Speaker 1: But we were just like, fuck this holiday, man's holiday makes.
Speaker 2: People feel bad. I don't like it all the commercialism.
Speaker 1: I think some damn expensive this day. Like we had
Speaker 1: that attitude for a long time. More more, better, more better, more.
Speaker 3: Better more.
Speaker 1: Hello. Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop
Speaker 1: pretending to have it all together and embrace the journey
Speaker 1: becoming a little more better every day, or at least
Speaker 1: trying to. That's that. Oh oh and I'm Who'm Stephanie Beatrice. Nice,
Speaker 1: nicely done. Welcome back to the podcast. Guys. How's it going,
Speaker 1: how's your morning drive, how's your brushing your teeth? How's
Speaker 1: your shower? What are you doing right now while you're
Speaker 1: listening to this? Maybe you're at work? So interesting to
Speaker 1: think about people sitting in a cubicle with ear buds in,
Speaker 1: like listening while they like Yeah, because like when I
Speaker 1: did temp work, or like when I worked in a
Speaker 1: in an office, I was not We were not allowed
Speaker 1: to do that. Also, we were answering phones, so that
Speaker 1: would have been weird too, write you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like there weren't. Also, I'm aging myself like we didn't
Speaker 1: really we didn't have Like we didn't have power buds
Speaker 1: buds Like I still remember the commercials with the silhouette
Speaker 1: and the white earbuds and everyone was like earbuds. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you can put them in your ear. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That is a high level of multitasking that I admire.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. Can you imagine processing information? No?
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine like acting doing like I watched
Speaker 1: them and I'm like, why are they doing this? I
Speaker 1: guess they're just faking it. I didn't even know that
Speaker 1: until Okay, what have I done my day? That's more better?
Speaker 1: What have I You know what I'm gonna say, I
Speaker 1: am in a little bit of a more better draught,
Speaker 1: just getting just getting through it, you know, like super
Speaker 1: busy with the job, flying back and forth. How are
Speaker 1: you feeling about the job? About that? I mean just
Speaker 1: in Johnny, Yeah, because you weren't feeling good. Oh you know,
Speaker 1: I got her so sick after that recording and then
Speaker 1: is it gone? Now? Wait ye to get anual virus?
Speaker 1: Did you peek your pants? No? I did not put
Speaker 1: my pants, but I felt like towards the end of
Speaker 1: that recording, I did start to feel like a little
Speaker 1: Remember I was putting my robe on and off. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was like, am I getting the Am I
Speaker 1: getting caught and cold? Oh? No? And then I was exhausted,
Speaker 1: slugging through like packing to come back to LA and
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to go to bed. I
Speaker 1: have to go to bed. I have to go to bed.
Speaker 1: And I laid down, passed out in two seconds, and
Speaker 1: then I woke up at four in the morning. Then
Speaker 1: I drenched in sweat. No, but I drenched and sweat
Speaker 1: better sweated it out. I think I sweated it out.
Speaker 1: So I think little House on the Prairie sweated the fever.
Speaker 1: So I appreciate you carry I meant to text you earlier.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you carrying me through because I looking back,
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think I talked that much,
Speaker 1: not me not noticing. Oh no. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: maybe it's in my head. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but like,
Speaker 1: I mean, we'll see when we listened to it. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh I think I might have been
Speaker 1: a little quiet. Oh shit, like Steph had to do
Speaker 1: some heavy lifting because I yeah, I was like feeling
Speaker 1: slightly worse as we went along, and then bad that night. Bad.
Speaker 1: Do you feel okay now? Though, do you feel Here's
Speaker 1: the thing. I woke up and I felt fine. I
Speaker 1: did sleep on the whole plane ride home, but like,
Speaker 1: I feel fine. I don't even feel like I have
Speaker 1: a cold, Like it was weird. So you're not doing
Speaker 1: anything that's more better, but you are more better. Sorry,
Speaker 1: so stupid. I'm embarrassed for myself on that one. Get out.
Speaker 1: What have you been doing lately that's more better? Girl?
Speaker 1: I'm getting dressed, Like, yeah, drapetis to wear my pajamas
Speaker 1: the entire day. Yep, I'm not shooting anything right now,
Speaker 1: so I just am. I love to wear my gym jams, like,
Speaker 1: I will straight up get in my jimmies, like as
Speaker 1: soon as I can. If I can bring my jammis
Speaker 1: to dinner, I will. So like problem with this is
Speaker 1: that like my kids like why are you dressed? Where
Speaker 1: are you going? And I'm like, oh no, I have
Speaker 1: to teach her that we like actually get dressed to
Speaker 1: get dressed. So I'm getting dressed. I'm like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: also starting to call my home clothes because I feel
Speaker 1: like my home clothes are a mishmash of disgusting, like
Speaker 1: and I don't feel good in them, so I want
Speaker 1: home clothes that are like the mix of comfy and cute,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I want like, I want
Speaker 1: stuff that I'm not going to be embarrassed to run
Speaker 1: to the drug store, you know what I mean, like
Speaker 1: someone's going to be shopping for some leisure wear. I'm
Speaker 1: really trying to uh restrain myself from shopping as much
Speaker 1: as possible unless I'm vantage. I'm really trying unless it's
Speaker 1: a thrift or vintage, because okay, I feel like we
Speaker 1: could pick up some good comfies at a thrift store.
Speaker 1: I think there's quite a bit of I mean this
Speaker 1: shirt that I'm wearing right now, the sparts Yeah, who
Speaker 1: knows sirk or what. I don't even know. It's real
Speaker 1: cute date on it nineteen ninety. Yeah this shut is
Speaker 1: the shirt was made in nineteen ninety, you guys. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what's going on with me. I'm getting dressed and
Speaker 1: getting dressed from my day and making sure that I
Speaker 1: look okay, deecee and happy, feel comfy, and feel cute
Speaker 1: at home. I love that. So then I'm not, you know,
Speaker 1: wearing the one pair of sweatpants that my husband absolutely hates.
Speaker 1: I refuse to throw them out. Also, they're really great.
Speaker 1: He is just like, you know those those there was
Speaker 1: this there was this pair of gray sweatshorts that he
Speaker 1: had during the pandemic and I made him burn them
Speaker 1: like actually, like you actually set them on fire, like
Speaker 1: set them on fire. Amazing. And then he was like,
Speaker 1: you know those gray sweatpants that you have? That the
Speaker 1: way I feel about those. I was like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't care, Like that's your problem. That's not my problem.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a problem, sorry about it. It was like, wait,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that way.
Speaker 3: Option as a reply back in the sweatshirt sweatshort days
Speaker 3: whoops and today's episode, we're talking about a romance, so.
Speaker 1: You know, listen was it Did it feel a little
Speaker 1: romantic when you set those shorts on fire? He set
Speaker 1: them on fire and it was romantic actually, And he
Speaker 1: showed me a video of it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: wow that there was connection there was yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 1: you know what we're going to talk about. You know,
Speaker 1: it's basically the same connection that most Feratu and what's
Speaker 1: your face have in that movie. I mean it's like
Speaker 1: I haven't seen a connection of him burning his listen,
Speaker 1: I have a lot of thoughts about it. I I
Speaker 1: want to he was fascinated by Dave Eggers and his
Speaker 1: interesting foray into female sexuality and what he thinks about it.
Speaker 1: I would just love to sit down with him at
Speaker 1: some point and be like, what's going on in that
Speaker 1: big brain ears? Because like, I've seen The Witch and
Speaker 1: I loved it. I've seen Now, I've seen No Saratu.
Speaker 1: I'd like to see some of his work that isn't
Speaker 1: about female sexuality and sort of hair. I think those specifically,
Speaker 1: those two works are about female sexuality, and I'm very
Speaker 1: fascinated about what he thinks about women and female sexuality,
Speaker 1: especially in young women that are just kind of coming
Speaker 1: into their own power, and whether or not they have
Speaker 1: agency on their own or if they're an agent of
Speaker 1: agency for men around them more better. Anyway, that's not
Speaker 1: what this podcast is about. Romans, baby, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: When we start talking about doing this episode, I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I don't think of myself as
Speaker 1: a particularly romantic person, Like, so do you not really? No?
Speaker 1: I think I don't know. I've seen pictures of your wedding.
Speaker 1: It was like, really, although my male is very beautiful
Speaker 1: as well. Your wedding was also very beautiful and very romantic.
Speaker 1: It was romantic. It was you got married in the
Speaker 1: fucking round, do you Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I think getting
Speaker 1: married in the rest theater mode. It is a true
Speaker 1: theater nerd. Everyone has to have a good seat. But
Speaker 1: also it's incredibly romantic because you're like literally surrounded by
Speaker 1: all these people that love you. Yeah, well you like
Speaker 1: say your vows. Oh my god, it's like dramatic and
Speaker 1: romantic and like also remember our vows were like ten
Speaker 1: minutes long. Like we didn't say anything. I I don't
Speaker 1: have a no, I don't have a memory of them
Speaker 1: being short. I have ton of them being really like
Speaker 1: beautiful and sweet. We wrote stuff for our efficients to say,
Speaker 1: We wrote stuff. We each like helped them write stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, And they spoke and then it was like, okay, Brad,
Speaker 1: do you take.
Speaker 3: And the whole maybe that's everybody's like, oh shit, are
Speaker 3: we already here?
Speaker 1: We're about to start partying, you know what. We did
Speaker 1: the same thing because it was so nice because my
Speaker 1: husband is, even though he's an actor, he's very shy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I remember when we were planning the wedding,
Speaker 1: and I was like, do you want to? Like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was like so young and I So what I
Speaker 1: was going to say was, I think when I was younger,
Speaker 1: I was kind of a hopeless romantic, like the more
Speaker 1: into the like I think, more typical cliche, superficial, superficial
Speaker 1: versions of romance. Right, So I when we were planning
Speaker 1: our wedding, I was like, oh my god, do you
Speaker 1: want to like write our own vowels? Like so into it?
Speaker 1: Wanting him to say yes, and he the look on
Speaker 1: his face was just like I will die. We're having
Speaker 1: a staruge wedding.
Speaker 3: I cannot pour my hot heart out in front of
Speaker 3: all those people.
Speaker 1: You wanted him to secretly be like, actually, yes, I've
Speaker 1: written fifteen pages of my one hundred percent one hundred
Speaker 1: percent And then I was like, oh, I have to
Speaker 1: respect that, Like I can't force him to do something
Speaker 1: that feels so vulnerabile and private in front of like
Speaker 1: we had like amost three hundred people at all same Yeah,
Speaker 1: like for the three hundred and fifty our closest friends, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you loved me, you know what I mean? So yeah,
Speaker 1: kudos to the ones that do I I have cried it.
Speaker 1: I know a wedding that I've been to where they've
Speaker 1: done that. But for us, yeah, we did the same thing.
Speaker 1: We like wrote out what we wanted our efficient to say, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then we just said I do, which worked, which
Speaker 1: is like nice like in between yeah, yeah. I mean,
Speaker 1: when I think about romance, I definitely had a different
Speaker 1: idea of what it was supposed to be when I was,
Speaker 1: you know, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, into my twenties, into my thirties.
Speaker 1: I feel like romance changes dramatically after you have children.
Speaker 1: But for the purposes of this conversation, breaking it down
Speaker 1: into like when I was sixteen, the most romantic thing
Speaker 1: in the world was like, you know, I'm saying a
Speaker 1: song here, I mean you were pardon and when when
Speaker 1: they like yell at each other across but we're talking
Speaker 1: about Forrest Gump. You guys, there's this part where Jenny
Speaker 1: and Forrest run at each other across the Washington mall right, Yes,
Speaker 1: they're running across the water. Yes, and you're here and
Speaker 1: she's like in her little hippie outfit and he's in
Speaker 1: his like soldier al and it's the most beautiful, huge
Speaker 1: grand gesture The grand gesture was everything when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, you know, because you'd see it in movies
Speaker 1: and you'd go, oh, that's what that's what romance is.
Speaker 1: If somebody loves you, they do these big grand gestures
Speaker 1: for you. Yes. And then somewhere along the way, I
Speaker 1: kind of realized that it wasn't necessarily about the grand gesture,
Speaker 1: and so I think I reverted to the absolute opposite,
Speaker 1: which was like, I'm a cool girl. I don't need
Speaker 1: a romantic gesture. In fact, I don't need any romance
Speaker 1: at all. Like I remember specifically dating someone who I
Speaker 1: should have known it was a red flag, but like
Speaker 1: he really didn't want to be public about our relationship.
Speaker 1: Oh read like he felt kind of more calm about it.
Speaker 1: I don't even know, you know, I think he just
Speaker 1: wanted to have it on the down low, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh. And to me, what was so romantic was
Speaker 1: the stealing glances at each other, you know, like sneaking around, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: which is kind of heightened and sexy in a way,
Speaker 1: but it's not romantic, I don't think, you know, Like, ultimately,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of romance that comes with honesty and vulnerability. Yes,
Speaker 1: somebody that you really love and trust, and when ye
Speaker 1: being sneaky and nobody knows about you being his little
Speaker 1: you know whatever, then they can get away with a
Speaker 1: lot of shit. And like, yeah, I think young like
Speaker 1: young me almost went the opposite direction from what I
Speaker 1: was this romantic I guess in you know, high school,
Speaker 1: where I wanted these big grand gestures and was basing
Speaker 1: everything off of every movie that I was seeing, And
Speaker 1: I went the opposite in my twenties where it was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: definitely treat me like garbage. I am such a cool
Speaker 1: girl and I don't care, you know, Yeah, that's we
Speaker 1: want to like split the dif we want to be
Speaker 1: in the middle. You can't. First of all, you can't
Speaker 1: let anybody treat like garbage, period, But particularly in a
Speaker 1: romantic relationship, it's like if you're constantly feeling like shit,
Speaker 1: that's the other thing. Remember those I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've ever had one, but like those super volatile relationships
Speaker 1: where people are just like everything is like a big
Speaker 1: fight and everything is like life and death. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like people are like I hate growing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's also not I know it's and then you involve
Speaker 1: alcohol and like, oh my god. When I was in
Speaker 1: my twenties, I was dating someone significantly older than me,
Speaker 1: and he had a bunch of friends that were older
Speaker 1: than me too, and so they were in their late
Speaker 1: twenties and I was in my really early twenties. And
Speaker 1: I remember we went out to dinner with them or something.
Speaker 1: It was like a holiday or something. Everyone got ripped
Speaker 1: at dinner, just ripped. And the one of the couples
Speaker 1: that we were with was one of those really vollattle couples.
Speaker 1: And they were screaming at each other in Times Square
Speaker 1: on the street in front of Do you remember Bluefin? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So they were screaming at each other outside of Blue Fin.
Speaker 1: And I can't remember the guy's name, but the girl's
Speaker 1: name was Liz, and he was like, Liz, I love
Speaker 1: you more than my life. You fucking wore It was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I couldn't. I was like, were you,
Speaker 1: Like that's what real passion looks like. I remember like this,
Speaker 1: these people are fucked up. Any new friends, like this
Speaker 1: is not my friend group. This cannot be my friend group. No, no,
Speaker 1: m mmmm no, no, no, no, ma'am, no, no, thank you.
Speaker 1: Did you ever have a Volletle, like this is romance.
Speaker 1: Oh smarter than that always? I mean, I know, I
Speaker 1: don't think I was smarter. I think I was just lucky.
Speaker 1: I think my I think the guy that I dated
Speaker 1: in high school was like a really good boyfriend, really
Speaker 1: sweet and like set me up for success, you know,
Speaker 1: like mine too. I think when the first one is
Speaker 1: like really good, you always are comparing a little bit
Speaker 1: and and it just it just gives you like a
Speaker 1: like a framework going forward where you're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: that guy's a douche, like, you know, because you know
Speaker 1: what it's like to be treated really well. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: I think I was just lucky. But I did like
Speaker 1: have a sort of toxic relationship in college and it
Speaker 1: was name but it made name. But you know, it
Speaker 1: wasn't ever volatile or that kind of thing. It was
Speaker 1: more just you know, micro aggressions and you know, that
Speaker 1: kind of thing and not growing like together. I think
Speaker 1: that was always like a big one. But but yeah,
Speaker 1: I I you know, I also like met David so
Speaker 1: so young. Right when you meet David, you were like
Speaker 1: I was like twenty two. What I know? That is right?
Speaker 1: They It's crazy. I look back and I'm like girl,
Speaker 1: what were you thinking? You were like, snatch him up,
Speaker 1: snatch him up. And I remember when we first started
Speaker 1: dating too, that, like, you know, there were sort of
Speaker 1: the romantic things that he did that that later I
Speaker 1: was like, you don't do romantic shit anymore, but it
Speaker 1: was like, no, they just like changed in evault. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean. Like we first started dating,
Speaker 1: he used to because he wakes up early and I
Speaker 1: do not. And that's still true to this day. He
Speaker 1: would walk to the dunkin Donuts and get his coffee
Speaker 1: every morning. And I just saw and I was like,
Speaker 1: that is the roast romantic thing. It is it as
Speaker 1: somebody whose husband makes for coffee every day, it is
Speaker 1: one of the most romantic things in the life. And
Speaker 1: that is that he still makes coffee every day. Like yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's like but for a minute, I was like,
Speaker 1: but he's not going outside, he's not walking down the
Speaker 1: block order all that extra effort is. He's not in
Speaker 1: his room getting up, He's just fucking walk into the
Speaker 1: kitchen and making some coffee. Like I was like, no,
Speaker 1: that's those are the same things that the thought is there,
Speaker 1: The intention is the same there there, and he would
Speaker 1: if he had to, you know what I mean, he
Speaker 1: would if he had to, Yes, yeah, but but he did. Uh.
Speaker 1: So when we first started dating, I had this I
Speaker 1: painted remember when like painting one wall was really popular.
Speaker 1: My god, yes, the one red wall. I had one
Speaker 1: red wall. Yes, yes, it was like a dark red. Yes.
Speaker 1: I thought it was so fucking cool. And then I
Speaker 1: remember David being like, what's up with the red wall?
Speaker 1: Like just like I'm just curious, like what it's gonna
Speaker 1: really last? Like, yeah, what's going on with your And
Speaker 1: I was like, isn't it great?
Speaker 3: And he was like, as I've said many times on
Speaker 3: this pod, my husband has much better taste than I do.
Speaker 1: And so, uh, this is probably one of the most
Speaker 1: romantic things he ever did for me, and I think
Speaker 1: was the first thing that started to shift how I
Speaker 1: defined like what romance can be or look like. He
Speaker 1: did like a home makeover on my room and surprised
Speaker 1: me with it, so like, he painted the whole room,
Speaker 1: He got rid of the red wall, painted the whole
Speaker 1: room this like beautiful soft green color, like a sagey green.
Speaker 1: He got me a new bedspread, he rearranged the furniture
Speaker 1: so like the room looked bigger, and like did painted
Speaker 1: the base boards like you know, full thing, And I
Speaker 1: just had no idea he was doing it and just
Speaker 1: came home to this like brand new bedroom that was beautiful.
Speaker 1: I would be fucking livid. How dare you? I mean,
Speaker 1: but we're very different, We're very different people. I would
Speaker 1: be fucking livid. But you have really good taste, is
Speaker 1: so yeah, I don't, and it's not true, but I
Speaker 1: can see that. That's like it looked arguably obviously better
Speaker 1: than it did before. I guess you. I give it.
Speaker 1: There was no argument that what it was before it
Speaker 1: was a heinous and it now looked like a beautiful,
Speaker 1: calm bedroom, like just gorgeous. Yeah, and I guess I had.
Speaker 1: And I also was like, oh everyone, no one's like
Speaker 1: you spent all day painting this for me, Like it's
Speaker 1: a big deal. No one's ever done that, you know.
Speaker 1: And so it was like this idea that romance was
Speaker 1: like flowers and fancy dinnas and like rose petals. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh no, it's actually like so it's just
Speaker 1: doing something nice for someone love, Like it can be
Speaker 1: big like that, but it can also just be small,
Speaker 1: like it's about connection. It's about you know, it just
Speaker 1: I felt myself like start to shift my definition to
Speaker 1: what romance was because he was paying attention. He was
Speaker 1: paying attention, he was paying attention, yes, and he was
Speaker 1: seen like yeah, he was seeing like, oh, she's these
Speaker 1: are her strengths, and like maybe this is something that
Speaker 1: she's not she doesn't think about because she's not doesn't
Speaker 1: it's not something that she's like drawn to thinking about.
Speaker 1: But I know that I could help her feel better
Speaker 1: in her space or whatever whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: really I mean, I think Brad is a lot like
Speaker 1: David in the way that he often does things to
Speaker 1: make my life easier that I just don't have the
Speaker 1: capability of doing, like laundry, Like I'm just like I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm like it will pile and pile and pile and
Speaker 1: pile until I'm like, oh no, I guess I need
Speaker 1: to buy any underwear because I don't have anymore and
Speaker 1: I don't have time. Like I know, David'll be David'll
Speaker 1: be doing laundry and I'm like already and a ready
Speaker 1: yeah man, yeah, Brad will do it every day every day.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Wow, you're amazing, You're so amazing. And I
Speaker 1: just and I sometimes feel bad because you know, I
Speaker 1: don't always notice. Like he'll be like, did you notice
Speaker 1: the blah blah blah, and I'm like, I didn't, I
Speaker 1: didn't notice. Yeah, thank you. And I have told him,
Speaker 1: you know, tell me when you do stuff like that,
Speaker 1: because I don't always notice. I'm just like kind of
Speaker 1: focused on whatever I'm doing at the time. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: a million things going on. Four What would you say
Speaker 1: is like, uh, the biggest kind of romantic thing in
Speaker 1: your It doesn't have to be like so he's done anyone,
Speaker 1: it better be him. I mean I thought about that
Speaker 1: before we did this. I was like, what if I
Speaker 1: got on here and was like these poems that my
Speaker 1: boyfriend when I was twenty four, actually I was thinking
Speaker 1: about that. I dated a guy who was very very
Speaker 1: He was a total romantic. He was a like renaissance man.
Speaker 1: He was an actor, he was the singer, he was
Speaker 1: a writer, he played guitar. He was very very like.
Speaker 1: He was a poet and he wrote me a lack
Speaker 1: of poems. A stabs. Someone wrote you poetry and they
Speaker 1: gave me. I got the egg on the poetry. I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, the third poem man. I was like, bro, okay,
Speaker 1: my body is the Wonderland. I get it. But it
Speaker 1: did give me the egg. And I don't know, I
Speaker 1: see it was like the time or the person or
Speaker 1: what it was, because you know, when Brad read his
Speaker 1: vows to me, it just meant so much to me
Speaker 1: because he had never written really anything like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: or to me. I don't know. I mean maybe it
Speaker 1: was just it was also like me being you know,
Speaker 1: probably smart enough at the time, and my intuition was
Speaker 1: smart enough to know, like it could have been anyone,
Speaker 1: Like he could have been romantic with anybody. You could
Speaker 1: have plugged another woman right into my spot and he
Speaker 1: would have written her the same kind of of poems,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, right, Like sometimes somebody it's
Speaker 1: some it's just someone's soul that is full of romance
Speaker 1: and they just got to express it and that's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it just didn't dan't boom from my you know,
Speaker 1: like you were like maybe totally about me, yeah, like,
Speaker 1: and some of it was way too specifically about me,
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, no, I don't need you
Speaker 1: to write that, don't ever. I don't I don't really
Speaker 1: need to know what you think about that. Yeah, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you remember, like once I one of the most romantic things,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't like an outwardly romantic move. But I
Speaker 1: used to save things from my relationships because you know,
Speaker 1: somebody writes you poems and it's like, that's so beautiful, right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But when I fell in love with Brad after a while,
Speaker 1: and it was maybe before we were it was before
Speaker 1: we were engaged anything, but I remember going through my
Speaker 1: keepsafe boxes for some reason, I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can get rid of all these things. I don't need
Speaker 1: these yours anymore. I don't need these ornaments that you know,
Speaker 1: have a picture of me and another person. And I
Speaker 1: was like, somebody make you ornaments, girl. I made the
Speaker 1: ornaments which will tell you about that relationship, you know.
Speaker 1: I was like, I love me, but like, but I
Speaker 1: threw away all that stuff, Like I threw away all
Speaker 1: the cards and letters and things from the past because
Speaker 1: like to me, and it's just specific to me, but
Speaker 1: like to me, I didn't need them anymore because I
Speaker 1: had found the person that I wanted to be to
Speaker 1: have those expressions with, and I didn't need to look
Speaker 1: back anymore. The memories were enough kind of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: to save the stack of poems. It gave me the eck.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. What are your What are your
Speaker 1: thoughts on Valentine's Day? I personally really like Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: I hate that it makes everything so expensive. Yes, it's
Speaker 1: annoying that, you know, everyone's trying to outdo each other
Speaker 1: and stuff. One of the most romantic things I ever
Speaker 1: did for Brad was when we first started dating. I
Speaker 1: got him a bouquet of meat. It was like sausages.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is amazing it that is up
Speaker 1: his alley. Yeah. He's a big he loves food. He
Speaker 1: loves like eating and you know, speaking of like that
Speaker 1: was one of the most romantic moments ever that I've
Speaker 1: ever had with anyone. Was the two of us on
Speaker 1: our honeymoon in Japan eating at this really really special
Speaker 1: pizza place. And I don't think it's open anymore, but
Speaker 1: it was this chef who all he made was like
Speaker 1: three different kinds of pizza. Is kind of like a
Speaker 1: sushi chef, you know, like that's what he did, and
Speaker 1: they were so perfect and so good. And while we
Speaker 1: were sitting there, he made us like a special pizza
Speaker 1: and we were like in our cups, you know, like
Speaker 1: drinking whiskey, like highballs and stuff. And one of the
Speaker 1: reasons it was so romantic was because before I met Brad,
Speaker 1: I had really hard time with my body image and food. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he really was the first person that I was
Speaker 1: with that really opened the opened my mind to like
Speaker 1: you can enjoy food and not like close yourself off
Speaker 1: to the joy of eating and the joy of celebrating
Speaker 1: through food and doesn't have to be this thing that
Speaker 1: you're battling and fighting all the time, and like you
Speaker 1: can have pizza and be happy. And like I remember
Speaker 1: being like real drunk, but like you know, eating our
Speaker 1: for pizza on our honeymoon and like crying and being like.
Speaker 3: I just never thought I would feel like this, and
Speaker 3: you made me like see this about myself and.
Speaker 1: It's so beautiful, Like I'll never forget it. I know,
Speaker 1: I'll never forget it. So dinky and dumb, just like
Speaker 1: the two of us, like no pizza, so special and
Speaker 1: it is it's so romantic, and that is it was.
Speaker 1: It was very romantic and it was really special because
Speaker 1: it's like he like he changed my life in that way,
Speaker 1: like you change my life in that way. I know,
Speaker 1: you guys are so good at going out to dinners
Speaker 1: and like he loves to go out, so that's yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I love that. Yeah, anytime I need a review
Speaker 1: in a new restaurant, I just have to ask you.
Speaker 1: Let us know we're out of I mean, like to
Speaker 1: be fair. We also my sister lives so close by
Speaker 1: that like we have babysitter, like right right, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have a babysitter that's like almost on call because
Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, hang out with my niece. I would
Speaker 1: love to. Yeah yeah, yeah that's huge, Yeah for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not everybody has that. Yeah what about you? What's like
Speaker 1: the most like romantic thing you've ever done for slash
Speaker 1: has been done for you or I guess, like what's
Speaker 1: like a really like beautiful romantic moment that you've had.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be a Valentine's moment? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: you know. We actually, uh, we kind of hate Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day until until recently because the first few years that
Speaker 1: we were dating, pretty much all of our close friends
Speaker 1: were single and we hated that there was this day
Speaker 1: that kind of made them feel crummy, left out, yeah,
Speaker 1: and left out and so we would like sometimes try
Speaker 1: to hang out with our friends and like do more
Speaker 1: of a friend thing. And this is like before Gallentine's
Speaker 1: Day was a thing, and but we were just like
Speaker 1: fuck this holiday.
Speaker 2: Man, So it makes people feel bad. You don't like
Speaker 2: it all the commercialism. I think some damn expensive this day.
Speaker 2: Like we had that attitude for a long time.
Speaker 3: And then.
Speaker 1: Axel was born on Valentine's Day and so so now
Speaker 1: we love it. But it's got a different you know
Speaker 1: thing for us. But we do like for his birthday,
Speaker 1: we decorate with hearts, and we like really lean into
Speaker 1: the Valentine's Day of it all, which he loves and
Speaker 1: he like loves at his birthdays on a holiday, and
Speaker 1: so we have this different relationship. I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: a romantic thing. Oh you know what, there was one
Speaker 1: year I think it might have been an anniversary or something,
Speaker 1: and it was like we both kind of forgot to
Speaker 1: the last minute that it was anniversary and we were
Speaker 1: really busy and we didn't have a child care you know,
Speaker 1: like no babysitter available, and so I ended up ordering
Speaker 1: food from Petitois. Oh so ordering all this like French
Speaker 1: food because we both really love French food and lighting
Speaker 1: a fire, and after he put the kids to bed,
Speaker 1: we just literally sat on the floor like around our
Speaker 1: coffee table in front of the fire and just ate
Speaker 1: food and drank wine and like talked and he was
Speaker 1: like I love like, thank you so much. I love this.
Speaker 1: This is so nice. And I was like, oh, this
Speaker 1: it doesn't again going back to like it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be a grand gesture. It doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: a huge thing. Like it was so meaningful to him,
Speaker 1: and it was like a beautiful way to spend an anniversary.
Speaker 1: Like it was beautiful. It was so nice. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: loved it, and we talked about it for years. We
Speaker 1: would be like remember that.
Speaker 3: Time, like you know, and then you get busy and
Speaker 3: you're like we should do that again, Like, yeah, we
Speaker 3: should do that.
Speaker 1: We should do that again. That's also like that's the
Speaker 1: kind of stuff that you especially when you have a
Speaker 1: busy life. And this is anybody, but like especially when
Speaker 1: you have a busy life and your things are hectic
Speaker 1: and you're under a lot of stress, it's like taking
Speaker 1: a little time aside for yourself in that way, And like,
Speaker 1: I guess that's why I like Valentine's day because it's
Speaker 1: like do it on this day, you know, because right
Speaker 1: it kind of times forces it. Yeah, you just like
Speaker 1: forget to do it, or you'll do it later, or
Speaker 1: you'll do it later, and you'll do it later and
Speaker 1: like yeah, and then later doesn't come or you don't
Speaker 1: get a chance to or things get busier, and like
Speaker 1: you keep putting it off, and suddenly it's like you're
Speaker 1: looking at this person that you love and you're going
Speaker 1: don't feel like connected to and I don't know why
Speaker 1: I love you, but I get to see you all
Speaker 1: the time or whatever it is, you know. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that's ultimately like what all romance is
Speaker 1: is just like connecting reconnecting, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like it can just be a random fun day at
Speaker 1: the beach and it's a romantic like culture. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's you know, it's important to I think, remind
Speaker 1: ourselves to not go too long without those little moments
Speaker 1: and that they don't have to be big. They can
Speaker 1: be really tiny too. On the flip side, I will say,
Speaker 1: I will say, especially when I'm working a lot, yeah
Speaker 1: I do need not necessarily a romantic gesture, but I
Speaker 1: guess what I need is like, like, I I'm not
Speaker 1: in a space to be thinking about romance most of
Speaker 1: the time while working, you know, I'm like so in
Speaker 1: it and the hours are long and I'm in it,
Speaker 1: in it, and so when I come home, I'm just
Speaker 1: like I washed my face, I take a shower. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: in bed, studying lines or whatever. And so when I have,
Speaker 1: you know, multiple weeks in a row like that and
Speaker 1: there's no break or something. Brad planned when we were
Speaker 1: in Toronto, he planned a surprise for me and he
Speaker 1: was like, get in the car, We're going somewhere this Saturday.
Speaker 1: And I was like okay, And we ended up going
Speaker 1: to the Four Seasons and he had like booked me
Speaker 1: a massage and I was like, this is amazing. And
Speaker 1: I had the massage and it was so nice and
Speaker 1: like my body was all beat up from the show
Speaker 1: and like and then after the massage, I went to
Speaker 1: go you know, he was like, just meet me after
Speaker 1: and then you know, we can pay and go back
Speaker 1: home and like I go to the counter to pay
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, this is for you, and it's
Speaker 1: a room key and like he'd got us a room
Speaker 1: there with our credit card points because Brad, it's very smart.
Speaker 1: That allowed us to have some time to like drinks
Speaker 1: at their rooftop bar. And it was like it was
Speaker 1: really nice because we didn't we hadn't done anything like
Speaker 1: that in that way months. You know, good job, Brad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's really he really like thinks about Yeah, really tries
Speaker 1: really hard and romantic and romantic. Yeah, that's very romantic.
Speaker 1: I think it's necessary too. However, it's showing up in
Speaker 1: your relationship. It definitely is something that like falls by
Speaker 1: the wayside a lot, because very easy to fall by
Speaker 1: the way. It's very easy to fall by the wayside.
Speaker 1: At this turned into like very much like you know,
Speaker 1: how how much more of it I actually have in
Speaker 1: my life than I think? Because I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't have any that's what you do,
Speaker 1: that's true, Yeah, I do more better? Do you feel
Speaker 1: a little more better than about romance? And when we started, Oh,
Speaker 1: I actually think I'm like kind of no, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be like I'm nailing it, but I'm I'm certainly
Speaker 1: doing better than you thought. Yeah, this is the thing
Speaker 1: about like talking about this stuff on this podcast because
Speaker 1: and I hope this is what people get out of
Speaker 1: it too. It's like most of the time we're usually
Speaker 1: doing more better than we thought. Yeah, you know, so true,
Speaker 1: and like that's the important thing we kind of get
Speaker 1: out of every episode is like just talking about it.
Speaker 1: It's almost like a check in and it's like, oh, wait,
Speaker 1: maybe it's not as bad as I thought. Like we're
Speaker 1: doing okay, it's failing areas, but I'm not failing. I'm
Speaker 1: not like totally failing at this. No, yeah, probably yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean listen same anyways, this is me announcing my
Speaker 1: divorce here on the thought that was a joke. That
Speaker 1: was joke joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke,
Speaker 1: joke joke. At you do you feel more better about this?
Speaker 1: But I do feel more better about this. And I
Speaker 1: also feel like this was a reminder to like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's been life has been hectic and chaotic and busy,
Speaker 1: and like we need we need to we need to
Speaker 1: do something soon. You should do that again, like just
Speaker 1: surprise him with like some kind of crazy ordering and
Speaker 1: don't yeah you're doing it. Yeah, like we need a
Speaker 1: little something. We're both like heads down. Get through the
Speaker 1: end of this season, he's solo parenting. I'm in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a lot, and so, like you said,
Speaker 1: you know, it falls by the wayside, especially when you're
Speaker 1: so busy. So this was a good like check in
Speaker 1: reminder for me. Yeah, Happy Valentine's Today, Happy Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: two those who celebrate. And also, if you hate it,
Speaker 1: that's great, that's great. We have no judgment about it
Speaker 1: because I also kind of hate it. We get it,
Speaker 1: except it's my son's birthday. I love that part of it,
Speaker 1: but the other part of it, I don't like. That
Speaker 1: part's cute. That part's cute. Okay, guys, we'll see you
Speaker 1: next week. See you next week, Bye bye, More Better.
Speaker 1: Do you have something you'd like to be more better
Speaker 1: at that you want us to talk about in a
Speaker 1: future episode. Can you relate to our struggles or have
Speaker 1: you tried one of our tippe tricks? Shoot us your
Speaker 1: thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at gmail dot com
Speaker 1: and include a voice note if you want to be
Speaker 1: featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better with Stephanie Melissa
Speaker 1: is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's Mikultura podcast network.
Speaker 1: Hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz and Melissa Fumero. More Better
Speaker 1: is produced by Isis Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our
Speaker 1: executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Klem at Wvsound.
Speaker 1: This episode was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by
Speaker 1: Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and
Speaker 1: hey Loo Boy. Our cover art is by Vincent Remis
Speaker 1: and photography by David Abolos. For more podcasts from iHeart,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows. See you next week. Suga bye
Speaker 1: mm hmmmm oo. Tokitomas Mayhor