1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,435 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Trump 2 00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:24,595 Speaker 1: has conveniently confirmed the report that if we do not 3 00:00:24,715 --> 00:00:27,755 Speaker 1: stop him, he will reoccupy the White House and unleash 4 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:32,755 Speaker 1: a reign of retributive prosecutorial terror against his political opponents 5 00:00:33,475 --> 00:00:38,875 Speaker 1: on literally trumped up charges. This was the Washington Post 6 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:42,155 Speaker 1: story last Sunday, and now Trump has verified it. In fact, 7 00:00:42,195 --> 00:00:45,155 Speaker 1: it is worse than the Post first suggested. It is 8 00:00:45,355 --> 00:00:50,595 Speaker 1: pure banana Republican use the law to crush political opposition stuff. 9 00:00:51,235 --> 00:00:54,875 Speaker 1: On Une Vision last night. If I happen to be 10 00:00:55,035 --> 00:00:58,875 Speaker 1: president and I see somebody who's doing well and beating 11 00:00:58,915 --> 00:01:02,555 Speaker 1: me very badly, I say go down and indict them. 12 00:01:02,995 --> 00:01:06,315 Speaker 1: They'd be out of business, they'd be out of the election. 13 00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:12,595 Speaker 1: Trumped up charges blamed it on the Democrats too, because 14 00:01:12,675 --> 00:01:16,155 Speaker 1: he tried to overthrow the election, and yet a Department 15 00:01:16,155 --> 00:01:19,555 Speaker 1: of Justice under a democratic administration has had the effrontery 16 00:01:19,715 --> 00:01:23,915 Speaker 1: to prosecute him for it. And even in that, he 17 00:01:23,995 --> 00:01:26,835 Speaker 1: not only underscored that he is planning political revenge and 18 00:01:26,915 --> 00:01:30,035 Speaker 1: perverting justice, and that he has no understanding that there 19 00:01:30,035 --> 00:01:33,315 Speaker 1: are things called right and wrong, but he again showed 20 00:01:33,355 --> 00:01:38,155 Speaker 1: off that his already Swiss cheese brain is rotting faster 21 00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:42,635 Speaker 1: than previously understood. What they've done is he said, they've 22 00:01:42,675 --> 00:01:50,155 Speaker 1: released the genie out of the box. Nice mangled idiom 23 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:55,515 Speaker 1: dementia Jay. Let's next hear about Pandora's bottle, you fool. 24 00:01:56,915 --> 00:01:59,275 Speaker 1: As to the other nightmare headline from Sunday's Peace in 25 00:01:59,315 --> 00:02:02,795 Speaker 1: the Post, he didn't deny, confirm, or reveal. It was 26 00:02:02,835 --> 00:02:05,675 Speaker 1: worse because they did not add ask him about this. 27 00:02:06,715 --> 00:02:09,875 Speaker 1: There are those among his cultive thugs who have plans 28 00:02:10,235 --> 00:02:13,475 Speaker 1: to have him invoke the Insurrection Act on the day 29 00:02:13,915 --> 00:02:17,875 Speaker 1: of his theoretical inauguration January twentieth, twenty twenty five, and 30 00:02:17,995 --> 00:02:22,355 Speaker 1: apparently to leave it in place, thus enabling Trump to 31 00:02:22,555 --> 00:02:26,835 Speaker 1: use the military to suppress any civilian disorder, and of 32 00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:29,395 Speaker 1: course that would allow him to declare that anything in 33 00:02:29,435 --> 00:02:32,795 Speaker 1: public that he does not like is civilian disorder, and 34 00:02:32,915 --> 00:02:36,515 Speaker 1: at that moment you and I are living in a 35 00:02:36,595 --> 00:02:41,955 Speaker 1: military dictatorship. Again. If you have not sent the Post 36 00:02:42,075 --> 00:02:47,035 Speaker 1: article to everyone you know, do so now, as we 37 00:02:47,155 --> 00:02:51,075 Speaker 1: both know this was the plan the Insurrection Act in 38 00:02:51,155 --> 00:02:53,595 Speaker 1: early January twenty twenty one. The plan of the would 39 00:02:53,635 --> 00:02:57,155 Speaker 1: be Attorney General Jeff Clark, who is under indictment with 40 00:02:57,275 --> 00:02:59,435 Speaker 1: the rest of the Trump Georgia nineteen, who did not 41 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:03,555 Speaker 1: make play deals and is an unindicted co conspirator in 42 00:03:03,715 --> 00:03:08,795 Speaker 1: Jack Smith's election subversion case. Clark has again bubbled to 43 00:03:08,915 --> 00:03:12,115 Speaker 1: the surface of the cesspool that is the world of Trump. 44 00:03:12,595 --> 00:03:16,075 Speaker 1: After a year of successfully delaying action in Washington to 45 00:03:16,235 --> 00:03:19,515 Speaker 1: disbar him, he was ordered to a hearing on January ninth, 46 00:03:19,555 --> 00:03:21,475 Speaker 1: and he has now had the gall to use that 47 00:03:21,675 --> 00:03:25,435 Speaker 1: as an excuse to ask the judge in the Fannie 48 00:03:25,435 --> 00:03:30,435 Speaker 1: Willis case to delay his trial in Atlanta for three months. 49 00:03:31,995 --> 00:03:35,035 Speaker 1: You don't have to be Trump to delay in hopes 50 00:03:35,155 --> 00:03:38,155 Speaker 1: that the election will let all the evil indicted genies 51 00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:42,955 Speaker 1: out of the box. Clark had the gall to right. 52 00:03:43,115 --> 00:03:45,795 Speaker 1: It is a sign of a world gone mad that 53 00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:49,315 Speaker 1: all of this is over a confidential draft of a 54 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:54,075 Speaker 1: letter that was never even sent. What do you mean 55 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,675 Speaker 1: attempted murder? What kind of charges that? What do you 56 00:03:57,675 --> 00:04:00,915 Speaker 1: mean attempted revolution against the duly elected government of the 57 00:04:01,035 --> 00:04:04,115 Speaker 1: United States? Just because we talked about this in the 58 00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:10,195 Speaker 1: Oval office, seizing the voting machines with the president, I 59 00:04:10,235 --> 00:04:14,515 Speaker 1: am reminded of the Charles Chill Adams cartoon in a 60 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:18,355 Speaker 1: patent office. A meek man literally holding his hat in 61 00:04:18,435 --> 00:04:21,755 Speaker 1: his hands, is looking at the patent official who is 62 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:27,075 Speaker 1: pointing a futuristic Sci Fi ready sleek shaped weapon out 63 00:04:27,115 --> 00:04:30,635 Speaker 1: an open window towards crowds visible on the street below. 64 00:04:31,195 --> 00:04:36,355 Speaker 1: And the patent guy is speaking death ray fiddlesticks. It 65 00:04:36,395 --> 00:04:43,035 Speaker 1: doesn't even slow them down. Now back on defense. Two 66 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:46,195 Speaker 1: of the great moments of American political history during Watergate 67 00:04:46,555 --> 00:04:49,235 Speaker 1: were enacted by two of the least famous people in 68 00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:53,235 Speaker 1: American political history, a building security guard named Frank Wills 69 00:04:53,675 --> 00:04:58,355 Speaker 1: and the deputy Assistant to the President Alex Butterfield. And 70 00:04:58,395 --> 00:05:02,835 Speaker 1: that number of the unfamous making the famous infamous may 71 00:05:02,915 --> 00:05:06,835 Speaker 1: yet grown. Three sources who say that in February twenty 72 00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:10,995 Speaker 1: twenty two, a guy, a woodworker, came into the residence 73 00:05:11,035 --> 00:05:16,115 Speaker 1: at Mary Lago to install crown molding in Trump's bedroom. 74 00:05:17,635 --> 00:05:20,635 Speaker 1: I'm guessing it was gold in color. Quoting one of 75 00:05:20,715 --> 00:05:24,675 Speaker 1: those sources, the crown molder quote thinks he saw things, 76 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,675 Speaker 1: doesn't know what they were. He eventually told investigators he 77 00:05:28,715 --> 00:05:33,675 Speaker 1: thought what he saw maybe a movie prop. The movie 78 00:05:33,715 --> 00:05:41,475 Speaker 1: prompt an unusual looking supply of papers in Trump's bedroom. Now, 79 00:05:41,595 --> 00:05:46,035 Speaker 1: Jack Smith may call the Crown molding guy to testify 80 00:05:46,275 --> 00:05:51,755 Speaker 1: against Trump in the stolen classified documents case in Florida. 81 00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:56,155 Speaker 1: He may also call the chauffeur Hooper. The CNN report 82 00:05:56,235 --> 00:06:00,715 Speaker 1: quote was asked by investigators about powerful business people, including foreigners, 83 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:04,315 Speaker 1: who had visited the club as VIP guests. Well that 84 00:06:04,435 --> 00:06:06,595 Speaker 1: all already hit pay dirt. One of the foreigners the 85 00:06:06,595 --> 00:06:10,315 Speaker 1: guy drove around was Anthony Pratt, who in turn revealed 86 00:06:10,355 --> 00:06:13,675 Speaker 1: Trump had shared nuclear submarine secrets with him, and Pratt, 87 00:06:13,675 --> 00:06:16,795 Speaker 1: in turn only told a few others, only forty five 88 00:06:16,915 --> 00:06:21,675 Speaker 1: other people, only three former Prime Ministers of Australia. Smith 89 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,675 Speaker 1: has filed paperwork indicating he may call the receptionist. He 90 00:06:25,715 --> 00:06:29,235 Speaker 1: may call the head of maintenance. He may call one 91 00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:34,115 Speaker 1: of Trump's personal aids. He's got everybody on this list 92 00:06:34,115 --> 00:06:37,995 Speaker 1: except the butler. He may call people who Trump did 93 00:06:37,995 --> 00:06:41,595 Speaker 1: not even realize we're still working there. CNN reports that 94 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:45,755 Speaker 1: you sealed Taveres Trump employee number four to you and me, 95 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,795 Speaker 1: the it guy they went to to try to burn 96 00:06:48,955 --> 00:06:53,835 Speaker 1: back the security video moving the boxes around. He was 97 00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:57,155 Speaker 1: still working at Mari Lago last month or no later, 98 00:06:57,235 --> 00:07:02,235 Speaker 1: certainly than September October. And if the Crown molder or 99 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:06,835 Speaker 1: the chauffeur or the receptionist is not Frank Willsey or 100 00:07:06,915 --> 00:07:10,875 Speaker 1: Alexander butterfieldish enough for UCN. It reports that Jack Smith 101 00:07:10,955 --> 00:07:18,835 Speaker 1: wanted to talk to the housekeeper Trump's housekeeper, Trump's bedroom 102 00:07:19,235 --> 00:07:25,955 Speaker 1: suite housekeeper, quoting the federal investigators diving deep into the 103 00:07:25,955 --> 00:07:30,275 Speaker 1: Mary Lago payroll, angered the former president. When the maid 104 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:35,475 Speaker 1: who cleans his bedroom sweet was asked to speak with investigators, 105 00:07:36,435 --> 00:07:43,315 Speaker 1: Trump's response was quote ballistic. Imagine the housekeeper putting Trump 106 00:07:43,355 --> 00:07:46,875 Speaker 1: behind bars. We would build a statue to her, would 107 00:07:46,915 --> 00:07:51,595 Speaker 1: we not? The hell we would. Frank Wills was the 108 00:07:51,635 --> 00:07:55,275 Speaker 1: overnight guard at the Watergate complex on a Friday night, 109 00:07:55,635 --> 00:07:58,635 Speaker 1: and he saw that somebody had taped back the automatic 110 00:07:58,755 --> 00:08:03,075 Speaker 1: lock on a stairwell door so it would not close 111 00:08:03,155 --> 00:08:06,715 Speaker 1: and lock it would only close. He removed the tape. 112 00:08:06,795 --> 00:08:09,155 Speaker 1: He continued his rounds, and half an hour later he 113 00:08:09,235 --> 00:08:12,435 Speaker 1: circled back to that same door and he found somebody 114 00:08:12,515 --> 00:08:16,675 Speaker 1: had put new tape on the lock. He called the cops. 115 00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:21,595 Speaker 1: Within the hour, police with Frank Wills found the five 116 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:25,395 Speaker 1: Watergate burglars hiding in Democratic headquarters in the Watergate complex. 117 00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:28,635 Speaker 1: What did Frank Wills get out of it a cameo 118 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,835 Speaker 1: in all the President's men, and then twenty five years 119 00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:35,195 Speaker 1: of poverty so profound that when his mother died, Frank 120 00:08:35,235 --> 00:08:38,835 Speaker 1: Wills had to donate her body to science because he 121 00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:43,915 Speaker 1: could not afford to bury her. But the page of 122 00:08:43,995 --> 00:08:47,515 Speaker 1: the security log at the Watergate Complex from June seventeenth, 123 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:51,195 Speaker 1: nineteen seventy two, on which Frank Wills noted the tape 124 00:08:51,275 --> 00:08:54,915 Speaker 1: on the stairwell door at one forty seven am, that 125 00:08:56,955 --> 00:09:04,795 Speaker 1: is in the National Archives. Back to the Dementia j 126 00:09:04,915 --> 00:09:08,235 Speaker 1: Trump's scoreboard. In addition to the genie in the can't 127 00:09:08,275 --> 00:09:12,675 Speaker 1: get over this, the Genie in the Box, here's some 128 00:09:12,715 --> 00:09:18,155 Speaker 1: more fractured fairy tales from Dementia Jay. Only in these 129 00:09:18,235 --> 00:09:22,235 Speaker 1: there's a little racism mixed in and much much more. 130 00:09:22,475 --> 00:09:26,915 Speaker 2: Kim Jong un leads one point four billion people, and 131 00:09:26,955 --> 00:09:28,315 Speaker 2: there's no doubt about who. 132 00:09:28,195 --> 00:09:28,795 Speaker 1: The boss is. 133 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,915 Speaker 2: And they want me to say he's not an intelligent man. 134 00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:35,635 Speaker 3: They get very personal when I say that, because they're 135 00:09:35,715 --> 00:09:36,515 Speaker 3: fake news. 136 00:09:36,635 --> 00:09:40,035 Speaker 1: That's why. No, Because you're an elderly idiot who's rapidly 137 00:09:40,075 --> 00:09:44,035 Speaker 1: losing what's left of your Swiss cheese mind. Kim Jong 138 00:09:44,115 --> 00:09:47,035 Speaker 1: un starves his own people to death so he can 139 00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:51,955 Speaker 1: spend money on rockets. His hair might actually be a 140 00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:55,195 Speaker 1: little worse looking than yours own. By the way, you're 141 00:09:55,235 --> 00:09:58,315 Speaker 1: off just a little on the dimensions of his population. 142 00:09:58,715 --> 00:10:03,755 Speaker 1: You got it wrong by just one billion, three hundred 143 00:10:03,755 --> 00:10:09,075 Speaker 1: and seventy four million people, because Trump can't tell Koreans 144 00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:15,475 Speaker 1: from Chinese, or one dictator from another, or just can't 145 00:10:15,475 --> 00:10:20,475 Speaker 1: tell up from down movement. In a Fourteenth Amendment suit, 146 00:10:20,515 --> 00:10:23,115 Speaker 1: this one in Michigan, where an appeals court judge with 147 00:10:23,195 --> 00:10:29,395 Speaker 1: the improbable name of James Robert Redford runs for office 148 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:33,275 Speaker 1: as nonpartisan but was appointed by a Republican governor. Judge 149 00:10:33,395 --> 00:10:36,715 Speaker 1: James Robert Redford actually managed to make the issue tougher 150 00:10:36,755 --> 00:10:40,835 Speaker 1: than it already is, as the Minnesota Supreme Court managed 151 00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:44,475 Speaker 1: to duct responsibility or a ruling or anything else by 152 00:10:44,515 --> 00:10:47,715 Speaker 1: saying the Fourteenth Amendment certainly does not prohibit somebody who 153 00:10:47,755 --> 00:10:52,075 Speaker 1: is ineligible to serve from running in a political party primary. 154 00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:56,875 Speaker 1: Judge James Robert Redford suggested that maybe what the fourteenth 155 00:10:56,875 --> 00:11:00,915 Speaker 1: Amendment also can't prohibit is somebody who is ineligible to 156 00:11:01,075 --> 00:11:06,115 Speaker 1: serve from being elected. That it can only prohibit somebody 157 00:11:06,275 --> 00:11:12,795 Speaker 1: who's been elected to office from serving in office. The 158 00:11:12,955 --> 00:11:18,315 Speaker 1: judge said, Judge James Robert Redford, that he had read 159 00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:21,355 Speaker 1: earlier drafts of the fourteenth Amendment in which the authors 160 00:11:21,355 --> 00:11:27,635 Speaker 1: made a distinction between banning running and banning serving. Give 161 00:11:27,715 --> 00:11:29,995 Speaker 1: him some credit here, the judge at least read in 162 00:11:30,195 --> 00:11:33,155 Speaker 1: a little and the attorney who brought the suit against 163 00:11:33,195 --> 00:11:36,995 Speaker 1: Trump's eligibility on behalf of free speech for people, Mark Brewer, 164 00:11:37,235 --> 00:11:40,115 Speaker 1: he gets credit for that too. The judge asked him 165 00:11:40,195 --> 00:11:42,715 Speaker 1: about this theory that you can run but you can't serve, 166 00:11:43,395 --> 00:11:47,755 Speaker 1: and Brewer replied, quote, that would require what the country 167 00:11:47,795 --> 00:11:53,675 Speaker 1: to rerun an entire presidential election. At some point this 168 00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:57,915 Speaker 1: issue dissolves and devolves utterly into the mire of how 169 00:11:57,955 --> 00:12:00,115 Speaker 1: many angels can dance on the head of a pin. 170 00:12:00,995 --> 00:12:05,195 Speaker 1: Even in eighteen sixty eight, when the Fourteenth Amendment was ratified, 171 00:12:05,515 --> 00:12:10,395 Speaker 1: the concept of rerunning an entire election for president of 172 00:12:10,435 --> 00:12:14,595 Speaker 1: the United States would have been greeted with horror by 173 00:12:14,635 --> 00:12:17,155 Speaker 1: the residents of the United States, and not just because 174 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,755 Speaker 1: of the time and the expense, which already would have 175 00:12:19,835 --> 00:12:22,275 Speaker 1: been in the millions of dollars, but because if you 176 00:12:22,355 --> 00:12:27,235 Speaker 1: could not disqualify from office and insurrectionist until after he 177 00:12:27,275 --> 00:12:32,475 Speaker 1: was elected president. You would therefore deny the country any 178 00:12:32,595 --> 00:12:36,355 Speaker 1: president until it could elect a new one to replace 179 00:12:36,395 --> 00:12:40,795 Speaker 1: the one who you just disqualified. And in eighteen sixty 180 00:12:40,795 --> 00:12:43,675 Speaker 1: eight there was still full military occupation of much of 181 00:12:43,715 --> 00:12:46,995 Speaker 1: the South, and as late as the eighteen seventy seven 182 00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:50,435 Speaker 1: crisis over the eighteen seventy six Hayes Tilden election, there 183 00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:52,995 Speaker 1: were still enough men in uniform with guns on the 184 00:12:52,995 --> 00:12:56,715 Speaker 1: streets of Washington that many Tilden supporters were calling on 185 00:12:56,835 --> 00:13:00,355 Speaker 1: him to simply call on the military to support him 186 00:13:00,755 --> 00:13:04,595 Speaker 1: and shoot Hayes as Tilden took the White House by force. 187 00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:08,875 Speaker 1: The authors of the fourteenth Amendment were not stupid enough 188 00:13:09,075 --> 00:13:12,635 Speaker 1: to create a mechanism by which you barred insurrectionists from 189 00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:16,275 Speaker 1: taking over the country only by making sure you maximize 190 00:13:16,315 --> 00:13:19,995 Speaker 1: the instability of the country and increase the chances of 191 00:13:20,035 --> 00:13:24,235 Speaker 1: a military dictatorship taking over the country. They weren't morons, 192 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:28,955 Speaker 1: and they didn't miss this little detail. They had a 193 00:13:28,995 --> 00:13:32,235 Speaker 1: tougher time of it than we have had. The fourteenth 194 00:13:32,235 --> 00:13:37,235 Speaker 1: Amendment must bar people from being on the ballot, because 195 00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:42,035 Speaker 1: otherwise our predecessors from eighteen sixty eight and their precient 196 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:50,595 Speaker 1: cure was deliberately far worse than the disease. A couple 197 00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:53,875 Speaker 1: more headlines, Jill Stein, the Russian proxy who helped put 198 00:13:53,915 --> 00:13:57,035 Speaker 1: Trump in office in twenty sixteen, says she is again 199 00:13:57,075 --> 00:14:01,035 Speaker 1: seeking the nomination for president of the Green Party. There 200 00:14:01,035 --> 00:14:03,355 Speaker 1: are many countries in which the Green Party is what 201 00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:06,835 Speaker 1: it says it is, though it is again willing to 202 00:14:06,835 --> 00:14:10,315 Speaker 1: be an accomplice to putting into the White House the 203 00:14:10,595 --> 00:14:16,155 Speaker 1: individual who, among all human beings currently occupying our dying 204 00:14:16,235 --> 00:14:19,435 Speaker 1: planet is in all probability the one who is the 205 00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:23,795 Speaker 1: likeliest to take steps to hasten up the atmospheric crisis 206 00:14:23,875 --> 00:14:29,595 Speaker 1: and kill all of us sooner rather than later. Because 207 00:14:30,275 --> 00:14:33,235 Speaker 1: they are pretending to fight the very thing they would enable. 208 00:14:33,795 --> 00:14:37,275 Speaker 1: The Greens are thus worse even than Joe Mansion, who 209 00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:40,075 Speaker 1: announced yesterday he is not seeking reelection to the Senate, 210 00:14:40,395 --> 00:14:42,795 Speaker 1: leading to immediate speculation that he really is going to 211 00:14:42,835 --> 00:14:46,435 Speaker 1: be part of this Joe Lieberman third party presidential run 212 00:14:46,475 --> 00:14:51,275 Speaker 1: to further increase Trump's chances. Even if that doesn't happen. 213 00:14:51,355 --> 00:14:53,555 Speaker 1: There are a lot of layers of this onion to 214 00:14:53,595 --> 00:14:55,675 Speaker 1: peel back in the Mansion story, and onion is an 215 00:14:55,715 --> 00:14:59,075 Speaker 1: apt description of him. The gist is this. Oh no, 216 00:14:59,075 --> 00:15:01,595 Speaker 1: Now the Democrats will have to defend all the swing 217 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:05,715 Speaker 1: seats and find another seat somewhere else to me their majority, 218 00:15:06,395 --> 00:15:08,715 Speaker 1: and the Republicans will not have to spend half the 219 00:15:08,755 --> 00:15:11,475 Speaker 1: money they were willing to to elect Jim Justice from 220 00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:14,995 Speaker 1: West Virginia. On the other hand, that also means the 221 00:15:15,035 --> 00:15:19,235 Speaker 1: Democrats don't have to spend any money defending the deplorable Mansion, 222 00:15:19,675 --> 00:15:22,315 Speaker 1: and they can spend that money in other states that 223 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:27,955 Speaker 1: could actually elect an actual Democrat. Gut laughs on Capitol 224 00:15:28,035 --> 00:15:31,315 Speaker 1: Hill when The Daily Beast reported about that two hundred 225 00:15:31,355 --> 00:15:34,795 Speaker 1: thousand dollars loan and the repayment from one brother to another, 226 00:15:34,915 --> 00:15:39,155 Speaker 1: only it wasn't Joe Biden and James Biden's two hundred 227 00:15:39,195 --> 00:15:43,035 Speaker 1: thousand dollars loan in repayment. It's James Comer and his brother, 228 00:15:43,435 --> 00:15:47,555 Speaker 1: who did exactly the same thing, only more often and 229 00:15:47,595 --> 00:15:52,155 Speaker 1: with recorded land swaps included exactly the thing Comber had 230 00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:55,195 Speaker 1: described last month with this quote. Even if this was 231 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:59,675 Speaker 1: a personal loan repayment, it's still troubling that his ability 232 00:15:59,715 --> 00:16:02,155 Speaker 1: to be paid back by his brother depended on the 233 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:10,035 Speaker 1: success of his family's shady financial dealings. Unquote Jamie Comer 234 00:16:10,075 --> 00:16:12,995 Speaker 1: has not quite become a complete political laughing stock, but 235 00:16:13,035 --> 00:16:17,475 Speaker 1: he's clearly at or near that tipping point. Wednesday, Comber 236 00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:20,595 Speaker 1: tweeted a video of himself being handed a series of 237 00:16:20,635 --> 00:16:24,075 Speaker 1: papers which he signed, and he seemed to have trouble 238 00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:27,875 Speaker 1: signing his own name. Incidentally, he put on them the 239 00:16:27,915 --> 00:16:32,835 Speaker 1: caption Today, Representative James Comer signed subpoenas for Hunter Biden 240 00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:39,395 Speaker 1: James Biden, Rob Walker. Yesterday after the Daily Beast report, 241 00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:43,795 Speaker 1: Congressman Jared Moskowitz matched the video virtually shot for shot, 242 00:16:44,115 --> 00:16:48,195 Speaker 1: although with a smoother and easier signature, with the caption Today, 243 00:16:48,395 --> 00:16:53,875 Speaker 1: Representative Moscowitz signed quote subpoenas unquote for James Comer. It 244 00:16:53,915 --> 00:16:56,355 Speaker 1: has been reported that Comer also loaned his brother two 245 00:16:56,395 --> 00:17:00,915 Speaker 1: hundred K. We fully expect James to comply, just like 246 00:17:01,035 --> 00:17:07,155 Speaker 1: the Trumps quote us, and yet we must leave the 247 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,595 Speaker 1: burn of the day to the President of the United 248 00:17:10,635 --> 00:17:14,555 Speaker 1: States talking to the UAW in Illinois after it won 249 00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:18,595 Speaker 1: the auto strike again. My advice is you are running 250 00:17:18,715 --> 00:17:22,475 Speaker 1: on your record, sir. The part of your record for 251 00:17:22,515 --> 00:17:28,075 Speaker 1: which we will build you a statue someday is beating Trump. 252 00:17:29,235 --> 00:17:31,955 Speaker 1: My part in this is insisting that you run on 253 00:17:32,315 --> 00:17:35,955 Speaker 1: that your part of this. You do the hard part, 254 00:17:36,315 --> 00:17:40,395 Speaker 1: you do all the rest. You do it well when 255 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:43,395 Speaker 1: you let yourself like you did yesterday. 256 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:46,275 Speaker 3: And that means good paying jobs for American auto workers. 257 00:17:46,715 --> 00:17:47,195 Speaker 1: That awesome. 258 00:17:47,195 --> 00:17:50,515 Speaker 3: I means, let's think about this, when my predecessor the 259 00:17:50,635 --> 00:18:06,515 Speaker 3: distinguished anyway, when my predecessor was in office six factories. 260 00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:15,075 Speaker 1: Woof also of interest here. Good news everyone, Republicans in 261 00:18:15,115 --> 00:18:18,395 Speaker 1: Congress are whacking each other like they were all Nicky 262 00:18:18,435 --> 00:18:22,995 Speaker 1: Haley and v Bake Ramaswami. Better news, there will be 263 00:18:23,075 --> 00:18:26,515 Speaker 1: another debate next month with Nicki Haley and v Bake Ramaswami, 264 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:30,875 Speaker 1: and just in case it gets professional or substantial, they 265 00:18:30,915 --> 00:18:36,835 Speaker 1: have picked as one of the moderators Megan Kelly. That's next. 266 00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:42,115 Speaker 1: This is countdown real, This. 267 00:18:42,315 --> 00:18:58,955 Speaker 2: Is countdown with Keith Olberman. This is Sports Center. Wait, 268 00:18:59,115 --> 00:19:06,675 Speaker 2: check that not anymore. This is countdown with Keith Ulberman 269 00:19:06,915 --> 00:19:08,875 Speaker 2: in sport Wait. 270 00:19:09,595 --> 00:19:17,435 Speaker 1: Why does that guy's voice sound so familiar in sports? 271 00:19:18,155 --> 00:19:21,395 Speaker 1: Jason Bennetti, one of the top play by play men 272 00:19:21,475 --> 00:19:24,035 Speaker 1: in sports, has left the Chicago White Sox after eight 273 00:19:24,115 --> 00:19:27,515 Speaker 1: years there to become the primary voice of the Detroit Tigers. 274 00:19:27,955 --> 00:19:31,115 Speaker 1: This is a way bigger move than Milwaukee manager Craig 275 00:19:31,235 --> 00:19:34,395 Speaker 1: Council leaving to become manager of the Chicago Cubs. This 276 00:19:34,515 --> 00:19:37,555 Speaker 1: is a future Hall of Famer free agent signing, and 277 00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:39,915 Speaker 1: it's kind of amazing that some of the larger markets 278 00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:43,475 Speaker 1: that could upgrade on their announcers missed out on him. 279 00:19:44,195 --> 00:19:47,195 Speaker 1: After fifty eight years as a sports fan, my criterion 280 00:19:47,315 --> 00:19:50,595 Speaker 1: now for watching games is pretty much who's the announcer? 281 00:19:51,595 --> 00:19:54,635 Speaker 1: Benetti makes Detroit a contender? And as to the White Sox, 282 00:19:54,635 --> 00:19:57,795 Speaker 1: who perennially make the Mets look like a well oiled 283 00:19:57,915 --> 00:20:02,155 Speaker 1: business machine. After letting their homegrown guy who lent them 284 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:05,315 Speaker 1: virtually all the credibility they've had for nearly a decade, 285 00:20:05,515 --> 00:20:08,875 Speaker 1: Chicago owner Jerry Reinstorf can now just hand back the 286 00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:11,715 Speaker 1: franchise to the American League and go out of business 287 00:20:11,875 --> 00:20:16,275 Speaker 1: and nobody will know they are gone. Wait, didn't there 288 00:20:16,395 --> 00:20:19,715 Speaker 1: used to be an American League team in Chicago once? 289 00:20:20,195 --> 00:20:27,035 Speaker 1: Did Bill Veck own it? Dateline Milwaukee? Actually, there are 290 00:20:27,075 --> 00:20:30,635 Speaker 1: more indications that Major League Baseball teams across the nation 291 00:20:30,835 --> 00:20:35,875 Speaker 1: are desperately trying to shed expenses wherever they can. Those Brewers, 292 00:20:35,955 --> 00:20:39,355 Speaker 1: per Ken Rosenthal and the Athletic are listening to trade 293 00:20:39,395 --> 00:20:42,675 Speaker 1: offers on all of their better players on the premise 294 00:20:42,715 --> 00:20:45,555 Speaker 1: that they're not gonna have Let's see what excuse can 295 00:20:45,595 --> 00:20:48,395 Speaker 1: we come up with enough pitching to compete in the 296 00:20:48,435 --> 00:20:52,915 Speaker 1: immediate future, and they will go through several seasons of remodeling. 297 00:20:53,515 --> 00:20:56,235 Speaker 1: We already know that after they lost their TV revenue 298 00:20:56,235 --> 00:20:58,675 Speaker 1: and had to borrow fifty million dollars in September to 299 00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:03,035 Speaker 1: meet payroll. Virtually any San Diego Padre can be yours, 300 00:21:03,835 --> 00:21:06,035 Speaker 1: though they ain't gonna be able to move Juan Soto 301 00:21:06,115 --> 00:21:09,395 Speaker 1: at about twenty seven million a year, or Xander Bogarts 302 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:13,875 Speaker 1: at twenty five, or Joe Musgrove at twenty Manny Machado 303 00:21:13,955 --> 00:21:23,275 Speaker 1: at seventeen million. Somebody may do that and dateline Scottsdale, Arizona, Hello. 304 00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:27,275 Speaker 1: And yet any team trying to stay above water financially 305 00:21:27,355 --> 00:21:29,115 Speaker 1: is going to have to wait a little while, because, 306 00:21:29,115 --> 00:21:31,315 Speaker 1: if you like a nice metaphor for what's going on 307 00:21:31,395 --> 00:21:34,235 Speaker 1: in baseball at the moment, the start of the offseason, 308 00:21:34,235 --> 00:21:38,675 Speaker 1: the Baseball General Manager's meetings in Arizona have been canceled 309 00:21:39,235 --> 00:21:42,315 Speaker 1: after at least ten percent of the three hundred executives 310 00:21:42,315 --> 00:21:46,035 Speaker 1: present got sick. They thought at first it was some 311 00:21:46,195 --> 00:21:49,915 Speaker 1: kind of food born illness, but it quickly became obvious 312 00:21:49,915 --> 00:21:53,755 Speaker 1: that it was actually a fast moving virus. Don't want 313 00:21:53,755 --> 00:21:56,795 Speaker 1: to go into too much detail about what the symptoms were, 314 00:21:57,355 --> 00:22:00,995 Speaker 1: but reporter Stephanie Epstein of Sports Illustrated summed it up. 315 00:22:01,555 --> 00:22:08,155 Speaker 1: The GM meetings have become the GI meetings. Talk about 316 00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:34,555 Speaker 1: infectious enthusiasm. Still ahead of us on countdown Fridays with Thurber, 317 00:22:34,555 --> 00:22:37,755 Speaker 1: and we've not done fables in a while, So a 318 00:22:37,835 --> 00:22:42,915 Speaker 1: roundup of Thurber's shortest stories, including the Pitch Perfect, the 319 00:22:43,155 --> 00:22:47,475 Speaker 1: Unicorn in the Garden. Next first time for the daily 320 00:22:47,515 --> 00:22:49,835 Speaker 1: roundup of the miss Grants, morons and Dunning Kruger Effect 321 00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:54,715 Speaker 1: specimens who constitute today's worse persons in the world worse 322 00:22:54,995 --> 00:22:58,995 Speaker 1: good old Congresswoman Nancy Mace. There is a problem with 323 00:22:59,115 --> 00:23:02,955 Speaker 1: transforming your political party into a cletch fest against the 324 00:23:02,995 --> 00:23:07,275 Speaker 1: other side or the enemy or whoever, where there are 325 00:23:07,275 --> 00:23:10,715 Speaker 1: only complaints and vengeance and retribution and you don't actually 326 00:23:10,835 --> 00:23:13,995 Speaker 1: do anything else. The problem with that is eventually you 327 00:23:14,075 --> 00:23:16,955 Speaker 1: run out of them to attack, and you have to 328 00:23:16,955 --> 00:23:21,635 Speaker 1: start attacking each other. That became obvious when eight Republicans 329 00:23:21,675 --> 00:23:24,435 Speaker 1: were able to grot Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, 330 00:23:24,835 --> 00:23:28,635 Speaker 1: but they're still working through that one. McCarthy now says 331 00:23:28,715 --> 00:23:31,635 Speaker 1: that the party will not move on from that cataclysm 332 00:23:31,795 --> 00:23:35,715 Speaker 1: until there are consequences for the aid who voted him out. 333 00:23:36,075 --> 00:23:39,515 Speaker 1: McCarthy said of Nancy Mace, the rather loopy South Carolina 334 00:23:39,555 --> 00:23:42,955 Speaker 1: congresswoman who opened up her remarks at a prayer breakfast 335 00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:46,915 Speaker 1: in July by boasting that she had deferred morning sex 336 00:23:47,515 --> 00:23:50,115 Speaker 1: so she could get to visit with the congregation on time. 337 00:23:51,115 --> 00:23:53,515 Speaker 1: McCarthy said of her, quote, if you've watched her, just 338 00:23:53,555 --> 00:23:56,835 Speaker 1: her philosophy and the flip flopping, I don't believe she 339 00:23:56,915 --> 00:24:02,755 Speaker 1: wins reelection. You can watch your flip flopping. Mace responded 340 00:24:02,755 --> 00:24:06,635 Speaker 1: that McCarthy quote lied all all the time. This is 341 00:24:06,715 --> 00:24:09,795 Speaker 1: all so discouraging. You know, it probably makes Nancy Mace 342 00:24:09,875 --> 00:24:11,595 Speaker 1: not want to bother to get out of bed in 343 00:24:11,595 --> 00:24:17,315 Speaker 1: the morning. Worser another Congresswoman, Claudia Tenney of upstate New York. 344 00:24:17,995 --> 00:24:21,555 Speaker 1: As House Republicans kareem towards another government shutdown under their 345 00:24:21,595 --> 00:24:25,395 Speaker 1: fifth string speaker, Miss Tenny decided this was the time 346 00:24:25,435 --> 00:24:28,475 Speaker 1: for her to introduce an amendment to the White House 347 00:24:28,515 --> 00:24:33,395 Speaker 1: Spending Budget Bill to reduce the salary of the presidential 348 00:24:33,435 --> 00:24:36,995 Speaker 1: Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre to one dollar a year. 349 00:24:38,315 --> 00:24:40,195 Speaker 1: This is because one of them found out that you 350 00:24:40,235 --> 00:24:41,755 Speaker 1: could do that, or at least you could do that 351 00:24:41,795 --> 00:24:44,035 Speaker 1: in the nineteenth century. Now they're all trying it because 352 00:24:44,035 --> 00:24:48,035 Speaker 1: it makes a nice campaign. Ad Tenny is the paranoid 353 00:24:48,075 --> 00:24:52,115 Speaker 1: idiot who blamed Ben Carson's thirty one thousand dollars office 354 00:24:52,235 --> 00:24:56,155 Speaker 1: coffee table on quote the deep state because she knew 355 00:24:56,195 --> 00:24:59,155 Speaker 1: he couldn't have ordered it spoiler alert, he ordered it. 356 00:24:59,755 --> 00:25:02,475 Speaker 1: And she's the same idiot who after the Parkland school 357 00:25:02,475 --> 00:25:05,235 Speaker 1: shooting said, quote, so many of these people that commit 358 00:25:05,275 --> 00:25:08,315 Speaker 1: the mass murders end up being Democrat. And she's the 359 00:25:08,395 --> 00:25:11,035 Speaker 1: idiot who pushed the lie about why Paul Pelosi was 360 00:25:11,075 --> 00:25:15,595 Speaker 1: attacked during the attempted kidnapping of Nancy Pelosi. So here's 361 00:25:15,635 --> 00:25:18,955 Speaker 1: an amendment some Democratic rep should introduce that the twenty 362 00:25:19,035 --> 00:25:22,515 Speaker 1: fourth congressional district of New York should not have a 363 00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:26,755 Speaker 1: representative in the House because it'll save money. The twenty 364 00:25:26,755 --> 00:25:30,915 Speaker 1: fourth Congressional district doesn't really have one, now, does it. 365 00:25:30,915 --> 00:25:35,555 Speaker 1: It just has Claudia Tenny. And then there is the 366 00:25:35,635 --> 00:25:40,395 Speaker 1: worst the news nation television channel, which continues to pretend 367 00:25:40,435 --> 00:25:43,035 Speaker 1: it is a politically neutral operation when in fact it 368 00:25:43,115 --> 00:25:46,035 Speaker 1: is home to the same dribble that runs on Fox 369 00:25:46,115 --> 00:25:48,955 Speaker 1: and Newsmax and all the others, only it looks different 370 00:25:48,995 --> 00:25:52,315 Speaker 1: because it's the Nick at Night of television news. It 371 00:25:52,315 --> 00:25:56,555 Speaker 1: has hired everybody fired by somebody else but who has 372 00:25:56,595 --> 00:26:01,075 Speaker 1: too little self respect to get a real job outside television, 373 00:26:01,315 --> 00:26:07,915 Speaker 1: Chris Cuomo, Dan Abrams, Elizabeth Vargas and now Megan Kelly. 374 00:26:08,675 --> 00:26:12,915 Speaker 1: But the notoriously cranky Xbox and NBC failure is only 375 00:26:12,955 --> 00:26:15,475 Speaker 1: going to be a tempt. News Nation announced it will 376 00:26:15,515 --> 00:26:19,315 Speaker 1: carry the fourth Republican Debate next month from Alabama, and 377 00:26:19,395 --> 00:26:25,075 Speaker 1: it will be moderated by Vargas, Eleanna Johnson and Meghan Kelly, 378 00:26:26,155 --> 00:26:30,515 Speaker 1: just in for the day freelance moderator. By the way 379 00:26:30,555 --> 00:26:33,515 Speaker 1: I understand, there will be live wagering aspects to the 380 00:26:33,555 --> 00:26:37,075 Speaker 1: fourth GOP Debate. You can bet in real time on 381 00:26:37,115 --> 00:26:40,755 Speaker 1: which of them finally loses it and snaps and punches 382 00:26:40,835 --> 00:26:45,835 Speaker 1: Vivek Ramaswami in the face. Early favorites are DeSantis and ironically, 383 00:26:45,915 --> 00:26:49,995 Speaker 1: Megan Kelly. There may be a fifth Republican Debate in January, 384 00:26:49,995 --> 00:26:52,475 Speaker 1: and rather than televise it, since they've already gone down 385 00:26:52,555 --> 00:26:55,755 Speaker 1: through News Nation already, They're just going to encourage the 386 00:26:55,755 --> 00:26:59,435 Speaker 1: candidates to talk really loudly and ask would be viewers 387 00:26:59,475 --> 00:27:02,275 Speaker 1: to open their windows and listen to the debate that way. 388 00:27:03,795 --> 00:27:06,795 Speaker 1: I may have made some of this story up, but 389 00:27:06,915 --> 00:27:10,595 Speaker 1: it's Republicans and NewsNation, So how can you tell News Nation? 390 00:27:11,115 --> 00:27:16,035 Speaker 1: What could be worse than hiring Megan Kelly for a day? Duh? 391 00:27:16,235 --> 00:27:21,555 Speaker 1: Hiring her for two days? Two days worse worth in 392 00:27:21,795 --> 00:27:35,355 Speaker 1: the world. Now to the number one story in the countdown, 393 00:27:35,355 --> 00:27:38,555 Speaker 1: and since it's the weekend, it's Fridays with Thurber. You 394 00:27:38,595 --> 00:27:41,515 Speaker 1: don't see a lot of new fables anymore. These days. 395 00:27:41,755 --> 00:27:44,355 Speaker 1: People aren't writing as many fables as they used to. 396 00:27:44,435 --> 00:27:47,355 Speaker 1: There was ASoP around five to eighty BC, and then 397 00:27:47,515 --> 00:27:51,395 Speaker 1: James Thurber around nineteen thirty nine, and that's pretty much it. 398 00:27:51,475 --> 00:27:55,075 Speaker 1: Fables require animals to stand in for people. They need 399 00:27:55,115 --> 00:27:58,315 Speaker 1: to be short, they need to be precise, They need 400 00:27:58,355 --> 00:28:00,595 Speaker 1: to end with a moral. They should be, if not 401 00:28:00,675 --> 00:28:03,515 Speaker 1: laugh out loud funny, at least wry and thought provoking. 402 00:28:04,675 --> 00:28:06,475 Speaker 1: Two years ago, it was my privilege to write the 403 00:28:06,515 --> 00:28:11,435 Speaker 1: foreword to Michael J. Rosen's new volume James Thurber Collected Fables, 404 00:28:11,635 --> 00:28:14,475 Speaker 1: which includes many of the fables that had not previously 405 00:28:14,515 --> 00:28:18,355 Speaker 1: been published in a book. Despite my foreword, I suspect 406 00:28:18,435 --> 00:28:22,475 Speaker 1: you will enjoy that book anyway. Thurber published most of 407 00:28:22,515 --> 00:28:25,355 Speaker 1: his fables and most of everything else in the New 408 00:28:25,435 --> 00:28:28,235 Speaker 1: Yorker magazine. He collected twenty eight of them in his 409 00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:32,115 Speaker 1: nineteen forty volume, Fables for Our Time and Famous Poems Illustrated. 410 00:28:33,195 --> 00:28:35,675 Speaker 1: His further Fables for Our Time came out in nineteen 411 00:28:35,715 --> 00:28:38,795 Speaker 1: fifty six and is heavily influenced by the era of McCarthyism. 412 00:28:39,515 --> 00:28:43,315 Speaker 1: Many of the fables are classics, some are sleepers, all 413 00:28:43,435 --> 00:28:45,835 Speaker 1: are great. Let me give you three of them to 414 00:28:45,915 --> 00:28:50,155 Speaker 1: carry you through the weekend, starting with maybe maybe the best, 415 00:28:51,275 --> 00:28:56,915 Speaker 1: little misogynistic, but damned fun and certainly the best of 416 00:28:56,915 --> 00:29:00,235 Speaker 1: them in terms of being known to the public. The 417 00:29:00,395 --> 00:29:07,315 Speaker 1: Unicorn in the Garden by James Thurber. Once upon a 418 00:29:07,395 --> 00:29:10,635 Speaker 1: sunny morning, a man who sat in a breakfast nook 419 00:29:11,075 --> 00:29:14,675 Speaker 1: looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white 420 00:29:15,035 --> 00:29:19,995 Speaker 1: unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in 421 00:29:20,035 --> 00:29:22,915 Speaker 1: the garden. The man went up to the bedroom, where 422 00:29:22,915 --> 00:29:25,955 Speaker 1: his wife was still asleep and woke her. There's a 423 00:29:26,075 --> 00:29:30,555 Speaker 1: unicorn in the garden, he said, eating roses. She opened 424 00:29:30,595 --> 00:29:34,395 Speaker 1: one unfriendly eye and looked at him. The unicorn is 425 00:29:34,435 --> 00:29:37,715 Speaker 1: a mythical beast, she said, and turned her back on him. 426 00:29:38,555 --> 00:29:42,595 Speaker 1: The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. 427 00:29:43,235 --> 00:29:46,955 Speaker 1: The unicorn was still there. He was now browsing among 428 00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:51,515 Speaker 1: the tulips. Here, unicorn, said the man, and he pulled 429 00:29:51,595 --> 00:29:54,955 Speaker 1: up a lily and gave it to him. The unicorn 430 00:29:55,435 --> 00:30:00,875 Speaker 1: ate it gravely with a high heart. Because there was 431 00:30:00,915 --> 00:30:03,995 Speaker 1: a unicorn in his garden, the man went upstairs and 432 00:30:04,115 --> 00:30:08,515 Speaker 1: roused his wife again. The unicorn, he said, ay to lily. 433 00:30:09,795 --> 00:30:12,275 Speaker 1: His wife sat up in bed and looked at him coldly. 434 00:30:13,235 --> 00:30:16,435 Speaker 1: You are a booby, she said, and I'm going to 435 00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:20,155 Speaker 1: have you put in the booby hatch. The man, who 436 00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:23,595 Speaker 1: had never liked the words booby and booby hatch, and 437 00:30:23,635 --> 00:30:26,315 Speaker 1: who liked them even less on a shining morning when 438 00:30:26,355 --> 00:30:30,115 Speaker 1: there was a unicorn in the garden, thought for a moment, 439 00:30:31,155 --> 00:30:34,675 Speaker 1: we'll see about that, he said. He walked over to 440 00:30:34,715 --> 00:30:38,555 Speaker 1: the door. He has a golden horn in the middle 441 00:30:38,555 --> 00:30:42,115 Speaker 1: of his forehead, he told her. Then he went back 442 00:30:42,155 --> 00:30:44,235 Speaker 1: to the garden to watch the unicorn, but the unicorn 443 00:30:44,275 --> 00:30:47,515 Speaker 1: had gone away. The man sat down among the roses 444 00:30:47,515 --> 00:30:51,755 Speaker 1: and went to sleep. As soon as the husband had 445 00:30:51,795 --> 00:30:53,435 Speaker 1: gone out of the house, the wife got up and 446 00:30:53,515 --> 00:30:55,995 Speaker 1: dressed as fast as she could. She was very excited, 447 00:30:56,035 --> 00:30:58,435 Speaker 1: and there was a gloat in her eye. She telephoned 448 00:30:58,435 --> 00:31:00,875 Speaker 1: the police, and she telephoned a psychiatrist. She told them 449 00:31:00,915 --> 00:31:02,875 Speaker 1: to hurry to her house and bring a strape jacket. 450 00:31:03,155 --> 00:31:05,995 Speaker 1: When the police in the psychiatryrived, they sat down in 451 00:31:06,075 --> 00:31:09,395 Speaker 1: chairs and looked at her with great interest. My husband, 452 00:31:09,875 --> 00:31:14,275 Speaker 1: she said, saw unicorn this morning. The police looked at 453 00:31:14,275 --> 00:31:17,675 Speaker 1: the psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist looked at the police. He 454 00:31:17,875 --> 00:31:22,115 Speaker 1: told me it ate a lelli, she said. The psychiatrist 455 00:31:22,195 --> 00:31:24,955 Speaker 1: looked at the police, and the police looked at the psychiatrist. 456 00:31:25,435 --> 00:31:27,715 Speaker 1: He told me it had a golden horn in the 457 00:31:27,755 --> 00:31:32,275 Speaker 1: middle of its forehead. She said, had a solemn signal 458 00:31:32,275 --> 00:31:35,275 Speaker 1: from the psychiatrist. The police leaped from their chairs and 459 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:39,715 Speaker 1: seized the wife. They had a hard time subduing her, 460 00:31:39,755 --> 00:31:42,435 Speaker 1: for she put up a terrific struggle, but they finally 461 00:31:42,475 --> 00:31:45,635 Speaker 1: subdued her just as they got her into the straight jacket. 462 00:31:45,675 --> 00:31:50,115 Speaker 1: The husband came back into the house. Did you tell 463 00:31:50,155 --> 00:31:54,515 Speaker 1: your wife you saw unicorn? Asked the police. Of course not, 464 00:31:54,675 --> 00:31:58,955 Speaker 1: said the husband. The unicorn is a mythical beast. That's 465 00:31:58,995 --> 00:32:02,555 Speaker 1: all I wanted to know, said the psychiatrist. Take her away. 466 00:32:03,035 --> 00:32:06,515 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. So life is as crazy as a jaybud. 467 00:32:07,435 --> 00:32:09,795 Speaker 1: So they took her away, cursing and screaming, and shut 468 00:32:09,795 --> 00:32:13,235 Speaker 1: her up in an institution. The husband lived happily ever after. 469 00:32:13,835 --> 00:32:20,835 Speaker 1: Moral don't count your boobies until they are hatched. The 470 00:32:20,955 --> 00:32:26,155 Speaker 1: unicorn in the garden by James Thurber, I promised three. 471 00:32:26,195 --> 00:32:31,555 Speaker 1: Here's the second one. It's a little less joyful and silly. 472 00:32:32,315 --> 00:32:36,515 Speaker 1: The rabbits who caused all the trouble by James Thurber. 473 00:32:37,995 --> 00:32:40,755 Speaker 1: Within the memory of the youngest child, there was a 474 00:32:40,755 --> 00:32:45,355 Speaker 1: family of rabbits who lived near pack of wolves. The 475 00:32:45,475 --> 00:32:48,195 Speaker 1: wolves announced that they did not like the way the 476 00:32:48,275 --> 00:32:52,315 Speaker 1: rabbits were living. The wolves were crazy about the way 477 00:32:52,315 --> 00:32:54,355 Speaker 1: they themselves were living because it was the only way 478 00:32:54,395 --> 00:32:58,675 Speaker 1: to live. One night, several wolves were killed in an earthquake, 479 00:32:58,715 --> 00:33:00,595 Speaker 1: and this was blamed on the rabbits. For it is 480 00:33:00,755 --> 00:33:04,555 Speaker 1: well known that rabbits pound on the ground with the 481 00:33:04,715 --> 00:33:08,995 Speaker 1: behind legs and cause earthquakes. On another night, one of 482 00:33:09,035 --> 00:33:11,555 Speaker 1: the wolves was killed by a bolt of lightning, and 483 00:33:11,555 --> 00:33:14,075 Speaker 1: this was also blamed on the rabbits, for it is 484 00:33:14,555 --> 00:33:20,795 Speaker 1: well known that lettuce eaters cause lightning. The wolves threatened 485 00:33:20,835 --> 00:33:22,955 Speaker 1: to civilize the rabbits if they didn't behave, and the 486 00:33:23,035 --> 00:33:25,475 Speaker 1: rabbits decided to run away to a desert island. But 487 00:33:25,555 --> 00:33:31,195 Speaker 1: the other animals, who lived at a great distance shamed them, saying, 488 00:33:32,075 --> 00:33:34,515 Speaker 1: you must stay where you are and be brave. This 489 00:33:34,715 --> 00:33:38,515 Speaker 1: is no world for escapists. If the wolves attack you, 490 00:33:38,755 --> 00:33:43,075 Speaker 1: we will come to your aid in all probability. So 491 00:33:43,915 --> 00:33:46,595 Speaker 1: the rabbits continued to live near the wolves, and one 492 00:33:46,675 --> 00:33:48,795 Speaker 1: day there was a terrible flood which drowned a great 493 00:33:48,835 --> 00:33:52,595 Speaker 1: many wolves. This was blamed on the rabbits, for it 494 00:33:52,675 --> 00:33:56,355 Speaker 1: is well known that carrot nibblers with long ears caused floods. 495 00:33:57,315 --> 00:34:00,915 Speaker 1: The wolves descended upon the rabbits for their own good 496 00:34:01,315 --> 00:34:04,315 Speaker 1: and imprisoned them in a dark cave for their own protection. 497 00:34:05,795 --> 00:34:08,435 Speaker 1: When nothing was heard about the rabbits for some weeks, 498 00:34:08,475 --> 00:34:11,115 Speaker 1: the other animals demanded to know what had happened to them. 499 00:34:11,755 --> 00:34:15,235 Speaker 1: The wolves replied that the rabbits had been eaten and 500 00:34:15,315 --> 00:34:17,635 Speaker 1: since they had been eaten. The affair was a purely 501 00:34:17,795 --> 00:34:21,555 Speaker 1: internal matter, but the other animals warned that they might 502 00:34:21,595 --> 00:34:24,995 Speaker 1: possibly unite against the wolves unless some reason was given 503 00:34:24,995 --> 00:34:27,955 Speaker 1: for the destruction of the rabbits. So the wolves gave 504 00:34:27,955 --> 00:34:31,995 Speaker 1: them one. They were trying to escape, said the wolves. 505 00:34:32,395 --> 00:34:36,595 Speaker 1: And as you know, this is no world for escapists. 506 00:34:38,275 --> 00:34:46,475 Speaker 1: Moral run, don't walk to the nearest desert island. The 507 00:34:46,555 --> 00:34:50,755 Speaker 1: rabbits who caused all the trouble by James Thurber and 508 00:34:50,835 --> 00:34:53,275 Speaker 1: one last one. And I have mentioned this before in 509 00:34:53,315 --> 00:34:55,955 Speaker 1: other settings, but I'll mention it again. I have a 510 00:34:55,995 --> 00:34:59,235 Speaker 1: tattoo that pertains to this particular one, and I have 511 00:34:59,275 --> 00:35:02,635 Speaker 1: an ex girlfriend running around who has the moral to 512 00:35:02,675 --> 00:35:07,235 Speaker 1: this one on her shoulders. I wonder how she, ever, 513 00:35:07,315 --> 00:35:13,115 Speaker 1: explained that. The Moth and the Star by James Thurber, 514 00:35:15,315 --> 00:35:19,395 Speaker 1: A young and impressionable moth once set his heart on 515 00:35:19,435 --> 00:35:22,835 Speaker 1: a certain star. He told his mother about this, and 516 00:35:22,915 --> 00:35:25,395 Speaker 1: she counseled him to set his heart on a bridge 517 00:35:25,475 --> 00:35:29,515 Speaker 1: lamp instead. Stars aren't the thing to hang around, she said, 518 00:35:30,395 --> 00:35:33,755 Speaker 1: lamp saying the thing to hang around. You get somewhere 519 00:35:33,835 --> 00:35:36,955 Speaker 1: that way, said the moth's father. You don't get anywhere 520 00:35:37,075 --> 00:35:41,355 Speaker 1: chasing stars but the moth would not heed the words 521 00:35:41,355 --> 00:35:44,315 Speaker 1: of either parent. Every evening, at dusk, when the star 522 00:35:44,435 --> 00:35:47,435 Speaker 1: came out, he would start flying toward it, and every 523 00:35:47,475 --> 00:35:50,115 Speaker 1: morning at dawn he would crawl back home, worn out 524 00:35:50,195 --> 00:35:53,835 Speaker 1: with his vain endeavor. One day his father said to him, 525 00:35:54,115 --> 00:35:56,715 Speaker 1: you haven't burned a wing in month's boy, and it 526 00:35:56,755 --> 00:35:59,315 Speaker 1: looks to me as if you're never going to All 527 00:35:59,355 --> 00:36:02,755 Speaker 1: your brothers have been badly burned flying around street lamps, 528 00:36:03,275 --> 00:36:06,995 Speaker 1: all your sisters have been terribly singed flying around house lamps. 529 00:36:07,235 --> 00:36:09,675 Speaker 1: Come on, man, get out of here and get yourself scorched. 530 00:36:09,875 --> 00:36:13,955 Speaker 1: Big stropping mouth like you without a muck on him. 531 00:36:14,035 --> 00:36:16,275 Speaker 1: The moth left his father's house, but he would not 532 00:36:16,395 --> 00:36:18,595 Speaker 1: fly around street lamps, and he would not fly around 533 00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:20,915 Speaker 1: house lamps. He went right on trying to reach the star, 534 00:36:21,755 --> 00:36:26,075 Speaker 1: which was four and one third light years or twenty 535 00:36:26,115 --> 00:36:31,195 Speaker 1: five trillion miles away. The moth thought it was just 536 00:36:31,395 --> 00:36:33,555 Speaker 1: caught in the top of the branches of an elm 537 00:36:33,595 --> 00:36:36,995 Speaker 1: over there he never did reach the star, but he 538 00:36:37,035 --> 00:36:38,915 Speaker 1: went right on trying night after night. When he was 539 00:36:38,955 --> 00:36:42,995 Speaker 1: a very very old moth, he began to think that 540 00:36:43,075 --> 00:36:46,955 Speaker 1: he really had reached the star, and he went around, 541 00:36:46,995 --> 00:36:51,955 Speaker 1: saying so this gave him a deep and lasting pleasure, 542 00:36:52,275 --> 00:36:56,635 Speaker 1: and he lived to a great old age. His parents, 543 00:36:56,675 --> 00:36:59,115 Speaker 1: and his brothers and his sisters had all been burned 544 00:36:59,155 --> 00:37:03,875 Speaker 1: to death when they were quite young. Marl who flies 545 00:37:03,915 --> 00:37:07,475 Speaker 1: afar from this The sphere of our sorrow is here 546 00:37:07,555 --> 00:37:14,915 Speaker 1: today and here tomorrow. The Moth and the Star by 547 00:37:15,035 --> 00:37:30,475 Speaker 1: James Thurber. I've done all the damage I can do here. 548 00:37:30,555 --> 00:37:32,435 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. Countdown has come to you from 549 00:37:32,475 --> 00:37:35,955 Speaker 1: the Vin Scully Studios at the Olderman Broadcasting Empire in 550 00:37:35,955 --> 00:37:39,755 Speaker 1: New York. Countdown musical directors Brian Ray and John Phillip 551 00:37:39,795 --> 00:37:43,075 Speaker 1: Shanelle arranged, produced, and performed most of our music. Mister 552 00:37:43,195 --> 00:37:46,555 Speaker 1: Chanelle handled the orchestration and keyboards. Mister Ray was on 553 00:37:46,635 --> 00:37:48,875 Speaker 1: the guitars, bass and drums, and it was produced by 554 00:37:48,915 --> 00:37:53,475 Speaker 1: Tko Brothers. Other music, including other Beethoven tunes, arranged and 555 00:37:53,515 --> 00:37:57,155 Speaker 1: performed by No Horns Allowed. The sports music is courtesy 556 00:37:57,155 --> 00:38:00,155 Speaker 1: of ESPN, Inc. It was written by Mitch Warren Davis 557 00:38:00,155 --> 00:38:03,195 Speaker 1: and we call it the Olberman theme from ESPN two. 558 00:38:03,395 --> 00:38:07,275 Speaker 1: Our satirical and pith The musical comments are by Nancy Fauss, 559 00:38:07,315 --> 00:38:10,995 Speaker 1: the best baseball stadium organist, ever, our announcer today was 560 00:38:10,995 --> 00:38:14,395 Speaker 1: my friend Richard Lewis. Everything else was pretty much my fault. 561 00:38:14,875 --> 00:38:19,795 Speaker 1: And congratulations to Jason Bennetti getting out of the White Sox. 562 00:38:20,795 --> 00:38:22,955 Speaker 1: What a mess. That's countdown for This the one thousand 563 00:38:22,995 --> 00:38:26,355 Speaker 1: and thirty ninth day since dementia j Trump's first attempted 564 00:38:26,395 --> 00:38:29,675 Speaker 1: coup against the democratically elected government of the United States. 565 00:38:30,075 --> 00:38:34,275 Speaker 1: Convict him now while we still can. The next scheduled 566 00:38:34,315 --> 00:38:36,995 Speaker 1: countdown is Monday bulletins as the news warrants till then, 567 00:38:37,035 --> 00:38:40,875 Speaker 1: I'm Keith Olruman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and 568 00:38:41,155 --> 00:38:56,915 Speaker 1: good luck. Countdown with Keith Oldman is a production of iHeartRadio. 569 00:38:57,195 --> 00:39:02,355 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 570 00:39:02,595 --> 00:39:04,555 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.