Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2: Hi, Cheekys, love it your podcast. Love how positive you are.
Speaker 2: I need advice with this situation. So I met this
Speaker 2: guy on Tinder I've been seeing I've seen him a
Speaker 2: few times, and I really like him. I think he's great.
Speaker 2: He's so talkative, he's so funny. He makes me feel
Speaker 2: awesome when I'm with him. But he does not fit
Speaker 2: any of the standards that I've set for myself and
Speaker 2: I guess for my partner. He smokes weed, he's been
Speaker 2: to jail, he has a criminal background, he does drugs,
Speaker 2: he's been an alcoholic. He says that he's a different personnel,
Speaker 2: that's all in his past. But it's quite concerning to me,
Speaker 2: and I don't know what to do with this. It's
Speaker 2: making me question continuing seeing him. What would you do
Speaker 2: in my situation? I mean, he's completely different from anything
Speaker 2: that I've wanted in the past, but he makes me
Speaker 2: feel great. I don't know how to maneuver this. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I should just cut it off now
Speaker 2: and avoid getting hurt later or what? Thank you?
Speaker 3: H okay?
Speaker 1: Is he doing drugs or he did drugs? Because you
Speaker 1: said he does drugs, so that's concerning. If he does drugs,
Speaker 1: that's a huge red flag. If that's something you're not
Speaker 1: down with. If you're not okay with your partner smoking weed,
Speaker 1: then that's a red flag. You have to ask yourself,
Speaker 1: you know, am I okay with weed?
Speaker 3: Am I not? I have a personal opinion on weed.
Speaker 3: You know. I smoke cannabis to sleep. I love it.
Speaker 3: I do it with my.
Speaker 1: Partner or on the same page. But if you are
Speaker 1: not on the same page and it's something you don't
Speaker 1: want and you don't want in a partner for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: then that to me is considered a yellow flag, an
Speaker 1: orange flag, or red flag. It all depends, you know.
Speaker 1: I do believe people can change. I do believe it.
Speaker 1: I have seen it. I have changed. I'm a different person.
Speaker 1: So I don't think it's fair to judge people because
Speaker 1: of their past and the mistakes that they've made. I
Speaker 1: think if they are willing to admit them, and and
Speaker 1: he has shared this with you, then I think he's
Speaker 1: on the path of just being himself and being open
Speaker 1: with you. If he's not lying about it, I think
Speaker 1: you're fine. I just don't know what kind of drugs
Speaker 1: he still does or if it's just weed.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I wish I had a little bit
Speaker 3: more clarity on that.
Speaker 1: But I do feel if he makes you feel good,
Speaker 1: and if he's being open and honest with you, then
Speaker 1: I think that's a good sign personally. If he's hiding things,
Speaker 1: if you're finding out and he's lying, then that's obviously
Speaker 1: not good. I think maybe having a conversation with him
Speaker 1: and just telling him, hey, would you be willing to
Speaker 1: stop smoking weed if that's a big problem for you?
Speaker 3: You know, But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I need a little bit more information. Can
Speaker 1: you ask send me another question again, you know through
Speaker 1: your Cheeky's do the speakpipe dot com, slash Chickius and
Speaker 1: Chill podcast, send me another one, giving me a little
Speaker 1: bit more detail so I can give you a better response.
Speaker 1: But I need to know is he still doing them
Speaker 1: the drugs? What kind of drugs? Like?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Is he responsible? Does he have a good fightcal score?
Speaker 1: That's a good question. What else can you ask? Is
Speaker 1: your responsible man with his bills? I mean, does he
Speaker 1: I need it a little bit more basically anonymous listener
Speaker 1: because you don't give your name either.
Speaker 3: But it's okay.
Speaker 1: I hope I was able to help a little bit,
Speaker 1: but yes, I need a little more clarity.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll be waiting.
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, So we're gonna move on to the second
Speaker 1: question that comes from Garina Garna Karina.
Speaker 4: Let's see, Hi, Cheeky's.
Speaker 5: I love you since forever you and your family of
Speaker 5: course your mother. I've always followed you guys, since the
Speaker 5: reality TV and your mom's music and now yours love
Speaker 5: you guys, So my question for you is what happens
Speaker 5: after a podcast? I just finished listening to Yours with
Speaker 5: Horamos and what happens next, Like, do you guys follow up?
Speaker 5: Do you send them like a little gift email, what
Speaker 5: happens after your podcast? Love you hope to hear from
Speaker 5: you soon, Karina.
Speaker 3: I love your question.
Speaker 1: It's a great question. It depends with like cork I,
Speaker 1: you know, like I said in the episode, he had
Speaker 1: interviewed me before. Ever since that interview, like we'll send
Speaker 1: dms here and there. Super nice guy, amazing So when
Speaker 1: he said yes to the podcast, I was just super psyched.
Speaker 1: I didn't send him a gift, but that's a good idea.
Speaker 1: Maybe I should start doing that. I definitely do follow
Speaker 1: up and say thank you, but I haven't sent a gift.
Speaker 1: I mean I've sent flowers to some guests because for
Speaker 1: their birthday and stuff like that. But yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I think more than anything, once you have someone sitting
Speaker 1: in this chair and they give you their time, to me,
Speaker 1: that's super valuable. So I always try to just check
Speaker 1: up on them and comment and have a little bit
Speaker 1: more of like a relationship, even if it's just through
Speaker 1: social media.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: But that's about it. But thank you for your question,
Speaker 1: and thank you for the idea too. Maybe I should
Speaker 1: start sending more gifts after they come on. Okay, guys, ooh,
Speaker 1: we have another anonymous listener. Let's see what question they have.
Speaker 6: Hi Cheeky's Tula Moosa love you girl. So I will
Speaker 6: remain anonymous for my question. I just wanted to get
Speaker 6: your opinion on this. I work at a credit union
Speaker 6: and I'm with an operations department, so I assist all
Speaker 6: of the branches that the credit union owns in case
Speaker 6: anybody has any questions. You know, I roll up my sleeves,
Speaker 6: I held them out. And I just recently was told
Speaker 6: by one of my closest quote unquote friends from work
Speaker 6: that there's other managers at other branches that are trying
Speaker 6: to spread rumors saying that I'm a gralla and that
Speaker 6: I'm a snob. And I'm just like, holy shit, that
Speaker 6: sucks because I'm always the one to drop what I'm doing,
Speaker 6: and like, I don't even tell them hey did you
Speaker 6: check this? Did you check that? When they have any questions,
Speaker 6: I just literally answer questions more of them and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 6: I got you. You know, next time, check here or
Speaker 6: check there, or you can find the answer here. But
Speaker 6: you know, I help them out and cover the branches
Speaker 6: I'm at the front line, you know. I do so
Speaker 6: much to help them out and be there for them
Speaker 6: as best as I can. So when I found that out,
Speaker 6: I kind of hurt my feelings. I found out who
Speaker 6: supposedly this is coming from. But I guess that's my
Speaker 6: question to use. What will you do if you know
Speaker 6: it's a cheese man, but you know who it's coming from.
Speaker 6: Do you confront the person or do you just let
Speaker 6: it go? Like I'm usually that person, I'd rather not know.
Speaker 6: I'll let it go. But what do you think? What
Speaker 6: would you do in my situation? Thank you so much?
Speaker 1: Well, miss anonymous listener, Well, you gotta hate girl, And
Speaker 1: when someone's hating on you, so because you're doing something right,
Speaker 1: I it all depends. I'm not a very confrontational person,
Speaker 1: but I don't mind letting someone know and putting them
Speaker 1: in their place when I need it. But she's saying
Speaker 1: that you're a kreiva and I know it all or
Speaker 1: a snob. That's because she's probably jealous of the position
Speaker 1: that you have and how hard working you are. I
Speaker 1: feel like it's jealousy because if it wasn't, then why
Speaker 1: would she be saying it behind your back, tell me
Speaker 1: my face, girl. But if she was saying something deeper,
Speaker 1: I'd say confront her. Maybe it's just not even worth
Speaker 1: it. It's just let me do what I'm doing. She's not
Speaker 1: saying that an I'm lazy or I'm boning someone, or
Speaker 1: she's just saying that you're a kreta, that you're a snob. Well,
Speaker 1: you're doing what you gotta do. You're not there to
Speaker 1: try to make friends, like, you're there to do your job.
Speaker 1: And if no one's complaining about your job, then you're
Speaker 1: doing a great job.
Speaker 3: So let it go.
Speaker 1: Don't even say hello, kill people with kindness, hi, by
Speaker 1: you know, cool, be polite and do your job. But
Speaker 1: I don't think it's worth it to be honest, like,
Speaker 1: you know, tell her anything, like why give her the
Speaker 1: attention that she probably wants. Just continue doing you, Mama Sita,
Speaker 1: When you're doing something right, people be hating, maybe saying
Speaker 1: stuff they've been They've said that about me so much,
Speaker 1: that I'm a mamna that this is.
Speaker 3: I'm like, dude, you don't even know me. Sit that
Speaker 3: with me. We're gonna be cool.
Speaker 1: But anyways, yeah, don't even girls, don't even let it
Speaker 1: bother you keep up the good work. Okay, guys. Our
Speaker 1: last question comes from Yadidrah.
Speaker 4: I was in a four year relationship and I had
Speaker 4: a baby with the dad, and I just don't know
Speaker 4: how to go about him because it's like four years
Speaker 4: down the drain, but then like two years of almost
Speaker 4: having the baby. But it's just like I don't know
Speaker 4: if I should hold onto the relationship when I already
Speaker 4: know he wasn't being a father. Yeah, like he's the
Speaker 4: dad and my kid, but you have to earn that
Speaker 4: father title because he never once bought him diapers. He
Speaker 4: never took him to the park, He never wanted to
Speaker 4: do anything with his baby. But now that we separated,
Speaker 4: now he wants to come around and be like I
Speaker 4: want to see my baby, and all of a sudden
Speaker 4: he wants to start buying him diapers. But it's like
Speaker 4: where were.
Speaker 7: You then when I really needed you, like his newborn stage,
Speaker 7: and now he's almost two, and it's just like I'm
Speaker 7: trying to get over this guy, but it's like really hard,
Speaker 7: like every day think about him, and it's like I
Speaker 7: don't want to think about him because he was really
Speaker 7: bad to me.
Speaker 4: He was like verbally abusive, and it's just I keep thinking,
Speaker 4: like why are you even thinking about him? Or why
Speaker 4: are you giving him a space in your mind? You know,
Speaker 4: like just let him go? What advice can you give
Speaker 4: me to just move on or just be happy with myself?
Speaker 4: Because it makes it hard every day for me to
Speaker 4: just keep going. But I know I have to be
Speaker 4: strong for my baby.
Speaker 1: You know the little music in the background, the little lullaby, guys,
Speaker 1: I love it, okay, yahdi dah. This is tough because
Speaker 1: you have to be able to separate your relationship with
Speaker 1: him and the relationship that he has with his child
Speaker 1: and that he wants to have. Yes, we're upset with him.
Speaker 1: I'm upset with him, like why didn't you look for
Speaker 1: the baby when I really needed it.
Speaker 3: In you know, the newborn stage.
Speaker 1: But sometimes guys don't make that click, like don't even
Speaker 1: take it personal, like they don't like get it. And
Speaker 1: I think in the very beginning, not all guys, some guys,
Speaker 1: you know, and maybe he was just one of those
Speaker 1: guys that didn't really understand. And now you can't take
Speaker 1: that from him now that he wants to step in,
Speaker 1: if he's willing to buy diapers and be there for
Speaker 1: his son allow it. Don't take that from your child,
Speaker 1: and don't take that from him. You have to separate
Speaker 1: the two now if you're still not over him, your
Speaker 1: baby and his feelings. The baby's feelings are more important
Speaker 1: right now than your own, Like, don't do that to
Speaker 1: your baby, like try to like keep him away from
Speaker 1: his dad. You just have to work on yourself, you know,
Speaker 1: in the way of like whatever is going to make
Speaker 1: you happy, work out, Like do those things that make
Speaker 1: you feel good and are going to make you look good.
Speaker 3: So that when he picks up the baby, you look good, girl,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Not because we want him back, you know, especially if
Speaker 1: it was verbally abusive, no, but just so that you
Speaker 1: feel good, like I want him to see and I'm good.
Speaker 1: I'm good, even if you're not one hundred percent, Like
Speaker 1: it's okay to like fake it a little bit, you know,
Speaker 1: like you are good, and that is also going to
Speaker 1: help you speed up the healing process, feeling good, taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself. But you guys know, I'm always the
Speaker 1: one to say, go to therapy. Do therapy. Therapy helps
Speaker 1: so much, babe, And if you can do that to
Speaker 1: help you get through this hump in the love road.
Speaker 1: Do so, but separate that. Don't mix the two, you know,
Speaker 1: especially if he wants to be in the baby's life
Speaker 1: and hopefully he's helping you financially. Okay, hope that helped.
Speaker 1: Oh that was our last question.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that felt really fast. Okay, So guys,
Speaker 1: I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Thank you to
Speaker 1: our two anonymous listeners, to Karina and ta Yahida for
Speaker 1: your questions. And if you have a question, please leave
Speaker 1: it at speakpipe dot com, slash Chikys and Chill Podcasts.
Speaker 3: I'd love to hear from you. I love you guys
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 1: Peete. This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Withura
Speaker 1: podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Mike Withdura Podcasts
Speaker 1: and follow me Cheeky's That's c h I q U
Speaker 1: I s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
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