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Speaker 1: Order a fresh show. It's Geeky's cord and it goes

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Speaker 1: new segment alert. I swear I'm not high, but no,

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Speaker 1: it's been a segment. Thank you. No, it's been one

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Speaker 1: for some time, but welcome if you're new to the thing.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people are worried about the bugs. Several

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Speaker 1: of my personal friends have texted me and said, no,

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Speaker 1: that's it's valid, like the culture shock for these bugs.

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Speaker 2: You know, you land and you're like, where am I?

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Speaker 1: And then also, I don't know how many things we

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Speaker 1: screwed up in that last segment factually, but the cat's

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Speaker 1: name is Oliver, or the due's name is Oliver, the

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Speaker 1: cat's name is Phoenix. It doesn't matter. You knew what

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Speaker 1: I was talking about. Thank you for correcting me, and

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Speaker 1: I'm fine with that. But everyone knew I was talking

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Speaker 1: about doing it in a boat. Okay, you quit his job.

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Speaker 3: Exactly.

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Speaker 2: I think about this fantasy all the time. I do,

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Speaker 2: I really do.

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Speaker 1: I think about like because it's radio, and they'll one

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Speaker 1: day they'll build make me get up at four in

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Speaker 1: the morning, come in here, do a show, and then

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Speaker 1: when I walk out, they'll be standing there and they'll say,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's been nice. You can get the hell

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Speaker 1: out of here. It's radio.

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Speaker 2: It will happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Unfortunately, it's the way it is. And you

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Speaker 1: guys can you know, protest if you want or whatever.

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Speaker 1: But it's just this, this is a business that we

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Speaker 1: work in. And I've thought about the fantasy of like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I would I would immediately just go

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Speaker 1: right to the airport and get a ticket and I

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Speaker 1: would just go and I would You'd never see me again.

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Speaker 1: And that would work for about the first probably three hours,

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Speaker 1: and then I'd be on that plane. I'd be like, yes,

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Speaker 1: wait time, and then I'd go, oh my god, I

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Speaker 1: don't have a job. And then the rest of the

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Speaker 1: trip would be ruined because I'd be freaking out the

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Speaker 1: whole time. I don't think I have it in me

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Speaker 1: just to go. You know what, led Alan Jackson take

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Speaker 1: the wheel. Either one of them, the defense attorney or

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Speaker 1: the very alive country side All right, Kiki's court judge, Kiki, Hey,

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Speaker 1: what say you?

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Speaker 4: Who is hot in his robe? Let's get into the courtroom.

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Speaker 4: This one says, Hey, kikey am I wrong for feeling

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Speaker 4: a new level of hate for my daughter in law.

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Speaker 4: I'm a sixty year old mom of three adult children,

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Speaker 4: and for over twenty years I've hosted a Mother's Day

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Speaker 4: lunch at my house.

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Speaker 3: It's a tradition.

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Speaker 4: My kids bring flowers, we eat, we laugh, and I

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Speaker 4: get to spend time with the people that I raised.

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Speaker 3: It means everything to me.

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Speaker 4: This year, my oldest son Ben called and said he

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Speaker 4: would not be coming. He said he was spending the

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Speaker 4: day with his wife, Rachel and their kids. Apparently she

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Speaker 4: asked for a quiet day at home, breakfast in bed,

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Speaker 4: no visitors, and no driving.

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Speaker 3: I was stunned.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't believe she convinced my son to skip the

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Speaker 4: lunch entirely, not even stopping by, not even for an hour.

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Speaker 4: I said, Rachel is not your mother, and this day

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Speaker 4: is not about her. She gets a birthday, she gets anniversaries.

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Speaker 4: Can I have my one day? I told him I

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Speaker 4: felt like he was choosing her over his own mother.

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Speaker 4: He said, Rachel's been stressed with the kids and that

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Speaker 4: this is the only thing that she wanted. I get that,

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Speaker 4: but why does her day dictate what happens with me

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Speaker 4: and my son. He offered to call me and maybe

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Speaker 4: come by later in the week, and I told him

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Speaker 4: that was not the same. So I text his wife

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Speaker 4: and said, listen, I know you lost your mom five

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Speaker 4: years years ago, so maybe you don't understand how Yeah,

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Speaker 4: so maybe you don't understand how much these traditions matter.

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Speaker 1: But they matter. Well that's a very messed up way

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Speaker 1: of saying that. But okay, now, yeah, your mom's dead.

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Speaker 1: I don't get it, like well, I had a mom

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Speaker 1: and I do get it.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, Now he's not speaking to me and

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Speaker 4: I'm questioning everything.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I was being a bit too old fashioned.

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Speaker 4: Maybe I'm holding on too tightly, but it really hurts

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Speaker 4: me that he forgot about his own mother on Mother's Day?

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Speaker 3: Am I wrong?

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Speaker 2: All right? Judge Kinky, I have some thoughts, but it's you.

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Speaker 2: It's your thing. What say you? You're the judge, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: your honor.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: She was definitely wrong, so wrong for sending that text message,

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Speaker 4: like you, any credibility that you had before the text

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Speaker 4: is out the window because the wife did not call

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Speaker 4: you and say, you know, he can't come see you.

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Speaker 4: She didn't even tell your son he couldn't come see you.

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Speaker 4: She just said she would like a quiet day at home. Now,

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Speaker 4: he decided not to attend the Mother's Day lunch or whatever,

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Speaker 4: so you could have taken that up with him, But

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Speaker 4: to text her that was so out of a line. Ooh,

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Speaker 4: I think that was out of line. And I think

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Speaker 4: you crossed the line by doing that. And I was

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Speaker 4: with you before that text. Honestly, I was like, Hey,

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Speaker 4: you know you are his mom, and it is okay

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Speaker 4: to want to see your kids. And no, no, it is.

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Speaker 4: It's okay to want to see you want to see

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Speaker 4: your kids. You're right to feel like, oh man, you

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Speaker 4: can come by, or you know, at least bring the grandkids.

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Speaker 3: But after you sent that text, girl, I have no sympathy.

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Speaker 1: I think if you live in the same town as

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Speaker 1: your mom and you're married and your wife in this example,

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Speaker 1: is a mom, I think you could celebrate both.

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Speaker 3: Right, That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I think breakfast could be about your wife and kids

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Speaker 1: and she's a mom and you're you know you have

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Speaker 1: obviously you have to celebrate her, she's the mother of

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Speaker 1: your children. But I don't know why that would prevent

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Speaker 1: you then from later in the day stop you might

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Speaker 1: have seen your ma. I wish I were in the

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Speaker 1: same city as my mom yesterday so I could have

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Speaker 1: driven over there and said hi. And if I were

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Speaker 1: married with kids, I would have figured out a way

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Speaker 1: because I want I know it's not their mom, but

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Speaker 1: I would probably want my kids to honor their grandmother too,

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Speaker 1: So there's a way to do both. I don't think

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Speaker 1: it has to be one or the other. Now, the

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Speaker 1: text message was out of bound.

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Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. Like, once she said that text, girl,

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Speaker 4: you are wrong.

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Speaker 3: You're wrong. But Paulina, I hear you over at your wife.

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Speaker 3: I'm a wife and a mother, so let me let

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Speaker 3: me hear what.

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 5: So I think it's time for mom to put her

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Speaker 5: bub away and it's time to stop breastfeeding her grown son.

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Speaker 5: That's my theory.

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Speaker 6: And I know for we're going to come for me,

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Speaker 6: and that's okay.

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Speaker 5: I only say that because at the end of the day,

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Speaker 5: you guys know how you feel. Like this man is

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Speaker 5: now married and he's got a family of his own, Okay,

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Speaker 5: so he can't he could see his mother.

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Speaker 3: But if your wife says, hey, I just want.

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Speaker 5: To do breakfast in bed and chill and do our

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Speaker 5: own thing, I think it's okay to start your own traditions.

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Speaker 3: And I stand by that. I do now.

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Speaker 5: If you want to go and see your mother later

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Speaker 5: in the evening or whatever, that's your own thing. But

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Speaker 5: we don't have to do like a who ha parade,

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Speaker 5: where like now we're gonna go to a brunch and

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Speaker 5: dinner and.

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Speaker 2: Like, why is mom's too high?

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Speaker 1: I meanay there either, momb.

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Speaker 2: I mean why is my mom's hu hambuba? Like put

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Speaker 2: them away? Mom. I'm always having to say that.

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Speaker 6: Well, she's acting like it might be because like.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I think you can do both.

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Speaker 6: Yeah saying both.

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Speaker 5: But if your wife says, hey, I don't want to

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Speaker 5: like do all these things of going out and brunching

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Speaker 5: and lunching and dinner, that's okay because it is it

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Speaker 5: is her day too. She's a mother, right, that's the

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Speaker 5: mother of your children. I think that's okay to have

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Speaker 5: your own traditions if she doesn't want to, and I

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Speaker 5: don't think grandma can get mad at that. I did

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Speaker 5: a brunch at my house yesterday and I invited my

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Speaker 5: mother and my mother in law. But that's the kind

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Speaker 5: of wife mother I am where I want to celebrate

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Speaker 5: with them in my home.

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Speaker 6: That's what I wanted to do it. I didn't want to

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Speaker 6: go out.

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Speaker 5: I didn't want to do anything after at two o'clock, after

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Speaker 5: a lot of champagne, everybody was out the door, and

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Speaker 5: that's what we did.

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Speaker 6: And that was okay, But that was because that's what

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Speaker 6: I wanted. My husband respected that.

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Speaker 2: I think you got a way to incorporate.

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Speaker 1: I think you got to find a way to incorporate both,

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Speaker 1: because I mean, it's hard to get into the game

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Speaker 1: of who's more important. Yes, that's your wife, that's a

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Speaker 1: different natee that the relationship is different. You don't get

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Speaker 1: to ignore I wouldn't get to ignore my wife, who's

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Speaker 1: the mother of my children on Mother's Day by any means.

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Speaker 1: But I also don't get to ignore my mom either. Now, again,

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Speaker 1: the text message was out of bounds, but she was mad,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not justifying she needs to apologize for that now,

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Speaker 1: but she was mad because she felt like she was

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Speaker 1: being prevented access to her son. So maybe it's not

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Speaker 1: a breakfast or a lunch the way that she's used to.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, again, if we're in the same city,

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Speaker 1: I can drive across town and I can give my

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Speaker 1: mom flowers or a Mother's Day card. I don't need

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Speaker 1: to I don't need to be attached to you simply

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Speaker 1: because you're my wife.

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Speaker 2: That's not fair either, And I do agree.

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Speaker 5: With that because I think, you know, like you said,

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Speaker 5: you don't have that where you can just you know,

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Speaker 5: go to your mom's house and drive across the expressway

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Speaker 5: or whatever. My mom's five minutes away. So I do

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Speaker 5: come from a place of privilege, right. You know, my

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Speaker 5: mom is very close to me physically and emotionally, and

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Speaker 5: I understand that.

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Speaker 6: But I do think, like, if your wife is asking.

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Speaker 5: For something a little more chill, a little more like, hey,

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Speaker 5: let's do our own things.

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Speaker 6: There are new traditions. I don't think it's it's bad

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Speaker 6: to respect that. Am I wrong?

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Speaker 5: If that's what you're your wife wants to do, it's tough.

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Speaker 7: I think, yeah, that would be. I would feel crazy,

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Speaker 7: like asking that of my son. Now, he is a

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Speaker 7: grown man. You pointed this out and it can make

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Speaker 7: his own decisions. So if Europists take it out on him,

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Speaker 7: I just as like the spouse would never ask you

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Speaker 7: to not see your mom on Mother's Day.

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Speaker 6: I have a lot of respect for that situation.

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Speaker 7: But I think you could do breakfast in bed and

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Speaker 7: then if she's cool with being alone and she doesn't

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Speaker 7: want to go for a little while, you can go over.

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Speaker 6: To your mom's.

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Speaker 7: But I don't think I'm looking at her crazy for

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Speaker 7: asking that.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm not cool.

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Speaker 1: I'm fine with new traditions, and we've talked about this

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Speaker 1: over the years on the show, but I'm not fine

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Speaker 1: with new traditions that alienate family.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you want to do your own thing,

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Speaker 1: you know, on a holiday, that's fine, But I don't

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Speaker 1: know why that has to exclude everybody else because I

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Speaker 1: don't think you would like it very much if you

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Speaker 1: were excluded because you were married, Like what if what

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Speaker 1: I don't know. What if the rest of the family

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Speaker 1: is like, oh, well, we didn't necessarily want, you know,

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Speaker 1: kids around or whatever. So you guys do your own

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Speaker 1: It seems to be, well, we have our own traditions

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Speaker 1: and we're doing our own thing and that's separate from

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Speaker 1: this family. But then when they want to be incorporated

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Speaker 1: in the mass group, then it's it's like, I don't think.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's an a la carte kind of thing.

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Speaker 3: You you can choose your saying, Like when.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, and if that requires a little bit

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Speaker 1: of effort then, which means we have to split the

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Speaker 1: day up, or which means that you know, and I

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Speaker 1: get that can be hard when it comes to like Christmas,

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Speaker 1: and maybe one person's families here, one person's family's there, Well,

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Speaker 1: then we probably have to rotate or something like that.

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Speaker 2: I just I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Family is so important to me, and I don't like

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Speaker 1: the idea, well that all of a sudden your traditions

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Speaker 1: become more important than mine. They might be, we might

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Speaker 1: have to adjust them, but I mean to say, like, no,

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Speaker 1: you have to stay here all day, you can't go

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Speaker 1: see your mom.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yes, that's all. I don't know how much time

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Speaker 6: we have left with mom.

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Speaker 7: But also once she sent that text, I was out

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Speaker 7: because you can't talk about somebody's dead mom like that,

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Speaker 7: Like that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I think when families grow, it certainly becomes more complicated

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Speaker 1: and more work, But I think it's worth it. I

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Speaker 1: think you have to do the work, yes, and you

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Speaker 1: have to make compromises too.

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Speaker 6: Hey, Clarissa, Yeah, I think Paulina has hi.

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Speaker 8: I think Paulena has it all right, Like she said

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Speaker 8: all the right words exactly what I was thinking, Like

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Speaker 8: it's just inappropriate. The text is way out of line.

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Speaker 8: But also it's really important, you know, as a mother

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Speaker 8: to be recognized, whether it's a mom, mother in law,

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Speaker 8: or even herself. You know, she wanted the opportunity to rest.

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Speaker 8: You know, we don't know if she was to stay

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Speaker 8: home mom, and that's hard being a staying a home

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Speaker 8: mom is hard, or she does both working again to

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Speaker 8: stay home mom in the evenings or whatever the case is.

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Speaker 8: You know, to ask for a little bit of time

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Speaker 8: to chill out is really not the heart of a

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Speaker 8: concept to understand. And you know, if the mom wanted

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Speaker 8: an opportunity to see her son, you know, try to

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Speaker 8: the son it was up to the sun and say,

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Speaker 8: you know what, my wife wants to do this. But

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Speaker 8: if she's okay with it, I'll stop for dessert, I'll

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Speaker 8: bring dessert, or I'll stop by it. You know, we

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Speaker 8: can go for a cos you run or whatever the

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Speaker 8: case is. You know, even if it is up to

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Speaker 8: an hour. But to bring up with the season mother on.

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Speaker 2: My day, that was not the way to handle that

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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 8: So I think you guys are all saying the right thing.

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Speaker 8: You know, altogether, boundaries are super important and unfortunately the

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Speaker 8: mother crossed this one, and it's going to be hard

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Speaker 8: for her to kind of bring herself back into a

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Speaker 8: circle of trust essentially with the mom who is just

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Speaker 8: trying to rest out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's gonna be a hard one to walk back.

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Speaker 1: I agree, Clarissa. Thanks, you have a good day.

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Speaker 8: Thank you to you guys.

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Speaker 2: Debbie, Hi, Debbie, good morning, Ybbie.

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying min you yeah.

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Speaker 6: Tell me why, I'm you tell me why?

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Speaker 9: Absolutely ridiculous. You get the whole thing started with a

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Speaker 9: twenty year tradition. You have twenty years where you have

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Speaker 9: your children. I have two, and I didn't even see

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Speaker 9: both of my kids yesterday, and it is hurtful.

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Speaker 6: Oh you don't really see.

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Speaker 9: Both of your children.

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Speaker 6: Okay.

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Speaker 9: But having said that, if I had a tradition and

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Speaker 9: which we do on certain you know, holidays, if my

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Speaker 9: children then said well, now my daughter, you know she

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Speaker 9: has a child. If she said, well, now we have

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Speaker 9: another tradition, I would have been like, but for the

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Speaker 9: last twenty years, you've given me this and now you're

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Speaker 9: going to take it away from me on Mother's Day. No,

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Speaker 9: you have to rearrange your schedule. You have to say, okay,

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Speaker 9: my my wife wants, you know, breakfast in bed and

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Speaker 9: a quiet day. Great, I've got.

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Speaker 3: This off, plans out.

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Speaker 9: You'll have breakfast in bed, I will get the kids ready.

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Speaker 9: We're going to go to my mom's and do what

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Speaker 9: I have done for the last twenty years, and then

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Speaker 9: we're going to come back and I'm going to bring

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Speaker 9: you something back for dinner. You know, it's really simple.

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Speaker 9: Everybody could have been happy, but instead it turned into.

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Speaker 8: This horrible thing.

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Speaker 9: And shame on the mom to for sending that terrible

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Speaker 9: text on this episode. Everybody, yeah, everybody, but especially you

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Speaker 9: have a new baby and you're gonna want to do

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Speaker 9: special things for your family, and you're gonna still to,

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Speaker 9: like you said, traditions of your very own. But that

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Speaker 9: doesn't mean you have to interfere with other people.

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Speaker 3: And I'm not.

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Speaker 5: I am a Yeah, i am an amazing daughter in

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Speaker 5: law and I will say that on this radio lot

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Speaker 5: and proud, and I'm an amazing mother. Now, when my

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Speaker 5: daughter is older and when she becomes a mother, I'm

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Speaker 5: going to let her pick what she wants to do

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Speaker 5: with her family because she's going to experience her mother's

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Speaker 5: say when her time comes, I'm going to be old

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Speaker 5: and wrinkly and sitting somewhere at home, at a nursing home,

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Speaker 5: and if they want to come see.

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Speaker 3: Me, I'll be so happy. And if they don't, I

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Speaker 3: can't be upset.

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Speaker 2: With I think you could.

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Speaker 1: I think you have a right to be upset if

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Speaker 1: they don't make any effort to see you on Mother's Day.

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Speaker 1: I think that is a fair other day. It may

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Speaker 1: not be in the form that you want. It may not,

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Speaker 1: you know, to Debbie's point, or I guess, sort of

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Speaker 1: counter to your point, the tradition that you have known

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Speaker 1: before another family was created might have to adjust. But

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Speaker 1: for her to be like for her to be like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're staying here all day because I don't want to

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Speaker 1: do anything that shouldn't preclude him from driving across town

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Speaker 1: to see his mom and give her something. Now, mom

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Speaker 1: may not get her way, and wife may not get

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Speaker 1: her way. It's going to have to be compromised. But

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Speaker 1: you might have to put the effort in because that's

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Speaker 1: what family is about.

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Speaker 9: In my Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I want to be clear though you like, I'm

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Speaker 5: okay with's like, yes, going to see your mom at

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Speaker 5: night or whatever, going to see your mom later in

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Speaker 5: the day. I don't that's nothing wrong with that, but

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Speaker 5: I do think your wife in a sense comes first.

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Speaker 6: She has to like that is not your new family.

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Speaker 9: Of course your wife comes first time, single day. But

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Speaker 9: can your mother have Mother's Day blunch like she has

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Speaker 9: for the last twenty years? Can you not give him that?

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Speaker 8: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You think? Do you think there's compromise here? I definitely

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Speaker 1: think compromise. Yeah, Debbie, thank you so much for calling.

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Speaker 1: Have a good day, But that really is that's the

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Speaker 1: bigger question.

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Speaker 4: Like when it comes to Mother's Day, is it your

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Speaker 4: wife or your mother? Because it's it's like Mother's Day

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Speaker 4: is to you should honor the woman who gave birth

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Speaker 4: to you, but then you also have this woman who

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Speaker 4: has given you children, and it's like on that day,

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Speaker 4: who really comes first?

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Speaker 3: For a man?

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Speaker 4: I feel sorry for a man who have to decide this,

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Speaker 4: but like, seriously, who is the who do you celebrate them?

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Speaker 3: Mouse?

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Speaker 1: I think mom has to acquiesce to the wife and

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Speaker 1: the you know, the mother of the kids. But I

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Speaker 1: don't think that means that mom gets ignored, yeah, or

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Speaker 1: doesn't get a visit or do you and you know

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Speaker 1: what that might suck? That might be a little extra work.

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Speaker 1: But I don't I get new traditions. But I also

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Speaker 1: think it's like, but you want to be part of

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Speaker 1: this family. Oftentimes you you know, mother, mother maybe does

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Speaker 1: a lot of babysitting, mother does, maybe's contributing financially. Mother

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Speaker 1: is you know, is a great grandmother. Yeah, so we

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Speaker 1: need to instill that in the kids too. Unfortunately, I

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Speaker 1: think sometimes people just they just draw the line and

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Speaker 1: pick and choose which parts of family they want and

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Speaker 1: which parts of family they don't want, and that's that's

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Speaker 1: very damaging. I think, I think it's just gonna be

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Speaker 1: more work, but I think you had to do both.

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Speaker 6: It's more work, it's good.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be rewarding though.

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Speaker 5: It's gonna be rewarding because, like you said, then your

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Speaker 5: children can see, you know, you're gonna celebrate your mother,

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Speaker 5: and you can celebrate grandma if grandma's still with us.

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Speaker 6: Like those are okay and everything is okay with that.

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Speaker 6: Those are great traditions to have.

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Speaker 5: My whole point was that the mom just has to

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Speaker 5: come first, and if she doesn't want to come to brunch, lunch, dinner, whatever,

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Speaker 5: she can stay back, and that should be okay for

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Speaker 5: every buddy.

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Speaker 6: Everybody should respect that.

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Speaker 2: All right, I wish we get to all these phone calls.

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Speaker 2: We can. The fun fact is next day here more Fredshell.

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Speaker 4: Next