity was once 605 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 1: you test polity something or if you get in trouble 606 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: some kind of with alcohol or drugs, and you did, 607 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: then you get into the just testing programs. How do 608 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: they know you were in trouble with drugs and alcohol? 609 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 1: Why I went to rehab and eight seven describe that 610 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 1: what happened obviously in eight six missing the parade and 611 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 1: I go to spring training. I'm doing coke, you know, 612 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,119 Speaker 1: not obviously doing the games. Put them doing coke. Like 613 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: I said, that night in spring training, you have to 614 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,360 Speaker 1: be the ballpark really early, so I did. I'm coming 615 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: in there. I'm sure it looked like I've been up, 616 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,760 Speaker 1: you know, all day, all night. So then they called 617 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: me in and say, you know, well these rooms going, 618 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,520 Speaker 1: let's put the rooms arrest. Can we test you? So 619 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: sure you can test me because I know I hadn't 620 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: did anything the night before, so obviously the tests come positive. 621 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 1: So they give my option. They say, you go to 622 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,360 Speaker 1: rehab and we'll continue paying your salary or because suspending 623 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,439 Speaker 1: without pay. So I was easy, so I said, I'll 624 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,400 Speaker 1: go to rehab so I can continue being paid, even 625 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 1: though still at that time I'm in treatment, but I'm 626 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: still thinking I don't have a problem. So I was 627 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: just marking days off the calendar to the third days 628 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,920 Speaker 1: was up. Get out of rehab. Now out, I'm bike 629 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 1: working out with the Monogue teams, and then we get 630 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,399 Speaker 1: on the plane to join the team. Right back to drinking. 631 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,679 Speaker 1: So from ninety four I didn't I didn't use the drugs, 632 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: but I was still drinking. So testing kind of scared you. 633 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,480 Speaker 1: Tested scared me, and plus it helped me for a 634 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 1: little bit of a period of time, but it's just 635 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: amount of time I was gonna go back because I 636 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,879 Speaker 1: was still drinking. And so when so when testing helped 637 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 1: to keep you in line, and then after ninety four, 638 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,480 Speaker 1: didn't write where were you that season? What happened was 639 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: ninety four the situation where like I said, it was 640 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: already premeditated that I was definitely used again given opportunity 641 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 1: SOT four, the first game of the season, I break 642 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 1: my toe, so I get put on the deal. So 643 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,479 Speaker 1: now I'm rehabbing, getting bike in shape. And so when 644 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: Dog's keeping a clearance to sort of planning, I go 645 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 1: down to the mono leagues just to get some in 646 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,560 Speaker 1: and in and build my own scrint up. And the 647 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: right away the disease tell me, hey, they're not testing 648 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,120 Speaker 1: you down here, I can get high while I'm down here, 649 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: I've relapsed. And now when I joined the team, and 650 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 1: since then there's the guy from me any Baseball waiting 651 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 1: to test me. He test me obviously it's positive. I 652 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,440 Speaker 1: gets suspended. Then I go to our Betty Ford for 653 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,399 Speaker 1: you know, thirty days. I get out of there. So 654 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 1: they wanted me to come back to New York. The 655 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: Major League Baseball doctors. Before I went to Tampa. All 656 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,399 Speaker 1: I had to hear was the one doctor says, why 657 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 1: don't you just drink? I don't do drugs. As soon 658 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: as they said that, I'm thinking, even though I know, 659 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 1: even though I know, I shouldn't have been two treatments 660 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 1: at that time, and I know I can't drink, so 661 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: I would say, Wow, maybe I could do it different 662 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: this time. Obviously, when I leave that meeting, now I'm 663 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 1: on the plane and fly home to Tampa to see 664 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: my family. I'm drinking the plane I got off to 665 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 1: that plane. I don't see my family for three days. 666 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 1: You pick up right where you left off. Definitely definitely 667 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 1: pick up right, which is what they say for me. 668 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 1: I when I got sober, when I stopped drinking and 669 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: I stopped taking drugs, which was many years ago when 670 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,360 Speaker 1: I was very young, it changed a lot of things 671 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 1: from me. I made. It really changed my attitude walk 672 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,040 Speaker 1: to what I do for a living. I began to 673 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: see the potential. And I don't want to say that 674 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 1: it made me over awhelmingly cynical. That may be true 675 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 1: right less, but it definitely made me more thoughtful and 676 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: it made me more aware of where there was the 677 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: unhealthiness and a lot of things we do relationships with people. 678 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 1: You know what what was a healthy relationship, What was 679 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 1: a healthy relationship with my family? And what was your 680 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: relationship like with your parents. Now that you're rich and 681 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: famous and honored and you have all these awards and 682 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: you're coming apart, my mom she didn't care about that fame. 683 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 1: And still they see she can come and see you 684 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 1: did just spend talking. She would come up like during 685 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 1: the season to see me, but she when't. She maybe 686 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 1: came to maybe two games. She came to one in Houston, 687 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 1: my very first start. She came to also a game 688 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 1: in and maybe two stories in New York. My mom 689 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 1: is a real Southern girl. She's from Georgia where they 690 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: grow their own vegetables and fruit and you know, working 691 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 1: the cotton field all that stuff. So baseball she enjoyed 692 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 1: it moreen I was a kid than professionally, because see, 693 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 1: like all the commotions would right, so from my dad, 694 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 1: he kind of treat him in the same at the 695 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 1: same time. I mean he was enjoying all the stuff 696 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 1: that was going on. I mean he liked that because 697 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: when I started playing baseball, initially it was his dream 698 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 1: and then it became my dream. And as I mentioned 699 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 1: a book where a lot of my parents like they 700 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: had me at a later time in the stage, like 701 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 1: I have five sibls, three brothers, and I'm the youngest 702 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: by thirteen years, so I came later on. So obviously 703 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 1: was a spot kid. My mom was very strict, you know, 704 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: very direct with stuff. When my dad kind of gave 705 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 1: me a pass with a lot of things as long 706 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 1: as I was playing baseball. Without naming names, obviously, would 707 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: you say that drug usage, I mean alcohol, it's uh, 708 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 1: that's always been the case throughout history. But would you 709 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 1: say the drug usage and particularly cocaine usage, Well, what 710 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: what was the cocaine and drug usage like among professional 711 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,400 Speaker 1: athletes during the fro from when you started to when 712 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,000 Speaker 1: you finally got sober in two thousand. Yeah, I think that. Um, 713 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: Obviously in the eighties it was it was available pretty 714 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,440 Speaker 1: much any time you wanted it, and a lot of 715 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: people you knew were doing it. There's a lot of 716 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,959 Speaker 1: people doing it, and unfortunately the eight six Mats got 717 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 1: labeled as a party team. At that time in early eighties, 718 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 1: old teams was party. But because we're successful and was 719 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 1: in New York, we got pointed out. Um a lot 720 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: of stuff they said was true. But other teams and 721 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: the police were doing the same thing. I think, who 722 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 1: was a person that didn't party, who was kind of 723 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 1: a straight arrow, who was the boy scout on the team, 724 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 1: who would come up with you with any and wag 725 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: their fingers in their face and say, shame on you. 726 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 1: Don't you do that with several guys that didn't drink 727 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: and didn't party, but they never like point of finger. 728 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: I thought this was better. So no one came to 729 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 1: you like a like a patriarchal figure and put his 730 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: hand in here and said, hey man, you gotta slow down. 731 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: No prime example, Gary Carter, great guy, I mean, obviously 732 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 1: it was a great problem. Even a better person off 733 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 1: the field. He never drink, he never hung out with 734 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: was anything that like. He would go out to eat 735 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 1: with us. But once we were saying we'll go out 736 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: on the strip, and he said, okay, if you guys 737 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 1: need me or whatever. I'm in my room. But they 738 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 1: day it would come in with the red eyes, you know, 739 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 1: you hung over. He never judged you. He just said, 740 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 1: you know you're okay, everything's good. You had a good time. Good, okay, 741 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 1: let's get back to work. And that was it. Yeah, 742 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 1: but nobody came to you and said and tried to intervene. 743 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: I think one time, obviously, when a rumor started in 744 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,960 Speaker 1: coaches are management, But do you felt cared it wasn't 745 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 1: about you. The one time that happened with me was 746 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 1: six when a rumor started flying around that I was 747 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,000 Speaker 1: parting and whatever. Actually, very night he came up to 748 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 1: him and said, doctor, you know, I'm hearing a lot 749 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 1: of stuff that's going on, the rumors about They said, 750 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 1: it's a black player on the team that's out, you know, 751 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: doing drugs, hanging out. And again I denied to him 752 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,960 Speaker 1: and said, no, that's not me. He said, okay, I'll 753 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 1: take your word to that. Sports is dominated on every level, 754 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 1: from Major League Baseball and basketball. Obviously in football, every 755 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:49,000 Speaker 1: great sport and team sport, and many individual sports are 756 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 1: dominated by African American players. But did you finally when 757 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 1: you got into the world of major League ball was 758 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 1: Racism ever a quality you had to deal with every 759 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: be just a little bit my first year. Um, Like, 760 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 1: I grew up in the neighborhood in Tampa where it's 761 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 1: like a lot of Hispanics and a lot of whites 762 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 1: web so I grew up accustomed to that. So I 763 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 1: remember getting you to grew up accustomed to what everybody 764 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,560 Speaker 1: kept to themselves. No, just the different cultures living there 765 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 1: in the same neighborhood. So I was ware of that 766 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: even at school, you know, school activities. That's just the 767 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,040 Speaker 1: way it was, Like I just heard my mom and 768 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,240 Speaker 1: my dad tells stories. Obviously I was aware of the 769 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: Jackie Robinson story, but I never witnessed that, so I 770 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: couldn't relate until I drafted. I go to Keen Sports, Tennessee, 771 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 1: so I'm there. I remember walking through the mall and 772 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 1: it was me. This guy, FLORYD. Yoman's was another black player. 773 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: I grew up what was on the team, And you 774 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,800 Speaker 1: can hear people kind of looking at us there, and 775 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 1: I remember this one guy was working at his vendor 776 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 1: says it must be baseball season. So I know what 777 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,280 Speaker 1: you meant, because it's not really that many blacks and Kingsport, 778 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: and all other time was that I would go to 779 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,720 Speaker 1: Johnson City. It's an applican lye before the game was 780 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 1: taking bad in practice or whatever. And I'm warming up 781 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,480 Speaker 1: on the side and you can hit these guys over there. 782 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 1: I remember, like it was today, he goes watched that 783 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 1: in chunked that watermoute. So I'm throwing so now while 784 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: not throw them hanging out in outfield shagging balls. They're 785 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 1: yelling all kinds of stuff at me and these other guys. 786 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: And I remember this guy, Leon Williams was the center field. 787 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,719 Speaker 1: He goes doctor. They said one more word, We're going 788 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: up there to get him. I said, no, no, you 789 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 1: go up there, and I'm not going out there. But 790 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,400 Speaker 1: that was a really only time I experienced anything like that. Um, 791 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,400 Speaker 1: when you came to New York, none of them, I 792 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 1: never got none of your years in Pro Bowl. No, no, no, 793 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,440 Speaker 1: I've never had any of that. Everybody wasn't equal. Everybody 794 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,280 Speaker 1: was equal. Yes, everybody's was great, and even among the players, 795 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,200 Speaker 1: everybody was a brother in arms. I never had that 796 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,680 Speaker 1: problems up here. Um, in my life, I've always accorded 797 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,840 Speaker 1: a certain kind of respect and a kind of glory 798 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,680 Speaker 1: too pro athletes that I don't give to people in 799 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,120 Speaker 1: my business, you know. I mean, like, if you said 800 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,600 Speaker 1: to me, who's an actor you'd love to meet, I'd say, 801 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 1: we're Humphrey Bogart, I'd love to meet. I want to 802 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:59,880 Speaker 1: meet William Holden. But to me, um athletes have always been, 803 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 1: you know, just magnetic to me. We used to play 804 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,280 Speaker 1: a game. We'd say, if you could be any athlete, 805 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 1: if you could play any pro position and you were 806 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:13,640 Speaker 1: guaranteed ten years healthy, you wouldn't get a debilitating injury. 807 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,719 Speaker 1: You'd be healthy for tenders, you get the crappy daddy, 808 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,560 Speaker 1: but you never you have to work hard. But if 809 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:22,120 Speaker 1: you could have any ten years in any individual sport 810 00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,959 Speaker 1: or team sport, in any position, what would you take? 811 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 1: And if you couldn't play baseball? And I hate this 812 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,200 Speaker 1: question question, but if you couldn't play baseball, what would 813 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:34,160 Speaker 1: you be? What sport would you dominate? For it dominate? 814 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll dominate, but I as if 815 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,120 Speaker 1: football is micro sport, like even though I played baseball obviously, 816 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 1: but definitely on Sunday's you know, I go to church 817 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 1: to you know hit, I mean, and then I'm in 818 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: my basement in the restaurantnight, just the way it is. 819 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,239 Speaker 1: Who's your team Giants, big giant fans. I would say, 820 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 1: I would like to be on the defensive fan of safety, 821 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 1: you would. The thing is I played quarterback wall was 822 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 1: very young. You did. But I don't like contact and 823 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:58,880 Speaker 1: I was a real thing kids, So I don't like contact. 824 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,120 Speaker 1: I like to hit guy on defense where you just 825 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 1: worry about you getting interception and running. And I was 826 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: definitely saying when they hit people not be hit exactly. Well, well, 827 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 1: that's like pitching you on the defensive side. You don't 828 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 1: have to worry about hind part, especially right right man. 829 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 1: See Mi guel would have been Lawrence Teller on the field. 830 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 1: And the reason I said, because I've never seen a 831 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 1: defensive guy. You just changed the game, just changed the 832 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,160 Speaker 1: entire game. And you can see the fear in the 833 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 1: quarterback guys. And he's talking smashed to him, Like watch 834 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,480 Speaker 1: some of the highlights and the sounds of the game 835 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,880 Speaker 1: watching him. Are you just talking smack to the quarterbacks 836 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 1: and then doing it? So I just love to know 837 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,879 Speaker 1: get that field at one time on a defensive side, 838 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 1: and like Lawrence Tanner's had just totally dominate. Um, what 839 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: do you say to your kids? Your kids are high old? 840 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: My kids are from three to twenty seven, So you 841 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: have kids that knew how your top three oldest or 842 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 1: how old? Twenty seven seven one? And I have an 843 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,279 Speaker 1: eighteen and sixteen right, so from sixteen and above. Let's 844 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,839 Speaker 1: say at that age, when they might be sticking their 845 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,759 Speaker 1: hand in a cooler down there in time water. Uh, 846 00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,680 Speaker 1: what do you say to them when they because they 847 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,480 Speaker 1: know all about you, what's in the book. They all 848 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,399 Speaker 1: about me with the book. And even before the book 849 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,719 Speaker 1: came out, I would talk to my kids, UM, when 850 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 1: you drink whatever, I said, look, use me as an example. UM, 851 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,760 Speaker 1: like older kids. When I got to the point felt comfortable, 852 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 1: I had to talk with them, I said, basically to 853 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: tell you how powerful drugs are called? Is I basically 854 00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:20,200 Speaker 1: divorced you guys and your mother for drugs? I said, 855 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 1: So just picture that. I said, you guys know how 856 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,279 Speaker 1: I felt when I wasn't around right and when I 857 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 1: wasn't at your school activities, when I wanted to game, 858 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 1: or if I was there, I really miss a miss 859 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,279 Speaker 1: a lot of that. And I say, just think what 860 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,320 Speaker 1: that did to me. And I said, you guys know 861 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,160 Speaker 1: my heart. You guys know the type of person, as 862 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 1: I said, but once you get involved with that, you're 863 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:39,880 Speaker 1: not the same. And not only did you hurt yourself, 864 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,840 Speaker 1: but you hurt your loved ones like they forgive you 865 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,520 Speaker 1: like you guys, Yes, that was one of the things 866 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 1: they forgave me. All they wanted me to be is 867 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,960 Speaker 1: healthy and be accountable to them. I don't make any 868 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,640 Speaker 1: promises to them, obviously, but I'm always there. I talked 869 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,759 Speaker 1: to him daily now and mostly Where where do they live? 870 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,840 Speaker 1: They spread out all over? Yeah, my daughter, you know, 871 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,359 Speaker 1: lives up here with me and my two little ones, 872 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,719 Speaker 1: having three and eight. There's women the rest are you 873 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,439 Speaker 1: man right now? Yes? What does your wife do? She's 874 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:06,000 Speaker 1: a school teacher. Where does she teach math? Last in 875 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,880 Speaker 1: a school? Yeah? So mostly in Jersey? In Jersey and 876 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,400 Speaker 1: then like now this summer she's doing something in Maryland. 877 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 1: Where did you meet her? I usually met her. The 878 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 1: first time I met her was in Detroit and we 879 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,440 Speaker 1: met through a meet friend. She was a flight attendant 880 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,120 Speaker 1: and a guy grow with with the flight attendant. What 881 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 1: is it with you PROBA athletes and flight attendants? Man? 882 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 1: Just physically she's a flight attendant. She was a flight 883 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,080 Speaker 1: attendant and Richard friend been married. I've been married for 884 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:31,960 Speaker 1: four years? And what and how many kids you have 885 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,879 Speaker 1: with her too? What are you doing with yourself? Now? 886 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,360 Speaker 1: What I do? I know what you're doing during the 887 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 1: NFL season. You got a church, you get a meeting, 888 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,279 Speaker 1: Your down in the basement on the big jumbo screen 889 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,319 Speaker 1: watching TV all day? Me with me both? That's it now? 890 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:45,920 Speaker 1: I UM. I see my eight year old son and 891 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,359 Speaker 1: he plays baseball and football. Where he in Inglewood clips 892 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,000 Speaker 1: he's here, So I um. When I have the opportunity 893 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:53,719 Speaker 1: to help to coach this team, I do work with 894 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,839 Speaker 1: the mess sand Yankees. Um. I couldn't do that when 895 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,359 Speaker 1: Mrs Simro was living. It was only Yankee or nothing. 896 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,080 Speaker 1: So now, unfortunately, pass I get to work a little 897 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,120 Speaker 1: bit with both teams. Do that, do a lot of 898 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,840 Speaker 1: stuff with the youth program in my true passions, anything 899 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,640 Speaker 1: with kids? Right? Do you ever throw a baseball anymore? 900 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,320 Speaker 1: Very little? I can't believe you said that, because I 901 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,000 Speaker 1: went to a golf tournament the other day and Doug 902 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 1: Flutie was there, and I'm a huge Flutie fan. I said, 903 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 1: do you ever throw a football anyway? Says, no, they 904 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,439 Speaker 1: don't do it. He never throws a football, And I said, 905 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,840 Speaker 1: you gotta be kidding me. Musr throwing a football. You 906 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:25,160 Speaker 1: must have thrown a million football show his rally show 907 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:29,239 Speaker 1: with Tim Wakefield learning how to throw a knuckleball. That 908 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,799 Speaker 1: you never throw a baseball anymore. I thought a little 909 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,160 Speaker 1: bit with my kids. But nothing off the mount, nothing 910 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,080 Speaker 1: like that. Nothing. No throwing out a ball in the 911 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,879 Speaker 1: first you've done the first ball done that. That's fun 912 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,759 Speaker 1: and um ilely. About two weeks ago I played in 913 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 1: a Dodgers Yankee O talban. This game at Dodger Stadium 914 00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,279 Speaker 1: was pretty cool. If the if the Doc Gooding you 915 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,920 Speaker 1: are now, or I should say the Dwight Gooden you 916 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,800 Speaker 1: are now, I could go back and talk to the 917 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 1: Doc goodnn What would you say to him? Maybe I 918 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:58,360 Speaker 1: would say, be honest with yourself, remove that mass you 919 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,480 Speaker 1: don't speak in mind, and put yourself often a good 920 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,520 Speaker 1: position instead of pleasing others, even though it's danger for 921 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,319 Speaker 1: myself and you felt you did a lot of people 922 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 1: pleasing that a lot of people pleasing. I still struggle 923 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,440 Speaker 1: with that today, not as bad as I was, but 924 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: it's still room for improvement. Why I think it just 925 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,160 Speaker 1: started when I was a kid, and part of me 926 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,040 Speaker 1: is surviving that household, surviving household and none of that. 927 00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,160 Speaker 1: I have a genuine heart, But I also I gotta understand, 928 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,880 Speaker 1: you gotta draw the line somewhere. You can't put yourself 929 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,520 Speaker 1: in danger a way. Your dad died when he passed. 930 00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:32,200 Speaker 1: Where were you when you're done? Actually? Um, I was 931 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 1: in Tampa when it happened. Um, Actually the last game, 932 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 1: my dad told me pitch wasn't no hitter, and I 933 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,560 Speaker 1: talked about that in the book where he had He 934 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 1: had been struggling for a while with his kid in 935 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 1: the failures on Dallass for like fifteen years. His health 936 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,600 Speaker 1: was deteriorating and they felt he had to have emergency 937 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,120 Speaker 1: heart surgery. They felt if he didn't have the surgery, 938 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,320 Speaker 1: he probably wouldt last on a month or two. And 939 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,239 Speaker 1: even if he had the surgery, can guarantee he's gonna 940 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:56,960 Speaker 1: last a month or two. But he definitely had a 941 00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,360 Speaker 1: surgery the day that pitched on hit. I was supposed 942 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:00,680 Speaker 1: to fly home in the build him that day because 943 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,000 Speaker 1: having a surgery next morning. I had my flight reservation everything. 944 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,600 Speaker 1: But uh, when I woke up that morning, you know, 945 00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,480 Speaker 1: I remember taking a shower and brash my teeth, and 946 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 1: I just started reminiscent of all the days we spent 947 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,920 Speaker 1: at the park. Him teaching me to drills, made him 948 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,319 Speaker 1: going through the spring training games, made him watching games 949 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,319 Speaker 1: on TV. From him, I learned from him, like how 950 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,960 Speaker 1: to pitch, basically knew everything I learned about baseballs from him. Um, 951 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,359 Speaker 1: And would you learn from him as a father? As 952 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,799 Speaker 1: a father is putting family first? Understanding you believe he did? Yes, 953 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 1: definitely understanding in his way, in his way, yeah, I 954 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,080 Speaker 1: mean he might have it, didn't live it, but just 955 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,799 Speaker 1: telling me, you know, family comes first, family values, set 956 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 1: a good example for your kids as well. So that 957 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 1: day I felt he will. Probably in some ways he 958 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,520 Speaker 1: didn't set a good example for you. Well with the 959 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 1: woman I was in or whatever. That's what I wonder 960 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,879 Speaker 1: if sometimes that's part of what happened. Was you trying 961 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 1: to make peace with those two, because that's where I 962 00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,560 Speaker 1: came to in my life. Once I got sober and 963 00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,080 Speaker 1: I showed up to examined what was bothering me. What 964 00:41:56,239 --> 00:42:01,399 Speaker 1: I began to realize was I did my parents were people? Yeah? 965 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 1: Did you find that that was a part of what 966 00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:07,400 Speaker 1: aid at you know, the contradictions inside your dad with 967 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,359 Speaker 1: with him, No, I would say not at all. Um, 968 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:10,800 Speaker 1: he was there like a lot of things that he 969 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,800 Speaker 1: was doing. I thought you became a womanizer. Yeah, I 970 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,759 Speaker 1: became a woman and the thing my dad's were doing 971 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,040 Speaker 1: with the drinking whatever, like I never actually saw him 972 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,960 Speaker 1: with the one whatever, so he kept it all the 973 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,520 Speaker 1: way from my parents never are going find me. So 974 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 1: I just thought it was you know, everything was great. 975 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,799 Speaker 1: So you're saying that song Daddy's got a girlfriend, right, 976 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:32,800 Speaker 1: You outed your would get water or something. You actually 977 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 1: you accidentally threw. That's a violent thing you described in 978 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,440 Speaker 1: the book. That's really really cool. Well, I just want 979 00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:42,080 Speaker 1: to say that, Um, I really am very grateful to 980 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,920 Speaker 1: you that you wrote that book. I mean, I really 981 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,680 Speaker 1: really commend you for writing that book. You appreciate you. 982 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,200 Speaker 1: You did the doctor Drew thing. What year that was 983 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,400 Speaker 1: two thousand eleven, So you went back because you went 984 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,880 Speaker 1: out again, Yes, and you went out when you were 985 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,440 Speaker 1: sober from when to win from the last time from 986 00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,960 Speaker 1: two thousand and ten. I was very acting my addiction 987 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:01,560 Speaker 1: what I was going through this, But you were sober 988 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,839 Speaker 1: two thousand two till win two thousand UM to two 989 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:08,120 Speaker 1: thousand three, and then I went back out there and 990 00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,360 Speaker 1: I was basically and then in and out of my 991 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:14,520 Speaker 1: addiction until so you eate and out for eight more 992 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:18,400 Speaker 1: years and you got busted. Uh two thou, Yes, you 993 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,520 Speaker 1: do something, you get busted. Where what what happened was 994 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,799 Speaker 1: in Franklin Lakes and New Jersey. I had got charged 995 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,759 Speaker 1: with child endangerment where I took ambien the night before, 996 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: woke up to take my son to school, obviously hit 997 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,360 Speaker 1: a car and they wanted to get me out and 998 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,719 Speaker 1: do the fhild sobriety tests, which as we're talking to me, 999 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:39,920 Speaker 1: I'm building off and Mr taken a couple of ambien. Yes, 1000 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,680 Speaker 1: it sounds to get well, the one ambient right. So 1001 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,840 Speaker 1: then you get charged child endangerment because you were in 1002 00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,480 Speaker 1: a vehicle with a child. Yes, How old was the 1003 00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:50,759 Speaker 1: child my son at that time that was two thousand ten, 1004 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,239 Speaker 1: you know he would have been five. You were married 1005 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,680 Speaker 1: to your wife then, yes, newly married almost yes? And 1006 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,120 Speaker 1: what happened? Did you go to prison? Did jail? Rather? No? 1007 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,960 Speaker 1: After time? No time, got probation and I went that's 1008 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:03,480 Speaker 1: why I went to the doctor Drew show what what 1009 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,480 Speaker 1: what What did you think was unique about that? What 1010 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,160 Speaker 1: helped you about that? Going to the doctor's room, I 1011 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,360 Speaker 1: can help you definitely helped me. But I think the 1012 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,520 Speaker 1: thing was I was ready to get help the times 1013 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 1: before with the treatment. I was just basically there during 1014 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,200 Speaker 1: my time. As you know, in treatment, what you put 1015 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,239 Speaker 1: in is what you get out. I was just ready. 1016 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:20,719 Speaker 1: It was the time of my life where I knew 1017 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,799 Speaker 1: I had been a you know, rehabs. I've been the institutions. 1018 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,879 Speaker 1: I've been a jail. I've been a prison. The only 1019 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,680 Speaker 1: thing waiting with the cemetery. When did you go to prison? 1020 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,600 Speaker 1: I went. The prison was six four for technical ablation 1021 00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:33,319 Speaker 1: for it was a relapse. How long were you in there? 1022 00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:37,560 Speaker 1: Ten a half months? What was that like? Horrible hole 1023 00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,200 Speaker 1: in Gainesville, Florida. That was horrible any time you get 1024 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,279 Speaker 1: locked up and crossder Well facility. You were in a 1025 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,960 Speaker 1: state prison, but going there at the age forty is horrible. 1026 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 1: State prison. Yes, you were in a state prison in Gainesville, 1027 00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 1: Florida for ten months, and they all knew who you 1028 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 1: were and did all like the biggest time I've been 1029 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,320 Speaker 1: making a joke here, but like the biggest toughest guys 1030 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:00,520 Speaker 1: in the prison who could probably beat the crap and 1031 00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:01,879 Speaker 1: even come up and tell you that they would protect 1032 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,120 Speaker 1: you if you taught them the secret and how to 1033 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,000 Speaker 1: throw the fastball. I didn't get into that. Did you 1034 00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:06,480 Speaker 1: take a ball? Like show them how the thing is 1035 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 1: going with the laces? They leave you alone. Listen, Ray, 1036 00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna show this to you one time and then 1037 00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 1: that's it. I want you to promise if you're gonna 1038 00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:17,640 Speaker 1: leave out and there you found out the first thing 1039 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:19,399 Speaker 1: you're there, You're just a number. You're not even a name. 1040 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,840 Speaker 1: It's horrible. Yes, who did you become friends with it? 1041 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:24,919 Speaker 1: Did you any what kind of time? There's a couple 1042 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,360 Speaker 1: of guys that I knew from as kids that I 1043 00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,239 Speaker 1: hadn't seen since childhood and found him in air because 1044 00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:33,000 Speaker 1: they've been in and out the whole life. So but 1045 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:34,520 Speaker 1: that it helped the time go by fast. It was 1046 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,160 Speaker 1: just a horrible, horrible time Harbor experience. When you got 1047 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,400 Speaker 1: out of there, how did you feel it was different? 1048 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,239 Speaker 1: And I totally agree, Um, guy, I was telling me 1049 00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,960 Speaker 1: when guys getting cross ready and you're there for basically 1050 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,560 Speaker 1: ten months or longer, it takes that same amount of 1051 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,520 Speaker 1: time when you get out to get back to your yourself. 1052 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:51,680 Speaker 1: And I found that once I got out, I was 1053 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:53,680 Speaker 1: still living like I was a prisoner. I wouldn't go anywhere. 1054 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,320 Speaker 1: I was just stay in the house and I was 1055 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,600 Speaker 1: just basically doing time on the streets. So it was 1056 00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,920 Speaker 1: a horrible harbor time too, I can get comfortable. How 1057 00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,800 Speaker 1: to I had all started going to the meetings after that, 1058 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 1: UM got a sponsor, this guy Ron Do Now when 1059 00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,319 Speaker 1: you first went to meetings after that? No, I went 1060 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,120 Speaker 1: to meetings before, but I just got totally back into 1061 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,080 Speaker 1: the program. The program saved you. Yeah, they got me 1062 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,440 Speaker 1: going and got me, you know, feeling good about myself again. 1063 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,239 Speaker 1: So two thousand eleven, you uh Franklin Lakes the car thing? 1064 00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:23,400 Speaker 1: Am being the child child endangerment? You don't do any time? No, 1065 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,239 Speaker 1: And I had five months probation and basically had to 1066 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,399 Speaker 1: go to treatment. Went to I would like to Drew, 1067 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 1: I was there for three weeks. When I got out, 1068 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,920 Speaker 1: I went to treatment. Did he strike you? How did 1069 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,640 Speaker 1: he help you? He was a nice guy. When I 1070 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,640 Speaker 1: got out, I went to uh maw Jersey for a 1071 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:39,160 Speaker 1: year outpatient and that's what that's what keeping me going right. 1072 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,920 Speaker 1: How was your wife? She cool about it. No, okay, no, no, 1073 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,759 Speaker 1: that was sounds tough time. Yeah, that was tough. Yeah, 1074 00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,160 Speaker 1: that's a story for another day. But it was okay. 1075 00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,160 Speaker 1: It's a tough thing though, you know. That's very tough. 1076 00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:52,960 Speaker 1: That's that's the thing I'll tell my kids. It's tough 1077 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,520 Speaker 1: not only on you, but it's tough on you all 1078 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,680 Speaker 1: your loved ones. Yeah, you put everybody else through it, Yes, definitely. 1079 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,680 Speaker 1: I got people in my family, man, It's like they 1080 00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:01,920 Speaker 1: got a lot of records in their past thinking a lot, 1081 00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,680 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff is on their times. You can't 1082 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,160 Speaker 1: have them forgive you on your time because we're doing 1083 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,520 Speaker 1: like right now. So they have to work through their 1084 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:13,000 Speaker 1: things and get to a point where they accept what happened. 1085 00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,239 Speaker 1: We can't force him. That's the thing that I found out. 1086 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,560 Speaker 1: You can learn more about Dwight Gooden's life in his 1087 00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:31,840 Speaker 1: recently released autobiography doc a memoir. This is Alec Baldwin 1088 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,920 Speaker 1: and you're listening to here's the thing