Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer podcast. Glaser. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's a Nick Klaser podcast.
Speaker 1: I am in a hotel room in Los Angeles. I
Speaker 1: have nothing going on in my life right now. I
Speaker 1: was thinking, I went to go journal this morning, nothing
Speaker 1: that is like of note, and I was like trying
Speaker 1: to come up with some stuff to talk about today.
Speaker 2: I was journaling. I have been journaling every day, which
Speaker 2: is good.
Speaker 1: I like have been having pretty good dreams and I've
Speaker 1: been writing them down and stuff, and no one wants
Speaker 1: to hear that fucking shit, not even my therapist. I
Speaker 1: was starting to like talk about my dreams two days
Speaker 1: ago when I saw her and I could tell she
Speaker 1: was just like, even I'm bored with this, and I
Speaker 1: know what they mean, you know, like it was just
Speaker 1: falling off of roller coasters.
Speaker 3: Oh, we got to stop with the dreams. I think.
Speaker 1: I'm right, Yeah, I don't want to.
Speaker 3: There's some symbolism to them, but like I mean, it's
Speaker 3: a it's a trope in the this and up comedy
Speaker 3: world that's like a million comedians with the joke or
Speaker 3: even in sitcoms, but like one that no one wants
Speaker 3: to hear your dreams. It's not interesting at all. There's
Speaker 3: only one time that dreams are interesting to the other person,
Speaker 3: and that is.
Speaker 2: They're sex or you're in it.
Speaker 3: If you're in it, I don't think if there's it's
Speaker 3: like vacation photos.
Speaker 1: It's it's like someone some comedian or maybe it was like, uh,
Speaker 1: I think it might have been Dennis on Always Sonny said,
Speaker 1: dreams are like people's photos. I don't want to see
Speaker 1: it unless there's sex or I'm in them. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't hear about you know, something like that. It was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's a good annoualog.
Speaker 3: Because they're such bullshit. They're always just you know, there's
Speaker 3: no rules. It's like, oh, I saw this thing, and
Speaker 3: then my aunt was there, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: I was in Topeka, and it's like who there's no.
Speaker 1: Way to describe them. It's like an acid trip. It
Speaker 1: doesn't sound interesting to anyone else who like. That's the
Speaker 1: same way I feel about people doing psychedelics and telling
Speaker 1: me about that experience, even though I do ask, and
Speaker 1: I did, like I was talking to some about it.
Speaker 1: I saw a clip of Theo Vaughn the other night,
Speaker 1: you know, like YouTube just serves up what you need.
Speaker 1: And it was like, THEO Von describes the difference between
Speaker 1: DMT and ayahuasca, and he said that DMT is like
Speaker 1: being buried in a pinball machine that's like on and
Speaker 1: it's just going on and you're inside it, man, and
Speaker 1: it's like a double baller or what. I don't know
Speaker 1: how you eat out the talks and then he said,
Speaker 1: but ayahuasca was like your heart farts. He was like
Speaker 1: it really, it's if you don't if you want to
Speaker 1: ever know the difference between those two or have any
Speaker 1: one like you just want to know what that it's like.
Speaker 1: It was a very elucidating, you know, description of both
Speaker 1: of the things to me, because I've always gotten them confused.
Speaker 1: I know I'll never do DMTA. Neil Brand told me, Yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: THEO is one of the best people to just talk
Speaker 1: about anything. I mean, he's one of my favorite people
Speaker 1: to just look up clips and just hear him talk.
Speaker 1: He's he's one of the best talkers that will ever exist.
Speaker 1: And but I was just thinking about dreams. I recall
Speaker 1: my favorite Mitch Hedberg joke. One of my favorites is
Speaker 1: like man dreams, you know, I'm paraphrasing, dreams are like bullshit,
Speaker 1: man like you could do anything, He's like, But most
Speaker 1: of the time it's just like I'm building a shed
Speaker 1: with my landlord. You could do anything.
Speaker 4: My dreams are just like and then I'm packing my shampoo, and.
Speaker 1: Packing is a crazy one for me. I pack a
Speaker 1: lot in dreams anyway, So let's not talk about dreams anyway.
Speaker 1: Been journaling a lot, didn't I have nothing to talk about,
Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2: Throw it to you, guys, what any.
Speaker 4: And then you're like, I have nothing?
Speaker 1: No, I well, I had something. I always have something
Speaker 1: if I talk enough. But I really want to pitch
Speaker 1: it to you guys with like, what do you have?
Speaker 1: Major update?
Speaker 3: Major update that I'm sure the best of these are
Speaker 3: all curious to hear, and that is that the the
Speaker 3: old Rag.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's somewhere you're going to say.
Speaker 3: That the old Rag has been delivered to Nikki.
Speaker 2: There's many stains on it.
Speaker 3: I told you it was not a good rat.
Speaker 2: I thought it was old. I didn't know it would have.
Speaker 4: A microfiber from your glasses.
Speaker 2: Case microfibers of murder scenes on it. Like it's like
Speaker 2: it looks like a lot.
Speaker 4: It's vintage for it.
Speaker 2: I liked it. It says eye people.
Speaker 3: Or something on it, an old eye care professional, and.
Speaker 1: It's a great gift.
Speaker 3: Look, there's a twist.
Speaker 4: How does that feel to part with it?
Speaker 1: Is there a twist?
Speaker 3: I didn't even know I had it, so it feels nothing.
Speaker 3: I feel like someone.
Speaker 1: Explained that he got it out of the waste basket
Speaker 1: after you all take that.
Speaker 4: Oh, I thought it was in a special zip lock
Speaker 4: that he carries around.
Speaker 1: No, it was like in a it was he threw
Speaker 1: it out on the show.
Speaker 3: There's a twist.
Speaker 1: What's the twist?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: No, you need it back, there will still open.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 3: I went back into my bag. It was much deeper
Speaker 3: than I had originally realized, and I found a another
Speaker 3: old rag from the same place I had that.
Speaker 2: Little better stiff.
Speaker 3: It's not stiff, it's no very few stains. Do you
Speaker 3: want to ski?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I want I want that.
Speaker 3: I don't know what these stains are. They're like black.
Speaker 3: I don't know what that could because I use these
Speaker 3: for my glasses.
Speaker 2: Can't believe you still have this stuff.
Speaker 1: And I can't believe that you went further through that bag, Like,
Speaker 1: do you have that much time on your hand. I
Speaker 1: don't think you do.
Speaker 3: No, I don't, but you don't.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 3: I'll always make time for my rag bag.
Speaker 1: Brian's been going to like he's he's got a lot
Speaker 1: going on. He got a new mattress, which is like
Speaker 1: the dreams of It's like, I want to hear about
Speaker 1: this just as much I want to hear about people's dams.
Speaker 1: But it actually is interesting because buying a mattress is
Speaker 1: such a fucking arduous process.
Speaker 2: And uh, you got a Temperpedick.
Speaker 3: Yes, right now behind me is a temper Pedick Breeze
Speaker 3: lux medium. And I got to say, anyone out there,
Speaker 3: any of the besties, please help me. I need your
Speaker 3: help because I got this temper pedic mattress. It costs
Speaker 3: like six thousand dollars. And I know that there's a
Speaker 3: break in period. I know that, but I just don't
Speaker 3: trust that there it's gonna work. Because I'm sitting there
Speaker 3: raising your hand. It's much firmer than I thought it
Speaker 3: was going to be. And I wanted I want to
Speaker 3: sink in, and it's not sinking in at all.
Speaker 6: Brian, I understand your pain. We had the same exact thing.
Speaker 6: We spent like the most amount of money that we
Speaker 6: have ever spent on a piece of furniture. But it
Speaker 6: became worth it. You just have to wait. It'll take
Speaker 6: like four months, no unfortunate months.
Speaker 3: That's past the return and I can't not sleep for
Speaker 3: four months.
Speaker 1: That's past.
Speaker 6: It works, It works, and it will It'll be a
Speaker 6: game changers super mattress.
Speaker 2: Yes, ours is a temporari.
Speaker 1: You didn't tell you by the hybrid kind? Or did
Speaker 1: you buy the like it's gonna let me sink into
Speaker 1: it kind of because Brian what he wanted out of
Speaker 1: the temper Sepedic is that it forms to his body.
Speaker 1: But when he went to the showroom, he was talked
Speaker 1: into a hybrid of the four to your body and
Speaker 1: the spring. And then he gets out of there and
Speaker 1: he gets the hybrid, and now it's arrived and he goes,
Speaker 1: why didn't I just get the thing that I wanted,
Speaker 1: which is like it just forms to your body.
Speaker 2: So which one did you get?
Speaker 6: Noah, I cannot remember. I think we may have gotten
Speaker 6: the hybrid. I can get back to you.
Speaker 1: Saw this is.
Speaker 3: What this is also the problem with mattresses. I've asked
Speaker 3: almost every single person in my life, what kind of
Speaker 3: mattrees they got, and either it's like Nicky's answer is like,
Speaker 3: I have a shitty mattress. I don't give a shit
Speaker 3: about it. I want a new one, and so that's
Speaker 3: not very helpful, or it's or it's I have a
Speaker 3: great mattress. I love it. It's the best mattress in
Speaker 3: the world. What kind is it? Oh, I don't I
Speaker 3: don't remember. I guess I'll look it up and then
Speaker 3: I look up the receipt and it's just, oh, I
Speaker 3: found the receipt. But it just says, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: it just says like mattress good. And it's like, well,
Speaker 3: what the fuck is that? Is it medium? Is it firm?
Speaker 3: Is the spring?
Speaker 1: It's medium? It's medium. I know that's for sure.
Speaker 6: I just don't know which design it is, uh like
Speaker 6: a year ago or something, or you just.
Speaker 1: Is like disenchanted with it at first, and like what
Speaker 1: a waste of money? And did you both have a
Speaker 1: night four months and where we were like it's working,
Speaker 1: like I mean time and I love.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we have just like aggressive sex on it to
Speaker 6: break it in. But before that, yeah, I was really
Speaker 6: worried because it was so we were dropping like so
Speaker 6: much money on it, and for my whole life.
Speaker 1: I heard temper Pedic is the one. It's the best.
Speaker 6: And then when we finally after getting it delivered and
Speaker 6: it was a commitment to put it in the house,
Speaker 6: we got the little platform and everything, and we were
Speaker 6: just like, this is a lot more firm than I
Speaker 6: remember at the store. And then I had like when
Speaker 6: I checked, it was exactly medium firmness, and I was
Speaker 6: just like, we're gonna have to return this and go
Speaker 6: through the whole process. And I was really like just
Speaker 6: so agitated over that. But right like as it got
Speaker 6: to like the four or five month period, all of
Speaker 6: a sudden, I was like, this, this mattress is so comfortable,
Speaker 6: we're not.
Speaker 4: Is it just because your will has been broken down?
Speaker 4: Or does something happen in the biochemistry of the mattress.
Speaker 6: I have been sleeping on a shitty mattress because I'm
Speaker 6: at my dad's house, and my back and my neck
Speaker 6: aren't so much pain, like pain that I don't feel
Speaker 6: anymore because I sleep.
Speaker 3: How many days have you been sleeping on your dad's mattress?
Speaker 1: I've been here for the three months, twenty.
Speaker 3: Three days, twenty that's enough. To get used to it. Wow, yeah,
Speaker 3: shitty mattress. You can't. You can't get it.
Speaker 4: It might be your pillow. I had a temperpedic pillow
Speaker 4: which I got addicted to, and then I just gave
Speaker 4: it to Matt because he had a really bad neck.
Speaker 5: Once.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm might mat next, fine, now take this,
Speaker 4: And now I'm like, is that a scam? A temperpedic pillow?
Speaker 4: And I think I'm fine.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think the pillows are really expensive,
Speaker 3: and there's a million different types, and so far I've
Speaker 3: tried almost every one of them, and I'm not sold
Speaker 3: on the pillows. I'm not sold on the mattress. I
Speaker 3: don't know. I think. I mean. I wrote an episode
Speaker 3: of Adam Ruin's Everything on mattress where we literally said, yeah,
Speaker 3: I wrote a whole episode on mattresses where we literally
Speaker 3: get you. Then, I don't know, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I literally said in this. I wrote this on a
Speaker 3: script and it was said on television, do not spend
Speaker 3: thousands of dollars on a mattress. It's a scam. I
Speaker 3: wrote that, and then I went ahead and I spent
Speaker 3: thousands of dollars on the line.
Speaker 1: Did you write that? What was your finding? Will you
Speaker 1: like tell us what the gist of the episode was
Speaker 1: and why that that's true and what you should do
Speaker 1: instead of spending thousands of dollars.
Speaker 3: Studies have shown that there is very little difference in
Speaker 3: customer satisfaction between after you reach a certain threshold in mattresses.
Speaker 3: So like you don't want to buy like a five
Speaker 3: hundred dollars mattress, like the mattress no was probably sleeping on,
Speaker 3: But once you pass like a thousand dollars, there is
Speaker 3: no difference in customer satisfaction between a one thousand dollars
Speaker 3: mattress and a ten thousand dollars mattress. It's like it's
Speaker 3: like you know that thing where you make a certain
Speaker 3: amount of money. Yeah, once you pass that threshold, it
Speaker 3: doesn't matter if you make two hundred thousand dollars or
Speaker 3: four hundred thousand dollars, it's like all the same. Well,
Speaker 3: that's how it is with mattresses, and a lot of
Speaker 3: the materials that are in mattresses are made by the
Speaker 3: same three companies. You know. That's like the coils with eyeglasses.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's basically like canned good canned tomatoes, like
Speaker 4: I told you guys.
Speaker 2: Coming from the same factory.
Speaker 1: It's just the label or like a hallal meat, oh exactly.
Speaker 3: And you know the meat that's spinning and you're like, well,
Speaker 3: that doesn't look like real meat. Guess what, it's not
Speaker 3: real meat. It's mostly sawdust and breadcrumbs. You freaks. You're
Speaker 3: eating a bunch of shit, all right, Well the mattress.
Speaker 1: The other day it's vegan, is eat that meat now?
Speaker 3: And then also there's like a bunch of shady practices
Speaker 3: at the.
Speaker 1: Mattresses, go against everything you know, and wrote like what
Speaker 1: have you explored?
Speaker 3: Like what made you I'm desolate?
Speaker 1: Pain?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that the pain is a great motivator. And
Speaker 3: I was grinding and clenching my teeth at night and
Speaker 3: destroying my teeth, and I learned that I have to
Speaker 3: sleep on my back in order to not do it
Speaker 3: as much. And the mattress I used to have, which
Speaker 3: also cost five thousand dollars, was too firm. It was
Speaker 3: way too firm. I couldn't sleep on my back and
Speaker 3: too many pressure points. So I slept in an airbnb
Speaker 3: where there was a memory foam mattress, and I slept
Speaker 3: all night on my back, and I was like, I
Speaker 3: think I need a memory foam, so I you know,
Speaker 3: even though get that exact one, well, I thought about it.
Speaker 3: We contacted the airbnb owner and they said, of course
Speaker 3: you did. Yeah, and they said I was like, this
Speaker 3: was this was It wasn't the best mattress I've ever
Speaker 3: slept in, but it was good enough. And they said
Speaker 3: it was a six hundred dollars mattress from Wayfair. It
Speaker 3: didn't even have a.
Speaker 1: Name, right, yeah, so you weren't able to find the model.
Speaker 3: No I was, but I was like, Okay, yes, that
Speaker 3: mattress was.
Speaker 1: Good, that's not past one thousand dollars point that you
Speaker 1: need to feel good.
Speaker 3: And also that mattress is probably not going to last
Speaker 3: very long. It's probably going to be like sagging after
Speaker 3: a year. And then like I don't want to go
Speaker 3: through this again. So at least was like, let me
Speaker 3: go find a memory phone mattress. That's why I did it.
Speaker 3: And then I just went to the store and I'll
Speaker 3: tell you what those I mean. They have all these
Speaker 3: things in place that make you buy the mattress. They
Speaker 3: offer three years zero interest financing, they always have a sale,
Speaker 3: it's ending tomorrow. They have the mattress salesman who's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'll just leave you alone and let you sleep on it.
Speaker 3: And then and then they come back five minutes later
Speaker 3: and they're like, how was it? And then they offer
Speaker 3: you the ninety day return policy so you can return it.
Speaker 3: So it's like, oh, is this even really a purchase?
Speaker 3: So then you just walk out of the store all
Speaker 3: of a sudden. So you spend six grand on a
Speaker 3: mattress and you all wells fargo your life savings and
Speaker 3: now you're sleeping on a brick.
Speaker 4: May I have a solution and a hopeful anecdote? I'll
Speaker 4: tell you the hopeful No, I'll tell you the solution. Okay, No,
Speaker 4: I'll tell you the helpful it. Okay, no solution, Yeah,
Speaker 4: let's do the solution.
Speaker 1: Solution.
Speaker 4: I was just kidding, ok yeah, pillow top mattress. Just
Speaker 4: spend thirty bucks on a pillow top?
Speaker 1: You did it?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 4: Then should have told that last I wanted Matt mattter
Speaker 4: ring shopping for wedding rings and it was annoying, and
Speaker 4: we finally he found a company online where they send
Speaker 4: you a bunch of ring samples. You try them on,
Speaker 4: you figure out your guys. Yeah, and we decided. He
Speaker 4: decided on one. I was like, oh, I wasn't I
Speaker 4: didn't know I had a preference for rings, but these
Speaker 4: were not the specifications I would have decided. I was
Speaker 4: thinking round, classic for him. For him, like a bright
Speaker 4: He's like, I don't know what to do, babe, which one.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't care, pick one you like, and
Speaker 4: then he picks when he likes and I was like, whoa,
Speaker 4: I don't think I like that.
Speaker 1: Whatever.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I didn't even know what I liked, but
Speaker 4: I realized, I guess I like a classic men's wedding ring,
Speaker 4: kind of bright, like shinier gold, which is not what
Speaker 4: I would think I would like, rounded edges, not super
Speaker 4: not super thick, not super thin. Anyway, he picks like
Speaker 4: a matte pale gold. It's like, not shiny at all,
Speaker 4: and it's a little thinner than I'm used to it,
Speaker 4: and it's got square edges, so it looks like a
Speaker 4: little more industrial. I was like, I don't know if
Speaker 4: I like that. It's kind of nineties or something. Anyway,
Speaker 4: I don't I don't say what I want because I'm
Speaker 4: like I don't even know what I want. Just let
Speaker 4: this guy choose. It's his fucking ring. And then it
Speaker 4: comes and he's wearing it, and I was just like,
Speaker 4: I think I hate it, but in my head, he
Speaker 4: doesn't even know this. For two days, I'm like, I
Speaker 4: think I fucking hate it. And I know there's a
Speaker 4: return period and it's like free exchange or whatever, and
Speaker 4: I was just like, should we exchange it? And I
Speaker 4: just bit my tongue and now whatever, you know, a
Speaker 4: month or two months after we had bought those rings,
Speaker 4: I fucking love it. It looks so cool on him.
Speaker 4: It looks I'm like, that is the coolest ring I've
Speaker 4: ever seen, like every day. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 4: I've just gotten used to it, but it just looks.
Speaker 4: It's like very Matt. I can't explain it.
Speaker 1: It looks.
Speaker 4: It looks cool. So I'm glad I kind of listened
Speaker 4: to the tiny, tiny voice in my head that was like, eh,
Speaker 4: just let this alone. Try to micromanage this.
Speaker 1: So this is another reason why marriage I don't want
Speaker 1: to do it.
Speaker 2: Could I just say here's another thing.
Speaker 1: I can't commit to a ring the rest of my life,
Speaker 1: like a piece of jewelry that I have to wear forever.
Speaker 2: And also who cares?
Speaker 1: Like, were you just mad that you were going to
Speaker 1: like see his ring and always just feel like, oh god,
Speaker 1: it's ugly like the rest of your life. Was that
Speaker 1: your fear or that people would think your husband's lame
Speaker 1: if they saw it because he likes it, So what
Speaker 1: does it matter? It's just like I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm very much into like how like I get a
Speaker 4: lot of joy from the aesthetics of things, So like
Speaker 4: I can just stare at my own I don't fucking know,
Speaker 4: like a chair that I bought, and just be like, God.
Speaker 1: When you had your nails done, you were like, I
Speaker 1: can't stop looking at them. They still long.
Speaker 4: No, no, I cut them off. They're still they're like
Speaker 4: growing out. But I chopped them off so I could
Speaker 4: play guitar. Right, But the weird plasticky thing, the extension
Speaker 4: is still glued on there.
Speaker 1: Right, And then what happens with that? You have to
Speaker 1: have it like removed. I forget.
Speaker 4: Eventually I'm going to just have it removed, but I'm
Speaker 4: too lazy to go. And right now, it's actually making
Speaker 4: the guitar picking sound really cool because they're so thick.
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you feel about your spray tand do
Speaker 2: you miss it? Because mine?
Speaker 4: I missed it, but I got it strange. First of all,
Speaker 4: it did ruin my favorite white pants. I just got these,
Speaker 4: and it ruined the bottoms of them. I went to
Speaker 4: the foot massage place and they moved my pants up.
Speaker 4: They hiked them up to my knees and then you know,
Speaker 4: they were lotioning me up and it was hot that
Speaker 4: day in New York. And then when they were all done,
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, horrified. My spray tand is like there's
Speaker 4: a ring around my little white pants And I was.
Speaker 1: Like, fuck why I get tons of spray tan on
Speaker 1: towels and like makeup and spray tan, and they are
Speaker 1: always at hotels like they maybe they throw out the
Speaker 1: toels because they're like this is ruined.
Speaker 2: Like how do why can't you just bleach things the
Speaker 2: way hotels do?
Speaker 1: Why can we not do it?
Speaker 4: But this is three three washes later and oh so
Speaker 4: I'll just bleach them. It's almost back to normal. But
Speaker 4: it was annoying. I missed the spray can though, although
Speaker 4: I did develop a weird dot on my leg that
Speaker 4: is still there.
Speaker 1: Do you ever get these age spots? Was gone? No,
Speaker 1: I thought it was the plasma because they know they
Speaker 1: like definitely highlight your age spots when you get spray tan.
Speaker 4: See that little freckle right there or not. So that
Speaker 4: was really dark. And that came like the night after
Speaker 4: my spray tan. I woke up with a super dark, dark,
Speaker 4: dark thing and it felt like a scab. So I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's just spraytn collected in a weird spot, but it's
Speaker 4: taken three weeks to go away. Do you ever get those?
Speaker 1: I would never notice that my ba not.
Speaker 4: Just a weird dark dot on your leg.
Speaker 2: You're you're very self aware.
Speaker 1: I would not know. I mean like, yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: I have people are constantly worried about my spraytan more
Speaker 1: than I am, Like just makeup artists and people are
Speaker 1: just like, oh, it's like on the back, it's patch.
Speaker 1: I'm like, cause I got a spraytan. Like people can
Speaker 1: probably look at me and understand her armpits are gonna
Speaker 1: be white because she got a spray tan and it
Speaker 1: was a shitty one because she doesn't like because people go,
Speaker 1: why don't you get custom ones? Because I just go
Speaker 1: in a booth every single time, no matter what the
Speaker 1: level of a thing appearance I'm making. And a booth
Speaker 1: is just like for people who are maybe going to
Speaker 1: a wedding that weekend. They're not in the wedding, but
Speaker 1: you are supposed to get a custom one for like
Speaker 1: the real good spraytand but I will not do it.
Speaker 4: And do you know why, because you don't want to
Speaker 4: wait exactly.
Speaker 1: People think it's like it's because you don't want to
Speaker 1: be naked in front of someone. It's also a lot
Speaker 1: more expensive. It is not any of those things. It's
Speaker 1: because it takes too fucking long.
Speaker 3: A booth.
Speaker 1: You go in and it just like sprays you naked
Speaker 1: and it goes down. Yeah, it's a glory. Like you
Speaker 1: go in, you take off all your clothes. I don't
Speaker 1: do any lotion barriers because there's a spray. There's like
Speaker 1: a wet wipe in there that you just afterwards, you
Speaker 1: just wipe all the places that you don't want spray
Speaker 1: tann on. You don't need to do lotion barriers. It's
Speaker 1: stupid And I've been doing these for hundreds of years.
Speaker 2: And so you go ends of.
Speaker 4: Your hands are a little bit orange. Did you not
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 1: No, they're not.
Speaker 2: It's just looking that way, like if I see them
Speaker 2: up close, they're not.
Speaker 1: They really aren't. My hand is orange. This is orange,
Speaker 1: but this I know it looks orange, but it's not.
Speaker 1: For some reason what I look at it.
Speaker 4: Are you supposed to do your armpits too? I forgot
Speaker 4: she had me do it, but I was so self
Speaker 4: conscious of black?
Speaker 2: But who is seeing your armpits? And who is going
Speaker 2: to go?
Speaker 4: I would definitely look like who cares? Now they're supposed
Speaker 4: to be white.
Speaker 1: Exactly, But like, I just don't get, like, can't people
Speaker 1: just understand that there's gonna be like a little bit
Speaker 1: like there are people with vital igo and everyone's not like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, burn her, you know, like, who gives
Speaker 1: a shit if it's a little spotchy, we're gonna go.
Speaker 3: To break What I say that, I don't know. That's
Speaker 3: just me though? What burn people? They have spots? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm just disgusted by everybody.
Speaker 1: So you get naked, you go into a booth, it
Speaker 1: tells you, I mean, depending on the like this is.
Speaker 1: I want every girl to know this because spreetans will
Speaker 1: elevate you so much, and everyone's so scared of going
Speaker 1: into a spraytan booth. It will not just go to
Speaker 1: a low level, But I always go to the highest
Speaker 1: level no matter what, because it's so disappointing when it
Speaker 1: doesn't show up at all, and it will never.
Speaker 2: Be so high that you're like, I look insane. At
Speaker 2: least for me. There's not enough tan I could be.
Speaker 1: So you go and you press a button, you stand
Speaker 1: like this, then you have one arm like this, Then
Speaker 1: you have one arm like this, then you stay from behind,
Speaker 1: and then they do two and then they go drying
Speaker 1: phase and it takes five minutes and then you're dry
Speaker 1: by the time you step out. You maybe like dance
Speaker 1: around a little bit, take a picture for your boyfriend,
Speaker 1: because you will look super tan and super hot and
Speaker 1: the lighting's really low and it looks it's always a
Speaker 1: great time to get like a sex sual and you're
Speaker 1: like kind of wet looking and that's always a good look.
Speaker 1: Send that off to him, validate your existence, and then
Speaker 1: you leave in your fucking hand and it's great.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, you're a pro. That makes sense. If I
Speaker 4: had had more than like five spray hands in my life,
Speaker 4: i'd booth it up to I'd be like, I got this.
Speaker 1: But why don't you just trust me? Both because it's
Speaker 1: there's nothing that I'm.
Speaker 4: Still learning how to, Like, don't.
Speaker 1: Waste that top spray because it starts spraying at your
Speaker 1: head for tall people and especially if you're a shorty,
Speaker 1: put your arms up and follow it down and then
Speaker 1: hit the pose where it would be.
Speaker 3: As Chris said, she just can't handle the booth. He
Speaker 3: said that it was funny.
Speaker 4: There's a writer's strike.
Speaker 1: You just still you can't handle them. Who did you say?
Speaker 1: Said that?
Speaker 3: Christ Convey? He said that Chris Conny said it, and
Speaker 3: at a very appropriate moment it laughed out loud.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, then that makes sense.
Speaker 1: God, I miss him. That really made me miss it.
Speaker 1: I feel we don't talk on the phone when we're apart,
Speaker 1: so I kind of feel like he is we'll talk
Speaker 1: more about all of this and also.
Speaker 2: Less when we get back.
Speaker 1: We're back. I'm guessing that I when Chris said she
Speaker 1: just can't handle the booth, I was talking about a
Speaker 1: spray tand booth.
Speaker 3: No, you weren't there. It was we were driving to
Speaker 3: the UDO concert and there's that parking lot outside of
Speaker 3: the concert venue, and there is a parking attendant lady
Speaker 3: in a booth and she was she kind of like
Speaker 3: gave us a hard time because Chris was like trying
Speaker 3: to park in the special parking spots because you know,
Speaker 3: he's like associated with the concert, and they gave us
Speaker 3: a hard time. Then we went to go get dinner,
Speaker 3: and we came back and I pointed out, Oh, the
Speaker 3: parking attendant lady isn't there anymore, and then he goes,
Speaker 3: I guess she could just couldn't handle the booth.
Speaker 4: That's very clever.
Speaker 2: Good, Yeah, that does make me.
Speaker 1: It's good.
Speaker 3: Ye, he said. It's so fast too.
Speaker 2: Right, He's very quick.
Speaker 1: I'm very That's why I love listening to his radio
Speaker 1: show because I'm reminded of how fucking fast and funny
Speaker 1: and quick he is in many ways. But he does.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a pun. Some people are nauseated by them.
Speaker 1: But that's a good one.
Speaker 3: No, Yeah, people are nauseated by bad punts, you.
Speaker 1: Know, or ones where the person is really proud of themselves.
Speaker 2: No, not that hard and then go huh you know
Speaker 2: like that, yeah, and you wait.
Speaker 4: It is interesting how some comdians' minds you can tell
Speaker 4: by hearing their set. They cannot help writing puns. It's
Speaker 4: like completely involuntary. It's just how their brains work. Like
Speaker 4: Mark Norman's new special Full of Full of Puns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, did you watch the whole thing?
Speaker 4: I've watched half of it, but he's so clever and he.
Speaker 1: Did you get through it all? And there's literally no
Speaker 1: comedian I can get through it all.
Speaker 4: I love Mark and luck. He reminds me of like
Speaker 4: a funny Grandpa cross and it's weird because he's like
Speaker 4: a young, god looking guy, but he's got that grandpa
Speaker 4: voice and some of the jokes are very like dirty grandpa,
Speaker 4: so it's cute.
Speaker 1: I wanted to write one point five times the speed
Speaker 1: lesson I couldn't sleep. I was like, Oh, check out
Speaker 1: Mark's new special Soup to Nuts. It's on Netflix. Mark
Speaker 1: is one of the best, you know, joke writers. And
Speaker 1: but I was listening to him actually on Theo Vonn's
Speaker 1: podcast again. A YouTube clip popped up and he was
Speaker 1: talking about how in THEO was saying man like, I
Speaker 1: was laughing out loud so hard, and it's just it's
Speaker 1: you're the perfect comic to go see on a date,
Speaker 1: because there's you never have to worry if she's having
Speaker 1: a good time because there's no time to ever check
Speaker 1: in on, like is she enjoyed because it's just rapid fire.
Speaker 1: It was something about that and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I hate silence. I hate it. I don't want silence
Speaker 1: up there. And I was like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: relate to that so much. He's like some comedians can
Speaker 1: just like take their time, like why would you ever
Speaker 1: do that?
Speaker 2: Like how could you risk that? And I really liked
Speaker 2: hearing something.
Speaker 1: It just feels validated when you hear someone that you
Speaker 1: admire say something that you have felt your whole life.
Speaker 1: And yeah, he's he's just a rapid fire and has yeah,
Speaker 1: tons of puns, but like, yeah, I got I listen
Speaker 1: to it one point five times of speed, which is
Speaker 1: insane because he already talks so fast. But it's so
Speaker 1: good and I'm I'm just doing it bite sized because
Speaker 1: I was getting kind of sleepy at the time I watched,
Speaker 1: and I want to and I want to finish it
Speaker 1: up at some point when I have time.
Speaker 3: In my life, because I can't wait to watch that one.
Speaker 1: And so good. It's so good there the title is yeah,
Speaker 1: and I love he you know he always on Conan.
Speaker 1: He uh, it was the first time I heard him
Speaker 1: do it on TV. But he's you know, at the
Speaker 1: end of his said, he goes, thanks, I'm Kevin Hart.
Speaker 1: It's just like but they introduced him as Kevin Hart
Speaker 1: on this please give it up for Kevin Hart.
Speaker 4: You know you're doing that a long time. I was like,
Speaker 4: I haven't heard this.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 3: There's some comedians who are like really sit in the
Speaker 3: silence and they they usually have a stool that they
Speaker 3: can actually sit. No, thank you, and I and the industry.
Speaker 1: Fucking up these that's the custom spray tan of comedians
Speaker 1: like come on, let's let's speed this up. And they
Speaker 1: do love it. You know why because to do that
Speaker 1: you have to be so fucking confident you have to
Speaker 1: be a narcissist. People love narcissists. They are It would
Speaker 1: be incredible to be one. Honestly, it's a superpower. It
Speaker 1: really is, like I kind of wish I was. And
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about having that narcissistic traits like we
Speaker 1: all diagnose our boyfriends with. This is this is like
Speaker 1: someone who is a pathological just you know, personality disorder.
Speaker 1: They have narcissism, they are a full blown narcissist.
Speaker 3: Is that if at any point anything deduces them, not
Speaker 3: deduces them, degrades them, or points out a flaw in
Speaker 3: any way, they cannot accept that and they will fight
Speaker 3: against that in the extreme. Yes, that's the that's the
Speaker 3: kind of they cannot admit any type of flaw at all,
Speaker 3: and so every time that if they make a mistake,
Speaker 3: they'll gas like you that they didn't do it if
Speaker 3: they if someone points out a flaw, they will just
Speaker 3: decimate them and completely discredit.
Speaker 4: Fascinating they they'll do like a whole special maybe about
Speaker 4: how they're.
Speaker 1: Not if they are deeply I don't know that Chappelle
Speaker 1: is a narcissist, like at that level. I think he
Speaker 1: is narcissistic traits because I think every comedian kind of
Speaker 1: has to to get up there and be like, you
Speaker 1: should listen to what I'm talking.
Speaker 4: Wasn't an original thought. I heard it from one of
Speaker 4: his best friends.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. I mean again, long pauses hours on stage,
Speaker 1: he's he's checking some of the boxes.
Speaker 2: But the thing is, narcissist narciss don't even mind to
Speaker 2: be called narcissists.
Speaker 1: That's kind of my favorite thing about them because they're like,
Speaker 1: there's they see nothing wrong. Why would they wouldn't take
Speaker 1: that as an insult because they don't have anything wrong
Speaker 1: with them, so they're like, that's the way to be.
Speaker 1: And also they're impervious to ever changing. It's the only,
Speaker 1: it's one of the only. I can't say it's the
Speaker 1: only because I don't know everything, but I think I
Speaker 1: do the it's it's impervious to You can't fix a
Speaker 1: narcissist because you have to see a fault in yourself
Speaker 1: to be able to go I want to change, and
Speaker 1: they will not do that.
Speaker 2: So that's fascinating.
Speaker 1: It would be great to be one because they will
Speaker 1: never struggle because they don't admit to themselves. They can't
Speaker 1: even have the I don't think they have any self
Speaker 1: awareness to ever be sad about what they are because
Speaker 1: they're the best. But it does come ultimately subconsciously from
Speaker 1: a deep fear of insecurity and not being enough. But
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter that it does, and that doesn't make
Speaker 1: you feel better if you're dealing with a narcissist to
Speaker 1: know deep down there said because they're not they actually
Speaker 1: don't feel that subconscious thing at all.
Speaker 2: On any level, they are.
Speaker 1: The best, and I just kind of I want to
Speaker 1: be one. I do want to be. There's things I
Speaker 1: want to be, And sometimes I kind of wish I
Speaker 1: was a sociopath or a psycho, or like a narcissist psychopath.
Speaker 2: But I think they're like unhappy.
Speaker 1: They're deeply unhappy.
Speaker 3: Narcissists do kill themselves. They do kill them Yes, it's
Speaker 3: a it's common that a narcissist or a borderline will
Speaker 3: kill themselves because if once the mask breaks down, if
Speaker 3: at any point somehow you get through that mask, and
Speaker 3: all of the tricks and all of the things that
Speaker 3: they do to deflect against introspection don't stop working, and
Speaker 3: if any little tiny flaw comes through, they cannot handle it.
Speaker 3: They get extremely depressed, angry, violent, even and so like
Speaker 3: sometimes like even if it's just like a narcissist gets
Speaker 3: a gray hair and it's like something that can't control,
Speaker 3: and it's just like there's no denying it. Like sometimes
Speaker 3: that that can like eat away at their soul and
Speaker 3: until they, you know, can't take it anymore.
Speaker 4: I don't worry about this narcissist in your life killing themselves,
Speaker 4: because they were all threatening suicide is like, narcissists don't
Speaker 4: commit suicide. They talk about it a lot or threaten
Speaker 4: it a lot, but they don't, but borderlines do. Maybe
Speaker 4: that therapist was wrong, though. I did see him walking
Speaker 4: in the street with a paper cup where he disheveled
Speaker 4: many years later, and I was like, oh uh, I
Speaker 4: think he.
Speaker 2: Did so well in life, therapist.
Speaker 1: I think he will listened the street. He was either
Speaker 1: homeless or very near there, and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I might have had or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: He would always be like, don't bother paying me. I
Speaker 4: don't know how he paid his rent. There were many
Speaker 4: months I saw him and he's like, don't worry about
Speaker 4: paying me. I think he just enjoyed spouting off about stuff. Anyway,
Speaker 4: he said, narcissists don't kill himself. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've read a bunch of I've read like
Speaker 3: every book there is about narcissists and borderline and personality disorders,
Speaker 3: and frequently they say narcissis killed the borderlines killed himselves
Speaker 3: do a lot.
Speaker 4: My guy didn't know what he was talking about.
Speaker 3: Maybe, I mean, maybe it's true. Nobody really knows. I
Speaker 3: just want to disclaim, is that these these all these
Speaker 3: diagnoses and labels. It's like everybody's different. Even if you're
Speaker 3: a narcissist, you might be different than another narcissist. These
Speaker 3: are just general things, although I will say that if
Speaker 3: you're they frequently exhibit the same behaviors, and like, sometimes
Speaker 3: people will be in a relationship with a narcissist or
Speaker 3: borderline and I can predict exactly how they're going to
Speaker 3: act and what they're going to do in almost every situation.
Speaker 3: So I don't know there's something to the diagnosis, but
Speaker 3: it's the.
Speaker 1: First thing you hear from someone that's kind of like
Speaker 1: clueless that they're dating someone with borderline that you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: telltale sign. Like has there been moments where you hear
Speaker 1: something and you're like, I just want to inform you
Speaker 1: this might be the case here, someone who might be
Speaker 1: listening that's like dealing with something that they don't even
Speaker 1: know would be the You just know someone like.
Speaker 3: You just know it in your gut that they are
Speaker 3: lying to you. You just know that they you can't
Speaker 3: trust what they're saying. If they're a borderline, then not
Speaker 3: only can you you just know in your gut that
Speaker 3: they don't actually love you even though that they act
Speaker 3: like it, but but you know that in your gut.
Speaker 3: But also to a borderline versus a narcissis is like
Speaker 3: a borderline will frequently not be able to handle any
Speaker 3: discussion about anything that's wrong with the relationship and have
Speaker 3: outbursts of mania and also anger, and can frequently switch
Speaker 3: from being really amazing to really mean really fast, like
Speaker 3: usually cruel for any human being to be. And you're like,
Speaker 3: I can't believe you just said that to me. And
Speaker 3: then you know, maybe a week later, I either deny
Speaker 3: that they said that. They'll say you took it the
Speaker 3: wrong way, or they will yeah yeah, or they will
Speaker 3: not even remember that they said that. So it's like
Speaker 3: stuff like that, but it's true. But here's how you
Speaker 3: don't get into that. Here's how you don't get into
Speaker 3: that situation. If you get into a relationship and for
Speaker 3: the first month you believe this is too good to
Speaker 3: be true. They're just love bombing you. They're doing everything
Speaker 3: you want, there are no problems. It seems like their
Speaker 3: personality is like meshing absolutely perfectly with your personality. Guess
Speaker 3: what they are doing that on purpose to trick you,
Speaker 3: because they don't have a personality, and all they know
Speaker 3: how to do is to mimic your personality and give
Speaker 3: you exactly what you want so that you accept them.
Speaker 3: And once you accept them into your vulnerable heart, they
Speaker 3: will turn on you because they can't get too close
Speaker 3: to you.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, here's the thing. I got to put
Speaker 1: a little blame on the person that falls for this stuff,
Speaker 1: because and I'm not saying I do. I do everything.
Speaker 1: I do so many things so wrong all the time.
Speaker 1: But if someone loves you really soon, and it's just like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, there's just something about you. I just
Speaker 1: someone who loves you after knowing you for a week.
Speaker 1: Don't you know that they don't know you yet? And
Speaker 1: so they're kind of full of shit. I guess I
Speaker 1: think I'm coming at this from a perspective of I
Speaker 1: don't really love myself, so I'm suspicious of anyone who
Speaker 1: does in the first place, even after knowing me a
Speaker 1: long time. So I think my low self esteem has
Speaker 1: kind of protected me from these kinds of freaks, because
Speaker 1: I have been love bombed at some points in the
Speaker 1: beginning of things with certain guys, and I'm always like,
Speaker 1: where where is this coming from?
Speaker 2: Like how do you have this information?
Speaker 1: We have not spoken enough for you to have formed
Speaker 1: this opinion about me yet. And I'll say because I
Speaker 1: remember one guy just saying like, you're so interesting. I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about you NonStop. I love the way your
Speaker 1: mind works. And I'm like, we've texted and DMed a
Speaker 1: couple times. There's and I go, are you watching a
Speaker 1: special of mine or so? And he's like yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, maybe I can let that slide. But
Speaker 1: then there were things like I can't wait to have
Speaker 1: I remember one guy was the I've told Brian this.
Speaker 1: I was telling the story to some friends of ours,
Speaker 1: but he was the hottest guy. I've one of the
Speaker 1: hottest people I've ever seen in my life. And I
Speaker 1: was like talking to him almost kind of romantically. We're
Speaker 1: feeling it out. And then early on he was like,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to have Sunday snuggles with you. Not
Speaker 1: only does that discuss me on just a I just
Speaker 1: don't want to I don't like calling anything that, But
Speaker 1: I also was like, why do you want to snuggle
Speaker 1: with me already? That's a really intimate thing that you do.
Speaker 1: I can understand wanting to fuck me already. I'll let
Speaker 1: that slide. Like, I'm not gonna be total I'd be
Speaker 1: grossed out by someone saying that, but I understand that
Speaker 1: fucking really doesn't have to be predicated by like an
Speaker 1: intimate connection. But Sunday snuggles.
Speaker 2: Sound like you do, and that sounds like something I have.
Speaker 1: To maybe start that phrase with you as well, Like
Speaker 1: that sounds like something he made up with another girl
Speaker 1: and is just like, oh, every girl knows about Sunday model.
Speaker 1: But I just was like, you don't know me well
Speaker 1: enough to want to snuggle me. We've never even met,
Speaker 1: we never have touched, we've never looked each other in
Speaker 1: each other's eyes in person, So why would you want
Speaker 1: to do this with me?
Speaker 2: And it turned me off so much?
Speaker 4: Wait, but you were down to fuck?
Speaker 1: No, no no. But if he would have said something
Speaker 1: like I can't wait to be in the same room
Speaker 1: as you and like grab you or what like, I
Speaker 1: would have understood, like the sexual desire you can want
Speaker 1: to Men can want to have sex with anyone without
Speaker 1: seeing anything, and so can many women.
Speaker 3: What was it anything?
Speaker 2: Anything?
Speaker 1: Yes? But they but son, I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: And then there was this other guy that was one
Speaker 1: time kind of love bombing me of like you're so
Speaker 1: intriguing and like I just can't get you out of
Speaker 1: my mind. And we had barely talked, and I said
Speaker 1: how many siblings do I have? And he was like what?
Speaker 1: And I was like, if you like you seem to
Speaker 1: know me so well and be so intrigued, do you
Speaker 1: wanna do you know how many siblings I have? And
Speaker 1: he was like, I have no idea, And I was like,
Speaker 1: I think you need to know that before you're like
Speaker 1: desperately yearning for me in this intellectual way or like
Speaker 1: you're talking about like you know me really well, you
Speaker 1: don't know even the most banal thing. And then I
Speaker 1: like the dad on.
Speaker 4: Love is Blind season whatever when they were in Seattle,
Speaker 4: Remember what's her Name's? Dad was like, how many siblings
Speaker 4: does she have? Or that's a great question to know
Speaker 4: if someone knows you. It's just a that's a first
Speaker 4: date question that should get out of the way, and
Speaker 4: not that you should retain that information on the first date.
Speaker 4: Maybe you'll need refreshers. I even with my friends, need
Speaker 4: to be like.
Speaker 2: How many what sibling are you?
Speaker 1: Like it's it's fine, but someone professing how much they're
Speaker 1: into you and how much they're ready to like move forward.
Speaker 1: They should know that already, like they should want to
Speaker 1: know those things about you. So anyway, he was like, whoa,
Speaker 1: you just schooled me. He was like, you're so right,
Speaker 1: that's so good. I'm going to put that in this
Speaker 1: script I have because I'm writing about this narcissist who
Speaker 1: all he does is talk about himself, and I needed
Speaker 1: some turning point where he's revealed to be one. And
Speaker 1: I think it's great if the other character says how
Speaker 1: many siblings do I have? And I go, wait, okay,
Speaker 1: you still don't know how stublings I have? And you
Speaker 1: just took my idea it made your own, And it
Speaker 1: was like it that just like, is there any have
Speaker 1: you guys been love bombed early on? And will you
Speaker 1: tell me the other side of it where you don't
Speaker 1: really care if he knows that stuff about you? Or
Speaker 1: maybe they're just so good at acting like they this
Speaker 1: is the first time it's happened to them, and they
Speaker 1: it's love at first sight.
Speaker 2: I mean there's arguments for that as well.
Speaker 1: I mean, I kind of believe in love at first sight,
Speaker 1: so why wouldn't I believe in the idea of someone
Speaker 1: loving me immediately.
Speaker 4: Well, I'll speak for an early experience. I got to
Speaker 4: San Diego. I didn't know anybody. I was a new
Speaker 4: DJ on the radio there. I was twenty five, so
Speaker 4: I really had no friends. And then I met this
Speaker 4: guy and he was just like he said kind of
Speaker 4: all the right shit, like right away. Like And it's
Speaker 4: the same thing with people in cults, like how to
Speaker 4: intelligent self aware people fall into a cult like so
Speaker 4: many It's not like everybody is a ding dong no,
Speaker 4: but it's usually you're in a vulnerable point in your life.
Speaker 4: It's not like your personality is like the type that
Speaker 4: would get into a cult. It's usually a finite moment
Speaker 4: in your life that you're either alone, changing jobs, or
Speaker 4: in some transitional period. Maybe you're you just had a
Speaker 4: breakup or whatever somebody died and you're kind of longing
Speaker 4: for something or searching for something. I think I wanted
Speaker 4: connection and friends, and this guy was like, whoa, you
Speaker 4: are fine, and which I didn't like at all. But
Speaker 4: then he was like, I'm gonna like I want to
Speaker 4: be I want to like marry you, and I'm such
Speaker 4: a like a romantic that I was like, whoa, maybe
Speaker 4: this is it.
Speaker 2: This is the guy I'm not I'm not opposed to that. Actually,
Speaker 2: uh so I guess first.
Speaker 4: Meeting, so I'm being like, I'm going to marry you.
Speaker 1: Like just because you hear of the story, because I'm
Speaker 1: a romantic too, and you hear the stories of guys
Speaker 1: being like calling their mom being like I met the
Speaker 1: girl I'm gonna mary tonight, and then it is yes,
Speaker 1: little do you know that guy says it about every
Speaker 1: single woman he meets, so it's abound to happen once
Speaker 1: and the story will pay off, you know.
Speaker 4: No, they're red flag, like Brian was listing, when they
Speaker 4: want to hang out with you every day, male or female,
Speaker 4: heterosexual you know not or same sex friends whatever. If
Speaker 4: someone wants to hang out with you every single day,
Speaker 4: they say, it's a red flag.
Speaker 1: That was me with you in the beginning.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but we had dinner every night for like four
Speaker 4: nights in a row and it wasn't more.
Speaker 1: Me too.
Speaker 2: It's like Vulder positions.
Speaker 3: Well, well, you can love mom and friendships also, but
Speaker 3: like the key, the key is you didn't at some
Speaker 3: random point just turn on Anya and start decimating her
Speaker 3: entire being being as cruel as humanly possible to destroy her.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I've had that with female friends. One developed
Speaker 4: borderline personality as a result of very hard times and
Speaker 4: drug addiction, and she was diagnosed with that later. I
Speaker 4: don't think you have to be born with it. I
Speaker 4: might be wrong. And then the other female friend, I
Speaker 4: just didn't know that well and we I think I
Speaker 4: was in another I'd just gotten out of a breakup,
Speaker 4: and she was like, very knowledgeable about stuff, much older
Speaker 4: than me, kind of took me under her wing. I
Speaker 4: had always thought she was very like fascinating, almost like
Speaker 4: the Oprah of this one friend community I had. And then, yeah,
Speaker 4: she exploded on me one day in such a rage.
Speaker 4: But thank god I had sort of what you were
Speaker 4: talking about, Nikki, like this baseline value system that was
Speaker 4: like I'm not no, no, no, no no, Like this
Speaker 4: isn't a match for me.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 4: It was just like you with the guy being like
Speaker 4: I want to be with you, but he doesn't know
Speaker 4: your siblings name. I was just like, you don't talk
Speaker 4: to me, like no one talks to me like this,
Speaker 4: Like I don't have out, I don't have drama on
Speaker 4: the street like she did it on the street and
Speaker 4: was like, yeah, controlling and it was insane.
Speaker 1: Brian, You've read the books. Why do they snap like this?
Speaker 1: Is it because of there's like you said, there's something
Speaker 1: that happens that they can't control and it breaks their
Speaker 1: oh psyche or what They're always trying to get something?
Speaker 1: What are you going to get out of screaming at
Speaker 1: someone on the street. Why do they snap like? Is
Speaker 1: this a It's going against what they want, which is
Speaker 1: like survival and to like feed off of people.
Speaker 2: It often pushes people away. What would be why do
Speaker 2: they do that?
Speaker 3: It depends on the situation. So if like you're a
Speaker 3: borderline in a relationship and then you spend the first
Speaker 3: several months or even maybe up to like a year,
Speaker 3: I mean, I can't imagine having a year of love
Speaker 3: bombing and then having it turned. But they'll be love
Speaker 3: bombing you and love bombing you and love bombing you,
Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden, the borderline will feel
Speaker 3: like they are too close to you and they can't
Speaker 3: be too close. But they also don't want to be
Speaker 3: too far away, so they love bomb ube to get
Speaker 3: in there. They really want to get in there because
Speaker 3: being far away is bad for them, and they don't
Speaker 3: want to be alone, that's for sure. And then if
Speaker 3: they get too close, they all of a sudden get
Speaker 3: anxiety about being too close and they need to do
Speaker 3: something to push you away. So that's when they'll turn
Speaker 3: on you. It's black and white thinking where they'll just
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, you go from I love you
Speaker 3: so much to you're the devil and I hate you
Speaker 3: because there's something about being that close that's scary, because
Speaker 3: I mean, if you want to get into like their
Speaker 3: childhood trauma or whatever, it's because when they.
Speaker 2: Have borderlines are made from trauma.
Speaker 3: I don't know exactly, but it's definitely you know, some
Speaker 3: people say that, Like some people say that like they
Speaker 3: don't nobody knows why. But some people says, yeah, it's
Speaker 3: like bunyans.
Speaker 1: People say it's hereditary, and I think it's it's always
Speaker 1: caused by shoes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Like some people say, like you can become
Speaker 3: a narcissistic because you were held too much as a baby,
Speaker 3: or you can become a borderline or because you were
Speaker 3: because you weren't held enough as a baby. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: just like but.
Speaker 6: It sounds like they're both anxious and avoidant attached.
Speaker 3: Yeah soople So people with borderline have dealt with every
Speaker 3: time they get close or have a close relationship, they
Speaker 3: get hurt, and their whole existence is to avoid that pain.
Speaker 3: At the same time, they probably felt like they didn't
Speaker 3: get enough love from people they cared about, like their parents,
Speaker 3: and so they that's why they love bomb is because
Speaker 3: they try to become the perfect person that will receive
Speaker 3: this love. But then they get scared because they're like, well,
Speaker 3: now that I have this love, I'm afraid that I'm
Speaker 3: going to get hurt and damage, so I'm gonna push
Speaker 3: you away. So then they turn on you, because the
Speaker 3: best way to protect yourself from love is to convince
Speaker 3: yourself I don't love this person anymore. Fact, that person's
Speaker 3: a fucking devil who I hate, who stinks like shit.
Speaker 3: I would never want to have sex within the rest
Speaker 3: of my life. In fact, if this person died, I'd
Speaker 3: be happy. Like that's literally what they convinced themselves.
Speaker 2: They have traces of this.
Speaker 1: I think I don't ever blow up at the person,
Speaker 1: but privately, I when I am, but when I feel
Speaker 1: anger towards someone, it turns into like I want to
Speaker 1: cut it off. I hate them, like I can go
Speaker 1: to hate so fast, and I always talk myself out
Speaker 1: of it, and luckily I don't ever say it to
Speaker 1: the person because I'm too scared of I always thinking
Speaker 1: ahead and going like what if I regret this? So
Speaker 1: I never actually put into action these might be like,
Speaker 1: but I do have intense like I fucking hate them.
Speaker 2: I never want to see them again. They're discussed.
Speaker 1: I say the meanest shit about oh not good guys,
Speaker 1: like about you know, people who are still in my life,
Speaker 1: and I've said things about the that if they knew
Speaker 1: that I said that or thought that I'd be gone,
Speaker 1: but I didn't really think that.
Speaker 2: It was just like my brain got hijacked.
Speaker 1: What do I do?
Speaker 2: Like should I feel bad about it? I can't stop it?
Speaker 3: You're you are you have traits, but you're you're like
Speaker 3: not You're like right outside the door of a personality disorder,
Speaker 3: but you don't have one because you're knocking on the door,
Speaker 3: and like you know, obviously part of having one, it's
Speaker 3: fun to have one, because you it's like you're a
Speaker 3: fuck when you if you get into a relationship with
Speaker 3: someone with a personality disorder and you're in one for
Speaker 3: a really long time. You get what they call fleas,
Speaker 3: which is you start to adapt the traits of someone
Speaker 3: with the personality disorder. And I did that after I
Speaker 3: got out of a relationship with a borderline, and I
Speaker 3: was a fuck. That was part of why I was
Speaker 3: I got so good at dating was because like I
Speaker 3: just I just knew all I could do all the
Speaker 3: tricks that the borderline did.
Speaker 4: But like this is so true.
Speaker 3: You may have fleas, Please, you might have fleas, but
Speaker 3: I don't think you have a personal disorder, because you're
Speaker 3: far too empathetic and introspective. Like those two things do
Speaker 3: not combine with Borderlines will go to therapy, but they
Speaker 3: won't change. They'll go to therapy just to affirm and
Speaker 3: to build themselves up. I don't think. I mean, yes, Look,
Speaker 3: I want to just clarify I'm speaking about borderlines right now,
Speaker 3: like they're animals, and they're not animals. There are plenty
Speaker 3: of borderlines who have been to therapy and are willing
Speaker 3: to change. And I know borderlines who like are are
Speaker 3: absolutely amazing people. But in order to do that, you
Speaker 3: need to go to therapy. You need to accept therapy.
Speaker 3: You need to be like diagnosed as a borderline and
Speaker 3: then to change and then do basically right neurolinguistic programming.
Speaker 3: You need to you need to look at you need
Speaker 3: to do behavioral cognitive therapy where you go like, okay,
Speaker 3: every thing am I being is telling me that I
Speaker 3: should turn on this person and hate them, And then
Speaker 3: you need to train yourself to be like that's not right,
Speaker 3: even though that's exactly what I want to do. I
Speaker 3: need I need to know that that's not how like
Speaker 3: a standard brain works or how it or a good thing,
Speaker 3: and fight against that until eventually you can train your
Speaker 3: brain to not be borderline anymore. And I've seen I've
Speaker 3: seen it happen.
Speaker 1: Where it's like people can pick it up. You could
Speaker 1: probably drop it off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can drop it out if it's much harder
Speaker 3: if you were born with this, and like it's a
Speaker 3: trauma that is intrinsic into your the core of your
Speaker 3: like brain stem that like that's really hard, but it's possible.
Speaker 3: And just because you're diagnosed with borderline does not mean
Speaker 3: you can't change.
Speaker 1: And can I say something ameliorate those things? I love
Speaker 1: the word amelia or it's a beautiful thing for a
Speaker 1: little mora and my daughter that yeah. By the way,
Speaker 1: can I.
Speaker 4: Also just quickly say I had a song in this
Speaker 4: film called Borderline the film and it's an excellent docum
Speaker 4: menory directed by Rebby Rattner, and you you should check
Speaker 4: it out. It's really really good.
Speaker 1: Border Way, why did you say that name?
Speaker 2: Like anyone would know how to spell it?
Speaker 1: Rebby?
Speaker 4: Rebby?
Speaker 1: How do you spell that?
Speaker 4: Uh Ari?
Speaker 1: Bb I E?
Speaker 4: I think all right, anyway, it's it's good and it
Speaker 4: follows a borderline around or a couple of them, and
Speaker 4: it's so interesting in their therapy sessions and everything, so
Speaker 4: you can learn more about oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is all like so fascinating.
Speaker 1: What I was gleaming onto about what Brian was saying
Speaker 1: is that you have to want to change, or that
Speaker 1: you have to be like I don't want to be
Speaker 1: this way anymore I was listening to. I'll just say
Speaker 1: this vaguely if anyone wants to bite about someone saying
Speaker 1: recently in my life that they notice things about themselves,
Speaker 1: like their behavior. I don't relate to feeling out of
Speaker 1: control with the way I'm reacting to something, I guess,
Speaker 1: and you might be like, yes, you do Nikey all
Speaker 1: the so maybe enlighten me if I'm if I'm wrong
Speaker 1: about this, I've never felt frustrated like I hate the
Speaker 1: way I am and the things I like and the
Speaker 1: things I don't like and the level of talent I
Speaker 1: have I fucking hate and I wish all the time
Speaker 1: I could be different in that way, Like I wish
Speaker 1: I liked hiking, I wish I liked I wish I
Speaker 1: worked harder, like all those things. But I'm never like,
Speaker 1: I'm so mad that I cried about this thing. I'm
Speaker 1: so And yes I've said before like I wish I
Speaker 1: could cry more, but it's I've never been mad at
Speaker 1: my like the way I react to something, And I
Speaker 1: feel like I've heard people say they're upset about the
Speaker 1: way that they react and they're like, wish they could
Speaker 1: react better, And I want to understand that. And is
Speaker 1: that a narcissis of me to never question the way
Speaker 1: I act? Like sometimes I'm like, oh, that was a
Speaker 1: little embarrassing, but I'm not, like, I'm never so insanely
Speaker 1: frustrated by the way I've reacted.
Speaker 3: So potentially maybe you are. You could just be an
Speaker 3: extremely high functioning narcissist who has learned how to do
Speaker 3: certain things to make people believe that you're not so like.
Speaker 3: I don't think this is true, but it could be
Speaker 3: that your empathy is not real. It's not real, that
Speaker 3: your empathy is behavioral meat and cheese at night or no,
Speaker 3: or you're just like I learned that I can get
Speaker 3: away with certain things if that I then follow it
Speaker 3: up with extreme empathy. Or I learned that as long
Speaker 3: as I mimic someone who's introspective, then people won't believe
Speaker 3: that I have personality.
Speaker 1: That's what a narcissist would say. It's like, let's change
Speaker 1: the subject. No, that doesn't anything like me.
Speaker 6: I think what you're saying is is consistent with like.
Speaker 6: You let people off the hook, and then you are
Speaker 6: also really good at letting yourself off the hook. So
Speaker 6: I think it's just you you.
Speaker 1: Practice what you preach. Maybe that's it of I'm just
Speaker 1: never embarrassed by my like outbursts.
Speaker 2: Really, it's it's rare that.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's been there's been times, but I just
Speaker 1: like it already happens, So what am I gonna do?
Speaker 1: It's more about the things I don't do that I
Speaker 1: am filled with regret and hatred for myself is all
Speaker 1: the things I don't say, and the things I and
Speaker 1: just the things that I don't have, like im I
Speaker 1: more have, Like I'm more fretting about that. But I've
Speaker 1: heard even like you guys speak to the fact that like,
Speaker 1: why do I let this thing derail me? Or something like,
Speaker 1: I guess I never and I let things derail me
Speaker 1: all the time, but I'm never like, what can I
Speaker 1: do to not let this derail me? I feel inherently
Speaker 1: I'm right to be derailed. I am right to hate
Speaker 1: that I don't have enough talent that Taylor Swift has.
Speaker 1: Why why wouldn't I be a little upset and angry
Speaker 1: that I did not get the lottery in that way
Speaker 1: that she got the lottery? You know, Like, and I
Speaker 1: know that's stupid because most people are not going to
Speaker 1: hit the lottery. Why spend your whole life being mad
Speaker 1: about it? But I know I'm right to be a
Speaker 1: little bit jealous that someone else scot this thing that
Speaker 1: makes your life so much easier in my mind, so
Speaker 1: I'm never like, why do I I'm mad? I feel
Speaker 1: that way, and when I tried it, when people try
Speaker 1: to fix that about me, like except who you are.
Speaker 1: It's it's going in one ear and out the other,
Speaker 1: because I know that I'm right to feel short changed
Speaker 1: in many ways. And I know that you're supposed to
Speaker 1: focus on what you have and maybe compare yourself to
Speaker 1: people who don't have those things, and that's supposed to
Speaker 1: make you feel better. And I do that as well,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't change the fact that I also compare
Speaker 1: myself to people who just have better bone structure than me,
Speaker 1: or a better voice or you know whatever can hold
Speaker 1: a pick properly and strum, which I'll never be able
Speaker 1: to do relate to.
Speaker 4: I know that I'm right, What do you mean?
Speaker 1: I know that I'm correct in feeling angry that I
Speaker 1: wasn't born prettier or whatever it is I'm upset about
Speaker 1: that day. I know it's stupid. I know that I
Speaker 1: know that I'm prettier than other people, and people could
Speaker 1: be envious of me because or it could be foolish,
Speaker 1: but it's also but it is correct because I want
Speaker 1: something and they have it, So why wouldn't I be
Speaker 1: correct in being jealous of that?
Speaker 4: I don't get that at all at all, really at all.
Speaker 4: It's like it doesn't compute, like, how can something be
Speaker 4: foolish and correct? Like it cannot be both.
Speaker 1: I think it can, like I can feel ridiculous that
Speaker 1: this is my feeling, or I can feel like I
Speaker 1: know this isn't it's you know, not foolish embarrassing to admit,
Speaker 1: I guess because I have so many riches and I
Speaker 1: was born with so much privilege and all of these things.
Speaker 1: So it feels foolish in that way. But it is
Speaker 1: also correct that there are people that have it way
Speaker 1: better off than me and I should be jealous of them.
Speaker 4: That is not true. Okay, it is just an opinion
Speaker 4: but not a fact.
Speaker 1: But you gets a fact.
Speaker 2: See, this is the difference. It is a hundred percent fact.
Speaker 4: It's not a fact. It cannot be proven as a fact,
Speaker 4: can it?
Speaker 1: What can't be that I'm not the guitar and someone
Speaker 1: else's more affinity for it, and that I am frustrated by.
Speaker 4: That that one should be envious of another.
Speaker 1: I think it is if I want to be a
Speaker 1: great guitar player, and that is my biggest goal for
Speaker 1: myself ever, is to be able to like strum efficiently,
Speaker 1: and I do not have the ability to do that
Speaker 1: no matter how much I practice, it doesn't get better.
Speaker 1: And there are people that just have naturally never struggled
Speaker 1: with strumming. It is a fact that I should be
Speaker 1: envious of them. No, it's not because it's something I
Speaker 1: want on you. No, it's it's it's just you're a feeling.
Speaker 4: You just have this opinion, but it is.
Speaker 3: You have to.
Speaker 6: Compare it backwards also, because there are people who are
Speaker 6: worse than you, who can't even play as good as
Speaker 6: you play, right.
Speaker 1: And I and yes, I can feel grateful for that,
Speaker 1: but I also at the same time I can still
Speaker 1: be pissed off that I don't have this thing and
Speaker 1: I am one hundred per sent entitled to that. And
Speaker 1: no one.
Speaker 4: Feeling is valid. Yes, you're feeling as valid, But saying
Speaker 4: that one should feel a certain way and that is
Speaker 4: a fact is preposterous.
Speaker 2: I guess the word should is the key phrase.
Speaker 4: Yes, there are no should.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if you're doing the math.
Speaker 1: This person wants this thing, this other person has this thing,
Speaker 1: Therefore that person should feel envious of that person.
Speaker 4: Wow, that person's envy makes sense.
Speaker 1: I should go to break And let's not keep talking
Speaker 1: about this because we're not going to come to an
Speaker 1: understanding because I know I'm right, because I'm probably a
Speaker 1: closet narcissist. Yeah, I wish.
Speaker 2: All right, we're back, Let's get to Reddit dump. Let's
Speaker 2: do a segment.
Speaker 3: Can I just say before that that that that conversation
Speaker 3: was slightly triggering because that I don't want to say
Speaker 3: slightly triggering, never mind.
Speaker 2: I actually like it activating.
Speaker 1: That's on my.
Speaker 3: Because a thing that I fought with my one of
Speaker 3: my exes, the thing that I fought with her about
Speaker 3: all the time was the fact that just because you
Speaker 3: feel a certain way doesn't mean that that doesn't change reality.
Speaker 3: You know, like yes, and that's that's a sign of
Speaker 3: borderlines that they always say. Every borderline, and I don't
Speaker 3: care who you are, every borderline will say this phrase,
Speaker 3: I feel things more intensely than the normal person. And
Speaker 3: because of that, frequently that causes problems because they they
Speaker 3: do feel this thing, but that doesn't mean it's connected
Speaker 3: to anything that actually happened or any sort of reality
Speaker 3: that's occurring. And so but then what do you do
Speaker 3: with it?
Speaker 1: Because my biggest thing is that people are always like
Speaker 1: you gotta like validate your feelings and my whole childhood
Speaker 1: was no offense, Mom and dad, if you're listening, but
Speaker 1: my feelings did not get heard in the way that
Speaker 1: I needed that I heard because I had a lot
Speaker 1: of feelings as a child. There is the things I've
Speaker 1: come I've paid thousands of dollars to have this diagnosed.
Speaker 1: So it's true, Mom and Dad, I did not have
Speaker 1: my feelings met. I was. If I cried about something,
Speaker 1: it was like, come off it, what are you crying about?
Speaker 1: Or if I was angry about something, you this is
Speaker 1: too much. You are being ridiculous. So now I am
Speaker 1: been told by therapists, honor your feelings. Your feelings are valid,
Speaker 1: your feelings are real. So now I'm all fucked up
Speaker 1: because now I'm trying this is making so much sense
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 6: Now, So you you just like being like or feeling
Speaker 6: justified in the way that you feel is how you
Speaker 6: are protecting yourself.
Speaker 1: How you're protecting like the child is not heard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because like I'm the only one who can believe it.
Speaker 1: So I only have me to trust that this is
Speaker 1: real anger or real sadness, because no one else will
Speaker 1: or I didn't have a course of people saying, oh wow,
Speaker 1: that is sad because it never rarely was whatever I
Speaker 1: was crying about and not a reason enough to cry
Speaker 1: about it. Even into adulthood, I cry about things and
Speaker 1: was met with what are you crying about? You shouldn't
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have these emotions, so you have to self soothe, right,
Speaker 1: like you were, like double down on, like, yes it is,
Speaker 1: it is real and I'm the only one who believes
Speaker 1: and it does. I don't need your validation because that's
Speaker 1: the only way that I'm going to even be able
Speaker 1: to process this because otherwise I'll trust you and push
Speaker 1: it down.
Speaker 5: Still, right, it has to be, and that's really really
Speaker 5: healthy to validate your feelings and be like, this is
Speaker 5: totally valid no matter how I feel envy, jealousy, anger, rage, sadness.
Speaker 4: This is a this is a real feeling.
Speaker 1: How is that different than saying I should feel.
Speaker 4: This way, because it's like should take that word out
Speaker 4: of the Vokay, it's just not helpful. So when this
Speaker 4: this validation thing goes too far, you know, he talks
Speaker 4: about any.
Speaker 1: Following instructions I'm doing but a normal human would do so,
Speaker 1: which is something I struggle with, is like I'm different,
Speaker 1: so if I say the word should.
Speaker 2: It validates to me that I'm not crazy.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's change should to makes perfect sense. Should is
Speaker 4: take an action, Nikki, you need to take an act
Speaker 4: you need or like you should is like God in
Speaker 4: the air with his finger to be, like, you should
Speaker 4: be jealous to be a good person, Like you should
Speaker 4: be envious, and it's just not helpful to be envious
Speaker 4: all the time, like comparison is the thief of joy,
Speaker 4: right Shakespeare said it, or something so like, hey, mommy,
Speaker 4: I feel really envious of Sally because she has more
Speaker 4: money than I have and we're poor. You should feel
Speaker 4: envious because wealth is something we all aspire to. That's
Speaker 4: not helpful. But like, oh, I totally get while you're envious. Yeah,
Speaker 4: Sally does seem to have a lot of stuff, but
Speaker 4: you know what we have. Sally's dad left them and
Speaker 4: they're divorced, and Sally's mom is miserable. But we have
Speaker 4: quite a happy family here, and we have a dog,
Speaker 4: like you know what I mean, she's it's like validate
Speaker 4: the child's feelings, like, but do not tell them you
Speaker 4: should be envious, in fact, because then you're going to
Speaker 4: spend your whole fuck you should spend your whole life
Speaker 4: being envious. When you grow up, you're going to see
Speaker 4: supermodels that are really skinny. You should want to be
Speaker 4: skinny like them too.
Speaker 1: You should have that.
Speaker 3: That is a key difference is that you need to
Speaker 3: You want your feelings validated so that you're not gas lit,
Speaker 3: so that you're like, I am feeling this way. You
Speaker 3: don't want people to say like, you're not feeling this
Speaker 3: way or it's wrong to feel this way. You want
Speaker 3: someone to say, well, I understand how you could feel
Speaker 3: this way, so that your feelings are validated. But the
Speaker 3: key difference between just validation and what like a borderline
Speaker 3: does is just because you feel a certain way does
Speaker 3: not mean that that justifies actions you might take based
Speaker 3: on those feelings. Those feelings, those feelings might guide you.
Speaker 3: You might feel angry at somebody and it's like, I
Speaker 3: understand why you feel angry, but that doesn't mean that
Speaker 3: what they did actually is just it actually should anger you.
Speaker 3: It's not a should, right.
Speaker 7: It just reminded me of this joke I was listening
Speaker 7: to I'm Like on a Luis K tear right now,
Speaker 7: and I think that my favorite joke ever written because
Speaker 7: is just the perfect mixture of dark and also a
Speaker 7: great idea and like you just can't help but laugh
Speaker 7: about it.
Speaker 1: Is that if murder were legal, like you, everyone would
Speaker 1: do it. It would be happening all of the time. The
Speaker 1: only reason it's not happening is because it's not legal.
Speaker 1: And if people didn't murder, if the murder were legal,
Speaker 1: and there you met someone that was like, I've just
Speaker 1: never murdered anyone, you'd go like, oh God, I don't
Speaker 1: want to hang out with that person. And he was
Speaker 1: like most of the people being murdered would be children.
Speaker 1: By the way, people would just be killing their children constantly.
Speaker 1: It would be a problem. They would be like, we
Speaker 1: have to start cleaning up. If you murder your kid,
Speaker 1: you have to clean up your murdered kid. So funny,
Speaker 1: but it was just about like that feeling like it
Speaker 1: reminded me of like you should take action, and and yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that's the That's the other hurdle that I
Speaker 1: come to is that when I'm feeling something I wanna
Speaker 1: feelings aren't enough, then that's ridiculous. Then feelings, if you're
Speaker 1: not gonna do something with them, then they are stupid,
Speaker 1: Like and then you're just being placated, like oh you Oh,
Speaker 1: it's understandable you feel this way, but you're kind of
Speaker 1: rolling your eyes like Jesus Christ, she's fucking losing her
Speaker 1: mind about this doll whose hair isn't straight or whatever
Speaker 1: I used to cry about as a kid, Like there's
Speaker 1: still that, like, oh, Nikki, that's so sad, but like
Speaker 1: looking at each other like what the fuck is wrong
Speaker 1: with our child? EJ Like I would catch those glances,
Speaker 1: and that I think is where you're talk where now
Speaker 1: I'm getting activated because you're like, it doesn't your action
Speaker 1: should not. You didn't. You don't get to act on it,
Speaker 1: and I want to act on it. I e sob
Speaker 1: wild and hurl my body around a van, a moving van,
Speaker 1: because it's nothing. He doesn't have.
Speaker 4: Streaming about it. You should. Like the other day, we
Speaker 4: had a friend is very angry and she took Nikki's
Speaker 4: advice and listened to a Taylor Swift song and really
Speaker 4: loud and raged in her car and screamed to the song.
Speaker 4: And it was really cathartic for her. She didn't hurt anybody,
Speaker 4: she didn't yell at anybody, she didn't fire off.
Speaker 1: Any and this is why we can't have nice things.
Speaker 4: And that's a healthy use of anger. Like she got
Speaker 4: her feelings validated by all of us on the Girls Chat,
Speaker 4: and then she was able to express it in a
Speaker 4: healthy way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, because you don't have control.
Speaker 4: Murder three people and throw them into a bog.
Speaker 3: You don't have control over your feelings. Your feelings just
Speaker 3: come up from your subconscious and so you can't say
Speaker 3: that someone feeling something is wrong or right, or that
Speaker 3: you should or shouldn't feel a certain way. You don't
Speaker 3: have any control over it. They just come. But like,
Speaker 3: imagine a scenario where you're driving your car and then
Speaker 3: someone cuts you off and then you feel so angry
Speaker 3: that you want to kill the other person. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: can't just go kill the other person because you feel angry.
Speaker 1: That was how Louie got into this. Betty's like, when
Speaker 1: I'm driving, it's the worst person I've ever I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: fucking kill you. And it's like why because you had
Speaker 1: to go, Like you had to push on the brake
Speaker 1: for two seconds? Yeah, Like why does it elicit? And
Speaker 1: we're all driving these weapons around other weapons, It should
Speaker 1: be the time that we're most compassionate why does this
Speaker 1: time bring out the worst in us?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you shouldn't be able to kill someone.
Speaker 1: I get that.
Speaker 3: Your emotions, even though they feel real, and even if
Speaker 3: you feel them more than others, they do not justify
Speaker 3: your actions.
Speaker 4: Now it makes sense, you Pie, You say this phrase
Speaker 4: a lot. I know I'm right. You say I know
Speaker 4: I'm right a lot, Like I know I'm right about
Speaker 4: Matchboks twenty And if you, guys, if anyone comes at
Speaker 4: me about Matchboks twenty, try I You're just wrong, or
Speaker 4: like Swift, I know I'm right, yeah, And like I
Speaker 4: know I'm right to feel whatever we were talking about earlier,
Speaker 4: Like I know I'm right to be Yeah. And that's
Speaker 4: because what you just revealed today, which was so interesting,
Speaker 4: that you did not have your little childhood feelings validated,
Speaker 4: truly validated. So this is your adult way of being,
Speaker 4: Like I'm not crazy, and I.
Speaker 3: Am like the reason you're a comedian self parenting, I
Speaker 3: mean you.
Speaker 1: Self preservation, and say, I'm not that's the thing I'm
Speaker 1: I'm like having a narcissist time where it's like you
Speaker 1: can say I'm wrong all you want, and I'm just
Speaker 1: like poor Anya, doesn't.
Speaker 4: You've helped me with this before, Like I have I
Speaker 4: have bad trauma around cheating, and it's like I have
Speaker 4: these very valid feelings sometimes that are really painful, that
Speaker 4: are like I'm afraid of being betrayed, or I'm afraid
Speaker 4: of being cheated on, or I'm like jealous, envious of
Speaker 4: jealous of somebody, and and I just have to like
Speaker 4: be super gentle with myself and be like, those are
Speaker 4: really valid feelings. If I go to a place of
Speaker 4: like you're fucking nuts, get over this, like just be
Speaker 4: a cool girl, stop with this, it doesn't do anything,
Speaker 4: like it just makes it worse. But if I can
Speaker 4: just be like, wow, you had a lot of trauma,
Speaker 4: so much trauma around this, and it was not fair
Speaker 4: and it was not cool, that helps to just be like, oh,
Speaker 4: there's a lot in me that like needs healing and
Speaker 4: I need to be patient with that part of me.
Speaker 4: But then with the action that it's not like and
Speaker 4: I'm right to feel this because all men are fucking cheaters.
Speaker 4: That's where I want to go with it. There's a
Speaker 4: part of me that wants to go there, like and
Speaker 4: I know I'm fucking right because I have all this evidence.
Speaker 4: So I am right, that all men will cheat and
Speaker 4: you and like all this shit, But it's like, no,
Speaker 4: the more mature your conclusion is deal with your feelings.
Speaker 4: They are valid, but deal with them in a healthy way. No,
Speaker 4: try to trust trustworthy people. They are out there, you know,
Speaker 4: choose healthy relationships, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I relate to that black and white thinking of
Speaker 1: like they're all like, I'm like every woman that is
Speaker 1: regarded as the hottest woman is thin and has great
Speaker 1: bone structure and her skin isn't sagging off her face
Speaker 1: in the ways mine is. So I literally am horrific
Speaker 1: and should probably kill myself because what's the point if
Speaker 1: that's all you should aspire to be, Like, that's where
Speaker 1: my mind goes, to just kill yourself if you just
Speaker 1: can't be the best, or if you know in the
Speaker 1: lens that you're saying it. If I felt the way
Speaker 1: about cheating, I'd be like, you're never going to find
Speaker 1: a man who is All men cheat. All men want
Speaker 1: to cheat, even if they don't cheat, they want to,
Speaker 1: and even that bothers me. So I'll just never fucking
Speaker 1: ever trust a man. Right, But there's always exceptions. There
Speaker 1: are people that find other like, And my point it
Speaker 1: always is with like. People are like, but there are
Speaker 1: men who are attracted to other things. I'm like, but
Speaker 1: they'd rather have something else. And I never want to
Speaker 1: be an exception because the guy's like, well, I can't
Speaker 1: get Emily Radiszowski, so I guess I'll settle on Nicki Glazer. Like,
Speaker 1: if you want someone else more than me, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be with you. I want to be the
Speaker 1: number one thing you could ever imagine achieving in your life.
Speaker 1: And there's no one better than me, which is insane
Speaker 1: because there's always going to be someone more attractive than you,
Speaker 1: especially as we age.
Speaker 4: Dude, final thought, Yeah, the word you just said you
Speaker 4: have to discuss with your therapist because that is so telling.
Speaker 4: You said achieve. Yes, you said achieve about Nicki Glazer,
Speaker 4: a guy saying I'm going to achieve Nicki Gaz.
Speaker 1: I want to be That's why I don't mind if
Speaker 1: my boyfriend is attracted to other women or is intimate
Speaker 1: with other women, because if he stays with me, I
Speaker 1: I'm constantly proving to myself that I am the best
Speaker 1: and that he hasn't left me for her yet, so
Speaker 1: like he can go sample other cakes, but I'm the
Speaker 1: one he's eaten late at night, Like I'm the one
Speaker 1: he's taking home.
Speaker 2: True constantly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't does other stuff because it's like
Speaker 1: that's just stuff to see if he wants it. But
Speaker 1: guess what, he doesn't. And I keep getting validated. That's
Speaker 1: why I like that. It keeps validating that I am
Speaker 1: number one, whereas if we go through Like I did
Speaker 1: a joke last night on stage that was like I'm
Speaker 1: going to been in a ten year relationship pretty much,
Speaker 1: you know, And I was just talking about how like
Speaker 1: age has affected my body, especially like my vagina and stuff,
Speaker 1: and like things that just don't look the same lately
Speaker 1: and they don't feel the same, and it's Annie gave
Speaker 1: me the line of it's getting jowels and it's getting
Speaker 1: jowy down there, and it's starting to look like my
Speaker 1: grandma in the final years of her life, like my
Speaker 1: vagina at thirty nine. So it's true, it like reminds
Speaker 1: me of me me, and I miss her every time
Speaker 1: I look down. But I was saying, like, if something
Speaker 1: happened with me and Chris, I am now like uh oh,
Speaker 1: Like I looked at my vagina and go. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: want someone new to see this. He doesn't notice because
Speaker 1: it's been over time. But there's no way I could
Speaker 1: present this right now the way it is without getting
Speaker 1: some kind of my mind goes. If Chris breaks up
Speaker 1: with me, I have to get vaginal surgery because I
Speaker 1: can't have someone new see this. So I need Chris
Speaker 1: to constantly go out and see new pussies in my
Speaker 1: mind now to like validate that he still wants this one,
Speaker 1: because I think he's just gotten used to it, and
Speaker 1: I don't want someone who's just like, uh, this is
Speaker 1: all I can get. I guess I just have to
Speaker 1: stay with it because I'm locked in. Another reason I
Speaker 1: don't like marriage because it feels like you have to
Speaker 1: stay with me because now there's a ring on your finger,
Speaker 1: and you made all this pledge in front of all
Speaker 1: your family and friends, and we spent thousands of dollars.
Speaker 1: So that's why you're with me, as opposed to he's
Speaker 1: with me because he could be with anyone at any time,
Speaker 1: and he keeps choosing me. Being a girlfriend makes it
Speaker 1: feel like I am fighting for something and achieving something
Speaker 1: more than if I got married. It would feel like
Speaker 1: an achievement on that day, like I did it, But
Speaker 1: past that, I'd be like, Oh, I just locked him
Speaker 1: in a cage, and now I'm acting like he wants
Speaker 1: to stay. He doesn't.
Speaker 2: No, he can't leave. He's locked in.
Speaker 1: That stuff doesn't make me feel like I achieved snaring
Speaker 1: this animal. It's it's trapped. It doesn't want to be
Speaker 1: with me. Locked him in there jowls.
Speaker 4: But this is like, you don't do this with your girlfriends.
Speaker 4: What do you mean you don't have an achievement paradigm
Speaker 4: with your girlfriends.
Speaker 1: Tell me a little bit of that, Like I feel,
Speaker 1: I'm just so confident that I'm the best friend possible,
Speaker 1: and you all can meet each other and find other
Speaker 1: versions of what I offer in a friendship in other people.
Speaker 1: But I do there's a narcissistic attent. No, I there's
Speaker 1: nothing I feel more accomplished about in my life than
Speaker 1: the ability to collect amazing girlfriends and to nurture amazing
Speaker 1: friendships that both support me and that I feel that
Speaker 1: I can support them. There's nothing more in my life
Speaker 1: that I'll ever be more proud of. Put it on
Speaker 1: my gravestone. I'm the best at making girlfriends. No, question
Speaker 1: about it. It's true, but I know, but the love
Speaker 1: it's like.
Speaker 4: Love is not a the way the words you're using,
Speaker 4: but like collect.
Speaker 2: Collect girlfriends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I'm I mean, I'm just I'm trying to
Speaker 1: be I'm saying it for humor.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, you know, but I mean, like with Chris,
Speaker 4: it makes it's I don't know, like that's a lot
Speaker 4: of pressure to put on yourself that you love it
Speaker 4: best you do.
Speaker 1: I love it. I want it. I don't want him.
Speaker 1: I want to constantly be the best that is in me.
Speaker 3: You see a porn. What if he sees a pussy's
Speaker 3: and porn? Is that enough? You look at those pussies
Speaker 3: and he goes, ah, I want glaze, you know? Is
Speaker 3: that yeah?
Speaker 2: That actually is enough?
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: I do like him to watch porn, honestly, to just
Speaker 1: have an idea of what's out there and what he
Speaker 1: could be getting. Yet he still chooses me. That is
Speaker 1: one hundred percent correct. That it turns me on to
Speaker 1: here even when I hear him on the radio be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's been some attractive Jeopardy contestants lately, or like, you know,
Speaker 1: there was some headline about the hottest Jeopardy contestant ever.
Speaker 1: They were reading about it and Chris is like Chris
Speaker 1: watches Jeopardy every day, and he's like, there's been some
Speaker 1: really good looking ones recently. It was like the most
Speaker 1: banal thing. He was just being very polite, but like
Speaker 1: he didn't even say good looking. He's like some really impressive,
Speaker 1: you know, physically impressive people on the show. And I
Speaker 1: like wrote him like I heard you say this, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I loved it so much. And then
Speaker 1: Christin Bell came up and he goes, man, she is
Speaker 1: something and I was like, oh, yes, Like I don't
Speaker 1: know why that turns me on because I see that
Speaker 1: he now I know he is in tuned with other things.
Speaker 1: He's not given up. He's still noticing other women are attracted.
Speaker 1: That means he's constantly calibrating. I got to keep up.
Speaker 2: I like that. I never want to.
Speaker 1: I don't like being complacent or a feeling like I
Speaker 1: just and I know a lot of people are probably
Speaker 1: like this is so sad. Nicky never feels safe. I
Speaker 1: a hundred there. The truth is, I'm probably a narcissist
Speaker 1: because I know there's no one better for me than him.
Speaker 1: He could break up with me and end up with someone,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, he's always gonna think about me,
Speaker 1: even though that's not the truth. And there are men
Speaker 1: in my past that I've said that about and I
Speaker 1: don't feel that way. I'm like, no, that person's better
Speaker 1: for them. They never think about me at all. But
Speaker 1: for Chris, I'm certain I'm the best he could do.
Speaker 6: I think that's confidence, not narcissism.
Speaker 4: But you said he's the best I know. I'm confident
Speaker 4: that he that he is the best person for me.
Speaker 4: Didn't you just say.
Speaker 1: That I'm the best person for him. I'm confident right
Speaker 1: now that he's the best person for me, and I'm
Speaker 1: constantly calibrating that too, to be quite honest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like a good match.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like because I want I want to
Speaker 1: be with the bet, I want the best.
Speaker 3: It's almost like you guys are in a stand still
Speaker 3: in an arm wrestling match and nobody He.
Speaker 1: Would hate this. He's not like this, this is this
Speaker 1: is an invention in my own mind. He has no
Speaker 1: idea that I mean. It's not like I'm constantly like
Speaker 1: is this guy better? Is this guy better? Not like that.
Speaker 1: I'm just like I And it's not even about better,
Speaker 1: better looking, taller, whatever, more money.
Speaker 2: I don't weigh those things. It's like, could someone love
Speaker 2: me more?
Speaker 1: That is, if someone comes into my world that I'm
Speaker 1: like and they but they can't get in because they
Speaker 1: couldn't even get in the door right now because I'm
Speaker 1: in a relationship. So there's not a good chance of
Speaker 1: someone proving that. But if he starts to show signs
Speaker 1: of not loving me enough, if he were to suddenly
Speaker 1: start saying cruel things which he's never done in his
Speaker 1: whole life, or just ignoring me being affectionateless things like that,
Speaker 1: I one hundred percent would start looking for someone else
Speaker 1: to love me more. But so that is and I
Speaker 1: think everyone should. Is that crazy? I don't think that
Speaker 1: you should just settle just because you're married, like for
Speaker 1: whatever that person's willing to give you.
Speaker 3: Well, if the person is no longer giving you what
Speaker 3: you need in the relationship and then they're also unwilling
Speaker 3: to put in any effort to.
Speaker 1: Give you, you would have to address it with them
Speaker 1: and say, hey, I've noticed this is a thing that's happening.
Speaker 1: Because it could be like they're going through a depression
Speaker 1: or something like that. But yeah, teeth hurt, their teeth hurt.
Speaker 1: I mean that is a huge thing. Brian is in
Speaker 1: constant pain. He's at A seven most of the time,
Speaker 1: in pain from one to ten.
Speaker 3: I'm feeling okay right now, I haven't eaten yet, but.
Speaker 1: What are you at right now?
Speaker 3: Four?
Speaker 1: Okay, that's not bad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not bad.
Speaker 1: If people have chronic pain and you are in my life,
Speaker 1: please let me know because otherwise I just think you're
Speaker 1: a dick. Not that I ever thought Brian was a dick,
Speaker 1: but I just think I'll go, oh, Brian's like bored
Speaker 1: with me right now or whatever, and these aren't actually thought,
Speaker 1: but I will just take it personally. But when someone's like,
Speaker 1: I'm cramping right now, really bad, my back hurts, whatever
Speaker 1: it is, I suddenly all of the things, I'm like,
Speaker 1: why is this person such a grump? Like it? It
Speaker 1: suddenly alleviates it for me, and then I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: And then now I'm like, I don't take anything personally,
Speaker 1: but people, man, I'm not someone who has lived in
Speaker 1: chronic pain. But I've said it on the podcast before.
Speaker 1: If you do, I have so much empathy. I don't
Speaker 1: know how you do it. I don't know how you
Speaker 1: go to work. I don't know how you dress your
Speaker 1: kids in the morning. I don't know how you got
Speaker 1: a narcissist? What not a narcissist? Honestly the way I
Speaker 1: feel about people in pain. I had a dream last
Speaker 1: night that my friend was in pain and I was
Speaker 1: just like helping them and like holding them and getting
Speaker 1: them things and like just like rubbing their head, like
Speaker 1: patting their head gently because they were in pain. And
Speaker 1: like I I'm like, Brian is someone in my life
Speaker 1: that's in pain a lot. And then my other friend,
Speaker 1: Bill is currently in a lot of pain and I
Speaker 1: have to be around him a lot, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's hard for me to be around them because I'm
Speaker 1: so like, give me some it, Like.
Speaker 2: Can I please take some of it?
Speaker 1: Like it? Because I'm also like and then I get
Speaker 1: a narcissistic thought of like, man, I suck. If I
Speaker 1: had that, I wouldn't be here, and he's here, He's
Speaker 1: better than me. And then I start hating myself because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm such a pussy. I could never do
Speaker 1: what they're doing. And then I make it about myself. No,
Speaker 1: how do you do it? How do you get through it?
Speaker 3: I just want to say, like, let that be. It
Speaker 3: should be a life less than everybody takes an account
Speaker 3: is never ever take anything personally because it is almost
Speaker 3: never about you. If someone's acting like a dick or
Speaker 3: being a little short or whatever, trust me, it's not
Speaker 3: about you. So like, yeah, what I say about people
Speaker 3: who are in chronic pain or stuff, there's no excuse.
Speaker 3: It's just like when you feel things in a certain way.
Speaker 3: My pain feelings are just emotional feelings that are manifesting
Speaker 3: through physical symptoms. Because I feel that way. That's not
Speaker 3: an excuse to be a dick. That doesn't excuse any
Speaker 3: type of behavior. You still have to to be your
Speaker 3: best self despite that and so but on the other
Speaker 3: side of it, do not take it personally. If someone's
Speaker 3: addict to you, you can hate them, you can be like,
Speaker 3: I don't think that I don't want to be around
Speaker 3: that person. They're gonna act like that all the time,
Speaker 3: but like, know that it's not something that you did.
Speaker 3: It's not about you. It's about them every single time,
Speaker 3: even if they're not in pain physically.
Speaker 1: I said this the other day in mixed company because
Speaker 1: Brian and I were hanging out with some people, and
Speaker 1: I noticed that Brian, there's someone that we were hanging
Speaker 1: out with that was like in a bad mood because
Speaker 1: of pain. And I and Brian shared something and I said, yeah,
Speaker 1: I had that ex same experience, and I go, just know,
Speaker 1: and both me and my girlfriend were like, just no,
Speaker 1: it is not like it is. Don't take it personally.
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, I don't. I would, I would.
Speaker 1: There was no even Brian, this is the difference maybe
Speaker 1: between men and women, if I'm going to be more
Speaker 1: obtuse about it. But me and this girl were like
Speaker 1: so ready to just convince him that it wasn't his fault,
Speaker 1: and he was like, no, I know that. I'm not
Speaker 1: scared of this person. I don't. I'm not mad at them.
Speaker 1: I don't think I did something wrong. They're just in pain.
Speaker 1: Like it was just a little awkward, but that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean I'm gonna like feel sad about it all day.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what would that be? Like my god
Speaker 1: offended yesterday when I went to the cafe and the
Speaker 1: girl who I ordered my coffee from was a little
Speaker 1: bit short with me. I couldn't get out of my
Speaker 1: head for like four hours. This girl I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: see again. She doesn't even work there. The girl that
Speaker 1: I like was just not there. And this girl was like,
Speaker 1: I'll have your coffee in a second because I accidentally
Speaker 1: grabbed the wrong one, and then she forgot to put
Speaker 1: a Stevia in it, and I go, Hi, can I
Speaker 1: get a Stevia? And she should have said, oh, sorry,
Speaker 1: I forgot, but instead she goes yeah, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I asked for one before, and you remember it
Speaker 1: because I even said one and a half because you
Speaker 1: were like, do you want to? And I said, kay,
Speaker 1: what and a half? What the heck? Was that weird?
Speaker 1: And we had a little laugh about it, or I
Speaker 1: guess I didn't. And then she's like and then she
Speaker 1: was a rude to I'm still angry about it. But
Speaker 1: Brian was just like, oh, yeah, I wouldn't. I don't
Speaker 1: take things personally. It was just so, how do you
Speaker 1: not do that? Have you always been that way?
Speaker 3: Brian in a situation like that? I mean, I can
Speaker 3: totally understand when someone's got full of stress and they
Speaker 3: just kind of snap at you, and it's like, well,
Speaker 3: that's not definitely not about me. I don't know I guess.
Speaker 1: It doesn't stay with you all day, like even though
Speaker 1: you know cognitively, it's not like you still feel guilty
Speaker 1: I should have done something differently now they don't like me.
Speaker 3: Mentally mentally it might stay with me all day just
Speaker 3: to be like just to just to say like can
Speaker 3: you believe that? But I'm certainly not reeling over it,
Speaker 3: and you're.
Speaker 1: Not making a judgment about yourself and like I'm a
Speaker 1: piece of shit.
Speaker 3: No, I'm kind of I calculate, like, well, now, knowing
Speaker 3: that this person might act that way when they're in
Speaker 3: high stress situations, what can I do to in a
Speaker 3: situation like this. I do not walk on eggshells in
Speaker 3: a relationship like this, but in a like a romantic
Speaker 3: or lie. But I'm thinking like, okay, so what can
Speaker 3: I do in order to make that not happen again
Speaker 3: when interacting with me? To taking that into a yeah, oh.
Speaker 1: God, I wish that for every woman listening to this
Speaker 1: podcast right now a little bit because worst character flat
Speaker 1: taking the amount of times I see myself and my
Speaker 1: friends derailed for weeks on end from anything productive they
Speaker 1: could be doing because one person got mad at them
Speaker 1: at one point that had nothing to do with them.
Speaker 1: And I can see it so clearly because I'm not
Speaker 1: in it is. There's years of people's lives wasted every
Speaker 1: day from short interactions that have nothing to do with them.
Speaker 1: Please God, stop wasting your life worrying about people being
Speaker 1: mad at you. Oh it's the biggest waste of time.
Speaker 1: Go right up, poem.
Speaker 3: I forgot to mention that. Also, every morning I've been
Speaker 3: slipping a little bit of arsenic into his coffee, just
Speaker 3: a little bit so it will come back.
Speaker 1: It is your fault. Oh yeah, I will get.
Speaker 4: Just one and a half back into our sen Yes.
Speaker 1: We gotta go.
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to the pod this week.
Speaker 1: You guys, we really uncomfort a lot about myself today.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: And uh, we'll.
Speaker 2: See you next week.
Speaker 1: Don't be cut and just feel your feelings. Don't murder
Speaker 1: someone