Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody, Welcome to this episode of Amy and
Speaker 1: DJ and can you keep a public relationship?
Speaker 2: Right? That?
Speaker 1: As what was up on this episode of Amy and TJ.
Speaker 1: Bro you're making that? Oh you you're making a face
Speaker 1: like what before we even get into that, what would
Speaker 1: your what is your response? Can you, as a public figure,
Speaker 1: in a public relationship that you speak on and put
Speaker 1: out there publicly, ever have any degree of privacy?
Speaker 2: I think you should be able to. Okay, uh, correct,
Speaker 2: it requires the cooperation of other people, which there in
Speaker 2: lies the problem.
Speaker 1: But now everybody's going to argue with you. Wait a minute.
Speaker 1: You want to put this out there when things are great.
Speaker 1: Now I want to ask you a question when things
Speaker 1: aren't so great, And now you want to scream privacy?
Speaker 1: How can how are you supposed to balance that a
Speaker 1: reconcile that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tough, But I just don't think that because
Speaker 2: you make your living in the public eye, that's somehow
Speaker 2: your public.
Speaker 1: Property very good. But I'm stopping you there. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying just because you're in the public eye. I'm saying
Speaker 1: that a part of your being in the public eye
Speaker 1: is you decide to put your relationship out there publicly,
Speaker 1: to speak together on a podcast, on an interview, to
Speaker 1: be on cover of magazines together. You could say no
Speaker 1: to that, So why would you then say, Hey, I
Speaker 1: want to be in the public with my relationship until
Speaker 1: things go bad.
Speaker 2: I just think that's human nature. You're sharing joy, right,
Speaker 2: I mean, I think a lot of times that it's
Speaker 2: not even necessarily manipulative in any way. You're just like
Speaker 2: sharing your joy, sharing your life, and yes, with that
Speaker 2: comes then people's interest in your life. I get that.
Speaker 2: I understand how that works. And then I get that
Speaker 2: when things are tough and rough and not so great,
Speaker 2: you don't want to share that, or maybe in due
Speaker 2: time you're going to, or you're willing to if you
Speaker 2: think it could help other people. But I think you still,
Speaker 2: even if if you are sharing your life and sharing
Speaker 2: your relationship with your curated you know, social media feed,
Speaker 2: I get that. I don't think that then entitles everyone
Speaker 2: to know everything. I just don't. I still I think
Speaker 2: there's a way. I think there's a balance to it,
Speaker 2: and it's a tough balance. I don't know that I
Speaker 2: have the right answer on how to make that balance
Speaker 2: make sense, but I think just inherently people have a
Speaker 2: right to keep some things private, even if they choose
Speaker 2: to share a lot of their relationship.
Speaker 3: That's tough, is it.
Speaker 1: You want to announce to everybody that you just got engaged.
Speaker 1: You want to announce to everybody I'm at These are
Speaker 1: my bridesmaids. You want announced everybody, These of my groomsmen,
Speaker 1: this is who's coming to the wedding, this is where
Speaker 1: we're going to be. And then as soon as somebody
Speaker 1: asks you a question, when there are reports that maybe
Speaker 1: y'all ain't doing so good, how can you then feel
Speaker 1: comfortable being offended or telling someone you don't have a
Speaker 1: right to ask me about the trouble in my relationship.
Speaker 1: I only have a right to give you the positive
Speaker 1: and exactly what I want to give, right.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't think, first of all, I don't think
Speaker 2: that anybody can ask any question. But you also so
Speaker 2: they have a right to ask whatever question they want.
Speaker 2: They have a right to want to know potentially, but
Speaker 2: you also have a right to not share, and you
Speaker 2: don't have to give details, and you certainly don't have to.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, who wants to go and say we're
Speaker 2: getting divorced.
Speaker 4: We've talked about it.
Speaker 3: That was part of our problem.
Speaker 2: That wasn't something that either one of us wanted to
Speaker 2: do or were ready to do. We would have eventually,
Speaker 2: because obviously that would have been something that would have
Speaker 2: needed to be known. But in our time. You know,
Speaker 2: just because you live a public life and you have
Speaker 2: a public relationship doesn't mean that you don't need private
Speaker 2: moments to get through stuff, to figure stuff out. Because
Speaker 2: sometimes when you're going through it, whether it's divorce or
Speaker 2: just difficulties of any kind, you don't even know what
Speaker 2: to say, You don't even really know how you feel.
Speaker 2: You need some time to figure it out, even in
Speaker 2: your own head, for your own life, for your own children,
Speaker 2: before you make it public.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, to your point, you sound exactly like
Speaker 1: the woman we are talking about in this episode, Trista
Speaker 1: Trista and Ryan from the first ever season of Bachelorette. Yes,
Speaker 1: so we're talking twenty years.
Speaker 2: Ago, twenty one years ago.
Speaker 1: Okay, so they have been married and have been going strong,
Speaker 1: have two teenagers that they might wouldn't you say? You've
Speaker 1: watched the show a little bit, not a lot, but
Speaker 1: you watch her season. Would they be the biggest success
Speaker 1: story in the history of that franchise.
Speaker 3: I absolutely think so.
Speaker 2: I So, I have never really watched that franchise from
Speaker 2: start to finish ever, but I did that year for
Speaker 2: whatever reason. I watched The Bachelorette. And we've said this,
Speaker 2: I'm always rooting for love and so especially when you
Speaker 2: see two people come together in a very non conventional way,
Speaker 2: but in front of everybody, I have been rooting. I've
Speaker 2: checked in, like on her Instagram, on them, like I
Speaker 2: want to believe that you know, true love exists and
Speaker 2: that you can make it work, even if you're in
Speaker 2: the public eye, even with teenagers, you know, And so
Speaker 2: I've I've followed along and been a cheerleader the scenes.
Speaker 1: I assume then you were disappointed and when some of
Speaker 1: the stuff started creeping out, I guess maybe a week
Speaker 1: or so ago, or certainly in recent weeks her husband
Speaker 1: Ryan Sutter. So, Ryan was putting out messages that and
Speaker 1: again quote unquote, they were calling them cryptic, but he
Speaker 1: was speaking as if he had not spoken to his
Speaker 1: wife Trista, or he was not in contact with her.
Speaker 1: That set off some alarm bells to where people thought
Speaker 1: they were on their way to divorce. Now, when you
Speaker 1: were seeing all this stuff, did you. Were you starting
Speaker 1: to get concerned?
Speaker 2: I was, But I also was a little concerned that
Speaker 2: he was almost fishing without her, Like I found that
Speaker 2: to be a little bit like he was putting out
Speaker 2: he was putting out cryptic messages, so he was he
Speaker 2: was stry. Okay, he was creating the ripples. I don't
Speaker 2: No one would have known necessarily, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, but keep it to yourself. We wouldn't known.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I was.
Speaker 2: I think I was disappointed that he was doing that. Like,
Speaker 2: if you have something to say, I get that, or
Speaker 2: if you want to, but it just felt like he
Speaker 2: was almost poking the bear, like he was trying to
Speaker 2: get her to react, or even a way to.
Speaker 4: Get her to say something.
Speaker 3: Putting it out.
Speaker 2: There publicly, she would then feel the pressure to say something,
Speaker 2: do something.
Speaker 1: Okay, Now when you put it that way, I get it, okay,
Speaker 1: And I want to stop this podcast because that sounds
Speaker 1: like people who are legitimately going through a relationship something.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That makes you do crazy things. Yeah, and you get
Speaker 1: desperate and you try to reach out. And we've all
Speaker 1: done something stupid to try to get the other person
Speaker 1: to call us or text or do something out. We've
Speaker 1: done that I did not think about the way you
Speaker 1: might like call.
Speaker 2: Someone's best friend to just be like, hey, what's up.
Speaker 2: You know, you just kind of like put the feelers out,
Speaker 2: you know, like, what's the what's the what's really happening?
Speaker 3: What do I not know?
Speaker 1: I don't think like that.
Speaker 3: But it was strange.
Speaker 2: I mean that was just my perception that I just
Speaker 2: thought it was weird that he was doing that. I mean,
Speaker 2: it definitely felt deliberate.
Speaker 1: Okay, to your point, yes I didn't. I didn't see this.
Speaker 1: But to your point, he wrote this on Mother's Day quote,
Speaker 1: I really wish I could talk to you, ask you
Speaker 1: how you're doing, how was your day. I'd really like
Speaker 1: to hear your voice just for a minute. So many
Speaker 1: times I've called without much to say, not realizing how
Speaker 1: lucky I was or how much I'd miss the opportunity
Speaker 1: if it were gone.
Speaker 2: That's not cryptic. That's not that's not cryptic at all.
Speaker 2: That's she's not returning my phone calls. I mean, that
Speaker 2: is with that.
Speaker 3: Says, And I mean, who am I to judge? Because
Speaker 3: it worked.
Speaker 1: There's no judge. Okay, she reacted, Okay, but he had
Speaker 1: to react to that one because He then writes another
Speaker 1: post that said he often writes quote without regard for
Speaker 1: how his post will be interpreted, and with absolutely no
Speaker 1: intent to deceive or mislead anyone. That is the farthest,
Speaker 1: farthest thing from my mind. Now, after reading that, it
Speaker 1: sounds like some other people might have been writing into him,
Speaker 1: saying the same things you were saying here, right, And
Speaker 1: then he had to say something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it seemed like, wait, if why can't you
Speaker 2: just have that private text back and forth? Why do
Speaker 2: you have to put that out on Mother's Day of
Speaker 2: all days? Too? He was calling her out. I mean,
Speaker 2: he was trying to say I miss you, but he
Speaker 2: was a public cry.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me try one more for you. Okay, from
Speaker 1: him again, quote, Trista is fine, We are fine, We're great.
Speaker 1: Trista is at a place in life where she is
Speaker 1: searching a bit. An opportunity presented itself that may help
Speaker 1: her on that quest. With her family support, she has
Speaker 1: taken it. Part of that process means that she is
Speaker 1: temporarily inaccessible to us. End quote. Now, what how do
Speaker 1: you leave someone alone? How are you asking for privacy?
Speaker 1: I'm not saying they are necessarily, but that is a
Speaker 1: lot of public stuff and a few posts that, I mean,
Speaker 1: what they choosing to do it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree, Like I think in that case
Speaker 2: you asked, you know, can you keep things private? Certainly
Speaker 2: he chose not to, though, and so then of course
Speaker 2: people are going to conjecture. And I think a lot
Speaker 2: of well meaning people, someone like me who really hopes
Speaker 2: that they're okay and really wants them to be good
Speaker 2: and wants to believe that they're going to figure it out.
Speaker 2: But I think it definitely was not cryptic, now that
Speaker 2: you just I heard you just say it. He was
Speaker 2: absolutely saying my wife is not talking to me, and
Speaker 2: I wish she would and that's tough. And I have
Speaker 2: to say, I really, do you know how much time
Speaker 2: it was between when he put those out and when
Speaker 2: she actually just because she just responded on Instagram and
Speaker 2: a yeah, oh the weekend, And I actually I actually
Speaker 2: liked what she had to say. But one of my
Speaker 2: she did write a lot, but one of my favorite,
Speaker 2: one of my favorite quotes, this was just the first one.
Speaker 2: She said, Gee's people, can't a girl have a nervous breakdown? Trial, separation,
Speaker 2: midlife crisis, death, divorce?
Speaker 3: In peace around here. I mean, she just kind of.
Speaker 1: Put at the smiling laughing emojis.
Speaker 2: Laughing emojis, so that I would say is cryptic because
Speaker 2: which one is it?
Speaker 3: Is it none of the above? Is it all the above?
Speaker 3: Is it some of the above? Is it A and
Speaker 3: B and not D? I don't know.
Speaker 2: But she did at least handle it with a little humor,
Speaker 2: kind of a wink and a nod. And she put
Speaker 2: a family photo of them all together, the two of
Speaker 2: them with their kids. So I don't know if that's
Speaker 2: a recent photo, if they've been reunited. But yeah, it's tough,
Speaker 2: not It's tough to ask people to not weigh in
Speaker 2: when you've literally asked people in a way to weigh
Speaker 2: in by putting something like that out on social media.
Speaker 1: Okay for your here you go. This is what she
Speaker 1: tells us. I chose myself and betterment, knowing that my
Speaker 1: stay at home mom job and my kids end of
Speaker 1: the school year needs were in the best most capable hands.
Speaker 1: She but she sounds like she did step away and
Speaker 1: need to step away to where it was understood that
Speaker 1: he was gonna have to be responsible for everything while
Speaker 1: she's out of pocket. Now this given look, we all
Speaker 1: have a lot of folks have gone through something. Now,
Speaker 1: we've been through something relationship wise. Who listen to this
Speaker 1: and you're not you're not speculating your heart's hurting, Like
Speaker 1: you recognize some things in here, like Wow, those people
Speaker 1: are going through something. Clearly they choose to put it
Speaker 1: out publicly. That's on them. But in reading it and
Speaker 1: diving into it more than the headlines, your heart kind
Speaker 1: of works like, Wow, I'm sorry for what you're going through,
Speaker 1: but I'm sorry you feel like you have to do
Speaker 1: this now in this public way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of times people
Speaker 2: are looking for support, even you know, so it doesn't
Speaker 2: matter who you are. You're you know, whether you're you
Speaker 2: know Ryan Sutter or you're you know the guy next door.
Speaker 2: But sometimes people just want to know they're not alone,
Speaker 2: or they want other people to know, Hey, I'm going
Speaker 2: through it, and in a way, they're looking for support
Speaker 2: from the public. And I think maybe that could have
Speaker 2: been what was going on as well, Like you're people
Speaker 2: want to feel like especially if he was feeling scared
Speaker 2: and lonely and like he wanted to know other people
Speaker 2: kind of had his back. Maybe I'm worried about him
Speaker 2: and them, and that felt good. I mean, I get that.
Speaker 2: You know, there is a collective hug. Obviously there can
Speaker 2: be some really negative, nasty, awful things going on with
Speaker 2: social media, but there can also be this feeling of
Speaker 2: like I'm not alone, and so maybe that's what he
Speaker 2: was trying to.
Speaker 1: Do, she continues. We look at Instagram like a digital diary.
Speaker 1: Most of the time, the world doesn't pay too much attention.
Speaker 1: This time, he her husband couldn't say anything right. Just
Speaker 1: about every news outlet picked up on his quote. Cryptic, confusing,
Speaker 1: attention sinking, dramatic pictures and captions. Wow, to me, they
Speaker 1: gave me exactly what my words of affirmation love language
Speaker 1: needed to get me through some serious self doubt and fear.
Speaker 1: And that's all that matters. Wow. She is defending what
Speaker 1: he did and saying what he did was exactly what
Speaker 1: she needed. We're seeing this all play out. You and
Speaker 1: I love watching how couples communicate, but this is interesting.
Speaker 1: It's really fascinating to see it.
Speaker 2: You know what she is, So that is fascinating because
Speaker 2: you know what it was. I heard what he wrote.
Speaker 2: He was saying, I love you, I miss you, we
Speaker 2: need you. You're of value to us. We want you back,
Speaker 2: And that might have been what she needed to hear,
Speaker 2: because maybe she felt like she and I are the
Speaker 2: same age. You know, you're doing everything for your kids,
Speaker 2: You're racing around. She's she's spent her whole life being
Speaker 2: their mom and his wife right as her full time job,
Speaker 2: and so maybe she just felt unappreciated and felt overwhelmed
Speaker 2: and thought, what have I done with my life? And
Speaker 2: maybe what he wrote is exactly what she needed to hear,
Speaker 2: and he did it in a public way so everyone
Speaker 2: could see how much he valued and they valued her
Speaker 2: as a woman, as a wife as Oh that's.
Speaker 1: Fascinating, Like how much value in a public relationship or
Speaker 1: even a private relationship I say private, and that it's
Speaker 1: not one that's out there the celebrity couple for lack
Speaker 1: of a better phrase, like how much is that needed
Speaker 1: from day to day from any couple? Because social media
Speaker 1: now is where if you are not talking about your
Speaker 1: significant other, your significant what you're not proud of me?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, birthdays now and adversaries, you got to like
Speaker 2: write a like a love letter, like a birthday cards
Speaker 2: to the whole world to see because it's not good
Speaker 2: enough if I just.
Speaker 3: Give you one privately. We got to put it up
Speaker 3: there for everyone to see.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's true.
Speaker 3: I do that for my girls on birthdays. They want,
Speaker 3: they want, they and I get that.
Speaker 2: It's absolutely like, then you feel good and everyone who
Speaker 2: says happy birthday to you and says he's captions and
Speaker 2: pictures of the year that you spent with them with
Speaker 2: different moments. Then you then take that, put it on
Speaker 2: your store and say, see how many.
Speaker 3: People's a happy birthday to me?
Speaker 2: Like it's where we are in this world? We're all
Speaker 2: you know, there are all versions of it.
Speaker 1: Well, you say, is where we are? Is it where
Speaker 1: we need to just accept where we are? Or do
Speaker 1: we need to do something about it? Because it's either
Speaker 1: going to continue to go the direction it's going, or
Speaker 1: we're going to slow it down or maybe back it up.
Speaker 1: Because that sounds to your point. Words of affirmation are
Speaker 1: supposed to be the words I give you, not the
Speaker 1: words other people hear me give you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, I totally agree with you and what
Speaker 2: you're saying. I will say this, if you're saying something
Speaker 2: positive about someone in a public way, that's amazing, Like
Speaker 2: there's nothing bad about that now, needing it, requiring it,
Speaker 2: getting pissed if it doesn't happen.
Speaker 3: That's a whole other issue.
Speaker 2: But it's I don't think anyone's going to be upset
Speaker 2: if the person they love tells the world how much
Speaker 2: they love them on social media. Now, other people might
Speaker 2: be annoyed by that might be nausegating to other people,
Speaker 2: wait to the.
Speaker 1: Public or to the person, Like some people might like,
Speaker 1: stop talking about me on social media. I don't like that.
Speaker 2: There's that, But I think I think it's for me,
Speaker 2: like I can only speak for myself. I think it's
Speaker 2: if it feels untrue, manipulative, Like what you do in
Speaker 2: private is very different, and then in public, oh, you're
Speaker 2: grandstanding and show voting and saying how much you love
Speaker 2: like love bombing me in front of everyone, and then
Speaker 2: when you know in quiet other moments, it's not the
Speaker 2: same that I do not like.
Speaker 1: Bombs. In fact, it's just an explosion of love.
Speaker 2: Love bombing someone you you tell them how much you
Speaker 2: love them, and needed are you actually trying to get
Speaker 2: something from them? That? Like, the love bombing is manipulative?
Speaker 2: I think, Andy, have you heard of love bombings?
Speaker 5: It is a phrase. Yeah, it's not a good one.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 3: It's manipulative.
Speaker 1: What is love?
Speaker 5: You?
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 3: You overwhelm a.
Speaker 1: Show of love for an audience.
Speaker 5: Showering of affection. So this way, everybody is kind of
Speaker 5: just like oh wow, he like really like you're doing.
Speaker 2: Too much, and you're doing it because you want people
Speaker 2: to say you're a good guy, like see how much
Speaker 2: I love my wife, See how much I'm a good Hugh.
Speaker 2: It's been like it's so it ends up being narcissistic.
Speaker 2: But it's hard to necessarily see in the moment because
Speaker 2: you're feeling the love bomb. Yes, but if you can
Speaker 2: see past and through the love bomb, it's actually not
Speaker 2: a good thing.
Speaker 1: So in the moment you fall with the love bomb, Well, some.
Speaker 3: People do not everyone.
Speaker 1: I mean, I am I giving you a love bomb?
Speaker 2: You have not and I don't need you to really No,
Speaker 2: it's all the little small things that no one sees
Speaker 2: that from me are important.
Speaker 1: Look, we're in a room that our faces are on
Speaker 1: the screens, and it says Amy and TJ. That's a
Speaker 1: pretty big love bomb. How much a declaration do I need?
Speaker 1: I signed a contract with you? You signed on the top.
Speaker 3: Have I ever loved bombed you.
Speaker 1: No, not a love missile, not a firecracker.
Speaker 3: It was Sparkler, have a love Sparkler.
Speaker 1: Okay, Sparkler's God you do. You got just the givet
Speaker 1: the keyszone given. I love it. But I'm going to
Speaker 1: finish with Tristo because she finished her post with this
Speaker 1: line quote, After all, nervous breakdowns and separations require much
Speaker 1: needed rest and relaxation. Like that's almost she's messing with us.
Speaker 3: Yes, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2: I think if you can turn anything into a little
Speaker 2: bit of humor, I'm on board. I think that's how
Speaker 2: we get through most of life's crap is laughing, and
Speaker 2: if you can laugh about it, she's ahead of the game.
Speaker 1: But this was something that Andy now, our producer, sent us.
Speaker 1: He came up with a list of questions. I mean,
Speaker 1: he sits in here off in time, he listens to look.
Speaker 1: If y'all don't know, Andy, hears all the podcasts, but
Speaker 1: he hears a lot of stuff that happens before and
Speaker 1: after with being robot. He sees us as a couple
Speaker 1: and as colleagues day in day out. So he actually
Speaker 1: thought of he was curious about what it's like to,
Speaker 1: I guess, try to be a couple, try to maintain
Speaker 1: a relationship in the public eyes in private. But and
Speaker 1: you go ahead. You had some things that were kind
Speaker 1: of thought provoking. We don't have the answers to them yet,
Speaker 1: but we waiting for you to put us on the
Speaker 1: spot with it.
Speaker 5: Yeah. So one of them that I had was what
Speaker 5: is it about relationships in the public eye that make
Speaker 5: it difficult? Like? What do people not understand?
Speaker 2: I think the hard part is knowing that everyone's commenting
Speaker 2: on what you do, what you say, how you look
Speaker 2: at each other. I think just knowing that you're being
Speaker 2: scrutinized every time you go out or anytime you post
Speaker 2: anything is tough to always try to make sure that
Speaker 2: I mean, I just I want to be living our
Speaker 2: truth and be able to be free to be us
Speaker 2: without worrying what other people are thinking about us being us.
Speaker 2: So it's just it's a little tricky to get that
Speaker 2: out of your head and to just really live and
Speaker 2: not live wondering what people are saying, thinking writing all
Speaker 2: of that. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think of pulling people to understand. I think
Speaker 1: it is just that every single thing you go through
Speaker 1: in your relationship. We go through in ours, that's getting
Speaker 1: up in the morning, which you're gotta eat, who makes
Speaker 1: who does laundry, who's taking the kids, who's every single
Speaker 1: thing we are dealing with, like everybody else. Is just
Speaker 1: the added part of that sometimes that it feels awful
Speaker 1: to try to fake a relationship in both ways. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean by that. I have tried to
Speaker 1: put on to make sure the public had the impression
Speaker 1: that things were going good in my relationship. But now
Speaker 1: things are going great in my relationship, and I'm now
Speaker 1: making sure I don't let the public know that because
Speaker 1: it seems like in our relationship folks are rooting for you,
Speaker 1: are they're rooting against you, or they have some problem.
Speaker 1: We talked about shame here, like we were for so long,
Speaker 1: like made to feel shame for our relationship. So it's
Speaker 1: weird to be in a wonderful place and not want
Speaker 1: people to know it because you're worried about what they're
Speaker 1: going to say about you actually being happy. And that
Speaker 1: seems stupid as hell.
Speaker 4: But yeah, and.
Speaker 5: So off of that, how much weight do you guys
Speaker 5: place on social media in your relationship and is it
Speaker 5: important to actually post the ones you love.
Speaker 4: HM. So I've struggled with this because obviously we've got
Speaker 4: this podcast and our relationship is on display professionally, and
Speaker 4: then obviously we've got our personal moments, and so I
Speaker 4: have not I haven't figured it out.
Speaker 2: Like I don't want to post too much about what
Speaker 2: we do privately, but sometimes I do want to share it.
Speaker 2: So I'm I'm I'm, I haven't figured it out yet,
Speaker 2: because I also don't want to be annoying, like look
Speaker 2: at us smiling, look at us hugging, look at us kissing.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think most people get annoyed. It's funny people.
Speaker 2: You know, it's called unfollow, Like you can unfollow anyone
Speaker 2: who gets annoying. But I see other people who are annoying,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't want to be like that.
Speaker 2: So it's I don't know what the right answer is.
Speaker 4: You don't really do any of that.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm looking for the right answer, but it's that
Speaker 1: was a month that I have not posted anything with
Speaker 1: you on Instagram for a month. That's and I'm with
Speaker 1: you all day every day, haven't posted a single thing,
Speaker 1: and the last you know, I haven't. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find The last thing I posted that was just personal.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at hey. If I'm looking you see you hear.
Speaker 3: This style here A D gives it sounds like me
Speaker 3: on my phone.
Speaker 1: It was in January.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 1: Like everything else had to do with the podcast. We're
Speaker 1: doing something or going to an event, but I haven't
Speaker 1: just posted about the two of us. And again, a
Speaker 1: lot of that does, unfortunately have to do with you
Speaker 1: don't want to You worry about the support you get
Speaker 1: when you start dating somebody. You worried about your mother,
Speaker 1: I'm going to support it, your sister, your kids, or
Speaker 1: something else. We had to deal with all of that,
Speaker 1: and now we sit here completely free of any of that,
Speaker 1: but concern about being accepted outside of our family. We're
Speaker 1: worried about being accepted by the public and followers and
Speaker 1: all these kinds. I hate, hate, hate. I've admitted it,
Speaker 1: but I hate admitting it. It sucks. But I'm sitting
Speaker 1: here with this woman I love. I sit next to
Speaker 1: her every day. I declare it several times a day,
Speaker 1: and anytime we do a podcast, I'm usually declaring it publicly.
Speaker 1: So it's not really much of a confusion about where
Speaker 1: I stand with you.
Speaker 3: What are you trying to hide the private.
Speaker 1: It's silly.
Speaker 2: Well, you don't want to look like you're trying to
Speaker 2: prove something right or like you're doing something just for show.
Speaker 2: But if you just try to keep it authentic, I
Speaker 2: guess let people decide what they want to think, because
Speaker 2: they're going to anyway regardless had.
Speaker 1: You buttoned it up at that at the end, because
Speaker 1: last time we let people think what they wanted to think,
Speaker 1: things ain't go so well.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, just off.
Speaker 5: The heels of that. Are you going to follow her
Speaker 5: on Instagram? Because I know you only have the one
Speaker 5: follower rule?
Speaker 1: What Andy, we were doing so well? Why you have
Speaker 1: to bring up?
Speaker 2: Oh shit, I rolled my eyes at you in a
Speaker 2: long time, but I just rolled my eyes at you.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I know, I know. I haven't haven't given any more thought,
Speaker 1: which means no, I haven't give any more thoughts.
Speaker 5: The next question I have is when it comes to
Speaker 5: reading about yourself and the press, what can that do
Speaker 5: to her relationship? And can it cause distrust?
Speaker 1: Hmm, you know, I will, I'll let you take the rest.
Speaker 1: I'll only mention this because it just happened the other
Speaker 1: day that you I don't even know what we were.
Speaker 1: I think we were getting ready for a podcast, but
Speaker 1: I was asking something about articles, something in the past
Speaker 1: that it I needed something some some silly headlines from
Speaker 1: the past that were ridiculous, and you were looking them
Speaker 1: up and you sent me a screen grab of an article.
Speaker 1: And my response to Robot was, sweetheart, please don't send
Speaker 1: me any images of the articles. I do not read
Speaker 1: and look at anything press wise. When it comes to
Speaker 1: me and us, not a single thing. To the point
Speaker 1: that she's just given me a screen grap with a headline,
Speaker 1: I say, hey, baby, remember and I'm just that's how
Speaker 1: I am. So when it comes to your question, is
Speaker 1: that's where I am?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is triggering, I think because I could have
Speaker 2: put the headline in there and you would have been okay,
Speaker 2: because you just asked for some ridiculous headlines.
Speaker 4: But to see it, to see.
Speaker 2: Our pictures, it just it starts you actually feel I
Speaker 2: go right back to feeling my chest tightens. You're worried
Speaker 2: about what they're saying. You start getting in your head
Speaker 2: about what the reaction is, and then you start overthinking things.
Speaker 2: So I agree, and I always say like, okay, I
Speaker 2: can look and I can I'll be okay, but then
Speaker 2: I realize if I'm being honest, you know, thirty minutes later,
Speaker 2: an hour later, I feel a heaviness. I feel the
Speaker 2: weight of it. I feel I don't like knowing that
Speaker 2: people think one way about me or one way about him,
Speaker 2: and it's divisive. I mean, it's not all like that,
Speaker 2: but yes, when I do read those things, it does
Speaker 2: affect me. I've tried really hard not to. I've a
Speaker 2: couple of times have fallen off the wagon, so to speak,
Speaker 2: and I've read some of the comments and I've always
Speaker 2: regretted it, like I regret it every time. It's not helpful,
Speaker 2: and I'm giving away not just my power but our
Speaker 2: power because we know who we are, and we know
Speaker 2: what we've done to build where we are in our
Speaker 2: lives together, and nothing that anyone can say should change that.
Speaker 2: So it's it's but it does affect. It does affect
Speaker 2: us and me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna post about you today.
Speaker 4: Are you You're gonna love momy?
Speaker 1: You just ruined it. I have something in mind. I
Speaker 1: use okay, I gotta read think.
Speaker 5: My last question was when it comes to your privacy
Speaker 5: in the public eye, what boundaries are necessary? To set
Speaker 5: with your partner beforehand.
Speaker 2: We have always I don't neither one of us have
Speaker 2: ever posted a picture without the other person giving approval.
Speaker 4: Just for that reason.
Speaker 2: I think that's a very important boundary to not just
Speaker 2: you know, think that I can put whatever I want
Speaker 2: up about you or about us and not have it
Speaker 2: affect us. So I think we just need to always
Speaker 2: be on the same page with that, and privacy wise,
Speaker 2: I think the same goes with having conversations just with anybody.
Speaker 2: Forget social media, forget to not I don't talk about
Speaker 2: if we have a disagreement, I don't go call someone.
Speaker 2: I don't go call my mom. I don't we don't.
Speaker 2: We work it out together. And I think that's an
Speaker 2: important boundary, whether you're a public couple or a private couple.
Speaker 2: I think you know.
Speaker 3: That matters, that that trust matters.
Speaker 1: I think that's what I was thinking of a situation.
Speaker 1: I think it had to do with Nikki were talking
Speaker 1: about keeping a relationship private. Anytime I have heard that
Speaker 1: there was something someone outside of the two of us
Speaker 1: was aware of before I was, that is that's the
Speaker 1: only boundary. Social media wise, we just don't have that issue.
Speaker 1: But as far as boundaries. Think we're on the same
Speaker 1: page there we have gotten into. I hate to give
Speaker 1: this away because some member of the Papa riets is
Speaker 1: going to figure it out, but we've said this that
Speaker 1: comes to privacy we have with the weather's nice. Now
Speaker 1: we've gone out and we start to go to certain
Speaker 1: restaurants and sit outside and enjoy the weather. We sit
Speaker 1: now in places we never would have said a year ago. No,
Speaker 1: like on full display, like anybody, and we constantly people
Speaker 1: are constantly stopping.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: They still want to say hello, they want to take
Speaker 1: pictures and all kinds of stuff. But we absolutely now
Speaker 1: when it comes to privacy, at least being out that's
Speaker 1: not revealing something mean about what's going on at home,
Speaker 1: but at least as far as being seen, being spotted,
Speaker 1: being together with whatever we're doing, we're better about that
Speaker 1: than we have ever been.
Speaker 2: Oh it's just nice, I think to not have been
Speaker 2: able to do that, or to not feel free to
Speaker 2: do that for definitely for a full year. I am
Speaker 2: so much more appreciative of just being able to sit
Speaker 2: out in the sun and you know, be out in
Speaker 2: public in an open space like that was no way
Speaker 2: could we have done that, right, So It's just funny
Speaker 2: how you get that perspective of how appreciative we are
Speaker 2: to just have that moment and people have been kind
Speaker 2: and anyone who does come up, maybe they ask for
Speaker 2: a picture, but they've been really cool. We you know
Speaker 2: what we don't like, I think this is anybody could
Speaker 2: this this is, but but this is actually I think
Speaker 2: about how I was maybe if I spotted somebody who
Speaker 2: I liked or a celebrity, Like we appreciate anyone who
Speaker 2: wants to come up and say, hey, we love you guys,
Speaker 2: or we listen to your podcast, or we're rooting for you.
Speaker 2: And if they say, would you mind if I got
Speaker 2: a picture, we'll always say yes. We didn't before a
Speaker 2: year ago we were not did not feel comfortable saying that,
Speaker 2: but now we'll always say yes, like always. What we
Speaker 2: don't like is when people surreptitiously is that how you
Speaker 2: say it, take a picture and think we can't see
Speaker 2: them doing it, Like I don't like feeling like I'm
Speaker 2: in an aquarium or I'm on display to the point
Speaker 2: where you're going to just take a picture of me,
Speaker 2: like without me knowing, and because we can almost always
Speaker 2: see it, by the way, and just we'd almost well, no,
Speaker 2: not almost. We'd always rather someone come up and say
Speaker 2: hi and take the picture with us, with our consent.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's what.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: We have absolutely left places. We have walked out of restaurants,
Speaker 1: we have changed train cars, we have done a lot
Speaker 1: of things to get away from folks who were behaving
Speaker 1: in that way. And look, we don't know if they
Speaker 1: got ill intent or not, but we have had people
Speaker 1: who've done that before and they did have all intent.
Speaker 1: And it calls serious problems in our relationships, in our
Speaker 1: and a lot of stuff I thought we've learned.
Speaker 2: I think people think that they're being that they're respecting
Speaker 2: our privacy by not coming up to us. I actually
Speaker 2: think they might think I don't want to bother them,
Speaker 2: but I want a picture. I would every time rather
Speaker 2: you come ask for the picture every time.
Speaker 1: All Right, you heard it here, folks, Sydney Andy. I'm
Speaker 1: a report back next week. She got into a fight
Speaker 1: on the train because somebody asked for a picture.
Speaker 2: You said, ask, yes, No, it's always more polite to ask,
Speaker 2: And I think it's it's not an invasion of privacy
Speaker 2: if you're saying something kind, but to do it without
Speaker 2: us realizing it or to do it when you think
Speaker 2: we're not looking. That actually is something that we don't prefer.
Speaker 1: We will leave you though on this one with that
Speaker 1: ridiculous movie recommendation. Oh, yes, she's very you could tell
Speaker 1: she's very excited. Go ahead, give it to him.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so first I'll give you the name of
Speaker 2: the name of the movie.
Speaker 3: It's called There's Something in the Barn. Yes, wonderful name.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're cure you already Something in the Barn.
Speaker 2: Now, imagine an American family moving to Norway because he's
Speaker 2: inherited a home that his uncle gave him. Okay, so
Speaker 2: that's where it begins. But what's in the barn is
Speaker 2: what makes it so great because you might be thinking
Speaker 2: it's some you know, haunted barn.
Speaker 4: Well not exactly.
Speaker 2: Should we tell them horror comedy, right, Oh, it's absolutely
Speaker 2: horror comedy. And you just have to like it's funny, okay,
Speaker 2: and you just have to be willing to laugh at this.
Speaker 2: But I will argue the writing is spectacular. They're making
Speaker 2: fun of Americans and Norwegians all in one time. And
Speaker 2: then the folklore that is a huge part of Norway.
Speaker 2: But I just thought it was brilliantly done, a lot
Speaker 2: of like physical comedy that's supposed to be horror, but
Speaker 2: it's also common. I mean, I just cannot say enough
Speaker 2: good things about this movie. I want to watch it again.
Speaker 2: We actually context we watched it two thirty in the morning.
Speaker 1: I don't know, not just because we were up, but
Speaker 1: we've been up, but we had passed out and we
Speaker 1: woke up yep, at two in the morning. It's like,
Speaker 1: let's put a movie on. And we found that one
Speaker 1: and it delivered at two thirty. We stayed up tillfore
Speaker 1: watching this movie.
Speaker 2: Well what happened is I think I had to get
Speaker 2: up at four am with you. So by the time
Speaker 2: eight thirty rolled around, I was asleep. And then I
Speaker 2: woke up at two thirty fully refreshed, and.
Speaker 3: So I was like, let's watch a movie, sweetheart.
Speaker 1: Why did you turned negative all of a sudden? Why
Speaker 1: you have to put all of our business out there?
Speaker 1: And then we talk about keeping some things private.
Speaker 2: Well, everyone knows you're a very early riser, and sometimes
Speaker 2: you're even earlier than others.
Speaker 3: And then Sweetheart, we had a good, nice ending to
Speaker 3: this show.
Speaker 1: Here's a movie recommendation. It's funny, you'll have a good time.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. By the way, and with this apisold, it
Speaker 1: likes to wake up it foe and so I'm might
Speaker 1: as well. Geez okay, folks follow us at Amy and
Speaker 1: TJ Podcast. We got to go work something out privately.
Speaker 1: See ye.
Speaker 3: Ampation, thet Thetations, the