1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:06,559 Speaker 1: Everybody. Shop Talk number twenty eight. It's Bill Courtney with 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 1: an army of normal folks, and I don't have a 3 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: bell because recording these two shop talks back to back. Whatever, 4 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: Now we just went behind the curtain again. Yeah, I 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: guess we did. But the point is, will you please 6 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: ring the bell? We can just leave it here. It 7 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: could just stay will Okay, Shop Talk number twenty eight, 8 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: it will be the last one without a bell, even 9 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: when a guest sends us a bell. I feel so bad. Okay, 10 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: Shop Talk number twenty eight. It's actually one that's really 11 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: near and dear to my heart. And because of the content, 12 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 1: I'm not going to say the name of the listener 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: the sentence to us, but before we go to the title, 14 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: I'm going to read it so during the commercial break 15 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: you can think about it. Hey, Bill, I just listened 16 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: to another great shop talk which made me think of 17 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: another possible shop talk idea that I wanted to see 18 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: into you. The question is why are we so quick 19 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: to write people off and out of our lives. I've 20 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,559 Speaker 1: been going through this unwelcome ordeal for the last few 21 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: years with my brother because I guess we see each 22 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,639 Speaker 1: other as enemies. I would like to say I'm fine 23 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: with it personally, but I know it's devastating to my mom. 24 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 1: But man, my pride gets in the way of reaching 25 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: out and trying for a possible reconciliation. I know my 26 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 1: situation isn't rare and heard of in our seemingly divided 27 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: country and world. But maybe you can shed a light 28 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: on a possible healing process or journey that many of 29 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 1: us could find helpful for ourselves as or as mediators 30 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: for others. God bless you and your families, signed the listener. 31 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: So that's terrible that social and oftentimes political and media 32 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: driven near to break up families and brothers and friendships 33 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: talked about a lot on shop Talk, but specifically, our 34 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: listener here says, maybe you can shed a light on 35 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: a possible healing process or journey that many of us 36 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 1: can find helpful for ourselves or as mediators for others. 37 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: And I'm going to humbly make a suggestion on this 38 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: stop talk so shot Talk number twenty nine, how to Heal. 39 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: Right after these brief messages from our general sponsors, all right, everybody, 40 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: welcome back to shop Talking number twenty nine, Bill Courtney, 41 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 1: How to Heal so In this particular episode, you heard 42 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: the letter, and it's about a brother who's uh, who's 43 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 1: got unreconciled differences with his brother and it hurts him, 44 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: but he knows it's devastating for his mom, and he 45 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: admits readily that his ego is standing in the way. 46 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: I just want to say this. Every night when I 47 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: go to bed, I do pray, and I pray for 48 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 1: forgiveness of my sins. And the reason is I'm failed. 49 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: I'm a sinner. I do things every day that I 50 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: look back on and I wish I hadn't done. I 51 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: say things or act in a way that I would 52 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: like to think I wouldn't, but I do, and I 53 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: think things that I shouldn't, And and really it's because 54 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: that's how we humans are. We are failed. We have issues, 55 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: and we act out on those issues. And a lot 56 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: of it sometimes has to do with our own insecurities, 57 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 1: or even our ego, or our overinflated view of ourselves, 58 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: or our underflated view of others who don't necessarily act 59 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: like us, think like us, or any of those things. 60 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: And so how do I become redeemed from that? And 61 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 1: personally it's for me, I pray, and I pray to 62 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: who I think is the creator of the universe. And 63 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: what happens in my faith is that you get to 64 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: a place once you feel like you have a good 65 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 1: enough relationship with your creator that when you ask for forgiveness, 66 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: you ask for redemption so that you can kind of 67 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: wash away the ugliness of what you created in your 68 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: own life, so that you can wake up refreshed and 69 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:14,280 Speaker 1: anew the following day. You begin to expect that forgiveness. 70 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: You know it's a promise, so you take it. But 71 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: here's the thing. If, as a faithful person, I hold 72 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:31,359 Speaker 1: grudges against another person, what kind of hypocrite would I 73 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 1: be to hold a grudge when I expect and accept 74 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 1: forgiveness for what I've done wrong from who I think 75 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: is the creator and the ruler of the universe, and 76 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: then turn around and don't give that same redemption, grace 77 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 1: and forgiveness to another failed human being. What kind of 78 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: hypocrite am I? What? What forgiveness do I deserve? What 79 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: redemption do I deserve? If I'm going to take that 80 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: but be unwilling to offer it. So it is with 81 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: this sense of redemption and grace that I accept expect 82 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:19,919 Speaker 1: and am so eternally grateful for that. I have an expectation, 83 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 1: I think, to then offer to someone else who has 84 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: the same demons and issues going on in their lives 85 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: that I do. So when I read from my mystery 86 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: writer here that I would like to say that I'm 87 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,279 Speaker 1: fine with this rift with my brother personally, but I 88 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: know it's devastating to my mom. But man, my pride 89 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: gets in the way of reaching out for a possible reconciliation. 90 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 1: I know my situation isn't rare unheard of than our 91 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: seemingly divided country world, but maybe you can shed a 92 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: light on a possible healing process or journey that many 93 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 1: of us could find helpful for our lives or as 94 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 1: mediators for others. I just say this, if you've ever 95 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: been forgiven in your life by a friend, by a 96 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: family member, or by your God, and you've accepted that redemption, 97 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: that grace, that forgiveness, and you've allowed yourself to take 98 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: the yoke of that misery off your own shoulders and 99 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: walk a little lighter and feel a little better because 100 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: of the forgiveness that was given to you, what kind 101 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: of buttthead must you be not to reach out and 102 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: offer it to another. You can't do that. Don't be 103 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: a hypocrite. You have to give what you receive. I mean, 104 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 1: we're always talking about an army of normal folks, and 105 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: every one of our guests will tell you they get 106 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: fifty times more out of the work they put into 107 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: their communities for themselves. They get fifty times more out 108 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: of it than what they put into it, you know, 109 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: kind of similarly or paralleli. I think forgiveness is more 110 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: important for the forgiver than the forgiven, because you you 111 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: get rid of all of that anxiety, You get rid 112 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: of all that anger once you forgive somebody who's wronged you. 113 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 1: So what's the what's the healing process? What's the journey? 114 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: Pick up the phone, call your brother, ask forgiveness for 115 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 1: whatever you've done wrong, Give grace and redemption and for 116 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: goodness sakes, when you're riffed with another person, hurts somebody 117 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: else who's not even involved in the rift, like your mother, 118 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: who raised you, who gave you birth, who gave you life, 119 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: who gave you everything she possibly give you, who now 120 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: mourns because her two brothers can't get along. Is that 121 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: even close to right? Yeah? Your ego is in the 122 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,560 Speaker 1: way of your own happiness, your egoes in the way 123 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: of your brother's happiness, but your hegoes in the way 124 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: your mom's happiness and probably other people's happiness around you. 125 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: Find grace, find redemption, find forgiveness, and offer it up 126 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 1: to another failed human being who deserves it just as 127 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: much as you do. I think, I think as we 128 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: think about the on a larger scale, our country and 129 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 1: the divisions that have happened because of our politics and 130 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 1: our media that I talk about often to think that 131 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:53,680 Speaker 1: that we can't even offer somebody else enough grace to 132 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,079 Speaker 1: hear their hear their side of the story, to hear 133 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 1: their perspective. And we're so caught up in our own 134 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 1: selfish sel interest and egos that we're unwilling to redeem 135 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 1: one another by simply saying I'm sorry, by simply reaching out, 136 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: listen to another person's perspective, by considering that they have 137 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,679 Speaker 1: pain just like we have pain, and offering grace and 138 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: forgiveness just like my Lord does for me every single night, 139 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:29,199 Speaker 1: so I can face the day fresh. Let's not be hypocritical, folks. 140 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: If we want grace and we want to be forgiven, 141 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 1: we've got to offer grace and have a forgiving heart, 142 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: and in doing so we can repair lots of things 143 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: that are painful and fix a lot of what's broken. 144 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: So that is shop Talk number twenty nine, and mister listener, 145 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: I hope you'll hear this and pick up the phone 146 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: and call your brother and then call your mom and 147 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: tell you love her. Thanks for joining us. If anybody 148 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 1: has any ideas for chop Talk again, email them as 149 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,319 Speaker 1: you've just heard. If I think I have something to offer, 150 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: we will respond. Thanks for our to our producer, Iron 151 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: Light Labs. I'm Bill Courtney. We'll see you next week.