Speaker 1: Kubbooms.
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 3: In the a.
Speaker 1: Everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben and Danny
Speaker 1: g Radio. Happy Sunday to you, the twenty eighth day
Speaker 1: of the month of July, the final Sunday of July,
Speaker 1: and a very important day today because later tonight this
Speaker 1: night will be different than all other nights on the
Speaker 1: Overnight Show. It is the return of the Malor PALOOZAO.
Speaker 3: Nice graphics on that. By the way, who did that?
Speaker 1: My friend Jay actually did that. He put that together
Speaker 1: for him. Shout out to I want to thank Jay.
Speaker 1: But the elephant standing on a ball not the kind
Speaker 1: of balls I like. So if you've never heard the
Speaker 1: Mallard Palooza, it is a stable. Normally we do it
Speaker 1: on the All Star Break of baseball. But I was
Speaker 1: out of town, so we couldn't do it then. And
Speaker 1: this is the This is the night, This is the night.
Speaker 1: It is a combination talent show, variety show, freak shows,
Speaker 1: side show. It's if you're old enough. There used to
Speaker 1: be this guy named David Letterman who was very popular
Speaker 1: on television when I was a kid. He did these things.
Speaker 1: He did stupid ted tricks and stupid human tricks. Who
Speaker 1: nice going CBS. Yeah, I don't I don't know what
Speaker 1: happened to him, but this is a form of stupid
Speaker 1: human tricks. It's like a circus side show. And we
Speaker 1: have people that will call up and do poetry and
Speaker 1: doing personations and sing and all that, and very excited
Speaker 1: about this. Inca Terror is going to be back as
Speaker 1: one of our celebrity He is our main celebrity judge.
Speaker 1: He's a classically trained musician from New York and we
Speaker 1: love Inka Terror. We get to see him. He will
Speaker 1: not be in studio we have had him in studio,
Speaker 1: but he will be hanging out with us and we're
Speaker 1: gonna have a great time. And so it's kind of
Speaker 1: like the demolition Derby of talent shows. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: know if they will have a human torpedo or who knows,
Speaker 1: but that's tonight, so we're looking forward to it. Hopefully
Speaker 1: you'll enjoy it, but we'll be there. And if you
Speaker 1: want to be in on that, you know you want
Speaker 1: to lay on a bed of nails. That doesn't really
Speaker 1: work for radio? What else beer? Remember that the bee
Speaker 1: bearding person that used to be big in the freak
Speaker 1: shows back in the day, Like, these acts won't really work.
Speaker 1: Glass walking won't work, human blockhead probably not so much.
Speaker 1: Fire breathing wouldn't really work on radio. But anyway, we'll
Speaker 1: have all that coming up for you tonight on the
Speaker 1: mallor Palosa. We'll get to the mail back in a second.
Speaker 1: There was a couple other stories we didn't get to
Speaker 1: yesterday from pop Goes to culture, so I wanted to
Speaker 1: get to some of those, Danny, because there's some good
Speaker 1: stuff this week, and I thought, well why not? Why not?
Speaker 1: This relates to last weekend with Alex the vegan who
Speaker 1: went full conspiracy theory guy. The scientists have detected a
Speaker 1: very odd source of electricity at the very bottom of
Speaker 1: the ocean. Do do Do Do Do Do Do Do
Speaker 1: Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do do doo.
Speaker 3: It was a family of tritons.
Speaker 1: I consider myself a reasonable moment the kraken released the cracking. No,
Speaker 1: it's for a long time the belief men that organisms
Speaker 1: like plants and algae have that they are producers, the
Speaker 1: original producers of aucyen. Well, now researchers have discovered evidence
Speaker 1: of a natural O two factory that needs neither the
Speaker 1: sun nor the life forms to harness its power o MG.
Speaker 1: The source is a chemical reaction taking place in rocks
Speaker 1: lying on the very bottom part the lightest of the
Speaker 1: sea floor, thousands of feet below the service there's no
Speaker 1: light there of the Pacific Ocean and releasing what the
Speaker 1: researchers have dubbed dark oxygen Man. These findings recently published
Speaker 1: in a science journal, and it is destroying the long
Speaker 1: standing belief, the assumption about how oxygen first came a
Speaker 1: thing in the Earth's atmosphere, and the science community is
Speaker 1: saying this is gonna have drastic implications on the origins
Speaker 1: of life on the planet. But that one very bottom
Speaker 1: of the Pacific because back to our conspiracy that the
Speaker 1: UFOs were seeing were actually at the bottom of the ocean.
Speaker 3: What a weekend man flying cars And now this.
Speaker 1: These are crazy times. Man China detected water in samples
Speaker 1: that collected from the moon. There's water on the moon.
Speaker 3: The only crazier thing I've seen recently were the fake
Speaker 3: cans on Biden during that space Did you see that
Speaker 3: the young hands with no ring I were saying that movie, Dave,
Speaker 3: remember where the real president of the USA was in
Speaker 3: a coma, so they had to look alike play the part.
Speaker 1: I get it, America, I'm tired. Let make al Pacino
Speaker 1: look like Timothy fucking shallow. Man X told me that
Speaker 1: he was dead. I read that on X the other day,
Speaker 1: and then he showed up. But then the other thing
Speaker 1: I saw was he actually recorded that. Whoever did that
Speaker 1: recorded it two hours earlier because his watch was set.
Speaker 1: They didn't change his watch. His watch was set two
Speaker 1: hours earlier at the White House.
Speaker 3: Oh so, lots of conspiracies.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know whatever the fuck that means. Well,
Speaker 1: I like this story. Amazon spent billions of dollars to
Speaker 1: put together Alexa. Do you use Alexa?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, I don't either. But the whole point of it was, Hey,
Speaker 1: we're gonna build this thing. And this is ten years ago.
Speaker 1: They launched it, and they envisioned that the voice assist Alexa,
Speaker 1: which is a home device, would sell more products and
Speaker 1: they would make so much money because people say, hey, Alexa,
Speaker 1: buy me donuts or something, right, and they'd be okay. Well,
Speaker 1: it turns out that this is according to the Wall
Speaker 1: Street Journal. I saw this the other day, the people
Speaker 1: that actually use Alexa have mostly ended up using it
Speaker 1: to do simple tasks like check the time or sit
Speaker 1: an alarm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, turn the lights on or off.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And apparently this is freaking out the people that
Speaker 1: work at Amazon because they spent billions of dollars thinking
Speaker 1: they were going to get return on investment.
Speaker 3: Oops.
Speaker 1: And he said that this is from a source at Amazon.
Speaker 1: When they first launched, they said, we were we give
Speaker 1: you the exact quote here because it's a good quote.
Speaker 1: I want to give you the exac quote. I don't
Speaker 1: give you a fake quote. We worried. We've hired ten
Speaker 1: thousand people and we've built a smart timer. A senior,
Speaker 1: former senior Amazon employee said that that's all they did,
Speaker 1: and internal documents flame Amazon squandered tens of billions of
Speaker 1: dollars on these devices.
Speaker 3: Yeah. This is like a stripper who only wants to
Speaker 3: do missionary.
Speaker 1: You're like, hey, I'm not getting my money's with But
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, twenty twenty one alone, Amazon lost more than
Speaker 1: twenty five billion on Alexa because people are just using
Speaker 1: it for the time. Oh, it's so great. Humans are
Speaker 1: gonna human, Danny. Humans are humans are rather simple creatures.
Speaker 1: They're just gonna do what they normally do, right, That's
Speaker 1: just the way it goes. A couple of lab stories
Speaker 1: that got my attention. Scientists have grown male genitalia in
Speaker 1: a lab. They've grown balls in a lab. Say what,
Speaker 1: yeah about that? I was attracted to the giant metal cock.
Speaker 1: Oh well, you know I can grow to me. Male
Speaker 1: fertility is in crisis, and unless we do something about it,
Speaker 1: the human race is going to be a total mess.
Speaker 1: One expert has worn following the news that they have
Speaker 1: grown male gendles in a lab, and they're of course
Speaker 1: worried this could make us, you know, obsolete, Danny, that
Speaker 1: we don't you know, women will not need are jump
Speaker 1: because they have this. Israeli scientists producing the gendles from
Speaker 1: the cells extracted from mice. But the woman has said
Speaker 1: she hopes to be able to produce human versions within
Speaker 1: five years that could produce sperm. That's like, that's some
Speaker 1: interesting moral ground there, right, Danny. If a pair of
Speaker 1: science generated testicles creates sperm and you're the kid of
Speaker 1: that sperm, what are you? Oh boy, are you human?
Speaker 1: I mean they say it's some human DNA, but how
Speaker 1: do you know. I'm sure there's some other stuff mixed
Speaker 1: in there, like hot dogs, right, so you can.
Speaker 3: Be part weenie Weenie in the butt in the afternoon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, exactly. They've also grown brains in labs, so
Speaker 1: they've got that going on. We are living in wild times.
Speaker 1: They We've got the Jetson's Law in Minnesota flying cars,
Speaker 1: We've got testicles being grown in a lab and brains
Speaker 1: sciences growing brains in labs. Could they become conscious? It
Speaker 1: has no eyes, ears, nose, or mouth. Nothing's coming in
Speaker 1: at this point, but stay tuned to lab grown brains.
Speaker 1: This is being done at the University of California at
Speaker 1: Santa Barbara. A neuroscientist there is behind this and they
Speaker 1: claim they have created a facsimile of the brain made
Speaker 1: in labs there, and they say they aren't likely to
Speaker 1: achieve consciousness anytime soon. But you never know. Let's get
Speaker 1: to the mail bag. It's thank you, ohio. Al appreciate
Speaker 1: that these are actual email correspondence, so I'm actually listening
Speaker 1: to actual listeners to the show. This one comes from Alf.
Speaker 1: You can send these in, by the way. You can
Speaker 1: send them right now, you can send them later whenever
Speaker 1: you want. Send them care of the Real Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: ALF dreaming of a Mallar meet and greet, writes, and
Speaker 1: he says, Hey, Ben, since you and the Bennetts are
Speaker 1: so tight, who will be driving the Mallard shuttlebus to
Speaker 1: Vegas for the meet and greet on Saturday? Or will
Speaker 1: you be taking turns? Yeah? What's that old line about
Speaker 1: the nineteen eighties Yankees? You remember? Remember the line there
Speaker 1: about the Yankees back in the back in the day
Speaker 1: they had was it twenty five players, twenty five taxicabs?
Speaker 1: Believe that was it something like that.
Speaker 3: Didn't Billy Martin die in a car accident? Well he
Speaker 3: was I think drunk when Oh boy, So I feel
Speaker 3: like Coop would be the most responsible driver, because, as
Speaker 3: you know, when you smoke weed, it helps you concentrate
Speaker 3: on the road.
Speaker 1: Okay, is that true? I always says, don't smoke and drive.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I thought he helped you concentrate.
Speaker 1: Twenty five players twenty five cabs. It was about the
Speaker 1: Yankees and the Red Sox. That line was used about
Speaker 1: the dysfunctional Red Sox and Yankees. There you go. Now
Speaker 1: would be twenty five players, twenty five ubers. You'd have
Speaker 1: to get rid of the taxi cab thing because it's
Speaker 1: an uber world. And Alf also says, after the Vegan
Speaker 1: burned down the studio last week, what conspiracy theory does
Speaker 1: Danny G have his strongest opinion on, possibly the frozen
Speaker 1: envelope during the NBA Draft. My favorite sports conspiracy theory off,
Speaker 1: not that you asked me, is the cal Ripken lights
Speaker 1: out in Baltimore.
Speaker 3: Oh, the Kevin Costner game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he got to a fight Kevin Costner, I
Speaker 1: guess came came in and owed caught. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he caught Kevin Costner with his That actually played out
Speaker 1: on Fox Sports Radio. Kevin Costner called in the Fox
Speaker 1: Sports Radio years ago on the old Kylie and Boom
Speaker 1: Show because they were talking about it. I've always believed
Speaker 1: it because here's why I was covering baseball at the time,
Speaker 1: and that game got postponed because the power was out
Speaker 1: at Camden Yards. Way back many years ago, cal was
Speaker 1: on track to set the all time games played record.
Speaker 1: It was a very big record for baseball, and this
Speaker 1: was after the work strike in nineteen ninety four, the
Speaker 1: labor strike, and so it's a very big deal. But
Speaker 1: before the story came out the night the night this happened,
Speaker 1: I was covering a Dodger game and a buddy of
Speaker 1: mine came up to me. He says, hey, I just
Speaker 1: talked to somebody who knows Peter Angelos, right, and the
Speaker 1: guy told me. He said that something happened with with
Speaker 1: Ripkin and Kevin Coster, and that they made sure that
Speaker 1: the game. Ripkin would not have played. He was too
Speaker 1: distraught from what happened, so he would not have played
Speaker 1: in the game that night, and it would have ended
Speaker 1: his streak. He was unable to play, not necessarily because
Speaker 1: he was hurt, but just because he was too messed
Speaker 1: up in the head. And so as a result, the
Speaker 1: Orioles made sure that the game was postponed. So they
Speaker 1: cooked up the power outage story. Yeah, what do you
Speaker 1: think about the oil that I heard it before it
Speaker 1: became a thing. So because of that, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: I buy it.
Speaker 3: And Ben, I know somebody who worked for the White
Speaker 3: Sox back in the day. This guy swears up and
Speaker 3: down that Michael Jordan's first retirement was a secret suspension
Speaker 3: for gambling.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, no, I believe that too. Yeah, that it
Speaker 1: was a double secret thing. They didn't want to they
Speaker 1: didn't to ruin the legacy of Jordan. So David Stern
Speaker 1: did a ma solid But David Stern was a hard ass.
Speaker 1: And the old commissioner of the NBA actually have a
Speaker 1: great David Stern story that I don't have time to
Speaker 1: get to right now. But Stern, he's like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: you've been hanging out, you've been associating with gamblers, and
Speaker 1: at that time that was very taboo, and Stern was
Speaker 1: a pretty straight laced guy. And so he's like, all right,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go play for Jerry Reinstorf's minor league baseball
Speaker 1: team and we'll put you in the White Sox spring
Speaker 1: training and all that and chill out and then you
Speaker 1: can come back after your suspension is over. And to no,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what happened. So I buy that one, the
Speaker 1: ewing frozen envelope. I buy that all. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of sports conspiracies that I that I'm all in on.
Speaker 3: For yure think let's talk JFK. Now we did that
Speaker 3: last week.
Speaker 1: Mike in Fullerton writes, and he says, Hey, Ben, welcome
Speaker 1: back to Danny g. First thing, first, you both owe
Speaker 1: me an apology. I'm one of the thirty four percent
Speaker 1: of people who needs a recipe to make toast, and
Speaker 1: I didn't appreciate being called an idiot two weeks ago. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm not an expert chef like Ben. Yeah, okay, he says,
Speaker 1: do you guys, do you guys believe in the conspiracy?
Speaker 1: Here we go, get boy, do you guys?
Speaker 3: Let me ask you first though, was this at least
Speaker 3: for cinnamon toast? Because it was just it was just toast,
Speaker 3: just regular old toast. Yeah, just toast, man, at least
Speaker 3: you know cinnamon toast.
Speaker 1: Come on? Do you do you butter the toast before?
Speaker 3: Or do you butter this cinnamon go on first?
Speaker 1: Or what do you do? I don't know. Mike says,
Speaker 1: do you guys believe in the conspiracy theory that birds
Speaker 1: aren't real? And are actually just drones used to spy
Speaker 1: on us. It sounds crazy to me, but my friend
Speaker 1: Alex is convinced as true.
Speaker 3: Jesus, when did this turn into the Coast to Coast
Speaker 3: George podcast?
Speaker 1: I said on one of the podcasts last week. I
Speaker 1: think it was Saturday, I said, this is going to
Speaker 1: be my demo tape to Coast to Coast when I
Speaker 1: fill in for George Norri. It was like Coast to
Speaker 1: Coast meets Alex Jones and Info Wars is what it was. Wild.
Speaker 1: It was craziness. Thank you, Thank you. Mike Barry, I
Speaker 1: met very good guys South Carolina. He was at the
Speaker 1: Charleston meet and greet we did a couple months back.
Speaker 1: He says, Yo, yo ma, Benny. Listen to the Alex
Speaker 1: version of the Fifth Hour. Wow, he is out there.
Speaker 1: Some people think I'm nuts, but got me to thinking
Speaker 1: after watching an Unsolved Mysteries episode on Netflix. Make sure
Speaker 1: you watch my show, Barry. I'm on a show on
Speaker 1: Netflix we talked about in a previous podcast here. I
Speaker 1: didn't know I was on the show, but I am.
Speaker 1: He says. They postulate that these skinwalkers, Locknest, Monster, Bigfoot, etc.
Speaker 1: Are never found because the UFOs drop them off and
Speaker 1: then come back in a few weeks and take them
Speaker 1: back wherever they go. Barry says, I bet Alex is
Speaker 1: all on board with that. What about you? Alien abduction
Speaker 1: has fascinated people worldwide.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like hearing, you know. That's why I listened
Speaker 3: to George Norri. Sometimes there's at least ten minutes of
Speaker 3: the week where I can listen to conspiracy theories. But
Speaker 3: I couldn't listen to that every day. It would drive
Speaker 3: me nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm working with Nori's on, but I listened to
Speaker 1: Coast to Coast on the weekend. Sometimes if I'm up late,
Speaker 1: i'm driving around, I'll off Coast to Coast on or
Speaker 1: you know, back in the day, you know, Alex Jones.
Speaker 1: I'll see some videos online, not anymore really, but I'll
Speaker 1: check it out. Whatever. Yeah, you gotta be you can't
Speaker 1: just believe everything you hear, though, You've got to be
Speaker 1: somewhat judgmental. Right, If you're gullible, it's a problem and
Speaker 1: a lot of there's a lot of goble people, global people.
Speaker 1: Ohio Al writes in not ohio Al, He's not gullible, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he's upset, He says, Benny, he wrote an all apps,
Speaker 1: please do not invite that total idiot on your podcast again.
Speaker 1: I would much rather hear you bloviating by yourself and
Speaker 1: get some nameless, faceless engineer to produce and upload the podcast. Wow,
Speaker 1: undersea civilizations and chemtrail conspiracies are bad enough. By the way,
Speaker 1: Ohio says, I'm an aerospace engineer specializing in combustion, and
Speaker 1: water is one of the main byproducts of jet engine combustion.
Speaker 1: So the trails you see behind every jet in the
Speaker 1: sky merely condensed water droplets, i e. A cloud. Then,
Speaker 1: he says, but when and then he rips tyshert here
Speaker 1: calls him some names. When he claimed that Trump staged
Speaker 1: the assassination, yeah, he went there. No, No, yeah, you
Speaker 1: must I thought I was. I thought something weird, as
Speaker 1: I told him a couple times, is everything okay? Or
Speaker 1: but yeah? So anyway, Ohio says, when that blankety blank
Speaker 1: ty shirt claimed that Trump staged the assassination attempt so
Speaker 1: he could look good, what the f he wrote in
Speaker 1: all caps? Did he also get the dead firemen to
Speaker 1: volunteer to get killed by a stray bullet so Trump
Speaker 1: could look good.
Speaker 2: Stupid.
Speaker 3: First thing I thought when I saw all the conspiracy
Speaker 3: theorists all over social media that Saturday.
Speaker 1: Stupid people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, OK, if nobody had died, then I
Speaker 3: could see conspiracy theorists coming out saying it was a stunt,
Speaker 3: it was planned, it was set up, but somebody died
Speaker 3: and then somebody got severely injured.
Speaker 1: Right. Well, the other thing I know about President Trump
Speaker 1: is and you've talked to him, Danny, so you're better
Speaker 1: friends with him than I am. He didn't know who
Speaker 1: I am, but you know you've talked to him on
Speaker 1: the phone. Last question, did you tell my producer, Danny
Speaker 1: g that he deserved a raise when you called last time? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: I said, you got the president, but you really do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a great show and he's a nice guy.
Speaker 2: But I said, you get the president of the phone,
Speaker 2: you deserve a race.
Speaker 1: I haven't done too many of these calls lately. Trump
Speaker 1: is not a good actor like they write these. I've
Speaker 1: heard stories from people that have worked in that worked
Speaker 1: with his administration. They'll write the speeches for him and
Speaker 1: he'll in the middle of speech do improv. Yeah, he'll
Speaker 1: go he'll he'll just go off.
Speaker 2: Unted people that don't have a clue, they're incompetent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he'll start out doing it and then he'll start
Speaker 1: add limbing and adding his own thing. And so the
Speaker 1: idea that Trump would follow a scripts like, Okay, we're
Speaker 1: going to shoot the bullet and then you're not even
Speaker 1: gonna get hit. Just make sure you hit this blood packet.
Speaker 1: We'll put it behind your ear. No one will know
Speaker 1: it's there. Hit it. It'll look like you're bleeding.
Speaker 3: And then was there an air piece in and they're like, okay,
Speaker 3: slightly tilt your head now, yeah, come.
Speaker 1: On, I mean uh. Ohio then continues to rip the
Speaker 1: blankety blank. He says, Tyshert gives California the rightfully earned
Speaker 1: nicknamed Land of the Fruits and the Nuts. All right, wow,
Speaker 1: no moss, he says, respectfully. Ohio, Al, calm down. I
Speaker 1: love you, Al, you're a big part of this. We
Speaker 1: think you're wonderful. We love I mean, play all your
Speaker 1: stuff on this podcast on the radio show. But Alex
Speaker 1: a good guy. He's a little out there, A little
Speaker 1: out there. Yeah, he means well, he means well, he's
Speaker 1: trying to figure he's a young guy. He's trying to
Speaker 1: figure the way I look at Alex, he's a young
Speaker 1: guy's trying to figure out what's real and what's fake
Speaker 1: in the world. And he's gone off on some real
Speaker 1: big tangents.
Speaker 3: And just consider it audio variety.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's we don't want boring, right, you know when
Speaker 1: you do a podcast, you don't want to be boring.
Speaker 1: You want to you want to be good, you want
Speaker 1: to be interesting. And we've gotten more I'll tell you this.
Speaker 1: We've gotten more feedback from from Tyshirt being on the
Speaker 1: podcast than a lot of the stuff that we normally do.
Speaker 1: So maybe we should talk more about weird crap like that.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: The thing is, though, you can't fake crazy. I'm not
Speaker 3: calling him crazy, but like crazy takes, you can't fake that,
Speaker 3: and you can't do it every weekend because the act
Speaker 3: would get old really quick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure. Next up is Roman from Miami,
Speaker 1: a Nubie Nubi nuby Doobi. He says, I'm a long
Speaker 1: time listening to the Ben mal Show and the Fifth
Speaker 1: Hour podcast. I also fit into the younger demo. Thank god. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we need your Roman, We need your man. Get your
Speaker 1: friends to listen, get them off the anime, Come on,
Speaker 1: get them off the video games. He says, Ben, do
Speaker 1: you have any financial tips that you can give to
Speaker 1: your fellow penny pinchers. One I could find. One I
Speaker 1: could think of is to never pay full price unless
Speaker 1: you have to. Also, a friend of mine told me
Speaker 1: that if you're trying to buy something from Walmart and
Speaker 1: the package is damaged, and if you ask nicely enough,
Speaker 1: they will let me give you a discount on the item,
Speaker 1: coupon and apps often give discounts, which is why I
Speaker 1: have every fast food app downloaded on my phone. Unfortunately
Speaker 1: for me, though, he says, I have, I've saved an
Speaker 1: okay amount. I find it hard to spend spend it
Speaker 1: on things I enjoy, so roman a couple of things,
Speaker 1: I would advise you to not ever buy a new car,
Speaker 1: buy a pre owned car because the value of cars
Speaker 1: goes down right away. I will never buy another new
Speaker 1: car again. Even though I could probably afford to buy
Speaker 1: a new car. Well, I don't know if I could.
Speaker 1: These new cars are like seventy eighty thousand now, a
Speaker 1: lot of them. I don't know that I could. But
Speaker 1: pre owned cars the way to go on that, ye,
Speaker 1: I don't know. If you assume you're driving and then
Speaker 1: saving money, I would try to I would try to diversify.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're if you're a young enough guy. What's
Speaker 1: that thing when I was in high school? If you
Speaker 1: invest it? Is it? What? What investment fund can you
Speaker 1: invest in? If you if you keep putting money in,
Speaker 1: by the time you're forty, you'll have like millions of dollars.
Speaker 1: What is that called? I forget what the name of
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 3: I'll have to Yeah, while you look that up, I'll
Speaker 3: tell him about the twenty rule that my uncle always
Speaker 3: raves about, the fifty to thirty twenty rule. It's fifty
Speaker 3: percent of your money should go towards your needs, thirty
Speaker 3: percent should go towards the things you want so you're wants,
Speaker 3: and twenty percent towards savings. It's always a good rule
Speaker 3: of thumb according to my uncle. But he does drive
Speaker 3: a Bentley and he lives in the Silicon Valley, So
Speaker 3: I do listen to him sometimes when he talks money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds that sounds good, but it says.
Speaker 3: Fifty to thirty twenty.
Speaker 1: Like, as a young person, if you can get into
Speaker 1: a high yield savings account, and you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: shop around. I think IRA. When I was younger, it
Speaker 1: was IRA's. But there's other stuff now and now be
Speaker 1: careful with I have use some of those. I use
Speaker 1: one of the apps. I have a stock app, and
Speaker 1: you know, you play around like a video game. You're
Speaker 1: buying stock, right, You're gambling. Every day is gonna go up,
Speaker 1: it's gonna go down. But I got burned the first
Speaker 1: year I used the app because I didn't realize that
Speaker 1: when you make money at the end of the year,
Speaker 1: you have to pay capital gains tax. This was because
Speaker 1: I never really messed around with the stock market, and
Speaker 1: so I was like, holy crap, Like I made a
Speaker 1: fair money money, but I got to pay it in taxes.
Speaker 1: So that killed me. So after that I stopped. I
Speaker 1: stopped playing. Now I still have some stocks. In fact,
Speaker 1: here's the here's the kicker, all right, So I Roman I.
Speaker 1: This is like probably three or four years ago, hearing COVID.
Speaker 1: I was I was fudging around with these one of
Speaker 1: these apps where you buy stock. So I bought some
Speaker 1: stock and it was just you know, extra money. It
Speaker 1: was like my gambling money. There was nothing to bet
Speaker 1: on because there were no games, and COVID Danny there
Speaker 1: were no games for like one hundred something days was
Speaker 1: shut down.
Speaker 3: So I got very strangely, our ratings went up at
Speaker 3: a sports network.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had the highest listenership we've ever had, which
Speaker 1: makes no sense. So during that I started getting my
Speaker 1: gambling fix on the stock market. And so during that time,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm doing my thing whatever. And then at
Speaker 1: the end of the year, I send all the information
Speaker 1: over to the person that does my taxes and they're like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, you made this amount of money. Even though
Speaker 1: you reinvested the money in other stocks, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: You still got to pay taxes on it. It's called the
Speaker 1: capitol capital games. I'm like, oh crap, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about.
Speaker 3: And so it is like a fantasy sports ben. If
Speaker 3: you win over six hundred dollars, you owe taxes. And
Speaker 3: so my older brother he used to use my account
Speaker 3: and his because he had such an issue with sports gambling,
Speaker 3: and then I had to pay tax and so did he.
Speaker 3: It's crazy, right, I mean, you win that money, but yeah,
Speaker 3: you're right, Uh, you got to pay the taxes on it.
Speaker 1: So here's the odd thing about it. For Roman and
Speaker 1: for you, Danny, So I stopped completely just because you
Speaker 1: didn't want to pay the taxes. Well, I left exactly
Speaker 1: because I'm a titwats. But I left the money the
Speaker 1: stocks I owned, I left them in the account. So
Speaker 1: every once in a while I'll go check and I
Speaker 1: look the other day, without doing anything, without trading stocks,
Speaker 1: without doing anything, the stocks I had have gone up
Speaker 1: forty two percent. Since then, the value of the stocks
Speaker 1: is going to forty two percent.
Speaker 3: And by doing that's just because you left it alone,
Speaker 3: by doing nothing.
Speaker 1: By doing nothing, almost all of the stocks I got,
Speaker 1: I bought a lot of stocks. Here's what I would
Speaker 1: also recommend Roman. If you play the stock market, buy
Speaker 1: stocks with dividends. I highly recommend dividends because then you're
Speaker 1: you're gonna get a little bit of money every you know,
Speaker 1: every four months or so, depending when they pay out
Speaker 1: the dividends, you're gonna get a little bit of money.
Speaker 3: And then that's us back to sports with the fantasy
Speaker 3: you know where you could put your roster together each
Speaker 3: weekend or whatever, Well, the same thing. If you set
Speaker 3: it off your gut and then you leave your roster alone,
Speaker 3: you'll win that weekend. Right, But what happens when you
Speaker 3: tinker with it too much and you're done. You're done.
Speaker 3: And the same thing with your stocks. You got that
Speaker 3: forty two percent gain because you left it alone. You
Speaker 3: didn't overthink it. Oh yeah, for sure, I guarantee you.
Speaker 1: If I had been playing the stock market the way
Speaker 1: I played it during COVID, I would have lost everything,
Speaker 1: you know, I would have It's like, I'm the idiot
Speaker 1: that bought doge coin when that was because that was
Speaker 1: kind of during the COVID time, Like, oh, doge coin
Speaker 1: to the moon. Doge coin, Let me let me see
Speaker 1: what it's worth right now. Let me check you, because
Speaker 1: I do I still own some.
Speaker 3: Oh my brother sent me the app on that and
Speaker 3: tried to talk me into it for weeks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, doge coin is currently worth a half of one cent.
Speaker 3: Ouch o.
Speaker 1: But the good news is I own like three hundred
Speaker 1: shares of it. So if it ever goes up, I'm
Speaker 1: a maid man. I'm set man. If that doge coin
Speaker 1: ever takes off, I will.
Speaker 3: Be rich if that goes up. Forget Hawaii, We're talking Bora, bora.
Speaker 1: Oh man, We're going We're going to the moon. Nick
Speaker 1: and Wisconsin rights and he says, Hey, Ben and Danny g.
Speaker 1: I've had some decent questions, but none good enough to
Speaker 1: send the last couple of weeks. So the question is,
Speaker 1: when you were a kid, did your parents ever make
Speaker 1: you do a sport or activity that you hated? And
Speaker 1: if so, what was it? Have a wonderful Sunday from
Speaker 1: our buddy Nick in Wisconsin. So yeah, my mom directed
Speaker 1: me to stuff, but she I'll give my mom credit
Speaker 1: because once I really raised the ruckus after a while,
Speaker 1: she normally say, all right, I didn't want to learn
Speaker 1: how to play the piano. I didn't want to go
Speaker 1: to uh, you know, Sunday school, you know, for the temple.
Speaker 1: Didn't want to do that, but you know I did.
Speaker 1: And then I complained enough and she she stopped. And
Speaker 1: she wanted me to play sports, but I was into that,
Speaker 1: so I did. And she always wanted me to try
Speaker 1: different things. I wanted you to try stuff and see
Speaker 1: if you like it or not. So that was always
Speaker 1: how she would sell me. Danny's like, just give it
Speaker 1: a shot, you might like it. Like, well, I don't
Speaker 1: want it anyway, what about you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom was cool about not forcing stuff on us.
Speaker 3: Religion she forced on us. But as far as sports
Speaker 3: or activities, the one thing she had tennis rackets, and
Speaker 3: she would take us to tennis courts or parks that
Speaker 3: had tennis courts. That was a thing back in the day.
Speaker 3: Now it's all pickleball. Now, it's all pickleball courts. Yeah,
Speaker 3: But when we were kids, way back in the olden days,
Speaker 3: it was tennis courts at parks, and she had a
Speaker 3: couple of tennis rackets, and she wanted us to stand
Speaker 3: there in volley and my older brother and I we
Speaker 3: would do it for a little bit. But what we
Speaker 3: liked more was like racquetball and butts up. We wanted
Speaker 3: to hit the ball against the wall.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, racquetball, Yeah, in the racquetball court. Amazing. Awesome.
Speaker 1: You ever played baseball with a racket ball?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we sure did. Those hard blue racketballs.
Speaker 1: Awesome. You felt like you were in the big league.
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, Although I fired that in And we had
Speaker 3: a game called butts up where if somebody picked up
Speaker 3: the ball you fumbled, threw the ball to the wall
Speaker 3: and beat you there. Before you could touch the wall,
Speaker 3: you had to stand up there and they got a
Speaker 3: freeze shot, a pitch, a fastball, at your backside. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Did you ever I think we've talked about this in
Speaker 1: a previous episode, but I also at one point we
Speaker 1: were we were messing around me and my buddies in
Speaker 1: the neighborhood, and we used to play baseball all the
Speaker 1: time because we're big. You know, that's what we did.
Speaker 1: And uh, you ever made contact sweet spot metal bat
Speaker 1: golf ball?
Speaker 3: Are you kidding? My old Ben, my older brother, would
Speaker 3: take a bucket of golf balls with our aluminum bat
Speaker 3: and he would pitch to himself and he had the
Speaker 3: ball to the front of the college campus that was
Speaker 3: five blocks away from our house.
Speaker 1: It's amazing. You felt like Barry Bonds all routed up
Speaker 1: back in the nineties.
Speaker 3: Oh, he thought he was Babe Ruth.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh it's awesome. Now, I don't recommend it because
Speaker 1: it's very dangerous. If you were hit. It's like somebody's
Speaker 1: pitching the golf ball to you and you hit them,
Speaker 1: you'll kill them. But if you assuming that that's not
Speaker 1: an issue.
Speaker 3: Oh man, I'm sure he hit some windshields that we
Speaker 3: just didn't find out about.
Speaker 1: Just feel like a boss, an absolute boss. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Nick JJ from Milwaukee that's back to back. We're big
Speaker 1: in Wisconsin, Danny, This podcast big in the dairy state.
Speaker 1: W I the Badger's state anyway, JJ says, Hey, Ben
Speaker 1: and Danny, I saw that crowd strike that shut down
Speaker 1: the world offered ten dollars gift cards as an apology.
Speaker 1: Is that a fair offer? Come on? JJ? Yeah? What
Speaker 1: do you want to say? It's obviously absurd, But what
Speaker 1: are they gonna do this? So many people were affected.
Speaker 1: I don't know what they they could do. Braydon from
Speaker 1: South Carolina writes, and he says, I have a conspiracy
Speaker 1: theory that doctors actually are in the tank with dentists.
Speaker 1: That is why they give children lollipops. You agree or disagree?
Speaker 1: What do you think, Danny? You think there's a grand
Speaker 1: conspiracy between doctors to help out that their friends who
Speaker 1: are Dennis.
Speaker 3: That might be the best conspiracy theory I've heard in
Speaker 3: two weekends.
Speaker 1: That sounds like something Ty Shirt would come up with you.
Speaker 1: Mike in Kansas City writes in he says, guys, I
Speaker 1: read that Earth is going to set records for the
Speaker 1: hottest days ever recorded.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that happened last It already happened. Yeah, it happened
Speaker 3: last Sunday and Monday back to back.
Speaker 1: Are you Are you guys worried. No, it's the summer
Speaker 1: and it's hot. Spending too much time in the sun
Speaker 1: can lead to some pain, especially if you didn't wear
Speaker 1: any sunscreen. I'll be worried when people start dying, hundreds
Speaker 1: and thousands of people start dying, that I'll be worried.
Speaker 1: I'm not worried because it's hot. It's like it gets
Speaker 1: cold in the winter, it gets hot in the summer. Periods.
Speaker 1: Stop not developing hot dot dot dot. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: just the way it is.
Speaker 3: Have you heard the conspiracy about otter pops? No, neither
Speaker 3: of I okay.
Speaker 1: There are actual otters. There's actually bright blue and red otters.
Speaker 3: Otter feces in each pop dummy.
Speaker 1: It's all related. It's all connected, all of it in
Speaker 1: some weird way. Freddy from Vermont. That is the only
Speaker 1: state in New England I have not been to. That's
Speaker 1: the home of Arnie Spanier. Our colleague Arnie Spaniels is
Speaker 1: good old Arnie.
Speaker 3: He sends us maple syrup from there every Christmas.
Speaker 1: I'm surprised that Arnie said. I've known Arnie for way
Speaker 1: too long. But I'm surprised he was lived with in Chicago.
Speaker 1: He's from La. He lived in La.
Speaker 3: He says he went there for his son's hockey career,
Speaker 3: and his son now teaches hockey. But now that his
Speaker 3: son is older, you'd think he would move.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess he likes this a nice little New
Speaker 1: England town and okay, good for you anyway. Freddy says
Speaker 1: he heard this week that or he saw this week
Speaker 1: that Tesla buyers are very upset with Elon Musk endorsing
Speaker 1: Donald Trump, and people are selling their Tesla's. Do you
Speaker 1: believe this from Freddy?
Speaker 3: It's a little extreme.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, people buy Tesla's because they think they're saving
Speaker 1: the world environmentally, and whether Elon Uscus buddies with Trump
Speaker 1: or not, if your goal is to save the world
Speaker 1: and all that from from fossil fuels, even though I've
Speaker 1: read a lot of stories that claim those cars are
Speaker 1: not great for the environment. But if that's what you believe,
Speaker 1: that's your dogma, then why would you care? You might
Speaker 1: and I really think that there's like one percent of people,
Speaker 1: Danny that don't go to a restaurant or don't listen
Speaker 1: to a radio show because of someone's political beliefs, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like you've got to be hardcore
Speaker 1: right or left wing. Yeah, don't be that person. Okay.
Speaker 1: I got friends of mine, you know, or obviously I
Speaker 1: lean a different way, but they're very, very liberal or whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm like whatever. I think they're idiots, but I I'm
Speaker 1: friends with them, so you know, I don't agree with
Speaker 1: their politics and they don't agree with my politics. But
Speaker 1: that's how we grew up, right, Danny. Yeah, that's the way.
Speaker 3: It used to be, is that you didn't talk religion
Speaker 3: and politics at the dinner table, and you didn't base
Speaker 3: your friends on that either. It's what they believe, it's
Speaker 3: what you believe, and that doesn't come between you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't matter. Like you vote for who you want,
Speaker 1: I'll vote for who I want. We'll cross each other
Speaker 1: out and then that's it. Dun Skis, goodbye, see you later,
Speaker 1: good daiser. Yeah. I think that's that's enough.
Speaker 2: Then.
Speaker 3: I think it's a good way to end. One more
Speaker 3: conspiracy from you though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want one more conspiracy, one more from you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: All right? That the refrigerator in your kitchen, right, refrigerator
Speaker 1: that you have in your kitchen. Yeah, is actually alien
Speaker 1: technology and they're they they come down and they live.
Speaker 1: Aliens will come down and rest. They like cold environments,
Speaker 1: so they will they will suck into the back of
Speaker 1: your refrigerator. They're very small aliens standing. Okay, they're very small.
Speaker 1: They're they're kind of like the grays, but they're actually
Speaker 1: like a green color. And they'll live and they'll nap
Speaker 1: in the back of your frigerator because they need the cold.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3: I think the next time you should talk conspiracies is
Speaker 3: when Alex fills in again.
Speaker 1: Yet crickets.
Speaker 3: Help burn the castle down again?
Speaker 1: Yes, all right, we'll have a wonderful rescue day. Remember tonight,
Speaker 1: if you've made it to the end of the podcast,
Speaker 1: you're a true p one. Tonight it's on like Donkey Kong, Bro.
Speaker 3: There's gonna be so much singing.
Speaker 1: All the way we were.
Speaker 2: Learning.
Speaker 1: Gentlemen, how you can't see that scattered picture of the
Speaker 1: smiles we left be It is going to be a
Speaker 1: jam suit riddles, hoot and Nanny nanah a hoe down
Speaker 1: on the radio.
Speaker 3: You know my favorite the joke tellers, the.
Speaker 1: People that try to tell jokes with no studio audience
Speaker 1: laughing at them and they drown. Yeah, yeah, good luck
Speaker 1: on that, but we were looking forward to it. Hot
Speaker 1: Diggity Dog, The Mallard Paulooza twenty twenty fours. And I
Speaker 1: now keep in mind if you have not signed up,
Speaker 1: it's too late, but someone will not show up, so
Speaker 1: we will have some bonus slots that will open up.
Speaker 1: So if you're interested, listen closely. We tell you to
Speaker 1: call call in that'll be coming up.
Speaker 3: And I have I shouldn't have this, probably, but I
Speaker 3: found a copy of your set list. It's like a draft,
Speaker 3: an early draft of it, but looks like you have
Speaker 3: an open spot for a harmonica player.
Speaker 1: Well, we have marked the full name guy, but I
Speaker 1: think he's boycotting the show right now. He's a harmonica guy.
Speaker 1: And we've got Dick and Dayton who does the banjo.
Speaker 1: He's the banjo guy and the mandolin from the Kettering
Speaker 1: Your banjoa Society. So it's just gonna you know what,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a cabaret. It's going to be an
Speaker 1: audio cabaret, is what it's going to be.
Speaker 3: And if this show doesn't get you a Marconi, you're
Speaker 3: never gonna get one.
Speaker 1: At the end of the show, every man, woman, and
Speaker 1: child listens is going to go full Mary Papas not
Speaker 1: Mary Poppin's drunk. They're gonna be singing super califragilistic Xbiali
Speaker 1: dosis or something like that. I think I pushed it,
Speaker 1: but something like that. Anyway, all right, Danny, you're back
Speaker 1: with Covino and Rich, I assume tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, gonna have a fun Monday show. Back at it
Speaker 3: two to four pm on the West Side. That is
Speaker 3: five to seven pm in beautiful Chicago, Illinois, where I
Speaker 3: found out Coveno and Rich are going to be speakers
Speaker 3: at some convention thing. Yeah, I think in September. It
Speaker 3: like it's like radio slash radio sales.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're.
Speaker 3: Going to be representing iHeart there and I might get
Speaker 3: to go on that Chicago trip.
Speaker 1: Oh very good.
Speaker 3: It's a city, one of the major cities I haven't
Speaker 3: been to.
Speaker 1: Well, I know, I've been there a few times over
Speaker 1: the years, so I can recommend some restaurants and nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't get that Chicago deep dish.
Speaker 1: Yeah deep oh yeah, you use so many and the
Speaker 1: I don't know if you like Italian sandwiches, but those
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I do. Legendary in Chicago, great food town.
Speaker 3: Can't wait.
Speaker 1: All right, very good, have a wonderful rest of your
Speaker 1: you know, today, today, Sunday. We'll catch you tonight and
Speaker 1: all week long. And thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, good luck with the talent show tonight.
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's it's the it's more than a talent show.
Speaker 1: It's the Mallard ploose again. It's the audio cabaret.
Speaker 3: Good luck with the freak show tonight.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, there's no freaks that listen in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. What's wrong with you? If you
Speaker 1: lost your mind? Come on, it's the Malard Coalition getting together,
Speaker 1: is what it is.
Speaker 3: Catch you then later, skater gotta murder.
Speaker 1: I gotta go.