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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer podcast. Glaser. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I

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Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's a Nick Klaser podcast.

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Speaker 1: I am in a hotel room in Los Angeles. I

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Speaker 1: have nothing going on in my life right now. I

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Speaker 1: was thinking, I went to go journal this morning, nothing

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Speaker 1: that is like of note, and I was like trying

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Speaker 1: to come up with some stuff to talk about today.

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Speaker 2: I was journaling. I have been journaling every day, which

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Speaker 2: is good.

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Speaker 1: I like have been having pretty good dreams and I've

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Speaker 1: been writing them down and stuff, and no one wants

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Speaker 1: to hear that fucking shit, not even my therapist. I

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Speaker 1: was starting to like talk about my dreams two days

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Speaker 1: ago when I saw her and I could tell she

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Speaker 1: was just like, even I'm bored with this, and I

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Speaker 1: know what they mean, you know, like it was just

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Speaker 1: falling off of roller coasters.

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Speaker 3: Oh, we got to stop with the dreams. I think.

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Speaker 1: I'm right, Yeah, I don't want to.

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Speaker 3: There's some symbolism to them, but like I mean, it's

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Speaker 3: a it's a trope in the this and up comedy

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Speaker 3: world that's like a million comedians with the joke or

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Speaker 3: even in sitcoms, but like one that no one wants

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Speaker 3: to hear your dreams. It's not interesting at all. There's

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Speaker 3: only one time that dreams are interesting to the other person,

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Speaker 3: and that is.

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Speaker 2: They're sex or you're in it.

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Speaker 3: If you're in it, I don't think if there's it's

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Speaker 3: like vacation photos.

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Speaker 1: It's it's like someone some comedian or maybe it was like, uh,

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Speaker 1: I think it might have been Dennis on Always Sonny said,

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Speaker 1: dreams are like people's photos. I don't want to see

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Speaker 1: it unless there's sex or I'm in them. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't hear about you know, something like that. It was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's a good annoualog.

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Speaker 3: Because they're such bullshit. They're always just you know, there's

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Speaker 3: no rules. It's like, oh, I saw this thing, and

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Speaker 3: then my aunt was there, and then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 3: I was in Topeka, and it's like who there's no.

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Speaker 1: Way to describe them. It's like an acid trip. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't sound interesting to anyone else who like. That's the

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Speaker 1: same way I feel about people doing psychedelics and telling

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Speaker 1: me about that experience, even though I do ask, and

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Speaker 1: I did, like I was talking to some about it.

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Speaker 1: I saw a clip of Theo Vaughn the other night,

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Speaker 1: you know, like YouTube just serves up what you need.

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Speaker 1: And it was like, THEO Von describes the difference between

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Speaker 1: DMT and ayahuasca, and he said that DMT is like

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Speaker 1: being buried in a pinball machine that's like on and

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Speaker 1: it's just going on and you're inside it, man, and

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Speaker 1: it's like a double baller or what. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how you eat out the talks and then he said,

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Speaker 1: but ayahuasca was like your heart farts. He was like

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Speaker 1: it really, it's if you don't if you want to

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Speaker 1: ever know the difference between those two or have any

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Speaker 1: one like you just want to know what that it's like.

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Speaker 1: It was a very elucidating, you know, description of both

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Speaker 1: of the things to me, because I've always gotten them confused.

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Speaker 1: I know I'll never do DMTA. Neil Brand told me, Yeah, oh,

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Speaker 1: THEO is one of the best people to just talk

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Speaker 1: about anything. I mean, he's one of my favorite people

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Speaker 1: to just look up clips and just hear him talk.

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Speaker 1: He's he's one of the best talkers that will ever exist.

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Speaker 1: And but I was just thinking about dreams. I recall

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Speaker 1: my favorite Mitch Hedberg joke. One of my favorites is

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Speaker 1: like man dreams, you know, I'm paraphrasing, dreams are like bullshit,

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Speaker 1: man like you could do anything, He's like, But most

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Speaker 1: of the time it's just like I'm building a shed

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Speaker 1: with my landlord. You could do anything.

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Speaker 4: My dreams are just like and then I'm packing my shampoo, and.

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Speaker 1: Packing is a crazy one for me. I pack a

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Speaker 1: lot in dreams anyway, So let's not talk about dreams anyway.

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Speaker 1: Been journaling a lot, didn't I have nothing to talk about,

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Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna.

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Speaker 2: Throw it to you, guys, what any.

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Speaker 4: And then you're like, I have nothing?

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Speaker 1: No, I well, I had something. I always have something

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Speaker 1: if I talk enough. But I really want to pitch

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Speaker 1: it to you guys with like, what do you have?

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Speaker 1: Major update?

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Speaker 3: Major update that I'm sure the best of these are

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Speaker 3: all curious to hear, and that is that the the

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Speaker 3: old Rag.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's somewhere you're going to say.

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Speaker 3: That the old Rag has been delivered to Nikki.

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Speaker 2: There's many stains on it.

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Speaker 3: I told you it was not a good rat.

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Speaker 2: I thought it was old. I didn't know it would have.

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Speaker 4: A microfiber from your glasses.

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Speaker 2: Case microfibers of murder scenes on it. Like it's like

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Speaker 2: it looks like a lot.

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Speaker 4: It's vintage for it.

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Speaker 2: I liked it. It says eye people.

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Speaker 3: Or something on it, an old eye care professional, and.

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Speaker 1: It's a great gift.

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Speaker 3: Look, there's a twist.

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Speaker 4: How does that feel to part with it?

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Speaker 1: Is there a twist?

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know I had it, so it feels nothing.

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Speaker 3: I feel like someone.

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Speaker 1: Explained that he got it out of the waste basket

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Speaker 1: after you all take that.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I thought it was in a special zip lock

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Speaker 4: that he carries around.

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Speaker 1: No, it was like in a it was he threw

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Speaker 1: it out on the show.

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Speaker 3: There's a twist.

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Speaker 1: What's the twist?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: No, you need it back, there will still open.

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 3: I went back into my bag. It was much deeper

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Speaker 3: than I had originally realized, and I found a another

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Speaker 3: old rag from the same place I had that.

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Speaker 2: Little better stiff.

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Speaker 3: It's not stiff, it's no very few stains. Do you

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Speaker 3: want to ski?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I want I want that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what these stains are. They're like black.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what that could because I use these

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Speaker 3: for my glasses.

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Speaker 2: Can't believe you still have this stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I can't believe that you went further through that bag, Like,

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Speaker 1: do you have that much time on your hand. I

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Speaker 1: don't think you do.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't, but you don't.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 3: I'll always make time for my rag bag.

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Speaker 1: Brian's been going to like he's he's got a lot

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Speaker 1: going on. He got a new mattress, which is like

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Speaker 1: the dreams of It's like, I want to hear about

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Speaker 1: this just as much I want to hear about people's dams.

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Speaker 1: But it actually is interesting because buying a mattress is

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Speaker 1: such a fucking arduous process.

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Speaker 2: And uh, you got a Temperpedick.

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Speaker 3: Yes, right now behind me is a temper Pedick Breeze

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Speaker 3: lux medium. And I got to say, anyone out there,

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Speaker 3: any of the besties, please help me. I need your

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Speaker 3: help because I got this temper pedic mattress. It costs

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Speaker 3: like six thousand dollars. And I know that there's a

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Speaker 3: break in period. I know that, but I just don't

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Speaker 3: trust that there it's gonna work. Because I'm sitting there

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Speaker 3: raising your hand. It's much firmer than I thought it

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Speaker 3: was going to be. And I wanted I want to

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Speaker 3: sink in, and it's not sinking in at all.

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Speaker 6: Brian, I understand your pain. We had the same exact thing.

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Speaker 6: We spent like the most amount of money that we

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Speaker 6: have ever spent on a piece of furniture. But it

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Speaker 6: became worth it. You just have to wait. It'll take

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Speaker 6: like four months, no unfortunate months.

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Speaker 3: That's past the return and I can't not sleep for

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Speaker 3: four months.

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Speaker 1: That's past.

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Speaker 6: It works, It works, and it will It'll be a

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Speaker 6: game changers super mattress.

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Speaker 2: Yes, ours is a temporari.

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Speaker 1: You didn't tell you by the hybrid kind? Or did

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Speaker 1: you buy the like it's gonna let me sink into

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Speaker 1: it kind of because Brian what he wanted out of

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Speaker 1: the temper Sepedic is that it forms to his body.

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Speaker 1: But when he went to the showroom, he was talked

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Speaker 1: into a hybrid of the four to your body and

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Speaker 1: the spring. And then he gets out of there and

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Speaker 1: he gets the hybrid, and now it's arrived and he goes,

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Speaker 1: why didn't I just get the thing that I wanted,

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Speaker 1: which is like it just forms to your body.

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Speaker 2: So which one did you get?

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Speaker 6: Noah, I cannot remember. I think we may have gotten

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Speaker 6: the hybrid. I can get back to you.

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Speaker 1: Saw this is.

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Speaker 3: What this is also the problem with mattresses. I've asked

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Speaker 3: almost every single person in my life, what kind of

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Speaker 3: mattrees they got, and either it's like Nicky's answer is like,

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Speaker 3: I have a shitty mattress. I don't give a shit

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Speaker 3: about it. I want a new one, and so that's

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Speaker 3: not very helpful, or it's or it's I have a

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Speaker 3: great mattress. I love it. It's the best mattress in

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Speaker 3: the world. What kind is it? Oh, I don't I

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Speaker 3: don't remember. I guess I'll look it up and then

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Speaker 3: I look up the receipt and it's just, oh, I

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Speaker 3: found the receipt. But it just says, uh, you know,

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Speaker 3: it just says like mattress good. And it's like, well,

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Speaker 3: what the fuck is that? Is it medium? Is it firm?

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Speaker 3: Is the spring?

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Speaker 1: It's medium? It's medium. I know that's for sure.

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Speaker 6: I just don't know which design it is, uh like

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Speaker 6: a year ago or something, or you just.

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Speaker 1: Is like disenchanted with it at first, and like what

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Speaker 1: a waste of money? And did you both have a

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Speaker 1: night four months and where we were like it's working,

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Speaker 1: like I mean time and I love.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, we have just like aggressive sex on it to

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Speaker 6: break it in. But before that, yeah, I was really

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Speaker 6: worried because it was so we were dropping like so

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Speaker 6: much money on it, and for my whole life.

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Speaker 1: I heard temper Pedic is the one. It's the best.

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Speaker 6: And then when we finally after getting it delivered and

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Speaker 6: it was a commitment to put it in the house,

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Speaker 6: we got the little platform and everything, and we were

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Speaker 6: just like, this is a lot more firm than I

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Speaker 6: remember at the store. And then I had like when

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Speaker 6: I checked, it was exactly medium firmness, and I was

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Speaker 6: just like, we're gonna have to return this and go

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Speaker 6: through the whole process. And I was really like just

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Speaker 6: so agitated over that. But right like as it got

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Speaker 6: to like the four or five month period, all of

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Speaker 6: a sudden, I was like, this, this mattress is so comfortable,

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Speaker 6: we're not.

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Speaker 4: Is it just because your will has been broken down?

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Speaker 4: Or does something happen in the biochemistry of the mattress.

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Speaker 6: I have been sleeping on a shitty mattress because I'm

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Speaker 6: at my dad's house, and my back and my neck

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Speaker 6: aren't so much pain, like pain that I don't feel

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Speaker 6: anymore because I sleep.

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Speaker 3: How many days have you been sleeping on your dad's mattress?

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Speaker 1: I've been here for the three months, twenty.

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Speaker 3: Three days, twenty that's enough. To get used to it. Wow, yeah,

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Speaker 3: shitty mattress. You can't. You can't get it.

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Speaker 4: It might be your pillow. I had a temperpedic pillow

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Speaker 4: which I got addicted to, and then I just gave

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Speaker 4: it to Matt because he had a really bad neck.

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Speaker 5: Once.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm might mat next, fine, now take this,

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Speaker 4: And now I'm like, is that a scam? A temperpedic pillow?

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Speaker 4: And I think I'm fine.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I think the pillows are really expensive,

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Speaker 3: and there's a million different types, and so far I've

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Speaker 3: tried almost every one of them, and I'm not sold

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Speaker 3: on the pillows. I'm not sold on the mattress. I

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Speaker 3: don't know. I think. I mean. I wrote an episode

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Speaker 3: of Adam Ruin's Everything on mattress where we literally said, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I wrote a whole episode on mattresses where we literally

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Speaker 3: get you. Then, I don't know, that's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: I literally said in this. I wrote this on a

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Speaker 3: script and it was said on television, do not spend

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Speaker 3: thousands of dollars on a mattress. It's a scam. I

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Speaker 3: wrote that, and then I went ahead and I spent

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Speaker 3: thousands of dollars on the line.

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Speaker 1: Did you write that? What was your finding? Will you

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Speaker 1: like tell us what the gist of the episode was

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Speaker 1: and why that that's true and what you should do

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Speaker 1: instead of spending thousands of dollars.

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Speaker 3: Studies have shown that there is very little difference in

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Speaker 3: customer satisfaction between after you reach a certain threshold in mattresses.

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Speaker 3: So like you don't want to buy like a five

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Speaker 3: hundred dollars mattress, like the mattress no was probably sleeping on,

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Speaker 3: But once you pass like a thousand dollars, there is

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Speaker 3: no difference in customer satisfaction between a one thousand dollars

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Speaker 3: mattress and a ten thousand dollars mattress. It's like it's

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Speaker 3: like you know that thing where you make a certain

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Speaker 3: amount of money. Yeah, once you pass that threshold, it

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Speaker 3: doesn't matter if you make two hundred thousand dollars or

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Speaker 3: four hundred thousand dollars, it's like all the same. Well,

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Speaker 3: that's how it is with mattresses, and a lot of

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Speaker 3: the materials that are in mattresses are made by the

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Speaker 3: same three companies. You know. That's like the coils with eyeglasses.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's basically like canned good canned tomatoes, like

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Speaker 4: I told you guys.

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Speaker 2: Coming from the same factory.

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Speaker 1: It's just the label or like a hallal meat, oh exactly.

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Speaker 3: And you know the meat that's spinning and you're like, well,

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Speaker 3: that doesn't look like real meat. Guess what, it's not

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00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,200
Speaker 3: real meat. It's mostly sawdust and breadcrumbs. You freaks. You're

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Speaker 3: eating a bunch of shit, all right, Well the mattress.

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Speaker 1: The other day it's vegan, is eat that meat now?

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Speaker 3: And then also there's like a bunch of shady practices

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Speaker 3: at the.

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Speaker 1: Mattresses, go against everything you know, and wrote like what

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Speaker 1: have you explored?

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Speaker 3: Like what made you I'm desolate?

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Speaker 1: Pain?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well that the pain is a great motivator. And

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Speaker 3: I was grinding and clenching my teeth at night and

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Speaker 3: destroying my teeth, and I learned that I have to

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Speaker 3: sleep on my back in order to not do it

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Speaker 3: as much. And the mattress I used to have, which

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Speaker 3: also cost five thousand dollars, was too firm. It was

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Speaker 3: way too firm. I couldn't sleep on my back and

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Speaker 3: too many pressure points. So I slept in an airbnb

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Speaker 3: where there was a memory foam mattress, and I slept

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Speaker 3: all night on my back, and I was like, I

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Speaker 3: think I need a memory foam, so I you know,

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Speaker 3: even though get that exact one, well, I thought about it.

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Speaker 3: We contacted the airbnb owner and they said, of course

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Speaker 3: you did. Yeah, and they said I was like, this

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Speaker 3: was this was It wasn't the best mattress I've ever

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Speaker 3: slept in, but it was good enough. And they said

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Speaker 3: it was a six hundred dollars mattress from Wayfair. It

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Speaker 3: didn't even have a.

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Speaker 1: Name, right, yeah, so you weren't able to find the model.

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Speaker 3: No I was, but I was like, Okay, yes, that

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Speaker 3: mattress was.

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Speaker 1: Good, that's not past one thousand dollars point that you

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Speaker 1: need to feel good.

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Speaker 3: And also that mattress is probably not going to last

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Speaker 3: very long. It's probably going to be like sagging after

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Speaker 3: a year. And then like I don't want to go

299
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Speaker 3: through this again. So at least was like, let me

300
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Speaker 3: go find a memory phone mattress. That's why I did it.

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Speaker 3: And then I just went to the store and I'll

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00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,520
Speaker 3: tell you what those I mean. They have all these

303
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,520
Speaker 3: things in place that make you buy the mattress. They

304
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,080
Speaker 3: offer three years zero interest financing, they always have a sale,

305
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:26,079
Speaker 3: it's ending tomorrow. They have the mattress salesman who's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'll just leave you alone and let you sleep on it.

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00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,160
Speaker 3: And then and then they come back five minutes later

308
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,880
Speaker 3: and they're like, how was it? And then they offer

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00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,040
Speaker 3: you the ninety day return policy so you can return it.

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Speaker 3: So it's like, oh, is this even really a purchase?

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Speaker 3: So then you just walk out of the store all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden. So you spend six grand on a

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Speaker 3: mattress and you all wells fargo your life savings and

314
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Speaker 3: now you're sleeping on a brick.

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Speaker 4: May I have a solution and a hopeful anecdote? I'll

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00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,760
Speaker 4: tell you the hopeful No, I'll tell you the solution. Okay, No,

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00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,160
Speaker 4: I'll tell you the helpful it. Okay, no solution, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: let's do the solution.

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Speaker 1: Solution.

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Speaker 4: I was just kidding, ok yeah, pillow top mattress. Just

321
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Speaker 4: spend thirty bucks on a pillow top?

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Speaker 1: You did it?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:10,440
Speaker 1: Sorry?

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00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 4: Then should have told that last I wanted Matt mattter

326
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:20,120
Speaker 4: ring shopping for wedding rings and it was annoying, and

327
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,560
Speaker 4: we finally he found a company online where they send

328
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 4: you a bunch of ring samples. You try them on,

329
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:30,400
Speaker 4: you figure out your guys. Yeah, and we decided. He

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00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,960
Speaker 4: decided on one. I was like, oh, I wasn't I

331
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 4: didn't know I had a preference for rings, but these

332
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,920
Speaker 4: were not the specifications I would have decided. I was

333
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:43,960
Speaker 4: thinking round, classic for him. For him, like a bright

334
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,880
Speaker 4: He's like, I don't know what to do, babe, which one.

335
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,920
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't care, pick one you like, and

336
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,360
Speaker 4: then he picks when he likes and I was like, whoa,

337
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,800
Speaker 4: I don't think I like that.

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00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,240
Speaker 1: Whatever.

339
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I didn't even know what I liked, but

340
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,760
Speaker 4: I realized, I guess I like a classic men's wedding ring,

341
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,800
Speaker 4: kind of bright, like shinier gold, which is not what

342
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,720
Speaker 4: I would think I would like, rounded edges, not super

343
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,280
Speaker 4: not super thick, not super thin. Anyway, he picks like

344
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,880
Speaker 4: a matte pale gold. It's like, not shiny at all,

345
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,640
Speaker 4: and it's a little thinner than I'm used to it,

346
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 4: and it's got square edges, so it looks like a

347
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,960
Speaker 4: little more industrial. I was like, I don't know if

348
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,880
Speaker 4: I like that. It's kind of nineties or something. Anyway,

349
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,520
Speaker 4: I don't I don't say what I want because I'm

350
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,160
Speaker 4: like I don't even know what I want. Just let

351
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,920
Speaker 4: this guy choose. It's his fucking ring. And then it

352
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,520
Speaker 4: comes and he's wearing it, and I was just like,

353
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,400
Speaker 4: I think I hate it, but in my head, he

354
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,560
Speaker 4: doesn't even know this. For two days, I'm like, I

355
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,560
Speaker 4: think I fucking hate it. And I know there's a

356
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,080
Speaker 4: return period and it's like free exchange or whatever, and

357
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,960
Speaker 4: I was just like, should we exchange it? And I

358
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 4: just bit my tongue and now whatever, you know, a

359
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,960
Speaker 4: month or two months after we had bought those rings,

360
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,000
Speaker 4: I fucking love it. It looks so cool on him.

361
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 4: It looks I'm like, that is the coolest ring I've

362
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,040
Speaker 4: ever seen, like every day. I don't know what it is.

363
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,360
Speaker 4: I've just gotten used to it, but it just looks.

364
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,240
Speaker 4: It's like very Matt. I can't explain it.

365
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:04,680
Speaker 1: It looks.

366
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 4: It looks cool. So I'm glad I kind of listened

367
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,480
Speaker 4: to the tiny, tiny voice in my head that was like, eh,

368
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,080
Speaker 4: just let this alone. Try to micromanage this.

369
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 1: So this is another reason why marriage I don't want

370
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,000
Speaker 1: to do it.

371
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,280
Speaker 2: Could I just say here's another thing.

372
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,120
Speaker 1: I can't commit to a ring the rest of my life,

373
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 1: like a piece of jewelry that I have to wear forever.

374
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,520
Speaker 2: And also who cares?

375
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,080
Speaker 1: Like, were you just mad that you were going to

376
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 1: like see his ring and always just feel like, oh god,

377
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 1: it's ugly like the rest of your life. Was that

378
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 1: your fear or that people would think your husband's lame

379
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 1: if they saw it because he likes it, So what

380
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 1: does it matter? It's just like I don't.

381
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:47,400
Speaker 4: I'm very much into like how like I get a

382
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 4: lot of joy from the aesthetics of things, So like

383
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 4: I can just stare at my own I don't fucking know,

384
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,760
Speaker 4: like a chair that I bought, and just be like, God.

385
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,400
Speaker 1: When you had your nails done, you were like, I

386
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,400
Speaker 1: can't stop looking at them. They still long.

387
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 4: No, no, I cut them off. They're still they're like

388
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,160
Speaker 4: growing out. But I chopped them off so I could

389
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:09,800
Speaker 4: play guitar. Right, But the weird plasticky thing, the extension

390
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 4: is still glued on there.

391
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 1: Right, And then what happens with that? You have to

392
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 1: have it like removed. I forget.

393
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,400
Speaker 4: Eventually I'm going to just have it removed, but I'm

394
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 4: too lazy to go. And right now, it's actually making

395
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 4: the guitar picking sound really cool because they're so thick.

396
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice.

397
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:26,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you feel about your spray tand do

398
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,440
Speaker 2: you miss it? Because mine?

399
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,360
Speaker 4: I missed it, but I got it strange. First of all,

400
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,440
Speaker 4: it did ruin my favorite white pants. I just got these,

401
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,919
Speaker 4: and it ruined the bottoms of them. I went to

402
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 4: the foot massage place and they moved my pants up.

403
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,320
Speaker 4: They hiked them up to my knees and then you know,

404
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,399
Speaker 4: they were lotioning me up and it was hot that

405
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 4: day in New York. And then when they were all done,

406
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,640
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, horrified. My spray tand is like there's

407
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,520
Speaker 4: a ring around my little white pants And I was.

408
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,919
Speaker 1: Like, fuck why I get tons of spray tan on

409
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,520
Speaker 1: towels and like makeup and spray tan, and they are

410
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 1: always at hotels like they maybe they throw out the

411
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 1: toels because they're like this is ruined.

412
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 2: Like how do why can't you just bleach things the

413
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:06,439
Speaker 2: way hotels do?

414
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 1: Why can we not do it?

415
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,879
Speaker 4: But this is three three washes later and oh so

416
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 4: I'll just bleach them. It's almost back to normal. But

417
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 4: it was annoying. I missed the spray can though, although

418
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 4: I did develop a weird dot on my leg that

419
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:20,920
Speaker 4: is still there.

420
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,879
Speaker 1: Do you ever get these age spots? Was gone? No,

421
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 1: I thought it was the plasma because they know they

422
00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 1: like definitely highlight your age spots when you get spray tan.

423
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:33,600
Speaker 4: See that little freckle right there or not. So that

424
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 4: was really dark. And that came like the night after

425
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 4: my spray tan. I woke up with a super dark, dark,

426
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,920
Speaker 4: dark thing and it felt like a scab. So I'm like, oh,

427
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 4: it's just spraytn collected in a weird spot, but it's

428
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 4: taken three weeks to go away. Do you ever get those?

429
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,720
Speaker 1: I would never notice that my ba not.

430
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 4: Just a weird dark dot on your leg.

431
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,679
Speaker 2: You're you're very self aware.

432
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 1: I would not know. I mean like, yeah, no, I

433
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,520
Speaker 1: I have people are constantly worried about my spraytan more

434
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,880
Speaker 1: than I am, Like just makeup artists and people are

435
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: just like, oh, it's like on the back, it's patch.

436
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, cause I got a spraytan. Like people can

437
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,160
Speaker 1: probably look at me and understand her armpits are gonna

438
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 1: be white because she got a spray tan and it

439
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 1: was a shitty one because she doesn't like because people go,

440
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 1: why don't you get custom ones? Because I just go

441
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 1: in a booth every single time, no matter what the

442
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,879
Speaker 1: level of a thing appearance I'm making. And a booth

443
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 1: is just like for people who are maybe going to

444
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 1: a wedding that weekend. They're not in the wedding, but

445
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,719
Speaker 1: you are supposed to get a custom one for like

446
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 1: the real good spraytand but I will not do it.

447
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 4: And do you know why, because you don't want to

448
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 4: wait exactly.

449
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,919
Speaker 1: People think it's like it's because you don't want to

450
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,360
Speaker 1: be naked in front of someone. It's also a lot

451
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,640
Speaker 1: more expensive. It is not any of those things. It's

452
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 1: because it takes too fucking long.

453
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 3: A booth.

454
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 1: You go in and it just like sprays you naked

455
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 1: and it goes down. Yeah, it's a glory. Like you

456
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 1: go in, you take off all your clothes. I don't

457
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: do any lotion barriers because there's a spray. There's like

458
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,479
Speaker 1: a wet wipe in there that you just afterwards, you

459
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,080
Speaker 1: just wipe all the places that you don't want spray

460
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 1: tann on. You don't need to do lotion barriers. It's

461
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 1: stupid And I've been doing these for hundreds of years.

462
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,159
Speaker 2: And so you go ends of.

463
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 4: Your hands are a little bit orange. Did you not

464
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:23,719
Speaker 4: do it.

465
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:24,239
Speaker 1: No, they're not.

466
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: It's just looking that way, like if I see them

467
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 2: up close, they're not.

468
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 1: They really aren't. My hand is orange. This is orange,

469
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,439
Speaker 1: but this I know it looks orange, but it's not.

470
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,199
Speaker 1: For some reason what I look at it.

471
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,679
Speaker 4: Are you supposed to do your armpits too? I forgot

472
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,160
Speaker 4: she had me do it, but I was so self

473
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 4: conscious of black?

474
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 2: But who is seeing your armpits? And who is going

475
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:41,159
Speaker 2: to go?

476
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,400
Speaker 4: I would definitely look like who cares? Now they're supposed

477
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 4: to be white.

478
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 1: Exactly, But like, I just don't get, like, can't people

479
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: just understand that there's gonna be like a little bit

480
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 1: like there are people with vital igo and everyone's not like,

481
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: oh my god, burn her, you know, like, who gives

482
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 1: a shit if it's a little spotchy, we're gonna go.

483
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 3: To break What I say that, I don't know. That's

484
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 3: just me though? What burn people? They have spots? Yeah,

485
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 3: I'm just disgusted by everybody.

486
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 1: So you get naked, you go into a booth, it

487
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 1: tells you, I mean, depending on the like this is.

488
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 1: I want every girl to know this because spreetans will

489
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:20,919
Speaker 1: elevate you so much, and everyone's so scared of going

490
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,159
Speaker 1: into a spraytan booth. It will not just go to

491
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 1: a low level, But I always go to the highest

492
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 1: level no matter what, because it's so disappointing when it

493
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 1: doesn't show up at all, and it will never.

494
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 2: Be so high that you're like, I look insane. At

495
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 2: least for me. There's not enough tan I could be.

496
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: So you go and you press a button, you stand

497
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 1: like this, then you have one arm like this, Then

498
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 1: you have one arm like this, then you stay from behind,

499
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 1: and then they do two and then they go drying

500
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 1: phase and it takes five minutes and then you're dry

501
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: by the time you step out. You maybe like dance

502
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 1: around a little bit, take a picture for your boyfriend,

503
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: because you will look super tan and super hot and

504
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,399
Speaker 1: the lighting's really low and it looks it's always a

505
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 1: great time to get like a sex sual and you're

506
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 1: like kind of wet looking and that's always a good look.

507
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,959
Speaker 1: Send that off to him, validate your existence, and then

508
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: you leave in your fucking hand and it's great.

509
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, you're a pro. That makes sense. If I

510
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 4: had had more than like five spray hands in my life,

511
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 4: i'd booth it up to I'd be like, I got this.

512
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 1: But why don't you just trust me? Both because it's

513
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: there's nothing that I'm.

514
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 4: Still learning how to, Like, don't.

515
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: Waste that top spray because it starts spraying at your

516
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,120
Speaker 1: head for tall people and especially if you're a shorty,

517
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: put your arms up and follow it down and then

518
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: hit the pose where it would be.

519
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 3: As Chris said, she just can't handle the booth. He

520
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: said that it was funny.

521
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 4: There's a writer's strike.

522
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 1: You just still you can't handle them. Who did you say?

523
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:45,719
Speaker 1: Said that?

524
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 3: Christ Convey? He said that Chris Conny said it, and

525
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 3: at a very appropriate moment it laughed out loud.

526
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 4: Oh okay, then that makes sense.

527
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 1: God, I miss him. That really made me miss it.

528
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: I feel we don't talk on the phone when we're apart,

529
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,640
Speaker 1: so I kind of feel like he is we'll talk

530
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 1: more about all of this and also.

531
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 2: Less when we get back.

532
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: We're back. I'm guessing that I when Chris said she

533
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: just can't handle the booth, I was talking about a

534
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: spray tand booth.

535
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 3: No, you weren't there. It was we were driving to

536
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 3: the UDO concert and there's that parking lot outside of

537
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 3: the concert venue, and there is a parking attendant lady

538
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 3: in a booth and she was she kind of like

539
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 3: gave us a hard time because Chris was like trying

540
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 3: to park in the special parking spots because you know,

541
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 3: he's like associated with the concert, and they gave us

542
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 3: a hard time. Then we went to go get dinner,

543
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 3: and we came back and I pointed out, Oh, the

544
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 3: parking attendant lady isn't there anymore, and then he goes,

545
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 3: I guess she could just couldn't handle the booth.

546
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,480
Speaker 4: That's very clever.

547
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: Good, Yeah, that does make me.

548
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 1: It's good.

549
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 3: Ye, he said. It's so fast too.

550
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: Right, He's very quick.

551
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 1: I'm very That's why I love listening to his radio

552
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 1: show because I'm reminded of how fucking fast and funny

553
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: and quick he is in many ways. But he does.

554
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a pun. Some people are nauseated by them.

555
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 1: But that's a good one.

556
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 3: No, Yeah, people are nauseated by bad punts, you.

557
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: Know, or ones where the person is really proud of themselves.

558
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 2: No, not that hard and then go huh you know

559
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 2: like that, yeah, and you wait.

560
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 4: It is interesting how some comdians' minds you can tell

561
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 4: by hearing their set. They cannot help writing puns. It's

562
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,439
Speaker 4: like completely involuntary. It's just how their brains work. Like

563
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 4: Mark Norman's new special Full of Full of Puns.

564
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, did you watch the whole thing?

565
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 4: I've watched half of it, but he's so clever and he.

566
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 1: Did you get through it all? And there's literally no

567
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 1: comedian I can get through it all.

568
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 4: I love Mark and luck. He reminds me of like

569
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 4: a funny Grandpa cross and it's weird because he's like

570
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 4: a young, god looking guy, but he's got that grandpa

571
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 4: voice and some of the jokes are very like dirty grandpa,

572
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 4: so it's cute.

573
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: I wanted to write one point five times the speed

574
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,360
Speaker 1: lesson I couldn't sleep. I was like, Oh, check out

575
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: Mark's new special Soup to Nuts. It's on Netflix. Mark

576
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,199
Speaker 1: is one of the best, you know, joke writers. And

577
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 1: but I was listening to him actually on Theo Vonn's

578
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 1: podcast again. A YouTube clip popped up and he was

579
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: talking about how in THEO was saying man like, I

580
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 1: was laughing out loud so hard, and it's just it's

581
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 1: you're the perfect comic to go see on a date,

582
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: because there's you never have to worry if she's having

583
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: a good time because there's no time to ever check

584
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 1: in on, like is she enjoyed because it's just rapid fire.

585
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: It was something about that and he was like, yeah,

586
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: I hate silence. I hate it. I don't want silence

587
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: up there. And I was like, oh my god, I

588
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 1: relate to that so much. He's like some comedians can

589
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 1: just like take their time, like why would you ever

590
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: do that?

591
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: Like how could you risk that? And I really liked

592
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 2: hearing something.

593
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: It just feels validated when you hear someone that you

594
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 1: admire say something that you have felt your whole life.

595
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: And yeah, he's he's just a rapid fire and has yeah,

596
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: tons of puns, but like, yeah, I got I listen

597
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 1: to it one point five times of speed, which is

598
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 1: insane because he already talks so fast. But it's so

599
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 1: good and I'm I'm just doing it bite sized because

600
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: I was getting kind of sleepy at the time I watched,

601
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 1: and I want to and I want to finish it

602
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 1: up at some point when I have time.

603
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 3: In my life, because I can't wait to watch that one.

604
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 1: And so good. It's so good there the title is yeah,

605
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 1: and I love he you know he always on Conan.

606
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 1: He uh, it was the first time I heard him

607
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: do it on TV. But he's you know, at the

608
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 1: end of his said, he goes, thanks, I'm Kevin Hart.

609
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: It's just like but they introduced him as Kevin Hart

610
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: on this please give it up for Kevin Hart.

611
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 4: You know you're doing that a long time. I was like,

612
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 4: I haven't heard this.

613
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: It's so good.

614
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:49,959
Speaker 3: There's some comedians who are like really sit in the

615
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 3: silence and they they usually have a stool that they

616
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 3: can actually sit. No, thank you, and I and the industry.

617
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 1: Fucking up these that's the custom spray tan of comedians

618
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 1: like come on, let's let's speed this up. And they

619
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: do love it. You know why because to do that

620
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: you have to be so fucking confident you have to

621
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 1: be a narcissist. People love narcissists. They are It would

622
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 1: be incredible to be one. Honestly, it's a superpower. It

623
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: really is, like I kind of wish I was. And

624
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about having that narcissistic traits like we

625
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: all diagnose our boyfriends with. This is this is like

626
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: someone who is a pathological just you know, personality disorder.

627
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 1: They have narcissism, they are a full blown narcissist.

628
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 3: Is that if at any point anything deduces them, not

629
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 3: deduces them, degrades them, or points out a flaw in

630
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 3: any way, they cannot accept that and they will fight

631
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 3: against that in the extreme. Yes, that's the that's the

632
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 3: kind of they cannot admit any type of flaw at all,

633
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 3: and so every time that if they make a mistake,

634
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 3: they'll gas like you that they didn't do it if

635
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: they if someone points out a flaw, they will just

636
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,360
Speaker 3: decimate them and completely discredit.

637
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 4: Fascinating they they'll do like a whole special maybe about

638
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 4: how they're.

639
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: Not if they are deeply I don't know that Chappelle

640
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,119
Speaker 1: is a narcissist, like at that level. I think he

641
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: is narcissistic traits because I think every comedian kind of

642
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,359
Speaker 1: has to to get up there and be like, you

643
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: should listen to what I'm talking.

644
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 4: Wasn't an original thought. I heard it from one of

645
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 4: his best friends.

646
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. I mean again, long pauses hours on stage,

647
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: he's he's checking some of the boxes.

648
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 2: But the thing is, narcissist narciss don't even mind to

649
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 2: be called narcissists.

650
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: That's kind of my favorite thing about them because they're like,

651
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: there's they see nothing wrong. Why would they wouldn't take

652
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 1: that as an insult because they don't have anything wrong

653
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: with them, so they're like, that's the way to be.

654
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: And also they're impervious to ever changing. It's the only,

655
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: it's one of the only. I can't say it's the

656
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 1: only because I don't know everything, but I think I

657
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: do the it's it's impervious to You can't fix a

658
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: narcissist because you have to see a fault in yourself

659
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: to be able to go I want to change, and

660
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: they will not do that.

661
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 2: So that's fascinating.

662
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 1: It would be great to be one because they will

663
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 1: never struggle because they don't admit to themselves. They can't

664
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: even have the I don't think they have any self

665
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: awareness to ever be sad about what they are because

666
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: they're the best. But it does come ultimately subconsciously from

667
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: a deep fear of insecurity and not being enough. But

668
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,959
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter that it does, and that doesn't make

669
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: you feel better if you're dealing with a narcissist to

670
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 1: know deep down there said because they're not they actually

671
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: don't feel that subconscious thing at all.

672
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 2: On any level, they are.

673
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 1: The best, and I just kind of I want to

674
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: be one. I do want to be. There's things I

675
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: want to be, And sometimes I kind of wish I

676
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: was a sociopath or a psycho, or like a narcissist psychopath.

677
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 2: But I think they're like unhappy.

678
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: They're deeply unhappy.

679
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 3: Narcissists do kill themselves. They do kill them Yes, it's

680
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 3: a it's common that a narcissist or a borderline will

681
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 3: kill themselves because if once the mask breaks down, if

682
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 3: at any point somehow you get through that mask, and

683
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 3: all of the tricks and all of the things that

684
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 3: they do to deflect against introspection don't stop working, and

685
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,959
Speaker 3: if any little tiny flaw comes through, they cannot handle it.

686
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 3: They get extremely depressed, angry, violent, even and so like

687
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 3: sometimes like even if it's just like a narcissist gets

688
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 3: a gray hair and it's like something that can't control,

689
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 3: and it's just like there's no denying it. Like sometimes

690
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 3: that that can like eat away at their soul and

691
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 3: until they, you know, can't take it anymore.

692
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 4: I don't worry about this narcissist in your life killing themselves,

693
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 4: because they were all threatening suicide is like, narcissists don't

694
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 4: commit suicide. They talk about it a lot or threaten

695
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 4: it a lot, but they don't, but borderlines do. Maybe

696
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 4: that therapist was wrong, though. I did see him walking

697
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 4: in the street with a paper cup where he disheveled

698
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 4: many years later, and I was like, oh uh, I

699
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 4: think he.

700
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 2: Did so well in life, therapist.

701
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: I think he will listened the street. He was either

702
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 1: homeless or very near there, and I was like, oh

703
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: my god, I might have had or something.

704
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

705
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 4: He would always be like, don't bother paying me. I

706
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 4: don't know how he paid his rent. There were many

707
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 4: months I saw him and he's like, don't worry about

708
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 4: paying me. I think he just enjoyed spouting off about stuff. Anyway,

709
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 4: he said, narcissists don't kill himself. I don't know.

710
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 3: I mean, I've read a bunch of I've read like

711
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 3: every book there is about narcissists and borderline and personality disorders,

712
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 3: and frequently they say narcissis killed the borderlines killed himselves

713
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 3: do a lot.

714
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 4: My guy didn't know what he was talking about.

715
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 3: Maybe, I mean, maybe it's true. Nobody really knows. I

716
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 3: just want to disclaim, is that these these all these

717
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 3: diagnoses and labels. It's like everybody's different. Even if you're

718
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 3: a narcissist, you might be different than another narcissist. These

719
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 3: are just general things, although I will say that if

720
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 3: you're they frequently exhibit the same behaviors, and like, sometimes

721
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 3: people will be in a relationship with a narcissist or

722
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 3: borderline and I can predict exactly how they're going to

723
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 3: act and what they're going to do in almost every situation.

724
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 3: So I don't know there's something to the diagnosis, but

725
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 3: it's the.

726
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: First thing you hear from someone that's kind of like

727
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 1: clueless that they're dating someone with borderline that you're like, oh,

728
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: telltale sign. Like has there been moments where you hear

729
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: something and you're like, I just want to inform you

730
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 1: this might be the case here, someone who might be

731
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: listening that's like dealing with something that they don't even

732
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: know would be the You just know someone like.

733
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 3: You just know it in your gut that they are

734
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 3: lying to you. You just know that they you can't

735
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 3: trust what they're saying. If they're a borderline, then not

736
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 3: only can you you just know in your gut that

737
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 3: they don't actually love you even though that they act

738
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 3: like it, but but you know that in your gut.

739
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 3: But also to a borderline versus a narcissis is like

740
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 3: a borderline will frequently not be able to handle any

741
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 3: discussion about anything that's wrong with the relationship and have

742
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 3: outbursts of mania and also anger, and can frequently switch

743
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 3: from being really amazing to really mean really fast, like

744
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 3: usually cruel for any human being to be. And you're like,

745
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 3: I can't believe you just said that to me. And

746
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 3: then you know, maybe a week later, I either deny

747
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 3: that they said that. They'll say you took it the

748
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 3: wrong way, or they will yeah yeah, or they will

749
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 3: not even remember that they said that. So it's like

750
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 3: stuff like that, but it's true. But here's how you

751
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 3: don't get into that. Here's how you don't get into

752
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 3: that situation. If you get into a relationship and for

753
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 3: the first month you believe this is too good to

754
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,760
Speaker 3: be true. They're just love bombing you. They're doing everything

755
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 3: you want, there are no problems. It seems like their

756
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 3: personality is like meshing absolutely perfectly with your personality. Guess

757
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 3: what they are doing that on purpose to trick you,

758
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 3: because they don't have a personality, and all they know

759
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 3: how to do is to mimic your personality and give

760
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 3: you exactly what you want so that you accept them.

761
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 3: And once you accept them into your vulnerable heart, they

762
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 3: will turn on you because they can't get too close

763
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: to you.

764
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: Well, you know, here's the thing. I got to put

765
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: a little blame on the person that falls for this stuff,

766
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 1: because and I'm not saying I do. I do everything.

767
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 1: I do so many things so wrong all the time.

768
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: But if someone loves you really soon, and it's just like,

769
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 1: I don't know, there's just something about you. I just

770
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,919
Speaker 1: someone who loves you after knowing you for a week.

771
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: Don't you know that they don't know you yet? And

772
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: so they're kind of full of shit. I guess I

773
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: think I'm coming at this from a perspective of I

774
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: don't really love myself, so I'm suspicious of anyone who

775
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: does in the first place, even after knowing me a

776
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: long time. So I think my low self esteem has

777
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: kind of protected me from these kinds of freaks, because

778
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 1: I have been love bombed at some points in the

779
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: beginning of things with certain guys, and I'm always like,

780
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: where where is this coming from?

781
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 2: Like how do you have this information?

782
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: We have not spoken enough for you to have formed

783
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: this opinion about me yet. And I'll say because I

784
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 1: remember one guy just saying like, you're so interesting. I've

785
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: been thinking about you NonStop. I love the way your

786
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: mind works. And I'm like, we've texted and DMed a

787
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: couple times. There's and I go, are you watching a

788
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 1: special of mine or so? And he's like yeah, and

789
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, maybe I can let that slide. But

790
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 1: then there were things like I can't wait to have

791
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 1: I remember one guy was the I've told Brian this.

792
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 1: I was telling the story to some friends of ours,

793
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: but he was the hottest guy. I've one of the

794
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: hottest people I've ever seen in my life. And I

795
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: was like talking to him almost kind of romantically. We're

796
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: feeling it out. And then early on he was like,

797
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: I can't wait to have Sunday snuggles with you. Not

798
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: only does that discuss me on just a I just

799
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: don't want to I don't like calling anything that, But

800
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: I also was like, why do you want to snuggle

801
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 1: with me already? That's a really intimate thing that you do.

802
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 1: I can understand wanting to fuck me already. I'll let

803
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: that slide. Like, I'm not gonna be total I'd be

804
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 1: grossed out by someone saying that, but I understand that

805
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 1: fucking really doesn't have to be predicated by like an

806
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: intimate connection. But Sunday snuggles.

807
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: Sound like you do, and that sounds like something I have.

808
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 1: To maybe start that phrase with you as well, Like

809
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: that sounds like something he made up with another girl

810
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: and is just like, oh, every girl knows about Sunday model.

811
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: But I just was like, you don't know me well

812
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 1: enough to want to snuggle me. We've never even met,

813
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: we never have touched, we've never looked each other in

814
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: each other's eyes in person, So why would you want

815
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 1: to do this with me?

816
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,439
Speaker 2: And it turned me off so much?

817
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 4: Wait, but you were down to fuck?

818
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,760
Speaker 1: No, no no. But if he would have said something

819
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: like I can't wait to be in the same room

820
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 1: as you and like grab you or what like, I

821
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 1: would have understood, like the sexual desire you can want

822
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 1: to Men can want to have sex with anyone without

823
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 1: seeing anything, and so can many women.

824
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 3: What was it anything?

825
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:26,360
Speaker 2: Anything?

826
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: Yes? But they but son, I just I don't know.

827
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: And then there was this other guy that was one

828
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: time kind of love bombing me of like you're so

829
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: intriguing and like I just can't get you out of

830
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: my mind. And we had barely talked, and I said

831
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 1: how many siblings do I have? And he was like what?

832
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: And I was like, if you like you seem to

833
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: know me so well and be so intrigued, do you

834
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: wanna do you know how many siblings I have? And

835
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 1: he was like, I have no idea, And I was like,

836
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: I think you need to know that before you're like

837
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: desperately yearning for me in this intellectual way or like

838
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 1: you're talking about like you know me really well, you

839
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 1: don't know even the most banal thing. And then I

840
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,280
Speaker 1: like the dad on.

841
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,280
Speaker 4: Love is Blind season whatever when they were in Seattle,

842
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 4: Remember what's her Name's? Dad was like, how many siblings

843
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 4: does she have? Or that's a great question to know

844
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 4: if someone knows you. It's just a that's a first

845
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 4: date question that should get out of the way, and

846
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 4: not that you should retain that information on the first date.

847
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 4: Maybe you'll need refreshers. I even with my friends, need

848
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 4: to be like.

849
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 2: How many what sibling are you?

850
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: Like it's it's fine, but someone professing how much they're

851
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: into you and how much they're ready to like move forward.

852
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: They should know that already, like they should want to

853
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: know those things about you. So anyway, he was like, whoa,

854
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 1: you just schooled me. He was like, you're so right,

855
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: that's so good. I'm going to put that in this

856
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: script I have because I'm writing about this narcissist who

857
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: all he does is talk about himself, and I needed

858
00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 1: some turning point where he's revealed to be one. And

859
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,359
Speaker 1: I think it's great if the other character says how

860
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: many siblings do I have? And I go, wait, okay,

861
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 1: you still don't know how stublings I have? And you

862
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 1: just took my idea it made your own, And it

863
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 1: was like it that just like, is there any have

864
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: you guys been love bombed early on? And will you

865
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:19,959
Speaker 1: tell me the other side of it where you don't

866
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: really care if he knows that stuff about you? Or

867
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:25,239
Speaker 1: maybe they're just so good at acting like they this

868
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: is the first time it's happened to them, and they

869
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: it's love at first sight.

870
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 2: I mean there's arguments for that as well.

871
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I kind of believe in love at first sight,

872
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 1: so why wouldn't I believe in the idea of someone

873
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: loving me immediately.

874
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 4: Well, I'll speak for an early experience. I got to

875
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,359
Speaker 4: San Diego. I didn't know anybody. I was a new

876
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 4: DJ on the radio there. I was twenty five, so

877
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 4: I really had no friends. And then I met this

878
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 4: guy and he was just like he said kind of

879
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 4: all the right shit, like right away. Like And it's

880
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 4: the same thing with people in cults, like how to

881
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 4: intelligent self aware people fall into a cult like so

882
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 4: many It's not like everybody is a ding dong no,

883
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 4: but it's usually you're in a vulnerable point in your life.

884
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 4: It's not like your personality is like the type that

885
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 4: would get into a cult. It's usually a finite moment

886
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 4: in your life that you're either alone, changing jobs, or

887
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 4: in some transitional period. Maybe you're you just had a

888
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:23,360
Speaker 4: breakup or whatever somebody died and you're kind of longing

889
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 4: for something or searching for something. I think I wanted

890
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,919
Speaker 4: connection and friends, and this guy was like, whoa, you

891
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 4: are fine, and which I didn't like at all. But

892
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,839
Speaker 4: then he was like, I'm gonna like I want to

893
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 4: be I want to like marry you, and I'm such

894
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 4: a like a romantic that I was like, whoa, maybe

895
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 4: this is it.

896
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 2: This is the guy I'm not I'm not opposed to that. Actually,

897
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,760
Speaker 2: uh so I guess first.

898
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 4: Meeting, so I'm being like, I'm going to marry you.

899
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,279
Speaker 1: Like just because you hear of the story, because I'm

900
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 1: a romantic too, and you hear the stories of guys

901
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 1: being like calling their mom being like I met the

902
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 1: girl I'm gonna mary tonight, and then it is yes,

903
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 1: little do you know that guy says it about every

904
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 1: single woman he meets, so it's abound to happen once

905
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 1: and the story will pay off, you know.

906
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 4: No, they're red flag, like Brian was listing, when they

907
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 4: want to hang out with you every day, male or female,

908
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 4: heterosexual you know not or same sex friends whatever. If

909
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 4: someone wants to hang out with you every single day,

910
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 4: they say, it's a red flag.

911
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: That was me with you in the beginning.

912
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, but we had dinner every night for like four

913
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 4: nights in a row and it wasn't more.

914
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 1: Me too.

915
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 2: It's like Vulder positions.

916
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 3: Well, well, you can love mom and friendships also, but

917
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 3: like the key, the key is you didn't at some

918
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 3: random point just turn on Anya and start decimating her

919
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:57,839
Speaker 3: entire being being as cruel as humanly possible to destroy her.

920
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I've had that with female friends. One developed

921
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 4: borderline personality as a result of very hard times and

922
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 4: drug addiction, and she was diagnosed with that later. I

923
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 4: don't think you have to be born with it. I

924
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 4: might be wrong. And then the other female friend, I

925
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 4: just didn't know that well and we I think I

926
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 4: was in another I'd just gotten out of a breakup,

927
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 4: and she was like, very knowledgeable about stuff, much older

928
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 4: than me, kind of took me under her wing. I

929
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 4: had always thought she was very like fascinating, almost like

930
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 4: the Oprah of this one friend community I had. And then, yeah,

931
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 4: she exploded on me one day in such a rage.

932
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 4: But thank god I had sort of what you were

933
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:42,320
Speaker 4: talking about, Nikki, like this baseline value system that was

934
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 4: like I'm not no, no, no, no no, Like this

935
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 4: isn't a match for me.

936
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:48,399
Speaker 5: No.

937
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 4: It was just like you with the guy being like

938
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 4: I want to be with you, but he doesn't know

939
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 4: your siblings name. I was just like, you don't talk

940
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 4: to me, like no one talks to me like this,

941
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 4: Like I don't have out, I don't have drama on

942
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 4: the street like she did it on the street and

943
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 4: was like, yeah, controlling and it was insane.

944
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:09,399
Speaker 1: Brian, You've read the books. Why do they snap like this?

945
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: Is it because of there's like you said, there's something

946
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: that happens that they can't control and it breaks their

947
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 1: oh psyche or what They're always trying to get something?

948
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 1: What are you going to get out of screaming at

949
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 1: someone on the street. Why do they snap like? Is

950
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 1: this a It's going against what they want, which is

951
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,800
Speaker 1: like survival and to like feed off of people.

952
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 2: It often pushes people away. What would be why do

953
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 2: they do that?

954
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 3: It depends on the situation. So if like you're a

955
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 3: borderline in a relationship and then you spend the first

956
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 3: several months or even maybe up to like a year,

957
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,399
Speaker 3: I mean, I can't imagine having a year of love

958
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 3: bombing and then having it turned. But they'll be love

959
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 3: bombing you and love bombing you and love bombing you,

960
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden, the borderline will feel

961
00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 3: like they are too close to you and they can't

962
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 3: be too close. But they also don't want to be

963
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 3: too far away, so they love bomb ube to get

964
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,320
Speaker 3: in there. They really want to get in there because

965
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 3: being far away is bad for them, and they don't

966
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 3: want to be alone, that's for sure. And then if

967
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 3: they get too close, they all of a sudden get

968
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 3: anxiety about being too close and they need to do

969
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 3: something to push you away. So that's when they'll turn

970
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 3: on you. It's black and white thinking where they'll just

971
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, you go from I love you

972
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 3: so much to you're the devil and I hate you

973
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:36,240
Speaker 3: because there's something about being that close that's scary, because

974
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 3: I mean, if you want to get into like their

975
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,359
Speaker 3: childhood trauma or whatever, it's because when they.

976
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 2: Have borderlines are made from trauma.

977
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 3: I don't know exactly, but it's definitely you know, some

978
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 3: people say that, Like some people say that like they

979
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,919
Speaker 3: don't nobody knows why. But some people says, yeah, it's

980
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 3: like bunyans.

981
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: People say it's hereditary, and I think it's it's always

982
00:44:58,239 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: caused by shoes.

983
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Like some people say, like you can become

984
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 3: a narcissistic because you were held too much as a baby,

985
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 3: or you can become a borderline or because you were

986
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,359
Speaker 3: because you weren't held enough as a baby. Yeah, it's

987
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 3: just like but.

988
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 6: It sounds like they're both anxious and avoidant attached.

989
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 3: Yeah soople So people with borderline have dealt with every

990
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 3: time they get close or have a close relationship, they

991
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 3: get hurt, and their whole existence is to avoid that pain.

992
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 3: At the same time, they probably felt like they didn't

993
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,800
Speaker 3: get enough love from people they cared about, like their parents,

994
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 3: and so they that's why they love bomb is because

995
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 3: they try to become the perfect person that will receive

996
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 3: this love. But then they get scared because they're like, well,

997
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 3: now that I have this love, I'm afraid that I'm

998
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 3: going to get hurt and damage, so I'm gonna push

999
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 3: you away. So then they turn on you, because the

1000
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 3: best way to protect yourself from love is to convince

1001
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 3: yourself I don't love this person anymore. Fact, that person's

1002
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 3: a fucking devil who I hate, who stinks like shit.

1003
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 3: I would never want to have sex within the rest

1004
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 3: of my life. In fact, if this person died, I'd

1005
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,840
Speaker 3: be happy. Like that's literally what they convinced themselves.

1006
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 2: They have traces of this.

1007
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 1: I think I don't ever blow up at the person,

1008
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:22,240
Speaker 1: but privately, I when I am, but when I feel

1009
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: anger towards someone, it turns into like I want to

1010
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 1: cut it off. I hate them, like I can go

1011
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 1: to hate so fast, and I always talk myself out

1012
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: of it, and luckily I don't ever say it to

1013
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 1: the person because I'm too scared of I always thinking

1014
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 1: ahead and going like what if I regret this? So

1015
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 1: I never actually put into action these might be like,

1016
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: but I do have intense like I fucking hate them.

1017
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 2: I never want to see them again. They're discussed.

1018
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:55,240
Speaker 1: I say the meanest shit about oh not good guys,

1019
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: like about you know, people who are still in my life,

1020
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 1: and I've said things about the that if they knew

1021
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: that I said that or thought that I'd be gone,

1022
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 1: but I didn't really think that.

1023
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 2: It was just like my brain got hijacked.

1024
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:07,439
Speaker 1: What do I do?

1025
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 2: Like should I feel bad about it? I can't stop it?

1026
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 3: You're you are you have traits, but you're you're like

1027
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:20,280
Speaker 3: not You're like right outside the door of a personality disorder,

1028
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 3: but you don't have one because you're knocking on the door,

1029
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 3: and like you know, obviously part of having one, it's

1030
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 3: fun to have one, because you it's like you're a

1031
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 3: fuck when you if you get into a relationship with

1032
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 3: someone with a personality disorder and you're in one for

1033
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: a really long time. You get what they call fleas,

1034
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 3: which is you start to adapt the traits of someone

1035
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 3: with the personality disorder. And I did that after I

1036
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,759
Speaker 3: got out of a relationship with a borderline, and I

1037
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 3: was a fuck. That was part of why I was

1038
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 3: I got so good at dating was because like I

1039
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 3: just I just knew all I could do all the

1040
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 3: tricks that the borderline did.

1041
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 4: But like this is so true.

1042
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 3: You may have fleas, Please, you might have fleas, but

1043
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 3: I don't think you have a personal disorder, because you're

1044
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 3: far too empathetic and introspective. Like those two things do

1045
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 3: not combine with Borderlines will go to therapy, but they

1046
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 3: won't change. They'll go to therapy just to affirm and

1047
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 3: to build themselves up. I don't think. I mean, yes, Look,

1048
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:25,879
Speaker 3: I want to just clarify I'm speaking about borderlines right now,

1049
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 3: like they're animals, and they're not animals. There are plenty

1050
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 3: of borderlines who have been to therapy and are willing

1051
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:35,280
Speaker 3: to change. And I know borderlines who like are are

1052
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 3: absolutely amazing people. But in order to do that, you

1053
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:42,440
Speaker 3: need to go to therapy. You need to accept therapy.

1054
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 3: You need to be like diagnosed as a borderline and

1055
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 3: then to change and then do basically right neurolinguistic programming.

1056
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 3: You need to you need to look at you need

1057
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 3: to do behavioral cognitive therapy where you go like, okay,

1058
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 3: every thing am I being is telling me that I

1059
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,359
Speaker 3: should turn on this person and hate them, And then

1060
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 3: you need to train yourself to be like that's not right,

1061
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 3: even though that's exactly what I want to do. I

1062
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 3: need I need to know that that's not how like

1063
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 3: a standard brain works or how it or a good thing,

1064
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:21,879
Speaker 3: and fight against that until eventually you can train your

1065
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 3: brain to not be borderline anymore. And I've seen I've

1066
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 3: seen it happen.

1067
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: Where it's like people can pick it up. You could

1068
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:28,879
Speaker 1: probably drop it off.

1069
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can drop it out if it's much harder

1070
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 3: if you were born with this, and like it's a

1071
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 3: trauma that is intrinsic into your the core of your

1072
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:40,280
Speaker 3: like brain stem that like that's really hard, but it's possible.

1073
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 3: And just because you're diagnosed with borderline does not mean

1074
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 3: you can't change.

1075
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: And can I say something ameliorate those things? I love

1076
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: the word amelia or it's a beautiful thing for a

1077
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: little mora and my daughter that yeah. By the way,

1078
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: can I.

1079
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 4: Also just quickly say I had a song in this

1080
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 4: film called Borderline the film and it's an excellent docum

1081
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 4: menory directed by Rebby Rattner, and you you should check

1082
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 4: it out. It's really really good.

1083
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 1: Border Way, why did you say that name?

1084
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 2: Like anyone would know how to spell it?

1085
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 1: Rebby?

1086
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 4: Rebby?

1087
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 1: How do you spell that?

1088
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 4: Uh Ari?

1089
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 1: Bb I E?

1090
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 4: I think all right, anyway, it's it's good and it

1091
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:22,879
Speaker 4: follows a borderline around or a couple of them, and

1092
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,840
Speaker 4: it's so interesting in their therapy sessions and everything, so

1093
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:26,920
Speaker 4: you can learn more about oh.

1094
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is all like so fascinating.

1095
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 1: What I was gleaming onto about what Brian was saying

1096
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 1: is that you have to want to change, or that

1097
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: you have to be like I don't want to be

1098
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: this way anymore I was listening to. I'll just say

1099
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,800
Speaker 1: this vaguely if anyone wants to bite about someone saying

1100
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 1: recently in my life that they notice things about themselves,

1101
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: like their behavior. I don't relate to feeling out of

1102
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 1: control with the way I'm reacting to something, I guess,

1103
00:50:58,160 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 1: and you might be like, yes, you do Nikey all

1104
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 1: the so maybe enlighten me if I'm if I'm wrong

1105
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: about this, I've never felt frustrated like I hate the

1106
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 1: way I am and the things I like and the

1107
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 1: things I don't like and the level of talent I

1108
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 1: have I fucking hate and I wish all the time

1109
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 1: I could be different in that way, Like I wish

1110
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 1: I liked hiking, I wish I liked I wish I

1111
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 1: worked harder, like all those things. But I'm never like,

1112
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:22,399
Speaker 1: I'm so mad that I cried about this thing. I'm

1113
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 1: so And yes I've said before like I wish I

1114
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 1: could cry more, but it's I've never been mad at

1115
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,319
Speaker 1: my like the way I react to something, And I

1116
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 1: feel like I've heard people say they're upset about the

1117
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: way that they react and they're like, wish they could

1118
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 1: react better, And I want to understand that. And is

1119
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 1: that a narcissis of me to never question the way

1120
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,759
Speaker 1: I act? Like sometimes I'm like, oh, that was a

1121
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 1: little embarrassing, but I'm not, like, I'm never so insanely

1122
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 1: frustrated by the way I've reacted.

1123
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 3: So potentially maybe you are. You could just be an

1124
00:51:54,760 --> 00:52:01,919
Speaker 3: extremely high functioning narcissist who has learned how to do

1125
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 3: certain things to make people believe that you're not so like.

1126
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 3: I don't think this is true, but it could be

1127
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:14,719
Speaker 3: that your empathy is not real. It's not real, that

1128
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 3: your empathy is behavioral meat and cheese at night or no,

1129
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 3: or you're just like I learned that I can get

1130
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:26,320
Speaker 3: away with certain things if that I then follow it

1131
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 3: up with extreme empathy. Or I learned that as long

1132
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 3: as I mimic someone who's introspective, then people won't believe

1133
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 3: that I have personality.

1134
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: That's what a narcissist would say. It's like, let's change

1135
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: the subject. No, that doesn't anything like me.

1136
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 6: I think what you're saying is is consistent with like.

1137
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 6: You let people off the hook, and then you are

1138
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 6: also really good at letting yourself off the hook. So

1139
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 6: I think it's just you you.

1140
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 1: Practice what you preach. Maybe that's it of I'm just

1141
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: never embarrassed by my like outbursts.

1142
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 2: Really, it's it's rare that.

1143
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: I mean, there's been there's been times, but I just

1144
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 1: like it already happens, So what am I gonna do?

1145
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 1: It's more about the things I don't do that I

1146
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 1: am filled with regret and hatred for myself is all

1147
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: the things I don't say, and the things I and

1148
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 1: just the things that I don't have, like im I

1149
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 1: more have, Like I'm more fretting about that. But I've

1150
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: heard even like you guys speak to the fact that like,

1151
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 1: why do I let this thing derail me? Or something like,

1152
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 1: I guess I never and I let things derail me

1153
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 1: all the time, but I'm never like, what can I

1154
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 1: do to not let this derail me? I feel inherently

1155
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: I'm right to be derailed. I am right to hate

1156
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: that I don't have enough talent that Taylor Swift has.

1157
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:48,320
Speaker 1: Why why wouldn't I be a little upset and angry

1158
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 1: that I did not get the lottery in that way

1159
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 1: that she got the lottery? You know, Like, and I

1160
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,360
Speaker 1: know that's stupid because most people are not going to

1161
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 1: hit the lottery. Why spend your whole life being mad

1162
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 1: about it? But I know I'm right to be a

1163
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 1: little bit jealous that someone else scot this thing that

1164
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 1: makes your life so much easier in my mind, so

1165
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,240
Speaker 1: I'm never like, why do I I'm mad? I feel

1166
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:11,160
Speaker 1: that way, and when I tried it, when people try

1167
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 1: to fix that about me, like except who you are.

1168
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 1: It's it's going in one ear and out the other,

1169
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:19,400
Speaker 1: because I know that I'm right to feel short changed

1170
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 1: in many ways. And I know that you're supposed to

1171
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: focus on what you have and maybe compare yourself to

1172
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 1: people who don't have those things, and that's supposed to

1173
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 1: make you feel better. And I do that as well,

1174
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:30,760
Speaker 1: but it doesn't change the fact that I also compare

1175
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 1: myself to people who just have better bone structure than me,

1176
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: or a better voice or you know whatever can hold

1177
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 1: a pick properly and strum, which I'll never be able

1178
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 1: to do relate to.

1179
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 4: I know that I'm right, What do you mean?

1180
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 1: I know that I'm correct in feeling angry that I

1181
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 1: wasn't born prettier or whatever it is I'm upset about

1182
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 1: that day. I know it's stupid. I know that I

1183
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: know that I'm prettier than other people, and people could

1184
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:01,880
Speaker 1: be envious of me because or it could be foolish,

1185
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,880
Speaker 1: but it's also but it is correct because I want

1186
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 1: something and they have it, So why wouldn't I be

1187
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: correct in being jealous of that?

1188
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 4: I don't get that at all at all, really at all.

1189
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 4: It's like it doesn't compute, like, how can something be

1190
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:19,840
Speaker 4: foolish and correct? Like it cannot be both.

1191
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: I think it can, like I can feel ridiculous that

1192
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 1: this is my feeling, or I can feel like I

1193
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:32,320
Speaker 1: know this isn't it's you know, not foolish embarrassing to admit,

1194
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 1: I guess because I have so many riches and I

1195
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:37,359
Speaker 1: was born with so much privilege and all of these things.

1196
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 1: So it feels foolish in that way. But it is

1197
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 1: also correct that there are people that have it way

1198
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: better off than me and I should be jealous of them.

1199
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:48,840
Speaker 4: That is not true. Okay, it is just an opinion

1200
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 4: but not a fact.

1201
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 1: But you gets a fact.

1202
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 2: See, this is the difference. It is a hundred percent fact.

1203
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 4: It's not a fact. It cannot be proven as a fact,

1204
00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 4: can it?

1205
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:01,240
Speaker 1: What can't be that I'm not the guitar and someone

1206
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 1: else's more affinity for it, and that I am frustrated by.

1207
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 4: That that one should be envious of another.

1208
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 1: I think it is if I want to be a

1209
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 1: great guitar player, and that is my biggest goal for

1210
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,839
Speaker 1: myself ever, is to be able to like strum efficiently,

1211
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 1: and I do not have the ability to do that

1212
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 1: no matter how much I practice, it doesn't get better.

1213
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:27,320
Speaker 1: And there are people that just have naturally never struggled

1214
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 1: with strumming. It is a fact that I should be

1215
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: envious of them. No, it's not because it's something I

1216
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: want on you. No, it's it's it's just you're a feeling.

1217
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 4: You just have this opinion, but it is.

1218
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 3: You have to.

1219
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 6: Compare it backwards also, because there are people who are

1220
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,200
Speaker 6: worse than you, who can't even play as good as

1221
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 6: you play, right.

1222
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 1: And I and yes, I can feel grateful for that,

1223
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 1: but I also at the same time I can still

1224
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 1: be pissed off that I don't have this thing and

1225
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 1: I am one hundred per sent entitled to that. And

1226
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:01,919
Speaker 1: no one.

1227
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 4: Feeling is valid. Yes, you're feeling as valid, But saying

1228
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 4: that one should feel a certain way and that is

1229
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 4: a fact is preposterous.

1230
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 2: I guess the word should is the key phrase.

1231
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 4: Yes, there are no should.

1232
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if you're doing the math.

1233
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: This person wants this thing, this other person has this thing,

1234
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:29,400
Speaker 1: Therefore that person should feel envious of that person.

1235
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 4: Wow, that person's envy makes sense.

1236
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 1: I should go to break And let's not keep talking

1237
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 1: about this because we're not going to come to an

1238
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:40,200
Speaker 1: understanding because I know I'm right, because I'm probably a

1239
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 1: closet narcissist. Yeah, I wish.

1240
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 2: All right, we're back, Let's get to Reddit dump. Let's

1241
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 2: do a segment.

1242
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 3: Can I just say before that that that that conversation

1243
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 3: was slightly triggering because that I don't want to say

1244
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 3: slightly triggering, never mind.

1245
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:59,440
Speaker 2: I actually like it activating.

1246
00:57:59,480 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 1: That's on my.

1247
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 3: Because a thing that I fought with my one of

1248
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: my exes, the thing that I fought with her about

1249
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 3: all the time was the fact that just because you

1250
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 3: feel a certain way doesn't mean that that doesn't change reality.

1251
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 3: You know, like yes, and that's that's a sign of

1252
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 3: borderlines that they always say. Every borderline, and I don't

1253
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 3: care who you are, every borderline will say this phrase,

1254
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 3: I feel things more intensely than the normal person. And

1255
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 3: because of that, frequently that causes problems because they they

1256
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 3: do feel this thing, but that doesn't mean it's connected

1257
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 3: to anything that actually happened or any sort of reality

1258
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:47,360
Speaker 3: that's occurring. And so but then what do you do

1259
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 3: with it?

1260
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:50,680
Speaker 1: Because my biggest thing is that people are always like

1261
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 1: you gotta like validate your feelings and my whole childhood

1262
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: was no offense, Mom and dad, if you're listening, but

1263
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 1: my feelings did not get heard in the way that

1264
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 1: I needed that I heard because I had a lot

1265
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:02,919
Speaker 1: of feelings as a child. There is the things I've

1266
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 1: come I've paid thousands of dollars to have this diagnosed.

1267
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 1: So it's true, Mom and Dad, I did not have

1268
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 1: my feelings met. I was. If I cried about something,

1269
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 1: it was like, come off it, what are you crying about?

1270
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:18,840
Speaker 1: Or if I was angry about something, you this is

1271
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 1: too much. You are being ridiculous. So now I am

1272
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 1: been told by therapists, honor your feelings. Your feelings are valid,

1273
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 1: your feelings are real. So now I'm all fucked up

1274
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 1: because now I'm trying this is making so much sense

1275
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:34,160
Speaker 1: to me.

1276
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 6: Now, So you you just like being like or feeling

1277
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 6: justified in the way that you feel is how you

1278
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:44,440
Speaker 6: are protecting yourself.

1279
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 1: How you're protecting like the child is not heard. Yeah,

1280
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:50,960
Speaker 1: because like I'm the only one who can believe it.

1281
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 1: So I only have me to trust that this is

1282
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 1: real anger or real sadness, because no one else will

1283
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 1: or I didn't have a course of people saying, oh wow,

1284
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 1: that is sad because it never rarely was whatever I

1285
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 1: was crying about and not a reason enough to cry

1286
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 1: about it. Even into adulthood, I cry about things and

1287
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 1: was met with what are you crying about? You shouldn't

1288
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have these emotions, so you have to self soothe, right,

1289
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 1: like you were, like double down on, like, yes it is,

1290
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 1: it is real and I'm the only one who believes

1291
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: and it does. I don't need your validation because that's

1292
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 1: the only way that I'm going to even be able

1293
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 1: to process this because otherwise I'll trust you and push

1294
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 1: it down.

1295
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 5: Still, right, it has to be, and that's really really

1296
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 5: healthy to validate your feelings and be like, this is

1297
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 5: totally valid no matter how I feel envy, jealousy, anger, rage, sadness.

1298
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 4: This is a this is a real feeling.

1299
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 1: How is that different than saying I should feel.

1300
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 4: This way, because it's like should take that word out

1301
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 4: of the Vokay, it's just not helpful. So when this

1302
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 4: this validation thing goes too far, you know, he talks

1303
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 4: about any.

1304
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 1: Following instructions I'm doing but a normal human would do so,

1305
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 1: which is something I struggle with, is like I'm different,

1306
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 1: so if I say the word should.

1307
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 2: It validates to me that I'm not crazy.

1308
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 4: Okay, let's change should to makes perfect sense. Should is

1309
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 4: take an action, Nikki, you need to take an act

1310
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 4: you need or like you should is like God in

1311
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 4: the air with his finger to be, like, you should

1312
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 4: be jealous to be a good person, Like you should

1313
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 4: be envious, and it's just not helpful to be envious

1314
01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:38,439
Speaker 4: all the time, like comparison is the thief of joy,

1315
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 4: right Shakespeare said it, or something so like, hey, mommy,

1316
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 4: I feel really envious of Sally because she has more

1317
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:49,160
Speaker 4: money than I have and we're poor. You should feel

1318
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 4: envious because wealth is something we all aspire to. That's

1319
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 4: not helpful. But like, oh, I totally get while you're envious. Yeah,

1320
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 4: Sally does seem to have a lot of stuff, but

1321
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 4: you know what we have. Sally's dad left them and

1322
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,120
Speaker 4: they're divorced, and Sally's mom is miserable. But we have

1323
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 4: quite a happy family here, and we have a dog,

1324
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 4: like you know what I mean, she's it's like validate

1325
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 4: the child's feelings, like, but do not tell them you

1326
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,560
Speaker 4: should be envious, in fact, because then you're going to

1327
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 4: spend your whole fuck you should spend your whole life

1328
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,520
Speaker 4: being envious. When you grow up, you're going to see

1329
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 4: supermodels that are really skinny. You should want to be

1330
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 4: skinny like them too.

1331
01:02:23,920 --> 01:02:24,600
Speaker 1: You should have that.

1332
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,600
Speaker 3: That is a key difference is that you need to

1333
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:31,240
Speaker 3: You want your feelings validated so that you're not gas lit,

1334
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 3: so that you're like, I am feeling this way. You

1335
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:35,320
Speaker 3: don't want people to say like, you're not feeling this

1336
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:37,919
Speaker 3: way or it's wrong to feel this way. You want

1337
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:40,920
Speaker 3: someone to say, well, I understand how you could feel

1338
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:43,800
Speaker 3: this way, so that your feelings are validated. But the

1339
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:48,200
Speaker 3: key difference between just validation and what like a borderline

1340
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 3: does is just because you feel a certain way does

1341
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:56,400
Speaker 3: not mean that that justifies actions you might take based

1342
01:02:56,440 --> 01:03:01,800
Speaker 3: on those feelings. Those feelings, those feelings might guide you.

1343
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 3: You might feel angry at somebody and it's like, I

1344
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 3: understand why you feel angry, but that doesn't mean that

1345
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 3: what they did actually is just it actually should anger you.

1346
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:14,000
Speaker 3: It's not a should, right.

1347
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 7: It just reminded me of this joke I was listening

1348
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 7: to I'm Like on a Luis K tear right now,

1349
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,320
Speaker 7: and I think that my favorite joke ever written because

1350
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,920
Speaker 7: is just the perfect mixture of dark and also a

1351
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 7: great idea and like you just can't help but laugh

1352
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 7: about it.

1353
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:34,479
Speaker 1: Is that if murder were legal, like you, everyone would

1354
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 1: do it. It would be happening all of the time. The

1355
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 1: only reason it's not happening is because it's not legal.

1356
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:42,439
Speaker 1: And if people didn't murder, if the murder were legal,

1357
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 1: and there you met someone that was like, I've just

1358
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 1: never murdered anyone, you'd go like, oh God, I don't

1359
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 1: want to hang out with that person. And he was

1360
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:51,440
Speaker 1: like most of the people being murdered would be children.

1361
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 1: By the way, people would just be killing their children constantly.

1362
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 1: It would be a problem. They would be like, we

1363
01:03:57,680 --> 01:03:59,480
Speaker 1: have to start cleaning up. If you murder your kid,

1364
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 1: you have to clean up your murdered kid. So funny,

1365
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:05,720
Speaker 1: but it was just about like that feeling like it

1366
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:10,439
Speaker 1: reminded me of like you should take action, and and yeah,

1367
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 1: I guess that's the That's the other hurdle that I

1368
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 1: come to is that when I'm feeling something I wanna

1369
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:20,680
Speaker 1: feelings aren't enough, then that's ridiculous. Then feelings, if you're

1370
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:23,360
Speaker 1: not gonna do something with them, then they are stupid,

1371
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,360
Speaker 1: Like and then you're just being placated, like oh you Oh,

1372
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:30,200
Speaker 1: it's understandable you feel this way, but you're kind of

1373
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 1: rolling your eyes like Jesus Christ, she's fucking losing her

1374
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,560
Speaker 1: mind about this doll whose hair isn't straight or whatever

1375
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:38,600
Speaker 1: I used to cry about as a kid, Like there's

1376
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 1: still that, like, oh, Nikki, that's so sad, but like

1377
01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 1: looking at each other like what the fuck is wrong

1378
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 1: with our child? EJ Like I would catch those glances,

1379
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 1: and that I think is where you're talk where now

1380
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:53,360
Speaker 1: I'm getting activated because you're like, it doesn't your action

1381
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 1: should not. You didn't. You don't get to act on it,

1382
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,400
Speaker 1: and I want to act on it. I e sob

1383
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:02,720
Speaker 1: wild and hurl my body around a van, a moving van,

1384
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 1: because it's nothing. He doesn't have.

1385
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,480
Speaker 4: Streaming about it. You should. Like the other day, we

1386
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:11,480
Speaker 4: had a friend is very angry and she took Nikki's

1387
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:14,560
Speaker 4: advice and listened to a Taylor Swift song and really

1388
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:17,840
Speaker 4: loud and raged in her car and screamed to the song.

1389
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:20,520
Speaker 4: And it was really cathartic for her. She didn't hurt anybody,

1390
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:23,560
Speaker 4: she didn't yell at anybody, she didn't fire off.

1391
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 1: Any and this is why we can't have nice things.

1392
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:31,560
Speaker 4: And that's a healthy use of anger. Like she got

1393
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:34,120
Speaker 4: her feelings validated by all of us on the Girls Chat,

1394
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,280
Speaker 4: and then she was able to express it in a

1395
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:38,040
Speaker 4: healthy way.

1396
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, because you don't have control.

1397
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:42,480
Speaker 4: Murder three people and throw them into a bog.

1398
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 3: You don't have control over your feelings. Your feelings just

1399
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:49,000
Speaker 3: come up from your subconscious and so you can't say

1400
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 3: that someone feeling something is wrong or right, or that

1401
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:53,960
Speaker 3: you should or shouldn't feel a certain way. You don't

1402
01:05:53,960 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 3: have any control over it. They just come. But like,

1403
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 3: imagine a scenario where you're driving your car and then

1404
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 3: someone cuts you off and then you feel so angry

1405
01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:07,800
Speaker 3: that you want to kill the other person. Yeah, you

1406
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 3: can't just go kill the other person because you feel angry.

1407
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:14,360
Speaker 1: That was how Louie got into this. Betty's like, when

1408
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:17,680
Speaker 1: I'm driving, it's the worst person I've ever I'm just like, oh,

1409
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 1: fucking kill you. And it's like why because you had

1410
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:22,200
Speaker 1: to go, Like you had to push on the brake

1411
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,320
Speaker 1: for two seconds? Yeah, Like why does it elicit? And

1412
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 1: we're all driving these weapons around other weapons, It should

1413
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:32,200
Speaker 1: be the time that we're most compassionate why does this

1414
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:33,720
Speaker 1: time bring out the worst in us?

1415
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:34,280
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1416
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, you shouldn't be able to kill someone.

1417
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:36,840
Speaker 1: I get that.

1418
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 3: Your emotions, even though they feel real, and even if

1419
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 3: you feel them more than others, they do not justify

1420
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:44,080
Speaker 3: your actions.

1421
01:06:46,280 --> 01:06:49,080
Speaker 4: Now it makes sense, you Pie, You say this phrase

1422
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:52,320
Speaker 4: a lot. I know I'm right. You say I know

1423
01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:54,439
Speaker 4: I'm right a lot, Like I know I'm right about

1424
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 4: Matchboks twenty And if you, guys, if anyone comes at

1425
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 4: me about Matchboks twenty, try I You're just wrong, or

1426
01:06:59,680 --> 01:07:04,960
Speaker 4: like Swift, I know I'm right, yeah, And like I

1427
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,880
Speaker 4: know I'm right to feel whatever we were talking about earlier,

1428
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 4: Like I know I'm right to be Yeah. And that's

1429
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 4: because what you just revealed today, which was so interesting,

1430
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 4: that you did not have your little childhood feelings validated,

1431
01:07:19,960 --> 01:07:23,560
Speaker 4: truly validated. So this is your adult way of being,

1432
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:26,160
Speaker 4: Like I'm not crazy, and I.

1433
01:07:26,080 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 3: Am like the reason you're a comedian self parenting, I

1434
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 3: mean you.

1435
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:37,720
Speaker 1: Self preservation, and say, I'm not that's the thing I'm

1436
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 1: I'm like having a narcissist time where it's like you

1437
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:41,520
Speaker 1: can say I'm wrong all you want, and I'm just

1438
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:45,200
Speaker 1: like poor Anya, doesn't.

1439
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:48,320
Speaker 4: You've helped me with this before, Like I have I

1440
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 4: have bad trauma around cheating, and it's like I have

1441
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 4: these very valid feelings sometimes that are really painful, that

1442
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:03,240
Speaker 4: are like I'm afraid of being betrayed, or I'm afraid

1443
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:06,840
Speaker 4: of being cheated on, or I'm like jealous, envious of

1444
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:12,320
Speaker 4: jealous of somebody, and and I just have to like

1445
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:15,560
Speaker 4: be super gentle with myself and be like, those are

1446
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:17,680
Speaker 4: really valid feelings. If I go to a place of

1447
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:20,600
Speaker 4: like you're fucking nuts, get over this, like just be

1448
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:24,160
Speaker 4: a cool girl, stop with this, it doesn't do anything,

1449
01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:26,000
Speaker 4: like it just makes it worse. But if I can

1450
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:27,959
Speaker 4: just be like, wow, you had a lot of trauma,

1451
01:08:28,320 --> 01:08:31,120
Speaker 4: so much trauma around this, and it was not fair

1452
01:08:31,479 --> 01:08:35,080
Speaker 4: and it was not cool, that helps to just be like, oh,

1453
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,800
Speaker 4: there's a lot in me that like needs healing and

1454
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 4: I need to be patient with that part of me.

1455
01:08:39,840 --> 01:08:42,800
Speaker 4: But then with the action that it's not like and

1456
01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 4: I'm right to feel this because all men are fucking cheaters.

1457
01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:48,320
Speaker 4: That's where I want to go with it. There's a

1458
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 4: part of me that wants to go there, like and

1459
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:52,560
Speaker 4: I know I'm fucking right because I have all this evidence.

1460
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:55,160
Speaker 4: So I am right, that all men will cheat and

1461
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,400
Speaker 4: you and like all this shit, But it's like, no,

1462
01:08:58,439 --> 01:09:03,040
Speaker 4: the more mature your conclusion is deal with your feelings.

1463
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:06,320
Speaker 4: They are valid, but deal with them in a healthy way. No,

1464
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:10,960
Speaker 4: try to trust trustworthy people. They are out there, you know,

1465
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:13,599
Speaker 4: choose healthy relationships, et cetera, et cetera.

1466
01:09:14,479 --> 01:09:16,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, I relate to that black and white thinking of

1467
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:20,479
Speaker 1: like they're all like, I'm like every woman that is

1468
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:24,280
Speaker 1: regarded as the hottest woman is thin and has great

1469
01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:27,479
Speaker 1: bone structure and her skin isn't sagging off her face

1470
01:09:27,479 --> 01:09:30,720
Speaker 1: in the ways mine is. So I literally am horrific

1471
01:09:31,320 --> 01:09:34,439
Speaker 1: and should probably kill myself because what's the point if

1472
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:37,639
Speaker 1: that's all you should aspire to be, Like, that's where

1473
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 1: my mind goes, to just kill yourself if you just

1474
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:43,479
Speaker 1: can't be the best, or if you know in the

1475
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:45,400
Speaker 1: lens that you're saying it. If I felt the way

1476
01:09:45,439 --> 01:09:47,720
Speaker 1: about cheating, I'd be like, you're never going to find

1477
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:51,200
Speaker 1: a man who is All men cheat. All men want

1478
01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:53,559
Speaker 1: to cheat, even if they don't cheat, they want to,

1479
01:09:53,640 --> 01:09:55,920
Speaker 1: and even that bothers me. So I'll just never fucking

1480
01:09:56,120 --> 01:10:00,000
Speaker 1: ever trust a man. Right, But there's always exceptions. There

1481
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:05,280
Speaker 1: are people that find other like, And my point it

1482
01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:07,920
Speaker 1: always is with like. People are like, but there are

1483
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:10,680
Speaker 1: men who are attracted to other things. I'm like, but

1484
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:13,680
Speaker 1: they'd rather have something else. And I never want to

1485
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:16,400
Speaker 1: be an exception because the guy's like, well, I can't

1486
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:20,240
Speaker 1: get Emily Radiszowski, so I guess I'll settle on Nicki Glazer. Like,

1487
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:23,400
Speaker 1: if you want someone else more than me, I don't

1488
01:10:23,439 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 1: want to be with you. I want to be the

1489
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:28,960
Speaker 1: number one thing you could ever imagine achieving in your life.

1490
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:31,160
Speaker 1: And there's no one better than me, which is insane

1491
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:33,960
Speaker 1: because there's always going to be someone more attractive than you,

1492
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:35,920
Speaker 1: especially as we age.

1493
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:40,360
Speaker 4: Dude, final thought, Yeah, the word you just said you

1494
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:43,639
Speaker 4: have to discuss with your therapist because that is so telling.

1495
01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:49,400
Speaker 4: You said achieve. Yes, you said achieve about Nicki Glazer,

1496
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 4: a guy saying I'm going to achieve Nicki Gaz.

1497
01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:57,479
Speaker 1: I want to be That's why I don't mind if

1498
01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 1: my boyfriend is attracted to other women or is intimate

1499
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 1: with other women, because if he stays with me, I

1500
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:07,920
Speaker 1: I'm constantly proving to myself that I am the best

1501
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:09,840
Speaker 1: and that he hasn't left me for her yet, so

1502
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 1: like he can go sample other cakes, but I'm the

1503
01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:15,920
Speaker 1: one he's eaten late at night, Like I'm the one

1504
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:16,679
Speaker 1: he's taking home.

1505
01:11:17,280 --> 01:11:18,040
Speaker 2: True constantly.

1506
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:21,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't does other stuff because it's like

1507
01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:24,600
Speaker 1: that's just stuff to see if he wants it. But

1508
01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:27,160
Speaker 1: guess what, he doesn't. And I keep getting validated. That's

1509
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:29,680
Speaker 1: why I like that. It keeps validating that I am

1510
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:32,720
Speaker 1: number one, whereas if we go through Like I did

1511
01:11:32,760 --> 01:11:34,360
Speaker 1: a joke last night on stage that was like I'm

1512
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:37,120
Speaker 1: going to been in a ten year relationship pretty much,

1513
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:40,080
Speaker 1: you know, And I was just talking about how like

1514
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:44,320
Speaker 1: age has affected my body, especially like my vagina and stuff,

1515
01:11:44,360 --> 01:11:46,479
Speaker 1: and like things that just don't look the same lately

1516
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:48,880
Speaker 1: and they don't feel the same, and it's Annie gave

1517
01:11:48,920 --> 01:11:52,960
Speaker 1: me the line of it's getting jowels and it's getting

1518
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,479
Speaker 1: jowy down there, and it's starting to look like my

1519
01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:57,840
Speaker 1: grandma in the final years of her life, like my

1520
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 1: vagina at thirty nine. So it's true, it like reminds

1521
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:02,559
Speaker 1: me of me me, and I miss her every time

1522
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:09,040
Speaker 1: I look down. But I was saying, like, if something

1523
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:13,120
Speaker 1: happened with me and Chris, I am now like uh oh,

1524
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:15,439
Speaker 1: Like I looked at my vagina and go. I wouldn't

1525
01:12:15,479 --> 01:12:18,280
Speaker 1: want someone new to see this. He doesn't notice because

1526
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,360
Speaker 1: it's been over time. But there's no way I could

1527
01:12:21,439 --> 01:12:23,799
Speaker 1: present this right now the way it is without getting

1528
01:12:23,880 --> 01:12:26,360
Speaker 1: some kind of my mind goes. If Chris breaks up

1529
01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:28,360
Speaker 1: with me, I have to get vaginal surgery because I

1530
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:31,920
Speaker 1: can't have someone new see this. So I need Chris

1531
01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:34,200
Speaker 1: to constantly go out and see new pussies in my

1532
01:12:34,360 --> 01:12:37,280
Speaker 1: mind now to like validate that he still wants this one,

1533
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:39,120
Speaker 1: because I think he's just gotten used to it, and

1534
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,519
Speaker 1: I don't want someone who's just like, uh, this is

1535
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:43,559
Speaker 1: all I can get. I guess I just have to

1536
01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:45,800
Speaker 1: stay with it because I'm locked in. Another reason I

1537
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,960
Speaker 1: don't like marriage because it feels like you have to

1538
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,559
Speaker 1: stay with me because now there's a ring on your finger,

1539
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:50,920
Speaker 1: and you made all this pledge in front of all

1540
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:52,559
Speaker 1: your family and friends, and we spent thousands of dollars.

1541
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:54,679
Speaker 1: So that's why you're with me, as opposed to he's

1542
01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:57,679
Speaker 1: with me because he could be with anyone at any time,

1543
01:12:57,800 --> 01:13:01,960
Speaker 1: and he keeps choosing me. Being a girlfriend makes it

1544
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 1: feel like I am fighting for something and achieving something

1545
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,360
Speaker 1: more than if I got married. It would feel like

1546
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,240
Speaker 1: an achievement on that day, like I did it, But

1547
01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:12,160
Speaker 1: past that, I'd be like, Oh, I just locked him

1548
01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:14,320
Speaker 1: in a cage, and now I'm acting like he wants

1549
01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:16,040
Speaker 1: to stay. He doesn't.

1550
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:19,120
Speaker 2: No, he can't leave. He's locked in.

1551
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:22,000
Speaker 1: That stuff doesn't make me feel like I achieved snaring

1552
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:24,360
Speaker 1: this animal. It's it's trapped. It doesn't want to be

1553
01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:28,439
Speaker 1: with me. Locked him in there jowls.

1554
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:34,560
Speaker 4: But this is like, you don't do this with your girlfriends.

1555
01:13:35,040 --> 01:13:39,240
Speaker 4: What do you mean you don't have an achievement paradigm

1556
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:40,160
Speaker 4: with your girlfriends.

1557
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:43,160
Speaker 1: Tell me a little bit of that, Like I feel,

1558
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:46,959
Speaker 1: I'm just so confident that I'm the best friend possible,

1559
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:51,200
Speaker 1: and you all can meet each other and find other

1560
01:13:51,320 --> 01:13:54,080
Speaker 1: versions of what I offer in a friendship in other people.

1561
01:13:54,520 --> 01:13:59,679
Speaker 1: But I do there's a narcissistic attent. No, I there's

1562
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:01,640
Speaker 1: nothing I feel more accomplished about in my life than

1563
01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:05,160
Speaker 1: the ability to collect amazing girlfriends and to nurture amazing

1564
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:08,960
Speaker 1: friendships that both support me and that I feel that

1565
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:11,439
Speaker 1: I can support them. There's nothing more in my life

1566
01:14:11,439 --> 01:14:13,080
Speaker 1: that I'll ever be more proud of. Put it on

1567
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:16,120
Speaker 1: my gravestone. I'm the best at making girlfriends. No, question

1568
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:19,960
Speaker 1: about it. It's true, but I know, but the love

1569
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:20,720
Speaker 1: it's like.

1570
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:25,080
Speaker 4: Love is not a the way the words you're using,

1571
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,640
Speaker 4: but like collect.

1572
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:29,840
Speaker 2: Collect girlfriends.

1573
01:14:30,280 --> 01:14:32,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I'm I mean, I'm just I'm trying to

1574
01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:33,600
Speaker 1: be I'm saying it for humor.

1575
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:36,040
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, you know, but I mean, like with Chris,

1576
01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:39,960
Speaker 4: it makes it's I don't know, like that's a lot

1577
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:42,479
Speaker 4: of pressure to put on yourself that you love it

1578
01:14:42,640 --> 01:14:43,479
Speaker 4: best you do.

1579
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:46,599
Speaker 1: I love it. I want it. I don't want him.

1580
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:50,600
Speaker 1: I want to constantly be the best that is in me.

1581
01:14:51,439 --> 01:14:53,640
Speaker 3: You see a porn. What if he sees a pussy's

1582
01:14:53,720 --> 01:14:56,839
Speaker 3: and porn? Is that enough? You look at those pussies

1583
01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:59,840
Speaker 3: and he goes, ah, I want glaze, you know? Is

1584
01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:00,280
Speaker 3: that yeah?

1585
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,320
Speaker 2: That actually is enough?

1586
01:15:01,360 --> 01:15:01,639
Speaker 4: I do.

1587
01:15:01,800 --> 01:15:04,120
Speaker 1: I do like him to watch porn, honestly, to just

1588
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:06,439
Speaker 1: have an idea of what's out there and what he

1589
01:15:06,479 --> 01:15:09,160
Speaker 1: could be getting. Yet he still chooses me. That is

1590
01:15:09,760 --> 01:15:12,160
Speaker 1: one hundred percent correct. That it turns me on to

1591
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:15,400
Speaker 1: here even when I hear him on the radio be like, yeah,

1592
01:15:15,400 --> 01:15:19,439
Speaker 1: there's been some attractive Jeopardy contestants lately, or like, you know,

1593
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:22,880
Speaker 1: there was some headline about the hottest Jeopardy contestant ever.

1594
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:25,040
Speaker 1: They were reading about it and Chris is like Chris

1595
01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:27,080
Speaker 1: watches Jeopardy every day, and he's like, there's been some

1596
01:15:27,160 --> 01:15:29,240
Speaker 1: really good looking ones recently. It was like the most

1597
01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:31,320
Speaker 1: banal thing. He was just being very polite, but like

1598
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:34,120
Speaker 1: he didn't even say good looking. He's like some really impressive,

1599
01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:38,640
Speaker 1: you know, physically impressive people on the show. And I

1600
01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:40,640
Speaker 1: like wrote him like I heard you say this, and

1601
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:42,599
Speaker 1: I was like, I loved it so much. And then

1602
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:45,720
Speaker 1: Christin Bell came up and he goes, man, she is

1603
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:49,599
Speaker 1: something and I was like, oh, yes, Like I don't

1604
01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:52,360
Speaker 1: know why that turns me on because I see that

1605
01:15:52,439 --> 01:15:56,400
Speaker 1: he now I know he is in tuned with other things.

1606
01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:59,879
Speaker 1: He's not given up. He's still noticing other women are attracted.

1607
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:03,479
Speaker 1: That means he's constantly calibrating. I got to keep up.

1608
01:16:03,920 --> 01:16:05,880
Speaker 2: I like that. I never want to.

1609
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:08,400
Speaker 1: I don't like being complacent or a feeling like I

1610
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:10,599
Speaker 1: just and I know a lot of people are probably

1611
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,360
Speaker 1: like this is so sad. Nicky never feels safe. I

1612
01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:16,800
Speaker 1: a hundred there. The truth is, I'm probably a narcissist

1613
01:16:16,840 --> 01:16:19,599
Speaker 1: because I know there's no one better for me than him.

1614
01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:21,280
Speaker 1: He could break up with me and end up with someone,

1615
01:16:21,320 --> 01:16:23,680
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, he's always gonna think about me,

1616
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:26,120
Speaker 1: even though that's not the truth. And there are men

1617
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:28,479
Speaker 1: in my past that I've said that about and I

1618
01:16:28,520 --> 01:16:30,840
Speaker 1: don't feel that way. I'm like, no, that person's better

1619
01:16:30,840 --> 01:16:32,960
Speaker 1: for them. They never think about me at all. But

1620
01:16:33,120 --> 01:16:36,680
Speaker 1: for Chris, I'm certain I'm the best he could do.

1621
01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:38,760
Speaker 6: I think that's confidence, not narcissism.

1622
01:16:38,880 --> 01:16:41,520
Speaker 4: But you said he's the best I know. I'm confident

1623
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:44,200
Speaker 4: that he that he is the best person for me.

1624
01:16:44,360 --> 01:16:45,320
Speaker 4: Didn't you just say.

1625
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:48,559
Speaker 1: That I'm the best person for him. I'm confident right

1626
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:50,280
Speaker 1: now that he's the best person for me, and I'm

1627
01:16:50,320 --> 01:16:53,120
Speaker 1: constantly calibrating that too, to be quite honest.

1628
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:54,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like a good match.

1629
01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:58,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like because I want I want to

1630
01:16:58,800 --> 01:16:59,920
Speaker 1: be with the bet, I want the best.

1631
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:03,400
Speaker 3: It's almost like you guys are in a stand still

1632
01:17:03,439 --> 01:17:06,559
Speaker 3: in an arm wrestling match and nobody He.

1633
01:17:06,479 --> 01:17:09,080
Speaker 1: Would hate this. He's not like this, this is this

1634
01:17:09,160 --> 01:17:11,040
Speaker 1: is an invention in my own mind. He has no

1635
01:17:11,640 --> 01:17:15,120
Speaker 1: idea that I mean. It's not like I'm constantly like

1636
01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:17,320
Speaker 1: is this guy better? Is this guy better? Not like that.

1637
01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:20,639
Speaker 1: I'm just like I And it's not even about better,

1638
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:23,439
Speaker 1: better looking, taller, whatever, more money.

1639
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:26,080
Speaker 2: I don't weigh those things. It's like, could someone love

1640
01:17:26,160 --> 01:17:26,559
Speaker 2: me more?

1641
01:17:27,520 --> 01:17:30,880
Speaker 1: That is, if someone comes into my world that I'm

1642
01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:34,400
Speaker 1: like and they but they can't get in because they

1643
01:17:34,439 --> 01:17:36,800
Speaker 1: couldn't even get in the door right now because I'm

1644
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:38,960
Speaker 1: in a relationship. So there's not a good chance of

1645
01:17:38,960 --> 01:17:42,320
Speaker 1: someone proving that. But if he starts to show signs

1646
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:45,160
Speaker 1: of not loving me enough, if he were to suddenly

1647
01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:47,360
Speaker 1: start saying cruel things which he's never done in his

1648
01:17:47,400 --> 01:17:51,920
Speaker 1: whole life, or just ignoring me being affectionateless things like that,

1649
01:17:52,479 --> 01:17:54,800
Speaker 1: I one hundred percent would start looking for someone else

1650
01:17:54,840 --> 01:17:57,840
Speaker 1: to love me more. But so that is and I

1651
01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:00,160
Speaker 1: think everyone should. Is that crazy? I don't think that

1652
01:18:00,160 --> 01:18:02,439
Speaker 1: you should just settle just because you're married, like for

1653
01:18:02,520 --> 01:18:04,040
Speaker 1: whatever that person's willing to give you.

1654
01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:06,880
Speaker 3: Well, if the person is no longer giving you what

1655
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:09,920
Speaker 3: you need in the relationship and then they're also unwilling

1656
01:18:10,080 --> 01:18:11,960
Speaker 3: to put in any effort to.

1657
01:18:11,840 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 1: Give you, you would have to address it with them

1658
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:15,920
Speaker 1: and say, hey, I've noticed this is a thing that's happening.

1659
01:18:15,960 --> 01:18:17,719
Speaker 1: Because it could be like they're going through a depression

1660
01:18:17,800 --> 01:18:23,080
Speaker 1: or something like that. But yeah, teeth hurt, their teeth hurt.

1661
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:26,160
Speaker 1: I mean that is a huge thing. Brian is in

1662
01:18:26,479 --> 01:18:29,200
Speaker 1: constant pain. He's at A seven most of the time,

1663
01:18:29,479 --> 01:18:30,840
Speaker 1: in pain from one to ten.

1664
01:18:32,200 --> 01:18:34,160
Speaker 3: I'm feeling okay right now, I haven't eaten yet, but.

1665
01:18:34,120 --> 01:18:35,200
Speaker 1: What are you at right now?

1666
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:36,840
Speaker 3: Four?

1667
01:18:38,560 --> 01:18:39,479
Speaker 1: Okay, that's not bad.

1668
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:40,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not bad.

1669
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:44,639
Speaker 1: If people have chronic pain and you are in my life,

1670
01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:46,920
Speaker 1: please let me know because otherwise I just think you're

1671
01:18:46,920 --> 01:18:49,559
Speaker 1: a dick. Not that I ever thought Brian was a dick,

1672
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:53,120
Speaker 1: but I just think I'll go, oh, Brian's like bored

1673
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,439
Speaker 1: with me right now or whatever, and these aren't actually thought,

1674
01:18:56,439 --> 01:18:59,680
Speaker 1: but I will just take it personally. But when someone's like,

1675
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:04,400
Speaker 1: I'm cramping right now, really bad, my back hurts, whatever

1676
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:07,400
Speaker 1: it is, I suddenly all of the things, I'm like,

1677
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:10,040
Speaker 1: why is this person such a grump? Like it? It

1678
01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:12,280
Speaker 1: suddenly alleviates it for me, and then I'm like, oh, okay,

1679
01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:15,479
Speaker 1: And then now I'm like, I don't take anything personally,

1680
01:19:15,560 --> 01:19:18,800
Speaker 1: but people, man, I'm not someone who has lived in

1681
01:19:18,840 --> 01:19:20,920
Speaker 1: chronic pain. But I've said it on the podcast before.

1682
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:22,720
Speaker 1: If you do, I have so much empathy. I don't

1683
01:19:22,720 --> 01:19:23,840
Speaker 1: know how you do it. I don't know how you

1684
01:19:23,840 --> 01:19:25,360
Speaker 1: go to work. I don't know how you dress your

1685
01:19:25,439 --> 01:19:26,960
Speaker 1: kids in the morning. I don't know how you got

1686
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:32,519
Speaker 1: a narcissist? What not a narcissist? Honestly the way I

1687
01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:34,960
Speaker 1: feel about people in pain. I had a dream last

1688
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:36,559
Speaker 1: night that my friend was in pain and I was

1689
01:19:36,640 --> 01:19:40,200
Speaker 1: just like helping them and like holding them and getting

1690
01:19:40,200 --> 01:19:43,240
Speaker 1: them things and like just like rubbing their head, like

1691
01:19:43,280 --> 01:19:45,680
Speaker 1: patting their head gently because they were in pain. And

1692
01:19:45,760 --> 01:19:50,240
Speaker 1: like I I'm like, Brian is someone in my life

1693
01:19:50,280 --> 01:19:52,559
Speaker 1: that's in pain a lot. And then my other friend,

1694
01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:54,400
Speaker 1: Bill is currently in a lot of pain and I

1695
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:55,920
Speaker 1: have to be around him a lot, and I'm like,

1696
01:19:56,400 --> 01:19:58,120
Speaker 1: it's hard for me to be around them because I'm

1697
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:00,519
Speaker 1: so like, give me some it, Like.

1698
01:20:00,439 --> 01:20:02,120
Speaker 2: Can I please take some of it?

1699
01:20:02,200 --> 01:20:04,599
Speaker 1: Like it? Because I'm also like and then I get

1700
01:20:04,640 --> 01:20:08,240
Speaker 1: a narcissistic thought of like, man, I suck. If I

1701
01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:10,479
Speaker 1: had that, I wouldn't be here, and he's here, He's

1702
01:20:10,479 --> 01:20:12,719
Speaker 1: better than me. And then I start hating myself because

1703
01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:15,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm such a pussy. I could never do

1704
01:20:15,320 --> 01:20:18,439
Speaker 1: what they're doing. And then I make it about myself. No,

1705
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:20,320
Speaker 1: how do you do it? How do you get through it?

1706
01:20:20,360 --> 01:20:21,760
Speaker 3: I just want to say, like, let that be. It

1707
01:20:21,800 --> 01:20:24,479
Speaker 3: should be a life less than everybody takes an account

1708
01:20:24,560 --> 01:20:30,559
Speaker 3: is never ever take anything personally because it is almost

1709
01:20:30,880 --> 01:20:34,559
Speaker 3: never about you. If someone's acting like a dick or

1710
01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:39,200
Speaker 3: being a little short or whatever, trust me, it's not

1711
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:42,559
Speaker 3: about you. So like, yeah, what I say about people

1712
01:20:42,560 --> 01:20:44,719
Speaker 3: who are in chronic pain or stuff, there's no excuse.

1713
01:20:44,760 --> 01:20:46,800
Speaker 3: It's just like when you feel things in a certain way.

1714
01:20:47,040 --> 01:20:51,320
Speaker 3: My pain feelings are just emotional feelings that are manifesting

1715
01:20:51,400 --> 01:20:55,400
Speaker 3: through physical symptoms. Because I feel that way. That's not

1716
01:20:55,439 --> 01:20:58,000
Speaker 3: an excuse to be a dick. That doesn't excuse any

1717
01:20:58,080 --> 01:21:00,760
Speaker 3: type of behavior. You still have to to be your

1718
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:05,639
Speaker 3: best self despite that and so but on the other

1719
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:09,559
Speaker 3: side of it, do not take it personally. If someone's

1720
01:21:09,560 --> 01:21:11,760
Speaker 3: addict to you, you can hate them, you can be like,

1721
01:21:11,840 --> 01:21:13,280
Speaker 3: I don't think that I don't want to be around

1722
01:21:13,280 --> 01:21:14,920
Speaker 3: that person. They're gonna act like that all the time,

1723
01:21:15,240 --> 01:21:18,439
Speaker 3: but like, know that it's not something that you did.

1724
01:21:18,760 --> 01:21:21,759
Speaker 3: It's not about you. It's about them every single time,

1725
01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:23,920
Speaker 3: even if they're not in pain physically.

1726
01:21:24,080 --> 01:21:25,880
Speaker 1: I said this the other day in mixed company because

1727
01:21:25,880 --> 01:21:27,559
Speaker 1: Brian and I were hanging out with some people, and

1728
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,519
Speaker 1: I noticed that Brian, there's someone that we were hanging

1729
01:21:31,560 --> 01:21:33,840
Speaker 1: out with that was like in a bad mood because

1730
01:21:33,840 --> 01:21:38,200
Speaker 1: of pain. And I and Brian shared something and I said, yeah,

1731
01:21:38,240 --> 01:21:42,640
Speaker 1: I had that ex same experience, and I go, just know,

1732
01:21:42,920 --> 01:21:45,080
Speaker 1: and both me and my girlfriend were like, just no,

1733
01:21:45,240 --> 01:21:47,920
Speaker 1: it is not like it is. Don't take it personally.

1734
01:21:47,920 --> 01:21:50,120
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, I don't. I would, I would.

1735
01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:54,200
Speaker 1: There was no even Brian, this is the difference maybe

1736
01:21:54,240 --> 01:21:56,519
Speaker 1: between men and women, if I'm going to be more

1737
01:21:56,920 --> 01:22:01,040
Speaker 1: obtuse about it. But me and this girl were like

1738
01:22:01,840 --> 01:22:05,320
Speaker 1: so ready to just convince him that it wasn't his fault,

1739
01:22:05,360 --> 01:22:07,479
Speaker 1: and he was like, no, I know that. I'm not

1740
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:10,200
Speaker 1: scared of this person. I don't. I'm not mad at them.

1741
01:22:10,200 --> 01:22:12,960
Speaker 1: I don't think I did something wrong. They're just in pain.

1742
01:22:13,120 --> 01:22:15,120
Speaker 1: Like it was just a little awkward, but that doesn't

1743
01:22:15,160 --> 01:22:16,760
Speaker 1: mean I'm gonna like feel sad about it all day.

1744
01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:20,559
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what would that be? Like my god

1745
01:22:20,920 --> 01:22:23,519
Speaker 1: offended yesterday when I went to the cafe and the

1746
01:22:23,520 --> 01:22:26,200
Speaker 1: girl who I ordered my coffee from was a little

1747
01:22:26,200 --> 01:22:27,840
Speaker 1: bit short with me. I couldn't get out of my

1748
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:30,519
Speaker 1: head for like four hours. This girl I'm never gonna

1749
01:22:30,520 --> 01:22:32,640
Speaker 1: see again. She doesn't even work there. The girl that

1750
01:22:32,720 --> 01:22:35,360
Speaker 1: I like was just not there. And this girl was like,

1751
01:22:35,680 --> 01:22:37,679
Speaker 1: I'll have your coffee in a second because I accidentally

1752
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:39,800
Speaker 1: grabbed the wrong one, and then she forgot to put

1753
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:41,880
Speaker 1: a Stevia in it, and I go, Hi, can I

1754
01:22:41,920 --> 01:22:44,559
Speaker 1: get a Stevia? And she should have said, oh, sorry,

1755
01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:47,360
Speaker 1: I forgot, but instead she goes yeah, and I'm like, yeah,

1756
01:22:47,360 --> 01:22:49,280
Speaker 1: because I asked for one before, and you remember it

1757
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:50,920
Speaker 1: because I even said one and a half because you

1758
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:52,360
Speaker 1: were like, do you want to? And I said, kay,

1759
01:22:52,439 --> 01:22:54,639
Speaker 1: what and a half? What the heck? Was that weird?

1760
01:22:54,680 --> 01:22:56,599
Speaker 1: And we had a little laugh about it, or I

1761
01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:59,240
Speaker 1: guess I didn't. And then she's like and then she

1762
01:22:59,400 --> 01:23:02,599
Speaker 1: was a rude to I'm still angry about it. But

1763
01:23:02,680 --> 01:23:04,960
Speaker 1: Brian was just like, oh, yeah, I wouldn't. I don't

1764
01:23:04,960 --> 01:23:07,040
Speaker 1: take things personally. It was just so, how do you

1765
01:23:07,080 --> 01:23:08,360
Speaker 1: not do that? Have you always been that way?

1766
01:23:08,360 --> 01:23:11,400
Speaker 3: Brian in a situation like that? I mean, I can

1767
01:23:11,439 --> 01:23:14,519
Speaker 3: totally understand when someone's got full of stress and they

1768
01:23:14,640 --> 01:23:16,719
Speaker 3: just kind of snap at you, and it's like, well,

1769
01:23:17,360 --> 01:23:20,440
Speaker 3: that's not definitely not about me. I don't know I guess.

1770
01:23:20,200 --> 01:23:22,479
Speaker 1: It doesn't stay with you all day, like even though

1771
01:23:22,479 --> 01:23:25,200
Speaker 1: you know cognitively, it's not like you still feel guilty

1772
01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:28,960
Speaker 1: I should have done something differently now they don't like me.

1773
01:23:28,360 --> 01:23:31,439
Speaker 3: Mentally mentally it might stay with me all day just

1774
01:23:31,479 --> 01:23:35,000
Speaker 3: to be like just to just to say like can

1775
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:38,080
Speaker 3: you believe that? But I'm certainly not reeling over it,

1776
01:23:38,760 --> 01:23:39,200
Speaker 3: and you're.

1777
01:23:39,080 --> 01:23:41,840
Speaker 1: Not making a judgment about yourself and like I'm a

1778
01:23:41,880 --> 01:23:42,400
Speaker 1: piece of shit.

1779
01:23:42,800 --> 01:23:47,200
Speaker 3: No, I'm kind of I calculate, like, well, now, knowing

1780
01:23:47,280 --> 01:23:49,600
Speaker 3: that this person might act that way when they're in

1781
01:23:49,680 --> 01:23:55,120
Speaker 3: high stress situations, what can I do to in a

1782
01:23:55,160 --> 01:23:57,640
Speaker 3: situation like this. I do not walk on eggshells in

1783
01:23:57,680 --> 01:23:59,799
Speaker 3: a relationship like this, but in a like a romantic

1784
01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:02,240
Speaker 3: or lie. But I'm thinking like, okay, so what can

1785
01:24:02,280 --> 01:24:06,160
Speaker 3: I do in order to make that not happen again

1786
01:24:07,320 --> 01:24:13,280
Speaker 3: when interacting with me? To taking that into a yeah, oh.

1787
01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:16,200
Speaker 1: God, I wish that for every woman listening to this

1788
01:24:16,200 --> 01:24:20,720
Speaker 1: podcast right now a little bit because worst character flat

1789
01:24:20,800 --> 01:24:22,920
Speaker 1: taking the amount of times I see myself and my

1790
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:26,640
Speaker 1: friends derailed for weeks on end from anything productive they

1791
01:24:26,680 --> 01:24:29,040
Speaker 1: could be doing because one person got mad at them

1792
01:24:29,080 --> 01:24:31,080
Speaker 1: at one point that had nothing to do with them.

1793
01:24:31,080 --> 01:24:32,680
Speaker 1: And I can see it so clearly because I'm not

1794
01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:37,360
Speaker 1: in it is. There's years of people's lives wasted every

1795
01:24:37,439 --> 01:24:39,840
Speaker 1: day from short interactions that have nothing to do with them.

1796
01:24:39,920 --> 01:24:43,760
Speaker 1: Please God, stop wasting your life worrying about people being

1797
01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:45,880
Speaker 1: mad at you. Oh it's the biggest waste of time.

1798
01:24:45,960 --> 01:24:47,000
Speaker 1: Go right up, poem.

1799
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:51,760
Speaker 3: I forgot to mention that. Also, every morning I've been

1800
01:24:51,800 --> 01:24:55,040
Speaker 3: slipping a little bit of arsenic into his coffee, just

1801
01:24:55,280 --> 01:24:57,640
Speaker 3: a little bit so it will come back.

1802
01:24:57,840 --> 01:25:02,240
Speaker 1: It is your fault. Oh yeah, I will get.

1803
01:25:02,280 --> 01:25:04,080
Speaker 4: Just one and a half back into our sen Yes.

1804
01:25:04,200 --> 01:25:04,880
Speaker 1: We gotta go.

1805
01:25:05,280 --> 01:25:06,880
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to the pod this week.

1806
01:25:06,920 --> 01:25:09,759
Speaker 1: You guys, we really uncomfort a lot about myself today.

1807
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:10,600
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.

1808
01:25:10,960 --> 01:25:12,040
Speaker 1: And uh, we'll.

1809
01:25:11,920 --> 01:25:12,720
Speaker 2: See you next week.

1810
01:25:12,760 --> 01:25:16,519
Speaker 1: Don't be cut and just feel your feelings. Don't murder

1811
01:25:16,520 --> 01:25:16,800
Speaker 1: someone