WEBVTT - Steven Pressfield's Comeback Story Part 2 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:02.960 Before we dive into this week's episode, be sure to 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.960 follow leave a review like Comeback Stories, hit that subscribe 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.119 button so you don't miss any episodes. If there was 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:12.719 anything Donnie and I could ask of you guys, it 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:14.400 would be to give us a five star review in 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:16.720 a written review. Our mission has always been to reach 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:18.959 as many people as possible to remind that they're not 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:21.680 alone and that we all have a comeback story within us. 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:23.880 And we feel like you guys can definitely help us 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:26.920 push that message further by helping us in this way. 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:29.480 So we appreciate you guys more than you'll ever know 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:31.960 all the times you've supported us from the beginning of 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:35.320 the show to this point. So thank you, and let's 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:36.680 drop in deep to this week's show. 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.040 All right, welcome back everyone, We are here for another 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:51.560 episode of Comeback Stories. I'm here with my main man, 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.800 Darren Waller. D wall Good to see your face. 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:56.720 Yes, sir man, always good to see you. 0:00:57.080 --> 0:00:59.400 So we're back for round two with Steven Pressfield. If 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:03.400 you haven't listened into the first episode, I highly recommend 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:06.840 tapping into that one first before diving into this one. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:10.680 But Stephen has written over twenty books. His first book 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:13.160 didn't come out till he was fifty five. He's written 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.679 bestsellers such as the Legend of bager Vance, The War 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:21.000 of Art, Do the Work, and so many more. Steven Pressfield, 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:22.200 welcome back to Round two. 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:27.160 Thanks Nannie, Thanks Darren's great to be back with you, guys. 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.880 I wanted to dive right back into pulling out some 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:34.600 of the readings from your book The War of Art, 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:39.679 and the very first words in that book talk about 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.560 how the most of us have two lives, the life 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:46.640 we live and the unlived life within us. Between the 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:50.520 two stands resistance. Can you talk just a little bit 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:54.440 more about why those were your first words and maybe 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:56.040 break that down a little bit deeper. 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:01.080 Well, I'm definitely a believer, Donnie, that there's that we 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:04.680 all have a calling. We're born with a calling and 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:10.120 born with a destiny. We're born with an identity. We're 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:14.160 not just blank slates, and that identity, that calling is 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:18.040 usually the unlived part of our life. Were usually we 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:21.240 live out what our parents wanted us to do, what 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:23.679 society wants us to do. We go to school, we 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:25.480 get a job, we do blah blah. We sort of 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.840 sleepwalk into a life. Right, But a lot of times, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:32.560 there is an unlived thing going on inside us, a 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:36.239 positive thing, a dream, something that's that's our real self. 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:38.640 And you might ask yourself, well, why don't we just 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:40.840 do that? You know, Well, first of all, it's kind 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:45.639 of hard to know what that is. But secondly, there 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:52.440 is this this invisible force that the negative force that 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:56.840 I call resistance with a capital R. That is our 0:02:56.919 --> 0:03:03.359 own self sabotage. It's purpose is to stop us from 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:06.160 finding out who we really are and stop us from 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:09.960 living our dream. And for me as a writer, nobody 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:11.760 ever taught me about this force, and I never heard 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:13.920 about it. You know, it wasn't in books, it wasn't anything. 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:17.040 But I could feel it, you know, when I sat 0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:20.720 down to work, you know, and I could feel it 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.720 radiating off this little thing right here. 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:26.560 And so. 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:31.440 What stops us from living out that unlived life, that 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:35.360 dream that we have is this force of self sabotage 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:38.280 that I call resistance with a capital R. And that's 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:40.760 really what the War of Art was about and is about. 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.040 Well, you had me in those first lines, because for 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:48.400 myself personally, and Darren and I speak of this often, 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:52.000 is that this unlived life that I feel like so 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.360 many people are living in right now. And both Darren 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:59.320 and I had been given the gift of desperation from 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:04.360 our addiction, which ultimately streamlined us into a more purpose 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.720 driven life. In that the addiction and the shame and 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:09.960 the guilt and all the bad decisions that we made, 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:14.680 really identifying at the root of everything was selfishness and 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:19.680 self centeredness, understanding that the antidote to that was service 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:24.280 or is service. So I'm so grateful. I always talk 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:27.040 about my past and all the even the struggles and 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.160 the pain that I put people through in my own addiction, 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:34.720 but how that rocketed me into such a different life 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:37.599 where I feel like my life, my definition of success 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:43.039 would have been money, material things, and it's so much 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.960 more than that now and it's because it's because of 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:49.159 my past and then being a coach and helping other 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:53.720 people find their purpose. There's this gap. It's the life 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:57.080 we're living in, this unlived life. And so yeah, that 0:04:57.120 --> 0:04:58.599 one just right from the get go. 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.800 You had me, man, let me ask you something. Let 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:04.920 me ask you, Donnie, how do you help people find 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:05.679 their purpose? 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:11.479 So there's some deep inquiry and questions, but I think 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:15.479 it starts with figuring out what are your natural gifts 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:18.640 and talents? Identifying what are your gifts? What are your 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:21.440 natural gifts, What are the things that come easy to you? 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.640 What are the things that people ask you for help with. 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:27.000 What are those things that when you do them, it's 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:30.360 like time stops and nothing else matters, and so and 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:33.479 then it's also figuring out what breaks your heart, like, 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.599 what are those things that just break your heart? For 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:38.200 me personally, what breaks my heart more than anything in 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:41.000 the world are the friends and families that get left 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:43.719 behind when one of their loved ones dies from the 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:48.680 disease of addiction, alcoholism, or mental health. That is the 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.400 one thing, because I think about what it would have 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:53.839 been like for my mom or my dad to have 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:57.280 to wake up every single day knowing they lost their 0:05:57.320 --> 0:06:01.680 son and the aftermath that comes with them. So it's 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.400 this is why Darren and I are on this platform, 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:06.599 this is why we're talking about this all the time 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:10.839 to carry this message. So yeah, for me, it's it's 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:14.080 it's really figuring out what are your gifts, what matters 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.600 most to you, what breaks your heart more than anything, 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:18.760 and then figuring out how do we use those gifts 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:20.840 to be of service and share it with the world. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:26.000 Yeah, you know, I would answer, I would agree with that, 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:28.000 but I would add another thing. If we think about 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:33.719 what resistance means, I would say, also, what are you 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:38.400 most afraid of? What is the thing that if if 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:41.160 we could say to you, okay, you're going to you're 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:45.280 going to live this out, what thing would that be 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.200 that would scare the shit out of you the most? 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:50.240 You know? And that's because a lot of times I think, 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.719 you know, like Joseph Campbell had this thing of follow 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:58.240 your bliss right, which makes it sound like, you know, 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:00.760 just find the wonderful thing that you like and do it. 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:05.920 But I think they he left out or the the uh, 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:09.200 the idea that when you do have that gift, you're 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.120 going to have tremendous resistance. Like we were talking about 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:14.920 self doubt the last time on episode one, I think 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:17.120 that was where we kind of left off. You're going 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:19.920 to the law of resistance is that when you pursue 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:24.720 that dream, you're going to be terrified. You'll be you know, 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:27.200 you will be terrified to do that, and you'll be 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:30.280 racked with self doubt and distraction and stuff like that. 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:33.360 So I would I would add that too to somebody 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.720 you know, looking for a calling. If somebody asked me 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:37.640 as a writer, I mean, so I sort of knew 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:41.240 that that was what I needed to do, but I 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:43.480 also knew that I was just absolutely scared to death 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:46.360 to do it, and it took me years and years 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.400 even to sit down and hit the first stroke with 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:51.240 a you know, of a keyboard. 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:55.840 That's a very interesting layer to add to purpose because 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:59.160 a lot of times if we're doing something, we're involved 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.960 in something and it doesn't scare us to a degree 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:05.200 or make us question something, then a lot of times 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:08.120 we're comfortable. And I know, at least for me, my 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:11.160 best work or my best product doesn't come with me 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.600 being in my comfort zone. So there has to be 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:15.880 an element of fear. There's a difference between like a 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:19.200 paralyzing fear and something that's just keeping me stuck from 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:22.440 taking action. But I realize now as I look at 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:24.400 some of the fears that I have and I face 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:28.160 what the resistance looks like in my life today, it's 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:32.160 almost necessary for me to rise to another level, or 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:34.960 to rise to the occasion that is necessary for me 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:38.079 to fulfill my purpose. So that's that's very interesting. I've 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:39.200 never thought of that way. 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:43.000 Would you say, Darren, that like in terms of fear, 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:45.760 that it's something you have to defeat every day. 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:50.400 Absolutely. I would never say that there's a day that 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:53.040 I wake up where there isn't some level of fear, 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.120 some level of worry or doubt that I have to 0:08:57.200 --> 0:09:02.400 bring myself back centered from. That's just that's just what 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:04.480 goes on inside of me. I know there may be 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:07.560 people with different realities, but as far as me, that's 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:08.600 what's authentic to me. 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:12.640 I mean, that's my reality too, exactly. You know, it's 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.480 like the old thing of you have to slay the 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:18.840 dragon anew every morning. You know it doesn't it doesn't 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:21.200 go away, and if it does go away, I think 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:25.199 something's wrong. You better you know regroup. 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:29.800 I'm really glad you added that layer of what scares you, 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:32.600 because what comes up for me and hearing that is 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:36.360 it's just more public speaking like I've spoken on some 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:40.559 smaller stages, but also knowing that this is the evolution 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:44.400 for me, especially if my mission, our mission is to 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.640 reach as many people as possible and carry this message, 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.000 that kind of is the next step. And although I've 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:53.240 done it and I've taught yoga classes in Bryant Park 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.160 in New York City with over like three thousand people there. 0:09:56.200 --> 0:10:00.640 But teaching yoga is completely different than standing on a 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:04.000 stage I can channel and teaching yoga where it's not 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:07.520 me speaking, it's it's coming. It's coming through me as 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:11.560 a vessel. But speaking on a stage, even though it 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.840 might seem the same to many, it's still different. So 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.760 that's kind of for me, that's been my work and 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:20.640 my work this this year. My word of the year 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:23.920 has been action, and so taking action on those things 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:27.839 and leaning into that is is what's coming up as 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:28.720 you asked that question. 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:33.760 Mm, yeah, I think it's for me at least, it's 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:39.120 it's moving into from the known to the unknown. That's 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.280 sort of the fear, you know. Like for me, my 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:43.640 fear is like when I sit down each day to 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.760 write something, I've always wondered, what the fuck am I 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:50.560 going to direct today? Or what's happening today? You know? 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.240 And and the reason that it's scary, I think is 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:58.000 because it's it's the unknown. I mean, in sports, it's like, 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:00.920 what are you going to do today? Right? Are you gonna, 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:02.559 you know, have a good game, Are you gonna have 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:04.320 a bad game? You know? Are you gonna what's going 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:08.160 to happen when it's out on the field. But that's 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.720 that seems to be the nature of life, you know. 0:11:12.040 --> 0:11:14.880 I mean, and I wouldn't even say it's only human life. 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.360 I would think if if you're a wolf for a 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:20.320 hawk or something like that, they must have that same 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:22.280 feeling too. You know, Am I going to make a 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:24.000 kill today? Am I going to be able to feed 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.400 the family today? I think it just seems to be 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:32.520 the nature of life in the material world, which I 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:35.320 never knew for years and years, and that wreck, that 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:40.200 realization was really a turning point for me that this 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:41.920 is just the way it is. You know, you got 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:43.720 to get up every day and slug it out. 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:49.320 How is your relationship with death and the idea of death? 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:52.199 I'm just curious, with all this work you've done in resistance, 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:54.840 what does that look like for you today? 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.679 Ah, it's a great question, because actually the book that 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:01.520 I'm working on right now is about that. It's a novel, 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:07.280 it's a historical fiction, and you know, it's certainly uh 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:12.840 in a way, I think like life is kind of 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:18.200 a series of letting go of certain things right as 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.880 you as you age, right as you get a little 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.559 bit older. You know, you can't run as fast as 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:27.000 you used to run, you can't jump as high as 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:28.920 you used to jump, you can't think as fast. You 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.680 can't you know, don't even get into the area of sex, 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:35.400 you know, but you have to sort of make your 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:38.640 peace with letting go of certain things. And I think 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:43.040 the the the ultimate letting go is on your deathbed, 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:46.400 you know, of being able to, at least in my opinion, 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:50.800 of not of getting to the point where you where 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:54.320 you don't you're not desperately clinging to this thing you 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:58.960 know called life and where and that's where some form 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:01.320 of belief or true us or faith or whatever you 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:05.400 want to call it, I think comes in and you know, 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.720 just like jumping out of an airplane or you know, 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:11.360 floating off into space. That's kind of my thought. I'm 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:14.520 not ready to have it happen today, but I'm hoping 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.880 that when it does come that I won't be too 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:21.760 much of a pussy about it, no offense anybody. 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:24.839 I believe in that perspective, Donnie is one of the 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:27.679 things that from our conversations and our friendship, that's one 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:30.920 thing that's stuck with me. And then I thought about 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.640 a lot is death and like seeing it from a 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:37.680 reverse perspective of you know, when I am on that bed, 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:40.600 how will I have wanted to go out? You know, 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:45.240 what is the level of character or integrity that I 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.560 would have wanted to sustain by that time And flip 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:51.840 it in reverse and live that way because I really 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:55.160 have no control over when I go or when that 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:58.800 time maybe, but I do have control over a Moment's 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:01.880 a moment living that is to the standard and the 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:05.560 calling that is placed on my life as somebody that 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:08.560 really makes a difference. And you know, some people may 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.480 hear this and think that they don't really make a difference. 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:13.560 But it's not necessarily about the magnitude of the difference. 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:16.040 It's more so about what you do in your own 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:18.440 sphere of influence, whether it just be your family or 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.640 your children or the people in your cul de sact like, 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:25.320 it's really just making a difference there and doing that 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:28.080 day in and day out to the best of your ability. 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.560 And when your time comes, and when your death comes, 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:33.320 it's like, I don't think I could have done anything 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:35.880 else more. There may be some little things you were like, ah, man, 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.600 I wish I could have seen this or checked that out, 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:41.240 but in the grand scheme of things, of giving your 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.080 all into your purpose and really find out all those 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:48.480 layers that we just discussed in living in that way 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:50.440 that allow you to just take a deep breath and 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:52.880 be like, I think I did everything I could while 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:53.360 I was here. 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.160 Yeah, Donnie, what, Doney? What made you? What made you 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:56.880 ask that question? 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:00.640 A good question. It just came up for me because 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:04.920 I think I talk about this topic a lot, and 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:07.800 I see people in my own life that I know 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:11.920 aren't truly living. They haven't lived, maybe they haven't cleaned 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:15.640 up their lives, their side of the street, made amends forgiven, 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:19.080 maybe haven't lived the life that they knew they were 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:22.240 called to live. And I can tell that they're scared 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:25.400 to die because they haven't lived. And then I and 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:28.400 then I hear the contrast in the words of Darren 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:32.200 where I hear a man of faith, a man of 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.400 that's been on the other side, but is actually living 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:39.240 his life and contributing, And with that I think can 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:42.600 come at a lot more acceptance as to somebody that 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:45.960 maybe hasn't lived or is just trying to control something 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:48.640 they can't control. Because fear can either freeze us or 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:51.400 fuel us. And if we can use the fear of 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:55.160 dying in a healthy way, then it can teach us 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:59.920 to live. I always do this a little retreat, extra 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.760 size with everybody in the beginning. Whell I'll have somebody 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:05.480 look at another person and say I'm going to die, 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:08.640 You're going to die. All that we have is this moment, 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.920 and it brings you. It drops you into the present 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:15.320 moment right away, just simply saying those words to each other. 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:20.520 Yeah, that's great. Huh. You know there's a thing that 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.000 I kind of believe became. A friend of mine told 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:27.960 me this one time, and he said that people will 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:31.480 tell you that that life is short, but really life 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:36.640 is long, and we're all going to live. You know, 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:40.560 if you're like thirty three years old right now and 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:43.800 you're going to live to, say, eighty nine, that's a 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.960 lot of years. You know. That's like three careers if 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:51.360 you're in the Marine Corps something like that. And I 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:59.120 think that we need to sort of have an attitude, 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.600 not like, of all, I'm going to go out and 0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:03.880 party my brains out now because I've only got another 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.439 very short time to live, but really to really ask ourselves, 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:11.159 what are we here for what is our calling? What 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.480 you know, like when you're saying down here, people haven't 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:18.000 lived a lot of times someone might interpret that as well, 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:19.679 let's go out and have fun. Let's go out and 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.679 we're surfing all day long or partying, whatever it is. 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:28.200 But I think it's more about finding your calling, finding 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:31.600 your vocation, and then living that out. You know, like 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:38.840 Norman Mayler, the famous novelist, when he was towards the 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:42.200 end of his life, he's being interviewed and a reporter 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:45.359 asked him, do you have any regrets? And I know 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:47.919 the reporter, I know was thinking that he was going 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.480 to say, you know, I wish I had appreciated the 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:53.280 sunset more, or I wish I had spent more time 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.400 with my kids. But instead he said, you know, I've 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.040 got three or four more books than me that I 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:01.960 wanted to write, and I really wish I had had 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:04.359 the time I had the time to do that. So 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:06.960 in other words, I'm just trying to kick that living 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.959 your life over a little bit more into your calling 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:13.120 and your vocation and whatever. You know, that unlived life 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:15.840 that we were talking about at the very start. To me, 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:19.720 that's what when I think about death that's kind of 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:23.159 the whip over my head that makes me say, you know, 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:25.240 I got to get cracking on that and not leave 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:28.359 anything on the table when the time comes. 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:32.080 And it's interesting to me how people can choose once 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.960 they realize like okay, like I'm going to die, or 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:39.600 they realized the temporary nature of life in the grand 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:43.400 scheme of things, and some people go to partying and 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:47.359 using and drinking, and you know, it's what you know, 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:49.760 Donnie and I have done too. There are a lot 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:52.800 of terrible times in it, but also we thought at 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:54.400 a certain time we were having the time of our 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.320 life and having a great time. And it's like, what 0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:00.880 if the unlived life that people have inside of them 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:04.879 is has to do with them thinking that the only 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.040 real life they have to live is that partying, and 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:13.320 there's just an overall just level of ignorance, not like 0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:16.800 in a bad, arrogant way, but just not knowing that 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:19.639 there's so much more deeper. And that's why I just 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:23.320 look at those people with compassion, because you know, that's 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:28.040 just the best image of fulfillment or joy that they 0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:30.720 have to give themselves and that they have in their 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:33.720 mind every single day they go about it. And you know, 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:35.199 I feel like that's why it's important to us three 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.359 having this conversation here today is to get people to 0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:41.720 maybe not necessarily wake up in a sense, but just 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:44.080 a question like why am I doing things the way 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:46.199 that I'm doing? Then why am I going in this direction? 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:48.760 Like is there something more? And as long as you 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:52.480 can ask yourself that that question, then their odds are 0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:54.160 you're going to find something that is more. 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:58.040 So well said, I was just thinking about, as you 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:02.920 guys were having those conversations around death, why I feel 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:08.560 like I'm so passionate about mindfulness and yoga, because ultimately 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:11.200 it's about living a more present life. And if we're 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:14.840 really worried about how much time or limited time we 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:17.800 have here on earth, then we want to be here 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:20.320 for it, which means we need to be present. And 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:23.480 I think so many people are sleep walking through their 0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:26.960 lives or they're going at warp speed trying to check 0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:29.200 off the next item on the to do list, and 0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:34.200 it's basically being hijacked by this, whether it's a not 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:36.879 enough story or feeling like I need to do the 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:40.560 next thing to feel a certain way. And so the 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:43.000 best thing that we could do for ourselves is figuring 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:46.280 out the practices that allow us to be present so 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:49.920 we can truly cherish each moment that we have, each 0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:53.160 conversation that we have, And like Darren said, it brings 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:55.520 a lot of compassion up for me for those that 0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:58.800 are living such a distracted life, and especially our younger 0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:02.640 generation and our youth who have grown up with technology 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.480 and grown up with phones. And it's like, I don't 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:08.560 know what's going to happen with that, but it gives 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:11.200 me purpose. It breaks my heart, but it also gives 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:13.680 me purpose to know that there's a lot of work 0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:14.200 to be done. 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:18.840 Then there's a whole other weird thing, you know, speaking 0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:25.000 of time, that when you are doing whatever that calling 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:29.919 thing is for yourself, that time sort of stands still. 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.199 You know. It's like when we were kids and we 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:36.840 were playing outside. You know, we'd you know, the whole 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:38.760 day would go. We didn't even know where it went, 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:40.960 you know, we're just you know, I guess that's what 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:44.760 mindfulness is. I guess I don't know, but being you know, 0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:49.440 being so immersed in whatever it is that you're doing, 0:21:49.480 --> 0:21:51.240 which of course you got to love, otherwise you won't 0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:55.200 be immersed in it. Then sort of time goes away 0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:57.439 in some crazy way. I don't even know what the 0:21:57.480 --> 0:21:59.359 answer to that is or what it even means, but 0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:02.240 it is true, you know. It's like that's another answer. 0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:04.879