Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
Speaker 2: Hi, greetings from down on DR.
Speaker 3: I'm currently in Australia, so it was very hard to
Speaker 3: find a good time for us to do an intro
Speaker 3: for this week's episode.
Speaker 1: I know, for you it is a very early morning
Speaker 1: and for me it's late afternoon.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: It's funny though, no matter where I travel, I wake.
Speaker 3: Up at six am every day, so it's almost like
Speaker 3: time zones Stone Execs.
Speaker 5: Although I do go to For the first three days.
Speaker 3: In New Zealand, I went to bed at six thirty
Speaker 3: and then luckily I had a show, so I had
Speaker 3: to fucking stay up because I had to perform.
Speaker 1: So we had a show and I got you up
Speaker 1: in Adam.
Speaker 6: Huh.
Speaker 2: Yeah. We were in New Zealand for three days.
Speaker 3: With Auckland, which was gorgeous. I'm with my cousin Molly,
Speaker 3: who you know, yes, and she and I went to beaches,
Speaker 3: black Sand Beaches.
Speaker 2: We did a bunch of touristy stuff.
Speaker 3: And then we went to Wellington, New Zealand, which was
Speaker 3: really cute and like kind of an artsy kind of city.
Speaker 2: I'd never been there, and then that was home to
Speaker 2: Lord of the Rings.
Speaker 3: And even though we told my driver, our driver several
Speaker 3: times that we had absolutely no interest in Lord of
Speaker 3: the Rings, nor had we ever seen the movie.
Speaker 5: He took us to the Lord of the New Rings.
Speaker 3: Museum and before we knew it, we were holding swords
Speaker 3: and standing with those giant I don't know what those
Speaker 3: people are called.
Speaker 2: Are they, Toby Maire? I don't even know wizards. I
Speaker 2: don't understand what.
Speaker 5: You don't love a hobbit, Chelsey, Well, I do.
Speaker 3: I love, of course, I love the shape of a hobbit,
Speaker 3: But I don't love the backstory of a hobbit.
Speaker 2: No, you know, I like things rooted in reality.
Speaker 3: So we did that, and then we went to Melbourne
Speaker 3: and the shows have been so much fun.
Speaker 2: They've been so fun.
Speaker 3: The audiences have been great, and the openers are fun
Speaker 3: because it's all new people.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 3: And then I did a little radio and TV. I
Speaker 3: assaulted some television personality already. He made a bad joke
Speaker 3: and I had to ream him without I mean, I
Speaker 3: didn't have a chance.
Speaker 6: He didn't have a chance, actually, but I couldn't.
Speaker 2: Even he tried to interview me.
Speaker 3: I'm like, let's just back up to your personality and
Speaker 3: discuss that for a second.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, if there's one way to go viral
Speaker 1: down under, then you figured it out.
Speaker 3: Well, you know me, I'm always trying to go viral
Speaker 3: or get a virus.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't even catch one of those in
Speaker 1: New Zealand because they locked it all down.
Speaker 6: No, you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't get sick in New Zealand.
Speaker 3: However, somehow my cousin has an eye infection and she
Speaker 3: thinks that I'm a yeah, she has caught some sort
Speaker 3: of eye affection, which she's convinced she caught from me.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I.
Speaker 6: Don't have an eye infection, ha ha.
Speaker 2: She was wearing a mask around me for the first
Speaker 2: forty eight hours. She wouldn't take her.
Speaker 1: Mask off, and then she got it right in the eye. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then she got it right in the eye.
Speaker 2: So I was like, look who's now, Look who's got
Speaker 2: an affection?
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Yeah, I saw you're a very cute
Speaker 1: love letter on Instagram to Molly.
Speaker 6: Oh yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3: And then I did I did a video with all
Speaker 3: my supplements that I take on the road, and I
Speaker 3: got a lot of feedback about the different supplements I
Speaker 3: take and people thinking that I have an opioid addiction
Speaker 3: because I take low dose now trex alone, so apparently
Speaker 3: I'm addicted to heroin on top of everything.
Speaker 5: I mean, what am I gonna do next?
Speaker 3: I always knew you were the type I know, I
Speaker 3: know I was bound to happen at some point.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, Chelsea, we are very excited that you're coming
Speaker 1: home to us soon. But I hope that you have
Speaker 1: an awesome time in Australia for the next couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: But Chelsea, I know you've got some really big shows
Speaker 1: coming up.
Speaker 2: Yes, I have a huge show.
Speaker 3: It's the Santa Barbara Bowl which is August seventeenth that
Speaker 3: I want to promote.
Speaker 1: And then I have a.
Speaker 5: Big show at the Brooklyn Theater.
Speaker 2: The King's Theater, which is awesome. I'm doing that in
Speaker 2: Where am I doing that?
Speaker 6: Brooklyn?
Speaker 3: Oh, November eighth, I'm coming to Brooklyn, and then I
Speaker 3: want to promote.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm doing all sorts of cities in between.
Speaker 3: Then I'm coming to Hawaii for July nineteenth and twentieth,
Speaker 3: and then also my Vegas dates which starts September first
Speaker 3: in Vegas, and then I have November two and I
Speaker 3: have November thirtieth and then three more dates so in Vegas.
Speaker 5: But yes, check Chelsea Hammer dot com.
Speaker 3: Get your tickets now because I'm going to be shooting
Speaker 3: my special in December and then.
Speaker 5: This tour is over.
Speaker 1: Fabulous. I'm so excited. It's like always nice when people
Speaker 1: go to Vegas to perform, because you know, it's like
Speaker 1: sort of weirdly a central location that everybody goes to,
Speaker 1: so you just.
Speaker 5: Get to I know, the excitement around Vegas is very surprising.
Speaker 5: I'm very excited. I'm just going to turn every every.
Speaker 3: Show into a party and a good luck party because
Speaker 3: I'm in the When I'm in the casino, people win money.
Speaker 5: This has been proof in time and time again.
Speaker 1: Whenever I see those ads of you in the top hat,
Speaker 1: I start like lightly sweating. They're very hot. They're very
Speaker 1: very hot.
Speaker 6: Thank you.
Speaker 7: Okay, So our guests today.
Speaker 3: You know her from reporting and hosting on the Daily
Speaker 3: Show and as Honeybee on the Great North.
Speaker 2: And she's got a new book of essays called Hello Friends.
Speaker 5: Stories of Dating, Destiny and Day Jobs.
Speaker 7: Please welcome.
Speaker 5: Don't say Sloan, what's up mama?
Speaker 4: Hi?
Speaker 5: Do you know Catherine? This is my co host Catherine.
Speaker 6: Hi, Hi Catherine, nice to meet you.
Speaker 3: Likewise, I saw you at the Daily Show when I
Speaker 3: was hosting guest hosting for a week, and I've been
Speaker 3: watching you guest host, which you're fucking awesome. Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 3: That's a great gig now because you guys all get
Speaker 3: to host, right, yeah.
Speaker 6: They let us all guess we all take turns guests hosting,
Speaker 6: and so I'm like, yeah, okay, I gotta pay my mortgage.
Speaker 6: So come on, they'll go.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we all have to pay our mortgages. That's a
Speaker 5: very good point.
Speaker 3: I'll say, thank you for reminding our listeners pay your
Speaker 3: mortgages please. Okay, it's very important. How is it having
Speaker 3: John Stewart back?
Speaker 6: I can say I'm not there for the everyday, day
Speaker 6: to day, but I do know that it is interesting because,
Speaker 6: like I probably shouldn't say this, but who cares, there
Speaker 6: were some guys in the crew who never wore like
Speaker 6: every year they would give us new merch. That's say
Speaker 6: because I started with Trevor in twenty seventeen and there
Speaker 6: were crew guys who would never put on Trevor's merch.
Speaker 6: They would only wear John's old merch, to the point
Speaker 6: where We're just like, there was letters, so it was
Speaker 6: they a LEO would on uert and they would still
Speaker 6: be rocketed.
Speaker 3: So copy that, copy that, okay. So that's that's the
Speaker 3: major difference with John being back and okay, copy that.
Speaker 6: They can get new jackets with all the letters on it, basically.
Speaker 6: But I can say that everything feels more settled because
Speaker 6: when we had the guest hosts, it was like I
Speaker 6: don't know, we don't know, and you're just like, my
Speaker 6: check came this week and that's what it was. And
Speaker 6: it was a year and some change of that and
Speaker 6: then a strike. So with John being there, even him
Speaker 6: just being there on Mondays, everyone just seems a lot
Speaker 6: calmer in the building. I guess this is the worst
Speaker 6: way to describe it.
Speaker 3: Good good, that's fucking awesome. And congratulations on your new book.
Speaker 6: Thank you.
Speaker 5: It's called Hello.
Speaker 3: Friends, Stories of Dating, Destiny and Day Jobs.
Speaker 5: You've had a lot of fucked up jobs. I mean,
Speaker 5: if you survived.
Speaker 3: All that shit, you're kind of really well A, you're resilient,
Speaker 3: but you're almost indestructible.
Speaker 6: Well, here's the thing. If you speak Spanish, they'll let
Speaker 6: you answer anybody's phone. So I fresh out of college.
Speaker 6: I worked at some shady car lots, and then I
Speaker 6: managed a not at a body shop. And then I
Speaker 6: worked for a car insurance company, and I worked for
Speaker 6: a trash company, a power company. I used to house
Speaker 6: spanage for theater because I have a theater degree of
Speaker 6: acting degree.
Speaker 5: What don't you have? Don't say a husband.
Speaker 3: Name one thing you don't have besides a husband. Name
Speaker 3: one thing that you need that you don't have.
Speaker 6: Oo, a plane. I want a plane.
Speaker 1: I don't like.
Speaker 6: In fact, we're not allowed to say that. I want
Speaker 6: to play. I am tired to give a delta my coins.
Speaker 6: I want to be able to hop on my own
Speaker 6: ed go wherever I want. But no, I'm in a
Speaker 6: good place, I said to one of my friends one day.
Speaker 6: When I made less money, I always knew what I
Speaker 6: wanted to eat for dinner, and now I'm just like
Speaker 6: I could do whatever I want, and it's a very
Speaker 6: interesting place to be in. But I just spend most
Speaker 6: of my time feeding my mom and my brother because
Speaker 6: they live with me.
Speaker 3: So is that why you know Spanish? Because of Miami?
Speaker 3: Growing up in Miami.
Speaker 6: I started when we moved back to Miami when I
Speaker 6: was nine. You had to take Spanish every day in school,
Speaker 6: and I picked it up super quick. I studied it
Speaker 6: from like nine to eleven, and I picked it up
Speaker 6: real fast. And I didn't take another Spanish class agains
Speaker 6: I was fifteen, because in Georgia you don't have to
Speaker 6: take Spanish class as you have to take them in Miami.
Speaker 6: But I just picked it up so fast I was
Speaker 6: just able to keep it so to the time I
Speaker 6: was an adult, I was fully bilingual. I mean, there's
Speaker 6: a lot of words I don't know, but as a
Speaker 6: lot of English words I don't know.
Speaker 3: A studiato para duh d sinco onjos. And I still
Speaker 3: can't fucking speak Spanish. I had had a lasted this morning,
Speaker 3: and I get so fucking scared every time someone starts
Speaker 3: speaking Spanish to me. All I know so many words
Speaker 3: and so many and I can only write them or
Speaker 3: say them to myself. As soon as my housekeeper starts talking,
Speaker 3: I'm like, stop it stop. I can't fucking keep up.
Speaker 6: It depends on where the person's from. Sometimes, like I
Speaker 6: grew up listening to either like Cuban Spanish or like
Speaker 6: Mexico or El Salvador, so my ear is more tuned
Speaker 6: to Mexican Spanish because that's who I grew up with
Speaker 6: and who I grew up around when we moved back
Speaker 6: to Atlanta, and so it's interesting because like, like I
Speaker 6: was in Puerto Rico for three weeks filming a movie
Speaker 6: and I was like, I don't know what these folks
Speaker 6: are talking about. But Puerto Rican Spanish is different because
Speaker 6: they take English words and conjugate them like Spanish.
Speaker 1: And it's like totally different dialects.
Speaker 6: It's a totally different dialect, but everybody like in the
Speaker 6: same way, just like people like I don't get it.
Speaker 6: I'm like in Georgia, if you want if you ask
Speaker 6: somebody if they want something to drink, it's like you
Speaker 6: want to coke, And I could be meaning any carbonated beverage,
Speaker 6: but I'm just asking you if you want to coke, while
Speaker 6: other places a pop, other places that's soda. It's the
Speaker 6: same concept. It's just the different usage of words. But yeah,
Speaker 6: that's how I learned to speak Spanish was when when
Speaker 6: we lived in.
Speaker 5: Miami, and have you had a lot of Spanish speaking boyfriends.
Speaker 6: My first boyfriend was from al Salvador. His grandma didn't
Speaker 6: hate me because I spoke Spanish, so it's just like,
Speaker 6: oh my, my, my grandson's dating a black or you're like, oh, like, oh.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 6: I was like, I'm not Latin, but you know, when
Speaker 6: your name is gold to say. And I would be
Speaker 6: so disappointed to people if I didn't speak Spanish. So
Speaker 6: but yeah, there's always some boy you can talk to.
Speaker 6: And then I grew up like I have a whole
Speaker 6: Mexican family. One of my friends family basically a so
Speaker 6: you know, I have sisters and brothers and a thousand
Speaker 6: cousins and their kids and all of that. So I
Speaker 6: have a a whole network of people that I rely
Speaker 6: on as family because my family's not close.
Speaker 5: Since you've been a little kid, they haven't been close.
Speaker 6: Listen, when you have a lot of uncles, you can't
Speaker 6: be cool with all of them. So like, my mom
Speaker 6: has four older brothers and my uncle Stevie's great, but
Speaker 6: my other uncles, well, one of them just passed away,
Speaker 6: but who cares. We have his dog and that's fine.
Speaker 6: I don't know why a black man who went through
Speaker 6: Jim Crow owns a German shepherd, but.
Speaker 5: Oh god, oh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, tell me about your dating life. What's happening in
Speaker 3: your life. Now I've heard you talk about dating. You
Speaker 3: have an affinity towards broke men.
Speaker 6: No, they like me, and that's why I'm trying so
Speaker 6: hard to get from underneath them, literally, because they really
Speaker 6: think I'm the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas, their way
Speaker 6: to have a three square meals a day. Yeah, broke
Speaker 6: men love me, and I'm a tar for them because
Speaker 6: they have a tendency to think that I don't have
Speaker 6: high self esteem and I'm not a confident person, which
Speaker 6: I think is very amusing because google me, sir, So.
Speaker 5: You don't like you don't like them in return, They
Speaker 5: just like you.
Speaker 6: They love me because they want to eat today and
Speaker 6: they know that I'm going to do that. So broke
Speaker 6: men love me, and they have the best dick because
Speaker 6: they have to. They have nothing else to offer you.
Speaker 6: So if you're trying to get dicked down, which I
Speaker 6: usually am, like a lady does as much as I'm
Speaker 6: trying to keep them out of my out of my scope.
Speaker 6: I mean, I've been doing very well for the past
Speaker 6: two years and really getting away from these jokers. Because
Speaker 6: I said on CNN that my New Year's resolution was
Speaker 6: no more broke dick, and them dudes got very mad.
Speaker 5: The broke dick dudes got mad.
Speaker 6: Yes, if you reject a man in any way, he's
Speaker 6: going to get upset.
Speaker 7: So there are a lot of.
Speaker 6: Dudes bother borrowing their friends' phones to be mad at
Speaker 6: me on Twitter, and it was the same. I should
Speaker 6: be glad that even men ry try to talk to
Speaker 6: me and about d da da da da dah, because
Speaker 6: we keep having this narrative that men don't have sex
Speaker 6: with plus size women, which is stupid. My boobs are huge.
Speaker 6: You sound dumb.
Speaker 3: I have dated so many men that do not appreciate
Speaker 3: big breasts. When I have big breasts, I don't fucking
Speaker 3: get that. Or they're the most recent guy, well that's okay.
Speaker 3: He was like an ass man and he was all
Speaker 3: over my ass, and I was like, I don't really
Speaker 3: have that much of an ass, So it's like there's
Speaker 3: not much to get after. But I'm so surprised that
Speaker 3: men aren't.
Speaker 5: Boot men like I.
Speaker 3: I'm not a lesbian, but I think boobs are fun
Speaker 3: boobs aat I would want to get in on that
Speaker 3: or get after it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we as a society, regardless of your preference or orientation.
Speaker 6: We all appreciate a nice set of boobs, we all do.
Speaker 6: We all looked at it. I've seen a girl. I'm like,
Speaker 6: I am not queer at all, but I have seen
Speaker 6: a girl and be like, girls got a nice boom totally.
Speaker 1: And I think everyone, I know you're a fan of
Speaker 1: drag race as well. I think everyone is obsessed with boobs.
Speaker 1: I mean you see the drag queens on there, like
Speaker 1: they're also obsessed with boops, not just to wear them,
Speaker 1: but they like play with that. I mean it's a
Speaker 1: whole thing. Ever is obsessed with.
Speaker 5: Boob Well, of course, why wouldn't you be.
Speaker 3: They're just like two fun little jugs or big jugs,
Speaker 3: depending on who's who's who's the owner.
Speaker 6: I just have a joke about like gay man grabbing
Speaker 6: my boobs and being like, sir, we're both not this
Speaker 6: helps me either one of us. What are we doing
Speaker 6: right now? This is crazy? And so I just have
Speaker 6: this joke about like a gay man grabbing my boobs,
Speaker 6: like putting a car in a Lamborghini and starting a
Speaker 6: car and getting out. It's just like why are we?
Speaker 6: Why are we going through this song and dance?
Speaker 3: I like your strength and your confidence. Where is that
Speaker 3: from your childhood? Is that because you had to move
Speaker 3: around a lot during your childhood and be that?
Speaker 5: I mean, I noticed that when I was at the
Speaker 5: Daily Show.
Speaker 3: Actually you're very upfront and not afraid of confrontation.
Speaker 6: Whi's so funny that I hate confrontation, but I'm very
Speaker 6: really I don't like it. But I also have a
Speaker 6: certain way do people have to treat me? And so
Speaker 6: when you grow up and you're accustomed to grown adults
Speaker 6: being disrespectful and rude to you, you know why, It's
Speaker 6: because you're a black child. And when you become an
Speaker 6: adult and you get into a workplace that is filled
Speaker 6: with white people, white people have a tendency in a
Speaker 6: workplace to do passive, aggressive, bitch made things. And I'm
Speaker 6: fucking grown because I'm not trying to have a confrontation
Speaker 6: with you when I'm trying to have as a conversation
Speaker 6: with you, And anytime I have a conversation, it's going
Speaker 6: to be seen as confrontation because you're trying to do
Speaker 6: fuck shit and I'm not letting you do it. So
Speaker 6: you can't disrespect me and then smile in my face,
Speaker 6: and so it's going to be seen as were Also,
Speaker 6: it's we don't have time. We have to make a show.
Speaker 6: I don't have time for your feelings because you didn't
Speaker 6: have time for mine. So when you told me that
Speaker 6: I couldn't do this or that I couldn't do that,
Speaker 6: no one tiptoed around me to make me feel better
Speaker 6: and to go well, told say we're not sure, No, bitch,
Speaker 6: hurry up, because you had no problem of trying to
Speaker 6: make me feel insecure and lacking in this job when
Speaker 6: you knew I could do it. So now that I
Speaker 6: have the opportunit unity to go, this needs to be fixed.
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna hold your hand because you didn't hold mine. Also,
Speaker 6: we're all grown. Why am I holding your hand? You
Speaker 6: know this is wrong? What's the problem. And that's what
Speaker 6: I don't like when you're with white people at a job.
Speaker 6: It's a fake sense of community. It's a fake sense
Speaker 6: of camaraderie, it's a fake sense of caring. You couldn't
Speaker 6: give a fuck about me if I did not walk
Speaker 6: in this building. Again, it affects nobody in any way
Speaker 6: because as long as y'all are getting a check, as
Speaker 6: long as Comedy Central still cutting checks, as long as
Speaker 6: this office is cutting checks, who gives a shit? So
Speaker 6: y'all can't treat me any kind of way. I'm fucking forty.
Speaker 6: Who are you talking to? And so that's all it is.
Speaker 6: It's just if you hit a certain point as a
Speaker 6: black woman where you're just like no, because you finally
Speaker 6: realize there are no consequences for me sticking up for myself.
Speaker 6: Because in these times I'm appearing to be confident, it's
Speaker 6: because I am sticking up for myself. I always have
Speaker 6: to defend me because no one's showing up for me.
Speaker 6: But it's always gonna see, Well, Dulte was being mean
Speaker 6: to me, No bitch, you were being disrespectful, and I said, hey,
Speaker 6: you can't talk to me like that.
Speaker 3: This reminds me of America Ferrara's speech in Barbie.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 6: I didn't see that movie because I knew it was
Speaker 6: white woman propaganda, so I didn't go watch it. I
Speaker 6: know to put in it, but I know the campaign.
Speaker 6: I thought I was excited about it, and I was like,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna stay home all right.
Speaker 3: Well, and that note, We'll take a break and we'll
Speaker 3: be right back with Dulce Sloan.
Speaker 1: This week, we'd love for you to write in about
Speaker 1: family secrets. If there's advice you need about something you're
Speaker 1: trying to uncover or wondering whether to tell somebody the
Speaker 1: information that you know, write into Dear Chelsea podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: And we're back with Dulce dul say, Hey, hi, Hi,
Speaker 3: thank you for being on the podcast.
Speaker 5: We're gonna take some callers.
Speaker 3: Yes, we're gonna give advice to people. Okay, are you
Speaker 3: good at that, dulcey? Sometimes when are the times that
Speaker 3: you're good at giving.
Speaker 6: Advice when people want to listen to it? Well?
Speaker 5: Perfect, These people need help, So here we go.
Speaker 1: Okay, they need to listen to it. Well, since we've
Speaker 1: already talked about boobs, let's take a question about boobs.
Speaker 1: This is just a write end. She's not joining us,
Speaker 1: but b says Dear Chelsea. I know you love your
Speaker 1: boobs and you have amazing ones, so you might not
Speaker 1: be able to help me so much, but I wanted
Speaker 1: to reach out to you because I love your point
Speaker 1: of view. I've always hated my ariolas because they are
Speaker 1: what most would consider quote unquote large. I started to
Speaker 1: realize that when I would see women in movies, TV,
Speaker 1: topless or in Playboy magazines when I was younger, and
Speaker 1: now with porn, it seems like all women's ariolas are
Speaker 1: small except for mine. I don't have very large boobs,
Speaker 1: and they take up half or more of them. My
Speaker 1: husband tells me all the time how much he loves
Speaker 1: my boobs and wants me topless all the time, and
Speaker 1: I shouldn't hate on them, but I'm really considering ariola
Speaker 1: reduction surgery. I feel like if they were smaller, I'd
Speaker 1: have more confidence and actually want to be topless for
Speaker 1: my husband more. Do you have thoughts on this? Thank
Speaker 1: you and love your podcast, b.
Speaker 5: Do you have thoughts on this? And I'll say what
Speaker 5: do you think?
Speaker 6: Ma'am? Listen? As someone whose areolas are an a cook,
Speaker 6: I understand the desire to want to look a certain way.
Speaker 6: Here is my question. Why are you taking any cues
Speaker 6: from porn or pornographic material. Those women are manufactured to
Speaker 6: look a certain way, so they're looking for women that
Speaker 6: have built a certain way. It's not real. Most women
Speaker 6: don't look like those women, so you can't use that
Speaker 6: as what do you? Honestly, what do your friends ariolas
Speaker 6: look like? That's what you should be gauging them from.
Speaker 3: Well, not necessarily, because I once had a vaginal it's
Speaker 3: situation and I asked my sisters, I'm like, show me
Speaker 3: you're Pikachu's because I have something that is wrong I
Speaker 3: think with mine. And then they showed me theirs, and
Speaker 3: they didn't have what I had. I was like, fucks exactly,
Speaker 3: you know, but even if somebody does have nice areolas,
Speaker 3: like when you hyper focus also a everything, don't They said, yes,
Speaker 3: it's not fucking real, that's not real. You're to But additionally,
Speaker 3: when you focus on a body part of yours that
Speaker 3: you don't like, it exasperates the issue and it becomes
Speaker 3: bigger and bigger and bigger. Find another bardy part to
Speaker 3: fucking focus on and take your attention off your tips.
Speaker 5: There's nothing wrong with them.
Speaker 3: Your husband loves them, Like, how many opportunities are you
Speaker 3: going to get to be topless other than the bedroom?
Speaker 3: And in the bedroom you're with somebody that already loves them, Like,
Speaker 3: I really don't think areola.
Speaker 6: Reduction ariala reduction asshole brightening?
Speaker 3: All of that is just like it's non that's not
Speaker 3: the problem. I think you just have to try to
Speaker 3: get over it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, what's the real problem, right, what's the real problem?
Speaker 6: Are you not comfortable being topless? Are you not comfortable
Speaker 6: with your body around your husband? I go to Crean Saanas,
Speaker 6: and I can tell you the women that I see
Speaker 6: because like, when you're in the wet area, it's women only,
Speaker 6: and you have to be maked. You can't have on
Speaker 6: a bathing suit or anything because your clothes can infect
Speaker 6: the pools or what because they don't if you're closing
Speaker 6: with your baby suits clean or whatever. And so you
Speaker 6: have to take a shower before you get into these pools.
Speaker 6: And the women that I see that are the most
Speaker 6: self conscious about their bodies are the women that are
Speaker 6: quote unquote good shape, the women who are quote unquote thin,
Speaker 6: and if they're boobs done. It's also the women that
Speaker 6: are built like me or bigger than. First of all,
Speaker 6: the towels are so small, you can't cover up anybody, right,
Speaker 6: But the women that I see that are hiding the
Speaker 6: most and being the most self conscious and paying attention
Speaker 6: to who looks at them are the women who are
Speaker 6: quote unquote in shape. And so I know, for me,
Speaker 6: I think what she needs to do is to go
Speaker 6: to a Korean sauna or place like that where you
Speaker 6: can see real women's bodies, because sometimes you think that
Speaker 6: you're the only one that looks like you. And going
Speaker 6: to the Korean sauna and seeing other women built like
Speaker 6: me that have you know, the roles where I have
Speaker 6: rolls and all this other I was just like, it's
Speaker 6: not just me.
Speaker 5: It's not just you.
Speaker 3: And also lean into your shortcomings, Like it's good to
Speaker 3: lean into the stuff that you don't like about yourself.
Speaker 5: I have cellulate on my legs.
Speaker 3: I've decided to not give a fuck about that about
Speaker 3: ten years ago, like I used to cover my legs
Speaker 3: up or be worried that somebody would see this little
Speaker 3: who gives a shit, Like at a certain point, it's
Speaker 3: about self love and it's about you actually giving a
Speaker 3: shit about yourself. And I'm not saying that you don't.
Speaker 3: This woman that wrote in what's her name again, I
Speaker 3: was gonna say Aritzia, and that I'm like cucy, okay, Ritzia.
Speaker 3: Lean into your shortcomings. This is a good lesson for
Speaker 3: any woman listening. You know, none of us are perfect,
Speaker 3: and you shouldn't be trying to be perfect. Everything that
Speaker 3: we're both saying is like it's about I love myself,
Speaker 3: I'm into myself, I respect myself, and I'm self assured.
Speaker 3: So whatever work it takes you to get to that
Speaker 3: place is the work that you should be focusing on,
Speaker 3: you know, not surgically reducing your nipples.
Speaker 6: It's like, because i work every day to be nice
Speaker 6: than myself, and I'm in therapy to be nice and
Speaker 6: talk nicer than myself. And so I'm not saying that
Speaker 6: I'm so to a point where I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 6: completely evolved. But also here's the other thing that people
Speaker 6: don't think about. Well, you could try to get the
Speaker 6: ariola reduction surgery and they fuck around and now all
Speaker 6: of a sudden, your ariola is a cockotte, your nipples.
Speaker 3: Are Be careful what you fuck with exactly exactly, you're
Speaker 3: gonna end up with a nipple on your asshole exactly.
Speaker 1: Go to the Korean Spa and then watch them botched.
Speaker 6: And then that's hullair right there.
Speaker 5: You go, watch botch. Problem solved.
Speaker 3: Thank you for calling in Oran, Thank you, Ritzia, Thank
Speaker 3: you Ritzia.
Speaker 1: Yeah, grassies, Well, our next caller is Cheyenne aka Cinnamon.
Speaker 1: She is thirty two in Wisconsin. She says she says
Speaker 1: dear Chelsea. First of all, I just like to say
Speaker 1: thank you for all you've contributed to womankind. My question
Speaker 1: is a bit obscure, but absolutely something you might be
Speaker 1: able to help me with. I have a friend, let's
Speaker 1: call her Sue, who have been friends with for a
Speaker 1: year or so. When we met, I was waitress at
Speaker 1: a strip club. Well, this friend turn into more than
Speaker 1: a friend for my husband and I. It was my
Speaker 1: first experience in that situation, and I ended up more
Speaker 1: irritated and I'm comfortable than I expected, so I wanted
Speaker 1: to cut it off after an extended talkthrough.
Speaker 3: Well so wait, wait, wait, I just want to make
Speaker 3: sure I'm following her. She's she's the one working at
Speaker 3: the strip club or they met there. She was, and
Speaker 3: they met another girl that they brought into the bedroom.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, So flash forward to recently when my husband
Speaker 1: and I had some serious issues to the point of
Speaker 1: marriage counseling or possibly being done, and she decides to
Speaker 1: play both sides of us, saying one thing to me
Speaker 1: and the opposite to him. I plan on just dropping
Speaker 1: the bitch as a friend. But here's the catch. Our
Speaker 1: daughters are best friends and I don't want to ruin
Speaker 1: that for them. What should I do? Cheyenne aka Cinnamon?
Speaker 3: Oh wow, what a sticky situation you found yourself in, Juicy.
Speaker 6: Let's up with the nickname. Maybe it's not applicable at all.
Speaker 6: She just just told us my name was Cinnamon. I
Speaker 6: don't know why I'm stuck on that.
Speaker 3: She's here joining us, Hi, Hi, Hi Cinnamon. Okay, So
Speaker 3: you worked in a strip club and you met this
Speaker 3: This woman is just a friend of yours.
Speaker 5: She wasn't in the strip club, right, Yeah, she was.
Speaker 7: Just a friend. I was a cocktail waitress.
Speaker 3: And she came into your place of work, and that's
Speaker 3: how you guys started hooking up.
Speaker 8: Well that's how we started kind of like hanging out
Speaker 8: and being like, oh, you got kids too, let's hang out,
Speaker 8: and then it just kind of blossomed from there.
Speaker 5: Look at Dulce's face.
Speaker 6: I'm listening.
Speaker 8: There were some red flags considering she just was very
Speaker 8: attached from the start.
Speaker 5: To both of you, or just to you to me,
Speaker 5: and like, I.
Speaker 8: Resonate with you very much because I fucking hate people
Speaker 8: a lot.
Speaker 6: Interesting, So cocktail.
Speaker 8: That was like, ufta, I'm going to not hang out
Speaker 8: with you every single day because I can't do that.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you guys, so you had you had a
Speaker 3: bunch of dalliances, sorry to use that word, with her
Speaker 3: and with your husband, and now you've broken up and
Speaker 3: your husband.
Speaker 5: What's the status with you and your husband?
Speaker 7: Me and my husband are great, We have no issues.
Speaker 8: I introduced her into our relationship to spicything up.
Speaker 6: If she was already clany, why would you?
Speaker 8: She wasn't clingy a in a weird way, I guess,
Speaker 8: And because I had never experienced being with another woman,
Speaker 8: she felt someone I was comfortable enough to try that with.
Speaker 6: So when the red flags came, were they before or
Speaker 6: after you brought her into the marriage?
Speaker 8: The red flags and the sense of the friendship was like,
Speaker 8: she immediately attached to me, and that was like a
Speaker 8: little overwhelming at first, but then it was chilled out.
Speaker 6: And then when I.
Speaker 8: Brought her into the marriage, it was okay for like
Speaker 8: two times, and then it became weird. She was getting
Speaker 8: mad at my husband for not giving her enough attention.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, that's not going to work out for a threesome.
Speaker 5: So what's this now? She just your friend? Your daughters
Speaker 5: are friends. How old are your daughters.
Speaker 8: So it's my oldest daughter. She's six and her she
Speaker 8: has twin girls who are sevenix.
Speaker 6: They don't remember three days ago, no.
Speaker 7: I mean, but they do.
Speaker 8: She breaks my heart because she talks about these girls
Speaker 8: all she goes, remember when I was friends with so
Speaker 8: and so, and you know, and it really.
Speaker 5: But who cares? That doesn't matter, I know, but it's
Speaker 5: she's six.
Speaker 3: I mean, I had a million best friends before she's
Speaker 3: gonna she might for this moment she misses them. But
Speaker 3: this just sounds like a bad situation for you to
Speaker 3: be immersed in. Like I would try to divorce yourself
Speaker 3: from the whole situation. It's just too sticky. It's like
Speaker 3: too many things are happening and you need to clean
Speaker 3: up your side of the street a little bit more.
Speaker 5: And your six year old could take the hit.
Speaker 7: She can't.
Speaker 6: My family, there was a falling out in my family
Speaker 6: and I didn't see cousins for years, like over ten,
Speaker 6: maybe fifteen years, and I had to get over it
Speaker 6: because what I don't know what happened, And I still
Speaker 6: don't know because I was a child and it's none
Speaker 6: of my business. So like, did my little cousin know
Speaker 6: that we weren't actually related. No, but that wasn't her problem.
Speaker 6: That wasn't she was nine, So if I said sixteen,
Speaker 6: I'd been like, Okay, that is because now they have autonomy,
Speaker 6: now they know what's happening. She's so little. I don't
Speaker 6: think you. I know you're worried about like hurting the
Speaker 6: baby and like taking a friend away from her, But
Speaker 6: you and your husband are good. You have to continue
Speaker 6: to be in a place where your family, your unit
Speaker 6: is good. She's little because think about it, she could
Speaker 6: have a friend of school. Think of a friend of
Speaker 6: school that she was talking about in kindergarten. Is she
Speaker 6: still friends with that kid today?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 8: So the only issue I'm concerned is I do live
Speaker 8: in a small town. Okay, they see each other, we
Speaker 8: see each other in public.
Speaker 3: That's fine, that's fine. Just take the high road and
Speaker 3: just be normal. It doesn't have to be like a confrontation.
Speaker 3: Just be friendly and that's it. Don't be anything more
Speaker 3: than that, right.
Speaker 7: And that's how I've been.
Speaker 8: She's been the one who's had an attitude about.
Speaker 5: It, but who cares about her no matter.
Speaker 3: You're just living your life, doing your thing. It doesn't
Speaker 3: matter what attitude she has because she's not your friend anymore,
Speaker 3: so you don't care about that.
Speaker 6: I have the coldest shouldered in anybody. When I'm not
Speaker 6: speaking to someone is very loud.
Speaker 3: So right, sometimes when you are speaking to them, you're
Speaker 3: giving them the cold shoulder too.
Speaker 6: Don't say oh no, no, no, no no. You could never speak
Speaker 6: to someoney give the cold shoulder at the same time
Speaker 6: as handler.
Speaker 5: I disagree, I disagree.
Speaker 6: It can be very much like a hello, and that's it,
Speaker 6: because if miss thing wants to give attitude, we could
Speaker 6: give attitude. It don't have to be ignoring you, but
Speaker 6: you need to know we're not speaking so as that
Speaker 6: my child is, I say say, how did have a daughter?
Speaker 7: Thank you?
Speaker 6: That we leave it. It can be we see each
Speaker 6: other in public, good day, ma'am, Good day, ma'am, and
Speaker 6: then you go on a bunch of good business if
Speaker 6: she wants to call them, because that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 6: People always see the person that is acting a donkey.
Speaker 6: So you can't bring yourself to her level or bring
Speaker 6: yourself down on her level. But if you want to
Speaker 6: have an attitude, let her have all the attitude she want.
Speaker 6: But at the end of the day, you have to
Speaker 6: walk into your house and know that your family is good.
Speaker 6: And if this is a person who's going to bring
Speaker 6: chaos into your house, her feelings are not. It doesn't
Speaker 6: matter what her feelings are. It doesn't because what she
Speaker 6: did is she came in and she caused the problem.
Speaker 6: If she wanted to act right, then everybody could be
Speaker 6: getting fucked on a Friday. But this bitch wanted to
Speaker 6: cause a problem. This is her own fault.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Now she's not gonna get fucked on from no or.
Speaker 6: To day or whatever that a week it is.
Speaker 7: It wasn't even he the one who ended it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 5: Listen, we're telling you what to do it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: These problems are irrelevant. You just have to keep it
Speaker 3: very distant with her, but friendly, and that's it. No
Speaker 3: more getting in, no more inroads.
Speaker 6: If you're going to see her, if the issue is
Speaker 6: seeing her in public, because I feel like that's your
Speaker 6: main issue with seeing her in public.
Speaker 7: We own a bar and a restaurant in our town.
Speaker 6: Does she come in? She used to, but she don't know.
Speaker 7: She has now put a review, a bad review, and.
Speaker 1: That's just gonna happen.
Speaker 5: You just yell can fix that.
Speaker 6: Yell can fix that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't say as a hook up at yea anyway,
Speaker 3: sit up in Cheyenne.
Speaker 5: Both of you.
Speaker 3: Good luck and just you started this problem, now finish it.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 7: Oh I appreciate it. Thank you guys.
Speaker 5: Okay, good luck to you.
Speaker 6: Thanks.
Speaker 5: Was she drinking a cocktail right then? Probably she seemed
Speaker 5: very listen.
Speaker 6: She is a fan. She's probably nervous. She had little juice.
Speaker 6: I don't know if it was a cocktail. I'm not trying.
Speaker 6: I don't. I can't speculate. There's no situations where you
Speaker 6: say to somebody, this is what to do, but no,
Speaker 6: this is what to do town. You are you already
Speaker 6: you did the hardest part already was getting her out
Speaker 6: of your bedroom, right and so if the problem is
Speaker 6: seeing this bitch in public, just look at her up
Speaker 6: and down and go about your good life like that
Speaker 6: can't be. There's something she was I.
Speaker 1: Think she wanted to tell us a lot more.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, yeah, okay, well, wolb on to tie.
Speaker 5: Is it my ex boyfriend?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Very hot? Tye is thirty one and says, dear Chelsea,
Speaker 1: I'm a gay male and I have been seeing a
Speaker 1: handsome guy. Since July. We hit it off really fast
Speaker 1: and have been inseparable ever since. He has, however, been
Speaker 1: unemployed for five years. Since I'm not no, I don't know.
Speaker 1: He's been working as an uber driver, but his mom
Speaker 1: has mainly been supporting him. He came from a great
Speaker 1: medical job that gave him him an abundance of money.
Speaker 1: I now find myself having to having him living with
Speaker 1: me while I front all the bills. He only pays
Speaker 1: for food and weed. How do I tell this man
Speaker 1: to get up and fight for a real job.
Speaker 5: Get rid of him?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? He's applied for numerous jobs, but
Speaker 1: still unable to contribute to the homestead. Tie and Tie
Speaker 1: is joining up?
Speaker 5: N Sorry, I have to take my medication.
Speaker 3: After that, the last Colin reminded me that I needed
Speaker 3: to take my medication. Hi, Ty, say hi to Dulce Sloan.
Speaker 3: She's our special guest today.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 6: How are you? I'm good friend? How are you? I
Speaker 6: hear you have a miscreant in your home?
Speaker 4: I got something like that, Yeah you do?
Speaker 6: This is this is before we give you any advice. Okay,
Speaker 6: what do you think you need to do?
Speaker 5: A great question?
Speaker 4: That is a great question. That's why I'm calling in
Speaker 4: to you.
Speaker 6: No, no, no, no, what you're You're not looking for information,
Speaker 6: You're looking for confirmation. That's what you want. You have
Speaker 6: something you want to do, but you don't want to
Speaker 6: do what you have to do. So you asking Chelsea
Speaker 6: Marie Handler to tell you to do what you know
Speaker 6: you need to do and what all your friends have
Speaker 6: told you that you need to do. So tat what
Speaker 6: do you know you need to do? And you're just
Speaker 6: waiting for us to give you the green flag to
Speaker 6: do it?
Speaker 4: What I don't want to do is the issue at hand.
Speaker 4: I really like this guy and feel like I need
Speaker 4: to help him do No no.
Speaker 3: No, no, no no, he hasn't worked in five years.
Speaker 6: Wait what he say? What do you not want to do? Tie?
Speaker 4: You can break it off.
Speaker 6: Her in that's you said it out loud. You set
Speaker 6: it out loud. Now you ain't gotta get yelled at
Speaker 6: by me and Chelsea Handler for the next three and
Speaker 6: a half minutes. You already know what you need to do,
Speaker 6: absolutely so look, you already know what needs to be done.
Speaker 6: It already had had hers is you know exactly what
Speaker 6: you need to do is get this raggedy man out
Speaker 6: your house. Now you have the confirmation from three strong
Speaker 6: women to do what you did not want to do,
Speaker 6: because everybody, including his mama, probably told you to put
Speaker 6: him out and break up with him. Am I right?
Speaker 3: Maybe a sister, what do you can I just ask
Speaker 3: you something? What do you like about him?
Speaker 4: Dick?
Speaker 6: Everybody knows who can keep a broke man in your
Speaker 6: house with some dick. We already know the answer is Chelsea,
Speaker 6: And we can go ahead, Tie say it.
Speaker 4: I mean you're not wrong, say.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, I mean you have to have higher standards
Speaker 3: than just getting dick, like.
Speaker 4: You have to know.
Speaker 5: Okay, fine, the artist girl.
Speaker 6: I can't ask someone whose ministry is no more broke dick.
Speaker 6: I already know what the campaign is. You want to
Speaker 6: be supportive of this person because they're not doing well.
Speaker 6: But if their mother is supportive and their boyfriend and supportive,
Speaker 6: this human being has no initiative to get out out
Speaker 6: of his own and do anything. I know you love
Speaker 6: this person, but you can love. You can't love somebody
Speaker 6: to your detriment. And you know this is what happened,
Speaker 6: and that's why you know if somebody's sister's going please
Speaker 6: break up with this man. He ain't shit. You know
Speaker 6: he's not shit because he could be a perfectly good
Speaker 6: human being. And that's probably the hardest part, because if
Speaker 6: he was a bad person, it would be easy to go, sir,
Speaker 6: pack up your throngs and get out of my home.
Speaker 6: But that's not what it is. You love them, they're
Speaker 6: a good person, that's great, But what he is is
Speaker 6: using you and his mama so that he can stay indoors.
Speaker 6: And good dick knows that they can stay indoors if
Speaker 6: they say, dicking somebody with a good job down. Look
Speaker 6: at this art you have in your home you're doing?
Speaker 6: Will did you city out this man's mouth and send
Speaker 6: him packing? We already, Chelsea, and I have no other words.
Speaker 5: How long has he been living with you?
Speaker 4: Kind of started off just like how lesbian couple does.
Speaker 4: He just moved in, Like the first month, he just
Speaker 4: came in.
Speaker 5: Are you a lesbian?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: Since July?
Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much like the same month. He just started
Speaker 4: staying here one night and has left.
Speaker 3: Okay, And the fact that he doesn't have a job
Speaker 3: is about is irksome to you?
Speaker 5: Correct?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean he does uber and that and support.
Speaker 5: No, no, listen, listen.
Speaker 3: I know, but listen, obviously, we just we told you
Speaker 3: what needs to happen. This isn't respectful to yourself, never
Speaker 3: mind to him. You're enabling him, and he's spending his
Speaker 3: money on weed, which leads me to believe, like, when
Speaker 3: you don't have a job, how do you get to
Speaker 3: smoke weed?
Speaker 6: That's what the uber's for.
Speaker 1: I haven't started selling weed from the uber.
Speaker 5: You better get your shit together, buddy.
Speaker 6: Okay, my mother said more than one weed is a
Speaker 6: motivation killer.
Speaker 5: Yes, you don't see.
Speaker 6: You don't see a lot of very successful people who
Speaker 6: do drugs anyway, because it's either gonna kill you or
Speaker 6: take your motivation or take your money. So this person
Speaker 6: has already showed you what their priorities are.
Speaker 3: Well wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, I say, okay,
Speaker 3: and that's.
Speaker 6: What I'm saying. But that's what I'm saying. I just said,
Speaker 6: it doesn't happen for everybody. Because you are a self starter.
Speaker 6: This person has already showed you were motivated enough. You
Speaker 6: use the weed to relax. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: You use the weed to help you.
Speaker 3: But what I'm saying is I have a lot to
Speaker 3: show for my weed. This guy has nothing to show
Speaker 3: because he's being productive, I know, but I'm saying it
Speaker 3: in a different ways. I'll say, so he's not This
Speaker 3: isn't a great Like it would be great if he
Speaker 3: was super productive and he was high all the time.
Speaker 1: Great, that's fun.
Speaker 3: But he's homeless, jobless and smoking weed on your sofa.
Speaker 3: Like you have to look at that view from not
Speaker 3: being in the situation and realize how absurd it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I'm just holding out and hoping that
Speaker 4: he gets back into the field that he used to
Speaker 4: be in.
Speaker 3: Well, let him go, get back into the field, and
Speaker 3: then he can come and you guys can revisit and
Speaker 3: he can fuck you.
Speaker 6: Then what's the field?
Speaker 4: Medical device sales?
Speaker 1: So like money?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm good, like very good money.
Speaker 8: Yes.
Speaker 6: Did he have like a nervous breakdown or something.
Speaker 4: Something like that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Oh that's what it is because medical device sales
Speaker 6: is very commission driven. It's very difficult to do and
Speaker 6: make a living at it. Oh, so you caught a
Speaker 6: man in a bad place. That what's happened?
Speaker 5: So does that change your advice?
Speaker 6: Don't say no, he still a buma has to get
Speaker 6: out of his house. But now we just don't understand
Speaker 6: why he's a bum and.
Speaker 1: Why you feel bad and you want to like take
Speaker 1: care of him and nurture him.
Speaker 6: Where is the nursery coming from? Because a bum ass
Speaker 6: do is a bum ass do. But if you're seeing someone, Okay,
Speaker 6: that makes sense.
Speaker 5: Listen.
Speaker 3: I'm all about giving people like room for them to
Speaker 3: grow and correct bad behavior.
Speaker 5: But this has been too long.
Speaker 3: Five years is too long for him not to be
Speaker 3: able to get himself back together, and you're not helping him.
Speaker 6: Is he in therapy?
Speaker 3: You could use that money that he's using on weed
Speaker 3: for a therapist and he would get a lot more results.
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly. Yeah, it's coming up on a ear.
Speaker 1: I mean, since this coming up on a ear, I
Speaker 1: think that's where you have to say, like, either you're
Speaker 1: contributing to half the bills or bye.
Speaker 6: And you have to go to therapy.
Speaker 1: That's a perfectly appropriate boundary to set.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but you don't seem like you're ready to have
Speaker 5: that conversation.
Speaker 4: That it's coming to that time.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well you heard it here from us and we
Speaker 3: couldn't be louder about it. So let us know report
Speaker 3: back when you've done something about your situation, and you
Speaker 3: should think of this as not a matter of it's
Speaker 3: a matter of respecting him as much as it is
Speaker 3: a matter of respecting yourself.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is true. All right, awesome, Well I appreciate
Speaker 4: all your guys advice.
Speaker 3: Go get that dick suck now, Okay, thanks, I he
Speaker 3: ows you. Yeah, before he leaves, have him suck your dick.
Speaker 4: Well that's daly.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, obviously that man's earning his keep it. Wow,
Speaker 3: don't say really is very insightful. Don't you really know
Speaker 3: how to nail it out right away? You're like, I
Speaker 3: know exactly what's going on. I feel like I'm looking
Speaker 3: for more complexity and nuanced and said, no, he's getting
Speaker 3: his dicks.
Speaker 4: No, I got it right now. Yeah, she nailed it.
Speaker 3: Everybody listen, Dear Dulce coming out in July, Dear dulcey listen.
Speaker 6: If I know anything, it is the tactics and tricks
Speaker 6: and shenanigans of a poor man, of a broke man
Speaker 6: trying to stay indoors. He knows what he needs to do.
Speaker 6: He's gonna suck a dick, and he's gonna eat all
Speaker 6: your meats and cheeses while you overhe had do good job.
Speaker 6: Now we know what the campaign is. Get that man
Speaker 6: some therapy and send them to his mammy house. That's
Speaker 6: where he needed to go.
Speaker 3: Or just get some peanut butter and a dog Chelsea. Sorry, sorry, guys,
Speaker 3: that's thanks TI. Okay, is there already a dog?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're going to be peanut butter though.
Speaker 6: Okay, well no we're not good household.
Speaker 5: All right, welcome bye, take care and keep us post dead.
Speaker 4: Thanks, thank you to take care.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going
Speaker 3: to be right back to wrap up, which I'll say, sloan,
Speaker 3: and we're back from our break. Don't say I was
Speaker 3: very impressed. I mean you're really good at this.
Speaker 6: Thank you. Listen, As I've always said, I don't know
Speaker 6: how to pick a good man, but I know it
Speaker 6: ain't shit man from fifty paces.
Speaker 3: Well, you're also very you're very good at listening to people.
Speaker 3: That is a very good quality.
Speaker 6: Thank you. Thank you. As someone who's been a plus
Speaker 6: sized black woman my entire life, people love to tell
Speaker 6: me their problems because America loves a black woman coming
Speaker 6: to help them with their problems. But also I think
Speaker 6: it's I would want someone to listen. If I'm writing
Speaker 6: into somebody or listen. It's I'm always someone that people
Speaker 6: come to when they have problems, and I'm not always
Speaker 6: the person that gets to go to people. So if
Speaker 6: someone is taking the time to really share what's going
Speaker 6: on with them with me, I at least owe them
Speaker 6: enough to listen. But then you have to realize that
Speaker 6: sometimes people want to abuse that. You're like, ah, because
Speaker 6: I had a homegirl tell me one time, you've been
Speaker 6: winding to me about this man for five years. You
Speaker 6: ain't going nowhere. I'm not listening no more. And that's
Speaker 6: what made me go my best friend won't listen to
Speaker 6: me complain about this man again because I talk about
Speaker 6: the mechanic in the book. That's who I was complaining
Speaker 6: about all the time. Because you know, the first person
Speaker 6: you love, you don't always know how to get unentangled with.
Speaker 6: But it's all right now. He's married to a lady
Speaker 6: who's built like a can of soup, so.
Speaker 5: So she sounds beautiful, gorgeous.
Speaker 3: Don't Say's new book of essays, it's called Hello Friends,
Speaker 3: Stories of Dating, Destiny and Day Jobs, is available now
Speaker 3: so order on Amazon and what Else don'll say what
Speaker 3: else do you want to promote anything else?
Speaker 6: I have a lip gloss line with comedian Lace Layer,
Speaker 6: be called giggle Gloss.
Speaker 5: Giggle Gloss, Yes, giggle gloss.
Speaker 6: We pack all the orders at my house. I am
Speaker 6: the distribution center. Me and Lace came up with giggle
Speaker 6: Gloss as a way to have merch to sell on
Speaker 6: the road. It was my mom's idea. And so we
Speaker 6: have six signature colors no more Broke Dick, my ministry,
Speaker 6: Future Wife, my manifestation, and amos ladies with the men
Speaker 6: you say hollering at me. And Lace's colors are Purse Vodka,
Speaker 6: Lafia Majora and I'll show you crazy. And so we're
Speaker 6: partnering with other comics. We partner with Katin Blandford for
Speaker 6: her color horse Girl because stella merch on the road
Speaker 6: is hard and keep it up with T shirts and
Speaker 6: all the other stuff was a lot, and so me
Speaker 6: and Lace wanted to find a way to have merch
Speaker 6: for us to sell and merch for other comics to sell.
Speaker 6: And so yeah, giggle Gloss dot com.
Speaker 5: You can play smart all right, Delse, Thanks for your time.
Speaker 6: Thank you for having me, and I hope I can
Speaker 6: get that raggingan man out of his half.
Speaker 5: Still say's invested. Goodbye, thank you bye. Okay.
Speaker 3: So upcoming shows that I have you guys, Auckland, New Zealand, Wellington,
Speaker 3: New Zealand, Melbourne, Australia, Brisbane in Australia, Sydney, Stralia. We've
Speaker 3: added second shows to places that have sold out the
Speaker 3: first and then I'm going to be in Hawaii on Maui, Kahulue,
Speaker 3: and Honolulu.
Speaker 5: I will be there in July.
Speaker 3: Also in July, I'm coming to Niagara Falls on July
Speaker 3: twenty seventh. I'm coming to Hollywood, Florida for my only
Speaker 3: show in Florida on July twenty eighth. I'll be in Auburn,
Speaker 3: Washington on August first, and then Santa Rosa, California for
Speaker 3: my second show August second. August seventeenth is the Santa
Speaker 3: Barbara Bowl. You do not want to miss that. And
Speaker 3: then I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston,
Speaker 3: South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint
Speaker 3: Louis and Kansas City, and then I will be in
Speaker 3: Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.
Speaker 3: My first three dates in Vegas our September first, Labor
Speaker 3: Day weekend, and then November second and November thirtieth.
Speaker 1: I'm coming to.
Speaker 3: Brooklyn, New York, at the King's Theater on November eighth,
Speaker 3: and i have tickets on sale throughout the end of
Speaker 3: the year in December, so if you're in a city
Speaker 3: like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or New Orleans
Speaker 3: or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Speaker 1: Okay, if you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an
Speaker 1: email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and
Speaker 1: be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is
Speaker 1: edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law
Speaker 1: and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler
Speaker 1: dot com.