1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: My brother went missing ten years ago, but today I 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: uncovered my parent's dark secret. I mean that is a 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: long time. Ten years, ten years, that's longer than Rick 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: and Morty has been on air. My brother went missing 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,800 Speaker 1: years ago, and when I say missing, I mean that 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: his case was declared one of those creepy unsolved mysteries. 7 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: Are we true crime now? Yeah, that's what's happened. We're 8 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,280 Speaker 1: getting into. It was on the news. I distinctly remember 9 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 1: my parents interviewing for the news in our living room, 10 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: and I think I know what happened to him, y'all, 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: I'm ready. I was very young when he went missing. 12 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: The day before he disappeared, I remember him staying home 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,520 Speaker 1: and babysitting me. I stayed in my room and played 14 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: Nintendo sixty four throughout the day. A guy came over. 15 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: I remember him. He was older, almost our dad's eight. 16 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 1: My brother made me go to my room whenever I 17 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: heard the doorbell. Later, after the guy left, my brother 18 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: would ask me not to say anything about the guy. 19 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: With my brain only being focused on video games at 20 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: extra dessert at that age, I agreed. I didn't care, 21 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: nor did I comprehend the gravity of the situation. The 22 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: day before he did appeared. I remember the older guy 23 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: coming over. I was in the kitchen and remember looking 24 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 1: up and seeing him kiss my brother. They hugged. They 25 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: didn't care that I saw them. The older guy waved 26 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: back at me, and I wave back at him. Then 27 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: I kept watching cartoon. I fell asleep on the couch 28 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,199 Speaker 1: and woke up to my brother whispering outside our front door. 29 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: Don't worry, he's asleep, he said. The old guy said 30 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 1: something I couldn't hear. Then my brother said something I 31 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: couldn't make out, but I made out the words visit them, 32 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: or maybe he said visit him. Either way, I know 33 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: the word visit was in the sentence. The man raised 34 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: his voices. Then I heard plan in city, and then 35 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,960 Speaker 1: I fell asleep again. The next morning, the day he disappeared, 36 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,759 Speaker 1: my parents were at work. My brother was acting very strange. 37 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: I remember he kept checking the cloth. Then he told 38 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: me he had to run to our neighbor's house or something. 39 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: I don't even remember what he said. I just said okay. 40 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: He reminded me to not open the door for anyone, 41 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: only mom and Dad. I shouted at him okay, because 42 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: super Mario was getting on my effing nerves and he 43 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: wasn't helping. He gave me a hug and told me 44 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: he loved me, and left, and he never came back. 45 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: All these years, decades later, and I think he was 46 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 1: in love with that man. Maybe his brother's older, like 47 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: eighteen or something. I know he was. Some memories randomly 48 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: came flooding back to me earlier. I'm not quite sure why, 49 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: but it has been taking over my thoughts lately. I 50 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: can't sleep because I keep thinking about it. I think 51 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: my brother left with that man and they ran away together, 52 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: or maybe something worse happened, but I don't think that's 53 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 1: the case. My freshman year of college, I was part 54 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: of a sports team that got national recognition. I remember 55 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: my team's picture was on ESPN and I had our 56 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: university's name. A few days later, I got mail at 57 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 1: my dorm. It was a gift basket. I thought it 58 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: was from my parents, so I didn't read the card. 59 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: I threw it away immediately and ate what was inside. 60 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: But it was nothing but candy, no jolly ranchers, TUTSI 61 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: rolls and heard these kisses, you freaking teenager. I called 62 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: my dad and thanked him for the gift basket, and 63 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,679 Speaker 1: he said he didn't send one, neither did Mom. Then 64 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: I got to think all those candies were what I 65 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: used to eat as a kid. Literally all I ate 66 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: for the earliest years of my life were those candy. 67 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I tried to find the card, but 68 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: I couldn't. Months later, during Christmas, I got an unmarked 69 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: The only thing written on it was which is hella creepy? 70 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 2: That is way too cryptic and life at least say 71 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 2: like hope you're well. 72 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,959 Speaker 1: Since then, I've heard nothing. No one I know sent 73 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: that card, and I have never responded. I wonder every 74 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: day if he's out there. I've never told anyone. When 75 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: the police asked me what happened that day, I told 76 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: them that he went to the neighbors because that's all 77 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: I remembered, honestly. And it destroyed my parents. My mom 78 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: became addicted to painkillers, and my dad has had three 79 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: extramarital affairs, dealing with pain in different ways. I just 80 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: way to go Dad, my god, which I know this 81 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: strategy is no way an excuse tea, but it shirt 82 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: didn't help. It has ruined our family, and maybe my 83 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: brother knows what he did maybe he regrets it and 84 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: knows he can't come back home. But if I could 85 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: see him today, I would just want to tell him 86 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: that he's always welcome in my home. I love you 87 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: so much. Brother. We have so much catching up to do. 88 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: Lease come home, bees and there is enough. Oh my gosh, 89 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: that John, What do you think happened? I mean, first 90 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: of all, OPI you got to be a little like, 91 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: just give it. 92 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 2: To us straight what you're thinking. It seems like Opie 93 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 2: is hinting he knows where the brother is. That like 94 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 2: maybe the guy was like a lover or something. Honestly, 95 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 2: when I was first listening to it, I suspected like 96 00:03:56,320 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 2: that was his real like biological dad. Oh dad came 97 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: back and was like, I'm your real dad blah blah blah. 98 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: And I don't know. 99 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 2: I guess maybe he's vindictive against the family or something 100 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 2: like that was my initial hypothesis. 101 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: Extra marital affairs, Yeah about your dad's. 102 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, like the dad doesn't know he's a dad type 103 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 2: of a situation. That's what I guessed was happening in 104 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 2: the beginning. Well, you're ready to find out, you know. 105 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,280 Speaker 1: Sam, some things out there are shrimpy. Wimpy. I hate 106 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 1: shrimpy under the sea animals. Other things are top dog 107 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: like dolphins. Like dolphins. You know what also reminds me 108 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: of like the shrimp of the world. Most nicotine products 109 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 1: terrible for you, gets your teeth all dirty. Lucy is 110 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: the nicotine alternative, y'all. 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Warning this product does 125 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 2: contain nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Let's get back 126 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 2: to the show. 127 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: I got into contact with some detectives that our family 128 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: has known since my brother went missing. When I started 129 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: asking questions, they told me that my brother was no 130 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: longer on any missing person's registry. When I asked what 131 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: that meant, they told me that he was removed for 132 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,720 Speaker 1: my parents' requests. Okay, I asked my parents. My dad 133 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,919 Speaker 1: actually my dad ignored. My mom told me my brother 134 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: is alive and okay, as far as you know. They 135 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: found my brother years ago, a very very long time ago, 136 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 1: and found out he was living with another man. He's gay, 137 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: and it disgusted my parents. He tried to reach out 138 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 1: to them. They told them they didn't want anything to 139 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: do with him, and that I didn't remember him and 140 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: wouldn't want to see it. Like, keep your biases within 141 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: yourself at the very least, don't let them affect the 142 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: younger brother. I went ballistic. My parents weren't phased by it. 143 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: They sincerely hate my brother for who he is, for 144 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: being gay. They kept him a secret for me all 145 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: my effing life. My brother missed the birth of his nephew, 146 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 1: he missed my wedding, graduations, everything, just because my parent 147 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,920 Speaker 1: They lied to me. I've been able to get a 148 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: phone number and contact information from police officers. Oh wow, 149 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,599 Speaker 1: he's a lie. I haven't talked to my parents in weeks, 150 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 1: and I never plan on speaking to them ever again. 151 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 1: Oh wow, not for what they've done to me or 152 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: my brother. I called my brother. The first thing I 153 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: heard on the other line was this guy laughing in 154 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: the background. Who is this? It was his voice. I 155 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 1: knew that voice. It was my effing brother who had 156 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 1: been gone my entire light covered my mouth with my 157 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: shaking hands and just sat there, kept asking me who 158 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 1: it was. The guy in the background is trying to 159 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 1: talk to him, and then he hung up on me. 160 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 1: I called him back right away. He answered again, okay, 161 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: me being a creepy ass. The first thing I said, 162 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: after decades of not seeing him and thinking he was dead, 163 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: I blurted. He asked me who I was and what 164 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: I wanted. I said, it's me. There was a really 165 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: long pause. I thought the call had dropped, asking my name. 166 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 1: I told him, and he said that I was lying. 167 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: I told him I got his number from the Missing 168 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: Children's Network and detective. I heard him gasp. He asked 169 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: me what colored shoelaces he wore to a picnic when 170 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: we were kid, and I remember my mom getting mad 171 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 1: at his orange laces with blue shoes. It was the 172 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: last time we were together as a family. I could 173 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: tell he was crying. The first thing he asked me 174 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: was where are you? And I told him I lived 175 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: a few hours away from home. Without hesitating, he told 176 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: me I'm coming. He went straight to the airport without 177 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: any luggage, bought a plane ticket, and flew straight to me. 178 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: We stayed on the phone with each other the entire time. 179 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: When he was walking through the gate, I knew who 180 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 1: he was right away. He's middle aged, salt and pepper hair, muscular, 181 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: looks like my dad, only better. I know if I 182 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: told him that would make him mad. I literally pushed 183 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: an old lady out of the way and I just 184 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 1: hugged him. He was crying. I was crying. I was 185 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: having a breakdown. He apologize, He kept telling me he fell. 186 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: Told him forget about everything and tell me about his life. 187 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: He stayed with us for two weeks, and in two 188 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: weeks everything about my life change. His husband and two 189 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: daughters lew in to stay with us. My brother in 190 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: law and my two nieces, two daughters Wow, my family, 191 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: they are my family, and you not plan on forgiving 192 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: my parents. But my brother still loves them. He went 193 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: by their house and knocked on the door. My father 194 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: shut the door in his face. My mother gave him 195 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 1: a hug and told him to take care of himself, 196 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: and she shut him out. I can't forgive them for that. 197 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: I have no reason to stay close to them. I 198 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: want to make up for the lost time. And I'm 199 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: here so happy, so fulfilled knowing that my family has 200 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: grown and doubled in size. So suddenly my heart is happy. 201 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: I am so happy right now. Wow. I don't know 202 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: how it would react, like seeing my mother after a decade. 203 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: A decade, that's that is a long and also like 204 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: thinking that my brother was missing or like that. Yeah, 205 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: also I can't believe the parent. 206 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 2: It always shocks me when someone will just like disown 207 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 2: their child with that. 208 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: That was a tearjerker. That was a tearerker. That was 209 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: a good one. I would love to know what you 210 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: guys thought. We'll season my fiance started making more money 211 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: than me, swat calling off the wedding? Am I the 212 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: a hole? You might be the ale? Like if you're 213 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: that insecure about being the breadwinner in the band of 214 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 1: the house, I must make all the money, man, I provide. 215 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 2: My fiance and I moved in together shortly before we 216 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 2: got engaged. Before we did, we discussed how we would 217 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 2: split the housework and bills fifty to fifty down the middle, 218 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 2: with some wiggle room when the other one needs help, 219 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 2: which is a great policy. 220 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: I mean, that sounds great, that be very reasonable. 221 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 2: When we moved, it was into her parents' two story 222 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 2: garage that they converted into an apartment. 223 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: They offered a low story garage into an apartment, two 224 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: story garage that they converted into apartment. You can have 225 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: a two story garage. Yeah. Your car just goes you know, 226 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: then it goes up the stairs. Yeah. Yeah, like it's 227 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: like walking on his tires. You need one of those 228 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 1: hydraulic cars. Yeah, have fun with editing with that. There's 229 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: got to be something there. Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about 230 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: those like those low riding cars. Yeah, dude, those things 231 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: are sick. You know. In Venice, like they like ride 232 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: around them and them all the time. 233 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 2: No, in the mission in San Francisco, they would have 234 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 2: like these car shows where they would just bring out 235 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 2: like a hundred just going through the streets seen those. 236 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 2: It's so it's so awesome, man, I I there's there's 237 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 2: probably something like that in LA, just yet for sure. 238 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 2: So they offered us a low rent seven hundred dollars 239 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 2: total in their total total. Where are they living in 240 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 2: a two story converted garage apartment? 241 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 1: Well, I mean even a two story garage apartment in 242 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: LA would be like at least a two story to 243 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 1: anything you're paying at least fourteen hundred. There's there's a 244 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 1: one bedroom that's like a add on unit, like a 245 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 1: few blocks over from us, one bedroom, a queen bed 246 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: can barely fit in the room. Twenty eight hundred dollars. Ridiculous. Yeah, 247 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:51,599 Speaker 1: LA prices, dude. Thing is like I don't want to 248 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: well it's really I mean Santa Monica Venice prices. Yeah, 249 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: but I don't want to live anywhere else. 250 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 2: I feel I feel you you did it the smart 251 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 2: way though, you're you, We're a smart boy. 252 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,720 Speaker 1: What you split? You split a room? Oh yeah I do. Yeah. 253 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 2: It just makes it so much and even even me, 254 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 2: like I would say my rent is like people would 255 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 2: consider cheap normal. 256 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: I would say it. I would say, it's like light 257 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 1: below what do you think is cheap rent in LA. 258 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 1: I think the average is like fifteen hundred, And what 259 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: are you paying fifteen hundred? No, I'm paying twelve hundred. 260 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: Twelve hundred okay, yeah, okay, no, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, but. 261 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 2: I think people when they go and they kind of 262 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 2: get like a you know, kind of semi starter apartment 263 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 2: like in the West Side, Like they don't go super cheap, 264 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 2: but they also don't go super crazy, probably like multiple rooms. 265 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: I think it's like fifteen hundred. I mean that totally 266 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,560 Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, that totally makes sense. Yeah. Here, I 267 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: am paid six hundred. 268 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 2: Let's go, yeah, smart, smart boy, and I pitch in 269 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 2: and we pitch in for the electric in the internet 270 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 2: so we could save money for our own place and 271 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 2: the wedding. Smart financial moves. My fiance earns more than me, 272 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 2: and that's it's cool. Oh, I'm proud of her. Great, 273 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:03,960 Speaker 2: it's all good. 274 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: I mean, how much more? And I wonder what, like, 275 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: like I wonder what the they're actually making. I'm very curious. 276 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if we ever find out, because like, 277 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: seven hundred bucks a month is super cheap. Dude, that's 278 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: nothing split between two people. Yeah, three one hundred and 279 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 1: fifty dollars a month and you're late. No no, no no, yeah, 280 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: you're chilling. 281 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 2: No no no no no. Before we moved in together, 282 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 2: it always seemed like she was living paycheck to paycheck, 283 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 2: and I just chalked it up to the nice apartment 284 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 2: she had prior, which had insanely high rent. 285 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: Right. She stuck to the fifty to fifty agreement at first, oh, 286 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 1: at first concerning bills, but she missed paying often and 287 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: I would have to remind her about it. Come on 288 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: pay on time. The worst is like when you venmo 289 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: request someone and they say they're going to pay you 290 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: and they just don't. 291 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 2: There's very few things on this planet that irked me 292 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 2: more than that. One time I had someone not only 293 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 2: not only did she get a meal like on me 294 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 2: for like all of them will be back, she got 295 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 2: a meal for a second person who was not there 296 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:14,840 Speaker 2: to bring to them later. We go to that place later, 297 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 2: they didn't even touch the food and she never paid 298 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: me fifty dollars at adam. 299 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,559 Speaker 1: Dude, I was so pissed. 300 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 2: You don't even know. 301 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: It's double meal on John's dime. What are you gonna do? 302 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 2: But now post engagement she's back living paycheck to paycheck, 303 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 2: either missing or very late with her part of the 304 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 2: rent monthly, the two utilities we pay, groceries, and late 305 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 2: with her car payments. 306 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,080 Speaker 1: What does she mean, like, like, was she spending this 307 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: money on That's a great question. If oh, he's like 308 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:54,760 Speaker 1: doing fine and he's making less than her, what's she doing? Gucci? Yeah, 309 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,439 Speaker 1: she tho she bags. 310 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 2: Her parents have talked to me multiple times about rent, 311 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 2: and I've I've covered her mission and I've covered her 312 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 2: missing portion to get us caught up. 313 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 1: And they try talking to her, it always turns into 314 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 1: her saying we should just move if my parents are 315 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: gonna be hounding us for the money. I love how 316 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 1: it's like her parents that I have, and like basically 317 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: op's paying her parents literally and then her parents are 318 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: like talk some cents into her and it's like you 319 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 1: talks have sided. Yeah. 320 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 2: I told her we're lucky that it's her parents place, 321 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 2: because anywhere else we would have gotten our bouts kicked out. 322 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: On top of that, I pay my own. 323 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 2: Bills, do about sixty five percent of the housework, which 324 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 2: potentially maybe embellished If. 325 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: It's sixty sixty five seems like an odd number. Yeah, 326 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: I'll give it to him, just on the peer account 327 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: of this, you know, whole financial situation. Sixty five percent 328 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 1: of the housework, arrange and pay for most of our dates, vacations, 329 00:14:55,680 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 1: gifts for gifts for her, and pay most towards our pets. Dude, 330 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: he is the lion. He is fronting the bill. But 331 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: if he's doing all that, what does she spending it on. 332 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: It's a good question. I've suggested a financial coach. But 333 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 1: what kicks me is whenever we're around others, she boasts 334 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 1: about being the bread warner, about being the breadwinner because 335 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: she earns more than me. She was also like, like, 336 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 1: regardless of whatever situation is, that's like fucked up to say. 337 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like that, Like why would you ever boast 338 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 2: about that? Why would you even tell someone that unless 339 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: it's like a very like okay, like here's our financial situation, 340 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 2: where like maybe giving someone advice and there for it, 341 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 2: But like. 342 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 1: That just like makes the other person feel bad. It does. 343 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: It's so lame. It's so lame. She goes on and 344 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: on about the stresses of being the main source of income. 345 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: Bruh Man still paying you know what you're supposed to 346 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 1: be fifty to fifty until you're not even paying your 347 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: fair share. She goes on and on about being the 348 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 1: main source of ink and all the hours she has 349 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: to work to pay our bills. Oh my god, I 350 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: hate her. I hate it. I was letting a slide 351 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: until a few days ago. Why are you letting it slide? 352 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 1: That's a great question. Yeah, I would have like had 353 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 1: to chat with her at least, be like pulling to 354 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: the side after, like, dude, what the fuck? Yeah, Like, 355 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 1: what world are you living on? 356 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 2: She and her sister started up again about her being 357 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 2: the breadwinner now. Her sister said something to the effect 358 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 2: of her ex boyfriend had a hard time being with 359 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 2: someone who earned more, and my fiance was like, good thing, 360 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 2: Op doesn't mind because I'm bringing home most of the pay. 361 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I hate it. I hate it so much. 362 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: It's awful. 363 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 2: I told her, just because she earns more doesn't make 364 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 2: her the breadwinner when she blows it all herself and 365 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 2: I'm paying the bills. 366 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, he's actually paying the money. I love picking 367 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 1: it up every time, but bro, he's paying is it 368 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,040 Speaker 1: fair shared? She's not the one shit that makes you 369 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 1: the bread winner? Paying the bills. Yeah, let's talk about that. 370 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 1: Let's talk about that. Just because you're spending more money 371 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 1: on just whatever you're spending it on, does not make 372 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 1: you the bread winner, not at all. Whining no bread, 373 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 1: yeah yeah, no bread. Your bread is flat, Your bread 374 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: is filthy. She's embarrassed now and keep saying that I 375 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: made her look bad and got her in trouble with 376 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 1: her parents because now they want to see what she 377 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 1: spends her money on. Every mile, I want to see 378 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,879 Speaker 1: what she spends her money on. Everyone should see what 379 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,959 Speaker 1: she's spending her money on. Bro Seriously, she probably spending 380 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 1: it on crypto invested. Maybe she's like a secret crypto investment. 381 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 2: And then she's like, surprise, we're billionaires. But I don't 382 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 2: think I did anything wrong. Am I the a whole? 383 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 1: No op? Or not the ahole? She's an a hole 384 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 1: for once previously spending all her money on things that 385 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 1: are not the bills, then claiming that she's paying all 386 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,439 Speaker 1: the bills and that she's the redwetter, and she's making 387 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,920 Speaker 1: you feel bad for some like misrepresented reality. 388 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 2: She's literally has so little excuse. Their rent is three 389 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars a month, No excuse, no excuse. 390 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,439 Speaker 1: I really want to know one what actually makes Is 391 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 1: there any comments about like like respon will check on there. 392 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: Oh I would love to hear the update. So on 393 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: to the update. 394 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 2: At eleven last night, I was ready to just postpone 395 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 2: the engagement. As of this morning, after a lot of 396 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:44,200 Speaker 2: talking and things to come to light, we are officially 397 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 2: broken up. The wedding is off. Oh wow, it's over. 398 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 2: It's over. I mean it's over. 399 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: Damn. I Like, I don't know if it's a wedding ender. Yeah, 400 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 1: I don't know, just because the only reason I say 401 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 1: that is like, give her a chance, you know, to 402 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 1: like correct her behavior. Yeah, right, like like actually, like 403 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 1: it doesn't sound like OP. It sounds like OP was 404 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: like being very supportive. But I don't know if he 405 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: was actually saying like, hey, dude, you're not you're you're 406 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,639 Speaker 1: doing something wrong here. 407 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 2: He should have been like if you I want to 408 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 2: give you a chance, but if you keep going down 409 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 2: this route, like I don't, like, yeah, I don't know 410 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 2: if we can be together, but like I'm here's my 411 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,679 Speaker 2: honest feelings. 412 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 1: If you're able to change, you know, that's that's fine 413 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: with me. 414 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 2: But like we gotta we gotta fix this, but no, 415 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 2: he was just like wedding over, good night, good night. 416 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 1: Thank you to everyone for your responses and it. Thank 417 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 1: you everyone for your responses and input. 418 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 2: Well let's gip that to those asking, yes, I got 419 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,640 Speaker 2: the ring back again, Thank god, Thank you to everyone. 420 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 2: I will not be responding to any more comments, and 421 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,160 Speaker 2: I'm going to take some time from myself and get 422 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 2: this crap figured out. 423 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: Oh dude, and that's rough, like ending a freaking relationship 424 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 1: like that. I mean, that's tough. 425 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,160 Speaker 2: But not only are you ending I guess, I guess 426 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 2: ending any engagement and engagement engagement engagements. 427 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: That's likely lives together. And then it's like, ah, yeah, 428 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good, but it's crazy like a ton 429 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 1: of engagements get broken off. 430 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,160 Speaker 2: Oh really, I mean that makes a lot of sense. 431 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 2: I've never I guess I've never thought. I just think 432 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 2: about like marriage and like, uh, like non engaged relationships. 433 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,640 Speaker 1: Now, I never engagements are fairly long, like a year 434 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,920 Speaker 1: or two or more. Interesting. Okay, I'm looking to see 435 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 1: if I want to know how much they're making. I'm 436 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 1: saying that, can we like search or something. 437 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 2: I know some of what she spends on eating out 438 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 2: for lunch, different hair slash, skin products, accessory for a car, 439 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 2: house to core, pretty much anything she feels she needs 440 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:52,479 Speaker 2: to have. 441 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: Right then, I mean she she must she must be going. 442 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,959 Speaker 1: She must be going a sugarfish every night or something like, 443 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,439 Speaker 1: like she really spent that. It's like I I go 444 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:06,160 Speaker 1: out to Chipotle almost every day these days because big spender. 445 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 1: Now that John and I are bringing into big, big, 446 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: big baller, and fifty percent of the time, you know 447 00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 1: that your boy gets squawk the I'm having so much 448 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,120 Speaker 1: this money, bro, you need some you need some money. 449 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:29,360 Speaker 1: There's somebody whoa there we go. I'm never. I was like, oh, 450 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: just a positive back, no show. Never, just like, Don's 451 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 1: gonna everyone's gonna think John's like a truck dealer or something. 452 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 2: Gonna find my apartment and rob me for thirty dollars, 453 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 2: put him 454 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,400 Speaker 1: In the air, get up, and then you're like, all right, Chuck, 455 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,680 Speaker 1: all right, that's wrap, folks, see you next time.