1 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody, Welcome to this episode of Amy and 2 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:09,959 Speaker 1: DJ and can you keep a public relationship? 3 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 2: Right? That? 4 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: As what was up on this episode of Amy and TJ. 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: Bro you're making that? Oh you you're making a face 6 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: like what before we even get into that, what would 7 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: your what is your response? Can you, as a public figure, 8 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: in a public relationship that you speak on and put 9 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: out there publicly, ever have any degree of privacy? 10 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 2: I think you should be able to. Okay, uh, correct, 11 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 2: it requires the cooperation of other people, which there in 12 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 2: lies the problem. 13 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 1: But now everybody's going to argue with you. Wait a minute. 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,480 Speaker 1: You want to put this out there when things are great. 15 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: Now I want to ask you a question when things 16 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: aren't so great, And now you want to scream privacy? 17 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: How can how are you supposed to balance that a 18 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,040 Speaker 1: reconcile that. 19 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tough, But I just don't think that because 20 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: you make your living in the public eye, that's somehow 21 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 2: your public. 22 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: Property very good. But I'm stopping you there. I'm not 23 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,119 Speaker 1: saying just because you're in the public eye. I'm saying 24 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,960 Speaker 1: that a part of your being in the public eye 25 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: is you decide to put your relationship out there publicly, 26 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: to speak together on a podcast, on an interview, to 27 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: be on cover of magazines together. You could say no 28 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: to that, So why would you then say, Hey, I 29 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 1: want to be in the public with my relationship until 30 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 1: things go bad. 31 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 2: I just think that's human nature. You're sharing joy, right, 32 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 2: I mean, I think a lot of times that it's 33 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 2: not even necessarily manipulative in any way. You're just like 34 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 2: sharing your joy, sharing your life, and yes, with that 35 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 2: comes then people's interest in your life. I get that. 36 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 2: I understand how that works. And then I get that 37 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 2: when things are tough and rough and not so great, 38 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 2: you don't want to share that, or maybe in due 39 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 2: time you're going to, or you're willing to if you 40 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 2: think it could help other people. But I think you still, 41 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 2: even if if you are sharing your life and sharing 42 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 2: your relationship with your curated you know, social media feed, 43 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 2: I get that. I don't think that then entitles everyone 44 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 2: to know everything. I just don't. I still I think 45 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 2: there's a way. I think there's a balance to it, 46 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 2: and it's a tough balance. I don't know that I 47 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 2: have the right answer on how to make that balance 48 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 2: make sense, but I think just inherently people have a 49 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 2: right to keep some things private, even if they choose 50 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 2: to share a lot of their relationship. 51 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:35,239 Speaker 3: That's tough, is it. 52 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: You want to announce to everybody that you just got engaged. 53 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 1: You want to announce to everybody I'm at These are 54 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 1: my bridesmaids. You want announced everybody, These of my groomsmen, 55 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,399 Speaker 1: this is who's coming to the wedding, this is where 56 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: we're going to be. And then as soon as somebody 57 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: asks you a question, when there are reports that maybe 58 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: y'all ain't doing so good, how can you then feel 59 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: comfortable being offended or telling someone you don't have a 60 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 1: right to ask me about the trouble in my relationship. 61 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: I only have a right to give you the positive 62 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: and exactly what I want to give, right. 63 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 2: Well, I don't think, first of all, I don't think 64 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 2: that anybody can ask any question. But you also so 65 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 2: they have a right to ask whatever question they want. 66 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 2: They have a right to want to know potentially, but 67 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 2: you also have a right to not share, and you 68 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 2: don't have to give details, and you certainly don't have to. 69 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, who wants to go and say we're 70 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 2: getting divorced. 71 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 4: We've talked about it. 72 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 3: That was part of our problem. 73 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 2: That wasn't something that either one of us wanted to 74 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 2: do or were ready to do. We would have eventually, 75 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 2: because obviously that would have been something that would have 76 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 2: needed to be known. But in our time. You know, 77 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 2: just because you live a public life and you have 78 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 2: a public relationship doesn't mean that you don't need private 79 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 2: moments to get through stuff, to figure stuff out. Because 80 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 2: sometimes when you're going through it, whether it's divorce or 81 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 2: just difficulties of any kind, you don't even know what 82 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 2: to say, You don't even really know how you feel. 83 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 2: You need some time to figure it out, even in 84 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 2: your own head, for your own life, for your own children, 85 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 2: before you make it public. 86 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: Well, you know, to your point, you sound exactly like 87 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: the woman we are talking about in this episode, Trista 88 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: Trista and Ryan from the first ever season of Bachelorette. Yes, 89 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: so we're talking twenty years. 90 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 2: Ago, twenty one years ago. 91 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 1: Okay, so they have been married and have been going strong, 92 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 1: have two teenagers that they might wouldn't you say? You've 93 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: watched the show a little bit, not a lot, but 94 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: you watch her season. Would they be the biggest success 95 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: story in the history of that franchise. 96 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,359 Speaker 3: I absolutely think so. 97 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 2: I So, I have never really watched that franchise from 98 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 2: start to finish ever, but I did that year for 99 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 2: whatever reason. I watched The Bachelorette. And we've said this, 100 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 2: I'm always rooting for love and so especially when you 101 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 2: see two people come together in a very non conventional way, 102 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 2: but in front of everybody, I have been rooting. I've 103 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 2: checked in, like on her Instagram, on them, like I 104 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 2: want to believe that you know, true love exists and 105 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 2: that you can make it work, even if you're in 106 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 2: the public eye, even with teenagers, you know, And so 107 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: I've I've followed along and been a cheerleader the scenes. 108 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 1: I assume then you were disappointed and when some of 109 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: the stuff started creeping out, I guess maybe a week 110 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 1: or so ago, or certainly in recent weeks her husband 111 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: Ryan Sutter. So, Ryan was putting out messages that and 112 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: again quote unquote, they were calling them cryptic, but he 113 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 1: was speaking as if he had not spoken to his 114 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: wife Trista, or he was not in contact with her. 115 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 1: That set off some alarm bells to where people thought 116 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: they were on their way to divorce. Now, when you 117 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 1: were seeing all this stuff, did you. Were you starting 118 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: to get concerned? 119 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 2: I was, But I also was a little concerned that 120 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 2: he was almost fishing without her, Like I found that 121 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 2: to be a little bit like he was putting out 122 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 2: he was putting out cryptic messages, so he was he 123 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 2: was stry. Okay, he was creating the ripples. I don't 124 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 2: No one would have known necessarily, I. 125 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 1: Mean, but keep it to yourself. We wouldn't known. 126 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, So I was. 127 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 2: I think I was disappointed that he was doing that. Like, 128 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 2: if you have something to say, I get that, or 129 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 2: if you want to, but it just felt like he 130 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 2: was almost poking the bear, like he was trying to 131 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 2: get her to react, or even a way to. 132 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,119 Speaker 4: Get her to say something. 133 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 3: Putting it out. 134 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 2: There publicly, she would then feel the pressure to say something, 135 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 2: do something. 136 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: Okay, Now when you put it that way, I get it, okay, 137 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: And I want to stop this podcast because that sounds 138 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: like people who are legitimately going through a relationship something. 139 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. 140 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: That makes you do crazy things. Yeah, and you get 141 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: desperate and you try to reach out. And we've all 142 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: done something stupid to try to get the other person 143 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: to call us or text or do something out. We've 144 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: done that I did not think about the way you 145 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 1: might like call. 146 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 2: Someone's best friend to just be like, hey, what's up. 147 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 2: You know, you just kind of like put the feelers out, 148 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 2: you know, like, what's the what's the what's really happening? 149 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 3: What do I not know? 150 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: I don't think like that. 151 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 3: But it was strange. 152 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 2: I mean that was just my perception that I just 153 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 2: thought it was weird that he was doing that. I mean, 154 00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 2: it definitely felt deliberate. 155 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: Okay, to your point, yes I didn't. I didn't see this. 156 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 1: But to your point, he wrote this on Mother's Day quote, 157 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: I really wish I could talk to you, ask you 158 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: how you're doing, how was your day. I'd really like 159 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: to hear your voice just for a minute. So many 160 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 1: times I've called without much to say, not realizing how 161 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: lucky I was or how much I'd miss the opportunity 162 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 1: if it were gone. 163 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 2: That's not cryptic. That's not that's not cryptic at all. 164 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 2: That's she's not returning my phone calls. I mean, that 165 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 2: is with that. 166 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 3: Says, And I mean, who am I to judge? Because 167 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 3: it worked. 168 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: There's no judge. Okay, she reacted, Okay, but he had 169 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: to react to that one because He then writes another 170 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: post that said he often writes quote without regard for 171 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: how his post will be interpreted, and with absolutely no 172 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 1: intent to deceive or mislead anyone. That is the farthest, 173 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: farthest thing from my mind. Now, after reading that, it 174 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: sounds like some other people might have been writing into him, 175 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 1: saying the same things you were saying here, right, And 176 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: then he had to say something. 177 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it seemed like, wait, if why can't you 178 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 2: just have that private text back and forth? Why do 179 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 2: you have to put that out on Mother's Day of 180 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 2: all days? Too? He was calling her out. I mean, 181 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 2: he was trying to say I miss you, but he 182 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,559 Speaker 2: was a public cry. 183 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: Okay, let me try one more for you. Okay, from 184 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: him again, quote, Trista is fine, We are fine, We're great. 185 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: Trista is at a place in life where she is 186 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: searching a bit. An opportunity presented itself that may help 187 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: her on that quest. With her family support, she has 188 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: taken it. Part of that process means that she is 189 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: temporarily inaccessible to us. End quote. Now, what how do 190 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: you leave someone alone? How are you asking for privacy? 191 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 1: I'm not saying they are necessarily, but that is a 192 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 1: lot of public stuff and a few posts that, I mean, 193 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: what they choosing to do it? 194 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree, Like I think in that case 195 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 2: you asked, you know, can you keep things private? Certainly 196 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 2: he chose not to, though, and so then of course 197 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,959 Speaker 2: people are going to conjecture. And I think a lot 198 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 2: of well meaning people, someone like me who really hopes 199 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 2: that they're okay and really wants them to be good 200 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 2: and wants to believe that they're going to figure it out. 201 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 2: But I think it definitely was not cryptic, now that 202 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 2: you just I heard you just say it. He was 203 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 2: absolutely saying my wife is not talking to me, and 204 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 2: I wish she would and that's tough. And I have 205 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 2: to say, I really, do you know how much time 206 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 2: it was between when he put those out and when 207 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 2: she actually just because she just responded on Instagram and 208 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 2: a yeah, oh the weekend, And I actually I actually 209 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 2: liked what she had to say. But one of my 210 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,959 Speaker 2: she did write a lot, but one of my favorite, 211 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 2: one of my favorite quotes, this was just the first one. 212 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:07,239 Speaker 2: She said, Gee's people, can't a girl have a nervous breakdown? Trial, separation, 213 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 2: midlife crisis, death, divorce? 214 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 3: In peace around here. I mean, she just kind of. 215 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,839 Speaker 1: Put at the smiling laughing emojis. 216 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 2: Laughing emojis, so that I would say is cryptic because 217 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:19,839 Speaker 2: which one is it? 218 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 3: Is it none of the above? Is it all the above? 219 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 3: Is it some of the above? Is it A and 220 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 3: B and not D? I don't know. 221 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 2: But she did at least handle it with a little humor, 222 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 2: kind of a wink and a nod. And she put 223 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 2: a family photo of them all together, the two of 224 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 2: them with their kids. So I don't know if that's 225 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 2: a recent photo, if they've been reunited. But yeah, it's tough, 226 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 2: not It's tough to ask people to not weigh in 227 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,719 Speaker 2: when you've literally asked people in a way to weigh 228 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 2: in by putting something like that out on social media. 229 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 1: Okay for your here you go. This is what she 230 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: tells us. I chose myself and betterment, knowing that my 231 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 1: stay at home mom job and my kids end of 232 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: the school year needs were in the best most capable hands. 233 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 1: She but she sounds like she did step away and 234 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 1: need to step away to where it was understood that 235 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: he was gonna have to be responsible for everything while 236 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: she's out of pocket. Now this given look, we all 237 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: have a lot of folks have gone through something. Now, 238 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: we've been through something relationship wise. Who listen to this 239 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: and you're not you're not speculating your heart's hurting, Like 240 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: you recognize some things in here, like Wow, those people 241 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,559 Speaker 1: are going through something. Clearly they choose to put it 242 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 1: out publicly. That's on them. But in reading it and 243 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 1: diving into it more than the headlines, your heart kind 244 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 1: of works like, Wow, I'm sorry for what you're going through, 245 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: but I'm sorry you feel like you have to do 246 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 1: this now in this public way. 247 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of times people 248 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 2: are looking for support, even you know, so it doesn't 249 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 2: matter who you are. You're you know, whether you're you 250 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 2: know Ryan Sutter or you're you know the guy next door. 251 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,959 Speaker 2: But sometimes people just want to know they're not alone, 252 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 2: or they want other people to know, Hey, I'm going 253 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 2: through it, and in a way, they're looking for support 254 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 2: from the public. And I think maybe that could have 255 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 2: been what was going on as well, Like you're people 256 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 2: want to feel like especially if he was feeling scared 257 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 2: and lonely and like he wanted to know other people 258 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 2: kind of had his back. Maybe I'm worried about him 259 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,439 Speaker 2: and them, and that felt good. I mean, I get that. 260 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 2: You know, there is a collective hug. Obviously there can 261 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 2: be some really negative, nasty, awful things going on with 262 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 2: social media, but there can also be this feeling of 263 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 2: like I'm not alone, and so maybe that's what he 264 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 2: was trying to. 265 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 1: Do, she continues. We look at Instagram like a digital diary. 266 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: Most of the time, the world doesn't pay too much attention. 267 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 1: This time, he her husband couldn't say anything right. Just 268 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:53,199 Speaker 1: about every news outlet picked up on his quote. Cryptic, confusing, 269 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:58,959 Speaker 1: attention sinking, dramatic pictures and captions. Wow, to me, they 270 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: gave me exactly what my words of affirmation love language 271 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 1: needed to get me through some serious self doubt and fear. 272 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 1: And that's all that matters. Wow. She is defending what 273 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: he did and saying what he did was exactly what 274 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,320 Speaker 1: she needed. We're seeing this all play out. You and 275 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: I love watching how couples communicate, but this is interesting. 276 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 1: It's really fascinating to see it. 277 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 2: You know what she is, So that is fascinating because 278 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 2: you know what it was. I heard what he wrote. 279 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 2: He was saying, I love you, I miss you, we 280 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 2: need you. You're of value to us. We want you back, 281 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 2: And that might have been what she needed to hear, 282 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 2: because maybe she felt like she and I are the 283 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 2: same age. You know, you're doing everything for your kids, 284 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 2: You're racing around. She's she's spent her whole life being 285 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 2: their mom and his wife right as her full time job, 286 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,359 Speaker 2: and so maybe she just felt unappreciated and felt overwhelmed 287 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 2: and thought, what have I done with my life? And 288 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,040 Speaker 2: maybe what he wrote is exactly what she needed to hear, 289 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 2: and he did it in a public way so everyone 290 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:05,439 Speaker 2: could see how much he valued and they valued her 291 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 2: as a woman, as a wife as Oh that's. 292 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: Fascinating, Like how much value in a public relationship or 293 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: even a private relationship I say private, and that it's 294 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,319 Speaker 1: not one that's out there the celebrity couple for lack 295 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: of a better phrase, like how much is that needed 296 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: from day to day from any couple? Because social media 297 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: now is where if you are not talking about your 298 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: significant other, your significant what you're not proud of me? 299 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, birthdays now and adversaries, you got to like 300 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 2: write a like a love letter, like a birthday cards 301 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 2: to the whole world to see because it's not good 302 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 2: enough if I just. 303 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 3: Give you one privately. We got to put it up 304 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 3: there for everyone to see. 305 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: Okay, it's true. 306 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 3: I do that for my girls on birthdays. They want, 307 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 3: they want, they and I get that. 308 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 2: It's absolutely like, then you feel good and everyone who 309 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 2: says happy birthday to you and says he's captions and 310 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 2: pictures of the year that you spent with them with 311 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 2: different moments. Then you then take that, put it on 312 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 2: your store and say, see how many. 313 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 3: People's a happy birthday to me? 314 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 2: Like it's where we are in this world? We're all 315 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 2: you know, there are all versions of it. 316 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 1: Well, you say, is where we are? Is it where 317 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: we need to just accept where we are? Or do 318 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: we need to do something about it? Because it's either 319 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: going to continue to go the direction it's going, or 320 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: we're going to slow it down or maybe back it up. 321 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: Because that sounds to your point. Words of affirmation are 322 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: supposed to be the words I give you, not the 323 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: words other people hear me give you. 324 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, I totally agree with you and what 325 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 2: you're saying. I will say this, if you're saying something 326 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 2: positive about someone in a public way, that's amazing, Like 327 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 2: there's nothing bad about that now, needing it, requiring it, 328 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 2: getting pissed if it doesn't happen. 329 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 3: That's a whole other issue. 330 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 2: But it's I don't think anyone's going to be upset 331 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 2: if the person they love tells the world how much 332 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 2: they love them on social media. Now, other people might 333 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 2: be annoyed by that might be nausegating to other people, 334 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 2: wait to the. 335 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: Public or to the person, Like some people might like, 336 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: stop talking about me on social media. I don't like that. 337 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 2: There's that, But I think I think it's for me, 338 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 2: like I can only speak for myself. I think it's 339 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 2: if it feels untrue, manipulative, Like what you do in 340 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 2: private is very different, and then in public, oh, you're 341 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 2: grandstanding and show voting and saying how much you love 342 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 2: like love bombing me in front of everyone, and then 343 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 2: when you know in quiet other moments, it's not the 344 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 2: same that I do not like. 345 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: Bombs. In fact, it's just an explosion of love. 346 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 2: Love bombing someone you you tell them how much you 347 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 2: love them, and needed are you actually trying to get 348 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,239 Speaker 2: something from them? That? Like, the love bombing is manipulative? 349 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 2: I think, Andy, have you heard of love bombings? 350 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 5: It is a phrase. Yeah, it's not a good one. 351 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: It's not. 352 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 3: It's manipulative. 353 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: What is love? 354 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 5: You? 355 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 3: You? 356 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 2: You? 357 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 3: You overwhelm a. 358 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: Show of love for an audience. 359 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 5: Showering of affection. So this way, everybody is kind of 360 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,760 Speaker 5: just like oh wow, he like really like you're doing. 361 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 2: Too much, and you're doing it because you want people 362 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: to say you're a good guy, like see how much 363 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 2: I love my wife, See how much I'm a good Hugh. 364 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 2: It's been like it's so it ends up being narcissistic. 365 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 2: But it's hard to necessarily see in the moment because 366 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,520 Speaker 2: you're feeling the love bomb. Yes, but if you can 367 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 2: see past and through the love bomb, it's actually not 368 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 2: a good thing. 369 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 1: So in the moment you fall with the love bomb, Well, some. 370 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 3: People do not everyone. 371 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I am I giving you a love bomb? 372 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 2: You have not and I don't need you to really No, 373 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 2: it's all the little small things that no one sees 374 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 2: that from me are important. 375 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: Look, we're in a room that our faces are on 376 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 1: the screens, and it says Amy and TJ. That's a 377 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: pretty big love bomb. How much a declaration do I need? 378 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: I signed a contract with you? You signed on the top. 379 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,719 Speaker 3: Have I ever loved bombed you. 380 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 1: No, not a love missile, not a firecracker. 381 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 3: It was Sparkler, have a love Sparkler. 382 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:58,120 Speaker 1: Okay, Sparkler's God you do. You got just the givet 383 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 1: the keyszone given. I love it. But I'm going to 384 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,959 Speaker 1: finish with Tristo because she finished her post with this 385 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: line quote, After all, nervous breakdowns and separations require much 386 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 1: needed rest and relaxation. Like that's almost she's messing with us. 387 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 3: Yes, I appreciate that. 388 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 2: I think if you can turn anything into a little 389 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 2: bit of humor, I'm on board. I think that's how 390 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 2: we get through most of life's crap is laughing, and 391 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,640 Speaker 2: if you can laugh about it, she's ahead of the game. 392 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: But this was something that Andy now, our producer, sent us. 393 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 1: He came up with a list of questions. I mean, 394 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 1: he sits in here off in time, he listens to look. 395 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 1: If y'all don't know, Andy, hears all the podcasts, but 396 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,679 Speaker 1: he hears a lot of stuff that happens before and 397 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 1: after with being robot. He sees us as a couple 398 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: and as colleagues day in day out. So he actually 399 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 1: thought of he was curious about what it's like to, 400 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: I guess, try to be a couple, try to maintain 401 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 1: a relationship in the public eyes in private. But and 402 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: you go ahead. You had some things that were kind 403 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 1: of thought provoking. We don't have the answers to them yet, 404 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: but we waiting for you to put us on the 405 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: spot with it. 406 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 5: Yeah. So one of them that I had was what 407 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 5: is it about relationships in the public eye that make 408 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 5: it difficult? Like? What do people not understand? 409 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 2: I think the hard part is knowing that everyone's commenting 410 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 2: on what you do, what you say, how you look 411 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 2: at each other. I think just knowing that you're being 412 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 2: scrutinized every time you go out or anytime you post 413 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 2: anything is tough to always try to make sure that 414 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 2: I mean, I just I want to be living our 415 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,960 Speaker 2: truth and be able to be free to be us 416 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 2: without worrying what other people are thinking about us being us. 417 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,359 Speaker 2: So it's just it's a little tricky to get that 418 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,719 Speaker 2: out of your head and to just really live and 419 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:57,360 Speaker 2: not live wondering what people are saying, thinking writing all 420 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 2: of that. I don't know. 421 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: I don't think of pulling people to understand. I think 422 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 1: it is just that every single thing you go through 423 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: in your relationship. We go through in ours, that's getting 424 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 1: up in the morning, which you're gotta eat, who makes 425 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,639 Speaker 1: who does laundry, who's taking the kids, who's every single 426 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: thing we are dealing with, like everybody else. Is just 427 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 1: the added part of that sometimes that it feels awful 428 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:33,879 Speaker 1: to try to fake a relationship in both ways. You 429 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 1: know what I mean by that. I have tried to 430 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,400 Speaker 1: put on to make sure the public had the impression 431 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,160 Speaker 1: that things were going good in my relationship. But now 432 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: things are going great in my relationship, and I'm now 433 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 1: making sure I don't let the public know that because 434 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: it seems like in our relationship folks are rooting for you, 435 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 1: are they're rooting against you, or they have some problem. 436 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: We talked about shame here, like we were for so long, 437 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,880 Speaker 1: like made to feel shame for our relationship. So it's 438 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: weird to be in a wonderful place and not want 439 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,880 Speaker 1: people to know it because you're worried about what they're 440 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 1: going to say about you actually being happy. And that 441 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,640 Speaker 1: seems stupid as hell. 442 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 4: But yeah, and. 443 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 5: So off of that, how much weight do you guys 444 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 5: place on social media in your relationship and is it 445 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 5: important to actually post the ones you love. 446 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 4: HM. So I've struggled with this because obviously we've got 447 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 4: this podcast and our relationship is on display professionally, and 448 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 4: then obviously we've got our personal moments, and so I 449 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,200 Speaker 4: have not I haven't figured it out. 450 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:49,239 Speaker 2: Like I don't want to post too much about what 451 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,399 Speaker 2: we do privately, but sometimes I do want to share it. 452 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 2: So I'm I'm I'm, I haven't figured it out yet, 453 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 2: because I also don't want to be annoying, like look 454 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 2: at us smiling, look at us hugging, look at us kissing. 455 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 2: I mean, I think most people get annoyed. It's funny people. 456 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,200 Speaker 2: You know, it's called unfollow, Like you can unfollow anyone 457 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 2: who gets annoying. But I see other people who are annoying, 458 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't want to be like that. 459 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 2: So it's I don't know what the right answer is. 460 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 4: You don't really do any of that. 461 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,679 Speaker 1: Well, I'm looking for the right answer, but it's that 462 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 1: was a month that I have not posted anything with 463 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 1: you on Instagram for a month. That's and I'm with 464 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 1: you all day every day, haven't posted a single thing, 465 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,879 Speaker 1: and the last you know, I haven't. I'm trying to 466 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,640 Speaker 1: find The last thing I posted that was just personal. 467 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: I'm looking at hey. If I'm looking you see you hear. 468 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 3: This style here A D gives it sounds like me 469 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 3: on my phone. 470 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: It was in January. 471 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 4: Wow. 472 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 1: Like everything else had to do with the podcast. We're 473 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: doing something or going to an event, but I haven't 474 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: just posted about the two of us. And again, a 475 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,320 Speaker 1: lot of that does, unfortunately have to do with you 476 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 1: don't want to You worry about the support you get 477 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,959 Speaker 1: when you start dating somebody. You worried about your mother, 478 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 1: I'm going to support it, your sister, your kids, or 479 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,880 Speaker 1: something else. We had to deal with all of that, 480 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:11,679 Speaker 1: and now we sit here completely free of any of that, 481 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 1: but concern about being accepted outside of our family. We're 482 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: worried about being accepted by the public and followers and 483 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,399 Speaker 1: all these kinds. I hate, hate, hate. I've admitted it, 484 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,440 Speaker 1: but I hate admitting it. It sucks. But I'm sitting 485 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,240 Speaker 1: here with this woman I love. I sit next to 486 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 1: her every day. I declare it several times a day, 487 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: and anytime we do a podcast, I'm usually declaring it publicly. 488 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 1: So it's not really much of a confusion about where 489 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 1: I stand with you. 490 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 3: What are you trying to hide the private. 491 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:44,439 Speaker 1: It's silly. 492 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 2: Well, you don't want to look like you're trying to 493 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 2: prove something right or like you're doing something just for show. 494 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 2: But if you just try to keep it authentic, I 495 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,640 Speaker 2: guess let people decide what they want to think, because 496 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 2: they're going to anyway regardless had. 497 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 1: You buttoned it up at that at the end, because 498 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,880 Speaker 1: last time we let people think what they wanted to think, 499 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: things ain't go so well. 500 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,679 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, just off. 501 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,400 Speaker 5: The heels of that. Are you going to follow her 502 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,160 Speaker 5: on Instagram? Because I know you only have the one 503 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 5: follower rule? 504 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,399 Speaker 1: What Andy, we were doing so well? Why you have 505 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 1: to bring up? 506 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 2: Oh shit, I rolled my eyes at you in a 507 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 2: long time, but I just rolled my eyes at you. 508 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. 509 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,920 Speaker 1: I know, I know. I haven't haven't given any more thought, 510 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 1: which means no, I haven't give any more thoughts. 511 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 5: The next question I have is when it comes to 512 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 5: reading about yourself and the press, what can that do 513 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 5: to her relationship? And can it cause distrust? 514 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: Hmm, you know, I will, I'll let you take the rest. 515 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,320 Speaker 1: I'll only mention this because it just happened the other 516 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 1: day that you I don't even know what we were. 517 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 1: I think we were getting ready for a podcast, but 518 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,439 Speaker 1: I was asking something about articles, something in the past 519 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 1: that it I needed something some some silly headlines from 520 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,800 Speaker 1: the past that were ridiculous, and you were looking them 521 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: up and you sent me a screen grab of an article. 522 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: And my response to Robot was, sweetheart, please don't send 523 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 1: me any images of the articles. I do not read 524 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 1: and look at anything press wise. When it comes to 525 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,639 Speaker 1: me and us, not a single thing. To the point 526 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,920 Speaker 1: that she's just given me a screen grap with a headline, 527 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 1: I say, hey, baby, remember and I'm just that's how 528 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 1: I am. So when it comes to your question, is 529 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:29,679 Speaker 1: that's where I am? 530 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, it is triggering, I think because I could have 531 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 2: put the headline in there and you would have been okay, 532 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 2: because you just asked for some ridiculous headlines. 533 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 4: But to see it, to see. 534 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 2: Our pictures, it just it starts you actually feel I 535 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 2: go right back to feeling my chest tightens. You're worried 536 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 2: about what they're saying. You start getting in your head 537 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:55,119 Speaker 2: about what the reaction is, and then you start overthinking things. 538 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 2: So I agree, and I always say like, okay, I 539 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,920 Speaker 2: can look and I can I'll be okay, but then 540 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:03,200 Speaker 2: I realize if I'm being honest, you know, thirty minutes later, 541 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 2: an hour later, I feel a heaviness. I feel the 542 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 2: weight of it. I feel I don't like knowing that 543 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:13,400 Speaker 2: people think one way about me or one way about him, 544 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 2: and it's divisive. I mean, it's not all like that, 545 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 2: but yes, when I do read those things, it does 546 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 2: affect me. I've tried really hard not to. I've a 547 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 2: couple of times have fallen off the wagon, so to speak, 548 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 2: and I've read some of the comments and I've always 549 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,120 Speaker 2: regretted it, like I regret it every time. It's not helpful, 550 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 2: and I'm giving away not just my power but our 551 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 2: power because we know who we are, and we know 552 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,520 Speaker 2: what we've done to build where we are in our 553 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:43,679 Speaker 2: lives together, and nothing that anyone can say should change that. 554 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 2: So it's it's but it does affect. It does affect 555 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:48,920 Speaker 2: us and me. 556 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna post about you today. 557 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 4: Are you You're gonna love momy? 558 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 1: You just ruined it. I have something in mind. I 559 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,639 Speaker 1: use okay, I gotta read think. 560 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 5: My last question was when it comes to your privacy 561 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 5: in the public eye, what boundaries are necessary? To set 562 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 5: with your partner beforehand. 563 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 2: We have always I don't neither one of us have 564 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:18,680 Speaker 2: ever posted a picture without the other person giving approval. 565 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,919 Speaker 4: Just for that reason. 566 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 2: I think that's a very important boundary to not just 567 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 2: you know, think that I can put whatever I want 568 00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 2: up about you or about us and not have it 569 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,920 Speaker 2: affect us. So I think we just need to always 570 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 2: be on the same page with that, and privacy wise, 571 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 2: I think the same goes with having conversations just with anybody. 572 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 2: Forget social media, forget to not I don't talk about 573 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 2: if we have a disagreement, I don't go call someone. 574 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,960 Speaker 2: I don't go call my mom. I don't we don't. 575 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,199 Speaker 2: We work it out together. And I think that's an 576 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 2: important boundary, whether you're a public couple or a private couple. 577 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 2: I think you know. 578 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,639 Speaker 3: That matters, that that trust matters. 579 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,959 Speaker 1: I think that's what I was thinking of a situation. 580 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 1: I think it had to do with Nikki were talking 581 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,399 Speaker 1: about keeping a relationship private. Anytime I have heard that 582 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,400 Speaker 1: there was something someone outside of the two of us 583 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 1: was aware of before I was, that is that's the 584 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 1: only boundary. Social media wise, we just don't have that issue. 585 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,360 Speaker 1: But as far as boundaries. Think we're on the same 586 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 1: page there we have gotten into. I hate to give 587 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: this away because some member of the Papa riets is 588 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 1: going to figure it out, but we've said this that 589 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: comes to privacy we have with the weather's nice. Now 590 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 1: we've gone out and we start to go to certain 591 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 1: restaurants and sit outside and enjoy the weather. We sit 592 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: now in places we never would have said a year ago. No, 593 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: like on full display, like anybody, and we constantly people 594 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: are constantly stopping. 595 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:47,959 Speaker 4: Uh. 596 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: They still want to say hello, they want to take 597 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 1: pictures and all kinds of stuff. But we absolutely now 598 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 1: when it comes to privacy, at least being out that's 599 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: not revealing something mean about what's going on at home, 600 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 1: but at least as far as being seen, being spotted, 601 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,760 Speaker 1: being together with whatever we're doing, we're better about that 602 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: than we have ever been. 603 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 2: Oh it's just nice, I think to not have been 604 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 2: able to do that, or to not feel free to 605 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 2: do that for definitely for a full year. I am 606 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 2: so much more appreciative of just being able to sit 607 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 2: out in the sun and you know, be out in 608 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 2: public in an open space like that was no way 609 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 2: could we have done that, right, So It's just funny 610 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 2: how you get that perspective of how appreciative we are 611 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 2: to just have that moment and people have been kind 612 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 2: and anyone who does come up, maybe they ask for 613 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 2: a picture, but they've been really cool. We you know 614 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 2: what we don't like, I think this is anybody could 615 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,120 Speaker 2: this this is, but but this is actually I think 616 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 2: about how I was maybe if I spotted somebody who 617 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 2: I liked or a celebrity, Like we appreciate anyone who 618 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,040 Speaker 2: wants to come up and say, hey, we love you guys, 619 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 2: or we listen to your podcast, or we're rooting for you. 620 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 2: And if they say, would you mind if I got 621 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 2: a picture, we'll always say yes. We didn't before a 622 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 2: year ago we were not did not feel comfortable saying that, 623 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 2: but now we'll always say yes, like always. What we 624 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 2: don't like is when people surreptitiously is that how you 625 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 2: say it, take a picture and think we can't see 626 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 2: them doing it, Like I don't like feeling like I'm 627 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 2: in an aquarium or I'm on display to the point 628 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 2: where you're going to just take a picture of me, 629 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 2: like without me knowing, and because we can almost always 630 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 2: see it, by the way, and just we'd almost well, no, 631 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 2: not almost. We'd always rather someone come up and say 632 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,000 Speaker 2: hi and take the picture with us, with our consent. 633 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: Yes, that's what. 634 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 2: No. 635 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 1: We have absolutely left places. We have walked out of restaurants, 636 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 1: we have changed train cars, we have done a lot 637 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:45,560 Speaker 1: of things to get away from folks who were behaving 638 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,959 Speaker 1: in that way. And look, we don't know if they 639 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 1: got ill intent or not, but we have had people 640 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 1: who've done that before and they did have all intent. 641 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 1: And it calls serious problems in our relationships, in our 642 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 1: and a lot of stuff I thought we've learned. 643 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 2: I think people think that they're being that they're respecting 644 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 2: our privacy by not coming up to us. I actually 645 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,360 Speaker 2: think they might think I don't want to bother them, 646 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 2: but I want a picture. I would every time rather 647 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 2: you come ask for the picture every time. 648 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:16,640 Speaker 1: All Right, you heard it here, folks, Sydney Andy. I'm 649 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 1: a report back next week. She got into a fight 650 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 1: on the train because somebody asked for a picture. 651 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 2: You said, ask, yes, No, it's always more polite to ask, 652 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 2: And I think it's it's not an invasion of privacy 653 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 2: if you're saying something kind, but to do it without 654 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 2: us realizing it or to do it when you think 655 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,160 Speaker 2: we're not looking. That actually is something that we don't prefer. 656 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: We will leave you though on this one with that 657 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 1: ridiculous movie recommendation. Oh, yes, she's very you could tell 658 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,120 Speaker 1: she's very excited. Go ahead, give it to him. 659 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. 660 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,920 Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so first I'll give you the name of 661 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 2: the name of the movie. 662 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 3: It's called There's Something in the Barn. Yes, wonderful name. 663 00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,840 Speaker 3: I mean, you're cure you already Something in the Barn. 664 00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:06,240 Speaker 2: Now, imagine an American family moving to Norway because he's 665 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 2: inherited a home that his uncle gave him. Okay, so 666 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 2: that's where it begins. But what's in the barn is 667 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,320 Speaker 2: what makes it so great because you might be thinking 668 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,280 Speaker 2: it's some you know, haunted barn. 669 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,080 Speaker 4: Well not exactly. 670 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 2: Should we tell them horror comedy, right, Oh, it's absolutely 671 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,800 Speaker 2: horror comedy. And you just have to like it's funny, okay, 672 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 2: and you just have to be willing to laugh at this. 673 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 2: But I will argue the writing is spectacular. They're making 674 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,560 Speaker 2: fun of Americans and Norwegians all in one time. And 675 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 2: then the folklore that is a huge part of Norway. 676 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 2: But I just thought it was brilliantly done, a lot 677 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 2: of like physical comedy that's supposed to be horror, but 678 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,520 Speaker 2: it's also common. I mean, I just cannot say enough 679 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 2: good things about this movie. I want to watch it again. 680 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 2: We actually context we watched it two thirty in the morning. 681 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: I don't know, not just because we were up, but 682 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 1: we've been up, but we had passed out and we 683 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 1: woke up yep, at two in the morning. It's like, 684 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 1: let's put a movie on. And we found that one 685 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,960 Speaker 1: and it delivered at two thirty. We stayed up tillfore 686 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 1: watching this movie. 687 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:15,960 Speaker 2: Well what happened is I think I had to get 688 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 2: up at four am with you. So by the time 689 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 2: eight thirty rolled around, I was asleep. And then I 690 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,480 Speaker 2: woke up at two thirty fully refreshed, and. 691 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,560 Speaker 3: So I was like, let's watch a movie, sweetheart. 692 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: Why did you turned negative all of a sudden? Why 693 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 1: you have to put all of our business out there? 694 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 1: And then we talk about keeping some things private. 695 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 2: Well, everyone knows you're a very early riser, and sometimes 696 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 2: you're even earlier than others. 697 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 3: And then Sweetheart, we had a good, nice ending to 698 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 3: this show. 699 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 1: Here's a movie recommendation. It's funny, you'll have a good time. 700 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,239 Speaker 1: Oh yeah. By the way, and with this apisold, it 701 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 1: likes to wake up it foe and so I'm might 702 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: as well. Geez okay, folks follow us at Amy and 703 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,720 Speaker 1: TJ Podcast. We got to go work something out privately. 704 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:56,320 Speaker 1: See ye. 705 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 3: Ampation, thet Thetations, the