Speaker 1: Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Listen if you think you
Speaker 1: just need, you know, a little wisdom, some encouragement, this
Speaker 1: is the episode for you to listen to. We're going
Speaker 1: to talk about all things trust, the difference between living
Speaker 1: and just existing. I just felt the need to encourage
Speaker 1: some of the listeners out there. Y'all have been rocking
Speaker 1: with me now for three years, and I said every episode,
Speaker 1: I don't take your listening and you're downloading the episodes
Speaker 1: for granted add at all. Maybe tug on a friend
Speaker 1: and tell them, hey, this episode is for you. All right, y'all,
Speaker 1: we are really in the month of May. It really
Speaker 1: is the fifth month of twenty twenty three, y'all. This
Speaker 1: month is moving, This year is moving, and I hope
Speaker 1: you're moving with it. I began to think about the
Speaker 1: difference between living and existing and just trying to gauge
Speaker 1: the areas that I've just been existing in and areas
Speaker 1: that I think I'm thriving in, thriving and living because
Speaker 1: life is going to always present a set of challenges,
Speaker 1: and my desire is for divine strategy and divine wisdom
Speaker 1: on how to navigate the obstacles and challenges that come
Speaker 1: my way, not only divine wisdom and strategies on how
Speaker 1: to overcome those obstacles. It's like, okay, also, Lord place
Speaker 1: divine help around me. But that is going to require trust,
Speaker 1: which I think I've said before, I haven't had an assistant. Ooh,
Speaker 1: I haven't had a real assistant in over ten years
Speaker 1: because of my lack of trust. And I've got to
Speaker 1: get over that. I've got to give people an opportunity
Speaker 1: not to prove themselves, because I wouldn't want anyone to
Speaker 1: work for me and think they have to perform for
Speaker 1: my trust. Now what do I mean perform? Well, let
Speaker 1: me do this to make sure that she no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. I want you to be you. And I've
Speaker 1: been reading this book. It's a brand new book by
Speaker 1: doctor Henry Cloud called Trust. So y'all know doctor Henry
Speaker 1: Cloud is one of my favorite author of Safe People
Speaker 1: and Boundaries. He's got a few different versions of boundaries.
Speaker 1: He's got boundaries and dating boundary, I mean just so many.
Speaker 1: He's the bomb, amazing great psychologists, but he talks to
Speaker 1: you in a practical way. He's from Louisiana. So he's
Speaker 1: got a definite down to earth approach. And the subtitle
Speaker 1: of his book Trust is called knowing when to give it,
Speaker 1: when to withhold it, how to earn it, and how
Speaker 1: to fix it when it gets broken. So I'm going
Speaker 1: to dive into some of those excerpts later. But I
Speaker 1: was trying to just figure out areas that I'm thriving
Speaker 1: in and then areas where, man, have I just gotten
Speaker 1: so numb in certain areas, And so I just felt
Speaker 1: led to encourage some folks out there who are kind
Speaker 1: of walking through life a little numb, because that's how
Speaker 1: you've chosen to protect yourself. You know, like when you
Speaker 1: go to the doctor and they have to give you
Speaker 1: a shot, or you're getting some dental work done and
Speaker 1: you gotta get a shot so they'll numb the area,
Speaker 1: and it's kind of like for your protection, so that
Speaker 1: you don't feel the pain. I will never forget a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago, I had a dream that I
Speaker 1: was being rolled into a surgical room and I was
Speaker 1: getting surgery or they were gonna cut a leg or something,
Speaker 1: but they did not want to give me anesthesia, and
Speaker 1: I remember I kept screaming I don't want to feel
Speaker 1: the pain. I don't want to feel the pain. I
Speaker 1: don't want to feel the pain. Like bro, give me medicine,
Speaker 1: give me anesthesia. Numb the area. So, yes, numbing the
Speaker 1: area that's painful before you put a needle lined or
Speaker 1: do surgery or whatever. Yeah, that's good. It is a
Speaker 1: form of protection so that we're not terrorized by pain later,
Speaker 1: so that we're not terrorized to go to the doctor,
Speaker 1: you know, for surgery or to get you know, a
Speaker 1: shot or medicine, and you got to get an IV.
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. But there are some
Speaker 1: times where you're gonna actually have to feel the pain
Speaker 1: in order to heal the pain. I cannot heal something
Speaker 1: that I don't feel. You cannot walk around numb your
Speaker 1: entire life, because to me, when you're walking around no,
Speaker 1: that means there's some areas of healing. And I think
Speaker 1: we lessen the quality of life when we walk around
Speaker 1: just so numb and we just want to be so disassociated.
Speaker 1: And actually disassociation is actually a trauma response. It's what
Speaker 1: is happening to you as you are being abused or
Speaker 1: in an unsafe environment. You literally mentally disassociate yourself. It's
Speaker 1: like out of body. I don't want to see it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it. I don't want to
Speaker 1: feel it. I remember back in twenty eighteen, I had
Speaker 1: a moment of disassociation, and I don't remember the phone
Speaker 1: calls made to me. I don't remember anything that I
Speaker 1: even did in that period of time. So you can chucks.
Speaker 1: It could be disassociation, or it could even be a
Speaker 1: psychotic break, like you're so traumatized you just now. This
Speaker 1: is different to me blacking out before to do harm
Speaker 1: to somebody else. I'm talking about what happens when something
Speaker 1: has been done to you, or you've gotten some news
Speaker 1: that you just couldn't handle. Have you ever seen a
Speaker 1: love doing or maybe yourself when you got news that
Speaker 1: someone passed away and it was unexpected and you pass out,
Speaker 1: You black out, You don't remember anything right. But then
Speaker 1: there's sometimes where we are aware of the moment, but
Speaker 1: for the future, we just do things in our life
Speaker 1: where we're like, you know, I don't want to feel
Speaker 1: the pain. It's because you don't want to feel the pain.
Speaker 1: You won't go over Grandma's house anymore because y'all are
Speaker 1: so close. And when she passed away. You just can't.
Speaker 1: You don't want to feel the pain. You don't want to.
Speaker 1: You don't want to smell fried chicken no more because
Speaker 1: it reminds you of your best friend, because y'all used
Speaker 1: to smoke weed and eat chicken wings when you had
Speaker 1: the munchies, and now they're no longer here. Or you're
Speaker 1: even reading someone who's actually maybe y'all broke up and
Speaker 1: you just want to disassociate yourself from the memories, or
Speaker 1: you want to disassociate yourself from the pain that they
Speaker 1: caused you. I get it, but we got to heal
Speaker 1: that pain so we can be able to feel the
Speaker 1: wind on our cheeks, the sun beat on our face.
Speaker 1: You want to be able to feel the love that
Speaker 1: someone else is trying to give you, But because you're
Speaker 1: so blocked off, you can't feel love. And I know
Speaker 1: you ain't given love. So I just wanted to speak
Speaker 1: into that, you know, and sometimes in order to feel
Speaker 1: the pain to heal it, I would encourage you to
Speaker 1: unpack that pain with someone, a professional or someone that
Speaker 1: you deem safe. Well, what do you mean, Michelle, So
Speaker 1: if you want to unpack your pain with someone and
Speaker 1: process your pain, with a friend. Some steps are asked
Speaker 1: that friend and be like, hey, I want to process
Speaker 1: something with you, something that's just been weighing me down.
Speaker 1: But before I unload on you emotionally, are you in
Speaker 1: a place to help me right now? Now? You're a
Speaker 1: safe person, And if that person is a safe person,
Speaker 1: you are giving them the choice to say, of course,
Speaker 1: let's talk. Or that person might say, Hey, let me
Speaker 1: put my kids to bed right quick, let me feed
Speaker 1: the dogs, let me make sure my partner has eaten,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna call you back in an hour. Or
Speaker 1: that person might say I want to give y'all permission
Speaker 1: to even tell that person like, man, I'm in a
Speaker 1: place right now that I can listen, But I just
Speaker 1: want to let you know I'm in a place right
Speaker 1: now where you might not want to hear my advice
Speaker 1: on a situation because I'm going through it too. So
Speaker 1: I'm just giving you variations of of how to ask
Speaker 1: somebody and and what a safe person's response can be.
Speaker 1: An unsafe person will be like, man, I hope we
Speaker 1: ain't finna talk about so and so because I told
Speaker 1: you not to date them in the first place. See
Speaker 1: if you didn't date them you wouldn't be heartbroken if
Speaker 1: man I told you not to move back to so
Speaker 1: and so. That's unsafe a safe person. I've already given
Speaker 1: you a couple variations of how a safe person will
Speaker 1: respond if you decide you want to unpack the pain
Speaker 1: or unpacked the pain with a professional counselor. But I
Speaker 1: really want you to get that weight off of you.
Speaker 1: I feel like the pain you carry is weight. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like imagine if you're trying to walk on
Speaker 1: a beautiful beach and you got buckets in your hand
Speaker 1: because you're supposed to be collecting sand, but it's nothing
Speaker 1: but stones, and each stone represents pain you're carrying. Each
Speaker 1: stone represents betrayal, disappointment, regret, And it seems like it's
Speaker 1: light to carry at first, but the longer you keep walking,
Speaker 1: it gets heavier. So I want you to be able
Speaker 1: to walk through life and unburden yourselves. I want you
Speaker 1: to lighten your load. To my friends that are listening,
Speaker 1: who listen every week, I want to call your name individually,
Speaker 1: but baby girl, unload that pain. That pain is not
Speaker 1: your identity. It is not who you are. The pain
Speaker 1: that someone inflicted on you is not who you are
Speaker 1: the disappointment you feel. That's not your identity. You have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with that. But you are responsible for
Speaker 1: your healing. You cannot put your healing in the hands
Speaker 1: of the person that hurt you in the first place.
Speaker 1: Nine times out of ten they have moved on with
Speaker 1: their life. They probably don't even know that you hurt.
Speaker 1: They hurt you because they're so toxic, they're so used
Speaker 1: to living in dysfunction that they think it's normal. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it is not normal. Just because you survive dysfunction, don't
Speaker 1: mean it's normal, all right. Surviving abuse, being abused is
Speaker 1: not normal, verbally, physically, in any kind of way. It's
Speaker 1: not cool, all right. So that will get you to
Speaker 1: a place of living and not just existing because you
Speaker 1: chose to numb yourself because of all the pain that
Speaker 1: you're in. And maybe maybe you're not the person in pain.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're in relationship with someone who is and it's
Speaker 1: affecting the quality of your relationships. And I'm not just
Speaker 1: talking about romantic relationships, just people you friends with. Some
Speaker 1: how you cool it. They always come into the house down,
Speaker 1: They always negative that they're in pain. Help them, maybe
Speaker 1: initiate the conversation and be like, friend, it's been about
Speaker 1: four years. I don't know whether it's been a year
Speaker 1: four years and we keep talking about the same thing,
Speaker 1: or I knowice like you just seem so irritable, and
Speaker 1: irritability is often mistake for anger when it's really depression,
Speaker 1: all right. So that person could just be depressed because
Speaker 1: they haven't had an outlet or a safe place to
Speaker 1: share you know what they've been going through, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. My pastor said something on Sunday, He
Speaker 1: said some people want attention, not intervention. So you gonna
Speaker 1: have those people in your life as well. But make
Speaker 1: sure it's not you, all right, And make sure that
Speaker 1: when a person is talking to you, you have permission
Speaker 1: to say I hear what you're saying, and thank you
Speaker 1: so much for sharing. Are you just wanting me to listen?
Speaker 1: Or do you want my advice? Or can I help
Speaker 1: you with a solution, especially if you have a track
Speaker 1: record of great solutions, Especially if you have a great
Speaker 1: track record like I'm gonna take advice from somebody who
Speaker 1: got a life that I want to live. Well, I
Speaker 1: guess you can also listen to people who live a
Speaker 1: life you don't want to live because of bad choices
Speaker 1: that they made. You can look at them and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you a blueprint and you out of life that I
Speaker 1: don't want to live, but it's a possibility. Like I
Speaker 1: feel like I have the authority to speak on areas
Speaker 1: of healing depression, anxiety. I feel like I've walked through enough.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've overcome enough. I feel like I believe.
Speaker 1: I hope I've been a good witness to y'all about
Speaker 1: being resilient, getting that bounced back, you know, from situations
Speaker 1: that were meant to kill me, humiliate me, embarrass me,
Speaker 1: or make me just want to give up on life.
Speaker 1: Through the grace of God and y'all's prayers and support, oooh,
Speaker 1: I'm here. I'm here, and there are so many other
Speaker 1: people who've got a great track record of living this
Speaker 1: life that you can talk to. And so I really
Speaker 1: pray that, and I hope y'all allow me to say
Speaker 1: the word pray. My prayer is that you get surrounded
Speaker 1: with safe people and people you can trust. So, speaking
Speaker 1: of trust, I have been reading this book called Trust
Speaker 1: by doctor Henry Cloud. Again. The subtitle is knowing when
Speaker 1: to give it, when to withhold it, how to earn it,
Speaker 1: and how to fix it when it gets broken. Y'all,
Speaker 1: we gotta trust. Have you ever heard people that say,
Speaker 1: I don't trust nobody, but you get on an airplane.
Speaker 1: You don't know the pilot, you don't know the flight attendance,
Speaker 1: but you on that plane. I don't trust nobody, but
Speaker 1: you get your food delivered. I don't trust nobody, but
Speaker 1: you drive a car hoping that everybody obeys the traffic
Speaker 1: signals and stop signs. Child, you ain't got that one person,
Speaker 1: So ask them if you don't trust nobody. You took
Speaker 1: the subway to work today, did you trust the conductor
Speaker 1: and that the train would not derail based on the
Speaker 1: people that are to ensure that the train stays on
Speaker 1: the rail. So you trust somebody, all right? Ain't that funny?
Speaker 1: So there are some things in the book where he
Speaker 1: says we can become better and better at knowing who
Speaker 1: is trustworthy and who is not, and we can get
Speaker 1: better at deciding when and with whom we will put
Speaker 1: ourselves at risk. Loving someone is a risk. Being in
Speaker 1: relationship with some is a risk. Chow some of your
Speaker 1: coworkers is a risk, But it is a risk that
Speaker 1: majority of the time you will find that it was
Speaker 1: a risk worth taking. There's a part in this book
Speaker 1: that says, possibly everyone reading this book, including me, has
Speaker 1: been victimized by a betrayal small or large that still stings.
Speaker 1: We all have our stories of misplaced trust. We either
Speaker 1: missed warning signs and moved forward when we shouldn't have,
Speaker 1: or worse, the warning signs were not visible, y'all. I
Speaker 1: definitely moved forward on something when I shouldn't have. Before,
Speaker 1: I moved forward on doing a reality show when something
Speaker 1: in the pit of my stomach said do not do it,
Speaker 1: and we did it anyway, And I think we both
Speaker 1: did it because we were like, no, this is just
Speaker 1: the first time of doing something like this. We're just afraid. No. No,
Speaker 1: God was trying to protect. He was trying to protect
Speaker 1: so much in that season of my life, but I
Speaker 1: did not heed to that warning. Missing warning signs. This
Speaker 1: book says everything about the situation looked good on the surface,
Speaker 1: and maybe it was, but we got burned. Anyway, when
Speaker 1: we look back, we say to ourselves, I just didn't
Speaker 1: see that coming, or how could they have done that
Speaker 1: to me? We were such good friends or lovers or partners.
Speaker 1: How could they have treated me that way? And sometimes
Speaker 1: it is not even an actual betrayal, but someone's honest
Speaker 1: inability to do what we need. We don't have good answers,
Speaker 1: but we do have scars. I promise you that you
Speaker 1: will never be betrayed or let down again after reading
Speaker 1: this book. Okay. One of the goals of the book
Speaker 1: is to equip you to know how to read between
Speaker 1: the lines of what someone tells you, tries to sell you,
Speaker 1: or promises you, and to be able to see what
Speaker 1: is trustworthy and what is not. Listen, I got to
Speaker 1: have him on the podcast. But this blessed me so
Speaker 1: much and blessed me so much, especially when you are
Speaker 1: in a situation where you're like, Okay, I don't trust,
Speaker 1: but I want to trust. This book even says that
Speaker 1: trust muscles can be repaired. Isn't that encouraging? Because maybe
Speaker 1: you were the person that inflicted pain, right, and so
Speaker 1: you are worth looking to establish trust in a relationship again.
Speaker 1: And so I was encouraged. You know when he said
Speaker 1: in the book that trust muscles can be repaired. You
Speaker 1: gotta heal first, get past the anger and need for
Speaker 1: revenge and forgive ponder and determine its reconciliation possible, and
Speaker 1: then a new track record being built. So while you're
Speaker 1: building those trust muscles, somebody should be able to look
Speaker 1: back and say, ma'am, you really hurt me or you
Speaker 1: really disappointed me, but your track record these past six
Speaker 1: months or this past year has helped me rebuild my
Speaker 1: trust in you. Listen, you ain't perfect. I'm not perfect.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna need someone to trust me again.
Speaker 1: And I have been in that place where I needed
Speaker 1: someone to trust me again. And I love I love love, love,
Speaker 1: love love love. The five essentials of trust, he says
Speaker 1: that you can trust someone when you feel your needs
Speaker 1: or understood, felt and cared about. So that's understanding. The
Speaker 1: second essential love trust is motive, when he says you
Speaker 1: can trust someone when you feel their motive is for you,
Speaker 1: not just for themselves. I have been in situations where
Speaker 1: I've been asked to do something and I be like, now,
Speaker 1: how that's gonna work out for me? What's in it
Speaker 1: for me? Now? There are moments where you do do
Speaker 1: things for people because you're like, God's been so good
Speaker 1: to me. I don't need nothing out of this I'm
Speaker 1: gonna show up, I'm there, let's go. But then there
Speaker 1: are some people you're like, they kind of got an
Speaker 1: opportuneist spirit on them, right, So you can trust someone
Speaker 1: when you feel that even when they ask of you
Speaker 1: to do something, you still feel like their motive is
Speaker 1: for you and not just for themselves. A thirty central
Speaker 1: love trust is ability. You can trust someone when you
Speaker 1: feel they have the ability or capacity to guard and
Speaker 1: deliver results for what you have and trusted to them. Okay,
Speaker 1: some of y'all are in partnership with a friend loved one.
Speaker 1: Y'all are opening up a business. Uh, y'all decided, Hey,
Speaker 1: we gonna do a food truck, or we gonna have
Speaker 1: a dance group, or we're gonna design clothes together. And
Speaker 1: they keep missing deadlines, your trust is eventually waning or
Speaker 1: they barely meet the deadline, and you're like, I don't
Speaker 1: trust that you're gonna deliver. I don't trust that you
Speaker 1: can do this work. So another essential of trust is
Speaker 1: the ability. Do they have the ability to deliver results
Speaker 1: for what you've been trusted them to do. Maybe you
Speaker 1: have a company and you've hired someone and they keep
Speaker 1: dropping the ball. The amazing thing about this book is
Speaker 1: just not trust as it relates to romantic partners or family.
Speaker 1: It's also for leaders. It's also for business owners. It's
Speaker 1: you know, you're like, yo, I got employees, and to
Speaker 1: what them keep dropping the ball. I'm starting to lose
Speaker 1: trust in them. Baby, listen, they gotta know honey, you
Speaker 1: lose and trust in them and they finna lose what
Speaker 1: they say, You about to lose your job. The fourth
Speaker 1: e centerl of trust is character. You can trust someone
Speaker 1: who has the character or personal makeup needed for what
Speaker 1: you and trust them with Trusting someone who has the character. Ooh.
Speaker 1: Character is so important because it's not it's not what
Speaker 1: you do really on stage, it's how are you off
Speaker 1: the stage? It's not what you do in front of everybody.
Speaker 1: What are you like behind closed doors? Hey? Oh, I
Speaker 1: know for me, that's something you gotta work on every
Speaker 1: day because I don't want to be the person where
Speaker 1: it's like the world adores me, but my kids one
Speaker 1: day or my husband one day is lit. But she
Speaker 1: was a witch at home? You know what I mean? Like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you will all of that to match. No, it's all
Speaker 1: gotta make sense. Character people, the fifth essentials of trust
Speaker 1: is you can trust someone who has a track record
Speaker 1: of performing in the ways you need them to perform.
Speaker 1: Track record, all right, you can trust someone who has
Speaker 1: the track record of just showing up when people say
Speaker 1: they're gonna do something. They're there, you're getting ready to move,
Speaker 1: and someone says, Okay, I'm beat, I may help you
Speaker 1: pack it all up, and I'm gonna let you use
Speaker 1: my truck, and we wo and then they don't show up,
Speaker 1: they don't call, and they've done this like twice on you.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Y'all. It blessed me so much. And the
Speaker 1: five essentials of trust again, those five essentials are under standing, motive, ability, character,
Speaker 1: and track record. But y'all, it made me ask two
Speaker 1: questions of myself. It made me ask who is in
Speaker 1: my life that has these five essentials? Who is in
Speaker 1: your life that has those five essentials? And then the
Speaker 1: other question I had was do I carry these essentials
Speaker 1: in me? Can people say that I have those five
Speaker 1: essentials of trust? I've been big on talking about setting boundaries, right,
Speaker 1: but like, how many people have maybe had to set
Speaker 1: a boundary with me, Lisa, I'm setting boundaries. I don't
Speaker 1: trust nobody. Well, do people trust you? Do you carry
Speaker 1: those five trust essentials? Can people say your motive is pure?
Speaker 1: Can people say that you show up up? Can people
Speaker 1: say you know what so and so is a hot mess?
Speaker 1: But they are consistent, they got my back. I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1: I know I got at least one hand of people
Speaker 1: that I can name right now that are consistent. We
Speaker 1: might not talk every day every week, but they are
Speaker 1: consistent in showing up. They are consistent in how they
Speaker 1: move towards me and with me. I'm thankful, I'm super thankful.
Speaker 1: But I always got to make sure that that level
Speaker 1: of trust and how I need people to show up
Speaker 1: for me. I gotta make sure that I show up
Speaker 1: for them and don't just show up when it's convenient.
Speaker 1: Isn't it something where you're like, you know, I got
Speaker 1: a call off work, but I'm gonna be there for
Speaker 1: you in your time need. I'm gonna take a vacation
Speaker 1: day and I'm gonna be there. Somebody might lost their parents,
Speaker 1: lost a loved one, or lost a job and they're
Speaker 1: going through depression. Can you show up for somebody? Can
Speaker 1: you instacart them some some groceries? Child, I'll never forget
Speaker 1: during COVID, if folks that I knew were sick, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, well, at least let me send you some
Speaker 1: ginger rell because I ain't coming to your house. But
Speaker 1: let me send you this good old chicken soup and
Speaker 1: some turmeric and ginger probiotic. You know them little drinks
Speaker 1: that you can just shoot them and just swallow them
Speaker 1: in like two seconds. Yeah, that's me. That's me. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna send you some groceries in a minute, now, that's me.
Speaker 1: But as you get older, you really value and cherish
Speaker 1: relationships more than ever before. I really value and cherish
Speaker 1: the relationships that I have, and I certainly certain lead
Speaker 1: value you. I really do. I certainly value the relationships
Speaker 1: that I have with you, guys, and truly truly thankful.
Speaker 1: So let me know. When it comes to trust, it's
Speaker 1: not a game. It says to trust is human. When
Speaker 1: we can't trust, we lose a lot of the human experience.
Speaker 1: He's a psychologist, so he was saying, how you might
Speaker 1: have heard of mirror neurons. They are another example of
Speaker 1: how we are wired for trust. In the most basic terms,
Speaker 1: neurons function as communicators in the body. They receive and
Speaker 1: transmit information and stimuli. I mean, he's going really, really,
Speaker 1: really really into it, he says. The brain of the
Speaker 1: person we are talking to forms a connection with us
Speaker 1: and mirrors our feelings and expressions in a deep, natural bond.
Speaker 1: That cause is the two of us to connect even
Speaker 1: more deeply. Love, growth, faith, physical health, economic success, and more.
Speaker 1: These all run on trust, and without trust, things stagnate
Speaker 1: or even die. When we realize that trust is not optional,
Speaker 1: that all of human life is designed and wired to
Speaker 1: only work when we trust, we begin to treat trust
Speaker 1: with the utmost respect. Listen, trust, It sounds like to me,
Speaker 1: trust is a gift and we just got to know
Speaker 1: when to give it, when to withhold it. Trust is
Speaker 1: a gift, how to earn it, and how to fix
Speaker 1: it when it gets broken. If someone you love has
Speaker 1: broken their trust with you, but you want to trust
Speaker 1: them again, or you want them to make sure that
Speaker 1: they're building that track creck trust record of trust, I
Speaker 1: would say, get this book. Trust Doctor Henry Cloud is
Speaker 1: a trusted voice. And so I want to say this
Speaker 1: before I go. I want to apologize to you. If
Speaker 1: you feel like no one has apologized to you for
Speaker 1: the area that you were disappointed in a betrayal of trust.
Speaker 1: I want to apologize to you, and I want to
Speaker 1: encourage you to start working on the healing journey on
Speaker 1: your own. Because some of us are upset about apologies.
Speaker 1: We will never get all right, So I want you
Speaker 1: to thrive. I want you to live. I don't want
Speaker 1: you to just walk around here numb and just existing
Speaker 1: like a zombie. Matter of fact, listen to JJ Harriston's
Speaker 1: song it's called You're Gonna Live because you're gonna live
Speaker 1: to see it happen. You're gonna live to see you
Speaker 1: trusting again. You're gonna live to see you loving again.
Speaker 1: You're gonna see you thriving again, all right, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna see you picking up that area where you had
Speaker 1: big dreams and you just set it down because you
Speaker 1: don't trust. No, that's not gonna be your portion. Because
Speaker 1: by the end of this year, I pray to get
Speaker 1: one testimony from this episode that you've decided to live
Speaker 1: and trust. I truly, truly hope and pray that this
Speaker 1: episode touched your heart, maybe is helping you and causing
Speaker 1: you to think of things in another way as it
Speaker 1: relates to trust. Who to trust, when to trust, should
Speaker 1: you trust ever again? And that you begin to live
Speaker 1: life if you are one of the ones who have
Speaker 1: just been kind of walking through life, existing and just
Speaker 1: kind of numb to everything, because that's how you've chosen
Speaker 1: to protect yourself. Always know that I love you. You
Speaker 1: are so loved. If you need any resources, please don't
Speaker 1: hesitate to DM me on Instagram. My instagram is at
Speaker 1: Michelle Williams. All Right, I love y'all so so much,
Speaker 1: and thank you for tuning in to another episode of
Speaker 1: Checking In. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.