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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storyteme podcast.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 3: story that I think you'll love.

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Speaker 2: Sincerely Sam. But before that, thine divine two minute outbreak

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Speaker 2: must happen. I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 3: My deceased boyfriend's family wants to take his dog from me.

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Speaker 3: I want to fight for it. Custody battle. Custody Battles

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Speaker 3: is the plot of Legally Blonde, except the boyfriend is alive.

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Speaker 3: There I'm taking the dog. Sorry, this is longer than

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Speaker 3: I wanted, but I'm still processing things as this happened

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Speaker 3: last night. They get you up to speed. My boyfriend

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Speaker 3: was unlived in a car accident last month. Oh, this

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Speaker 3: post is not about that. I'm going to grief counseling

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Speaker 3: and coping as well as I think I can at

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Speaker 3: the moment. We were together for three years. We started

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Speaker 3: living together a little over a year ago. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from WTF puppy Mate, and if you want

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Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to our slash Ooky

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Speaker 3: story Time. Separate it so prior to meaning boyfriend, he

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Speaker 3: got a ridiculously cute puppy. At the time, he was

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Speaker 3: still living at home as his parents lived close to

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Speaker 3: our university. However, this puppy was his puppy. She slept

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Speaker 3: in his room. He took care of her and trained her. However,

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Speaker 3: his mom loves dog and doated on her like a grandmother.

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Speaker 3: Boyfriend and I met in a local park because he

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Speaker 3: had a puppy and I had an old, grouchy dog

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Speaker 3: of a similar breed. Dorms right. We quickly started spending

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Speaker 3: a good chunk of time with each other. I'd say

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Speaker 3: we spent a good sixty percent of the week together,

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Speaker 3: and by together I mean boyfriend, my grouchy dog, and

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Speaker 3: his young pupp dog spent a lot of time at

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Speaker 3: my place, and I help with training, general care, and

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Speaker 3: dog activities. After we moved in with each other, I

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Speaker 3: took on a lot more of the dog responsibilities. Boyfriend

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Speaker 3: ended up getting a job with a long commute and

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Speaker 3: a lot of overtime. I was okay with this, as

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Speaker 3: I ended up putting my old dog down a couple

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Speaker 3: months ago, and I enjoyed having a dog to take

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Speaker 3: care of again. I even started therapy dog training with

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Speaker 3: her because she has such an awesome temperament. All in all,

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Speaker 3: we were a happy, loving family, and dog and I

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Speaker 3: were friends. After his his family came over to help

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Speaker 3: sort through all of his things. His family took the

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Speaker 3: majority of his material things, car, computers, et cetera, which

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Speaker 3: I was okay with. I kept the sentimental things and

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Speaker 3: joint purchases. I thought that was that. During this whole time,

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Speaker 3: dog has been my constant companion. I feel like we've

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Speaker 3: been helping each other a lot through this time of

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Speaker 3: loneliness and sadness. Last night, as Mom popped by after

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Speaker 3: work for a surprise visit, I thought she was just

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Speaker 3: checking in with me or looking for support. After a

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Speaker 3: few minutes of chit chat, she simply said, well, now

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Speaker 3: that it seems like everything's settled, I've come to take

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Speaker 3: dog home.

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Speaker 2: Ugh No, not how that was ooh.

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Speaker 3: I was confused and asked her what she meant to

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Speaker 3: explain that dog belonged to boyfriend and it made sense

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Speaker 3: that dog be returned to his family. At this point,

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Speaker 3: I became visibly upset, and Mom backed off. She said,

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Speaker 3: I can say my goodbyes, but she will be by

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Speaker 3: this weekend to pick up dog. I am terrified, Guys,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to lose dog. She is a wonderful pet.

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Speaker 3: Wonderful because boyfriend spend so much time loving her, training her,

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Speaker 3: and spending time with her. I recognize his mom is

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Speaker 3: also in pain. I recognize that his mom always loved

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Speaker 3: this dog. I recognize his mom has also lived with

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Speaker 3: and spent a lot of time with this dog. I

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Speaker 3: understand why she wants the dog, but I don't want

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Speaker 3: her to have my dog. Legally, I realize I don't

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Speaker 3: have much of a leg to stand on. Boyfriend and

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Speaker 3: I weren't married, We've been living together for a year.

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Speaker 3: There was no will, and technically dog was boyfriend's property,

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Speaker 3: and property is transferred to the deceased families. Right If

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Speaker 3: his family chose to take this to court, they have

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Speaker 3: the resources.

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Speaker 2: To fight this.

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Speaker 3: I don't. Is there anything I can do? Appeal to

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Speaker 3: his mom's goodwill, lay on the emotions thick, and hope

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Speaker 3: she relents out a pity. I am open to any ideas.

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Speaker 3: Right now, Dog is my best friend. Now that my

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Speaker 3: boyfriend is gone, I don't know if I can handle

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Speaker 3: her being taken from me too. Right now, after note.

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Speaker 3: I just want to say his mom is not a

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Speaker 3: bad person. She has always been polite, sweet and caring.

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Speaker 3: His whole family is a bit rigid and can be stubborn,

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Speaker 3: but overall, I don't think they are malicious. I recognize

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Speaker 3: why she wants the dog. It's the same reasons why

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Speaker 3: I want the dog, which I guess makes this even

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Speaker 3: more difficult at it. I just want to make it

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Speaker 3: clear I am not planning on legally fighting for this dog.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate the legal advice, but it seemed too cruel

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Speaker 3: to fight grieving parents over something my boyfriend loved and

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Speaker 3: cared for. I know boyfriend wouldn't want that to happen,

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Speaker 3: so I will do everything in my power to make

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Speaker 3: sure it doesn't end up that way, even if it

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Speaker 3: means giving up dog. And there is an update. But

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Speaker 3: oh ouch, oh wow, out out ouch. This is sad. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: what are your thoughts? That's just some thought that's hard

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Speaker 3: because I was I was thinking about it, like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I guess like if you're if you're sad about losing someone,

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Speaker 3: then like having this other thing that kind of represents

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Speaker 3: that that person, It's like it must be nice to

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Speaker 3: have that to take care of but again, like she said,

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Speaker 3: the mom also feels that way. It represents the same

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Speaker 3: thing for her. Yeah, exactly. M M. But I mean

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Speaker 3: maybe just a nice conversation about like saying, just talk

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Speaker 3: about your emotions would help in this situation. Well, I

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Speaker 3: think one way to do it is, yeah, have that conversation.

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Speaker 3: But you could also kind of like split custody, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you could say like, hey, we both love this dog. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we both spent a lot of time taking care of

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Speaker 3: this dog, right. You know, I think it would be

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Speaker 3: good for both of us if we kind of switched

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Speaker 3: off taking care of this dog. You know, sometimes comes

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Speaker 3: over my mind, spends time here, I you know, so

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Speaker 3: we still have the dog in our lives. Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: think that would be a good good option. I mean,

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Speaker 3: especially one of them goes on like a trip or

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Speaker 3: something exactly. That would be like the perfect person to

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Speaker 3: go to two dogs. Yeah, but we do with Chip, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: exactly comes and stays with us for a while. Update.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for all the kind words and condolences. It's

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Speaker 3: a bit overwhelming. This is very confusing time for me,

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Speaker 3: and it's reassuring to see that it isn't as black

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Speaker 3: and white as it seems sure. It would help if

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Speaker 3: there was an easy answer. But at least I now

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Speaker 3: know my confusion and internal conflict isn't too crazy. It's

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Speaker 3: obviously a complicated matter. I'm still not it's certain what

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Speaker 3: I'm going to do with Dog. There are many good

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Speaker 3: arguments for both sides, fight to keep dog versus give

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Speaker 3: dog to mom. Trust me, I am trying to read

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Speaker 3: through all of your replies diligently right now. I need

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Speaker 3: to figure out how to balance what is morally right,

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Speaker 3: what I can deal with, and what is the best

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Speaker 3: for Dog. But for tonight, I think Dog and I

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Speaker 3: will just watch a few bad movies and have a

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Speaker 3: bit of popcorn. And there is an update. Oh no,

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Speaker 3: the updates summarized. I no longer have dog. This is

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Speaker 3: the worst update. Don't summarize it like that. Oh old

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Speaker 3: my hand. At least she went to her new home

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Speaker 3: on Thursday, so it took me a couple of days

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Speaker 3: to process this next oh so awesome new change in

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Speaker 3: my life. I am trying to talk myself through it

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Speaker 3: and am trying to feel all noble and crap. I

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Speaker 3: figure in inflated martyr like egos better than being a

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Speaker 3: sad jaded, bitter witch face. Okay, I admit it, I

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Speaker 3: am feeling more bitter than noble right now. The details

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Speaker 3: for those interested. Las Friday, I ended up calling my

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Speaker 3: boyfriend's dad. We always got along pretty fabulously and he's

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Speaker 3: the only one holding the family together right now. He

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Speaker 3: gave me a good update on the family, and the

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Speaker 3: gist I got was Mom was in a pretty bad place.

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Speaker 3: We decided to hold a family meeting about dog. On Saturday, Mom, dad,

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Speaker 3: boyfriend's sister, and me got together and discussed what dog

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Speaker 3: meant to us. Naturally, Mom and I had some very

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Speaker 3: similar outlooks, though I emphasized how dog was a part

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Speaker 3: of my family, my adventure buddy, and now my best

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Speaker 3: friend now that boyfriend was gone. Mom said she never

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Speaker 3: realized I was that involved with dog and apologized for

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Speaker 3: surprising me. On Thursday, both Mom and I got pretty weepy,

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Speaker 3: and she excused herself to think things over, so I

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Speaker 3: and Dad talked for a bit more. I just went

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Speaker 3: over the basics of dogcare and border collies in general.

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Speaker 3: His family has always been cat people, so I wanted

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Speaker 3: to make sure that they knew what they were getting

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Speaker 3: themselves into, and also maybe scare them with the responsibility,

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Speaker 3: because I'm not a saint. I was also concerned about

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Speaker 3: the well being of dog and wanted to make sure

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Speaker 3: she can stay happy. I gave him a list of

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Speaker 3: all the activities I do with her to prevent her

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Speaker 3: from becoming bored and thus neurotic and destructive. It's actually

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Speaker 3: a pretty long list. I also gave him a list

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Speaker 3: of doggie daycares, training centers, agility centers, running pats, hiking places,

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Speaker 3: and that's in his area. I also gave him a

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Speaker 3: copy of her therapy dog certification progress and what the

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Speaker 3: steps are to complete that if they are interested. I

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Speaker 3: then left him a book on border collies and a

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Speaker 3: few website links so he can become familiar with the breed.

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Speaker 3: I mean, that's honestly, I mean beyond even if you

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Speaker 3: are trying to scare them a little bit, it's really

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Speaker 3: important that they know all this because border collies have

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Speaker 3: so much energy. Speaking as a person who has a

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Speaker 3: border collie, yeah, every time she comes and visits us

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Speaker 3: at our house, and we have so many people here

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Speaker 3: that can play fetch with her. If you start playing

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Speaker 3: fetch with her, you will never stop. You literally literally

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Speaker 3: never stop. She does not lose energy. I know. I

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Speaker 3: think like there was a while where I was playing

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Speaker 3: fetch with her and then like I left, and like

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Speaker 3: a few days later I came back and immediately she's like, hey,

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Speaker 3: ready to play. Yeah, but she just like stares at

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Speaker 3: you and she's like with her bright blue eye, So

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Speaker 3: you should know what you're getting to do. This is

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Speaker 3: the only thing that is giving me a bit of

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Speaker 3: solace right now. Dad laughed after I gave him the rundown.

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Speaker 3: He said, it made so much sense why Dog was

200
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Speaker 3: so mellow, and that was because Boyfriend and I ran

201
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Speaker 3: a ragged He loved seeing all the work that went

202
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Speaker 3: into Dog. Was asking a lot of questions and was

203
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Speaker 3: astonished boyfriend dedicated that much time and energy into his

204
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Speaker 3: free pal. It was actually very heartwarming seeing Dad pretty

205
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Speaker 3: much light up with pride. Boyfriend had a bad habit

206
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Speaker 3: of downplaying a lot of what he does, so Dad

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Speaker 3: was able to learn something new about his son. I

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Speaker 3: told him that I would be ecstatic if I could

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Speaker 3: keep Dog, as she is my world now, but I

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Speaker 3: understand if Dog had a bigger purpose right now next

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Speaker 3: to mom's side. Ookay, that was a big fat lie.

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Speaker 3: I don't understand because I'm selfish and believe the dog

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Speaker 3: belongs with me, but I'm trying to be effing noble here. Okay, Oh,

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Speaker 3: that is such a hard feeling of wanting to do

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Speaker 3: what you think is the right thing, but also in

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Speaker 3: your heart, you're like that, I have no desire to

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Speaker 3: do that at all. Yeah. Yeah, it's just the big

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Speaker 3: emotions and the grief. Yeah, mixing is the heart and

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Speaker 3: ahead like battling it out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But also I think that the fact that you like

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Speaker 3: you desire more than anything to keep this dog and

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Speaker 3: you were still offering to let her go, Yeah, it

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Speaker 3: is noble. I think having that like it would be

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Speaker 3: I mean if you were just like, yeah, of course

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Speaker 3: you can have the dog and you didn't have any

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Speaker 3: of those feelings, it'd be like, Okay, the sacrifice is

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Speaker 3: not there, but like this is a sacrifice for you, right, Like,

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Speaker 3: don't feel bad about having those feelings. Well, said Dad

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Speaker 3: thanked me and we hugged. He told me that he

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Speaker 3: and Mom will do some research for the next couple

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Speaker 3: of days and think it over. Dad called me up

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Speaker 3: on Tuesday. He told me Mom was insistent on having

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Speaker 3: dog no matter what. He didn't sound too happy and

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Speaker 3: was very apologetic. He told me that he didn't know

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Speaker 3: if this is the right decision, and he honestly felt

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Speaker 3: that dog belonged with me, but Mom wasn't moving on

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Speaker 3: the subject. He timidly asked what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 3: I pretty much started panicking at this point and was

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Speaker 3: hugging dog pretty hard to try to keep my crap together.

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Speaker 3: But I was able to calmly say, okay, I understand.

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Speaker 3: He hammered out a few details, and all I could

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Speaker 3: say was okay. Over and over. He kept asking if

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Speaker 3: I was going to be all right, and my only

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Speaker 3: response was I understand. After we hung up, I just

246
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Speaker 3: sat on my floor crying as dog crawled in my lap,

247
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Speaker 3: trying to figure out what was wrong. This is a

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Speaker 3: therapy dog, or at least therapy and training. This literally

249
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,679
Speaker 3: is making me to your up. This is so sad,

250
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Speaker 3: This is terrible. I can't imagine like having a dog

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Speaker 3: who's like so ingrained in your life and then having

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Speaker 3: to give them up. My panicking got worse, so I

253
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Speaker 3: took dog on a ten mile run to try to

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Speaker 3: calm both of us down. I took the rest of

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Speaker 3: the week off work, and on Wednesday, I took Dog

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Speaker 3: to boyfriend of mine's favorite camping place. We spent the

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Speaker 3: day hiking and exploring and sort of playing in the

258
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Speaker 3: it's the wrong time of year to play in a

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Speaker 3: lake lake, and the night snuggling under blankets and roasting marshmallows.

260
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Speaker 3: I might have slipped dog marshmallow or two. She freaking

261
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Speaker 3: loves marshmallows. On Thursday, I gathered up all of Dog's

262
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Speaker 3: things and created a list of how to care for her.

263
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Speaker 3: They dropped by in the evening. Dad seemed pretty concerned,

264
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Speaker 3: probably because I was very smiley robot. Mom was ecstatic

265
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Speaker 3: and was crying as she hugged and loved on Dog.

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Speaker 3: I tried to pretend everything was okay because I didn't

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Speaker 3: want to stress out Dog, and mainly because I honestly

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Speaker 3: felt really bad for Dad. He is a really good guy,

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Speaker 3: and I could tell he was very worried about me

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Speaker 3: and his wife. I feel really guilty that he was

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Speaker 3: dragged into the middle of all of this while also

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Speaker 3: having to deal with his own grief. Dad gave me

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Speaker 3: a hug, told me not to be a stranger, and

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Speaker 3: that I could visit any time. Mom hugged me and

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Speaker 3: thanked me and reassured me that they were going to

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Speaker 3: make dog happy, and then they left with dog. Ah

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Speaker 3: my gosh. Now, on Friday morning, I woke up and

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Speaker 3: sat in my empty bed for about an hour. The

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Speaker 3: emptiness started freaking me out, so I sort of threw

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Speaker 3: some clothes in a bag and left. Right now, I'm

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Speaker 3: poking at some burger and fast food joint in the

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Speaker 3: middle of nowhere, typing this out and trying to figure

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Speaker 3: out how my life came to this.

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Speaker 2: Edit.

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Speaker 3: I'm starting to look a bit weird sitting in this

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Speaker 3: fast food joint for the last three hours, so I'm

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Speaker 3: going to head back out on the road again. Thanks

288
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,640
Speaker 3: for all your nice words, encouragement and reassurance. Thank you

289
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 3: too for all the input and opinions. It's helping me

290
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Speaker 3: a lot right now, so thanks. Also. I just want

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Speaker 3: to say, isn't a bad person. She's always been sweet

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Speaker 3: and the passing of her son devastated her. Okay, sure,

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Speaker 3: I am sort of kind of angry at how the

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Speaker 3: situation evolved, but I can't dispute the fact that she

295
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Speaker 3: loves dog. She saw dog grow up, dotd on dog,

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Speaker 3: and it is her grand dog, so to speak. So

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Speaker 3: part of me knows where she's coming from. I guess

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Speaker 3: I just wanted to make sure people don't think she's

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Speaker 3: a horrible person. Edit. I don't know what the future

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Speaker 3: for me or dog holds, but I will stay in

301
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Speaker 3: contact with dad to make sure dog is happy. In

302
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Speaker 3: a few weeks, i'll see if I'm strong enough to

303
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Speaker 3: go visit her and boyfriend's family. I still don't know

304
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Speaker 3: if this was the right course of action, and I

305
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,200
Speaker 3: am still worried. I didn't think this through all the way.

306
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Speaker 3: There's still a lot of sadness, anger, guilt, and bitterness

307
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Speaker 3: that I'm dealing with. So it feels a bit weird

308
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Speaker 3: when people say I'm being kind, noble, and selfless. Part

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Speaker 3: of me knows I did a really nice thing for mom,

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Speaker 3: but the rest of me just thinks this whole thing

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Speaker 3: is bs. It's a really weird place to be. I

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Speaker 3: can't really explain it. So I appreciate the reassurance that

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Speaker 3: I probably most likely did do a good thing. Hopefully,

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Speaker 3: and there is an update, And I think you did

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00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,080
Speaker 3: do the right thing, And I mean, I'm sure you

316
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 3: could always visit right. You still have all their contact information.

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Speaker 3: They obviously know that this is hard for you too.

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Speaker 3: I think that you can still kind of come to

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Speaker 3: the dad and ask like, hey, is there any way

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Speaker 3: that I can You know, you can switch off a

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00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,280
Speaker 3: little bit. Yeah, it's that way. It's not like neither

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Speaker 3: of you lose the dog forever, right right, Yeah, because

323
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:28,440
Speaker 3: I think it probably feels just like another loss. Yeah,

324
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Speaker 3: like lost my my boyfriend of three years crazy and

325
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Speaker 3: then also losing this dog. Do you have a connection too,

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Speaker 3: It's just that's a lot in one so like one

327
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Speaker 3: month after too. Yeah, yeah, I think you should go.

328
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Speaker 3: I don't know if you can go to the mall

329
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Speaker 3: right now, but I think going to the dad and

330
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Speaker 3: bringing us up right right. I think I'm sure everyone

331
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 3: needs the dog to heal, so you can switch it

332
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 3: up pitch off. Update two for the first embarrassing confession,

333
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,440
Speaker 3: I became a little witch for while. In all defense,

334
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,560
Speaker 3: it was easy to do. I woke up with my

335
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,920
Speaker 3: alarm at five in the morning, stared at the ceiling

336
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,440
Speaker 3: for a bit and just thought, oh, I don't need

337
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,160
Speaker 3: to take dog for a run. I guess I don't

338
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,160
Speaker 3: have to get up. Then it was hmmm, I don't

339
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,680
Speaker 3: really need to go on my evening walk. Hike lake trip,

340
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 3: camping trip, as there really wasn't a point, no boyfriend,

341
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,760
Speaker 3: no dog. Besides, it's cold and I'm a little witch.

342
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,040
Speaker 3: So I sat in my apartment, going to work, eating takeout,

343
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,360
Speaker 3: watching crap rappie shows, and sleeping. I lost most of

344
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,160
Speaker 3: my motivation to do anything. I just wallowed in bed

345
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,200
Speaker 3: a lot, trying to sleep as much as I could,

346
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,840
Speaker 3: because sleeping was the only way I didn't feel so alone. Ah,

347
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:42,600
Speaker 3: to have like depression be so clear, yeah me, unless

348
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,160
Speaker 3: it's like maybe not for the person, but like oh

349
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,840
Speaker 3: oh to oh that's so sad. Yeah, that's that's really hard.

350
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Speaker 3: I mean she's grieving, yeah, very normal. And now she

351
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,600
Speaker 3: I mean like to have yes, very normal, but like

352
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,840
Speaker 3: when people have a pet, like something to take care

353
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Speaker 3: of it, Yeah, it can be a little bit easier.

354
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Speaker 3: Oh and now she's lost that too, and that's ah ah.

355
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,040
Speaker 3: Luckily I have one or two good friends who give

356
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,240
Speaker 3: a few craps. So I woke up one morning to

357
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,880
Speaker 3: a banging on my door. Friend walked in all businesslike

358
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,840
Speaker 3: and simply said, you're moving. I stood there in my

359
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,720
Speaker 3: sweatpants because I gained about fifteen pounds in one month.

360
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,680
Speaker 3: My hair and knots, all confused and bedraggled and honestly

361
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 3: pretty stinky. She told me one of our acquaintances needed

362
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 3: a new roommate for January, and she thought we would

363
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,360
Speaker 3: get along well. I protested and was terrified of losing

364
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 3: the one place that was home to me, boyfriend and dog.

365
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,520
Speaker 3: It took her almost a month to convince me to

366
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 3: leave my apartment. It was one of the worst moments

367
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Speaker 3: of my life when I began packing things up throwing

368
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 3: other things away, almost worse than when boyfriend passed or

369
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 3: when I lost dog. I can't really explain why I

370
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 3: felt so horrible and angry at this particular moment. I'm

371
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 3: sure a therapist could tell me. Oh yeah, I stopped

372
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,080
Speaker 3: going to grief counseling too, so I guess not. Long

373
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,400
Speaker 3: story short, Let's just say I wasn't very happy, but

374
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 3: I packed my things and moved them over to roommate's apartment.

375
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,080
Speaker 3: On New Year's Eve, I bought a bottle of wine,

376
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,560
Speaker 3: sat in our old strip bear apartment and all dramatically

377
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,600
Speaker 3: said good by to my old life or something. It

378
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 3: was a movie moment, really, Oh and I got copiously

379
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,240
Speaker 3: wasted and cried for hours. With snot running down my face.

380
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,439
Speaker 3: But mainly I think it was a touching scene. But

381
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 3: I think things are starting to look up. Roommate and

382
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:18,240
Speaker 3: I get along great. She owns a lab bisy dog,

383
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, and the big goofy guy loves cuddling,

384
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 3: and it is nice to come to a home that

385
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 3: isn't just filled with old T shirts and abandoned dog toys.

386
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,159
Speaker 3: I am still a sad panda, but at least I

387
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 3: graduated from little Witch. I take showers. Now. Now for

388
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,199
Speaker 3: the good news. There's good news, Thank goodness. I mean,

389
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 3: it seems like you went from like this really depressed

390
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 3: state of losing people that you loved to getting or

391
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,399
Speaker 3: having a great friend who encouraged you to move in

392
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 3: with someone who has a dog too. Yes, I mean

393
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 3: I think definitely getting out of the apartment and getting

394
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 3: surrounded by another person all the time. Yes, and another dog.

395
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,720
Speaker 3: I think that's a great good friend. Just all of that.

396
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,359
Speaker 3: I mean, living on your own is already hard, especially

397
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 3: when you're used to company, and just like having that

398
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:10,680
Speaker 3: like very sudden loss of company. You need people. Yeah,

399
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,879
Speaker 3: now for the good news. Last week I ended up

400
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 3: visiting dog. She was ecstatic and so excited she might

401
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 3: have peede herself a little bit. She looks healthy and happy,

402
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 3: and that is what really counts. But the best thing

403
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,080
Speaker 3: is what dog did for my boyfriend's father. Dad probably

404
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,400
Speaker 3: lost a good thirty pounds since I last saw him.

405
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 3: When they came to take dog away from me, he

406
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 3: was excited to tell me all the things he's been

407
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 3: doing with dog. He took a bicycling and then running

408
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 3: to try to keep dog well exercised. He and mom

409
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 3: take walks with her in the evening and began hiking

410
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 3: on weekends. Dad sheepishly. It mentioned that Mom lost some

411
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,160
Speaker 3: weight as well, and they're both aiming to be healthier

412
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,920
Speaker 3: this year. You could tell Dad just doted on dog.

413
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 3: He said that since she was a hurting dog, he's

414
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,959
Speaker 3: been taking her to local farms that trained sheep dogs.

415
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 3: But then it turns out she was scared of cheap

416
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,320
Speaker 3: so that was that. That's funny. So now they are

417
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,920
Speaker 3: trying out agility because he read that border collies are

418
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,400
Speaker 3: good at agility. It's true. I realized he must read

419
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 3: all the resources I gave him on border collies, and

420
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,640
Speaker 3: he's trying his best to keep dog happy. He excitedly

421
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 3: showed me dog's therapy dog certification and talked about how

422
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 3: they go to a local hospital once a week now.

423
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,800
Speaker 3: It was honestly a weird moment for me. It was

424
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 3: great to see that dog was doing well and is happy.

425
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 3: I was also touched by Dad's devotion to dog, and

426
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 3: also how much he has changed since boyfriend's accident. He

427
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 3: is healthier, happier, and enthusiastic. Even though Mom was the

428
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,879
Speaker 3: one who wanted dog, I could tell that Dog was

429
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 3: really Dad's pup. Now Dog adore Dad back. I don't

430
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 3: know if it's because Dad and boyfriend were so similar

431
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,199
Speaker 3: in looks and personality, but Dog truly loved Dad, and

432
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 3: that made me well mad. I'm only human, really, I

433
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,400
Speaker 3: know Dog still loves me. She proved that with their

434
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,159
Speaker 3: overly enthusiastic greeting, but it was like another check on

435
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 3: the list of things that aren't mine anymore. I told

436
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 3: Dad that I am ecstatic that everyone is doing well

437
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 3: and how great dog looks. He beamed with pride, telling

438
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 3: me it was the least he could do for the dog.

439
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 3: His son left so much. We finished lunch, ugged, and

440
00:19:55,760 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 3: then I cried the entire way back ah, but you

441
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 3: know what won't make you cry? What is it listening

442
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 3: to full episodes of stories just like this? Well, if

443
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 3: their story is just like this, they make they may

444
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 3: make you cry. But go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

445
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 3: your favorite podcast app and search up. Okay, story time,

446
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: but there is a little bit left to the story.

447
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 3: My gosh, I still think you can ask to hang

448
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 3: out with dog worse. Yes, I mean it sounds like

449
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 3: in this particular thing, I think like she got to

450
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,919
Speaker 3: visit the dog. Yeah. Great, but you can do that

451
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 3: more than one Yeah, be like, hey, I want to

452
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 3: hang I want to take dog on a camping trip. Yeah. Yeah,

453
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 3: I mean, if it's hurting you this much, you don't

454
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 3: have to just let you know. Dog's still there. Still

455
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 3: do still alive? Yeah, dog is still alive. Yeah, like

456
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 3: ask you know. Yeah. So this is where I am now.

457
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 3: I'm starting a new life and still struggling to take

458
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 3: regularly scheduled showers. Dog is doing well with her new home,

459
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 3: and she really has brought new hope into dads and

460
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 3: Mom's lives. I think, no, I know that I made

461
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 3: a great decision for sending Dog to live with Mom

462
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 3: and dad. You guys were right. I am strong and

463
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 3: young enough, and it helps that I have wonderful friends

464
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 3: that I think I won't sleep or stink away to

465
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 3: passing away. And dog has gone off to do amazing

466
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 3: things and bring back happiness to parents who have lost

467
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 3: a son. Dog is truly an awesome animal, and I

468
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 3: will continue to miss her every day, but at least

469
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 3: I know she's happy, so I think everything is going

470
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 3: to be all right. And that is the end. Wow

471
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 3: of that story. Oh my goodness, ouch ouch, if this

472
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 3: dog knew the impact it had. Really like, this is

473
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 3: really an amazing Dog's an amazing dog doing so much

474
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,879
Speaker 3: for all of these people. Dogs are so great, so great,

475
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 3: like dogs are really really incredible creatures. I want to

476
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 3: exclude my fiance's uncle and his wife to my wedding

477
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 3: because they are problematic. Well, if you got a problem,

478
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 3: you gotta get them out, that's right.

479
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 1: Ye.

480
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 3: I twenty four female, have been with my fiance, twenty

481
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 3: seven male, for almost two and a half years. We

482
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 3: got engaged this past September on our anniversary vacation in

483
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 3: Key West, which was really special to us as we

484
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 3: both have never been there before and the trip was amazing.

485
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 2: By the way.

486
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 3: This comes from a squirrel squad zero one two zero

487
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, just

488
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 3: go to the our slash Okay storytime separad. It wet

489
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,479
Speaker 3: so to give some context, my fiance's uncle let's call

490
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,239
Speaker 3: him John, twenty seven mail and his wife let's call

491
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: her Amber thirty female have a very hard time trying

492
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 3: to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves and are

493
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 3: people who like to take all their anger and frustrations

494
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 3: to Facebook. This is what I worry about when it

495
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,920
Speaker 3: comes to telling them that we don't want them at

496
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 3: our wedding. Our reasoning for not wanting to invite them

497
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 3: has something to do with some of the things that

498
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 3: happened between John and Amber, John's parents, and a couple

499
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 3: of our friends. Basically, there was a whole chaotic montage

500
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 3: of John and Amber getting upset for getting punted out

501
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,880
Speaker 3: of the place they were staying at because they won

502
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 3: never paid the full rent, and two brought in another

503
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 3: cat without the owner knowing. I love cats and would

504
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 3: have taken the cat in if it wasn't for the

505
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,399
Speaker 3: cat being a literal menace to society. All they were

506
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 3: told was to either abide by the owner's rules or

507
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 3: they would need to leave. Instead of just following the rules,

508
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 3: they went on a full blown breakdown on how they

509
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 3: were getting punted out and tried to play victims in

510
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 3: the whole situation. This turned into John and Ambery going

511
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 3: after our friends and our friend's mom the owner of

512
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 3: the house, and belittling them, saying that because they live

513
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 3: in that house, everyone needs to abide by their rules

514
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 3: and they can do whatever they want. After going off

515
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 3: on them, John and Amber turned to John's parents, my

516
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 3: fiance's grandparents, and started going off on them about how

517
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 3: they would abandon their only son and not let them

518
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: live with his parents. His parents are old and they

519
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 3: are people who just want to live their lives with

520
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 3: peace and quiet. Either John nor Amber are quiet people.

521
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, all John's parents said

522
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 3: was you are a grown.

523
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,439
Speaker 4: Butt man, grown butt man, grown button man who should

524
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 4: know what would be the best decision instead of listening

525
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 4: to everything that that little witch of a girlfriend.

526
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:06,120
Speaker 3: Is telling you. Oh dang man, shots fired, spicy yeah.

527
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: All of his chaos has led to John and Amber

528
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,879
Speaker 3: burning all the bridges between my fiance's side of the

529
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 3: family and all of his friends. The only people who

530
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 3: were kept out of the situation were my fiance and I.

531
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 3: Fast forward to when we got engaged, Like not even

532
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 3: two hours after being engaged, Amber messaged me and asked

533
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 3: me when the wedding was going to be and where

534
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 3: A ha, not anywhere.

535
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 5: Well you'll be ooh, that's a great answer.

536
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,120
Speaker 3: I was dumbfounded, as I wasn't expecting to be engaged

537
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 3: and hadn't even really started looking at what we would

538
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 3: want to do. I simply just told her that we

539
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 3: weren't sure yet, as we want to spend some time

540
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 3: just being an engaged couple before we'd start figuring out

541
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 3: the wedding. Since I told her that, she started turning

542
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 3: the whole conversation to her talking about what she wants

543
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 3: to do for her wedding and how I should go

544
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 3: dress shopping with her so we could try on dresses together.

545
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 3: Would Amber also be trying on dresses or would it

546
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:57,439
Speaker 3: just be Opie?

547
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: You better not be.

548
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 3: I have a feeling not be. I have oh oh

549
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 3: oh oh, watch out, watch out?

550
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 2: Who who?

551
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 3: That's your face? And considering that I don't like this

552
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 3: girl and I am trying to lose some weight because

553
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,360
Speaker 3: of health related issues, I told her that I don't

554
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 3: want to waste a consultants' time trying on dresses when

555
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 3: I don't even want to get one right now. In

556
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 3: the middle of that conversation, she started talking badly about

557
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 3: John's parents, and I cut the conversation off by changing

558
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 3: the subject because if I let it continue, I probably

559
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 3: would have lost my crap. Do not disrespect Nana, that's right.

560
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,360
Speaker 3: Don't respect your freaking elders. This man, I respect them man.

561
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 3: As of right now, my fiance and I are trying

562
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 3: to figure out a way of letting John not he

563
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 3: and his wife will not be invited to the wedding.

564
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 3: As I know, Amber is someone who will try to

565
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 3: make some petty but stupid comment to John's parents and

566
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 3: ruin the whole day. So am I the a hole

567
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 3: for not wanting to invite my fiance's uncle and his wife?

568
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 3: Edits You may have noticed that my fiance and John

569
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 3: are the same age. That is because John is only

570
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 3: three days older than my fiance, So my fiance's mom

571
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 3: and John's mom but we're pregnant at the same time.

572
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 3: They grew up together and even lived together when my

573
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 3: fiance was going through some stuff with his dad. John

574
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 3: is the only child to his dad, but has two

575
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 3: half siblings, so he grew up entitled to everything. I

576
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 3: am also an only child, but I got raised to

577
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 3: understand that if you want something, you have to work

578
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,639
Speaker 3: for it. So basically John and my fiance were basically

579
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 3: brothers growing up. And after the whole situation happened, my

580
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,199
Speaker 3: fiance was so frustrated with John and how he and

581
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 3: his wife treated his mother on social media, to the

582
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: point where my fiance had to make the decision to

583
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 3: no longer make him a groomsman or a best man

584
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: in our wedding. Also, I know a lot of you

585
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 3: are saying just don't tell them or send them anything.

586
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,239
Speaker 3: Trust me. I told my fiance multiple times that we

587
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 3: don't have to tell them or send them anything, but

588
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 3: he insists on having a conversation with his uncle about this,

589
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 3: so I am going to leave him to that. If

590
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 3: I have an update, I will post it as soon

591
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 3: as I can. And there are some comments. Comment number

592
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 3: one says, not the a whole wait until actual festivities begin.

593
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 3: Don't send an engagement announcement, a say the date, or

594
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 3: an invitation. Let's those planning any festivities know that these

595
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 3: two aren't invited, and to not give any information to

596
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 3: them about any of your events engagement party, bridle shower,

597
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 3: bachelor parties, ceremony, reception, et cetera. When it eventually becomes

598
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 3: necessary to tell them, be honest the way you have

599
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 3: behaved with the friends and family that will be present

600
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 3: at our wedding events. We've decided to not extend an

601
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 3: invitation for the two of you. Let them throw their

602
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 3: fits and burn whatever bridges they want to burn. If

603
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 3: you're on the phone, you can't be civil. I'm going

604
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,120
Speaker 3: to have to hang up. Then hang up immediately when

605
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 3: they aren't civil, if they're in person, walk away and leave.

606
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 3: They're hurt feelings because of consequences of their own actions

607
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: are not your responsibility. That's a great way to say that. Yeah. Interesting,

608
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 3: it's like, oh they're crying bye. Yeah, it's like not

609
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,959
Speaker 3: my fault. Yeah, someone else credit no one man. Yeah.

610
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 3: Comment number two says, is it normal to tell them

611
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 3: that they're not invited? I would have just thought you'd

612
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 3: send out the invitations and not send them. We also,

613
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 3: you keep calling Amber his wife, but it sounds like

614
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 3: they're not even married. OPI responds, they got married last week,

615
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 3: but they have not had a wedding yet. Wait what

616
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,479
Speaker 3: they got married last week, so I guess just like

617
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 3: a low civil Yeah, yeah, okay, cool and there is

618
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 3: an update. But what would your answer me a whole

619
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 3: or not? It's for not inviting them? Yeah, no, not

620
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 3: a whole. You don't have to invite anyone to your wedding. Yeah.

621
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 3: Do you think that they should tell them or just

622
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 3: be a little sneaky. The only thing that I was

623
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 3: good because someone was like, do you even have to

624
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,719
Speaker 3: tell them? You don't have to tell them, it's I mean,

625
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 3: you just don't send them an invite. Really, But I

626
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 3: would say, because there they might keep asking you and

627
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 3: you could be like, hey, like if it gets to

628
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 3: a point where they keep annoying you, you could be like, hey,

629
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 3: we're not inviting you because of this, this and this. Yeah,

630
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 3: I feel like they should tell them. Yeah, I think

631
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 3: it would just blow up in another way. Like I

632
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 3: feel like if you're close friends with someone or just

633
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 3: friends with someone, then yeah, you don't have to tell

634
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 3: them that they're not invited. You just don't send them

635
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 3: an invite. Just by the way, got married is fun

636
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 3: little thing with people that are only close to us.

637
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 3: This person is basically a brother to the fiance. Yeah,

638
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 3: and they already know that they're engaged. They knew like

639
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 3: right away and were already interested in the wedding, So

640
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 3: you kind of need to tell them, I think. Also,

641
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 3: are you invited to their wedding? That's a good point,

642
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 3: I would I would guess that they would be if

643
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 3: everyone else has had beef with them. Yeah, but but

644
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 3: I don't you might be uninvited about their wedd Yeah. Maybe.

645
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 3: But there is an update, So sorry to be updating

646
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 3: so late. A lot has happened in the past couple

647
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 3: of weeks. I've decided to update you guys with our

648
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 3: decision and reasoning of this decision. So no, John and

649
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 3: Amber will not be invited to the wedding, but as

650
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 3: of right now, we have decided not to inform them.

651
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 3: Our reason for this is because about over a month ago,

652
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 3: we had received an invitation to John and Amber's baby shower,

653
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 3: not knowing that that was the reason that they got

654
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 3: married so quick, and it completely threw my fiance and

655
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 3: I into a whole spiral of confusion to why they

656
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: wouldn't tell us. Oh. Interesting, So they're playing the game

657
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 3: of like, well, you didn't tell us about that, sorely done.

658
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 3: So when we asked why they didn't tell sooner, John

659
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 3: responded with him not wanting either of us to accidentally

660
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 3: tell his parents, as he knew that they would not

661
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 3: accept Amber being the mother of their grandchild. What a

662
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 3: messy situation before you ask, yes, he told his parents,

663
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 3: and yes they're happy to have grandkids, but are disappointed

664
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 3: that it is with Amber. I ended up getting sick

665
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 3: with the flu, so we were not able to come.

666
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 3: I even informed Amber that I was sick, and she

667
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 3: had the audacity to ask if I would just wear

668
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: a mask and get up for a day with the flu.

669
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 3: With the flu, especially if it's like the stomach flu, yeah,

670
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 3: thank you. Why would you even? I don't understand when

671
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 3: people are like, just come sick, I'm like, no, stay

672
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 3: as far away from me. When you're saying I feel

673
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 3: like I wouldn't mind if someone just has like a

674
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 3: light cold, like maybe a cough or like a sore throat,

675
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 3: it's like whatever. But if you're like in bed with

676
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 3: the flu, yeah, rest yeah, yeah, I'm a little stricter

677
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 3: if you have a cop or a little cold, stay okay, No,

678
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 3: that's fair. That's fair. Yeah. And the thing is that

679
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 3: I feel like most people don't have Like I'm like, oh,

680
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 3: I can't go near you. I have a little cough,

681
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 3: and they're like, no, it's fun. I'm like, yeah, sorry,

682
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 3: I'm not going to have the same standards when you're sick, right, apologize,

683
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 3: just letting you know now. I told her no, as

684
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 3: I did not want to risk getting not only her sick,

685
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 3: but everyone else they're sick. Yeah. Also, literally, Amber's pregnant.

686
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to get a pregnant. Yeah, what a

687
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 3: pregnant She tried to pull the whole but it's my day, yeah,

688
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 3: and you should not be sick on your day, exactly

689
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 3: until I told her that I've been sick with the

690
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 3: flu for the past couple of days, and even though

691
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 3: I'm taking medicine, I cannot guarantee that I'll not be

692
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 3: contagious by the time of the shower. She finally understood

693
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 3: and told me to get better. And you know how

694
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 3: you could get better by watching and listening to full

695
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 3: episodes with stories just like these on Spotify, Apple Podcasts

696
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 3: or iHeartRadio. Just sear okay storytype damn it, there's a

697
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 3: little bit more. A couple of days ago, Amberg gave

698
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 3: birth to a baby boy, and he has help me

699
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 3: and truly loved That's nice. We came to the decision

700
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 3: this past weekend and decided that we will not tell

701
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 3: them about not being invited due to John not having

702
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 3: any more family members and friends to support him. Yes,

703
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 3: we know it is his fault, but he literally has

704
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 3: no one. So we said we will find a better

705
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 3: time to let them know. But as of right now,

706
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 3: we have not said anything and are keeping it quiet.

707
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 3: All right, and that's the end of our story.

708
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 2: There you John here og host. We're gonna get back

709
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 2: to these stories, but a quick free minute break from

710
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 2: hops from more sponsors. My fiance's brother confessed his love

711
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 2: to me while intoxicated.

712
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 3: Does it count then?

713
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 2: I feel like it double counts.

714
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: In a way, so truth even worse.

715
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 2: I've known both of them since college. I actually met

716
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: the brother, Lucas first. He was in the audience while

717
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 2: I was performing a spoken word piece. Our friends knew

718
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 2: each other, we met, et cetera, et cetera. Lucas eventually

719
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 2: introduced me to his older brother, Miles, and I was

720
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 2: instantly smitten As they say. And by the way, this

721
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 2: comes from user beanie Baby with a four and if

722
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

723
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subred it. So Miles and I

724
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: started dating very quickly after we met. He's always been

725
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 2: very assertive and confident, while Lucas is quiet and introverted.

726
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 2: Miles and I are now engaged. We're aiming for the

727
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: wedding for next year, hopefully in the summer, unless something

728
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 2: goes horribly wrong.

729
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 3: Which you've just freaking cursed it.

730
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 2: Did you just summon horrible things.

731
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 3: Saying something goes horribly wrong.

732
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 2: Lucas is going to be the best man. We are

733
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: very happy together. Last night, Lucas called me around one

734
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 2: o'clock in the morning. Right away, I knew something was

735
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 2: wrong because he never calls, especially not so late. He's

736
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 2: more of a texter. I didn't actually answer the call

737
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 2: because I was in the bathroom and I figured i'd

738
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 2: call him after I was done. He ended up leaving

739
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: a message saying this, word for word, Jess, my friend,

740
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 2: how are you? I missed you at the bar last week.

741
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: You were supposed to go at karaoke place. Remember you're

742
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 2: a terrible singer by way smart and clever by terrible singer. Anyway,

743
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 2: I'm really wasted right now, and I'm probably gonna regret

744
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 2: saying this in the morning if I even remember it.

745
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:30,919
Speaker 2: But I love you, Jess. It's so weird, right, You're

746
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 2: funny and beautiful and I just like I love you.

747
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 2: I love you so much. I'm so sorry You Miles

748
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: are a good couple. I'm happy my brother found such

749
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 2: an amazing person to spend his life with. And I

750
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 2: would say I wish I'd made.

751
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 5: You first, but I did, did I Anyway?

752
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,359
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm sorry you know to Please don't don't

753
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: tell Miles. I just wanted to say, it's that loud. Ah,

754
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: that's all. Okay, Bye, that was great, thank you, that

755
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,240
Speaker 2: was great.

756
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:17,959
Speaker 5: Give this man an Oscar, this man in Oscar. Oh

757
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 5: that was really good. Oh thank you? Oh my god.

758
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 5: I was like, wow, I'm transported.

759
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 2: I it's like love, Jess.

760
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's like day Kuda knows how

761
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: to be that.

762
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never done that.

763
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,240
Speaker 1: I've never seen a cut do that.

764
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:38,280
Speaker 2: I've never done that. Okay, So after receiving this voice message,

765
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 2: I was in shock. I then cried and then I

766
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 2: sat down and thought of everything that happened since I

767
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 2: performed my spoken word piece all those years ago. I

768
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: honestly had no idea Lucas has dated and been in

769
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 2: a few relationships since I've known him. He was only

770
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 2: ever amazing to those girls. He was kind, doting, respectful, loyal.

771
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 2: The list goes on. He did say how long that

772
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 2: he's felt this way. Maybe it's new. I don't know

773
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 2: either way, I don't know what to do. Should I

774
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 2: talk to him about it? Should I tell Miles? Should

775
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 2: I take this to the grave and pretend I don't know.

776
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 2: I'd want to know if my sister had called my

777
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 2: fiance and admitted to being in love with him, but

778
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,720
Speaker 2: I don't want to strain my fiance's relationship with his brother.

779
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,280
Speaker 2: On top of that, Lucas was wasted. He likely didn't

780
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 2: even remember that he left the message, and there is

781
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 2: an update. Oh okay, Fia.

782
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 3: Usually my immediate thought is like, oh, tell the you know,

783
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 3: tell your partner, like, you know, get that out of

784
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 3: the way, be honest, blah blah blah. I think it's

785
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,719
Speaker 3: slightly more complicated, and I'm kind of leaning towards talk

786
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 3: to Miles first. Yeah, Hey, I don't know if you remember,

787
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 3: but you left this message. I don't feel that way

788
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 3: about you, and I am going to have to tell

789
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 3: you know, my partner, your brother, but I just wanted

790
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 3: to let you know first that that's what I'm going

791
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 3: to be doing.

792
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:01,959
Speaker 2: All right, let's get into this update. So Miles came

793
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 2: home a couple of hours ago. I played him the message,

794
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: expecting some level of shock or anger, but he just went,

795
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 2: oh crap, is he okay?

796
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 3: All right?

797
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 2: That's a man who knows his brother. He's like.

798
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:19,800
Speaker 1: This everyone.

799
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 2: To my relief, Miles is honestly just concerned. He's not

800
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 2: angry at all. In fact, he said he had an

801
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 2: inkling that Lucas was at the very least attracted to me,

802
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,240
Speaker 2: but he had no idea it was love, which, honestly,

803
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 2: let's be real, I don't even does Lucas even know

804
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 2: if that's love or not?

805
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 3: I mean, can you really even be alone?

806
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 2: WHOA, Yes, we're gonna unpack that later.

807
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 1: Yes, even a real thing.

808
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 2: So Miles asked me how I feel about the situation,

809
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 2: and I told him my only concern is our relationship.

810
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 2: As much as I care about Lucas as a friend,

811
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 2: I'm not entirely sure what he wants from me, if

812
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 2: anything at all. I'm marrying his brother in less than

813
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 2: a year on the one and I feel bad for

814
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 2: him because unrequited love is a crappy thing and I've

815
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 2: been there. But on the other hand, I'm annoyed. I

816
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 2: don't really know why I'm annoyed, just that I am.

817
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 2: In any case, Miles thinks I should have us sit

818
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 2: down with Lucas. I expected him to want to talk

819
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 2: to his brother, but he said we should maintain the

820
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 2: illusion that he doesn't know, if only to spare Lucas

821
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 2: the guilt and or embarrassment. He knows his brother better

822
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 2: than anyone, so I'll follow his lead on this thing

823
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 2: is I'm not even sure Lucas remembers leaving the message.

824
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 2: Hopefully he does. I would hate to break the news.

825
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 2: I guess I'll post another update after meeting with Lucas.

826
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 2: I still have no idea what to say, like, Hey,

827
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 2: you wasted dial me and said you loved me. What's

828
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 2: up with that? No, probably not a good approach. We

829
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 2: have some comments here. Number one is read your update.

830
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 2: If it were me, I would want my fiance to

831
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: handle it. The relationship between the brothers is the most

832
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 2: important thing, and if his brother reports the conversation between

833
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 2: you and him going differently, it will make things worse. Really,

834
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,800
Speaker 2: this isn't about you at all, your fiance, Nail. Maybe

835
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,280
Speaker 2: the brother is very lonely, jealous of the relationship more

836
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 2: than of you in particular, or having some unrelated issue

837
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 2: that is manifesting weird like that's a stretch, my guy.

838
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: Either way, those issues are best resolved with his brother,

839
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: not you. I agree with that he involved his brother

840
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: by nature when he told you. He might as well

841
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 2: have said, don't call an ambulance, but I'm having a

842
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,880
Speaker 2: heart attack again. I personally would feel more comfortable with

843
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 2: it being just the brothers. Oh, he says. I agree.

844
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 2: I went in fully expecting Miles to want to handle

845
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 2: this on his own, but he made his stance very clear.

846
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 2: Lucas isn't just my brother to you. He's one of

847
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 2: your best friends. I trust you, and I also trust him.

848
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 2: He told you because he's ready to get over you.

849
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,359
Speaker 2: Talk to him, see where his head's at, and let

850
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 2: him know how you feel, even if he doesn't want

851
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,280
Speaker 2: to hear it. We've been texting on and off all morning.

852
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 2: To be honest, I'm even more ready to marry him

853
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 2: than I was before. He's handling this so well, Like

854
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 2: I knew.

855
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 3: That I wanted to marry you the moment your brother

856
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 3: texts done drunken dial with me.

857
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 2: Oh, I doubled down the moment you were like, I

858
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 2: don't care if my brother's in love with you. You're

859
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 2: his best friend.

860
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, she said she's at a crunk call umn.

861
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 3: Now, yes, I love you.

862
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 1: I want to marry you.

863
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 2: The script has been flipped. There's a reply here. Yes,

864
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 2: this sounds like a very good sign. He's sensitive, kind, caring,

865
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 2: and supportive, and he's not making this about him and

866
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 2: his feeling good job. There's another comment quote, I'm annoyed.

867
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 2: I don't really know why, just that I am. And

868
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 2: in response to this, a commenter says, my speculation on

869
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 2: this is one drama is frustrating. Two, it's your fiance's brother.

870
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 2: He decided that you had to know how he was feeling,

871
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 2: versus him finding a healthy way to deal with it,

872
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 2: like therapy. What did he expect that you were going

873
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 2: to jump from your relationship to be with him, that

874
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 2: you would keep this secret from the man You're planning

875
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 2: to spend the rest of your life with What good

876
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,919
Speaker 2: did telling you really do for either of you? Those

877
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 2: are the reasons I would personally be annoyed at this.

878
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 2: It's a natural reaction to something that could have been

879
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 2: potentially detrimental to your relationship or your fiance's relationship with

880
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 2: his family. A reply to this says, yeah, he took

881
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 2: his personal problem and made it your and your fiance's

882
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 2: problem when he decided to feeling dump all over you.

883
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: I mean like, I feel like the drunkenness is like

884
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 2: the biggest problem here. Like if you had brought this

885
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 2: up in a sober context, it might worked it out.

886
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 3: I don't want you know, I just wanted to tell

887
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 3: you get that chest right. Obviously, I understand that you

888
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 3: were in a you know, loving relationship.

889
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: The last thing I is home wreck my own brother.

890
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,919
Speaker 3: And then it could be like I need to take

891
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 3: some time away from you, or like I need to

892
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 3: distance myself a little bit. And I didn't want you

893
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 3: to think that I hate it.

894
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes you just need the catharsis of saying something

895
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 2: out loud to the only person who it is really

896
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 2: relevant towards reasonable adults have inappropriate crushes from time to time,

897
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: but manage not to go all out love actually over it.

898
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 2: I love actually, which I don't feel like again. I

899
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 2: don't feel like he did that at all. That's an

900
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 2: over Actually.

901
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: She freaking kisses him, and that's weird.

902
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 2: He's like out there with the shout out, Andrew Lincoln.

903
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 2: I would be parl I would be furious if I

904
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 2: were in your position. And we have another update here.

905
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 2: I'm sure this is gonna be post Lucas conversation.

906
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 3: I feel like it's gonna be fine. I think it's

907
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 3: gonna be.

908
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, update time, Okay, big thanks to everyone who

909
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 2: left a comment in the original post. Your input was

910
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 2: very helpful. I have since talked to Lucas again. It

911
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 2: was Miles idea. His logic was simple. Lucas told me

912
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 2: the truth because he was ready to let go and

913
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 2: get over me, or rather whatever idea of me he

914
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 2: had in his head. Miles thinks keeping Lucas as best

915
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 2: man in our wedding will be punishment enough. As brutal

916
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 2: as that sounds, I can't help but agree. Lucas isn't

917
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 2: a child and shouldn't be treated like one. I think

918
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 2: he knows We're disappointed in him. Worried and sympathetic, but

919
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 2: disappointed just the same. If he were truly looking to

920
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 2: split the engagement, I feel like he would have taken

921
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 2: a more sophisticated approach than just wasted dialing me. In

922
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 2: any case, we had a chat at mine and Miles's house.

923
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 2: Miles was home in his study working working in this study.

924
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 2: Lucas and I had lunch in the kitchen. To my relief,

925
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 2: he did not feign ignorance. We talked for maybe twenty

926
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 2: or thirty minutes, and he told me he originally wanted

927
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 2: to ask me out in university, but waited too long

928
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 2: and then stepped aside when he saw that I was

929
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 2: interested in his brother Insteap. He said he left that

930
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 2: voice message without agenda, and I believed him. The way

931
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 2: he was talking. His words came off more cathartic and

932
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 2: apologetic than hopeful. They didn't come off hopeful at all. Actually,

933
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 2: and by the way, I'm hopeful that you could listen

934
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 2: to full episodes with stories like this. All you gotta

935
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 2: do is go to iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts or wherever

936
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 2: you listen to podcasts, Spotify. What have you just search okay,

937
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 2: story time, and there you will find how many days

938
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 2: fifty fifty, fifty, a big five, oh fifty consecutive days?

939
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 2: What are those stories?

940
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: We're Hawaii five?

941
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 2: Oh, right, are at Hawaii five?

942
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 5: Oh of course we have some story left.

943
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think this is all going perfectly fine.

944
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,000
Speaker 3: I think, I mean, it seems like, oh, he understands

945
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 3: what happened. It seems like Lucas's you know.

946
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 2: Right, And it was Catharsis. It was cath It was

947
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 2: just I had to get this off my chest now

948
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 2: because I couldn't hold it in anything. Now his chest

949
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: he is free chested. I don't it was kind of

950
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 2: weird that the punishment of being the best man. I

951
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 2: don't know if I agree with that perspective. Wait was

952
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: that a comment, because they were like, no, it was

953
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 2: Op said, I think Miles and I agree having him

954
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 2: be best man at our wedding his punishment enough, because

955
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 2: they're like disappointed in him or whatever for bringing it

956
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 2: up this.

957
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 3: I think they were saying, like, I don't know, that

958
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 3: kind of sounds to me, not that they're trying to

959
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 3: punish him, right, but that if he him being best

960
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 3: man is already like.

961
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 2: Right, I'm just saying that. It's like, you know, this

962
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 2: is maybe I'm just being sympathetic, but it's like he's

963
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 2: going to have to work through that, and being best

964
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 2: man is going to force him to be like, all right,

965
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,719
Speaker 2: well this is clearly I think he knows and understands

966
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:57,800
Speaker 2: like that that's not happening.

967
00:44:57,920 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it has the elephant out of the room

968
00:44:59,520 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 1: or or.

969
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:04,359
Speaker 2: Everyone knows it's okay here, let's finish. He made sure

970
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 2: to say that our friendship was still genuine, and whatever

971
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 2: we've gone through since we met was untainted moments of

972
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 2: what if we're brief, he said, but heavy. At the

973
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 2: end of our talk, he was able to admit that

974
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 2: maybe his feelings stemmed from desire for a relationship similar

975
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 2: to mine and Miles, and not so much a desire

976
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:22,919
Speaker 2: for me specifically.

977
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 3: I think that's like a I mean, maybe not necessarily

978
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 3: the truth, but but also very valid.

979
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 2: It's a good way we're up, a good way to

980
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 2: think about it.

981
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

982
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 2: I told him he's still very welcome to the wedding

983
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 2: if he feels he's ready for something like that, and

984
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 2: he told me he'll be there for sure. We left

985
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 2: it at that. All in all, I'm confident everything will

986
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 2: be okay. It might take a while before we're back

987
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:44,919
Speaker 2: to normal around each other, but we had a chance

988
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 2: to talk and clear the air, and right now, that's

989
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 2: good enough for me. And that is the end of

990
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:51,720
Speaker 2: that story.

991
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 3: That's a freaking end of the story.

992
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 2: I feel like the good end of the story.

993
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 3: I want my brother in law to break up with

994
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,439
Speaker 3: his girlfriend because she's isolating him.

995
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,919
Speaker 2: Break up with your girlfriend, she's isolating.

996
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 3: And there we go. This situation is a bit complicated,

997
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 3: so bear with me. My partner has two brothers and

998
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 3: they've always been close as a family. However, since one

999
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 3: of his brothers let's call him Jake twenty three male,

1000
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 3: got into a relationship with his girlfriend, let's call her

1001
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,879
Speaker 3: Sarah twenty four female, things have completely changed. By the way,

1002
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 3: this comes from Professional Aoli five through two, and if

1003
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to our

1004
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 3: slash Okay storytime supparate it. So, Jake and Sarah have

1005
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,879
Speaker 3: been together for almost two years now, but the way

1006
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 3: the relationship started was messy. Sarah was actually dating Jake's

1007
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 3: childhood best friend, someone he had known since he was

1008
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 3: five years old. The three of them lived together and

1009
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 3: decided to move countries as a group, but once they arrived,

1010
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:53,479
Speaker 3: she dumped her boyfriend of three years and immediately moved

1011
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 3: in with Jake.

1012
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:55,720
Speaker 2: How hot is Jake?

1013
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 3: That's a little suspicious.

1014
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 2: How hot is Jake?

1015
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 3: He's gotta be hot, So I would be like if

1016
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 3: I were Sarah's partner, I'm like.

1017
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 2: It informs you you two someone's true nature.

1018
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 3: They had been messaging and communicating secretly for months before

1019
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 3: the move. As a result, Jake lost not only one

1020
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 3: of his best friends, but also most of his other

1021
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 3: best friends back home, as they understandably lost trust in him. Yes,

1022
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 3: we all made an effort with Sarah in the beginning,

1023
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 3: giving her the benefit of the doubt because she told

1024
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,359
Speaker 3: everyone that her ex had cheated on her and that

1025
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 3: she wasn't happy for a long time, and then you

1026
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 3: cheated on him. This story's already so messy, But in hindsight,

1027
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,399
Speaker 3: she still decided to move countries with him, despite having

1028
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 3: the perfect separation due to distance. They were all living

1029
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 3: together at Jake's parents' house when his best friend found out,

1030
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 3: and she jumped from one to the other and left

1031
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 3: the ex in the dust. Sarah is controlling and manipulative.

1032
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 3: She doesn't have many friends of her own, so she

1033
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 3: clings to Jake for everything. She also made sure to

1034
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,319
Speaker 3: insert herself into every friendship he's made, so he has

1035
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 3: no social life without her. She also has a lot

1036
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 3: to say about his familial relationship and how close he

1037
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 3: is with his brothers, and that it's weird to want

1038
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 3: to invest in things with them instead of her. She

1039
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 3: convinces him that their relationship is normal and healthy, even

1040
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 3: though she isolates him and pressures him into acting like

1041
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 3: a grown up despite him only being twenty three and

1042
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 3: having barely lived his life yet. For additional context, Jake, Sarah,

1043
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 3: and my sister originally decided to move in together because

1044
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,360
Speaker 3: Sarah and my sister got along well at first. My

1045
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 3: sister actually furnished the entire house with furniture my mom

1046
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 3: left her, so they only had to buy furniture for

1047
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 3: their own room. They were fine for about six months.

1048
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 3: Then Sarah and Jake started treating my sister differently, ignoring her,

1049
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 3: acting moody, making snarky comments, and cutting her out of things.

1050
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 3: I think Sarah got into Jake's head about my sister,

1051
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 3: turning him against her, despite Jake also knowing my sister

1052
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 3: for many years and getting along really well throughout this time.

1053
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 2: Roast Jake, why are you being a little l alliable

1054
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 2: ball of Plato's.

1055
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,399
Speaker 3: So we already know that Jake doesn't have like or

1056
00:48:56,440 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 3: great morals. Eventually, my sister felt so uncomfortfortable that she

1057
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 3: decided to move out and take the furniture she had provided.

1058
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 3: Jake and Sarah reacted badly, not because they were sad

1059
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 3: to see her go, but because they suddenly had to

1060
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 3: buy their own furniture and actually be adults. Despite Sarah

1061
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 3: always pressuring Jake to grow up and think about the

1062
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 3: future and buying a house together, et cetera, it felt hypocritical,

1063
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 3: and instead of acknowledging that my sister had every right

1064
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 3: to take back her things after they had treated her

1065
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 3: like crap for months, they called her selfish and treated

1066
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 3: her terribly. And that's when you say, I don't freaking

1067
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 3: care by, and you take your stuff and you never

1068
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 3: talked to them again, bye bye. Even went as far

1069
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 3: as barging into her room and yelling at her for

1070
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 3: being a bad person when they thought she had used

1071
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 3: some of their cleaning products.

1072
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 2: What yeah, jag sucks, you gonna yell at her for

1073
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 2: being a bad person. Be cleaned the place you.

1074
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: All live, nah, babe, I like the trash.

1075
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,720
Speaker 3: Keep in mind, they had always been communal cleaning products

1076
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 3: until my sister said she was moving out and they

1077
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 3: decided that the cleaning products were no longer communal. It

1078
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 3: doesn't even make sense to have non communal cleaning products.

1079
00:49:58,239 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 2: What is that?

1080
00:49:58,719 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 5: Like?

1081
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 3: You should all be chipping in on them, But like what,

1082
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 3: everyone's got to have their own windecks. He only showed

1083
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 3: any regret when my partner called him out for speaking

1084
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 3: to a woman like that, especially someone he has family

1085
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 3: connections to and has known for years. On top of that,

1086
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 3: when Sarah and my sister lived together, Sarah would constantly

1087
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:17,359
Speaker 3: complain about having to work with me and how much

1088
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,759
Speaker 3: she didn't want to work in general. She also made

1089
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 3: really out of pocket comments about my partner, one of

1090
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 3: them being along the lines of he gives me the

1091
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 3: vibes that he would cheat, despite the fact that we've

1092
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 3: been in a relationship for nearly ten years and he

1093
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 3: has never given me any reason to feel that way.

1094
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 3: She would also say comments about his family members, in

1095
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 3: my opinion, to change his opinion of his family and

1096
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 3: make him think that his family is dysfunctional or treating

1097
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 3: him poorly to isolate him from them. Further, as she

1098
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 3: knows he looks up to his brothers and respects their opinions.

1099
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 3: It's gotten to the point where Jake doesn't go anywhere

1100
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 3: without her, even when the brothers try to hang out

1101
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 3: just as siblings. If we invite him to something, he

1102
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 3: will only come if Sarah is invited too. I think

1103
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 3: she tells him that because there are a couple, she

1104
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 3: should always be included. The problem is when they are together,

1105
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 3: they're not pleasant to be herd because they enable each

1106
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 3: other's behavior and have made multiple family gatherings uncomfortable. It

1107
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 3: also doesn't help that I work with Sarah and I

1108
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 3: feel like she's aware that I don't trust her. She

1109
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 3: can be extremely moody, and it's difficult to separate work

1110
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 3: from personal life, especially after all the aforementioned things that

1111
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 3: took place. Please note I also made a huge effort

1112
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 3: with Sarah. She asked for a job at my work

1113
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 3: and I gave it to her. I would invite her

1114
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 3: over to hang out, lend her my clothes, open up

1115
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 3: to her about various different things, and she has just

1116
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 3: proven time and time again that I shouldn't trust her less.

1117
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 3: Once you cross my family, I fight it hard to

1118
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 3: be civil or want anything to do with you. Don't

1119
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 3: across her family.

1120
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 2: Cross my crossuity, dude, or I'll fight you.

1121
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 3: By the way, you wouldn't be crossing us if you

1122
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:46,000
Speaker 3: listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Just

1123
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 3: go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast to

1124
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:49,879
Speaker 3: happen search a pooka story time.

1125
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 2: That's right, and never cross us, breaking across us, cross us,

1126
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 2: or I'm gonna cross a cross.

1127
00:51:56,320 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to this story. Honestly,

1128
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 3: she might be isolating Jake, but also he's very complicit

1129
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 3: in this behavior.

1130
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 2: I know they both suck. They both suck. Jake sucks,

1131
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:13,799
Speaker 2: she sucks. People don't even be involved. They both suck. Yeah, sorry,

1132
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 2: I know you probably don't want to hear that. No,

1133
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:16,959
Speaker 2: but it's true. I mean it's true.

1134
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 3: At this point Jake, even before they got into relationship,

1135
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 3: he basically, you know, was complicit in this woman cheating

1136
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 3: on her partner, at least emotionally. Yeah, so that's also

1137
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:27,919
Speaker 3: not good.

1138
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 2: So you know, just let Jake and Sarah just be

1139
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 2: too stinky sticky pods, Pod and save the potential next

1140
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 2: woman that Jake would date or the next man that

1141
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 2: Sarah would date from having to date either of them.

1142
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, because they just take themselves off the market exactly.

1143
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 2: Let them, let them be stinky together, and it's not

1144
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 2: your responsibility. This point agreed.

1145
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit more. Despite all of those,

1146
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 3: Jake still believes that Sarah is the love of his

1147
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 3: life and that they'll be together forever. We feel like

1148
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 3: he's being manipulated and pressured into making lifelong decisions just

1149
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 3: to keep her happy, and that he's too deep in

1150
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 3: it to see the red flags because he gave up

1151
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 3: so much to be with her and is scared to

1152
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 3: face any of the repercussions. Now I feel stuck. We

1153
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 3: want to be able to hang out with Jake, as

1154
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 3: he used to be funny, kind and unproblematic, but since

1155
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,720
Speaker 3: he has been with Sarah, he is a completely different person.

1156
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 3: Please let me know if you think I'm being dramatic

1157
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,879
Speaker 3: in this situation. Am I the ale for wanting them

1158
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 3: to break up? And there are some comments to finish

1159
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 3: off the story. Comment one, given your description of her,

1160
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,800
Speaker 3: I was saying, not the a hole for wishing the

1161
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 3: relationship will end. However, he is a grown man and

1162
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 3: it's not up to anyone other than him to do that.

1163
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 3: Speaking badly of her, I would think would make the

1164
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 3: relationship stronger, creating an US against the world scenario. I

1165
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,439
Speaker 3: would leave it up to them. If you all say

1166
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 3: nothing negative and he's listening to her bad mouth all

1167
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,800
Speaker 3: his family while there is no retaliation from his family

1168
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 3: that I'm sure you will come to his own conclusions

1169
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 3: fairly quickly. And if he doesn't, then I guess you

1170
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 3: just accept it's his life and get on with yours.

1171
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 3: Comment two says you are not the a hole for

1172
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 3: wanting that, but you would be if you acted on it.

1173
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 3: All you can do is model better behavior. Have the

1174
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 3: remaining two brothers do things together. They should leave an

1175
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 3: invite for him, but say brothers only that they weren't

1176
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:10,760
Speaker 3: inviting any partners, not even you. Don't make exceptions for Sarah,

1177
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 3: just express regret that he can't make it without her.

1178
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:14,920
Speaker 3: Bonus points if the event is to an event he

1179
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 3: would love but she would hate family gatherings, make a

1180
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,960
Speaker 3: point for the brothers to have time together and the

1181
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,280
Speaker 3: partners to have a time together. If she starts to complain,

1182
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 3: make sure to loudly proclaim, hey, babe, have fun with

1183
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 3: your brothers. I know you enjoy your time with them,

1184
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 3: if extra petty add and I love it when you

1185
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 3: guys have the chance to have brother time, just brother ties.

1186
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 3: Couple brothers have a brother time reply, make sure you

1187
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 3: post it a lot of pictures of their brother time.

1188
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 2: Brother so funny.

1189
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 3: I'm just imagining someone like taking a bunch of pictures

1190
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 3: of like their partner and their brothers, and they're like

1191
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 3: brother time, brother time, brother Time. That is just a

1192
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,879
Speaker 3: story full of like ten pictures of these guys. It's like, hey,

1193
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,479
Speaker 3: it's just having some brother ties.

1194
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 2: The carousel posts with twenty pictures and the caption is

1195
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:00,319
Speaker 2: just brother time with the sun next to it, little

1196
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,959
Speaker 2: sunshine brother time, Sunshine rainbow.

1197
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 3: Brothers, summertime. If he ain't online, text them to him,

1198
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 3: we missed you, but was so much fun. Make him

1199
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 3: know what he's missing. Common three missing that's miss brother time.

1200
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 3: Comment three. Not the ale you're concerned about, Jake and

1201
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 3: as well being. You want for them to break up

1202
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,239
Speaker 3: comes from a place of love for him instead of

1203
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,399
Speaker 3: anger at her, even if that is a factor. If

1204
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 3: it was my brother, I would tell him that I

1205
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 3: love him, but I don't want his girlfriend around until

1206
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 3: she understands that some things don't involve her. For example,

1207
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 3: the boys in my family go out every year for

1208
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,320
Speaker 3: my dad's birthday to see a movie. Nobody else is invited,

1209
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:36,280
Speaker 3: and our significant others understand this because it's a family

1210
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:39,240
Speaker 3: tradition that started when my father was alive. If Jake's

1211
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:41,800
Speaker 3: girlfriend can't come to terms with the fact that everything

1212
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 3: in his life doesn't need to revolve around her, then

1213
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:48,359
Speaker 3: she is a toxic human that needs to be dumped. Unfortunately,

1214
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:51,839
Speaker 3: making Jake see it is a lot more difficult. Good luck,

1215
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,280
Speaker 3: and that is the end of that story.

1216
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,360
Speaker 2: Sam here og host. We're going to get back to

1217
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,760
Speaker 2: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1218
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 2: For we decided to help my struggling brother in law,

1219
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,760
Speaker 2: but now I just feel used.

1220
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:10,840
Speaker 3: Well, he better get used to not being in your life.

1221
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 2: I have been married to my wonderful wife for over

1222
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,800
Speaker 2: five years, but we have been together for ten. About

1223
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: a year ago, my company let me know they were

1224
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 2: transferring me. My wife and I were super happy about this.

1225
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 2: We moved at the beginning of twenty fifteen, about one

1226
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 2: thousand miles away from where we used to live. By

1227
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from a deleted user, and if

1228
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1229
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 2: r slash okay storytime subreddit. So my brother in law

1230
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:37,400
Speaker 2: used to hang out with us a lot when we

1231
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 2: lived in our old house and has always been helpful

1232
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,360
Speaker 2: to us. He was unhappy with his life due to

1233
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,799
Speaker 2: a major breakup and a job he did not want

1234
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 2: to be in forever. When we were getting ready to move,

1235
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 2: we let him know that if we had the space

1236
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:51,399
Speaker 2: when we bought a house, he was welcome to move

1237
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 2: and live with us. We bought a house that just

1238
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 2: so happens to be situated into two different apartments, so

1239
00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,320
Speaker 2: when we moved we let him know that he was

1240
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,279
Speaker 2: welcome to come live with us. He came to visit

1241
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 2: us in March, loved it where we were living, and

1242
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 2: made plans to move at the end of April. When

1243
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 2: we moved in, I let him know that while he

1244
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 2: is getting on his feet or finding a job, he

1245
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 2: wouldn't need to pay us rent and that we would

1246
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 2: make sure that he was fed as well. Within about

1247
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 2: a month, he found a job, not doing what he wanted,

1248
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 2: but in a field that he has a lot of

1249
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 2: experience in We were happy. The transition was pretty easy

1250
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 2: for him. The pay wasn't great, but it was better

1251
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 2: than what my wife was making. Anyhow, we didn't discuss

1252
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 2: rent or anything since he got the job red flag.

1253
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 3: Probably should have done that.

1254
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, do that immediately, Yeah, high priority. Right about a

1255
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 2: month ago, I was going to talk with him about rent,

1256
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 2: but he got irrationally mad about me sending him an

1257
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 2: email asking him to move all of his stuff out

1258
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 2: of the bathroom so I could repair an issue with

1259
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 2: the ceiling. Then he got pretty mad about me asking

1260
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,480
Speaker 2: him to borrow his truck in the wrong way. Not

1261
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 2: a problem. We worked through the issues, but he happened

1262
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 2: to get irrationally mad about these things. On the day

1263
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 2: I was going to talk with him about rent, one

1264
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 2: of his complaints was that I shouldn't approach him by email.

1265
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 2: I decided to put the rent conversation on hold until

1266
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 2: we got past this tension. Over the past month, he

1267
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 2: has become more and more abrasive towards me. Not all

1268
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 2: the time, but there is attention. He doesn't clean anything.

1269
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 2: Sorry for the awkward placement, but honestly, he cleans nothing. Also,

1270
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 2: he smokes and almost caused a fire because he doesn't

1271
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 2: empty his ashtray which is on a shelf outside next

1272
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 2: to the house, which caught fire.

1273
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 3: Ahaa.

1274
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 2: So he's not cleaning, is putting the house at ri

1275
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 2: and is getting abrasive with you, and he's paid zero dollars.

1276
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 3: You know what. You're being kind of a problem, and

1277
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 3: I haven't been buying us any money, so you gotta go.

1278
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 2: I'd agree to put a cherry on top of all

1279
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:52,800
Speaker 2: of this. We were planning to go out of town

1280
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 2: this weekend and asked him several times if he would

1281
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 2: watch our dogs and cats while we were gone, which

1282
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 2: he agreed to do. My wife parted up this morning

1283
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 2: with him, and he essentially said that he was not

1284
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 2: able to watch them this weekend. Anyhow, there are a

1285
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 2: multitude of issues that are starting to pop up. We

1286
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 2: just don't know how to best address these issues. I'm

1287
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 2: the type of person that prefers to deal with conflict

1288
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,920
Speaker 2: like this with an email, as I feel I am

1289
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 2: better able to delay how I feel and cover all issues. Bro,

1290
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 2: just say you work in a corporate office. As I

1291
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 2: said before, he is completely against this method of communication. Today,

1292
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 2: I typed up an email that addresses the rent situation,

1293
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 2: the cleaning issue, and the issue with his smoking. It's

1294
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 2: a long email where I apologize several times for the

1295
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 2: method of communication, but address each issue with what I

1296
00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 2: think are fair solutions. Please keep in mind, I have

1297
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 2: paid for his food and rent for the past five months,

1298
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 2: even though he's been employed for four months. How should

1299
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 2: I approach this? Should I just use the email as

1300
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,439
Speaker 2: a template to speak with him? Should I just send

1301
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:54,920
Speaker 2: the email? Am I overreacting about these issues as of now?

1302
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 2: I feel a bit taken advantage of and feel pretty

1303
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,520
Speaker 2: upset that this person I have done a lot for

1304
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 2: is acting like such a This all said, we would

1305
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:05,919
Speaker 2: like having him around and would not mind him living

1306
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 2: with us for the foreseeable future. If these issues were

1307
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 2: addressed and there's an edit. I have an ICU slash

1308
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 2: conspiracy theory right now. I think that the brother in

1309
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 2: law is trying to push people away.

1310
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:21,880
Speaker 3: I'm sure he's in like a really hard place.

1311
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 2: I feel like it's about to be like a self

1312
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 2: fulfilling prophecy, where like he needs to get on his

1313
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 2: feet and now he's got a job, but there's something

1314
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 2: going on where like his go to is like everyone

1315
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 2: hates me, nobody supports me, like nobody values me.

1316
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I think Also there's like I've I had

1317
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 3: a friend who like was helping out another friend but

1318
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 3: like letting him live, and he was just causing so

1319
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 3: many problems, And I think sometimes it's like it's kind

1320
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 3: of pride thing of like, oh, I don't I don't

1321
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 3: need to rely on them, so I could crap talk them, right,

1322
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 3: I can, you know, not do not help out.

1323
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 2: But it's like, where would you be living for free

1324
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:00,480
Speaker 2: for the last five months if it wasn't for the people.

1325
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 2: So I hope that's not the case, because that's that's

1326
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 2: a really hard behavior pattern to get out of. There's

1327
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 2: an edit. Thank you all for your input and opinions. Honestly,

1328
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 2: no one had bad suggestions, but some were a bit

1329
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 2: more relevant to my situation. I really appreciate all the

1330
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,720
Speaker 2: help and thoughtful suggestions. My wife and I are going

1331
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 2: to go away for the weekend and we'll talk with

1332
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 2: him Sunday or Monday. I'll do an update to let

1333
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 2: you all know how it went. Thank you again. Here's

1334
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,800
Speaker 2: the update. Let's get into it. My wife and I

1335
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 2: went away for the weekend, had a great time, even

1336
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 2: though the dogs were a bit of a hassle.

1337
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 3: Oh so they brought the dogs with them, Yeah, because

1338
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 3: we wouldn't watch them.

1339
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 2: That's fine. What happened with the cat though, dog's on

1340
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 2: the trip. That's fun. Cat takes care of itself.

1341
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:40,560
Speaker 3: It's fine, got fine.

1342
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:44,600
Speaker 2: Cat takes care of itself. Pretty much. Before we even left,

1343
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 2: brother in law told me out of the blue that

1344
01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:49,560
Speaker 2: he feels bad, like he's not really been carrying his weight.

1345
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:51,640
Speaker 2: He said he would clean the kitchen while we were gone,

1346
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 2: which I guess is a step in the right direction

1347
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 2: before I start judging. When we came back, the kitchen

1348
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 2: was still undone. All right, I'm judging that's not enough.

1349
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:00,840
Speaker 3: He's like, I thought about it.

1350
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 2: I told you i'd do it. Isn't that something help?

1351
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 3: Isn't that good to me?

1352
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 2: The next day, Monday, he actually did clean the kitchen,

1353
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 2: which is great. It smells way better now. We did

1354
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 2: not get a chance to talk with him Monday, our

1355
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 2: schedules did not jive. On Tuesday, he mowed the lawn

1356
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 2: and shaped some bushes in our front yard. Again, we

1357
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 2: did not get a chance to talk with him, but

1358
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:21,680
Speaker 2: it was really nice to see he was starting to

1359
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:23,880
Speaker 2: pull his weight. Last night, I made a pot roast

1360
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 2: and invited him to eat with us. We sat down

1361
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 2: and ate the meal, and at the end I brought

1362
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 2: up that significant other and I had been talking about

1363
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 2: him paying us some rent. He immediately agreed, said he

1364
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 2: was thinking he should as well, but had not brought

1365
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 2: it up yet. We talked about how much he should pay.

1366
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 2: He agreed with our figure and said it's so cheap anyhow,

1367
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 2: he can definitely do that. We talked about his plans

1368
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 2: and how long he thinks he's going to stay with us.

1369
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:47,720
Speaker 2: He said that next year one of his friends might

1370
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,600
Speaker 2: be looking for a roommate, and he just went through

1371
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 2: a divorce, so he's considering moving in with him now,

1372
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:55,640
Speaker 2: the less than perfect thing, but still acceptable to us.

1373
01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 2: He brought up that his job is currently seasonal, but

1374
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 2: being where we are, the season is around nine or

1375
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:03,439
Speaker 2: ten months. He asked that if he's unable to find

1376
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 2: a job for the two to three months that he's

1377
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:09,120
Speaker 2: off work, could we skip the rent payment. My significant

1378
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 2: other and I talked about it and figured this was

1379
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 2: fine since we had set standard that if he's earning money,

1380
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:16,400
Speaker 2: he owes us rent, which we all agreed to. Man

1381
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:18,480
Speaker 2: if only can you imagine if that was how it

1382
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:19,080
Speaker 2: was all over.

1383
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 3: It's like, I'm not I'm not here so I don't

1384
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 3: have to pay.

1385
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, Barnabas I don't have the rent. You can't

1386
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 2: throw me in the line pick because I don't have

1387
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,200
Speaker 2: a job. I'm not making any money.

1388
01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, dang it. I mean he's already not been paying

1389
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 3: for the rent. I think if I were in that situation,

1390
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 3: I'd be like I want to If I had the money,

1391
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:36,680
Speaker 3: I would want to pay as much as possible.

1392
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:39,960
Speaker 2: Dude, you just told us it's so cheap. He also

1393
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 2: asked if he could start paying us in November, as

1394
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:45,120
Speaker 2: he needs to get a computer and some books for school.

1395
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 2: My significant other and I had always been big advocates

1396
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 2: of him going back to school, as he has been

1397
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 2: unhappy with the types of jobs he can get without

1398
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 2: a degree. We were totally fine with this, as we

1399
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 2: support the decision for him to go back to school.

1400
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 2: One of the main reasons I have been so willing

1401
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 2: to help him has always been that I wanted to

1402
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 2: try to get him a leg up now when his

1403
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 2: life is cheap, so he could find security and eventually

1404
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 2: would be able to stand on his own two legs

1405
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,959
Speaker 2: without our support. I think going back to school puts

1406
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,080
Speaker 2: him on this path, which we are happy about. We

1407
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:16,120
Speaker 2: have not talked about the cigarettes with him as of yet,

1408
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 2: as we wanted to trickle out with major issues to

1409
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:21,560
Speaker 2: talk with him. And by the way, you can majorly

1410
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 2: listen to full episodes with stories just like this on

1411
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,280
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio or Apple podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen

1412
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:31,320
Speaker 2: to podcasts. Just search Okay story Time the name of

1413
01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 2: this show, and then you can find the entire archive

1414
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:37,520
Speaker 2: and you could spend the rest of your life listening

1415
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 2: to it because we add new stuff to it every day,

1416
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 2: although there are people out there who will catch up

1417
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 2: in a matter of months, and that's the truth.

1418
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 3: My final thought on this story is, uh, it seems

1419
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 3: like Op and our partner are like very very big

1420
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 3: advocates of this guy, which is really he's just so

1421
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 3: lucky that even though he's good support to a lot

1422
01:04:57,600 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 3: of mistakes, but like really good support system, so he

1423
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 3: just has to be aware of that he's really lucky.

1424
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:06,800
Speaker 2: I feel like it's not you know, you can help him.

1425
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 2: You can give him a fair price on rent, you

1426
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:11,439
Speaker 2: can help him go back to school. But I think

1427
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:16,160
Speaker 2: by allowing someone who's thirty one like dictate their own

1428
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:19,840
Speaker 2: terms like that, like, it's because that's not real. Yeah,

1429
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:22,520
Speaker 2: Like you don't get to go to your your landlord

1430
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 2: or whoever you're renting from and be like, hey, so

1431
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 2: here's the deal. I'm only going to have money nine

1432
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,080
Speaker 2: months out of the year, so I'm not going to

1433
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:30,880
Speaker 2: be able to pay rent. And also I'm not going

1434
01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 2: to start paying until this time, even though I've been

1435
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:35,600
Speaker 2: working for five months. It's like you need to take

1436
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:37,959
Speaker 2: the kid gloves off because he's thirty one.

1437
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 3: It's going back to That was my only kind of

1438
01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 3: thing of He's making a lot of a lot of stipulations.

1439
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 3: So there is a little bit more to this story.

1440
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 2: Let's finish it off. So looks like things are working out.

1441
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 2: I will update in November if he does not pay

1442
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,400
Speaker 2: us or if something else happens, but as of now,

1443
01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 2: it looks like we're on pretty firm ground. And edit,

1444
01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 2: the two or three months of rent leniency was not

1445
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:05,200
Speaker 2: him asking not to pay at all, and I regret

1446
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:07,360
Speaker 2: that I did not describe this better. What he was

1447
01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:10,360
Speaker 2: saying is that there's a possibility that he might not

1448
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 2: have enough money, and if he did not, then we

1449
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:14,720
Speaker 2: would be willing to cut him a brank on rent.

1450
01:06:14,800 --> 01:06:16,720
Speaker 2: He'll pay what he can when his work is less,

1451
01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 2: and we won't keep a running tab of what he

1452
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,080
Speaker 2: owes us. Just forgive it, okay.

1453
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:22,120
Speaker 3: But when his work is less, I feel like he

1454
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 3: should find another job.

1455
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 2: No exactly, I mean, babies, I don't.

1456
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:30,360
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't have a job during this time,

1457
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,000
Speaker 3: so I can't do anything bout that.

1458
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:34,960
Speaker 2: Gotta get a job, brother, Yeah, gotta get a job.

1459
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 3: Then.

1460
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:37,560
Speaker 2: I don't know, but that is the end of that story.