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Speaker 1: Safety is the foundation of everything, and people think that

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Speaker 1: safety is about like swaddling people in cotton and making

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Speaker 1: them feel comfortable, when actually it's all about voice.

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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be

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Speaker 2: adding a really special offering onto the back of my

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Speaker 2: solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily Jay is a daily

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Speaker 2: series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while

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Speaker 2: outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful.

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Speaker 3: Stress free life.

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Speaker 2: We dive into a range of topics and the best

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Speaker 2: part is each episode is only seven minutes long, so

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Speaker 2: you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter how

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Speaker 2: busy you are. As a dedicated part of the on

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Speaker 2: Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you

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Speaker 2: this year, so I'll be playing a hand picked Daily

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Speaker 2: Jay during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, we're

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Speaker 2: discussing your relationship with work and how to be more present,

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Speaker 2: productive and purposeful. Of course, if you want to listen

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Speaker 2: to The Daily Jay every day, you can subscribe to Calm,

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Speaker 2: So go to Calm dot com forward slash j for

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Speaker 2: forty percent off your membership today. Welcome back to On Purpose,

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Speaker 2: the number one health podcast.

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Speaker 3: In the world where we dive.

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Speaker 2: Into your physical, mental, emotional, financial health, and I know

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Speaker 2: that wellbeing is a big priority for all of you,

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Speaker 2: and the wellbeing of the people you work with, the

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Speaker 2: wellbeing of the people that work for you, if you

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Speaker 2: have a team or a company, or you're an entrepreneur,

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Speaker 2: or even your family that you work together with. Culture

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Speaker 2: is at the heart of that and how we think

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Speaker 2: about the people that we interact with daily, how we

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Speaker 2: understand how to give them feedback, how to connect with them,

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Speaker 2: how to communicate with them more effectively. I mean, if

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Speaker 2: the quality of our life, which we know from Harvard's

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Speaker 2: seventy five year study that the quality of our life

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Speaker 2: is based on the quality of our relationships, then finding

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Speaker 2: great culture in our relations is such a key need.

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Speaker 2: I was exposed to the fascinating cultures of monk's lives

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Speaker 2: when I lived as a monk for three years, and

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Speaker 2: I gained so much from that culture that I adopted

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Speaker 2: and I brought into my work. But recently I came

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Speaker 2: across a book, and I'm always on the lookout for

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Speaker 2: that next book that's going to shift my perspective, change

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Speaker 2: my mind.

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Speaker 3: And I'm a voracious reader. I read a ton.

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Speaker 2: I'm always picking up new books at the airport at bookstores.

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Speaker 2: My friends are like Jay, like when do you get

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Speaker 2: all the time. I'm like, trust me, I just need

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Speaker 2: to dive in and learn what I can and take

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Speaker 2: what I can. And this book, I cannot speak more

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Speaker 2: highly of it because it has been so clarifying, it

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Speaker 2: has been so beautifully simplifying of what it means to

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Speaker 2: build culture, build teams, communicate effectively, give feedback effectively. And

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Speaker 2: so today's guest is the author of my current favorite book,

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Speaker 2: which is called The Culture Code. He's the New York

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Speaker 2: Times best selling author and this book was named best

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Speaker 2: business Book of the Year by Bloomberg, Book Pal and

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Speaker 2: Business Insider. His other books include The Talent Code, which

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Speaker 2: I haven't read yet, which I'm very excited to read,

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Speaker 2: The Little Book of Talent, The Secret Race, Lance Armstrong's War,

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Speaker 2: and Hardball, A Season in the Projects. He has served

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Speaker 2: as an advisor to many high performing organizations, including the

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Speaker 2: Navy Seals, Microsoft, Google, and the Cleveland Guardians. His new

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Speaker 2: book is called The Culture Playbook, sixty highly Effective Actions

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Speaker 2: to help your group succeed. It's the ultimate handbook for

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Speaker 2: fostering and cultivating as streams strong culture and we're going

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Speaker 2: to be using that book. Welcome to the show, Daniel Coyle. Daniel,

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Speaker 2: thank you so much for doing this.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me Jay. It's really fun to be

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Speaker 1: with you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I really appreciated it. I know I was

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Speaker 2: talking about you everywhere. Literally, was talking about you on

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Speaker 2: my YouTube channel, I was talking about you on my Instagram.

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Speaker 2: And so when your team reached down they said, Hey,

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Speaker 2: does Jay want to speak to Daniel, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think there's anyone I want to

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Speaker 2: speak to more right now. So today is basically my

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Speaker 2: opportunity to for free, which you usually get paid a

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Speaker 2: lot for, for free, ask you questions about your expertise

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Speaker 2: that I can apply inside my company and organization with

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Speaker 2: my team members. And if you're in the audience right

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Speaker 2: now and you're like, Jay, I don't have a company,

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Speaker 2: I'm not an entrepreneur. I'm you know, I don't own

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Speaker 2: my own business. Everything that we talk about will be

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Speaker 2: applicable to you, whether it's within your organization, within your company.

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Speaker 2: It even applies, in my opinion, to your family. It

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Speaker 2: genuinely applies to your friends and the people that you

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Speaker 2: connect with. So what I'm learning from Daniel in his

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Speaker 2: book is not just the culture code for businesses, but

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Speaker 2: it's a culture code for life. And I want you

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Speaker 2: to see it that way as well. So would you

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Speaker 2: would you agree with that?

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Speaker 3: Daniel?

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Speaker 2: I wanted to ask you that question off straight off

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Speaker 2: the bat, like I've been using your advice in my

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Speaker 2: personal life as much as my professional life.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that. No, I have too, And actually writing

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Speaker 1: the book was not any different.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: We go into it with these ideas about what culture

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Speaker 1: is and how culture is built. Normally think culture is

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Speaker 1: sort of like the personality of a group, like it's

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Speaker 1: just sort of who they are, Like Disney is Disney,

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Speaker 1: and your culture of your group as you. And when

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Speaker 1: you sort of look beneath that, what you find is

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Speaker 1: that it's much more like a sport, it's much more

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Speaker 1: like a skill. It's much more like these these sort

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Speaker 1: of certain actions. It's not about who you are, it's

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Speaker 1: about what you do. It's about your behaviors. And there's

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Speaker 1: this like language of behaviors that helps people connect, that

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Speaker 1: helps people open up, that helps people figure out where

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Speaker 1: they want to go together. And it does feel kind

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Speaker 1: of like a discovery. I have to say, I still

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm like, I'm discovering new things about this

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Speaker 1: even after having written about it for so long ago.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Let's let's define culture for anyone who's listening. And like

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Speaker 2: you said, like today we think of culture like music

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Speaker 2: or fashion, and we think of culturally relevant things, but

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Speaker 2: we also think about culture as you do talk about

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Speaker 2: as within a team, within a company, within a family,

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Speaker 2: within an organization. What are the key ten and that's

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Speaker 2: that define a culture? And please define culture for us

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Speaker 2: as well as that.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting you feel a culture when you walk

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Speaker 1: into a space with people, right, you walk into a

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Speaker 1: locker room, you walk into a kitchen of a restaurant,

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Speaker 1: you walk into a school, and you can feel it.

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Speaker 1: What are you feeling there? What is that made of?

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Speaker 1: I would define culture as a set of living relationships

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Speaker 1: moving toward a goal together. And the visual I want

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Speaker 1: you to picture is almost like a flock of birds

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Speaker 1: moving through the sky like they're connected. They're connected, they're

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Speaker 1: going around obstacles and they're moving somewhere together. And for

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Speaker 1: that to happen, there have to be these three behaviors happening.

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Speaker 1: There has to be behavior of connection, Like we're in right,

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Speaker 1: We're not spinning off and taking off. We're staying together.

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Speaker 1: We're sharing information so we can be kind of aware

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Speaker 1: of each other, and we're open and transparent about that.

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Speaker 1: And we're also know where we're headed. We like have

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Speaker 1: something in the windshield that says, this is where we're headed,

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Speaker 1: this is where we're not headed. So culture is not

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Speaker 1: like this sort of just this vibe. We always talk

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Speaker 1: about chemistry and magic of groups, right, it feels like

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Speaker 1: magic when we have it. Like if you were to

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Speaker 1: write now, think about the best most cohesive group you've

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Speaker 1: ever been a part of, Like you could close your

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Speaker 1: eyes and you would get a feeling like that what

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Speaker 1: it feels like to be with them and it Those

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Speaker 1: are like the peak experiences in life. But when you

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Speaker 1: x ray those, there are these behaviors underneath them. Right,

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Speaker 1: what we feel is that buzz and that champagne bubble

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Speaker 1: feeling of being with people we like to solve problems with,

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Speaker 1: we like to work with, and that energy and selflessness

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Speaker 1: you have in a group. But those champagne bubbles are

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Speaker 1: caused by a thing. There's a thing underneath there, and

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Speaker 1: that's safety sharing vulnerability and a sense of purpose, and

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Speaker 1: those behaviors that build that thing are what's fun to

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Speaker 1: tap into because then you sort of realize, hey, I

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Speaker 1: don't have to just like wait and hope for chemistry

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Speaker 1: to happen. I don't have to just sort of hope

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Speaker 1: that this new team gets along and we do well

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Speaker 1: on our project. I don't just have to hope that

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Speaker 1: when my kids come home from college for Christmas we

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Speaker 1: have a great time together. There's actually a they're there.

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Speaker 1: There's like moves you can make, things you can say

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Speaker 1: and do, and behaviors you can create, and spaces you

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Speaker 1: can create that help that happen. So it's a feeling

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Speaker 1: that you end up getting a feeling of like a

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Speaker 1: little more control over the most magical, mysterious part of life,

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Speaker 1: which is those relationships. Like that study said, like it's

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Speaker 1: all life is all about relationships. It's all about having

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Speaker 1: those peak moments, and if you can tap in to

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Speaker 1: the levers and tools that are causing those to happen,

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Speaker 1: it's it's a really good feeling.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's talk about that a bit.

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Speaker 2: I think one of the biggest challenges inside a company,

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Speaker 2: a family, a group, a team, especially in the beginning

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Speaker 2: is that everyone comes with their own intentions and their

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Speaker 2: own goals.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: So someone may be turning up to this job just

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Speaker 2: to pay their bills. That's all they want. They want

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Speaker 2: nothing else to do with anyone or anything else. Another

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Speaker 2: person's coming in because they're saying, well, this is a

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Speaker 2: long term career for me. I want to make a

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Speaker 2: name for myself. I want to grow, I want to advance,

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Speaker 2: and I want to get some goals at this company.

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Speaker 3: Another person comes in and they go, well, you know what, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Here because I actually want to learn so that I

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Speaker 2: can extract what I know and then go do my

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Speaker 2: own thing.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: So you have all of these different emotions, different intentions,

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Speaker 2: different psychologies in a group. I guess my question is

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Speaker 2: how do you then start forming culture when everyone's coming

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Speaker 2: for something completely different.

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Speaker 1: Safety is the foundation of everything, and people think that

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Speaker 1: safety is about like swaddling people in cotton and making

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Speaker 1: them feel comfortable, when actually it's all about voice. So

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Speaker 1: if your group were to walk in, this group of

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Speaker 1: diverse people that you're talking about, who have diverse purposes

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Speaker 1: in their mind, diverse goals, the first thing you would

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Speaker 1: get them to do is to say tell me about that, like,

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Speaker 1: what do you want to do about this? A beautiful

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Speaker 1: design company and ideo that you've probably heard of that

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Speaker 1: has this series of meetings before every team project. They're

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Speaker 1: called flight meeting, and they say, hey, this is like

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Speaker 1: taking a trip. We're gonna have a pre flight meeting,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna have a mid flight meeting, we're gonna have

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Speaker 1: a post flight meeting. And it's a little calisthenic they do.

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Speaker 1: The meetings don't take long, but that's what they do

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Speaker 1: with that first meeting, like what are you in for?

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Speaker 1: What's gonna give you joy out of this? What do

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Speaker 1: you want to learn the most? And you create awareness

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Speaker 1: to go back to that flock of birds, like you'll

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Speaker 1: bump into each other if you don't know where you're

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Speaker 1: at and if you don't know where you're headed. And

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Speaker 1: the other big thing that happens in those first meetings

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Speaker 1: is defining that north star, like what are we really

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Speaker 1: all about? Let's come to some consensus. You might be

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Speaker 1: into the learning, you might be into the status, you

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Speaker 1: might be into sort of the exploration and the joy.

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Speaker 1: Let's find some language around and let's find some way

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Speaker 1: to define what that is. And let's keep defining that

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Speaker 1: a lot of groups come together and they just sort

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Speaker 1: of automatically say, well, our job together is to do

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Speaker 1: a good job, right, Our job together is to succeed,

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Speaker 1: whatever that means. But actually pausing, and this is where

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Speaker 1: I think our work kind of or overlaps in an

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Speaker 1: interesting way. I think a lot of you always talk

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Speaker 1: about is awareness creating awareness and these moments, and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't happen by accident. It happens when you take an

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Speaker 1: intentional pause. I think what this culture playbook and this

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Speaker 1: cultural skill set in general is really about getting great

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Speaker 1: at pausing as a group. Like, there's all this skill

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Speaker 1: set to pauses an individual. We talk about mindfulness, we

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Speaker 1: talk about all of these habits and rituals and mental

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Speaker 1: calisthenics that give us clarity. Groups are no different. They're

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Speaker 1: also an entity that needs to navigate and connect and

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Speaker 1: figure out what's important and what's not important. And so

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Speaker 1: that pause where you say, Okay, what are you most into,

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Speaker 1: what are you least into? Why are you here? Where

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Speaker 1: are we headed? If we can just get some really

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Speaker 1: simple language around that, that is the first step toward

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Speaker 1: making us cohere and start to move together.

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Speaker 2: What are people's biggest fears when they're starting a new job,

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Speaker 2: and then as they progress in the workplace, what are

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Speaker 2: their greatest fears? Have you seen patent reset studies that

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Speaker 2: show that this is what people struggle with inside organizations

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Speaker 2: the most.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty contextual. It would depend on the specific one,

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Speaker 1: but I think one very common one is reputational risk status.

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Speaker 1: You know, I can't afford to look dumb. I can't

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Speaker 1: afford to display weakness, which is why in all good cultures.

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Speaker 1: It's funny. I really found this out when I went

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Speaker 1: and visited a Navy seal. His name is Dave Cooper,

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Speaker 1: and Dave, he's a pretty normal looking guy. He's not

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Speaker 1: the best shot, he's not the best swimmer, he can't

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Speaker 1: bench press the most. He's the great at creating high

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Speaker 1: trust teams. That's what he's really great at. And he

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Speaker 1: actually trained the seal Team six that got bin laden.

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Speaker 1: And while we're at breakfast, he says these words. He says,

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Speaker 1: you know, the foremost important words a leader can say,

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Speaker 1: I screwed that up. Just really intriguing. Right, like Navy seals,

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Speaker 1: you should be pretty confident. You should be pretty bulletproof

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Speaker 1: metaphorically and literally, and yet here he is talking about

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Speaker 1: this profound fallibility, and I think what that sheds a

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Speaker 1: light on is how important sharing vulnerability is, especially if

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Speaker 1: you're in a position of power, because that gives everyone,

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Speaker 1: especially people new to the organization, a clear sense that, hey,

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Speaker 1: this is good to talk about this. We're here to

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Speaker 1: get better together. We're here to give each other, make

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Speaker 1: each other better and share that feedback and be fallible

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Speaker 1: and be weak. So it's really important to make that

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Speaker 1: to make that have that moment happen early on. You know,

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Speaker 1: in groups forms, there's like three critical moments when every

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Speaker 1: group forms. Moment one like the first five minutes you're together,

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Speaker 1: it's a big deal, like how are you going to

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Speaker 1: get along? Is it safe? Do people care? Does everyone

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Speaker 1: have a voice? Second one is the first disagreement. We're

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Speaker 1: going to disagree at some point, right, We're going to disagree,

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Speaker 1: and the norms we form around that disagreement are we

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Speaker 1: disagreeing along task conflict, which is we're going to have

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Speaker 1: our ideas, are going to fight and that's a good

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Speaker 1: sort of fight? Or is this personal right? And the

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Speaker 1: third one is the first moment of learning what's going

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Speaker 1: to happen? Are we going to really stop and point

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Speaker 1: out the fact we just got a little better. This

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Speaker 1: is really cool. I'm really glad you gave me that

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Speaker 1: feedback to make me better. So those critical moments, and

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Speaker 1: I think in successful groups they're really good at managing

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Speaker 1: those critical moments, spotlighting them and normalizing them. So it's

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Speaker 1: normal to be safe, it's normal to disagree. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for disagreeing with me. Let's have our ideas fight it out,

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Speaker 1: and it's great to learn you just made me better.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. And if you get those moments right, you're

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Speaker 1: investing in in the future success of the group in

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Speaker 1: a huge way. And yet our temptation is often to

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Speaker 1: like walk past those moments. Right, We're terrible at pausing.

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Speaker 1: Most teams are really good at do do do do

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Speaker 1: do action action action action. Action in the world gives

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Speaker 1: you a lot to do, Like we've never lived on

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Speaker 1: a planet or in an ecosystem that gives you more

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Speaker 1: information and more to do. And so the teams that

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Speaker 1: have got this strength, the strength of pausing, do you

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Speaker 1: think it great at stopping and saying what just happened? Here?

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Speaker 1: Are we still connected? How can we connect better? That

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Speaker 1: That's where the real.

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Speaker 2: Power is yeah, absolutely, I'm implementing something new my team

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Speaker 2: right now that I've become a big fan of, and

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Speaker 2: we call it teach me how to treat you. So

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Speaker 2: it's people actually saying that, Hey, here's how I would

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Speaker 2: love to be treated when.

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Speaker 3: I'm coming in in a bad mood.

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Speaker 2: Here's how i'd love to be treated when I have

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Speaker 2: a bad idea. Here's how i'd love to be treated

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Speaker 2: when I have a good idea. Here's how i'd love

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Speaker 2: your response to be if we're working virtually. So someone

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Speaker 2: may say I don't like lots of messages virtually. I

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Speaker 2: prefer a phone call right than an instant message, or

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Speaker 2: I prefer i'm if I am feeling down, I prefer

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Speaker 2: you don't ask me about it and we just continue

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Speaker 2: as business as usual because that's easier for me. And

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Speaker 2: what I like about this is that it actually places

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Speaker 2: responsibility on us as individuals to have to explain to

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Speaker 2: others how we work and that first of all, if

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Speaker 2: you don't know that, you get an opportunity to figure

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Speaker 2: that out. Second of all, now you're not coming into

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Speaker 2: the workplace worrying why everyone's acting a certain way, because

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Speaker 2: you've actually asked them to be that way, and so

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Speaker 2: now you're free of that pressure of expectation of everyone

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Speaker 2: tiptoeing around you or not not knowing or worrying what

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Speaker 2: to do. So it's I'd love to share that with

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Speaker 2: you and go do you like that?

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Speaker 3: Do you not like that?

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Speaker 2: What part of it works? What doesn't work? How can

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Speaker 2: we improve that?

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Speaker 1: You must have gotten my memo on how to treat

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Speaker 1: me because I love that idea. I think that's it.

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Speaker 1: That's a really, really good idea, and you're not the

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Speaker 1: only one to do it. That's one of the fascinating

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Speaker 1: things about this moment. We're living in a lot of

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Speaker 1: change in the landscape, a lot of change, and one

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Speaker 1: of the biggest that's causing all these experiments. And so

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Speaker 1: what you're describing I've heard described as user's guide. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's manual to me. I mean, we can a quick

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Speaker 1: start guide with our television sets, like why don't we

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Speaker 1: get it? With our people that we work with, it's

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Speaker 1: the exact same thing, and it's very powerful because it

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Speaker 1: creates two moments of reflection. As you just described. First moment,

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Speaker 1: You've got to figure out I'm at my best when

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Speaker 1: I'm at my worst, when what I need from you is,

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Speaker 1: what I don't need from you is and then that

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Speaker 1: person gets an opportunity to see that and reflect. And so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that is exactly the kind of pause. I think it

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Speaker 1: allows a team to navigate together. And you know, this

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Speaker 1: landscape is asking us to do groups to do two

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Speaker 1: things that are very difficult. Right now, how do you

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Speaker 1: stay connected and change at the same time? You know,

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Speaker 1: hybrid work, huge change, social justice questions, big change in questions,

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Speaker 1: new generations coming into the workplace with a new idea

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Speaker 1: of the social contract around work, huge change. So how

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Speaker 1: do you like stay malleable? You know where I'm connected,

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Speaker 1: but I'm able to reshape myself almost like that flock

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Speaker 1: of birds and navigate together. And I love that. I

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Speaker 1: love that user's manual idea that you have teach me

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Speaker 1: how to treat you. That's really really good.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, And I love hearing the other language for the

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Speaker 2: user manual or the user guide. I think that's really

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Speaker 2: interesting as well. And I could agree with you more.

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Speaker 2: I think I love the idea of the pause that

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Speaker 2: you're saying and filling that pause effectively. And I think

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Speaker 2: one of the biggest things when I pause or I

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Speaker 2: encourage people to pause or I hear from them. I

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Speaker 2: know that a lot of people will be listening right

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Speaker 2: now and say, Jay Daniel, my workplace is a toxic environment, right,

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Speaker 2: it's a negative environment. I struggle with being there sometimes

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Speaker 2: I don't look forward to going to work, or if

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Speaker 2: we're working virtually, I am drained by it, not just

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Speaker 2: by the tech of it, but the actual interactions. What

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Speaker 2: does someone in that scenario, how did they have to

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Speaker 2: How can they think or rethink what they're doing or

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Speaker 2: how they can function in that space?

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Speaker 1: Don't think, just run. If it's that toxic, get out.

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Speaker 1: That would be number one. Number two is a saying

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Speaker 1: that I've come to really appreciate, which is that sure

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Speaker 1: is the fifteen feet around you, and there's a circle

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Speaker 1: of control. And there's a lot of things about our

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Speaker 1: life that we cannot control. There's a lot of things

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Speaker 1: about our jobs and particularly that we cannot control. But

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Speaker 1: having positive, healthy, learning, safe interactions with a small group

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Speaker 1: is a doable thing. It is an absolutely doable thing.

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Speaker 1: And one of the exercises we have in the playbook

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Speaker 1: is you have a you are the center of a circle,

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Speaker 1: and then you sort of track your map around you

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Speaker 1: putting the initials of people you work with, and the

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Speaker 1: closer they are to you, the more secure and strong

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Speaker 1: that relationship is. And the idea is to kind of

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Speaker 1: map that in your mind and identify where those strength

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Speaker 1: is and identify where you might want to build and

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Speaker 1: grow those relationships by sending signals of safety and connection,

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Speaker 1: by maybe being vulnerable a little bit, so seeking those

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Speaker 1: things out. And the other thing I think that helps

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Speaker 1: those sorts of situations is to put focus on the

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Speaker 1: learning piece of it. You know, that's the one thing

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Speaker 1: that we're work can often give us opportunity, access to

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Speaker 1: make us better in some small, meaningful way, and trying

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Speaker 1: to seek out those opportunities. There is another very simple

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Speaker 1: concept that I've seen some cultures do that I talk

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Speaker 1: about in the book too. It's called flash mentoring. It's where,

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Speaker 1: you know, getting a mentor is a really big ask,

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Speaker 1: It's a really big deal these heavy relationships. Well, some

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Speaker 1: groups have solved for that by creating flash mentorships where

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Speaker 1: a smaller ask you go to someone you admire, even

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Speaker 1: if it is a largely toxic place, find somebody who's

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Speaker 1: work you admire, and say, would you mind if I

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Speaker 1: just like walked you, you walked me through your typical day,

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Speaker 1: or tell me how you prepared for that presentation, or

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Speaker 1: give me some feedback on this. Smaller, shorter, coffee sized

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Speaker 1: interactions that are built around learning can be a really

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Speaker 1: effective way to get a little bit more out of

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Speaker 1: that work.

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Speaker 2: Dare Yeah, I really like how specific that is. Often

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Speaker 2: when we think about mentorship, we're like, I want you

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Speaker 2: to be my mentor, and it's like this big life

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Speaker 2: decision and that person may not have time, they may

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Speaker 2: not have the energy. We miss out on the opportunity,

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Speaker 2: as you're saying, to learn something specific in short term

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Speaker 2: that could have an amazing impact. And also that person

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Speaker 2: could see you apply what they just shared with you,

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Speaker 2: and then with that mini experiment they go, oh, I'd

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Speaker 2: love to mentor you further, right, So it builds that

435
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 2: trust in these mini bites and chunks rather than someone

436
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 2: takes you on. You can't deliver, you have something personal

437
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 2: going on, and all of a sudden they feel like, well,

438
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 2: why am I wasting my time mentoring this individual too?

439
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 2: Where that leads me to a really interesting places. Can

440
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 2: people impact and shift culture when they're not the boss,

441
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,680
Speaker 2: when they're not in charge Is it possible.

442
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 1: Yes, it is, it is. It's difficult. It's difficult, and

443
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: that the words that I would use are a word

444
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: that you just use, which is experiment being oblique. I've

445
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 1: seen people influence culture when they have a bad boss

446
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 1: and the boss doesn't want to change by providing that

447
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 1: boss with a book that might you know, sliding in

448
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,919
Speaker 1: their door, or creating a conversation, or forgetting the boss

449
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 1: and just trying to model and create what does a

450
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: great group look like. Let's have a coffee gathering at

451
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 1: ten am every Monday and start talking about creative new

452
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,959
Speaker 1: ideas and that initiative which is born in that idea.

453
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: That culture is the fifteen feet around you that you

454
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 1: have control over the signals you send. In the larger sense,

455
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 1: the idea here is one. It's a really important distinction

456
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: between the things that are complicated and things that are complex.

457
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: We often tend to think that culture is just if

458
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 1: I do the right thing, the right thing will happen.

459
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: There'll be some linear effect, like if I just had

460
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 1: the right thing to coss right. But that's not actually

461
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: how it goes. Culture isn't just complicated. Culture is actually

462
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 1: complex complicated things. There's a way to do it, like

463
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: it's building an engine of a Ferrari. Like I can

464
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,479
Speaker 1: give you the diagram and you can follow the diagram

465
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 1: and you'll build it. But complex things change every time

466
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 1: you do anything. So it's the difference between you know,

467
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: building an engine and raising a kid. So every time

468
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,719
Speaker 1: you do a little experiment, a little probe in the

469
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 1: culture area, pay attention to what happens and amplify the

470
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,199
Speaker 1: good things and kind of ignore the bad things. So

471
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: if you're building, culture is about doing these constant sort

472
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 1: of probes and experiments. Let me try, let me try

473
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: a book, let me flip him a video, let me

474
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 1: show her a conversation that I had recently, Let me

475
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: try this coffee thing, let me try that, And you'll

476
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: find as you sort of you'll experiment forward in a direction,

477
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 1: and like with any experiment, you'll make some discoveries and

478
00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: you'll and follow that energy and see where it leads.

479
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 1: You know, culture is not like legos. It's not like

480
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 1: you can just say put this thing on that thing

481
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: and this thing. It's a conversation. You're having a conversation

482
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: with your group, and in every conversation you send a

483
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 1: signal and then you wait and listen and see where

484
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: it's going and see what you learned and see what

485
00:23:58,920 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: I discovered.

486
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you're doing that, explore and discover. One thing

487
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 2: that's really interesting is that I believe, you know, inside

488
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 2: a healthy organization, you'll have good performers and then exceptionally

489
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 2: high performers. How do you go about managing an exceptionally

490
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: high performer within a group because often what happens is

491
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 2: high performers are just so productive and effective that they

492
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 2: either take on everything themselves or people may struggle to

493
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 2: keep up with them or work with them because they

494
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: can see that this individual is highly independent, highly self motivated.

495
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 2: But at the same time, and you see this in

496
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,959
Speaker 2: sports when I think about you know, when I think

497
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 2: about soccer, which is my favorite sport, having grown up

498
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 2: in England, you look at stars like Cristiano Ronaldo or

499
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 2: Lionel Messi or these phenomenal talents, and then in the US,

500
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: people like Tom Brady or Lebron James. Right, you have

501
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 2: these characters and these personalities. How do you effectively bring

502
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,479
Speaker 2: them into the world and help people Because in some

503
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 2: of those examples, there's a natural respect and admiration for

504
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 2: that person because of their almost elite status. But in

505
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 2: the workplace it's not always like that. It's not always

506
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: as clear cut as you know, this person's the one

507
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 2: who's who's gonna win us the championship, right.

508
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 1: No, it's interesting, and that's a great analogy with the

509
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:23,120
Speaker 1: world of sport. I mean, there are there are occasionally superstars.

510
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 1: The way the world is moving though, is that I

511
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: think a lot of times those superstars reputation exceeds what's

512
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 1: actually happening. Our world is so complicated that even with stars,

513
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: they are inevitably not solo actors. They're not out there

514
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: doing it around. There is a connective web of people

515
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: and information and systems that are supporting them. There's a

516
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: cool study that Adam Grant referenced in a recent book

517
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 1: where they took star surgeons, star surgeons from different hospitals

518
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 1: away from their teams, and they watched how they performed

519
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: when they moved to a different hospital. And the same

520
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,199
Speaker 1: thing with traders, great finance traders, and they saw how

521
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 1: they performed when they changed firms. When these people lost

522
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 1: contact with their system of support, their their performance went

523
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: back to average. I think the cultural move here is

524
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: to not to celebrate the star, but to illuminate the support,

525
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: to spend time talking about praising in certain case, illuminating spotlighting,

526
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: making mantras around the collective activity that's producing. Who passed

527
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 1: the ball to Rinaldo you know who cleared away the

528
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: defense so that he had a clear move in. I

529
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 1: think that's a much more healthy place to go, especially

530
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: as our world moves more and more into these you know,

531
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 1: collective spaces. You know, lately we've been seeing all of

532
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: these films about toxic founders of tech firms. Right, we

533
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: were faranos uber. And the reason that all those tragedies

534
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 1: happened was that everybody believed in the myth of the superstar.

535
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 1: Everyone believed that Elizabeth Holmes is different, Travis Kalnick is different,

536
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 1: you know, Adam Newman is different, and that is not true.

537
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: Like those people do not exist anymore. There was a time,

538
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: I'll bet Henry Ford had more in his brain than

539
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: anybody else, and he was the person you should go

540
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: to for vision direction and he had the answers. But

541
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 1: we live in a world that moves way too fast.

542
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: We move in a world that's way too complex. To

543
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,959
Speaker 1: go back to that word, to have any single person.

544
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 1: So if any person comes up and says I have

545
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: all the answers, that is a huge red flag that

546
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: they definitely don't. As Pete Seeger said, be wary of

547
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: great leaders, hope for many good small leaders, right, And

548
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 1: I think there's a deep truth in that. And so

549
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: having a system that celebrates stars is as we move

550
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 1: into this area, as we move into our future where

551
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: things are moving faster than ever, more interconnected than ever,

552
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 1: that's a less healthy approach than the team that we

553
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 1: have a bunch of stars and everybody's playing a role

554
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: and is aware and helpful, useful.

555
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 2: I really appreciate that, because, yeah, it's an interesting dynamic

556
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 2: because I think back to when I was in the workplace,

557
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,199
Speaker 2: and so I worked at Accentia for a few years

558
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 2: and you know, had a really great career there, have

559
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 2: a really great relationship with the company, and it was

560
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 2: a phenomenal time for me. I learned a lot, developed

561
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 2: a lot, and I found that there were some leaders

562
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 2: that were just exceptional at championing young talent, you know,

563
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 2: at other times in organizations, I found that a lot

564
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 2: of leaders are intimidated by young talent or condescending towards

565
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 2: and they feel like, well, what do you know, You've

566
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: only been around for two minutes. And I think that

567
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 2: balance is really interesting because as much as you don't

568
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 2: want to put too much value on star culture, you

569
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 2: don't want to damp and star potential because I think

570
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 2: that's I saw so many friends leave organizations when I

571
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: knew that person was really talented, and I knew that

572
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: person had so much to offer, but the company wasn't

573
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 2: able to understand and then dial that in. And that's

574
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 2: something that I say to everyone on my team that

575
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 2: as much as I want them to have a professional

576
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 2: goal and a personal goal they want to learn, but

577
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 2: beyond both of those, I want them to have a

578
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 2: goal that is about their potential, and I want to

579
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: be the person to help them fulfill their potential. Like

580
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: that's always one of the things I say to anyone

581
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 2: who joins our company. It's like, I want you to

582
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 2: fulfill your potential here or even if it's not here,

583
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 2: I want you to fulfill your potential. I want to

584
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 2: be a part of that because I know that I

585
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 2: would have wanted to hear that when I joined an organization,

586
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 2: and I never really felt that I heard that as clearly,

587
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,719
Speaker 2: and I found that you know, for some people who

588
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 2: is that, well, if you leave, then we don't you know,

589
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 2: you're no longer connected to us. And if you stay,

590
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 2: then you play by our rules. And I think that

591
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 2: was always a really, really fascinating thing.

592
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: So enlightened as there's certain points where being morally good

593
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: and being smart crossover and actually are the same thing.

594
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 1: And that's a moment where it is and I see

595
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: that over and over again. There's a I do some

596
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: consulting for the Cleveland Guardians baseball team, and occasionally one

597
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: of our assistant coaches will get an opportunity to be

598
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: a head coach and another team, and there's a bit

599
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 1: of a tradition, a habit of custom that when that

600
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: coach gets that interview, the front office of circles around

601
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: that person and helps them, helps them build their worksheets,

602
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: helps them build their plan, tells them what suit to wear.

603
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: It gives them contextual information and sends them on their way.

604
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: And it's a beautiful thing. You're losing someone, but you

605
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,000
Speaker 1: are deepening a relationship. And life is long. You know,

606
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 1: people will circle back around and you will always have

607
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 1: that relationship. And I think that's I think that's a

608
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:39,719
Speaker 1: very enlightened and wise way to approach that sort of

609
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 1: off boarding moment.

610
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think moving forward with that, there's something that

611
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 2: I find which I really loved from your book, and

612
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 2: I'm excited to see how the playbook makes this more

613
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: practical and applicable. And that's what I love about the

614
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 2: culture Code. It really dulls you into the philosophy, and

615
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: I'm guessing the playbook allows you to really, you know,

616
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 2: take action on those ideas, which which I think is

617
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: a brilliant combination. Let's talk wout two really interesting things

618
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 2: in the workplace, gratitude and appreciation and then feedback. And

619
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 2: the challenge with gratitude is that it can come across

620
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: as flattery and cheap words. And the challenge with feedback

621
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 2: is that it can come across as criticism or judgment.

622
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,479
Speaker 2: Walk us through what you found is the best ways

623
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 2: of showing praise, gratitude and appreciation and the best ways

624
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 2: of giving feedback inside an organization that actually helps the

625
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,239
Speaker 2: person digest how you're feeling and what you want them

626
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: to take away larger.

627
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a g I really love that this

628
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: idea around appreciation of continually reflecting back someone's impact, and

629
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: impact ends up being a really, really important word. There's

630
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: a certain kind of appreciation that happens to good culture

631
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: that is rarely talked about. It was introduced to me

632
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: by the people at Pixar, who talk about the pleasure

633
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: of solving hard problems with people you admire, the pleasure

634
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: of Harvard solving hard problems with people you admire. There's

635
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: a misnomer, sort of this mistaken idea that life in

636
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 1: top performing cultures is always happy and positive, that if

637
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: you were to go work at Pixar, that you go

638
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: to a meeting and every idea would be a brilliant

639
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 1: idea and everyone would applaud and then every draft of

640
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: the movie would be better and better and better than

641
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: the last. In fact, when you go to that place,

642
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 1: as well as any other place, it's not that way.

643
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: There's profound disagreement, there's profound tension, but they're circled up

644
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: around that problem shoulder to shoulder, trying to figure out

645
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: how to make it better, and that the pleasure of that,

646
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: the appreciation they have for each other in those moments,

647
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: is very special. In fact, people will leave cultures and

648
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 1: often come back for that feeling. That's a special feeling,

649
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: but specifically with appreciation. I think we have to go

650
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: back to that word impact. When appreciation is bad, it

651
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: sounds like sort of at a boy, what a coach

652
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: would tell a player a nice job, good job, go,

653
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: And it's vague, it's generalized, it's not specific to the

654
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: person when it's good. And I saw an example of this,

655
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 1: and I think I wrote about it in the playbook.

656
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: One example is a weekly impact note. There was a

657
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: it's where you once a week make the habit of

658
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: capturing the impact your team has had on the world

659
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 1: and on the group, crystallizing it in a very very

660
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: specific language, and sharing it back to the team, almost

661
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 1: like a little newspaper of the week. Here's the impact

662
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: we had in the world this week. This health clinic

663
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 1: that did it would gather patient feedback and they would say,

664
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: Nurse Johnson treated me really nicely, really warmly. They would

665
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: share that back. So that idea of continually reflecting back,

666
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: which actually connects to the purpose conversation, because you always

667
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: end up I think using those moments of appreciation as

668
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 1: a way to spotlight your north star as kind of

669
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: a beacon to say, here's what we look like at

670
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: our best. If we can define that and feel that,

671
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: and name those behaviors and feel those. The better we

672
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 1: get at that, the better we're going to function, the

673
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: better we're going to perform. When it comes to feedback,

674
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 1: I have a problem with the whole word. The whole

675
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 1: concept is a little bit off. It's wrong the idea

676
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: that someone can watch me work and get little samples,

677
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,240
Speaker 1: tiny sample sizes of my work, and then once every

678
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: six month, come in and tell me what I'm doing

679
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: well and what I'm doing poorly. The studies actually show

680
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 1: that most feedback is pretty darn and accurate. It's based.

681
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 1: We tend to be biased toward people that resemble us.

682
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: We tend to be biased toward the most immediate work

683
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:34,760
Speaker 1: they've done. It ends up often creating a bad interaction

684
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: because you have someone who is not informed and not

685
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 1: ready trying to kind of muscle up to deliver some

686
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: feedback to somebody underneath them, and it's got all kinds

687
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: of problems that break apart groups good feedback. A better

688
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: way to do it was taught to me by a

689
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: woman named Ellen ven Houston, who teaches leadership at Case

690
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 1: Western University. She flips it. Instead of giving someone feedback,

691
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 1: you ask them two questions. It's the more differently question.

692
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: You ask them, what do you think you should do

693
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: more of? It's a really powerful question actually, and I'm

694
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: not trying to tell you anything. I'm just saying it

695
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 1: creates a reflection where they have to say, what's had

696
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 1: the biggest impact lately? Where have I learned the most?

697
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 1: What am I most excited by? What you should do more?

698
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: And the second question is what do you think you

699
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 1: should do differently? That's without being aggressive or threatening. That's

700
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: another one that gets me to ponder where I might

701
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: want to change my mind. So creating these kind of

702
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: safe zones to have the reflection is really what feedback's about.

703
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 1: So I see a lot of groups moving away from

704
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: the big semi annual annual review where you're going to

705
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: get the truth which isn't really the truth from someone

706
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 1: who doesn't really know, and moving toward these coaching conversations

707
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: where they're continually asking those questions, what's working right now,

708
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 1: what are you excited about? What are you worried about

709
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: right now? Let's talk about that and see again, it's

710
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 1: that conversational nature of culture building that is at the

711
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: core of it's like it's like photosynthesis, right, You've got

712
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: to have these conversations and they'll they'll grow you.

713
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

714
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 2: I love how you just, you know, busted the myth

715
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 2: around feedback, right, Like I think that there's so much

716
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 2: emphasis on how to give the perfect feedback or how

717
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: to give the right feedback, And you do give an

718
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 2: amazing example that you I think extrapolate from both popovic

719
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 2: and school exams and school essays and how feedback is

720
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 2: given to students who perform really well in the Culture Code,

721
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 2: which which I loved, which was that safety making them

722
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 2: feel a part of something bigger and also sharing it

723
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 2: with them knowing that you're saying, I actually know that

724
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 2: you can reach this level, Like I actually believe you

725
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 2: can get there.

726
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 3: But what you've said right now, I.

727
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 2: Think is really really incredible because you're so right that

728
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: we think that based on a small sample of observation,

729
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 2: we can make a judgment about someone's performance, and the

730
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 2: truth is that we don't know their intention, We don't

731
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 2: know why they did that, we don't know what they

732
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 2: were thinking about. Maybe they were three steps ahead and

733
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 2: something else went wrong, Like we just have no idea,

734
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 2: And those questions are really brilliant.

735
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 3: I found this.

736
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 2: So in our organization, what we do is we do

737
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 2: a quarterly review, which includes a self assessment and then

738
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 2: a joint manager assessment. And what I find really interesting

739
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 2: every time I do that is how wrong I am

740
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 2: and how differently I'm thinking in the sense of often I'm

741
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 2: placing more emphasis on something else that seems to be

742
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: important to me, and I'm not able to see what

743
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 2: the person is emphasizing. But that conversation opens it up.

744
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 2: So we sit down and we're doing a you know,

745
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: they've done their self assessment. I say, hey, how do

746
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: you think you've been performing in this area and why?

747
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:54,759
Speaker 2: And they will list of all these things that they've

748
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 2: done well or things they need to do less off

749
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 2: or differently, and I'm thinking, wow, I didn't even think

750
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 2: about how off of those things, Like how incredible is

751
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 2: it that this is giving me an opportunity to even

752
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 2: be more grateful and appreciate this person more. And I've

753
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 2: found something really interesting. And obviously this is not verifiable statistically,

754
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:14,919
Speaker 2: because I'm it's anecdotal.

755
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:15,640
Speaker 3: For me.

756
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 2: I found that the top performers inside my organization are

757
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: people who give themselves lower ratings than I give them

758
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 2: so often that I'll be sitting down with some of

759
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:32,240
Speaker 2: my best people and in every review they'll rank.

760
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 3: Themselves lower than I did.

761
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 2: And I'm sitting there going I give it like you're amazing,

762
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 2: like you know you're incredible, and they they are actually

763
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 2: looking at more ways to improve. And I find that

764
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 2: so fascinating as a trend that I've seen over time.

765
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: I love that. No, it's very true. It's certainly true

766
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: in the sports world. You asked, you know, somebody's doing

767
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 1: doing Brilliantly, Ask Christianna how I was doing, and I

768
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 1: might not say brilliant. So it's a measure of there

769
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 1: in these internal narratives that we don't really have access to,

770
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: these internal standards, and an approach of humility. There is

771
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: a Navy seal commander who called it, called it a

772
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 1: backbone of humility that's required with leadership. And I love

773
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:13,760
Speaker 1: that phrase because the humility is really it's a strength.

774
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: This is not humility, isn't bending. It's actually being strong

775
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: enough to realize I'm actually only seeing a tiny part

776
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 1: of the picture here. And I need to learn. I

777
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: need to be humbly. I need to humbly learn what's

778
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: happening in this situation.

779
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think learning why people are making the

780
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 2: decisions they are teaches you so much more than the

781
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 2: decision they made. And so often in your head you're

782
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 2: telling yourself a story of like, oh, they should have

783
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 2: thought about this, and they didn't think about this, And

784
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 2: as soon as you ask them, you realized they thought

785
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 2: about all of that and more than you did, and

786
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,720
Speaker 2: you're humbled, And it's so much easier to be humble

787
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 2: in the first place.

788
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 3: You know.

789
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 2: One of the things that I genuinely struggle with, Daniel,

790
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 2: this is a personal question. Is this challenge that I

791
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 2: currently have in my life where not only am I

792
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 2: a host, an author, a coach in my own profession,

793
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 2: but at the same time, I'm a CEO and a leader,

794
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 2: And the time I spend on cameras in the time

795
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 2: i'm with you right now, or interviewing a guest, or

796
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 2: I'm hosting a TV show or whatever it may be,

797
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 2: I'm not with my team because I'm doing tasks that

798
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: are creative and outward facing. And so a lot of

799
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 2: CEOs may do a bit of press, but majority of

800
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 2: time they're working on the product with the team. They're

801
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 2: in those groups. They don't necessarily live this combined life

802
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 2: that a lot of people live today where they're creators

803
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: their talent, they're on camera, but then they also lead teams.

804
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 2: And I genuinely believe that my life is going to

805
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 2: be an experiment in figuring out how to do this,

806
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 2: because I find that naturally, when I'm doing more of

807
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 2: one of them, it takes away from the time I

808
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 2: get to do the other, and both are integral to

809
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,879
Speaker 2: the work I do. So have you found any great

810
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 2: stories or case studies of how people have created not balance,

811
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 2: because I don't think it's about equality. I think it's

812
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 2: about creating the right practices and systems that allow you

813
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 2: to operate in both worlds right.

814
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: A couple of things I've observed. One is that when

815
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 1: you look at any single when you think there's a

816
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 1: single leader, you're often wrong. There's often this pairing thing

817
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: that happens when if you look at Pixar, it's Ed

818
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: Capmill and John Lassiter. When you look at the San

819
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 1: Antonio Spurs, it's R. C. Buford and Greg Popovich, and

820
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: so finding this unique soulmate partner who really has a

821
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: different domain interest than you to make it work. It

822
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: is as you say, like physics is going to stop

823
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: you at some point, right, I mean, there's only so

824
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: many hours and only so much energy, and you've got

825
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:49,320
Speaker 1: a lot of priorities to do. So finding that partner

826
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: and cultivating, searching and developing that teamwork around that I

827
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 1: think is incredibly powerful. And the other thing is I

828
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: think always trying when you do have that fork in

829
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 1: the road where you need to decide between should I

830
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 1: be productive or should I focus on my people? To

831
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: bias towards your people. When you have that, if it

832
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: feels like a coin flip, go toward the people. It

833
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: was on a call that involved General Mattis, who used

834
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: to head up all of NATO's forces, and someone asked

835
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: him how he spent his day, and he said, I

836
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 1: spent about forty five minutes on NATO's strategy, and I

837
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 1: spent the rest of the time coaching my leaders. The

838
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: rest time was coaching leaders, Like eight nights of my

839
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: day was coaching my leaders. And those conversations end up

840
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: feeling inefficient at the time they feel like you're, oh

841
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 1: my god, I am not doing the important stuff, But

842
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,720
Speaker 1: in fact that's an illusion. You are doing the important

843
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: stuff because you're investing in creating clarity, a landscape, a

844
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,839
Speaker 1: connection that you guys can navigate it together. So those

845
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: are the two things that come to mind as you

846
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: mentioned that.

847
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I see myself moving in that direct of

848
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 2: wanting to you know, I constantly want to be spending

849
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 2: more time with my leaders and my teams, like that's

850
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: that's all I want to be doing. And I completely

851
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 2: see the value in that. And I'm learning how to

852
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 2: how to carve that time out because they also need

853
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 2: support and help and and you know everything else that

854
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 2: comes with it. It's not kind of like an outsourced

855
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,720
Speaker 2: delegation job, which which is not my style anyway, but

856
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 2: but I noticed that that they need that support from me.

857
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:31,160
Speaker 2: You've talked about having icebreakers or conversation starters for meetings,

858
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 2: and I love that idea because to me, like I'm

859
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 2: want to you know, I come from the world of

860
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 2: like meditation and porse and stillness, So for me, a

861
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 2: reflection question is like one of my favorite things.

862
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 3: And I have this restaurant in here in La that.

863
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 2: I love to go to called Cafe Gratitude because they

864
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,879
Speaker 2: always have a question of the day when you go

865
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 2: there and they'll give you the question of the day

866
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 2: as a table and then you know, anyone, even anyone

867
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 2: who's not used usually into this kind of stuff, is like.

868
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, maybe that's that's really cool idea.

869
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,959
Speaker 2: Right, So what are some of the ones those five

870
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 2: minute warm ups before meetings that help the quality of

871
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 2: the meeting itself? What are some of your favorite ones

872
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 2: or examples you've seen work really well?

873
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, this hybrid thing, it's weird, right, I mean, you're

874
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 1: creating this new space. And as somebody pointed out, is

875
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: a man named Glenn Fajardo who wrote a book on

876
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 1: virtual rituals. He's from the Stanford Design School. It's good,

877
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 1: really interesting book. But the insight he has is virtual

878
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 1: is voluntary. Like if we're actually in a root together,

879
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: you kind of have to pay attention to me. I

880
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: kind of have to pay attention to you. But to

881
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: be virtual, you actually have to create this, this shared space.

882
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 1: And this is a this is a weird connection. But

883
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 1: I was this weekend I did one of Tony Robbins

884
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,359
Speaker 1: virtual events. I gave a short presentation at one, like

885
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,479
Speaker 1: for forty minutes beforehand, what were they doing. They weren't

886
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,919
Speaker 1: talking about ideas, they were playing really loud music and

887
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 1: basically doing yoga and dancing like they were creating this

888
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: shared state, not saying that everyone has to do that,

889
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 1: but in this sort of hybrid world, to take a

890
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 1: minute and try to create some shared space. And some

891
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 1: of the ideas for doing that are, you know, playing music,

892
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 1: are having everybody like bite a lemon at the same moment.

893
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: Eating on camera turns out to be weirdly effective. It's

894
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 1: like breaking bread together is one of the more sort

895
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: of powerful things that people do together, and it feels

896
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: very strange to eat on camera at first, but as

897
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 1: you sort of get used to it, that can be

898
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 1: also sort of a very simple, powerful thing to do.

899
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 1: But whatever you do, whether it's you know, a little

900
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 1: guessing game where you play a song and guess whose

901
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 1: favorite song it is, whatever that might be, just think

902
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,760
Speaker 1: about creating that shared space in a way that doesn't

903
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: have to do with the work you're doing, in a

904
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,840
Speaker 1: way that just deals with the person the people you

905
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 1: are at this moment. All that said, it is really

906
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:50,879
Speaker 1: hard to form real relationships online the smart groups right now,

907
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: and the smart money is in toggling in having people

908
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,320
Speaker 1: if they are hybrid, having times where they are flying

909
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: and getting together for a short amount of time where

910
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,439
Speaker 1: it's maybe half fun and half work, but having that

911
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: time and not saying we're going to live completely in

912
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 1: the virtual world, because that physical connection acts like a

913
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 1: booster shot, like like now I really know you, and

914
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: now we can really work together.

915
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:16,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

916
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I'm glad you clarified that, because I think

917
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 2: a lot of this stuff is possible virtually, even though

918
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,320
Speaker 2: we know that it's better physically, but it is possible

919
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 2: to do these small games and ideas virtually, and that

920
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,280
Speaker 2: does form a better connection.

921
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 3: I know.

922
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 2: One of the things I was mentioning to people is,

923
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:37,719
Speaker 2: you know, I do feel we get such an intimacy

924
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 2: by being in people's homes right now, right and we

925
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 2: have for quite a while now. But one of the

926
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 2: things I would do is I'd always say to a

927
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 2: lot of people, Hey, I'm not being creepy, I'm just

928
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 2: being curious. I want to know what's in your background,

929
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 2: Like what's that a picture of or what's that behind you?

930
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 2: And I found that that just opened up such a

931
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 2: natural story from them.

932
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 3: And a natural question.

933
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 2: So I remember one of mys had a paint brush

934
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: hanging on his wall and I was just like why

935
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 2: do you have a paintbrush on your wall? And he

936
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 2: started laughing and he goes, no one ever asks me.

937
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, I'm asking you, so I

938
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 2: want to know. I'm being curious, not creepy. And he said,

939
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 2: you know what, my first ever job was that I

940
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: used to paint fences, and then I used to paint walls,

941
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 2: and he goes, then I finally got to paint homes

942
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 2: and it was like a summer job. And now he's

943
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 2: a big executive of a large company. And he was like,

944
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 2: I keep that there to remind me of where I started.

945
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 3: And I loved that story.

946
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 2: Then I started telling him about how my first job

947
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 2: was that I was a paper delivery boy, right, I

948
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 2: used to go around be a paper boy in my area.

949
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 2: And all of a sudden we were talking about first jobs,

950
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 2: and I thought, Wow, this is a really cool question

951
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 2: to ask people because it shares so much about their

952
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 2: history and where they started. And so that became one

953
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 2: of my favorite questions to ask people, is like, what

954
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:48,720
Speaker 2: was your first job ever? So I'm going to ask you, Daniel,

955
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 2: what was your What was your first job ever?

956
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was I was a greeter in

957
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 1: a hospital. I was like, at the time, I wanted

958
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: to be a doctor, and so I stood by the

959
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 1: door and kind of I wheeled people in and wheeled

960
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,400
Speaker 1: them out, and you know, new babies and pregnant women

961
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: to wheel them in and wheel out a new baby,

962
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 1: and it was it was both really fun. It really

963
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: gave you. So everybody comes to the hospital, right, you

964
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 1: know you however, you know smaller, bigger world is you

965
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 1: see everybody coming. And so that sort of interaction I

966
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 1: think sparked something in me as a as a journalist

967
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: and made me know that I never wanted to be

968
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 1: a doctor.

969
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 3: What was it?

970
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 2: What do you think was the biggest lesson you learned

971
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 2: from that? Like, was there was there a takeaway or

972
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 2: an inside that you feel really planted the seed in

973
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 2: you that stayed with you.

974
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 1: I think banter is underrated, Like I think it really

975
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,280
Speaker 1: the power of banter, the power of like just having

976
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,439
Speaker 1: a little light touch and being able to chat people

977
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: up is one of the strongest powers in the universe.

978
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,720
Speaker 1: And and I think that really showed me that because

979
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 1: you know, you're taking people and some of them are

980
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 1: in pain, and some of them are scared, and and

981
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,840
Speaker 1: those little interactions can have a big impact on the space.

982
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, what it would have been, I mean, bantering organization

983
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 2: is you know, I feel like it's at an interesting

984
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 2: time because everyone's sensitivities have changed. Everyone's like, you know,

985
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 2: barriers and boundaries have changed as well, for good reasons

986
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 2: and also some of them, you know, for personal reasons,

987
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 2: which of course has to be respected and understood. And

988
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 2: it's it can be quite hard to build a banter

989
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 2: based culture. I know that when people see me and

990
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 2: my wife talking, because we're both from London, the word

991
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 2: banter for us is is literally how our life functions.

992
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 2: And people see me and my wife in this and

993
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 2: sometimes be like, are you guys okay? Like you know,

994
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 2: it's everything okay, and which is like, no, this is banter,

995
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 2: like this is how we're playful with each other. You know,

996
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 2: often banter can be misconstrued. How do you build the

997
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 2: trust first in order to be able to have banter?

998
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 3: Like what?

999
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 2: Because I feel sometimes we do it the other way around.

1000
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,879
Speaker 2: We think banter builds trust, but often I don't think

1001
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 2: that's true anymore. I think trust allows you to have banter.

1002
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. In vulnerability,

1003
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 1: allows you to have trust, and I think the fastest

1004
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:00,720
Speaker 1: way to sort of build that is to do things together.

1005
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: You know, there's nothing like actually doing something in the

1006
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 1: real world that will create that trust, and there's nothing

1007
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 1: and to do it away from where you're not capturing

1008
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 1: it in words. I think one of the reasons that

1009
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 1: we're so divided and it's such a difficult time is

1010
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: that we're relying on people reading, and reading is a

1011
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 1: terrible way to get to know someone. Reading someone's comments

1012
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: these words they form in their head and they type

1013
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 1: them out, and then you read them and form some

1014
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 1: idea in your head. It's absolutely a terrible way to

1015
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: get to know someone. So doing something in real life

1016
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 1: is by far the most sort of powerful thing that

1017
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 1: you can do, whatever, as big or as small as

1018
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,759
Speaker 1: that may be. And also the power of story in

1019
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:44,959
Speaker 1: this situation, like you know, the story you just shared

1020
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 1: about your friend with the painter, the story I just

1021
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 1: shared being comfortable enough, And that's where those icebreakers, I

1022
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: think come in, because they they start at a safe

1023
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 1: place where they're going back to what was your favorite

1024
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 1: meal growing up. They started a place where we're free

1025
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 1: of kind of the larger political forces that were that

1026
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 1: we're navigating right now, and you start from there and

1027
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 1: then and then build up.

1028
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:07,760
Speaker 3: I love that, Daniel.

1029
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 2: You've been so generous with your time and so many

1030
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 2: great insights and advice. And at the end of every

1031
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:16,319
Speaker 2: on Purpose episode we do a final five. This is

1032
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 2: a fast five round, which means that every answer has

1033
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 2: to be given in one word or one sentence maximum,

1034
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 2: so you have that little bit of room to play with. So,

1035
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 2: Daniel Coyle, these are your final five?

1036
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 3: Are you ready?

1037
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 1: Right?

1038
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:30,839
Speaker 3: Bring it awesome? All right?

1039
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 2: So the first question is what's the best advice you

1040
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 2: ever heard or received?

1041
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 1: Look twice, always look twice.

1042
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 3: Oh. I like that. We've never had that on the

1043
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 3: show before. Really really like that.

1044
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 2: Second question, what's the worst advice you've ever received or heard?

1045
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: Trust your first insects.

1046
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go.

1047
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 1: I like that.

1048
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 2: I like that's that's so let's let's dive into that

1049
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 2: a little bit because I think people have a belief that, like,

1050
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:01,759
Speaker 2: your first impression is always your first instinct is always right.

1051
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 3: Why do you think that's such bad advice?

1052
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 1: Well, it's not true. You know when they look at

1053
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:08,720
Speaker 1: when when your studies of whether it's exams or anything

1054
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 1: Adam Grant wrote the great book called Think Again, all

1055
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 1: about this moment. But it were built to do. We're

1056
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: built to crave that certainty, right, and that certainty was

1057
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 1: useful for all of history until sort of recently, and

1058
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 1: now that that certainty is what is often dividing us

1059
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 1: and often causing us to make bad decisions. So being

1060
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 1: able to zoom out like that ability today we've got

1061
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 1: you almost think of it as you've got these two

1062
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 1: brains inside your brain. One likes to really grasp things,

1063
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: the other is able to zoom out. And so realizing,

1064
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 1: wait a minute, am I using this narrow spotlight right now?

1065
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 1: Or am I looking through my peripheral vision at more?

1066
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 1: And gaining control over that is a really powerful thing

1067
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 1: because it causes you to look twice yep.

1068
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 2: Third question is what is your current purpose? How would

1069
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 2: you define your current purpose?

1070
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: Teaching culture? That's that's the teaching the fundamentals. Teaching the

1071
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 1: fundamentals of culture. This is how this is how it works,

1072
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 1: This is how that language works.

1073
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 2: The question number four is what trait of culture or

1074
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 2: leadership are you currently fascinated by that you're currently learning

1075
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 2: about that you haven't yet fully grasped.

1076
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,240
Speaker 1: I think the power of group reflection, creating these spaces

1077
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 1: where groups can actually think together.

1078
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I don't think we figured that out yet.

1079
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 4: I agree it's crazy because we're hired as individuals, we

1080
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 4: train in school as individuals, we're assessed as individuals, we

1081
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,839
Speaker 4: think of ourselves as individuals, and yet all the big

1082
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 4: things in life happen because of groups, and and we

1083
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 4: put no energy or attention to figure out what's that?

1084
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: What's that? It's best?

1085
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 3: Yeah? I love that all right.

1086
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 2: Fifth and final question is if you could create one

1087
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 2: law or one habit that everyone in the world had

1088
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 2: to follow, what would it be?

1089
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 1: Be nice?

1090
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 3: Simple? Easy?

1091
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, really simple? Really, so you have to be nice?

1092
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,359
Speaker 3: How do you define nice? How do you define nice?

1093
00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 1: I'll edit myself. I'll say be kind. It's it's an

1094
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 1: action with consideration of the other. The kindness is of behavior,

1095
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 1: it's not just a thought. So to actually bring that

1096
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 1: to life, I.

1097
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 3: Love that everyone. This is Daniel Coyle.

1098
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 2: The book is the Culture Playbook, sixty highly effective actions

1099
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 2: to help your group succeed. Highly recommend you get the

1100
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 2: Culture Code and the Culture Playbook. I know I'm going

1101
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 2: to be ordering the Culture playbook straight away, so make

1102
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 2: sure you do that as well. It's just brilliant to

1103
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 2: understand Daniel's ideas and the research and the studies that

1104
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 2: he shares inside the book, but then to have these

1105
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,359
Speaker 2: sixty highly effective actions to help you actually take action

1106
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:39,319
Speaker 2: and apply on those. I mean, you couldn't find a

1107
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 2: better combination, to be honest. So I really hope you're

1108
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 2: going to go and grab both copies. Will put the

1109
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:47,399
Speaker 2: links into the podcast section. Daniel, any last words, any

1110
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 2: last thoughts. You've been incredible. I'm so grateful to get

1111
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 2: to meet you. I'm excited to develop our connection and

1112
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,959
Speaker 2: relationship more as well. But any final words or final

1113
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,359
Speaker 2: thoughts you want to share me too?

1114
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. You're very good at what you do.

1115
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 1: I think you model the sort of connective sensitivity, insight,

1116
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 1: and curiosity that good culture is made of. So thanks

1117
00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 1: for letting me be part of it.

1118
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 3: Thank you. That means a lot.

1119
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, A lot of the questions today were for me.

1120
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 2: A lot of them were things that I'm fascinated by,

1121
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 2: and I left everything else in the book. There is

1122
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 2: so many amazing insights in the book that I didn't

1123
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 2: even dive into today. Everyone because I want you to

1124
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 2: read the book. It's brilliant. So Daniel, thank you so

1125
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 2: much again, have a great, great day, and I really

1126
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 2: appreciate meeting you.

1127
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:28,839
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

1128
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 1: Same here, Jay, look forward to next time.

1129
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 2: We all know that fame is not the same as success,

1130
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 2: and yet society makes it so easy to slip into

1131
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 2: thinking there's no difference between the two. So today I

1132
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 2: want to bring it back to what really matters, doing

1133
00:55:56,360 --> 00:56:01,759
Speaker 2: good work, making an impact, feeling for fulfilled. The next

1134
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 2: seven minutes are about your aims in life and how

1135
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 2: to live with purpose. I'm Jay Shaddy. Welcome to the

1136
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:16,240
Speaker 2: Daily Jay. Let's begin by giving attention to our breath

1137
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 2: and getting centered inhaling deeply in and slowly letting it out,

1138
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:36,240
Speaker 2: feeling your body reached towards the sky and fall lightly

1139
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:48,760
Speaker 2: back to Earth, drawing energy from the air and releasing tension.

1140
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,439
Speaker 2: Now let me ask you, have you ever heard the

1141
00:56:56,480 --> 00:57:01,279
Speaker 2: song California Dreaming by the Mamas and the Pappas. How

1142
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 2: about Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys or I Got

1143
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 2: You Babe by Sonny and Cher. I would sing them

1144
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,760
Speaker 2: for you, but I want you to keep listening. Seriously, though,

1145
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 2: if you've ever heard any of these three songs, then

1146
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 2: you're familiar with the work of a legendary group of

1147
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: studio musicians known as the Wrecking Crew. Studio musicians are

1148
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 2: contractors who play instruments on albums by other artists. They're

1149
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 2: often exceptionally skilled, and the members of the Wrecking Crew

1150
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 2: were as good as it gets. They recorded hundreds of

1151
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 2: top forty hits in the sixties and seventies, playing with

1152
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 2: all kinds of bands, the Monkeys, the Birds, Frank and

1153
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 2: Nancy Sinatra. Their impact on popular music is hard to fathom. However,

1154
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 2: their work went largely unnoticed by the public. In fact,

1155
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 2: I'd be willing to bet that before today you probably

1156
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 2: hadn't heard of them. And here's why our society venerates

1157
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 2: the frontman. We celebrate the rock god, the CEO, the MVP.

1158
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 2: We idolize famous individuals so much we might believe that

1159
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:25,400
Speaker 2: real success equals stardom, that our effort is meaningless without

1160
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 2: public recognition. But that couldn't be further from the truth.

1161
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 2: Celebrity is not a prerequisite for impact, nor is it

1162
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 2: a necessary ingredient for happiness, purpose or fulfillment. Not to

1163
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,959
Speaker 2: say there's anything wrong with fame. It can be quite

1164
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 2: useful when channeled responsibly, and it can come as a

1165
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 2: natural byproduct of creating something meaningful or memorable. But it's

1166
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 2: much more important to focus on doing your best work

1167
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:03,200
Speaker 2: and acknowledging the payoff that comes from within. You should

1168
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 2: take pleasure from knowing that you're doing well rather than

1169
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 2: having other people think you are. Now, I'm not saying

1170
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 2: you don't deserve to be appreciated for your efforts. The

1171
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:18,200
Speaker 2: Wrecking Crew may not have been a household name, but

1172
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 2: in the recording industry they were held in high regard

1173
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 2: and were compensated well for their services. What I'm saying

1174
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 2: is that there's no shame in playing a supporting role

1175
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 2: if that's what you enjoy or that's where you end up.

1176
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 2: In the documentary Twenty Feet from Stardom, accomplished backup singer

1177
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:44,959
Speaker 2: Lisa Fisher says, I reject the notion that the job

1178
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 2: you excel at is somehow not enough to aspire to.

1179
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 2: So I'm giving you permission right here, right now to

1180
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 2: celebrate your integral role, whether it's in the spotlight or not.

1181
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 2: Because you don't have to be a superstar to do

1182
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 2: good work. To make a difference to feel fulfilled and

1183
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 2: to live a life of purpose. And now let's meditate

1184
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 2: on that. Start by getting a little more comfortable wherever

1185
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 2: you are, tuning into yourself and tuning into this moment

1186
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 2: for the next two minutes. See if you can let

1187
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 2: go of judgment and analysis, allowing yourself to sink in.

1188
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 2: Today we're going to connect with some words of acceptance

1189
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 2: and compassion towards yourself and others. You can repeat them

1190
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 2: silently or just take them in. All I need to

1191
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 2: do is love myself. Well, this will be enough. All

1192
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 2: I need to do is love others. Well, this will

1193
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:34,360
Speaker 2: be enough. All I need to do is love my life. Well,

1194
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 2: this will be enough. Let that marinate a bit. All

1195
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:54,080
Speaker 2: I need to do is love myself, well, this will

1196
01:01:54,120 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 2: be enough. All I need to do is love others, well,

1197
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:12,280
Speaker 2: this will be enough. All I need to do is

1198
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 2: love my life. Well, this will be enough. And now

1199
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 2: let's open this up. I'd like you to reflect on

1200
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 2: what success means to you and whether your definition could

1201
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 2: use a little tweak. How are you currently making an impact?

1202
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 2: How are you moving in the direction of a more

1203
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 2: purposeful life. Hopefully the Daily Jay is helping you head

1204
01:02:57,200 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 2: in that direction, and I'd love it if you shared

1205
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 2: this program with someone who matters to you. I wish

1206
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 2: you success and happiness in everything you do. I'm grateful

1207
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 2: for you, and I hope to see you again tomorrow