Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, Yeah, how do you feel? Wait? You think
Speaker 1: I'm talking about coming out? Right? Yeah? You just text
Speaker 1: meant to make sure I feel really good? Okay, great.
Speaker 1: I feel like now I can start figuring out who
Speaker 1: I am. You know what I mean, because now I've
Speaker 1: said the words I'm okay. So now it's just like
Speaker 1: like keep building because when you come out of the closet,
Speaker 1: that's actually just the beginning. Because now I feel like
Speaker 1: I have to I have to come out even further
Speaker 1: about you know, who I really am, and I think
Speaker 1: it's going to be really interesting and I'm excited about
Speaker 1: my life. You know what The next thing you should
Speaker 1: do is listen to music that will kind of familiarize
Speaker 1: yourself with this time this time, because you know, guys,
Speaker 1: I did it. Oh my god, will what you came outulations? Whatever?
Speaker 1: It is? Nod? What is that the closet? As in
Speaker 1: the closet like this is not sexuality? Oh no, no, no no, okay,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? What did you did it? You
Speaker 1: didn't offer Kevin Spacey a contract, did you. I got
Speaker 1: a haircut. Oh it looks good for you. I thought
Speaker 1: you did something crazy. No, I just finally got a haircut.
Speaker 1: Have you been in contact with Kevin Okay, the lack
Speaker 1: of response damning I have, but it's Kevin James. Okay,
Speaker 1: Now we're now we're cooking with Queen Queens, a young talent. Hey,
Speaker 1: cheers to thatchers sugar sugar. Okay, let's just hold on,
Speaker 1: let me put him in the blender together. Absolutely well,
Speaker 1: we gotta we gotta get this meeting started. We should
Speaker 1: get started soon. But we got it to a good thing. Ye.
Speaker 1: So um anyway, congratulations came out of the closet. Congratulations. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a big, big, big, big week, big night our
Speaker 1: latest comedian entertainer, yes, writer, performer. Uh, triple quadruple quintuple threat.
Speaker 1: Holy should you keep counting anymore? Jesus is a proud alumni, alumni,
Speaker 1: alum alumnus, all of them, of the University of Chicago, right,
Speaker 1: smarty pants, right down. I guess what he graduated with?
Speaker 1: A four point now possibly a biology degree that he
Speaker 1: is not using at all. Yeah, I bety uses it
Speaker 1: every now and then. I bet it uses this biology
Speaker 1: in the bad room. Hey, listen, did you know that
Speaker 1: Bowen Yang was a chemistry major? We don't have to
Speaker 1: get into really, Yeah, he was at University of Chicago,
Speaker 1: now at a worst school called n y U. Okay,
Speaker 1: it wasn't. It was especially for chemistry, honey, honey. Anyone
Speaker 1: can get into that program. Truly, this is this is real.
Speaker 1: I got, I got. I got a Bachelor of Arts
Speaker 1: in chemistry, not science arts arts, because chemistry, as we
Speaker 1: all know, is an art, is an art. I have
Speaker 1: a Bachelor of Fine Arts in I have a b
Speaker 1: f a fat ass and dramatic writing from New York University. Okay,
Speaker 1: tish school of the you've heard of it, I have
Speaker 1: I have. Okay, Well, where did you go to school?
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say, I know, I went to
Speaker 1: the School of Hard Knocks, right right, That's what I
Speaker 1: was going to say. USC great sports information degree, thank you? Really?
Speaker 1: Uh huh, that's cool. They canceled the major. Okay, you
Speaker 1: burned it down. Huh down. They said it was way
Speaker 1: too difficult, so they can't sports information sports information that
Speaker 1: sounds that sounds really? Was that like how many yards
Speaker 1: in a football field? Good? My dad was a football
Speaker 1: coach my entire life. I didn't know that you need
Speaker 1: to be a sports information major. Don't make you. Don't
Speaker 1: tell me what I needed to the tishe School of
Speaker 1: Sports Information? Is that your Finally they just asked you
Speaker 1: that one question? That was it? That's amazing in front
Speaker 1: of a panel of a thousand people staring at you. God,
Speaker 1: it's like slum Dog Millionaire. Was Steaks So High? Question? Well,
Speaker 1: so tell us about this podcast. This podcast is called
Speaker 1: Steaks So High? No wrong page, that's for later. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm seeing it was hosted by Kevin James. Kevin James.
Speaker 1: It's where he uh, it's where he tries to reach ribbies.
Speaker 1: He put on top of a high shelf. It's hilarious.
Speaker 1: Leah remedies in it and hopefully doesn't pull a back muscle. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well then Leah Remandy's in the corner lotioning her hands,
Speaker 1: being like I told you so, and her name is
Speaker 1: Ashley Steaks and she's stoned out of her mind stas
Speaker 1: so high? Wait, why do I want to see this?
Speaker 1: Tuesday eight on TVs I Live. I'd watch too. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean is that I'm just no, I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing this person. I'm doing this person a disservice
Speaker 1: and I need to just let you know who it is.
Speaker 1: It's Steve Hahn. Steve Han one of like one of
Speaker 1: the Greatest, one of the Greatest Chicago by a Leogy degree.
Speaker 1: He's a recipient of the NBC Universal Second City Bob
Speaker 1: Curry Fellowship, Okay, cast member and writer of Urban Twist,
Speaker 1: Public Empathy Number One, Public Empathy, I Love, I Love.
Speaker 1: He's also performed sketch and stand up at venues like
Speaker 1: The Steppin Wolf. It is called it is. It is
Speaker 1: always referred to as the step In Wolf or just
Speaker 1: step in Wolf. I think steppin Wolf. Maybe the article
Speaker 1: is optional. I want to read you what Steve's endeavor
Speaker 1: is all about. The super delusionally confident Yoko Homo, part
Speaker 1: of the part of the Quick community, attempts to educate
Speaker 1: listeners and interview scholarly guests with his one Achilles heel
Speaker 1: his relationship with his dad and step mom Sharon, who
Speaker 1: find out more on Are you there, Dad, It's me
Speaker 1: Yoko Okay. Interesting some Judy Bloom. I think that we're
Speaker 1: getting a young town. It's coming of age, coming of
Speaker 1: age with a story, with a story, a queer story.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry not from Los Angeles, He's not, but I
Speaker 1: think that's fine. Mm hmm. Let's see it's good for
Speaker 1: us to have some Midwest in here. Yeah. Especially you know, well,
Speaker 1: this is just the truth. Gay people are everywhere and
Speaker 1: we need to start saying it. This is so are
Speaker 1: you there, Dad? It's me Hello, this is are you there? Dad?
Speaker 1: It's me Yoko. My name is Yoko Homo and I
Speaker 1: will be your host. I am a three time Grammy
Speaker 1: Award party crasher. I'm runner up on the first and
Speaker 1: only season of NBC's America's Biggest Show Off. And I
Speaker 1: have a b a. In Costume Technology from Pranceton University
Speaker 1: and Prance in Arizona. So recently, I was in my
Speaker 1: dad's new fancy home for my stepsister's eighth grade graduation
Speaker 1: party when I got a call from my alma mother
Speaker 1: saying that the whole school fell into the Grand Canyon
Speaker 1: and as such, the school and my degree lost its accreditation. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then my stepmom, Sharon told me that I was
Speaker 1: an idiot who would never amount to anything. And you
Speaker 1: know what, Now I have a podcast and only smart
Speaker 1: people have podcast. So who's the dummy who bubbled their
Speaker 1: name incorrectly and subsequently got the world's first and so
Speaker 1: far only negative say t score Sharon, and to prove
Speaker 1: Sharon even more wrong, I thought I'd start an educational
Speaker 1: podcast to show her and more importantly, my dad, how
Speaker 1: smart I actually am. And Dad, if you're listening, please
Speaker 1: don't forget to pick me up today after I finished recording,
Speaker 1: like you did last time when you and Sharon went
Speaker 1: to that David Busters and I just the night here,
Speaker 1: please pick me up. So join each week to hear
Speaker 1: me interview experts and fields ranging from architecture to zoology,
Speaker 1: to hear me help them learn a thing or two
Speaker 1: about their field. And hey, who knows, maybe I'm going
Speaker 1: to learn a thing or two myself, which seems highly
Speaker 1: unlikely because I got an E n f J on
Speaker 1: my recent i Q test, So I'm pretty smart. Um.
Speaker 1: But this is are you there, Dad, it's me Yoko.
Speaker 1: So in this first segment, because this is an educational podcast,
Speaker 1: I'm going to start off each podcast by educating the
Speaker 1: listeners on an event in history and talk about how
Speaker 1: I would have handled it differently in a segment called
Speaker 1: they should Have Known. In this first they should have Known,
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about POMPEII. Okay, so for those
Speaker 1: of you who don't know what POMPEII is because you're dumb.
Speaker 1: I'm here to help. It's a city in Old Italy
Speaker 1: that had this big volcano and basically like everyone died,
Speaker 1: like the lava and the volcano. Guests like it, like, um,
Speaker 1: what's the word suffocated? It suffocated everyone and then they
Speaker 1: just went like they died. So how have I handled it?
Speaker 1: I was just seeing the volcano erupting, and I would
Speaker 1: have gotten into my Honda c RV and I would
Speaker 1: have driven off, like It's like, come on, people, Like
Speaker 1: people don't do anything unless they see someone else do.
Speaker 1: It's like how my dad when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: he wouldn't show up to my soccer games until he
Speaker 1: saw all the other dad's doing it. And then his
Speaker 1: favorite thing became going to anyone's soccer game but mine,
Speaker 1: which is fine, Like I'm totally fine. That's cool. Anyway.
Speaker 1: This is not to say this is my advice for
Speaker 1: this episode. If you see a volcano, drive away in
Speaker 1: your Honda c RV. So in this next segment called
Speaker 1: you should Have Known, I bring it experts in their
Speaker 1: field to talk about their studies and their work. Again,
Speaker 1: because this is an educational podcast and speaking of Pompey
Speaker 1: and old stuff. This week's guest is esteemed Department head
Speaker 1: of Archaeology from Vanderbilt University, Professor to be treat White.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you on board, Professor. It
Speaker 1: is an honor to be here with you, Yoko. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for reaching out. Yes, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for responding. Um, I really appreciate it. And my
Speaker 1: producers UM said that Instagram was an appropriate way to
Speaker 1: reach out. So I'm sorry about some of those messages.
Speaker 1: As I said, It's okay, I mixed up who I
Speaker 1: send things to all the time, and I will not
Speaker 1: share those pictures with anyone. Thank you so much. I
Speaker 1: appreciate that because I did see that you screenshot at
Speaker 1: them because Instagram tells you that, but you can have
Speaker 1: those for yourself. I just show that I'm keeping them
Speaker 1: safe for you. Wow. And that's crazy because you're an archaeologist,
Speaker 1: so you do things like that all the time. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was kind of a digital dig. Wow. Okay, So, Professor,
Speaker 1: I'm just so interested in archaeology, you know, like especially
Speaker 1: and so you're you're a professor of the archaeology of
Speaker 1: the America's right, correct, Yes, like Atlantis because I love
Speaker 1: I love Georgia in the spring. Yeah. So, um, we're
Speaker 1: actually talking about four different places here, right. So Georgia
Speaker 1: is a state as well as the country. In Atlantis
Speaker 1: is a mythical city underneath water in Atlanta is a
Speaker 1: city in Georgia, which is the state in America. Now,
Speaker 1: if you've seen the Elton John animated movie of Atlantis,
Speaker 1: you'll notice it doesn't feel real. And that's something that
Speaker 1: you should trust in your gut because to my knowledge,
Speaker 1: Atlantis is not a real place. Are you sure? Because
Speaker 1: that guy and it was pretty hot. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: even if you're animated, if you get cast in a
Speaker 1: Disney movie, you've gotta you've gotta be chiseled. But to
Speaker 1: my studies, into my knowledge of my colleagues information, I
Speaker 1: do not believe it is a real place. Are you sure?
Speaker 1: Because my crush got pretty real? It was pretty Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not. I mean, it is a real hotel in
Speaker 1: the Bahamas where sometimes live with um Kelly. You know,
Speaker 1: we'll go for a week. But otherwise no, I don't
Speaker 1: believe it is a underwater village. Oh well, this is
Speaker 1: kind of a bummer to start the podcast off. Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of places that are real, and I'm
Speaker 1: happy to talk about them. They some of them are
Speaker 1: even more exciting than what we know to be the
Speaker 1: myth of Atlantis. Okay, well, I guess just God, this sucks.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Do I have to keep doing this? Do
Speaker 1: I have to keep recording? Okay? My producers saying I
Speaker 1: have to cute anyway? Sorry? Okay, So can you okay, whatever?
Speaker 1: Can you just tell me, like, what makes the findings
Speaker 1: in the America unique? I guess from Georgia or whatever.
Speaker 1: You were saying, Well, we don't have time for everything.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that much. I can keep you hostage
Speaker 1: with some of this information. So there's so many interesting
Speaker 1: findings that make North American archaeology interesting. And I'll tell
Speaker 1: you one of the most recent ones that I found. Um,
Speaker 1: A lot of people say horses were brought over to
Speaker 1: the America's by Columbus. Have you heard that before? Yoko?
Speaker 1: What have you ever heard that? I've seen the movie Spirit,
Speaker 1: and I know that horses were born here. Well, yes,
Speaker 1: horses are born all over the place if they if
Speaker 1: their parents were there. But horses were actually here before Columbus,
Speaker 1: and they were prevalent and one of the most unique
Speaker 1: ways that we know that is many Native American indigenous
Speaker 1: tripes had horses with longer hair, and so we have
Speaker 1: found the material remains of horse hair clips from thousands
Speaker 1: of years ago. In fact, the first banana clip was
Speaker 1: used on a horse in North America thousands of years ago.
Speaker 1: Thousands of years ago. Tell me that's not interesting. Like
Speaker 1: the eighties, you know what, it could have been the
Speaker 1: thousand eighties, the what or the zero eighties. Yeah, long,
Speaker 1: long time ago, well before anyone we knew was alive.
Speaker 1: You mean, they're older than than John Stamos, are well
Speaker 1: well older than John Stamos. Yeah, John Stamos, his great
Speaker 1: great great great great grandparents weren't around when this horse
Speaker 1: banana clip was first manufactured. Older than George Clooney, much
Speaker 1: older than George Clooney, much older than George Clooney. Okay,
Speaker 1: so the horses have been around for a long time
Speaker 1: with long with long hairs. Yeah. Yeah. Horses are much
Speaker 1: like humans where they are generational. So um, they don't
Speaker 1: live forever, but they keep reproducing. Okay. So that's the
Speaker 1: only thing that makes America unique, not Atlantis. That is
Speaker 1: one of the most specific ones that I've recently learned
Speaker 1: about um Atlantis. Again, it could be real. I'm sure
Speaker 1: that if there is funding, they will continue to search
Speaker 1: for it, but I don't think that they will find it. Okay,
Speaker 1: well I have a question for you then. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you say you're an archaeologist. Every archaeologist I've ever hooked
Speaker 1: up with has a whip. Do you have a whip?
Speaker 1: You know when you graduate from archaeology? Well, in my
Speaker 1: where I got my doctorate, when you graduate from the
Speaker 1: archaeology department, instead of a diploma, they will give you
Speaker 1: a whip. I turned it down. I turned it down.
Speaker 1: I said, you know, if I have to use this
Speaker 1: whip to get things on a dig, maybe I'm not
Speaker 1: going about it the right way. That doesn't sound like
Speaker 1: you're a real archaeologist. Then well, I certainly get I
Speaker 1: get paid for it, and I teach it. But I
Speaker 1: just feel the use of force is too much. Nothing
Speaker 1: is worth hurting another human for. Are you sure? For me?
Speaker 1: That's what my moral compass says. Do you are you
Speaker 1: someone who hurts people? No, but sometimes my dad hurts
Speaker 1: my feelings. I don't like to hear that. But you know,
Speaker 1: I had a rough father too. Wait really, mh, you
Speaker 1: have a father. I thought old people didn't have a
Speaker 1: father because you're so old. Well I did. He has
Speaker 1: since passed to the other side. But yeah, he pushed
Speaker 1: me very hard. He wanted me to be a fly
Speaker 1: fisherman like him, and he was rough with me and
Speaker 1: would yell at me like catch the fisher, you're not
Speaker 1: eating that kind of thing. And and but I'm here
Speaker 1: and I'm able to be happy regardless of that relationships.
Speaker 1: So I wish to say for you. Wait, okay, so
Speaker 1: I'm I'm actually so. I was a really good student
Speaker 1: in high school. Okay, I gotta um, I gotta be
Speaker 1: on my AP World history test. Wow. Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: said fishing. Were you a hunter and gatherer? Is that
Speaker 1: something that you do? That is that is? Well, now
Speaker 1: we are we are all more gatherers, right because you're
Speaker 1: going to the grocery store and you're gathering. But that
Speaker 1: is part of the human tradition. Yes, there were hunters
Speaker 1: and there were gatherers, and that is before um oh lord,
Speaker 1: I'm blanking, before crops became a thing. So before we
Speaker 1: started before crops, yes, yes, like not into for these sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: and and even even further back, um from that, there's
Speaker 1: agriculture is the word that I'm looking for. Agriculture. Before agriculture,
Speaker 1: we were hunters and we were gatherers. Yeah, agriculture, now
Speaker 1: that sounds fascinating. What's that all about? Agriculture is essentially
Speaker 1: using the earth to um grow food or crops or
Speaker 1: vegetables plants for our own purposes and mostly for eating.
Speaker 1: So what does it mean when my step mom calls
Speaker 1: me passive agri culture that she okay, that she's probably
Speaker 1: saying passive aggressive, and passive aggressive is yeah, when you're
Speaker 1: not the same thing. It. Well, if she's saying passive agriculture,
Speaker 1: passive agriculture would be like a corn seed flies and
Speaker 1: it just ends up growing somewhere. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: what she means. Yeah, I think she means passive aggressive,
Speaker 1: which just means you don't feel comfortable with your anger
Speaker 1: or with your displeasure about something, and so you sort
Speaker 1: of say it in a snide way rather than just
Speaker 1: being upfront about it. Okay, you sound like my therapist
Speaker 1: cursed in now, so let's move on. Okay, okay, professor,
Speaker 1: So you're saying that people came to the America, as
Speaker 1: you're saying, people like Colombo, he came over to America. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I was doing a little bit of research before
Speaker 1: this because my producer told me I had to do
Speaker 1: some preparation. Sure, whatever, she told me. When I was
Speaker 1: doing my research, she told me, looked this up and
Speaker 1: it was actually kind of helpful. She said that people
Speaker 1: came over to the America's from Asia on the bearing straight. Yes, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: can you tell us a little bit about that? Sure? Yes,
Speaker 1: So when Columbus came over, there were already people in
Speaker 1: the America's. I hope that that's known in and like
Speaker 1: George Clooney, Uh maybe, yeah, that's maybe it could be.
Speaker 1: It's not like lander Garfield. Uh but well he would
Speaker 1: have been probably in the UK, but he maybe he
Speaker 1: could have been here. Um. Yes, So mid Pangaea. Pangaea,
Speaker 1: of course, is when all of the continents basically divorced,
Speaker 1: got divorced. Um in mid Pangaea, when what is now
Speaker 1: modern day Russia and modern day Alaska, we're still touching.
Speaker 1: People did come over from East Asia and then populated
Speaker 1: the America's and we know that through archaeology because they
Speaker 1: left food wrappers as they walked. Isn't that interesting? They
Speaker 1: left food rappers. They left food rappers. They were like,
Speaker 1: who oh sorry, w R A P P E R S.
Speaker 1: So if you went to McDonald's burking in, your sandwich
Speaker 1: was wrapped in something. It was that because they were
Speaker 1: constantly on the move, they had to wrap their food
Speaker 1: because they didn't have a kitchen. You know when you're
Speaker 1: when you're on the move. Uh, So they wrapped their
Speaker 1: food and leaves and cloth bark and and then those
Speaker 1: were strown about. Okay, I know exactly what you're talking
Speaker 1: about because my step mom, Sharon, sometimes used to make
Speaker 1: me pick up after her. Oh so I'm kind of
Speaker 1: like those people. So those are like my ancestors. Yes, well,
Speaker 1: and if she is the one who's throwing the food rapper,
Speaker 1: she is like them. But you are still a good person.
Speaker 1: So no, Sharon does not get anything special. Sharon gets
Speaker 1: my dad and the house. I can have this one thing, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: well then yes I have this one thing. You can yes,
Speaker 1: And I don't know, Sharon, but can you let me
Speaker 1: have this one thing? Yes? Yes I can. Okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: so you say the bearing straight question. Yeah, they're bearing
Speaker 1: bearing by or like a bearing gay. Okay, okay, well
Speaker 1: it did used to stretch across different continents, so it
Speaker 1: was pan continental. What because pan sexual? Is that what
Speaker 1: you were? What I'm gonna stick to archaeology. I tried
Speaker 1: to play your game, and it didn't really work out
Speaker 1: for me. What are you implying something? No? I was
Speaker 1: you you said is like you were using straight as
Speaker 1: in a sexual preference. And so then I was trying
Speaker 1: to make the same joke about being pan sexual, but
Speaker 1: it didn't work out for me, and I don't feel
Speaker 1: good about it. And again, I'm sorry that that was funny. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you keep talking about finding stuff like in the
Speaker 1: America's which is like really interesting. Sure, yeah, So I
Speaker 1: have a question. One time, I got really tipsy at
Speaker 1: my nieces graduation and we have annual passes to Disney World.
Speaker 1: So then I went to the French pavilion at Epcot
Speaker 1: and I kept digging. I just like kept kept kept digging,
Speaker 1: and I eventually almost found something. Does that make me
Speaker 1: an archaeologist? It does? It does? And this is one
Speaker 1: of the ways that we try to engage younger generations
Speaker 1: in the passion that is archaeology if you are finding
Speaker 1: material remains that leads you to investigate human history or
Speaker 1: history in general. Yes, you are an archaeologist, and I
Speaker 1: encourage you to continue with your archaeology. Do you hear that, Sharon,
Speaker 1: I'm doing something with my life. He's doing something, Sharon, Professor,
Speaker 1: You're funny. You should response to those Instagram dms. Professor. Um,
Speaker 1: So just a question. Have you have you ever found, like,
Speaker 1: what's the close thing that you found in your findings
Speaker 1: and your diggings or whatever excavations? Oh? We have found many,
Speaker 1: many cool things. But I will tell you one thing
Speaker 1: that was unique to me. This was outside of Nashville,
Speaker 1: which is where I live, and we were working on
Speaker 1: a site and digging deeper, deeper, deeper, not not finding anything,
Speaker 1: but I just had this feeling that something was going
Speaker 1: to be there, and eventually I came upon a rudimentary tool,
Speaker 1: maybe from ten thousand years ago. Uh. And it would
Speaker 1: have been used maybe as an ax as something to
Speaker 1: club with, could have been a weapon, could have I
Speaker 1: loved clubbing, yo, Yes, I love clubbing. You do you
Speaker 1: go out? Yes? Absolutely. I took my wife to Olive
Speaker 1: Garden last night and we it was it's one of
Speaker 1: my favorite clubs. Olive Garden is not club. Well, we're
Speaker 1: part of the rewards program and um, okay, what's your
Speaker 1: favorite thing together Olive Garden. Well, this is such a
Speaker 1: wrote answer and my wife says, you gotta change. But
Speaker 1: it's the bread sticks, a warm bread stick. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the cotton candy of carbohydrates. Okay, you asked me
Speaker 1: what my favorite thing Olive Garden is, and what is
Speaker 1: your favorite item at Olive Garden? Just like Sharon, it's
Speaker 1: the trip to Italy. Oh, tour of Italy. I love
Speaker 1: tour itally, Yes, of Italy. That's that's that's what it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's part. Really it was like the lasagna and the
Speaker 1: parmesan and then the Alfredo and now they have themed
Speaker 1: one Yoko, if you haven't gone back, they have a
Speaker 1: full tour of Italy menu. What I mean, if you've
Speaker 1: got an any it's going to become an Audie because
Speaker 1: you can stuff yourself with a tour of several tours
Speaker 1: of Italy. Wow. Okay, So anyway, you're saying that you
Speaker 1: like clubbing, I like clubbing. So we're digging out. We
Speaker 1: find this club on the club is inscribed my name,
Speaker 1: your name, my name is inscribed on this club. What wait, okay,
Speaker 1: tell the story of it. That is the that's the
Speaker 1: story why we don't know now archaeology. I probably don't
Speaker 1: have to tell you this. But we are jokesters. We
Speaker 1: are we are just always. So it could have been
Speaker 1: one of my colleagues pranking me and they got down
Speaker 1: there they I mean again, we're about a hundred feet
Speaker 1: into the earth. It was almost to where it was
Speaker 1: the nickel feet into the earth into there was that
Speaker 1: like eight miles. It's about that. It's about which one
Speaker 1: of my favorite movies, by the way, and there and
Speaker 1: there it is a food rapper. So um. It could
Speaker 1: have been a prank. Or it could be proof of
Speaker 1: multiple dimensions. I don't I don't know, but I haven't
Speaker 1: slept much since multiple dimensions. Okay, so does that do
Speaker 1: you have to do with that? Do you deal with
Speaker 1: like the the the thing that like in spire Man
Speaker 1: messed up? Oh yeah, multi versus I I'm saying, that's
Speaker 1: one of the explanations. This is the only verse that
Speaker 1: I've been in. I'm a universe, right as opposed to
Speaker 1: a multiverse. I'm a universe. Guy, because I've only been
Speaker 1: in one, but it's possible. I don't know how my
Speaker 1: name got on that club, but there it was. So
Speaker 1: what do you do with it? Do you get to
Speaker 1: do you get to keep the stuff that you do?
Speaker 1: I tried to, but Vanderbilt took it. Vanderbilt took it
Speaker 1: from you. So now work is it in the museum? Uh?
Speaker 1: It Well, so it was supposed to be on display first.
Speaker 1: They that you wave all sorts of lasers and things
Speaker 1: that go through the data and that. And one of
Speaker 1: my students was taking it to put on display, was
Speaker 1: walking to the lobby sort of where we display some
Speaker 1: of our more prized archaeological item and um, she tripped
Speaker 1: and crushed it. And so it's just gone now. And
Speaker 1: now it is gone. It was so brittle from being
Speaker 1: so old that it was crushed like my grandpa's pelvic
Speaker 1: replacement bone. Oh well, that sounds like a story. I
Speaker 1: tripped and then I broke it because everyone said it
Speaker 1: was so brittle. And then my dad was like, this
Speaker 1: is the reason why we don't let you sleep in
Speaker 1: the house because you just broke my dad's pelvis. And
Speaker 1: then Sharon was like, get off, why are you still
Speaker 1: stepping on him. Get off of him. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so sorry. And my dad was like,
Speaker 1: get off him. You're crushing him even more. You're crushing
Speaker 1: his pelvis. Why are you still stepping on him? And
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh my god, I tripped. I tripped.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, is he okay? Oh? Um?
Speaker 1: I should I don't know. I went to my best
Speaker 1: friend David's house after I stayed there for three years. Well,
Speaker 1: that's a long that's a long overnight, it's a long weekend.
Speaker 1: Sharon said, don't don't, don't, don't come anyway. Um, okay.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a little bit of a personal question,
Speaker 1: of course, how many? How how much do you make
Speaker 1: as an archaeologist, because it sounds like I could be one.
Speaker 1: I make one point five million dollars a year. You
Speaker 1: make one point five million, That means you're like a
Speaker 1: multi billionaire. Not yet, but if crypto works out the
Speaker 1: way that I'm hoping it does, I could be. But yeah,
Speaker 1: archaeologists are. It's one of the highest paid professions in
Speaker 1: the world. As an archaeologist college professor, archaeologists about one
Speaker 1: point five million starting salary. Wow, so I should be
Speaker 1: one and then I could make one point five million,
Speaker 1: and then I could buy back my dad's house. That
Speaker 1: sounds like a plan to me. Yeah. I think I
Speaker 1: kick out Sharon and then make her stay with David
Speaker 1: for three years. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is there? And again this is coming from me. I
Speaker 1: had a hard relationship with my father and he also
Speaker 1: got remarried. I had my Sharon. I've had my share
Speaker 1: of Sharon's. Um, is there anything that Sharon could do
Speaker 1: to make your relationship? Okay? Wow? No one's ever no
Speaker 1: one's ever asked me that. Um. I guess Sharon could
Speaker 1: firstly sorry, That would be great the acknowledgement. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: I guess Sharon could, um say sorry for taking away
Speaker 1: my Nintendo yes, when I was a kid, right before
Speaker 1: I was about to beat the Elite four. And I
Speaker 1: guess Sharon could apologize for leaving me here at the
Speaker 1: studio the other week let's sleep here met the janitor
Speaker 1: when I've told me and I think the best thing
Speaker 1: to do would be to tell her because it sounds
Speaker 1: like that pain is your materialistic remains. Painful materialistic remains
Speaker 1: that we just dug up, right, we did a full
Speaker 1: day dig and we found it. We've now categorized it
Speaker 1: what and it's time to say, Hey, Sharon, this club
Speaker 1: has your name on it. And it's hit me too
Speaker 1: many times, and I'm looking for an apology so I
Speaker 1: can move forward and be a multimillionaire archaeologist. Well, you
Speaker 1: know what archaeologist is what I mean. I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: I said archaeologists archaeologists. I meant archaeologist. I'm saying archaeologist
Speaker 1: a lot of times in a row, but you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Oh my, okay, Well stop first of it,
Speaker 1: stop making this about you, this about me. It's my podcast. Sorry,
Speaker 1: that is Wow, that was a really good idea. I
Speaker 1: just need to get her number because she's blocking on
Speaker 1: every other burner phone she's had. But that's a good idea. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Once I get ahold of her, she won't tell me
Speaker 1: where she is, and she blocked me on Instagram, so
Speaker 1: I can't follow her story. That's tough. That's tough. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I guess the question I have also is do
Speaker 1: you think that this line of work that you're in
Speaker 1: is it rewarding. I want to say yes. I want
Speaker 1: to say yeah, then say yes. I always do what
Speaker 1: I want to do, and I always say what I
Speaker 1: want to say, but I don't feel that it is
Speaker 1: what I'm doing it for the money. A lot of
Speaker 1: college professors will tell you that they are doing it
Speaker 1: for the money. Most teachers, in fact, we'll say they're
Speaker 1: doing it for the money. And that is the case
Speaker 1: for me. I got into this because it pays so well.
Speaker 1: But I hate travel. I don't like being outside, and
Speaker 1: all digs are basically outside, so then you have to
Speaker 1: think about sun protection and sunscreen is still not where
Speaker 1: it should be. How is it still running and getting
Speaker 1: in my eyes? There's a lot of work to be
Speaker 1: done there. I'm an indoor cat and this job forces
Speaker 1: me to be outside and I resent it for that.
Speaker 1: But I want to be rich. Okay, so it's not rewaring.
Speaker 1: So if someone wants to have fulfillment in their life,
Speaker 1: they shouldn't go into archaeology. Oh well, not all buildings
Speaker 1: have the same blueprint, right, So what works for me
Speaker 1: might not work for you. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. If
Speaker 1: you're going to use all that fancy word thing, you
Speaker 1: need to expect blueprint. So what I'm saying is what
Speaker 1: works for me or what doesn't work for me might
Speaker 1: work for you or might not work for you. Every
Speaker 1: person is different, so they're calling is different? Is a
Speaker 1: blueprint like a blue version of Nicki Minaj's pink Print?
Speaker 1: It could be it could be yeah, but it's also
Speaker 1: I love that album. It's She's She's a food rapper.
Speaker 1: O Oh, I trust me. I know who Nicholas minajes
Speaker 1: and I'm such a huge fan of her work. A blueprint, yes,
Speaker 1: used in architecture to you know, tell the builders what
Speaker 1: the building should be. It's like a script for a
Speaker 1: screenplay or screenplay for a movie. It's like a domptop
Speaker 1: for a building. It is exactly that. It's like, you
Speaker 1: do this, you shut up. You have to call me sir. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is. It's like that. It's a domtop yep. I
Speaker 1: love that. Wow. Okay, So so maybe someone could like
Speaker 1: archaeology and could go into it. They could like if
Speaker 1: they could love it, this could you're calling And it
Speaker 1: sounds like if you were spending your precious time in
Speaker 1: Disney World to dig, then maybe this is your calling.
Speaker 1: Maybe it is. There's only one way to find out,
Speaker 1: and it's to come on a dig with us. Would
Speaker 1: you like to come on a dig with us. Oh
Speaker 1: are you inviting me to a dig? Okay? Um, I
Speaker 1: have a few rules, but I would love to come
Speaker 1: on a dig with you. Okay, Well we've got our
Speaker 1: rules too. What are they? Okay, wait, we should do
Speaker 1: one rollout. I'll say one role, then you say one role. Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: So my role is? Can it be to find Atlanta? Uh? Yes,
Speaker 1: if you want to go find if you want to
Speaker 1: do a dig in Atlanta, I'm sure we could make
Speaker 1: that happen. Okay, what's your role? Our rule is be tidy.
Speaker 1: Be tidy at the dig. Everyone's got their little space
Speaker 1: and we need to have everything categorized and clean so
Speaker 1: that we know when something is different. So we were
Speaker 1: able to catalog it. Okay. Well, my ex one time
Speaker 1: called me a messy bottom, so not like that. Don't
Speaker 1: be like with my ex. Yes, if you have a
Speaker 1: messy bottom, you're gonna need to clean it up before
Speaker 1: you come on the dig. I don't have a messy bob.
Speaker 1: Now this was back in Yes. Well okay, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I'm just in general, no messy bottoms at the dig.
Speaker 1: Okay Okay. My second role is, um can I um can,
Speaker 1: I cannot, Yoko? Are these rules are questions? I guess
Speaker 1: they're kind of questions. Well, they can be both. If
Speaker 1: you have other questions, let's do it. But I I
Speaker 1: don't want to. I want to make the experience what
Speaker 1: you wanted to be. Well, I just I've never been
Speaker 1: on a dig, so it's really cool to get invited
Speaker 1: on the dig. I don't know, like I'm just almost
Speaker 1: kind of nervous. I don't want to make a fool
Speaker 1: of myself. I don't want to be embarrassed. Oh, and
Speaker 1: that is unavoidable, because I will say again, archaeologists are
Speaker 1: we are pranky people? Uh? Most of Actually the Jackass
Speaker 1: Crew started out in archaeology. And on your first dig
Speaker 1: there will be many pranks and you will be the
Speaker 1: butt of many jokes. You cannot walk away from your
Speaker 1: first dig not feeling embarrassed, with your tail between your legs. Oh, well,
Speaker 1: is there a way I can skip that step? Because
Speaker 1: I don't like that, because that sounds like my entire
Speaker 1: life from ages zero to six. Oh, but this is
Speaker 1: done with love. This is not done in the absence
Speaker 1: of love. This is saying that's my dad said. Is
Speaker 1: your dad an archaeologist. No, well, yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: can only tell you the reality of what the job is.
Speaker 1: And on your first day on an archaeological dig, you
Speaker 1: will not be able to walk away from that dig
Speaker 1: without somebody taking their shovel and spanking you. And that
Speaker 1: is just part of the fun of an archaeological dig.
Speaker 1: Spank Yeah, yeah, all sorts of pranks of given somebody
Speaker 1: a dirt bath, burying them and then forgetting about them,
Speaker 1: which is always really funny, and then come back the
Speaker 1: next day and be like, oh, what what's this artifact? Oh,
Speaker 1: it's it's your go you know. It sounds like you're
Speaker 1: planning to do that, professor, Well, we've done it before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta watch out. Okay. On my first dig, I
Speaker 1: was buried underneath dirt for a month. Okay, well you
Speaker 1: know what. Thank you so much for this. This has
Speaker 1: been very educational, to say the least. I hope you
Speaker 1: mean that, Yoko, I do good. And we've come to
Speaker 1: our last segment called I should have known and so
Speaker 1: another our guest has proven how knowledgeable they are on
Speaker 1: their subject. And honestly, I think I'm a tad a
Speaker 1: thing or two. We're going to show how I'm not
Speaker 1: only an expert in their field myself, but also I'm
Speaker 1: an expert in mind me. So I'm going to ask
Speaker 1: my guest five questions on me to see who's the
Speaker 1: smarter one. Here it's me and our time begins now. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the first question, what's my worst fear succeeding No,
Speaker 1: it's my key to Tampa being taken away, because I
Speaker 1: had a key to Tampa. I have a key I
Speaker 1: have present, so I can't oh my god, I can't
Speaker 1: manifest it getting taken away. So I have a key
Speaker 1: to Tampa that the mayor gave me. And uh, it's
Speaker 1: the most prized possession I have because Tampa is very
Speaker 1: important to me. You know, it's like the strip club
Speaker 1: capital of the America's because I know a lot about
Speaker 1: America's too. Okay, my my producers saying, keep going okay. Um.
Speaker 1: Number two, rank the Spice Girls in order of how
Speaker 1: much I think about them. Scaries one, Sporty is two,
Speaker 1: baby is three, pashas for ginger five. Are you stupid?
Speaker 1: Are you dumb? I feel like I'm about to find
Speaker 1: out are you dumb? Answered? I want to answer to
Speaker 1: that question, are you stupid? I'm a professor with a
Speaker 1: doctorate PhD. Are are you a stupid poopy head? No?
Speaker 1: I've never had poop on my head, although I have
Speaker 1: gotten pink eye annually, which is something that I need
Speaker 1: to figure out. Okay, well, the answer is obviously baby
Speaker 1: scary posh, sporty and ginger. The wow posh is higher
Speaker 1: than I would have her. But hey, some people are
Speaker 1: in it for the flash and the smoke and mirrors,
Speaker 1: and other people just appreciate talent. And this is why
Speaker 1: vanderbo If you're listening to take aways, dr Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: who's my favorite singer? Yourr favorite singer? Mandy Moore? Wrong,
Speaker 1: it's Sirie. Okay. Where is my favorite second date spot?
Speaker 1: Your favorite second date spot? Lake house? Lake House? No,
Speaker 1: I feel like we've got to know each other. I'm
Speaker 1: terrified of water, Okay, can I try to get How
Speaker 1: about a Italian restaurant? Wow, we've already done Olive Garden
Speaker 1: steak place? You mean steak home? No, the answer is Grinnell, Iowa.
Speaker 1: It's a great place to take someone on the second date. Delightful.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, really good liberal arts callers there too. I
Speaker 1: didn't get in, but fund to walk around. Yes, I
Speaker 1: believe it's called Kenyan Okay, now at all? And number five,
Speaker 1: who is my biggest inspiration? Apollo and aunt I No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm so mad at him for what he knows what
Speaker 1: he did. He knows what he did. He knows exactly
Speaker 1: what he did, and if he replied to my texts,
Speaker 1: he would know that I'm not mad at him really
Speaker 1: anymore by his what apology and the answer is me,
Speaker 1: I'm my own biggest inspiration. Okay, that's healthy. I will
Speaker 1: say that that sounds healthy. Thank you so much, Thank
Speaker 1: you well, thank you so much for coming on my podcast,
Speaker 1: and thanks for listening to this week's episode of Are
Speaker 1: You There Dad? It's me Yoko And until next time, Bye,