1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,360
Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh Sam, I love you so much.

2
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,520
Speaker 2: I love you almost as much as the great stories

3
00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:06,320
Speaker 2: that are about.

4
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,440
Speaker 1: To come up. And you know what, I love equally

5
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,879
Speaker 1: as much as the two minutes of sponsors coming up,

6
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,320
Speaker 1: because they support the show and make sure that we

7
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,400
Speaker 1: will have our happily ever after. I don't want my

8
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,080
Speaker 1: brother in law's toxic girlfriend in.

9
00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,560
Speaker 2: Our home, then kick her out.

10
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:25,239
Speaker 1: I thirty female, and my husband twenty nine male, have

11
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:31,080
Speaker 1: been together ten years whoa married five of those last

12
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,879
Speaker 1: three years, we've been making our own traditions as my

13
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,640
Speaker 1: in laws dynamic is incredibly toxic, and this is our

14
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,800
Speaker 1: first home and we'd like to incorporate a little bit

15
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,680
Speaker 1: of ourselves into our new traditions. I'm excited to hear.

16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,880
Speaker 1: So we now cook for my entire family and ourselves

17
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,960
Speaker 1: and deliver it throughout the day on Christmas. That's cute.

18
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:49,800
Speaker 3: That is nice.

19
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,199
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Neither Evening twenty six

20
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,040
Speaker 1: forty four And if you want to see your own stories,

21
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,640
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime. So I wrote

22
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,760
Speaker 1: it so a couple of weeks ago, my brother in law,

23
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,080
Speaker 1: nineteen male, graduated trade school and moved back in with us.

24
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,880
Speaker 1: He asked if it was okay if his girlfriend, twenty female,

25
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,160
Speaker 1: came over for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We said,

26
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,160
Speaker 1: not a problem. Well last night it became a problem.

27
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:16,840
Speaker 4: Dang it.

28
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,640
Speaker 2: We were so close.

29
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,240
Speaker 1: Brother in law's girlfriend is a I don't even want

30
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,119
Speaker 1: to say what. I don't even want to say it

31
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:31,920
Speaker 1: is a vegetarian. Oh I put this in quotations. That's

32
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,440
Speaker 1: all I've ever seen or eat is mac and cheese

33
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:35,960
Speaker 1: and pizza.

34
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 2: Those are vegetarian.

35
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,240
Speaker 1: Cheese pizza, those are vegetarian.

36
00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:43,920
Speaker 2: Wait, those are both vegetarian.

37
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:50,280
Speaker 1: We decided we're making loaded mashed polapanio poppers, stuffed mushrooms,

38
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:54,400
Speaker 1: deviled eggs, sweet potato cashle, candied gams, and ham.

39
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:54,960
Speaker 3: Okay.

40
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,840
Speaker 1: We have in the past tried accommodating brother in law's

41
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,280
Speaker 1: girlfriend's diet and it was a complete waste of time

42
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,680
Speaker 1: as she refused to eat anything we made all vegetarian based.

43
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,880
Speaker 1: So we learned a few months ago we are not

44
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,160
Speaker 1: catering to her difficult nature. It's not about diet. She's

45
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,160
Speaker 1: just a pain in the butt.

46
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,000
Speaker 4: Waitang, all of those things, for the most part, seemed

47
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,480
Speaker 4: like vegetarian.

48
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:19,840
Speaker 1: Like yeah, sweet potato castle, role.

49
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,400
Speaker 3: No, no, I think that they're saying that they did

50
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:27,079
Speaker 3: make the first comment. They're saying she only eats mac

51
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,839
Speaker 3: and cheese and pizza, but so they tried to accommodate

52
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,360
Speaker 3: with vegetarian stuff. But the first comment makes no sense

53
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,280
Speaker 3: because those are vegetarian. The second comment they're just saying

54
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,280
Speaker 3: she doesn't eat it because I'm sorry, she's a pain

55
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,919
Speaker 3: of the buck. Is she just a picky eater?

56
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,440
Speaker 2: I sound like sheetarian? Two things.

57
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,200
Speaker 4: That doesn't make you seem like a vegetarian.

58
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,520
Speaker 1: But also so the things that she could be picky

59
00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:51,280
Speaker 1: making the loaded mash jalapeno popper is loaded mash? Is

60
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,680
Speaker 1: that with like bacon stuff?

61
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:53,639
Speaker 2: I don't know.

62
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,720
Speaker 1: That's a tough question, but a lot of this, Candied Yams,

63
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,640
Speaker 1: I mean ham is not the only thing was hama.

64
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,560
Speaker 1: The other stuff was.

65
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,160
Speaker 3: Potentially think they're saying that she literally only eats mac

66
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,040
Speaker 3: and cheese and pizza.

67
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,799
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, maybe she's like a like a plain Jane. Yeah.

68
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,240
Speaker 3: Well, I mean also like a lot of people have

69
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,200
Speaker 3: like like who are Nerdi vergent like safe foods, So

70
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:16,840
Speaker 3: it could be.

71
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,359
Speaker 1: That an X that only ate white foods. What do

72
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:24,480
Speaker 1: you mean? What do you mean like white food. White food. Yeah,

73
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:28,440
Speaker 1: white food. She would only like she would like like

74
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,560
Speaker 1: only like like bread and like alasta.

75
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,680
Speaker 2: Those aren't white cheese, well.

76
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,560
Speaker 1: White white or off white and like cheese. But she

77
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 1: was she wasn't like vegetarian or vegetarian.

78
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:38,800
Speaker 2: She was just sometimes.

79
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, she got over it, I think when she was

80
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,360
Speaker 1: like sixteen or something for a long period. Yeah, in

81
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,840
Speaker 1: her adult but she was still a piggy.

82
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,680
Speaker 3: Eater, says yeah, my youngest inner texture texture issues.

83
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,320
Speaker 1: Well, last night it came up that we aren't making

84
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,760
Speaker 1: mac and cheese. Oh no, we made the viral tiny

85
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,240
Speaker 1: mac and cheese for Thanksgiving. We decided to remake the

86
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,720
Speaker 1: dishes from the Thanksgiving that got the most love and compliments,

87
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,600
Speaker 1: the one that people most enjoyed. Most of our dishes

88
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 1: have lots of cheese in them as well as carbs.

89
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,240
Speaker 1: We didn't want to add the mac and cheese.

90
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,760
Speaker 3: I will say, though, I understand that it's frustrating that

91
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,239
Speaker 3: you're literally doing all of this work and then she's

92
00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:19,320
Speaker 3: maybe complaining about her something. But I feel like, if

93
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,880
Speaker 3: you know that she only eats mac and cheese, and you're.

94
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,560
Speaker 1: Going to take out the one thing that she can eat.

95
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like, if you know she's going to

96
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,120
Speaker 3: cause trouble, I would just make the mac and cheese, would.

97
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,839
Speaker 1: Just get one of those instant I would just buy like.

98
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,799
Speaker 3: I would buy like mac and cheese for the store,

99
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,640
Speaker 3: toss it to her, just so she doesn't make well.

100
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:43,000
Speaker 1: This girl lost her crap last night. She raised her

101
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:46,119
Speaker 1: voice and kept yelling, what am I supposed to eat?

102
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:50,560
Speaker 1: There's no baggage cheese. She was insistent and braiding my

103
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,480
Speaker 1: brother in law until my husband stepped in and reminded

104
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,359
Speaker 1: her they're adults and could go to the store in

105
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,200
Speaker 1: the morning to make their own. She didn't like this

106
00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:01,520
Speaker 1: and continue to come planning. So I jumped in and

107
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,000
Speaker 1: said that there is boxed mac and cheese they can

108
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,440
Speaker 1: make themselves. I want to add that his girlfriend is

109
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,599
Speaker 1: high functioning autistic. I'm not sure this behavior is partially

110
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,119
Speaker 1: due to that, or if she's just a spoiled, rotten

111
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,840
Speaker 1: brat who's never heard of no in her entire life.

112
00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:21,039
Speaker 1: But I do not want this behavior in my household ever. Again,

113
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,880
Speaker 1: How the heck can I better navigate the situation while

114
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,760
Speaker 1: she's still here for the next two days. I'm so

115
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,680
Speaker 1: close to finding a dog friendly hotel and just going

116
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,719
Speaker 1: there with my dog and husband until brother in law

117
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:34,080
Speaker 1: takes his girlfriend back home. So am I the a

118
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,080
Speaker 1: hole for telling him when he takes her home that

119
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,120
Speaker 1: this will be the last time he's welcome here? Or

120
00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,440
Speaker 1: do I keep quiet until he asks if she can

121
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,479
Speaker 1: spend the night here in the future, to which we

122
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,560
Speaker 1: can kindly decline we have an update, But I want

123
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,559
Speaker 1: to know. Yeah, is OP the a hole?

124
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,760
Speaker 3: I think that you could go to your is it's

125
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,960
Speaker 3: the brother, right or the brother so it's her husband's brother, right, Yeah,

126
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,440
Speaker 3: I think you can go to your brother and say, hey,

127
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,120
Speaker 3: I don't really appreciate that, you know response from her.

128
00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:10,880
Speaker 3: There there's a better way of going about You're an adult. Yeah,

129
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,400
Speaker 3: how Yeah? Amy Lynn says, yes, you're the angle only

130
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,120
Speaker 3: because she has ASD, most likely with ARFID. I think

131
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,600
Speaker 3: there is. I mean, OP, he's asking, is this related

132
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,120
Speaker 3: to you know, autism?

133
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 1: It probably, it could be. Probably. Just because you have

134
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:27,040
Speaker 1: a diagnosis for something doesn't mean it excuses like behavior

135
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,120
Speaker 1: that is negative towards other people. And I think it

136
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:34,080
Speaker 1: allows you to understand it exactly and potentially navigate it better.

137
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,479
Speaker 1: But I don't think like you can't just say, oh,

138
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,680
Speaker 1: like she has autism, so yes, whatever wants, you know.

139
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,120
Speaker 3: I think it's a little like we're getting some like

140
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,200
Speaker 3: Opie is an ale. I think it's a little bit

141
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,240
Speaker 3: I don't want to say everyone sucks here, but I

142
00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:50,680
Speaker 3: think it's totally not cool that the you know, brother

143
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,040
Speaker 3: in law's girlfriend is just screaming at Op for not

144
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,200
Speaker 3: making mac and cheese. I think that if they knew

145
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,120
Speaker 3: beforehand that she needed she can only eat mac and cheese,

146
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,440
Speaker 3: then bring it or like.

147
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,200
Speaker 1: Like it was out of spite.

148
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing why I.

149
00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:05,640
Speaker 1: Feel it is a little a holy if. That's why

150
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:06,960
Speaker 1: I think she's a little bit of a hole that

151
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,279
Speaker 1: there's someone.

152
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,400
Speaker 2: Coming only eats mac and cheese, just eats.

153
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,240
Speaker 1: Mac and cheese and is like already particular and it

154
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,040
Speaker 1: is it that hard to have to not have mac.

155
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,360
Speaker 2: And cheese, Like she's just so easy you just buy it.

156
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,120
Speaker 1: I think you can just buy it and have it. Yeah,

157
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,120
Speaker 1: And so it did feel like it was if it's

158
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:24,680
Speaker 1: all you.

159
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,200
Speaker 2: Know, someone's gonna scream at you and then you set

160
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:27,640
Speaker 2: them off.

161
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what it felt like, a little like

162
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,800
Speaker 1: a little bit o PI did. However, like like though

163
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,840
Speaker 1: Op that there's a little a holy behavior there. I

164
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,760
Speaker 1: think the much bigger a holy behavior is screaming someone

165
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,760
Speaker 1: for someone for not making like what you like, right.

166
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's why it's a little bit of

167
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,440
Speaker 3: everyone sucks here. It's like op sucks for the intentions

168
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:53,080
Speaker 3: behind not making or providing mac and cheese, because she

169
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,840
Speaker 3: did it on purpose. And then obviously brother in law's girlfriend.

170
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:01,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, did they device that they wouldn't accommodate to her

171
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,880
Speaker 4: anymore and then like, hey, bring your own food?

172
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,600
Speaker 1: Does that seem like they said No, I don't think

173
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,520
Speaker 1: they did that. I don't think they Yeah, But also

174
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,800
Speaker 1: it's I don't know. I think they did have some

175
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,360
Speaker 1: I don't think they accommodated her specifically, but I think

176
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:17,200
Speaker 1: they did have vegetarian options that she she could eat

177
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,400
Speaker 1: how she says vegetarian. I think it's more along the

178
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,520
Speaker 1: lines of, like I forgot what someone said with the

179
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,400
Speaker 1: higher functioning autistic texture issues, Yeah, it's more that. And

180
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:30,680
Speaker 1: but also maybe that wasn't communicated to to Ope either,

181
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,120
Speaker 1: So it feels like there's a little bit of a

182
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,439
Speaker 1: lack of communication on both ends. I don't think it

183
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,920
Speaker 1: excuses the tantrum, but I do feel like we can

184
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,040
Speaker 1: we understand.

185
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,320
Speaker 4: A little, especially if you knew they were coming, and

186
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,760
Speaker 4: you could even do like, hey, we're making this, this

187
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:43,559
Speaker 4: is what's on the menu.

188
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, prepare for that.

189
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,559
Speaker 2: Commander Waddell says her red mistake. She lives with them.

190
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,600
Speaker 3: They're tired of making mac and cheese every day. Does

191
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,720
Speaker 3: she live with them? No, they've just been she doesn't.

192
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,760
Speaker 3: They're staying the thing for Christmas, for the Christmas by

193
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,040
Speaker 3: the way, this is Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, yeah, Christmas

194
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:57,800
Speaker 3: even Christmas Day.

195
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:58,720
Speaker 2: She's staying with them.

196
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,840
Speaker 1: So what would you what I mean, you have the

197
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,440
Speaker 1: relationship with the brother in law. I feel like if

198
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,720
Speaker 1: I was Ope, I would say like, hey, can you talk?

199
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,920
Speaker 1: Like I would tell my my husband to talk?

200
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe that's better right because there.

201
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,840
Speaker 1: And then I would be like, hey, like do you

202
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,280
Speaker 1: think that kind of behavior is okay?

203
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:15,800
Speaker 2: Yeah?

204
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,160
Speaker 1: Also, are you okay? Is that the kind of same

205
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,360
Speaker 1: dealing with in this relationship? Like, I don't know if

206
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,559
Speaker 1: that's healthy. And depending on what the brother says, it's

207
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,800
Speaker 1: like hey, like like she maybe it's like, hey, you

208
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,480
Speaker 1: know she's high functioning autistic.

209
00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:31,560
Speaker 3: Yep, maybe it's not as high functioning as Opie thinks, yeah, yeah,

210
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:32,480
Speaker 3: it was not.

211
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,880
Speaker 2: In like a bad way. But you know, like when

212
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,280
Speaker 2: you have when.

213
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,160
Speaker 1: You have to work with it, that she needs extra help,

214
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,040
Speaker 1: you know, like he could come and if he's like

215
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,959
Speaker 1: coming out from that and where it's like she's high

216
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,640
Speaker 1: functioning autistics. She knows this, She's trying to work on

217
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:47,640
Speaker 1: these things, but you know, like there's these things that

218
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,240
Speaker 1: just set her off, like yeah, like and I'm so sorry.

219
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:54,000
Speaker 1: And if she comes in yeah and also apologizes, yes,

220
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,120
Speaker 1: maybe we can, we can, we can.

221
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,320
Speaker 3: I don't think it's a jump to kicking her out forever.

222
00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,720
Speaker 3: I think it could totally be a hey, can we

223
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,679
Speaker 3: sit down figure out what your food, you know, dietary

224
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:10,120
Speaker 3: restrictions are, if we can accommodate. Maybe if we can't,

225
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,960
Speaker 3: we let you know an advance so that you come

226
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,200
Speaker 3: with your own food. Yeah, And it's just having that

227
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,040
Speaker 3: adult conversation without anyone yelling, without jumping to like get

228
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:18,680
Speaker 3: out of my house.

229
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think there is a there's a lot of

230
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,200
Speaker 1: tension right now that I think is having people jump

231
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,360
Speaker 1: to at their throats right now.

232
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,680
Speaker 3: And also Kim Robber says, Sofia, how is cheese vegetarian?

233
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 3: I'm honestly curious. So vegetarian just means that you don't

234
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,000
Speaker 3: eat meat. Vegan is when you don't have any dairy

235
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:35,920
Speaker 3: products like cheese.

236
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,959
Speaker 4: There's a lot of different ones too. There's like lacto,

237
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,040
Speaker 4: like they avoid dairy.

238
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:44,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it seems like a pie's brother in law's girlfriend.

239
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,160
Speaker 4: Is just a vegetarian or something.

240
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,640
Speaker 3: I don't Yeah, so vegetarian just means that you don't

241
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:48,360
Speaker 3: eat meat.

242
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,439
Speaker 1: So let's I think, op, Are you the a hole?

243
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,720
Speaker 1: Maybe a little slightly, especially if the mac and cheese

244
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,560
Speaker 1: thing was done intentionally, which it feels like, I don't know,

245
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,240
Speaker 1: like there may have been some there. Yeah, what should

246
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,760
Speaker 1: you do from this point? Have a conversation absolutely with

247
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,040
Speaker 1: your husband, to have a conversation with his brother. See

248
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,080
Speaker 1: if you can learn more through that communication and live

249
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,560
Speaker 1: more about no like movement on their side of like

250
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 1: any sort of apology, any size sort of movement. Then

251
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,400
Speaker 1: may say, hey, like like until until we we like

252
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,960
Speaker 1: until you can I don't know, be a little bit

253
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,360
Speaker 1: more civil in our house, Like I don't know if

254
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,920
Speaker 1: it's a good idea to come to come back?

255
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,040
Speaker 2: Can you also scroll up to Okay, Billy Times, Thank

256
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,040
Speaker 2: you I'm my functioning and I have avoid things that

257
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,800
Speaker 2: could trigger a meltown because they absolutely suck and are

258
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,920
Speaker 2: scary and take hours to recover from. Yeah.

259
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,240
Speaker 3: So I also think someone else made a point about

260
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,480
Speaker 3: high functioning meaning a lot of different things. Usually I

261
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,640
Speaker 3: think means that they can just they don't have to

262
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,120
Speaker 3: live with another person to take care of them. So

263
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,719
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean that they're not experiencing like sensory overloads

264
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,640
Speaker 3: or you know, meltown's like in this situation, It just

265
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,040
Speaker 3: means that they're able to live without a full time care.

266
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. But let's let's see if maybe some communication happens,

267
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,360
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of good could be and

268
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,920
Speaker 1: it can happen, and if both sides understand each other.

269
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,719
Speaker 2: Oh yes, come from a place of understanding and curiosity.

270
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,840
Speaker 1: So let us get on to the updates. My husband

271
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,120
Speaker 1: took brother in law outside Wednesday night alone and had

272
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,360
Speaker 1: a good conversation. Yes, this is exactly what we wanted.

273
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,360
Speaker 1: Husband was actually a bit upset at how well brother

274
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,640
Speaker 1: in law took the fact they were being told to

275
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,120
Speaker 1: leave Thursday. He let brother in law know that him

276
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 1: blowing off my text saying one thing to his girlfriend

277
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,200
Speaker 1: expecting something out of us without communicating it could have

278
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,280
Speaker 1: saved him a big, unnecessary problem, and that due to

279
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,360
Speaker 1: his lack of communication and our plans, they needed to leave.

280
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,840
Speaker 1: So they left Thursday afternoon. I stopped acknowledging the girlfriend

281
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,199
Speaker 1: after Thursday morning, when I said good morning to the

282
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,880
Speaker 1: two of them. I'll be honest, I had a lapse

283
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,280
Speaker 1: in better judgment and after being blown off as she

284
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,160
Speaker 1: is looking me directly in my eyes, So basically OP

285
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,920
Speaker 1: said good morning, and they like looked at her but

286
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,960
Speaker 1: said nothing back. She raised her voice and said, okay,

287
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,640
Speaker 1: I'll just have myself done. It would be like, hey, Sophia,

288
00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:02,760
Speaker 1: good morning. All right, I just go after myself. We

289
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,480
Speaker 1: intend on sitting down and having a serious conversation with

290
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:07,880
Speaker 1: brother in law when he gets home tomorrow. If anyone

291
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,160
Speaker 1: has any suggestions or things that stick out to them

292
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,320
Speaker 1: that they'd not allow to go unaddressed, please let me know.

293
00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,600
Speaker 1: We'll be taking him off of our easy pass. He

294
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,880
Speaker 1: has a month to get his own phone plan and

295
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,280
Speaker 1: he will be paying rent weekly and then maybe as

296
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,560
Speaker 1: some time goes on he can be trusted we will

297
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,360
Speaker 1: be changed at the monthly. He struggled with monthly rent

298
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,840
Speaker 1: while away at school for whatever reason that may be,

299
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,480
Speaker 1: and boundaries regarding his girlfriend, although now that he will

300
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,240
Speaker 1: be responsible for the tolls forty to fifty dollars each

301
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,320
Speaker 1: way if he visits, I don't believe he will be

302
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,199
Speaker 1: bringing her back as he will only be allowed two

303
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,440
Speaker 1: nights max per visit and as of now only on

304
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:47,520
Speaker 1: weekends pre approved and no last second changing a two

305
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,000
Speaker 1: day stay to a five days stay as that isn't

306
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,280
Speaker 1: tolerated and they will be asked to leave like they

307
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,800
Speaker 1: were this time. The immediate switch for brother in law

308
00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:00,320
Speaker 1: and respect towards me was immediately evident. Ran get the

309
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,560
Speaker 1: trash cans out because the holidays they got messed up

310
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,360
Speaker 1: and he had forgotten. It's only been back three weeks.

311
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,040
Speaker 1: It's understandable trash goes out once a week a change

312
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,160
Speaker 1: since he last lived with us when it was twice

313
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,199
Speaker 1: a week, and then came inside to ask if he

314
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,640
Speaker 1: should bring recycling out as well, like jumping to help

315
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:17,160
Speaker 1: out after having consequences to his actions. So it sounds

316
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,400
Speaker 1: like he's like trying to help out more because of

317
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,400
Speaker 1: what has happened. Yeah, Also, they seem to be pretty

318
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:27,640
Speaker 1: strict on him on the brother, the brother in law. Yeah,

319
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,280
Speaker 1: I strict maybe.

320
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was also going to say that adults, yes,

321
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,640
Speaker 3: it feels like they're like his parents. But I was

322
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,680
Speaker 3: also going to say I was thinking about that moment

323
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,920
Speaker 3: of the girlfriend OPI saying good morning and the girlfriend

324
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:41,960
Speaker 3: saying nothing, and then.

325
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 2: Her being like, okay, I'll just ask myself.

326
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,200
Speaker 3: I was thinking about a lot of times there are moments,

327
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,640
Speaker 3: especially in like neurodivergency, you know, like when people are neurodiversient,

328
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,040
Speaker 3: where you like don't want to talk to people you know,

329
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,080
Speaker 3: and you just like need you have like silent time.

330
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,480
Speaker 3: And I feel like that, like I don't know, maybe

331
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 3: she was just being like rude and ignoring OP, but

332
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,480
Speaker 3: that was also like a possibility, and I feel like

333
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,320
Speaker 3: to jump to okay, I'll just aft myself.

334
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,000
Speaker 1: I mean I think it's what that does. Yeah, just

335
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,120
Speaker 1: I feel like an opa even a bit. This I

336
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,200
Speaker 1: wasn't in my best self, but yeah, it is. It

337
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 1: is like escalating things unnecessarily, Like I think even if she.

338
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,200
Speaker 2: Was trying to ignore me, I would be like God.

339
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,920
Speaker 1: And also I don't know, I mean I'm confused as

340
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,080
Speaker 1: to why it's so restrictive like this, Like two date.

341
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,600
Speaker 1: I mean, like I understand not wanting the girlfriend.

342
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:26,680
Speaker 4: Oh.

343
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,360
Speaker 3: I didn't realize they had so much kind of control

344
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,600
Speaker 3: over the brother in law.

345
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,840
Speaker 1: Like the phone stuff, the phone stuff. I mean, I guess.

346
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,560
Speaker 2: Maybe it's old that do we know how old the

347
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:35,960
Speaker 2: brother is?

348
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,000
Speaker 1: I thinks by how old is the brother in law? Ops? Thirty? Female,

349
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,600
Speaker 1: husband's twenty nine male and brother in law is nineteen?

350
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:44,560
Speaker 2: Wow?

351
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,520
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, so that does add a lot of information.

352
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,520
Speaker 3: I think these are nineteen year olds.

353
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,960
Speaker 1: Nineteen and I think his his girlfriend is.

354
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 3: Twenty Okay, Yeah, I think op is. I think this

355
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 3: is a lot of intense reactions coming from them.

356
00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

357
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,800
Speaker 1: Again, I'm like, these are kids, Yeah, these are kids.

358
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:03,760
Speaker 2: These are kids.

359
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,680
Speaker 1: These are kids. I feel like, I feel like you're

360
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,040
Speaker 1: acting a little bit like a kid.

361
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:12,200
Speaker 3: I really just feel like he his girlfriend, not even

362
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 3: the brother. The girlfriend had a moment where she like

363
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 3: started yelling at Ope, and I'll be was like, that's

364
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,760
Speaker 3: not acceptable, kicked him out, and is now putting all

365
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:23,240
Speaker 3: of these restrictions restrictions on the brother who's nineteen.

366
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,080
Speaker 1: You know what, probably probably Yeah, she's just like I

367
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,240
Speaker 1: want this guy out, Yeah, I don't want him staying here.

368
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 1: And I'm out of this situation, so I'm going to

369
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,800
Speaker 1: like make it terrible for me, it terrible for him. Yeah,

370
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 1: but it was a little relief that, you know, he

371
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 1: recognized the consequences reactions and started to help out because

372
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,040
Speaker 1: it reaffirmed he's willing and it is just that structure

373
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,920
Speaker 1: and boundaries he is so lacking and eating. I'll try

374
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,960
Speaker 1: my best update how our conversation goes. We got another update.

375
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 1: So last night brother in law brought to our attention

376
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 1: that his girlfriend is very upset. He doesn't feel we

377
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,680
Speaker 1: communicate with her or try to get to know her.

378
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 1: My husband and I quickly responded that respect in communication

379
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,160
Speaker 1: work both ways. From the moment I introduced myself to her,

380
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,280
Speaker 1: his girlfriend has blown me off and hasn't acknowledged me once.

381
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,240
Speaker 1: I even went so far as to run twet metaphysical shop.

382
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 1: When I saw her interest in crystals, I brought all

383
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 1: of my crystals, tarot cards, and astrology books down to

384
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,680
Speaker 1: show her I was paying attention and listening to her interests.

385
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,640
Speaker 1: It seems no matter what we do in the situation,

386
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,960
Speaker 1: we are in the wrong. So halfway through her stay

387
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 1: last week, I opted to ignore her from good morning

388
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 1: to no thank you for her gifts or hospitality, no goodbye,

389
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 1: constantmands for booze or mac and cheese. We don't know

390
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 1: the girl enough to not like her, but I do

391
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:43,359
Speaker 1: not like her behavior. It's childish, obnoxious, and demanding. We

392
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 1: pointed out how every single time she's come to visit,

393
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,720
Speaker 1: she has blown both myself and my husband off. I

394
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 1: don't understand what it is the brother in law's asking

395
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,040
Speaker 1: of us. We are not as parents it is our

396
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 1: responsibility to play twenty questions to get to know her.

397
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,439
Speaker 1: Because I'm being completely honest, I personally don't care. I

398
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,200
Speaker 1: have enough of my my own personal things going on

399
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,000
Speaker 1: than to be worrying myself with how to carefully try

400
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,360
Speaker 1: and communicate with my brother in law's girlfriend. I don't

401
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,919
Speaker 1: have an issue communicating. She does. In order for a

402
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 1: conversation to take place, two parties got a partake in

403
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,000
Speaker 1: the conversation. I'm happy brother in law brought up the

404
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 1: conversation regarding respect because I called out his very disrespectful

405
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 1: behavior as well as his girlfriends. He kind of rubbed

406
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,439
Speaker 1: me the wrong way because here he is demanding we

407
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,720
Speaker 1: respect his girlfriend, yet hasn't shown an ounce from the

408
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 1: moment he moved back in about a month ago. My

409
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,680
Speaker 1: husband and I are giving ourselves the day to reflect

410
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 1: on the discussion we all had last night, and we'll

411
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 1: revisit sometime this week slash weekend. Have already gotten my

412
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,679
Speaker 1: list of house guidelines slash expectations ready going forward. This

413
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,439
Speaker 1: includes him being responsible for any guests he brings in

414
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 1: the house. I also called out the entire mac and

415
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,120
Speaker 1: cheese ordeal and how inappropriate it is to behave that way.

416
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:53,240
Speaker 1: This is not how adults communicates. Unfortunately, I see his

417
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,199
Speaker 1: girlfriend being the beginning of his downfall. He begins his

418
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 1: dream job next week, and I fear he isn't going

419
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,879
Speaker 1: to last long do the demands of his healthless girlfriend.

420
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 1: I'm at Peeve this morning, so this update may be

421
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,680
Speaker 1: a bit judgmental and snippy. Yeah, but I'm yet again

422
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 1: at a loss for words the audacity, I guess. And

423
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 1: there is a third update.

424
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,199
Speaker 3: I really am having trouble here because I feel like

425
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,800
Speaker 3: it is a little bit of an unreliable narrator moment,

426
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,359
Speaker 3: and if we are to take a p at face value,

427
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,439
Speaker 3: she's saying that this girlfriend is being rude and snippy

428
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 3: and blah blah blah, and I can't tell, like that

429
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 3: totally could be true.

430
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,560
Speaker 2: But also I'm like, what is the brother in law done?

431
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 2: I don't know, That's what I'm Yeah, I don't know.

432
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 1: What I mean.

433
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe he asked He was like, hey, my girlfriend

434
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 3: feels like you guys don't really want to get to

435
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 3: know her.

436
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 2: And she was like, dare he ask?

437
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 1: How dare he do that?

438
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 2: I don't I yeah.

439
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,920
Speaker 1: I think maybe maybe she's referring to both of them

440
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 1: being silent in the morning and not saying good morning,

441
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 1: which is but I don't know. I feel I don't know.

442
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,959
Speaker 3: I feel like this is a little bit of an

443
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 3: everyone sucks here kind of situation. It feels like the

444
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:03,879
Speaker 3: girlfriend was rude. Yeah, whether that be because she is

445
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 3: autistic or not, it was like there was a rude moment.

446
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 3: It feels like, OHP, he doesn't really have an understanding

447
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 3: of her, this girlfriend's nerdivergency at all and is taking

448
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 3: everything very much to heart. But also it feels like

449
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 3: OHP's behaving kind of petulantly like the whole like, so

450
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 3: I ignored her, like you're thirty and she's nineteen.

451
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like you are I feel like what

452
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 1: you're doing is you're reflecting the same behavior that you're

453
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 1: that you're interpreting these kids are doing. And like, yes,

454
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 1: like understandable that you're maybe a little mad, but you

455
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 1: don't act like a nineteen year old back to a

456
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: nineteen year old. You will lose it that game. You're better.

457
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,880
Speaker 2: They're better at acting like a nineteen year old.

458
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 1: They're better, and they'll do it forever. They'll live for

459
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 1: much longer. They'll drag you into the dirt. You don't

460
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 1: have that energy year old.

461
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,679
Speaker 3: Not to say not to come here a fourteen year

462
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 3: old to a nineteen year old, because obviously a nineteen

463
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 3: year old is an adult. But like if a fourteen

464
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 3: year old, you know, yells at you because they want

465
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 3: to play Fortnite or whatever, you don't start yelling at

466
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,639
Speaker 3: them and saying, oh, I want to play Fortnite. Yeah,

467
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 3: you know if you want to play Fortnite, Yeah, you

468
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 3: really want to play Fortnite.

469
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 1: But we got an update. Yeah, someone said you're bullying

470
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 1: a neurodivergent kid is not us, No, no, he is

471
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 1: the lawyer. Princess says it feels a bit ablest. Yeah,

472
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: Lady Morgan says, I clam up when I meet new

473
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: people too, and susan As says, I agree with Sophia

474
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 1: oh Sam the caterpillar says, these are full grown adults

475
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 1: bullying and autistic. Freshel freshly adults actually adult autistic.

476
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 3: I think that Ope totally could have been in the

477
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 3: right if she had approached this like the situation with

478
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 3: a little bit more maturity and it said, hey, brother

479
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 3: in law, your girl, Hey brother, your girlfriend was pretty

480
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 3: rude to us. We would love to help accommodate her,

481
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,640
Speaker 3: but you know, we need a little bit of mutual

482
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 3: respect here, especially if you're going to stay in our house,

483
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,480
Speaker 3: if we're going to provide food for you and just

484
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 3: give out those kind of requests rather than being like, you.

485
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 2: Guys are terrible, get out of my house.

486
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I agree, But you know what else,

487
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,880
Speaker 1: I agree with the fact that we have a third

488
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 1: update and I'm gonna forge. So hey all, it's been

489
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: over a month since my last post, and I figured

490
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 1: i'd share the latest update for those who are interested

491
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 1: in the outcome of the situation. The beginning of January,

492
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 1: my thirty female brother in law twenty mail started his

493
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 1: dream career a month to the date after graduating. We

494
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,879
Speaker 1: are incredibly proud of the only problem. The job is

495
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 1: an hour and a half commute one way on a

496
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: good traffic day. It's a lot of commuting, and his

497
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 1: first week he loved it. He was selling my hobby

498
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 1: twenty nine mail picks and videos throughout the week of

499
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 1: vehicles that were in the shop he thought were cool,

500
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: or videos of him learning something new. He's currently doing

501
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 1: maintenance work at the dealership he's been working at, but

502
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 1: intends on furthering his career and continuing his education through

503
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,679
Speaker 1: work and through other programs offered for different certificates. He

504
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 1: leaves at five thirty every morning and was originally getting

505
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 1: home anywhere from six forty five to seven thirty at night.

506
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,880
Speaker 1: He works five days a week, soon to be six.

507
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 1: His girlfriend, twenty female, lives two two hours from us

508
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 1: and three hours from his job Dang. Every Friday, he

509
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 1: leaves to visit her, sometimes from work, other times he

510
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 1: comes all the way home to shower she's in college

511
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 1: and I'm assuming he can't shower there, and then makes

512
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,679
Speaker 1: a trip to her house, leaving him driving minimally five

513
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 1: hours in just one day.

514
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 2: That's a lot of hours that is a.

515
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 1: Out of driving.

516
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think it's not every day.

517
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 1: I think it's like almost every day. That's impat just

518
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 1: one day he's.

519
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 3: In just one day, like like he's doing this once

520
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 3: a week, but like at five hours one in that day.

521
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 2: I don't know any more information.

522
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think it's I think it's maybe

523
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: up to five five hours a day. You will think

524
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:40,919
Speaker 1: about it.

525
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 2: He's seen her every day.

526
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 1: And I don't think he've seen her, but like up

527
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 1: to five hours, yeah, yes, up to five hours are driving, Yes,

528
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 1: in a day. He then comes home Sunday to restart

529
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 1: his work week. Do the above. We have not seen

530
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 1: his girlfriend since it would be an insane amount of

531
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 1: driving for my brother in law to bring her back home.

532
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,120
Speaker 1: Why is he responsible for all the driving, you may ask, Well,

533
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: she refuses to get her license. Yes, flat out refuses

534
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: at this point. Okay, pausing right here, Yeah, who cares?

535
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 2: Who cares?

536
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 1: I feel like you're writing like you care.

537
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 3: I'm frustrated because that's the brother in law's decision to make. Yeah,

538
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 3: if you care, if she had a problem with it,

539
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 3: if he was like, hey, this needs to be fixed,

540
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 3: then they need of conversation and maybe that's where we're

541
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 3: about to learn. Maybe he has a problem with it.

542
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 1: But like wise, do you read says she must be hot? Yeah,

543
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 1: all that way for a girl. Would never would never,

544
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: oh no a lot list Alie says, yeah, would never

545
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 1: do you in a few days. So why is he

546
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 1: responsible for all the driving? You may ask while she

547
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: refuses to get her license. Yes, flat out refuses at

548
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 1: this point as it has become a pressing issue in

549
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: the relationship and quite honestly, my brother in law's overall

550
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 1: well being in the last three months. This is what

551
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,160
Speaker 1: I've noticed and experience. Brother in law has been getting

552
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: home at six fifteen every day. Absolutely it possible he

553
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: found the right root and perfect time to have a

554
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: smooth commute. However, when he gets home, he's flying. We

555
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: live in a neighborhood that's twenty five miles per hour

556
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 1: and blasting very loud and angry music. This person sounds

557
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: like the oldest thirty year old in the world. He's

558
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 1: going thirty, he's going thirty and a twenty five.

559
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 2: He's listening to.

560
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 1: Devil's music. Those hips are not like about Satan, no judgment.

561
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: I listened to the exact same kind of music, has

562
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: been slamming doors, drawers, and cabinets, heavy, sighing constantly he's breathing,

563
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: and when he has asked about his day and how

564
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 1: it was work, we are hit annoyingly with boring. He

565
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 1: also blasted the same angry kind of music Sunday night,

566
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: despite knowing my husband and I were in the next room,

567
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: the living room, watching a movie, just being inconsiderate some context.

568
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: And it may sound silly, but he is so to

569
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 1: himself an introverted I, honest to god, wasn't even sure

570
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: he listened to music, especially the kind he's been listening to.

571
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 1: He also stopped showering daily. When I'm getting out here

572
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,640
Speaker 1: is all these things are incredibly at a character for him.

573
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 3: Okay, with showering daily, make that I would be like, Okay,

574
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,159
Speaker 3: I mean you could, yeah, yeah, if you've noticed shower

575
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 3: every day.

576
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 1: But I feel like, well, if it's like.

577
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 3: He's now showering every other day, you know, yeah, that's fine.

578
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 3: It seems like, oh, he's implying, like I feel like, hope.

579
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: He could be implying that he just showers every other day.

580
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 2: That's true. It could be.

581
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I hope he his nitpick in here.

582
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 3: If it is possible that Op is saying, I've noticed

583
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 3: this huge change in his personality, and because.

584
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: He's gone a big old his dream job and he's

585
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 1: working hard at.

586
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 3: It, I think if you were coming from it with

587
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 3: a place of like, I'm worried about him because I

588
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 3: care about this boy and he's changed a lot, then

589
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 3: I understand get.

590
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: This, Sophia. Okay, every single night he has what we

591
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 1: all refer to as his appointment with his girl, as

592
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: she calls every night ridiculous. Who has time to talk

593
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 1: to their girlfriend every night.

594
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 2: At twelve at night with their doors open, with.

595
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,239
Speaker 1: Their doors open for hour, and they wake up their

596
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: sister and then she wakes up looking like a ghoul

597
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,360
Speaker 1: of the night, just staring at you, and then slams

598
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 1: your door. With every passing day, his frustration and annoyance

599
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: regarding these phone calls was becoming glaringly apparent.

600
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 2: Okay, so now he does seem like he's not in

601
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: I don't know.

602
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: He could just be tired. I don't think that is

603
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: a indicator.

604
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 2: It's totally possible that Opia is correct.

605
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: Here, maybe, but I also think like that would be

606
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 1: totally projecting.

607
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,199
Speaker 3: We might be pulling our thoughts and feelings from the

608
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 3: first couple updates onto this, but it's totally possible that

609
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: OPI is correct here.

610
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: Well, let's see. So things really came to a head

611
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: when two nights ago we asked how work was and

612
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: he said, terrible.

613
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 3: I actually, do you want to there's a possibility that

614
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 3: is not the girlfriend and it's just the job.

615
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 2: The job is like really really.

616
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: Hard, I mean, and it's also an hour and a

617
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: half away.

618
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it might just be that the job is bad.

619
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: That job is hard and.

620
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 2: It's not the girlfriend.

621
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 1: Enough was enough, and my husband and myself had a

622
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: much needed heart dart with my brother in law. We

623
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 1: expressed our concern for as well being and recognize he's

624
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 1: incredibly overwhelmed. His girlfriend demands he visit her every single

625
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: weekend and if he doesn't, she will get really upset. Well,

626
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 1: he asked when he intended to take a self care

627
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: day for himself as over the last few weeks. My

628
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: husband vehemently expressed to brother in law that if he

629
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: didn't pick a day to rest, his body would pick

630
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: for him, and that very rarely ever happens at a

631
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: convenient time. Brother in law stated he didn't want to

632
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 1: lie and it wasn't a valid reason to not visit.

633
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 1: To catch up on rest and check in with himself.

634
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: I shared my top three concerns with him. What I

635
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 1: do not want him due to lack of rest, getting

636
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 1: in a car accident with his long commutes, I agree.

637
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 1: Do I don't want him to make a mistake at

638
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 1: work and end up injured or worse. As he works

639
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: on vehicles, One small mistake and you can end up

640
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: squished underneath a car or end up getting fired. And three,

641
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: he's going to lose his crap on his girlfriend, and

642
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: we know he doesn't want to do that, nor would

643
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 1: he mean it. I inquired about his girlfriend getting her license,

644
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: and he said that she'd consider it. I asked him

645
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: what the f that means, and he said he has

646
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: no idea. Barely clearly aggravated at the top, not towards

647
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: me the topic itself. I asked him what was stopping

648
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: her from getting it. She's turning twenty one this summer.

649
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: He told me she's afraid she'll get distracted and crash.

650
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: I asked what she would get so distracted by that

651
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 1: it would affect her driving? With some thinking, he says

652
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: a dog.

653
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I.

654
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 3: Do think that the brother in law is actually having

655
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 3: a problem with his girlfriend. I think Ope's finally become right.

656
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 3: I still agree with everything I said previously.

657
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I Sophia, I was never wrong.

658
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,479
Speaker 3: I was never wrong never how Yeah, I do think

659
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 3: that Opee is rightfully concerned about a young man who

660
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 3: is probably you know, figuring out his limits and right

661
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 3: now thinks that he doesn't have a limit.

662
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: Sanley Catto Fellow says he could end up squished, worse fired.

663
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: Okay, he could end up squished by it.

664
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that these are all reasonable worries. Because

665
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 3: he's nineteen. It is a reasonable go as hard as

666
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 3: you can and be fine.

667
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. As my mom would always say, Sam,

668
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: you're birding the candle at.

669
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 3: Both and yeah, I think my advice would probably be like, hey,

670
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 3: because I've had friends who have partners or other friends

671
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 3: who just expect a lot from them and it really,

672
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 3: you know, drains them, and they're taking calls in the

673
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 3: middle of the night, They're putting all this effort in

674
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 3: that they're not receiving back, and my advice would be,

675
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: don't approach this and be.

676
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 2: Like your girlfriend, Sack, she's being horrible to you.

677
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 3: Be like, hey, I just want you to know that

678
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 3: you are allowed to ask for these things, and you're

679
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 3: allowed to expect, you know, her to come see you

680
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 3: in return. If she doesn't want to get a car,

681
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 3: let's look into public transportation. Maybe we mate halfway, because

682
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 3: it's unreasonable to expect this twenty year old who has

683
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 3: got a full time job to drive three hours, like

684
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: multiple times a week.

685
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's a little bird ridiculous. But I'm pretty

686
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: sure he's just relaying what it is she's using as

687
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: excuses without actually putting any thought into it and just

688
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,479
Speaker 1: accepting it as fact. I challenged it, and inevitably he

689
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: agreed that she needed to get her license, as he

690
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: was not going to get a place with her until

691
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: she does, so. I doubt he's had this discussion with

692
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: his girlfriend yet. And that's okay. Well, yesterday I did

693
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: my research for the state she lives in as to

694
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: how to get her license. Obviously, you must get a

695
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: permit first, perfect I made about fifty index cards. Illustrations

696
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: included where I could to help her study for and

697
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: take her permit test. Unless she goes to driving school.

698
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 1: She has to have her permit for six months and

699
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,719
Speaker 1: then can test for a license. So does it solve

700
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: her driving immediately or as soon as we like?

701
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 4: No.

702
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that if she's unwilling to even do this,

703
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: my brother in law can wake up and see that

704
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: this is hardly a relationship that is sustainable. Last night

705
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: I gave him the index cards great and I explained

706
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: to him how to go about helping her. I also

707
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: expressed that despite the pushback and resistance he'd receive, he

708
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: is not to back down. Stay for my boy, David,

709
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 1: button down the hatches, want.

710
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,239
Speaker 2: Tofy the walls. That's an intense thing to do.

711
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, for you, the night is lonely and dark terror.

712
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 2: I spent time making your index cards.

713
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: I made this potion for you to help you on

714
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: your battle. As he isn't pushing her a license, he's

715
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: asking her to get her permit, which would be a

716
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: step towards her being able to get her license. She

717
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: refuses to get her license right now, so be it.

718
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: She can get her permit. It's an eighteen question test

719
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: and you need fifteen correct paths, no driving involved. If

720
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: she's unwilling to do this, I'm hoping he can see

721
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: that this is not the person for him. He needs

722
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: a partnership, not a dependent which is true. Yes, that

723
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: is a true statement. Last statement all right. After our

724
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 1: first conversation this week, the heart to heart things became

725
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: much lighter in my home. My brother in a lot

726
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: was more cheerful and talkative and not so reserved to

727
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: himself or so isolating. Essentially. Then, after last night's conversation,

728
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 1: I asked what his appointment was. When I tell you

729
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: his response contain more FM and any other words. To

730
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm not sure what he said other than

731
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: f bombing every word, clearly getting fed up. He explained

732
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: he's told her he's going to shower and eat, but

733
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: yet again her call interrupted him mid dinner, and rather

734
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: than just letting it ring, he angrily got up went

735
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 1: to his bedroom And that was at eight fifteen, and

736
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 1: he never came back out of his room.

737
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 2: He never came out again.

738
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: We never saw him again. Yeah, man, this is the

739
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: norm and a huge part of the reason he's sleep deprived,

740
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: as well as not taking any time for himself. He

741
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: also shared how his girlfriend says he has terrible taste

742
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: in vehicles, which seemed to upset brother in law when

743
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: he told me, I pointed out, how the AF does

744
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: she know anything about cars? She refuses to drive, And

745
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: he's all excited, and I guess was validated and reassured

746
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: because he was.

747
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 3: Like, right, exactly, yeah, and now we've come to the

748
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 3: point where this brother in law should not be in

749
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 3: a relationship with his girlfriend.

750
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: Then the phone call came and away he went. I'm

751
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: hoping in the next few weeks that we can help

752
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 1: him understand and establish appropriate and healthy boundary for himself.

753
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: I don't know why he's answering those calls when his

754
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: girlfriend talks to him like that. I'll be sure to

755
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: update if there's any progress on his girlfriend's end, but

756
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: I doubt there will be, and hope that if that

757
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: is the case, my brother in law is capable of

758
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,919
Speaker 1: doing what's best for himself and Sophia. Yeah, you thought

759
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 1: it was impossible. You said, Oh, there's no way there's

760
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,839
Speaker 1: an update for you didn't believe it. Hey, Sam, we're

761
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: gonna get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

762
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 1: of bads from our sponsors.

763
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 2: I did. I said that you spat.

764
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: In my face at the idea of another eye.

765
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 2: I did everyone saw it?

766
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: Everyone saw it? But guess what, Sophia. Well, I'm sorry

767
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 1: to disappoint you to prove you wrong, But there is

768
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:44,320
Speaker 1: another update to man. Brother in law saga. Wow, this

769
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: woozy says, brother in law is figuring out what do

770
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 1: we think? All right?

771
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 4: Right?

772
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: We were kind of against Ope in the beginning. Yes,

773
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: I feel like we're coming around.

774
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm going around Ope.

775
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 3: I'm just coming around to the fact that maybe Ope,

776
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 3: Opie's brother in law shouldn't be with his girlfriend.

777
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well I think I think I'm coming around to

778
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: the idea that Opi is right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that

779
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: like her? Don't we don't? Do we like your methods?

780
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 2: No?

781
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 4: No?

782
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,760
Speaker 1: Do we like her as a person?

783
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 2: No?

784
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I don't want to say no.

785
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I will say no.

786
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 3: I might.

787
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: I might love her in person. She just might not

788
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 2: portray yourself.

789
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, well over over writing, you know, does it

790
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 1: seem like the most affable of chaps.

791
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 2: Does the brother in law need to break up with

792
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:31,280
Speaker 2: his girlfriend?

793
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 1: Maybe? Probably, definitely, Yeah, I hope he does.

794
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 3: I think, however, the brother in law needs to figure

795
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 3: that out. You need to provide.

796
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: Your job baby, you are you are. You're putting him

797
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: on a little leash and guiding him every right, Yeah,

798
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: give him flash guards. You're giving him girlfriend basically fresh guards.

799
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,240
Speaker 1: You're like, you gotta do this step and this step

800
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,320
Speaker 1: and this deep and this step, and like you can advise,

801
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 1: but you can't live this relationship for no.

802
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 3: I think you need to say, like, hey, I've noticed this,

803
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 3: this and this a little bit worried about you. And

804
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,320
Speaker 3: then he comes to you and says, oh, my girlfriends

805
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 3: in that, and you say, yeah, that's not cool. I

806
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:05,360
Speaker 3: think you know, just so you know, like you're allowed

807
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 3: to ask for those things in a relationship and you

808
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,240
Speaker 3: don't say your your girlfriend sucks.

809
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: You need a lever. You just in real people? Uh

810
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: uh has a really good point over here. His relationship

811
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: may be wrong for him, but op, he is just

812
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 1: an overbearing person. Yeah, boom, you hit the nail on

813
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 1: the head. Real person, real people, real people, real person.

814
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: They Yeah, this is an overbearing person. Breakup or not.

815
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 1: I think I would say breakup, but you gotta find

816
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 1: that out for yourself.

817
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't tell him to break up. You would

818
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 2: to listen to me.

819
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 1: But we got an update four. So the last month

820
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 1: has been up and it's been down. About three weeks ago,

821
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 1: we really established healthy, open communication between myself thirty female,

822
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: my husband twenty nine mail, and my brother in law

823
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: twenty mail. My brother in law has gotten a promotion

824
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: and another certificate under his belt since my last update.

825
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: He is really just going after this crap, and I'm

826
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: impressed and incredibly proud. We make sure to celebrate these things.

827
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: I had made him cupcakes this week what he got

828
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 1: the certificate in promotion. He was in such a rush

829
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: to get to his girlfriends, I'm not sure he fully processed.

830
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: We had made cupcakes exclusively for his accomplishments. In the

831
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 1: last month, we have noticed a significant shift and his

832
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: usual behavior. For instance, he stopped showering daily. As long

833
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 1: as I have known him, despite doing nothing or working

834
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: all day, he was a daily showerer. Recently maybe three

835
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: sometimes two times a week, coming home with a face

836
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 1: covered in grease from work. He had thrown up in

837
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: the trash been in his bedroom almost two weeks ago.

838
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:31,720
Speaker 1: He decided to drink a little and learned his lesson

839
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: that day and ended up sick. I smelled vomit so

840
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: strongly today and crossed my mind that maybe he never

841
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: threw it away. Turns out I was right. He threw

842
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 1: it out tonight and he's currently airing his room out.

843
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 1: As we air out the first floor, he's left what

844
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: my husband refers to as beached whales and the toilet bowl.

845
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 1: Not just once, this is a weekly occurrence, U greeted

846
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 1: with some mornings, man does not have enough time to flush.

847
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 2: Oh.

848
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: What I'm getting at is he is clearly distracted. Not

849
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 1: how he is in meaning Spear or my husband, but

850
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 1: his well being. He is neglecting himself in more ways daily,

851
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: and finally tonight we had a breakthrough. All Right, I'm

852
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 1: going to be honest. Some people had brought up these concerns,

853
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,839
Speaker 1: but I thought they were a bit dramatic and not

854
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: really in the realm of possibility. But unfortunately there's a

855
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: lot worse than I imagine.

856
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 3: Oh, maybe he needed the overbearing person tonight tacking on

857
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 3: everything finally brought the concern of him neglecting as well

858
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 3: being recently up to him.

859
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,839
Speaker 1: He also shared that we know something has been weighing

860
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: heavy on him and that he may not want to

861
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 1: talk to us now or us at all, but just

862
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: know we are always here. He said he doesn't feel

863
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,720
Speaker 1: warmth or love the people he loved. This could possibly

864
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: be directed towards us as well, but the conversation went

865
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: right into his relationship per brother in law. We allowed

866
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: him to speak and express his feelings. He has no

867
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: idea what he's really feeling aside from being numb. This

868
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: ended up being about a three and a half hour

869
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: talk with all three of us. With the aforementioned promotion

870
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,280
Speaker 1: my brother in law recently got. He is now working

871
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: six days a week instead of the regular forty hour week.

872
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 1: He commutes anywhere from fifteen to thirty hours a week

873
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 1: just with work. He's living here for multitudes of reasons,

874
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 1: so please do not suggest he moved closer to work.

875
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: That is not the root of his very real and

876
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 1: consuming problem. His girlfriend lives two hours away from us,

877
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 1: three and a half hours away from his job, and

878
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 1: since moving back home in December, his girlfriend made it

879
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 1: a point that he must visit every weekend. He obliged,

880
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: and then inevitably the toll of his very busy work

881
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,359
Speaker 1: life was becoming clearer by the day, as well as

882
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: the unrealistic demands of his girlfriend. My husband and I

883
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,399
Speaker 1: were aware of the unsustainability of the situation, and as

884
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,839
Speaker 1: painful as this has been to watch the last couple

885
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: of months, our biggest and main concern was as well

886
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 1: being getting enough sleep and not getting hurt driving or

887
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 1: at work. I can't bother with any more context. Let

888
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: me just get to the point and hopefully someone will

889
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 1: have some advice or perspective to share to help me

890
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 1: help my brother in law navigate this incredibly toxic, bordering

891
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 1: armful codependent relationship. Is currently in two weeks ago, my

892
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,399
Speaker 1: brother in law for the first time since moving in

893
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 1: up to stay home for his last full weekend off

894
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: of work. I have no idea the extent or the

895
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 1: details of what type of reaction you received from his

896
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 1: girlfriend because he just keep saying she gets sad well. Finally, tonight,

897
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: after letting him express himself for a good forty five

898
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 1: minutes uninterrupted, he finally shared that she threatens to do

899
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: some bad things to herself. He has shared his feelings

900
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 1: or lack thereof, regarding his girlfriend with his girlfriend lately,

901
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,399
Speaker 1: and she urged him to get a therapist and speak

902
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: to myself and my husband to help him find a therapist.

903
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 1: So funny enough, this behavior, yeah, is incredibly effing familiar

904
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 1: to me as I behave similarly at that age. I

905
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: have borderline personality disorder, no excuses, just the diagnosis that

906
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 1: played a huge role of my behaviors and lack of

907
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: emotional regulation maturity, And I am now so grateful for

908
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: what an a hole I behaved like, because I understand

909
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 1: it from the other side, but that this is what

910
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: is scaring the crap out of me as well. I

911
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: did ask him if she was borderline. He says, she

912
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 1: thinks she does. If I'm being honest, I think there

913
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 1: is a lot of self diagnosing happening, more so than

914
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,919
Speaker 1: legitimate diagnosis. Something has been off to me this entire time,

915
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 1: and tonight just solidified the uneasiness that I've been feeling.

916
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: I explained to him that if he is ever truly

917
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,359
Speaker 1: concerned for her well being, being over one hundred miles

918
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: away from her, he could always call a wellness check.

919
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,280
Speaker 1: This is clearly, though not fealthy, he said. He feels

920
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,360
Speaker 1: as if he just isn't doing enough or can't do

921
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 1: anything right. In regards to his girlfriend, he shared, when

922
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: he goes to visit her, he folds her laundry and

923
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: takes her grocery shopping. I pointed out how kind that

924
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 1: is of him, considering what long, hard weeks he works,

925
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 1: then asked him what does she do for him.

926
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 2: He sat pond her good questions.

927
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,760
Speaker 1: Hand on chin, and then said, that's a really good question.

928
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: I responded it wasn't necessarily to be answered right then

929
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 1: and there, but rather something for him to maybe put

930
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: some thought into. He eagerly agreed. I asked if he

931
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: was leaning towards making it work or if he was

932
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: ready to throw in the towel. He's flip flopping. But

933
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,839
Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, I think he's done and it's

934
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 1: just consumed by the guilt and this emotional coercion. I

935
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 1: have therapy first thing in the morning and asked him

936
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: if he was okay if I asked my therapist for

937
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: some advice. He was happy and said, yes, thank you.

938
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 1: As soon as his insurance kicks in and we will

939
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,919
Speaker 1: be helping him find a therapist, which is a great idea. Yeah,

940
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: man feels like he is going on going through the works. Yeah,

941
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 1: his girlfriend was right about one thing. I guess that

942
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: is one of the ways she helped. Yeah, all can

943
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: look at that. As soon as an insurance kicks in

944
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: will be helping him find another therapist, which is in

945
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: a few weeks. Until then, it's myself and my husband.

946
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,359
Speaker 1: I am even more concerned for his well being than

947
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 1: I was previously, knowing what we know now. Yes, because

948
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,800
Speaker 1: just so you know, there's another updated update five.

949
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, everything's changing.

950
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: Everything's changing. So with the knowledge that his girlfriend you know,

951
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: has potential BPD and is there's some emotional coersion going on,

952
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 1: what would you advise the brother in law to do?

953
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, I think you keep advising him what

954
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 3: we've been saying before, of like telling him that he's

955
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 3: allowed to expect more from her and that he, you know,

956
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,280
Speaker 3: basically just running himself ragged for her is not helping

957
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 3: her or him. You know, if he can't fill up

958
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 3: his own cup, he certainly can't fill up hers.

959
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: I know. It's it's crazy that like he's you know,

960
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 1: helping her by groceries and folding your laundry's.

961
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 2: Six days a week.

962
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's working six days a week. On his one

963
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: off day, he's taking care of all of her chores

964
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: and he doesn't even have time to flush his own dookies.

965
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:32,439
Speaker 2: Well, I think I think it's all. It's not even

966
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 2: like a time thing. I think it's you.

967
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 3: You're just so absent minded when you're working this hard

968
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:41,479
Speaker 3: and doing this much for other people that you don't

969
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 3: even like things simple things like even probably feeding yourself, showering,

970
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 3: just not even.

971
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 1: Those things go out the window. You're in trouble, in trouble, right,

972
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:51,359
Speaker 1: like I think, you.

973
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 3: Know, I think also talking to him about limiting it

974
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 3: work hours as well.

975
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, important.

976
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: You don't want to you don't want to just burn

977
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: yourself out, like I think. I mean, I think the

978
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,439
Speaker 1: ideal is, like you have your baseline habits to keep

979
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: yourself clean and healthy, right, So like maybe it's a

980
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 1: little working out, maybe it's some showering, some time to eat,

981
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 1: and then you can build on top of it, right,

982
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: But if you don't have those baseline habits done, you're

983
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 1: going to break yourself and not be You're not going

984
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,359
Speaker 1: to be able to be the boyfriend, You're not gonna

985
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,240
Speaker 1: be able to be the good worker.

986
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and whatever we've said, we've come in a lot

987
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 3: about Ope. But I will say I do appreciate how

988
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 3: on top of it she is for this kid.

989
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: She is.

990
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 2: She is clearly cares.

991
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 1: She definitely cares.

992
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 2: She clearly cares about this kid.

993
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: Reminds me of our mother. Yeah over maearing.

994
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:42,439
Speaker 3: But cars so true, Katie Paladin says, Wow, a fifth update.

995
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 3: When's last time we got a story with this many updates?

996
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't.

997
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: Who knows, man, but you know what I know, and

998
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to read its fifth update. Woo. So update five.

999
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,879
Speaker 1: Over the course of the last maybe five weeks, we've

1000
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 1: had really open conversations with brother in law and have

1001
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: gotten him in with a therapist. Yeah, when he wasn't

1002
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 1: comfortable doing therapy alone at first, so we have come

1003
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: to two sessions and now he's ready to go on

1004
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:12,319
Speaker 1: his own. That's great. I like that. I will list

1005
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 1: the reasons he's in therapy and why his relationship is

1006
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,719
Speaker 1: even more unhealthy than I was imagining. Girl got the tea.

1007
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: His girlfriend is one hundred percent codependent on him and

1008
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 1: has been using the term separation anxiety, making it so

1009
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: that any outs of free time my brother in law had,

1010
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:29,280
Speaker 1: which wasn't much given his full time job in the commute,

1011
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: he was to be on standby for a phone call

1012
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 1: from her and he better answer it. Oh yes, that

1013
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: is not good.

1014
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:37,919
Speaker 2: No, no, no, not good.

1015
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: I mean I think, like, you know, it is normal

1016
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 1: to maybe feel like a certain way when you're a

1017
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: way from your partner, but like like to demand that

1018
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: they answer or whatever is not not a good thing.

1019
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like when you have like sometimes I'll see

1020
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 3: people in relationships. You see this a lot online and

1021
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 3: stuff of people being like I sent the good morning

1022
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 3: text and he didn't set the good morning tex or

1023
00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 3: like we always call every night and he didn't call

1024
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 3: me back immediately, or you know, I we always check.

1025
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 2: In every hour and they didn't check in that out.

1026
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 3: It's like you don't deserve, nor should you ask for

1027
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 3: every minute of your partner's time.

1028
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how you suffocate a relationship. Again, I always

1029
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: quote this. I always quote this, but my dad always

1030
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: has this cool little jabron quote where it's like relationships

1031
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: are like two bodies of water. They come together with

1032
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 1: the rising tide, and with the lowering of the tide

1033
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: they separate. People learn new things as separate bodies of water.

1034
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 1: Something like that.

1035
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's this like story about it's like a mythology

1036
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,399
Speaker 3: story about how originally it's men and woman.

1037
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 2: So this is a heteronormative.

1038
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: Expert disgusting grass.

1039
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 3: But it's about how like we used to be this

1040
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 3: one pair and then separated, and I feel like I

1041
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 3: want you to forget that. I don't like, wait what

1042
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 3: it's like we used to we used to be like

1043
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 3: one like multi limbed form thing.

1044
00:46:57,680 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: Oh used to be like oh yeah, like a four

1045
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: four like.

1046
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 3: Women like a woman and man. Used to be like

1047
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 3: one thing and then got separated, and like.

1048
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 2: Forget that.

1049
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 3: Like you, when you're in a relationship, you are not

1050
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:12,760
Speaker 3: one person. You know, you are two different people.

1051
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 1: You're like that whole story just brought up a story.

1052
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 1: You're like that was a dumb story. Well, it was a.

1053
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 3: Story to explain, you know, why things are the way

1054
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 3: they are. I just think the idea that when you

1055
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 3: come together, you are one thing and your world revolves

1056
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 3: around that person.

1057
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think your world should actually ever revolve

1058
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 1: around one person. One person the world should you should

1059
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 1: be You should be a multi fact, you would being

1060
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 1: because when your world revolves around one thing, that's when

1061
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 1: you suffocate that world and then that world dies.

1062
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1063
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 3: I think rather than like being the Earth revolving around

1064
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 3: the sun, be the sun and all of your different

1065
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 3: interests revolve around you.

1066
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 2: That sounds bad, but you know what I mean. Yeah, narcissists.

1067
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: Everything result.

1068
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're just the little planet dancing around me.

1069
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 2: More so, you should just have multiple interests.

1070
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 1: Rather than Sophia is the sun.

1071
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 2: I have the sun. Everyone should think of themselves as

1072
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 2: the sun.

1073
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 1: Well, he did this. Going back to the story, so

1074
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 1: we were talking about how he has to answer every

1075
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 1: phone call from his girlfriend. He did this every single

1076
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 1: day from the beginning of December until a week ago.

1077
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 1: I suggested he take a break from the everyday phone calls.

1078
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 1: He also set a limit on him visiting every weekend.

1079
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 1: It was no longer happening. He was staying home every

1080
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 1: other week on the weekends he works Saturdays, and the

1081
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 1: weekends he was off, he wouldn't be getting to her

1082
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: until Saturday than the Friday stuff he's been doing since January.

1083
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: Come to find out, she has been doing something to herself.

1084
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 1: He finally broke down to us and shared he doesn't

1085
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: know what to do. He's spinning and he feels he's

1086
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 1: entirely responsible for her so scary. After therapy sessions, my

1087
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 1: brother in law is finally seeing the relationship for what

1088
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: it is, the manipulation being used, the codependency, as well

1089
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 1: as lack of autonomy. He has visited in two weeks now,

1090
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,800
Speaker 1: and I you know, that's that's really rough, But I

1091
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 1: also don't want it to be rough for you. And

1092
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 1: have you not visit us every two weeks? So you

1093
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 1: should visit us every day because you can listen to

1094
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:16,320
Speaker 1: full episode to stories just like this. Go to Spotify,

1095
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and search. Okay,

1096
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:23,320
Speaker 1: story time, Yeah there's another relevant update. And I swear

1097
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: they put this done here. We're gonna get back to

1098
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:27,399
Speaker 1: this juicy story, but a quick three minute breakup ads

1099
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:31,879
Speaker 1: from our sponsors the exact worst spots worst spot every time,

1100
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 1: and I love it. We got a little bit more

1101
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: to this story, Sophia. But I mean, how do you, like,

1102
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 1: how do you break up with someone that is unstable?

1103
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 1: I think because I feel like you got a hot

1104
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: potato them to someone else to take care of them.

1105
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 4: But I don't know how, you know, like a scale,

1106
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 4: like how you let them down so gently, so lightly,

1107
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 4: so hard.

1108
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never been in this relationship, like this situation

1109
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 3: in a relationship, but I have had a friend in

1110
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 3: a similar like a friend who was going through a

1111
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 3: lot and was potentially like had threatened things. This was

1112
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 3: a while, yeah, not like years and years ago, and

1113
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 3: they would rely a lot on another friend of mine

1114
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:13,799
Speaker 3: and doing the scene where they would call every night

1115
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 3: till two in the morning and just like really demanding

1116
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 3: a lot for my friend. And then said this thing

1117
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 3: that they would do online. And I like went to

1118
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 3: a teacher and stuff and I was like, hey, this

1119
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 3: is happening, and I think that's what you do. And

1120
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 3: she that person got like very mad at me for

1121
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 3: doing that. But and she your girlfriend, the brother in

1122
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 3: law's girlfriend, probably will react very poorly if he does

1123
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,799
Speaker 3: reach out to someone, if he does try and get

1124
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 3: her help. But I think it has to be done

1125
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 3: either way, because you are not I think it's telling

1126
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 3: him that he is not equipped to save her.

1127
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 2: He cannot save her.

1128
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's the only one who could say herself, but

1129
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 3: to help her he did.

1130
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: One of the reasons that she may be mad is

1131
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 1: like you are now taking the power away from those

1132
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: actions used to control control you.

1133
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I think it's just telling him that he's

1134
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 3: just he's on a professional he can't help her. And

1135
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 3: if he wants to help her. The best way to

1136
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 3: do that is to find that professional to talk to

1137
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 3: her support system. Hopefully she has that inner like family

1138
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:15,839
Speaker 3: or something, some sort of adult figure in her life. Like, yes,

1139
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 3: he is an adult, but like you know someone who

1140
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 3: actually has kind of maybe she's dependent to, like a

1141
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 3: parent or something like that.

1142
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 1: But it sounds like your parents are not involved.

1143
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is true.

1144
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 3: Tough.

1145
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, find someone else that you can pass off

1146
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 1: this responsibility too.

1147
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, Faith reacts, as he could talk to his therapist

1148
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 2: to get advice on that. That's a great point.

1149
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: A good point. That's a good point. But I got

1150
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 1: a little bit more of this story, so we're to

1151
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,439
Speaker 1: jump in. He shared his concerns and his girlfriend said

1152
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 1: she understood he needs space. She's not hearing him at all,

1153
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 1: as space is the least of his problems. He's tried

1154
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 1: in the last month setting boundaries, to which all attempts failed.

1155
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 1: Well after this past weekend of not visiting, she was

1156
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: on spring break and decided to take a leave of

1157
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 1: absence from school to her mental health tanking from the relationship.

1158
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,320
Speaker 1: She told him if he leaves her, she will be

1159
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: checking herself into a psychiatric hospital. Revving up the copulation. Good, honestly,

1160
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 1: not at that.

1161
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:05,480
Speaker 2: He's amazing.

1162
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, oh, oh good, okay, great, I

1163
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 1: mean not great.

1164
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 2: But like like, I mean, honestly, yes, good for her.

1165
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 2: She needs that.

1166
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:15,360
Speaker 1: Last night I asked my brother in a lot how

1167
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 1: things were going, and he just loudly exhaled and opened

1168
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,440
Speaker 1: his phone, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, and showed me

1169
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 1: novel length texts she's been sending. He has not responded.

1170
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 1: I'm hoping this is the beginning of his exit, as

1171
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 1: he has been much lighter and cheerful since therapy. He's

1172
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 1: humming when he's walking around the house, joining us for dinner,

1173
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:33,439
Speaker 1: hanging out with us in some of his free time,

1174
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:37,399
Speaker 1: showering daily, and taking some time for him. I wish

1175
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:39,319
Speaker 1: his girl friend and nothing but the best, and hope

1176
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,399
Speaker 1: she can get better for herself. But it's nice seeing

1177
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 1: my brother in law smile and laugh again. He's been

1178
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: traumatized his entire life, and seeing him in such an

1179
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:51,720
Speaker 1: unhealthy dynamic as borderline sickening. Because I love him dearly.

1180
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:55,240
Speaker 2: Wow, Oh he must feel so vindicated.

1181
00:52:55,920 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 1: Whoooo yeah, dude, Oh he feels great. She's like I

1182
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: saw this from the beginning, but she didn't say hi,

1183
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: what wasn't she what she wanted that mac and cheese.

1184
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:11,440
Speaker 1: I knew the beginning of got vegetarianism.

1185
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 2: You got it, You got us. Op. Opie wins this round.

1186
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,839
Speaker 1: O p wins this round. But tell me what you think.

1187
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: Was OP too overbearing? Was OP too much? Was OP

1188
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:25,879
Speaker 1: the a hole at certain points in this story let

1189
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 1: us know. Put your answers in the comments below. But

1190
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 1: that's where that story ends, and that episode gosh darn

1191
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 1: toutin flad putin. So if you love us, make sure

1192
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:41,320
Speaker 1: to subscribe We love you, and see it tomorrow