Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast
Speaker 1: wine Down Monday. Hey, um, Jen and we were just
Speaker 1: talking about how we wake up. I know, I woke
Speaker 1: up this morning and I looked at Instagram. That's how
Speaker 1: did you see my post? That's not actually didn't see
Speaker 1: your post, but that is the very first thing I did.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I wonder if anyone commented on sprinkle
Speaker 1: we had, But what did you Well? I posted something
Speaker 1: this morning, and it always puts me in the front.
Speaker 1: How you start your first five minutes of your day
Speaker 1: really sets the whole groundwork for the entire day. It
Speaker 1: sets the whole tone. If you start off going this
Speaker 1: Monday awful, what's going to happen? You're going to get
Speaker 1: out of bed, get in the shower, get on your
Speaker 1: spin bike, whatever you're doing. Whatever you're doing you're spinning, think, well,
Speaker 1: that's what I did. So I posted something this morning.
Speaker 1: It was Sometimes we forget how magical it is just
Speaker 1: to wake up in the morning, take a breath, wiggle
Speaker 1: your toes and open your droopy eyes and take a
Speaker 1: moment to feel some gratitude that you're alive and that
Speaker 1: you get to live this amazing day. Also, you are
Speaker 1: exchanging a day of your life for whatever you do today,
Speaker 1: So it's important to really set the tone and be positive.
Speaker 1: But no matter what's going on, wouldn't that be great
Speaker 1: if you could actually be regimented in that kind of mindset?
Speaker 1: You have to train. You have to train yourself. Well,
Speaker 1: Mike and I woke up and thought, this morning that
Speaker 1: was fun Well, that is not a good way to
Speaker 1: start the tone. What did you guys fight about? Well,
Speaker 1: let me just say it's really funny because what we
Speaker 1: thought about. He just asked me coming in the exact
Speaker 1: same thing, and I go, and I go in my head,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm gonna save that for the podcast
Speaker 1: because I said, this morning, are you okay? And it
Speaker 1: turned into a complete s show. You're welcome Easton for
Speaker 1: not having to blue that. But then when we walked
Speaker 1: down the stairs going to record this podcast, goes what's wrong?
Speaker 1: And I was like, nothing, honey, But I was like,
Speaker 1: we just got into a huge fight because you got
Speaker 1: mad at me for asking you what's wrong? But yet
Speaker 1: I just so here. I always said we were last
Speaker 1: week we were gonna talk about therapy. You have a
Speaker 1: therapy moment right now. Details. So what did you just see?
Speaker 1: How you how hypocritical you just were? Trust me. As
Speaker 1: soon as I said, I was like, let me just
Speaker 1: take it back. But see how easy it is to
Speaker 1: when you see something. So this morning when I saw him,
Speaker 1: he had woken up earlier. Uh he woke up about
Speaker 1: an hour earlier than me. And you know, Jolie was
Speaker 1: she's in this mood where she just wants her the
Speaker 1: first thing she wants in the morning is to wear
Speaker 1: a dress. And it's just if you you don't put
Speaker 1: a dress on her, then it's a complete just it's
Speaker 1: it's a nightmare. She screams, it's it's very frustrating. So
Speaker 1: but you know, we had to get her ready for
Speaker 1: school as it was a little chillier this morning, and
Speaker 1: we don't wouldn't want to put her in a dress,
Speaker 1: So a little bit of a thing there, but we
Speaker 1: we kind of were like passing and I just said, hey,
Speaker 1: are you okay, and he was like yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: walking into the bathroom and I was like, oh okay,
Speaker 1: Like um sorry, Like I didn't meet I just was
Speaker 1: asking if you were okay, Like I'm sorry. It just
Speaker 1: came from nowhere where I was just like kind of
Speaker 1: walking by a straight face walking to bath and get something.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, you okay. I'm like yeah, I'm I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I'm just going through the morning. And then it was
Speaker 1: that was one thing. The second thing was we were
Speaker 1: all going to drop Jolie off together and then she
Speaker 1: was going to go somewhere before we came here, and
Speaker 1: Julie and I started walking out the door and I
Speaker 1: like halfway closed the front door. She's like, oh, are
Speaker 1: you gonna wait for us? I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: said I said, hey, are you going to wait for me?
Speaker 1: Because I still had to go in the kitchen. But
Speaker 1: he just was so already mad that I asked the
Speaker 1: question before that he kind of already shut me off.
Speaker 1: And then I go, you know what, bab, why don't
Speaker 1: you just take Jolia to school? And he's like, no,
Speaker 1: come on, let's go. He's like I'm like no, I
Speaker 1: can tell you're frustrated. And now he's I'm fine, I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I'm like you were hid and I was like I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I was like I can't go outside with Joliana. But
Speaker 1: that right there, that tone is what gets me, like,
Speaker 1: an't if I ask you if you're okay, okay, but well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. You just seem like you were like,
Speaker 1: but why why can't you just be like, of course
Speaker 1: and then that be it? But why do you have
Speaker 1: to ask? Why does it matter? I love everything about this,
Speaker 1: but it's so fascinating because this is like so many
Speaker 1: people can relate to this, And what I've learned is
Speaker 1: it's perspective you can I had a thing recently where
Speaker 1: three people told me the same story. They were all
Speaker 1: together and witnessed the same event, and they each told
Speaker 1: it to me differently, And I think that's what's happening.
Speaker 1: Mike perceived what Janna was asking in a completely different
Speaker 1: way than you intended it. You misinterpreted the tone, But
Speaker 1: I said, but I just don't understand why he couldn't
Speaker 1: have just been like, yeah, I want to know, why
Speaker 1: are you okay? Triggered you well, and so he comes
Speaker 1: so so okay, So then time out, So then he
Speaker 1: leaves because are you because I'm like when he when
Speaker 1: he responds in that way, I'm just like, clearly you're
Speaker 1: not okay, and I can't get to wherever you're at
Speaker 1: right now. And Jolie's sitting like standing there. I'm like,
Speaker 1: please just take her to school, Please take her to school. So,
Speaker 1: you know, he leaves, takes her to school, and he
Speaker 1: comes back and I'm waiting for my uber and you know,
Speaker 1: he comes in and he says, Michael, I say that
Speaker 1: I can embraced hers and give me a hug. I said,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that, you know, if my reaction could be
Speaker 1: pre sensitive at times, it's just my kind of your
Speaker 1: saying my interpretation like how that makes me feel when
Speaker 1: it's kind of we're just getting our days started. I'm
Speaker 1: still trying to wake up, and I'm just kind of
Speaker 1: walking through the bedroom. And after you know, fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: of us being up together, I here are you okay?
Speaker 1: I'm like, God, the day just started, Like yeah, I'm fine?
Speaker 1: Like why am I being questioned so triggered by are
Speaker 1: you okay? Did you guys used to have that be
Speaker 1: my whole thing? Like what I told her is my
Speaker 1: whole issues with not feeling good enough are so ingrained
Speaker 1: in me that if I here, are you okay? That
Speaker 1: triggers me to think, am I not acting like I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be acting? Am I not doing what you
Speaker 1: need to me to be doing? And so I'm like,
Speaker 1: should I be doing something else? And then I'm all
Speaker 1: of a sudden not confident in what I'm doing in
Speaker 1: that moment. Again, it goes in, it goes in phases.
Speaker 1: I'm not like that every single day seven It's just
Speaker 1: some certain times are more sensitive than others. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, it's just I am So then, what's the
Speaker 1: difference between you asking me when you see my face
Speaker 1: when we're walking down here, when you ask me if
Speaker 1: I'm okay? How how is could you say? How contradicted
Speaker 1: struggling we're walking? No? I wasn't at that point. So interesting,
Speaker 1: Like I know that it's like you guys are like
Speaker 1: dealing with it emotionally, but for an outsider, it's so
Speaker 1: fascinating to see the way people interact men and women.
Speaker 1: And then here's my question for you guys. After the
Speaker 1: hug and he said, I'm sorry, are you able to
Speaker 1: let it go and move forward? Because my problem is
Speaker 1: I will hold onto it for a day and a
Speaker 1: half and I cannot let it go. So that's how
Speaker 1: we used to. We used to not We used to
Speaker 1: not be able to rebound as quick. Now we're able
Speaker 1: to rebound faster but it's still inside of me right now.
Speaker 1: Like I walked in being like, why is it okay?
Speaker 1: If I just ask you a simple question? Why do
Speaker 1: you get so why do you have to go straight
Speaker 1: to your I'm not good enough, I'm not this. I
Speaker 1: just asked a freaking question and wondering if my husband's okay?
Speaker 1: Why why does it have to be? Like why do
Speaker 1: you have to go into year? What gave you the
Speaker 1: inclination to ask me if I was okay this morning?
Speaker 1: You just seemed annoyed. You seemed quiet and annoyed, and
Speaker 1: you know, maybe it was Jolie, maybe it was you
Speaker 1: were in your head. I don't know, But why is it?
Speaker 1: Why is it wrong of your wife to ask you
Speaker 1: if you're okay or not. I'm not saying it's wrong.
Speaker 1: I never said it was wrong. And you went straight
Speaker 1: into your stuff and then took it out. Is it
Speaker 1: not a man woman thing? Because if Jannah asked me,
Speaker 1: I would be like, you're so sweet for caring and
Speaker 1: being so like intuitive into seeing my body language. And
Speaker 1: men hate that s they don't want women diggy. So
Speaker 1: I was married to someone for a really long time
Speaker 1: who was the worst morning person on the planet, and
Speaker 1: I'm a morning person. I wake up happy. I'm so
Speaker 1: excited a SpongeBob, and so is Rocko. He hops off,
Speaker 1: good morning. So I would walk around the house and
Speaker 1: I would be walking on eggshells because the energy was
Speaker 1: so dark and so frustrated and so angry. And I
Speaker 1: learned I would say, hey, everything okay, everything sucks. The
Speaker 1: world's dark, you know, like he was just so angry
Speaker 1: and so frustrated in the morning. And it's really hard.
Speaker 1: Now I'm with somebody who doesn't mind if I ask
Speaker 1: are you okay? And it's a totally different experience, it
Speaker 1: really is. I think are you okay is just one
Speaker 1: step from we need to talk? It is you're right.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh now I have to open up. Great,
Speaker 1: now we're you know, I have to pull out my emotions.
Speaker 1: So I'm just wondering if you were in your head
Speaker 1: and the energy that Janna was getting was kind of
Speaker 1: like closed up, and that's probably why are you? Like
Speaker 1: are you okay? And maybe the tone was just you know,
Speaker 1: it was a completely just misinterpreted that's it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it's just it was just a miss in general.
Speaker 1: I see. I just I think there are times when
Speaker 1: you when when he is just fine and I do
Speaker 1: just ask a simple and you know, and I'm missing
Speaker 1: the situation. But I just feel like today there was
Speaker 1: something that you weren't that you were frustrated, that you
Speaker 1: weren't just okay and walking into the bathroom. Because the
Speaker 1: response that you gave back to me was so like
Speaker 1: just so like like just so annoyed at me that
Speaker 1: I was like, there, this didn't just come out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: But I understand that, and I'm sorry that that your
Speaker 1: first reaction is to feel like you're not good enough,
Speaker 1: because I don't want you to feel like you're not
Speaker 1: good enough. I think it was, Yeah, it was Joey
Speaker 1: was being a pain this morning. I was just kind
Speaker 1: of waking up from the day. So your wife asking
Speaker 1: you a question on top of it, It's like, I
Speaker 1: just want to process this myself and get through it
Speaker 1: and I'll be okay and you know, and I'll have
Speaker 1: my emotions and I'll be fine. You want to take, yeah,
Speaker 1: just give me something, okay. So my mom called me
Speaker 1: the other day and she said, what do you want
Speaker 1: me to do with all these photos? She said, she
Speaker 1: has so many photos of my ice skating videos. She's
Speaker 1: got photos of me when I was a little girl
Speaker 1: in school, and I started to think. I was like, man,
Speaker 1: they've all just been sitting in the garage for so long.
Speaker 1: How cool would it be if we had something where
Speaker 1: we can put it all together. Well, I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to tell you guys that there is a perfect solution.
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Speaker 1: forty today get started preserving your past. Alright, So I'm
Speaker 1: not on my period yet because I've still got a
Speaker 1: baby in my belly. But when the baby comes out
Speaker 1: and I start my period again, I'm really truly excited
Speaker 1: to use Lola because I have a few friends like
Speaker 1: Jen who use Lola. And it's so great because I
Speaker 1: feel like, whenever I go to the store, I don't
Speaker 1: want just so many of the supers, are so many
Speaker 1: of the regular tampons, or these many pads. What's so
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Speaker 1: your time of the month is, so you know that, hey,
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Speaker 1: and entered Janna for forty percent off all subscriptions Lola
Speaker 1: dot Com promo code Janna. So we have an absolute
Speaker 1: legend that just walked into our studio, a total legend.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I mean, I don't even feel like I
Speaker 1: have to introduce you with now your voice everyone knows
Speaker 1: here you ladies and gentlemen, please welcome for a dress.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you, happy to be here.
Speaker 1: So um, Sorry, my husband, I kind of got into
Speaker 1: an argument it this morning was so big my opinion.
Speaker 1: I think I think we've I think we've cleared it
Speaker 1: for now. We're going to table it at the moment
Speaker 1: because we really are just so excited that you're in
Speaker 1: studio with us today. Thank you so much for taking
Speaker 1: the time to be here. And we were talking about
Speaker 1: how we start our mornings, and I loved you were
Speaker 1: talking to producer Amy Amy earlier about how you start
Speaker 1: your mornings, and I start mine terribly. I look straight
Speaker 1: at Instagram, which is the worst possible thing to do,
Speaker 1: because I immediately just like my life socks. These people's
Speaker 1: are better like. And then but you you start your
Speaker 1: morning feeding chickens. No, not well, no, I said, the animals. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's my tropical fish. My dog and I have some
Speaker 1: wild birds so that live on you know, on the
Speaker 1: house and on the property. So yeah, that's my great pleasure.
Speaker 1: When I first get up, I put on my champ music.
Speaker 1: I don't need to wear clothes. I just like to
Speaker 1: kind of beat chill and naked and walk around. Do
Speaker 1: you walk around butt naked? That's amazing? I love that stick.
Speaker 1: You know, once I get home, if I'm by myself,
Speaker 1: and even where I live, don't you get cold? Well,
Speaker 1: if I'm called, then I put on Okay, having a
Speaker 1: huge assortment of robes. So yeah, it's just so this
Speaker 1: is so like nostalgic for us. I feel like because
Speaker 1: I grew up watching The Nanny, it was one of
Speaker 1: my favorite shows. Why have they not rebooted that show yet? No? Actually,
Speaker 1: and mean it was like it was a huge success something,
Speaker 1: but it isn't a reboot, but um, you know, you
Speaker 1: never know, something may happen. It seems like something that
Speaker 1: the fans would like, and uh, they certainly know where
Speaker 1: to find me. But you know, recently I've been thinking
Speaker 1: more about it, and I think that if I come
Speaker 1: up with the right hook, yeah, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: a That's the theme nowadays is kind of bringing back
Speaker 1: older shows and kind of bringing the Murphy Browns that
Speaker 1: those those worked, So it's like why not you know
Speaker 1: in cable, I feel like needs that. Well for me,
Speaker 1: it would have to be really like you need Cardi
Speaker 1: b is what you said, Well, that would make it
Speaker 1: for me. I can all come together and make sense
Speaker 1: and be fresh and everything like that, and she would
Speaker 1: be the nanny. I'd be some mom I SYLVI are
Speaker 1: in this version, Um, and get some sexy Latino to
Speaker 1: play my husband warning the perfect and then get like
Speaker 1: some Obama type to be Mr Sheffield. Fine, I love it,
Speaker 1: like a totally fresh version. But um, but you know,
Speaker 1: if it doesn't make my hearts sing, then you know
Speaker 1: I'm I'm always writing, I'm always producing, I'm always doing things.
Speaker 1: And my organization, Cancers MANCA, keeps me very busy to
Speaker 1: do and that really makes my hearts sing. You know,
Speaker 1: I feel like I got famous. I got cancer and
Speaker 1: I live to talk about it. And I'm talking and
Speaker 1: I think that we have cancers. MANCA movement is really
Speaker 1: making a debt, like we're really changing the way people think.
Speaker 1: And this year at our Health Summit at Dorothy Chandler
Speaker 1: Pavilion on October, the theme is how you live equals
Speaker 1: how you feel, So we really want to connect those
Speaker 1: thoughts for people to really start. If you don't feel great,
Speaker 1: you gotta look at how you're living. It's always because
Speaker 1: of that, so very rarely is it because of anything else.
Speaker 1: Environmental what you you know, And we have a very
Speaker 1: progressive program called Detox your Home because the home is
Speaker 1: the most toxic place we spend the most time and
Speaker 1: and ironically have the most control over. So start there
Speaker 1: with the in on and around your challenge. What are
Speaker 1: you eating all of your personal carer items? What are
Speaker 1: you cleaning gardening with? Just kind of start with that,
Speaker 1: and you would be amazed if you just decided I'm
Speaker 1: not going to do industrial farm foods anymore because that's
Speaker 1: just full of agri chemicals that are not serving anyone
Speaker 1: well but the aggri chemical companies. And you know, can
Speaker 1: you start with stuff like that? And then you gotta
Speaker 1: look at what's your toothpaste? Does it say do not
Speaker 1: swallow or quote poison control? It's like do not use that?
Speaker 1: Never looked at started So her said, like, you know,
Speaker 1: she's we have a three year old almost three year
Speaker 1: old daughter, and I was reading it says do not swallow,
Speaker 1: and I was like, maybe we should we need to
Speaker 1: get her like better toothpaste because she swallows it. Tooth
Speaker 1: bays should be like food. Man, if you kind of
Speaker 1: put stuff in your mouth that's toxic. The food. The
Speaker 1: mouth is the gateway to everything. People don't even realize.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't get you know, like root canals.
Speaker 1: That's not good. You get extractions. You have to be
Speaker 1: so careful you're with the right person because if you
Speaker 1: get cavitation in the drawline from a back moler, you
Speaker 1: know you're asking for breast cancer. There's so many things
Speaker 1: when you if you have skin problems, you know you'll
Speaker 1: go to a germatologist and they're trying to give you
Speaker 1: stuff to suppress the symptom that's showing up in your skin,
Speaker 1: when really nobody is looking at hormones or or liver.
Speaker 1: Skin is liver, brain is gut. If you have brain
Speaker 1: fog any, you know, dementia, Parkinson's, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, look
Speaker 1: at your freaking gut. The gut is and you know,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of fun. It's fun. It's fun. The
Speaker 1: universe is constantly presenting us with opportunities to, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: journey on this journey of self refinement. That's the only
Speaker 1: reason why we're here is so that our souls can
Speaker 1: become more refined. And get more woke. How you've been
Speaker 1: battling cancer for two years? Uh no, I am eighteen years.
Speaker 1: Well it took my two years and eight doctors to
Speaker 1: get a proper diagnosis. So that's is that my phone?
Speaker 1: Nok ah? Where it is? Ladies and gentlemen, do you
Speaker 1: I do people just come up to you and ask
Speaker 1: you to laugh? Yes, they do. I call that my
Speaker 1: seal act. Is it just kind of like and you know,
Speaker 1: I mean it's uh, you know, my voice is very
Speaker 1: distinctive and thank god I found the way to monetize it.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you that. But my mom was once
Speaker 1: being interviewed and they said, did she have a funny
Speaker 1: voice when she was a kid, And in a very
Speaker 1: similar voice, she said, we never knew she had a
Speaker 1: funny voice. I'm not as unique in Queens, but it
Speaker 1: still is unusual even in Flushing. Was it hard though, too?
Speaker 1: Did you feel like typecasted because of it? After the Nanny?
Speaker 1: You know? I mean I was. I wasn't mad at
Speaker 1: the typecasting at the time because I felt like I
Speaker 1: was in a groove with uh, like when I first
Speaker 1: started the shows that were on TV. Was welcome back
Speaker 1: cod happy days, laverneon Shirley and then my first movie
Speaker 1: was Saturday Night Fever, so I kind of slipped right
Speaker 1: in and then you know, I, you know, being funny,
Speaker 1: pretty young with a funny voice, you know, that was
Speaker 1: my sweet spot and I you know, it was. It's
Speaker 1: good to be specific in this business. You know, not
Speaker 1: everyone can be Meryl Street and the rest of everybody
Speaker 1: who's non specific. You know, I think I have a
Speaker 1: heart of time. You can be the greatest actor in
Speaker 1: the world and basically go unnoticed. But if you're you know,
Speaker 1: if you have stark quality, then maybe you'll be noticed.
Speaker 1: And maybe not. Everybody wants to be a celebrity. You
Speaker 1: know a lot of actors are really shy and they
Speaker 1: just want to be serious actors. But you know, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't know if problem being a celebrity. I like,
Speaker 1: you know, leveraging my celebrity for the greater good, which
Speaker 1: it looks like you've done with all your cancer sponsor
Speaker 1: and you know, outspoken you are about things that you've
Speaker 1: been through, something that Janna and I talked about a
Speaker 1: lot on here were big advocates for therapy, personal therapy,
Speaker 1: A couple of therapy. I love it. What is it?
Speaker 1: How has that like helped you kind of overcome things
Speaker 1: in your life? For just do you still see a
Speaker 1: therapist to this day? I kind of tell listeners about that.
Speaker 1: I'm on, I'm on a little break right now. But uh,
Speaker 1: but you know I went for like twelve years pycho therapy.
Speaker 1: And when I started, when Peter and I were splitting,
Speaker 1: I was like such a wreck. I went five days
Speaker 1: a week. It is well I couldn't, you know, I
Speaker 1: you know, I needed it and uh and and so
Speaker 1: much I had to look at because I was one
Speaker 1: of those people that didn't really let myself feel my
Speaker 1: feelings right and uh, you know, I've none my feelings
Speaker 1: with pot or I just would very e them. And
Speaker 1: I was even a victim of a violent crime. I
Speaker 1: was ready to come point. I didn't really deal with
Speaker 1: my pain. I just said, you know, I can handle
Speaker 1: this march on person here. And then like ten years later,
Speaker 1: when I was famous on the Nannie and Alta, that
Speaker 1: kind of uh magazine TV shows kind of exploited that,
Speaker 1: and um, even though I had written about it, my
Speaker 1: uh you know, they put it on like it had
Speaker 1: just happened. And my mom was getting calls my parents
Speaker 1: from neighbors. What happened to Brandon? It was like this
Speaker 1: happened a while ago, but for me, I re experienced it,
Speaker 1: and because I was in therapy, you know, I had like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, a PTS, and suddenly it was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this happened to me and I was I
Speaker 1: remember lying on the couch and weeping, you know, over
Speaker 1: and over again, until you know, I could sort it
Speaker 1: all out and really connect with how painful that all was.
Speaker 1: And I think that that was a contributor to my cancer.
Speaker 1: It's almost poetic that I should have been denial of
Speaker 1: being raped and then end up with uterine cancer. Well
Speaker 1: they always say disease cause this disease. I always say
Speaker 1: that too, So it's ease. And you know, every trooper says,
Speaker 1: you know the issues are in the tissues. Yes, So
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna do with you're paying man, it's
Speaker 1: gonna show up somewhere, and it's to manifest somewhere. We
Speaker 1: talked to daughter on here and she said a lot
Speaker 1: of the same things. Well, she's she's done the um.
Speaker 1: She's actually led meditations from my health summit. So cool.
Speaker 1: How did experiencing a disease like cancer changed the way
Speaker 1: you live your everyday life, oh, you know, exponentially. And mean,
Speaker 1: over the course of the eighteen years that I've been well,
Speaker 1: you know, and building this movement, I've really kind of
Speaker 1: tackled and looked at everything differently because you know, the
Speaker 1: twentieth century it has not really served us well. It
Speaker 1: was the modern age and the convenient age, and nobody
Speaker 1: really channlenged your question. But is this thing healthy or
Speaker 1: safe for good for me and my family? And I
Speaker 1: think now in the twenty century, as we see an
Speaker 1: escalation in all kinds of diseases or to immune inflammation, uh, cancers, young, old, everybody,
Speaker 1: everything's getting mixed up. Um, we have to start looking
Speaker 1: at you know what we're exposing ourselves too. And frankly,
Speaker 1: everything old is new again. I say, keep it, you know,
Speaker 1: clean and simple, and keep manufacturers honest. You or purchasing
Speaker 1: power is your power and uh, you know what you
Speaker 1: buy in for that matter. What you don't buy is
Speaker 1: your vote and your protests. And you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: if we all stopped drinking, call it tonight, it's I'm
Speaker 1: making it tomorrow that fast. We don't need to know
Speaker 1: who's in the White House. We don't need to care
Speaker 1: who's in Congress. They're all middle management, beholden to big
Speaker 1: business and the ruling class elite that's so high up
Speaker 1: where the aerosode. Then they don't care about anything but
Speaker 1: weapons and slaves. Do you drink a red wine? Um?
Speaker 1: I don't drink as any anywhere near as much anymore
Speaker 1: because I am constantly managing inflammation due to the uh
Speaker 1: kind of elective removal of my appendix by my surgeon
Speaker 1: for my cancer surgery. So here's a little insight tip. Listeners.
Speaker 1: When you have to go to the hospital and get
Speaker 1: surgery and you sign that thing, yes, do whatever you
Speaker 1: think needs to be done, make sure you add to
Speaker 1: it only that directly relates to what you're doing. Because
Speaker 1: I remember in the recovery, I said, God, the right
Speaker 1: side r it's worse than the left, and the doctor
Speaker 1: it's surgeon very matter of fact. They said, oh, that's
Speaker 1: probably because we took out your appendix, and I said why,
Speaker 1: and she said, well, once we open up your abdomen,
Speaker 1: you're at risk of getting infected, so we'd rather just
Speaker 1: take it out now than have to go in again.
Speaker 1: And and you don't need it anyway. Well, fast forward
Speaker 1: eighteen years and enter my world with doctors that went
Speaker 1: to medical school, drank the kool aid, started practicing, began
Speaker 1: to get woke, realized that there's a better way, and
Speaker 1: now are reinventing the wheel of health rather than sickness. Um,
Speaker 1: the appendix is the brains of the lymphatic system. Well,
Speaker 1: they took out the brains from my lymphatic system. Mind
Speaker 1: to mind too, I'm so stressed. Wow, do you have inflammation?
Speaker 1: I just thought it was bloated. Now now you know, Brobot,
Speaker 1: I bet you a million things I connetlist that you're experiencing.
Speaker 1: Do you get sinus? Yeah, I'm I'm struggling with watery
Speaker 1: eyes and sinuses today. Wow. See that's I mean, look,
Speaker 1: that's well, it's because you don't have an appendix. So
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to double down on detoxing your life
Speaker 1: because unless you do that, your body is gonna start
Speaker 1: getting more and more congested because your lymphatic system isn't
Speaker 1: working at an optimum. Now there are ways you can
Speaker 1: support it. Dry brushing always up towards the heart down
Speaker 1: and depending on what okay end of the heart you're
Speaker 1: brushing dry brushing is very I'm sorry, what is dry brushing? Uh?
Speaker 1: You know it's like a natural kind of hard dry
Speaker 1: brush and it's made out of and you brush your skin. Yes,
Speaker 1: I just thought what was that was? Was it a
Speaker 1: real was in a real movie or no, it was
Speaker 1: it was that was like a Hollywood movie, but they
Speaker 1: were they were brushing this what I can't skin really soft.
Speaker 1: But it actually does stimulate your lymph nodes and that
Speaker 1: you're you know, the lymphatic system is you know what
Speaker 1: is your helps detoxibody. The massages, then the limp lymphatic massages,
Speaker 1: you know, definitely that wouldn't hurt. I actually, for years
Speaker 1: before I connected these thoughts, used to feel sick after
Speaker 1: that because it was actually releasing taxins. So when I'd
Speaker 1: be on vacation, I said, oh, I have a lymphatic massage,
Speaker 1: and then I'd like start to feel like Louis or something.
Speaker 1: And it's because it was releasing this stuff. So I
Speaker 1: don't really do that that much. I do other things
Speaker 1: to help detox and but it is a good thing.
Speaker 1: I do reflux oology to stimulate. Are you cancer free now? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Thank god? Eighteen years? Yeah, So you know, I was
Speaker 1: still on stage one. You know, I'm wearing a busy line,
Speaker 1: so it may sound like a speech and paname, I'm sorry, listeners,
Speaker 1: my teeth are getting so pretty. Are you still? Are
Speaker 1: you still? Like, where's your heart right now? With love?
Speaker 1: Right now? I'm not in love. I'm in love with myself.
Speaker 1: And say it's a first really, I mean like big time.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy by myself with my self and I
Speaker 1: was subsequent to the therapy, so we started briefly talking
Speaker 1: about the therapy. I went through every member of my family.
Speaker 1: I went in because my marriage was breaking up and
Speaker 1: I thought he was the problem. But then you know,
Speaker 1: I started going at everybody that I you know, in
Speaker 1: my nuclear family and peeling away all those onion skins
Speaker 1: and getting in touch with my own pain and everything
Speaker 1: like that. Then with my second marriage, when after I
Speaker 1: thought that I had figured everything out, this dude pushed
Speaker 1: so many buttons. I'm so grateful for the relationship because
Speaker 1: you know, I learned so much about myself because of him,
Speaker 1: And so I ended up going to this shaman that
Speaker 1: became like my therapist as well as kind of a
Speaker 1: holistic helper to the way I go about living my life,
Speaker 1: and uh, I found him to be very helpful. And
Speaker 1: he said, you know when you feel that feeling like
Speaker 1: you now you're they're scraping a fork in my insides
Speaker 1: because I'm in so much pain that this guy and
Speaker 1: I are fighting. He said, that's because you are filling
Speaker 1: yourself from the outside in, your filling that with people
Speaker 1: and stuff, and you know that will only satisfy you
Speaker 1: for so long. Then eventually people are going to disappoint
Speaker 1: you because they have their own stuff and stop is
Speaker 1: you know, never gonna do the trick at all, not
Speaker 1: even come close to people, But eventually you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to face the fact that you are responsible for filling you.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, well, look I have heard that
Speaker 1: my whole life. But how what what do I have
Speaker 1: to do? How can I turn this into self love?
Speaker 1: And he said, are you listening every time you get
Speaker 1: that feeling, that angst, loneliness, the oh what did I
Speaker 1: do wrong? Oh why can't he love me? Why aren't
Speaker 1: I in love? Why? It is as in somebody, all
Speaker 1: of that stuff. Every single time you don't get a job,
Speaker 1: you feel like it's the end of the world. All
Speaker 1: of that stuff you must discipline yourself to say and
Speaker 1: every time you may have to do it forty times
Speaker 1: a day in the beginning, I love you, Fran, I
Speaker 1: know how special you are. It's Fran and Fran till
Speaker 1: the end of time. Well, if I tell you just
Speaker 1: the first time I said it, it eased me, And
Speaker 1: every time I said it after that, I got closer
Speaker 1: and closer to understanding. Oh my god, this is my journey.
Speaker 1: It's not even about anybody else. Everybody that comes into
Speaker 1: it is just my opportunity on my journey of self
Speaker 1: refinement so I can become a better human being. That's it.
Speaker 1: It's like the healthy way of self soothing as opposed
Speaker 1: to looking for outside validation. Did you ever consider kids
Speaker 1: to be like? Is that something you ever strived for?
Speaker 1: For maybe that happiness or for that love? You know? No,
Speaker 1: I actually was that everybody's caregiver. Um, I really was
Speaker 1: odeed on that. I didn't even have insight to why
Speaker 1: I was surrounded by so many basket cases and I
Speaker 1: felt like I had to take care of I mean,
Speaker 1: it was totally self imposed. It's amazing how I needed
Speaker 1: to be needed. So I surrounded myself what needed people.
Speaker 1: And then when I started to realize this, you know.
Speaker 1: But but through all those years which would have been
Speaker 1: my the they likely years that I would have had
Speaker 1: a baby, Um, I thought, I cannot have one more
Speaker 1: person need me, and if anybody needs you, it's a kid,
Speaker 1: like exactly. I mean. So actually now I think I
Speaker 1: would be the best parents I ever could have been.
Speaker 1: And even now, I you know, I mean, I I think, um,
Speaker 1: you know, i'd probably maybe walk away from the business
Speaker 1: because I don't really have to work, and maybe I
Speaker 1: just kind of, you know, enjoy a village life with
Speaker 1: a kid and you know, teach them how to um
Speaker 1: be truly connected to nature and love themselves. And if
Speaker 1: you got those two things going for you, you know,
Speaker 1: your your your it's money. How can our listeners help
Speaker 1: with your charity? Thank you for asking. UM. Please go
Speaker 1: to CANCERUS minsit dot org slash summit and get tickets
Speaker 1: for my Masterclass Health Summit. Be prepared to blow your mind.
Speaker 1: It will be a game changer. You will walk away
Speaker 1: uh and you'll you'll know what to do and you
Speaker 1: won't feel helpless and you'll just be transformed forever. So
Speaker 1: that's one thing. Join It's free and you'll get all
Speaker 1: kinds of information from us, and if you can't come
Speaker 1: and support us, which ideally would be amazing, and then
Speaker 1: you could get face to face with the doctors and
Speaker 1: me um, it's going to be uh live stream online.
Speaker 1: So but again it all goes back to go to
Speaker 1: Cancer Spans at dot org and familiarize yourself with some
Speaker 1: of our programs. We have a bee that changed me
Speaker 1: and Jamie Fox did an education video uh, and it's
Speaker 1: targeting teens. They're the first generation particted to not live
Speaker 1: as long as their parents in US history, and we
Speaker 1: don't want to make that a self fulfilling prophecy. But
Speaker 1: you know, they don't vote, they don't pay taxes, therefore
Speaker 1: they don't wield a lot of power in Washington. We
Speaker 1: are empowering them because there are multi billion dollar demographic
Speaker 1: and frankly, they're not terribly discerning to advertising b s.
Speaker 1: So we're trying to wake them up to that because
Speaker 1: you know, nobody in big business really cares about them
Speaker 1: and the stuff that they are being convinced to buy
Speaker 1: because it's cool or it's gonna make them popular, it's
Speaker 1: gonna make them pretty, is actually gonna make them die
Speaker 1: young and it's not serving them well. Well, on that note,
Speaker 1: brand Dresser, we really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys, thank you so much. So I have
Speaker 1: a question for you. Do you guys ever feel like
Speaker 1: we are more divided than ever? All Right, if you're
Speaker 1: tired of hearing about all the things that separate us,
Speaker 1: you have to check out Spit. It's a new podcast
Speaker 1: from our Heart Radio with twenty three and me where
Speaker 1: they explore all things DNA and how we are all
Speaker 1: genetically alike. So the host sits down with some of
Speaker 1: the biggest artists, including John Legend, Melissa Etheridge, Pete Wentz
Speaker 1: to talk about how the world of genetic testing is
Speaker 1: changing who we are and the world's around us. So,
Speaker 1: you guys, make sure you know I love that you
Speaker 1: guys listen to this podcast. But I also encourage you
Speaker 1: guys to check out full episodes of Spit now on
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1: So I got my Thrive box in the mail the
Speaker 1: other day, um from Thrive Market, and I gotta tell you, guys,
Speaker 1: it's so nice. You know, right now it's getting a
Speaker 1: little harder to move around because I got a baby
Speaker 1: on the way, but Thrive Market makes it really, really
Speaker 1: really easy for me. It's a revolutionary online marketplace on
Speaker 1: a mission to make healthy living easy and affordable. So
Speaker 1: you can shop for thousands of the best selling non
Speaker 1: GMO foods and natural products at to fifty percent below
Speaker 1: traditional retail prices. That is huge. You can get everything
Speaker 1: you need from snacks, vitamin's, beauty products, kids stuff, organic
Speaker 1: baby food ships straight to your door. You better believe
Speaker 1: that I'm going to be using Thrive Market, especially when
Speaker 1: the baby comes out to so. Thrive Market also now
Speaker 1: offers fresh meat and seafood, so that is fantastic. More
Speaker 1: than seventy of the Thrive Market catalog cannot be found
Speaker 1: on Amazon, and trust me, I did a test because
Speaker 1: I've always loved Amazon. Well, Thrive Market offers more. Get
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Speaker 1: dot com slash Janna for off your first order and
Speaker 1: a free thirty day trial, no promo code, just thrive
Speaker 1: market dot com slash Jamna. So how about the legend
Speaker 1: freend dresser as you so well, I mean, we grew
Speaker 1: I grew up with watching I know. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That was a good perfect even you said, You're like,
Speaker 1: how how crazy was I never thought that we'd be
Speaker 1: interviewing friend dresser. I mean, I just love it. I
Speaker 1: love her voice, I love her laugh. I loved being
Speaker 1: next to her. I have a weird voice. I can
Speaker 1: resonate with her. You don't have a weird voice. It's
Speaker 1: just different some five year old. You don't sound like
Speaker 1: a five year old. I was. My whole plan was
Speaker 1: to be a CNN inchor growing up. I didn't didn't
Speaker 1: work out. It was incredible. Someone's phone started ringing and
Speaker 1: I wrote down, like, oh, I better take this out,
Speaker 1: and then she started that laugh, and I'm like, hope
Speaker 1: this is saying it. I will say I. You know,
Speaker 1: I have so much anxiety around everything. I mean when
Speaker 1: it comes to the cancer stuff, because I feel as
Speaker 1: if I'm I know what we put on our our
Speaker 1: desk or what we wash with them. The Meyer stuff
Speaker 1: is good, right, that's or definitely ganic. We have to
Speaker 1: stop using dryer sheets. But I can't everything, and I
Speaker 1: can't stop. I was gonna ask Fran and I was
Speaker 1: gonna bring up you know, our conversation with some of
Speaker 1: some of the hairs that we had a few weeks
Speaker 1: again stuff where yeah, like, at what point I understand
Speaker 1: their cancer survivors, So of course they're going to be
Speaker 1: all in, hyper nuts, hyper sensitive in a negative way,
Speaker 1: but very proactive in their life and what they put
Speaker 1: on their bodies and their bodies and so on. But
Speaker 1: for those that unfortunately do not have to suffer from that, like,
Speaker 1: I still believe in everything's okay in moderation, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? But is it though with all the
Speaker 1: stuff they're not putting in things? I mean, look at
Speaker 1: our grandparents are Our grandparents didn't have all the pesticides
Speaker 1: on things, all the things they're pumping in the chickens,
Speaker 1: all the things, you know, all the they probably didn't
Speaker 1: have as much and whatever they used for Did they
Speaker 1: even have deodor? I don't even know back then, but
Speaker 1: they did and it was air assault. It was even worse,
Speaker 1: I do know. And I only know this from experience
Speaker 1: my stepfather when I he passed away when I was
Speaker 1: twenty one, he was fifty years old. He was forty
Speaker 1: eight and a half when he was diagnosed with a
Speaker 1: brain tumor and so I kind of lived through that.
Speaker 1: He was the healthiest person. He used to go up
Speaker 1: every morning and bike twenty eight miles. He was a
Speaker 1: golfer the eighth grade. He was executive. He loved his job.
Speaker 1: He didn't he had cancer. He ended up woke up
Speaker 1: one morning with a brain tumor and it was terminal,
Speaker 1: and I took him to treatment. I took some time
Speaker 1: off of school. I took him to treatment every day.
Speaker 1: It was there was nothing we could have done. We
Speaker 1: changed everything in the house in that meantime. You know,
Speaker 1: there was nothing we could do. But is there something
Speaker 1: we could do before that? And I know what you're
Speaker 1: trying to say that that's why cancer is such a
Speaker 1: beast because you can't be eat it, like even like
Speaker 1: your your stepfather, like he lives essentially almost a perfect
Speaker 1: life life from a health standpoint, and there's still nothing
Speaker 1: you can do. There's so many people out there that
Speaker 1: suffer from that that there's like, what would you have
Speaker 1: changed your life? Nothing? Really? Maybe there is something, really,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe it is the food, Maybe it is
Speaker 1: the stuff we're putting in our system. Maybe maybe those
Speaker 1: things are the steps to take. So you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: like for example, I had to think then bar every
Speaker 1: morning I read the label and every morning I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is probably not good for me. It's not you know,
Speaker 1: an an egg with avocado on top of it. It's
Speaker 1: got stuff I can't even understand, pronounce, or say, probably
Speaker 1: shouldn't be eating that every single morning. So my sister,
Speaker 1: she is battling cancer herself right now. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Oh it's okay. It's been like, no,
Speaker 1: it's not, but it's not. But she found out she
Speaker 1: was So she found out she was pregnant and had
Speaker 1: cancer all on the same day. Um, and when did
Speaker 1: you find out? This was like about like a year
Speaker 1: and a half ago now, so she's been so the
Speaker 1: baby is how the moral of the story. But basically
Speaker 1: she had to choose the homeopathic rout because you can't
Speaker 1: do chemo with a baby. Um, so she had to
Speaker 1: go through the whole homeopathic rout and it was just
Speaker 1: like she's got a cancer, it's okay, thyroid. So she
Speaker 1: was probably stage two, stage three. So it's very very
Speaker 1: intense and um, I mean she chose to fight for
Speaker 1: her life for her baby, which was so amazing, and
Speaker 1: it just shows that there really is a way like
Speaker 1: she's still battling it, but like there's so many alternatives
Speaker 1: out there, and like for her, she's like never own
Speaker 1: a microwave, she never uses teflon. She's a nutrition as
Speaker 1: her husband is allergic to soy, so like it's so
Speaker 1: it's like one of the number one contributors to cancer.
Speaker 1: It feeds it quite literally sa much sugar. So she
Speaker 1: had to learn a lot from this, but it's like
Speaker 1: she still got it and she's like the healthiest person ever.
Speaker 1: So it's just kind of that thing where it's like
Speaker 1: life happens. But she even invesigating. She's like Eve, when
Speaker 1: you buy organic food, it's like really not that organic anymore.
Speaker 1: Our soils are just so like just filled with pesticides
Speaker 1: and toxins. So it's really hard. I think we just
Speaker 1: live in this day and a age where it's like
Speaker 1: you can just do the best you're gonna do and
Speaker 1: like things are going to happen, but there's like ways
Speaker 1: to overcome it. Which I love her story though, is
Speaker 1: that you know, sometimes it's like you really have to
Speaker 1: pay attention to your body, like your liver is so crucial.
Speaker 1: Like my sister Kylie, she realized her liver wasn't functioning,
Speaker 1: so sending all the toxins to her like your controller system,
Speaker 1: but it's like your PlayStation like controller. You can't work
Speaker 1: without it, you know. So she just had to really
Speaker 1: go through a lot. But I mean it's true. It's
Speaker 1: like telling I mean, she is an awesome story. Is
Speaker 1: just like you can't really do anything to prevent it,
Speaker 1: and like genetic speed a lot into that, and you're,
Speaker 1: I think, there's what you just said, there's there's nothing
Speaker 1: you can can do to prevent it. If there's if
Speaker 1: you're eating McDonald's cheese burn every single day, or if
Speaker 1: you're having Splendors day, then maybe isn't My sister's like
Speaker 1: I'm not going to live my whole life like fighting this,
Speaker 1: Like I want to go to breathe and like have
Speaker 1: a cook you with my kid. But it's like also
Speaker 1: tough because you're like, but you're battling this deadly beast.
Speaker 1: She can end up doing chema. So she's she's really
Speaker 1: against it. Through the research, and again, everybody does their
Speaker 1: own thing, and um, I respect that, but investigating her
Speaker 1: decision to kind of see how far she can make
Speaker 1: her body as healthy as possible before going in. Um,
Speaker 1: Western medicine does kind of compartmentalize, so for her, she
Speaker 1: was like, I want to see what is going wrong
Speaker 1: with my body before going with further things. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: she she I think she'll have to go get like surgery,
Speaker 1: maybe get it all taken out because it's getting to
Speaker 1: her lymph notes, which is like a little bit because
Speaker 1: then write what happens after thyroid goes to your lungs
Speaker 1: goes to your brain? Right? So yeah, well, I'm really
Speaker 1: sorry that you and your family and you know she's
Speaker 1: going through that. But it's crazy. I mean, we get
Speaker 1: all learned how to make our bodies healthy. And I
Speaker 1: love that she's using her story to be like, hey, guys, like,
Speaker 1: let's figure out how to make our bodies healthy. And
Speaker 1: I think that's really not Yeah, and I think to
Speaker 1: your point, Mike, it is about moderation. But I think
Speaker 1: there are things too that we could be more conscious of.
Speaker 1: That for sure. I mean, again, anyone's out there and
Speaker 1: thought about it's like what could I cut out today? Yes,
Speaker 1: but I don't want it because I like having him
Speaker 1: in the morning. They're fast, it's easy. But yes, I
Speaker 1: like Stevia in my coffee. But I see that here's
Speaker 1: and I wanted to start drinking. Well, I don't know
Speaker 1: what is I mean. I think they say they're all bad.
Speaker 1: But one of the reasons why I don't drink coffee
Speaker 1: not only because of my anxiety, I've been really craving
Speaker 1: coffee after this baby, and I was like, man, I
Speaker 1: can't wait to have a cup of coffee. But my
Speaker 1: problem is I'll put ten splendas. So I actually stopped
Speaker 1: drinking or no, I stopped in my tea too. I
Speaker 1: would do five to six slendas in my tea, I know.
Speaker 1: So I stopped doing splenda all together and then just
Speaker 1: drinking regular tea, which I did pretty well there for
Speaker 1: a minute. But I don't know if I could do
Speaker 1: that with coffee. So I don't know. It's just I
Speaker 1: think we can be more conscious, and I'm curious with
Speaker 1: the listeners out there due to live a conscious, conscious life. Um,
Speaker 1: So you can emails at Janna Cramer I heart media
Speaker 1: dot com to give us some tips. What you might
Speaker 1: have been cutting out to help without yea, what do
Speaker 1: you do instead of dryer sheets? Well, I've been using
Speaker 1: the baby Ganics for Jolie's dryer sheets. But are those good?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I just know fran Bonnie Hunt.
Speaker 1: Why what do they say about dryer sheets though? What
Speaker 1: are they? What's wrong with it? They're just so toxic
Speaker 1: and then we're you know, it goes into our clothes,
Speaker 1: and then we're putting our clothes on, we're wearing them
Speaker 1: for fourteen hours a day. But again, okay, we've talked
Speaker 1: about dryer sheets a decent amount. Okay, but that's on top,
Speaker 1: that's topical, right, that's on top of your body. And
Speaker 1: also other things we've heard is you know, putting things
Speaker 1: inside your body I would think are more important to
Speaker 1: change before dry you know, you think about deodorant. Deodorant
Speaker 1: doesn't go inside your bottom, but it soaks in your
Speaker 1: bid just something on your shirt could soak into your
Speaker 1: correct correct But that's not the fastest route to your organism,
Speaker 1: to your you know, your system. So that's all I'm
Speaker 1: saying is that my dryer sheets would probably be towards
Speaker 1: the end of things that I cut out medical summit.
Speaker 1: I just don't I'm just stressed. I'm scared. I'm stressed,
Speaker 1: And honestly, one of the things I mean not to
Speaker 1: bring up your stuff, Mike, but I because so many
Speaker 1: people that go through a tragedy or a a big
Speaker 1: event in their life if they don't, which I'm glad
Speaker 1: we've talked about our stuff, but that's like one of
Speaker 1: my scariest thing is because we've had someone that's gone
Speaker 1: through affairs and she ended up getting cancer. I think
Speaker 1: there's something to be said when you don't, when you
Speaker 1: when you hold in all your disease absolutely and I
Speaker 1: and I'm like scared. I'm like, am I going to
Speaker 1: get cancer? Because the two years that we've fought, you know,
Speaker 1: so that's always been kind of in the back of
Speaker 1: my mind, which I'm glad that I haven't, but I
Speaker 1: still hold in certain things. But then it's like everyone
Speaker 1: has again but out. But now we're doing things to
Speaker 1: alleviate those those mental stresses and stuff. And that's why
Speaker 1: I'm glad Fran said that because therapy is a huge
Speaker 1: mental aspect to alleviate problems that you might deal with
Speaker 1: that cause stress that ultimately can cause cancer. So that's
Speaker 1: taking care of yourself mentally as opposed to in addition
Speaker 1: to physically and keeping things out of your body. But
Speaker 1: you guys aren't stuffing feelings down right, we're letting them out.
Speaker 1: I think we do at times, Yeah, but at some
Speaker 1: point you're letting What are you guys doing like specifically though,
Speaker 1: to like wake up each day and like alleviate your stress,
Speaker 1: Like what do you guys do together besides therapy? Obviously
Speaker 1: it's a huge one, but communicate? Can you check in
Speaker 1: every communicate that alleviates us from the pressure and building
Speaker 1: and building and building up to our neck. It's just
Speaker 1: it's a little bit and then we let it go.
Speaker 1: Do you guys have like a code word of when
Speaker 1: you're like, hey, we need to discuss this, like I'm
Speaker 1: maxed out or something like what do you do? Like
Speaker 1: we try. We're having a hard time with that. I
Speaker 1: think we had. I think that's what's something that hopefully
Speaker 1: we'll be able to get better at. We need to
Speaker 1: learn how to table things better, and we need to
Speaker 1: learn how to check in better. No, because our chickens
Speaker 1: are great, but it's I guess it's hard to I
Speaker 1: think we do. You know what I'm saying. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to understand because I feel like we don't table things well,
Speaker 1: like table it for later. That's something that we need
Speaker 1: to get better at we do not table things while
Speaker 1: at all we've gotten better, but it's still not good
Speaker 1: because we're stubborn and we just want each other to
Speaker 1: hear our sides. Listen to me, listen to me, So
Speaker 1: we should we really read an email? So I like
Speaker 1: this one. I want kids and my husband doesn't. I'm
Speaker 1: thirty been married for five years. I'm happy for the
Speaker 1: most part, but not always. My husband is thirty six
Speaker 1: and isn't as ready for kids as I am. This
Speaker 1: worries me because part of me feels like he would
Speaker 1: be fine without having kids completely. But I'm not at
Speaker 1: all okay with us. He says he wants kids only one,
Speaker 1: though I want at least two. I'm just worried when
Speaker 1: a kid does come, which we are currently trying, he
Speaker 1: isn't going to be as involved as I will be
Speaker 1: because I am much more of a kid person. I'm
Speaker 1: a teacher in love kids. Also, how do you keep
Speaker 1: the love alive? Sometimes I feel so annoyed with my husband.
Speaker 1: Some days I wonder why marry him? Is this normal?
Speaker 1: It's so normal? Like today with our argument this morning,
Speaker 1: I just and he doing it so funny? Is I
Speaker 1: almost instagram this morning? I just want to say that
Speaker 1: I'm really annoyed with my husband right now, and it's okay.
Speaker 1: I still love him, but I'm still annoyed by him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I think it's so normal for people to be
Speaker 1: annoyed with their spouse. But I will say, you guys,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna like me every day. You're gonna love me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll always love you, but yeah, some days I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't like you every day? Why But with with
Speaker 1: with For Kelly though, and she wants kids and husband doesn't.
Speaker 1: If the husband's actually trying, and that means he at
Speaker 1: least because I know has say not at all, and
Speaker 1: they don't even try try. Isn't this a conversation they
Speaker 1: should have had before they got married. Yeah, And we're
Speaker 1: not laughing at you, Cali, We're not laughing judging at all.
Speaker 1: I just think this is something that people just assume
Speaker 1: and they're so excited to get married that they forget
Speaker 1: to have this conversation. And it is such an important conversation.
Speaker 1: It is. But I do know someone right now that
Speaker 1: they did not. They both were very strong and adamant
Speaker 1: they do not want kids. Well, now six years later,
Speaker 1: she wants kids and he doesn't like I've always told
Speaker 1: I told you I do not want kids. She's like,
Speaker 1: you have to defend him in that case because they
Speaker 1: have that as that discussion. If she wasn't authentic from
Speaker 1: the beginning, no, but she was she did not want kids. Well,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. I mean, it's okay to change your mind.
Speaker 1: I think it is because you have to accept the
Speaker 1: fact that he maybe is not going to be on
Speaker 1: that same pat What doesn't mean they need to go something.
Speaker 1: I mean if if Michael, if we had gotten married
Speaker 1: and he said, you know, I don't want we said
Speaker 1: we don't want kids, and I change my mind and
Speaker 1: he says, well, actually I have a great one. My girlfriend,
Speaker 1: she was married, he didn't want to have kids. She
Speaker 1: ended up divorcing him because she's like, I will forever
Speaker 1: regret not having a kid. I will regret I will
Speaker 1: be um, what's the word like resentful towards him. And
Speaker 1: so she left and she ended up adopting. Okay, So, Kelly,
Speaker 1: you need to investigate if your husband is going to
Speaker 1: change his mind where he said he wants. He said
Speaker 1: he wants kids, only one though she wants to. Now
Speaker 1: they're trying like you said, Janna, obviously he wants you
Speaker 1: because they're trying to have one. If you have one,
Speaker 1: and she's worried about him not being an active parent
Speaker 1: and present parent. I'm optimistic that that will change once
Speaker 1: he feels that love and compassion for this human being
Speaker 1: that he helped create, because once you have a child,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's when you really understand unconditional love
Speaker 1: on a whole new level. But there's no guarantee because
Speaker 1: and I may be single parent right for four years,
Speaker 1: and if he really doesn't want one, then it's like
Speaker 1: there is no guarantee. And that's why I made sure
Speaker 1: to choose my wordy incorrectly, not say positive or guarantee.
Speaker 1: You I said, I'm optimistic, hopefully, hopefully that he would
Speaker 1: be that way. Should we read another one? Okay, so
Speaker 1: you guys we have we have one from Anonymous. I
Speaker 1: know why anonymous is anonymous? Most speech man of honor
Speaker 1: speech for a groom I don't like a man, right
Speaker 1: because oh it is. It's a matron of honor, so
Speaker 1: she's actually married. Matron of honor means that she's married.
Speaker 1: I mean, we've all experienced this once in our life, right,
Speaker 1: So I'm about to be matron of honor in my
Speaker 1: very best friend's wedding, but I hate the room. It's
Speaker 1: a capitalized h. Have to capitalize hate. Yeah, I do
Speaker 1: not think he's good for her, but she has set
Speaker 1: in her ways and that's who she's choosing. It sucks.
Speaker 1: But if she's happy, I am too. That's not true.
Speaker 1: But how the hell do you write an m O
Speaker 1: H speech when I can't find one nice thing to
Speaker 1: say about him? The whole speech will just be how
Speaker 1: much I love my best friend. And that's fine. That's
Speaker 1: totally fine. That's it. She answered her own question. Just
Speaker 1: make it about your making about the bride and how
Speaker 1: much you love her, and how happy you are that
Speaker 1: she's happy, that she's happy. And again when you said
Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't think she is, I think
Speaker 1: you know. You still want your best friend to be happy.
Speaker 1: I hated my and my my my girlfriend, Amy love
Speaker 1: her to death. I hated her boyfriend for like the
Speaker 1: where we even weren't we couldn't even be friends because
Speaker 1: he hated me. I hated it, like it's just it
Speaker 1: was just bad. No, No, she's engaged to a lovely guy,
Speaker 1: like she's getting married next year. I'm so happy for
Speaker 1: but there's a point where it's like, if she's happy,
Speaker 1: you have to just accept. But it's it's it's sometimes
Speaker 1: gonna be so hard that it's just you can't even.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been at a wedding where you know
Speaker 1: this will not work? My own wedding? Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: a bridesmaid in a wedding and I remember just standing
Speaker 1: up there in a terribly ugly bridesmaid dress just thinking,
Speaker 1: this will never last, this is a waste of time.
Speaker 1: Not you know, I haven't besides mine, not Michael's the
Speaker 1: other one. Um, besides that, I haven't. The ones that
Speaker 1: I've been at, I really truly felt like they would
Speaker 1: stay together, and they have so far. What about and
Speaker 1: your friends? All all my friends. I definitely gonna make
Speaker 1: it fingers crossed so hard, but like they some will,
Speaker 1: some won't. Yeah, I heard it now, Drop Duddy that
Speaker 1: came out that said Jane and I single handily raised marriages.
Speaker 1: Are they do it like it's not? It's a forty
Speaker 1: percent or something, And then their article had like a
Speaker 1: million reasons as to why and because nobody's getting married,
Speaker 1: I think the people are getting married later so that
Speaker 1: becomes a thing. And then also um marriages down there
Speaker 1: may be marrying smarter and then they just don't want
Speaker 1: to get divorced and split the money. So I think
Speaker 1: they just live miserably fantastic, so much fun that's on
Speaker 1: trend right now, just staying together and being unhappy hashtag
Speaker 1: miserable miserable. No, no, no no. So I just was
Speaker 1: traveling this past week, and let me tell you, I
Speaker 1: walked around trying to find a cord to plug my
Speaker 1: phone in for at least twenty minutes. It was so frustrating.
Speaker 1: I ended up having to walk way past my gate.
Speaker 1: And now I'm so excited because I get to talk
Speaker 1: to you guys about away luggage. So it's first class
Speaker 1: luggage at a coach price. What's so great about it
Speaker 1: is that you can charge anything that has a USB cord.
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Speaker 1: by USB cord, It's going to be charged by your
Speaker 1: away luggage. It's a hundred day trial. Live with It,
Speaker 1: Vibe with It, travel with it Instagram. If you don't
Speaker 1: like it, you return it free refront. So how cool
Speaker 1: is that? Again? It's so nice a single charge of
Speaker 1: the away carry on will charge your iPhone five times
Speaker 1: and you can sit perfectly at your gate, not trying
Speaker 1: to find a freaking outlet for your devices. So for
Speaker 1: twenty dollars off the suitcase, visit away travel dot com.
Speaker 1: Slash Janna and use promo code Janna during checkout. That's
Speaker 1: a way travel dot Com. Slash Janna and enter Janna.
Speaker 1: For twenty dollars off away travel dot Com, slash Janna
Speaker 1: and enter Janna. Yes, Darling, I'd love for you to
Speaker 1: read this one. I've just gotten a brief all right.
Speaker 1: This is from anonymous emotionally abusive boyfriend. Today's my five
Speaker 1: year anniversary with my boy friend Shane. Sorry she's anonymous.
Speaker 1: Well he's now. That's normally a good thing that makes
Speaker 1: people happy to say, But today I'm feeling extremely defeated.
Speaker 1: I'm currently sleeping in my car as I write this
Speaker 1: email to you. I had helped his parents clean up
Speaker 1: a bathroom had overflooded with poop water from their septic
Speaker 1: being full. So once I cleaned up, I asked him
Speaker 1: for some cuddles. When I asked for some time with him,
Speaker 1: he said, I give you attention all the time. I
Speaker 1: see you all the time. I want time to my
Speaker 1: effing self. Oh uh. And last week I was suffering
Speaker 1: extreme from extremely bad migraines, to the point I blacked
Speaker 1: out behind the wheel almost struck a telephone pole. I
Speaker 1: decided it wasn't a good idea for me to be
Speaker 1: driving anymore and made an appointment to see my g P.
Speaker 1: His response was, I'm not waiting an hour for you
Speaker 1: to see your doctor. So I had to find another
Speaker 1: family member to get me to my appointment and take
Speaker 1: me home after. Why are you still with him? So
Speaker 1: I sit so currently, I sit bundled in my car
Speaker 1: with a blanket pillow in my central needs to make
Speaker 1: it through the week. I haven't received a text or
Speaker 1: own call from him. My question is when is it
Speaker 1: time to throw in the towel? Now? I know I've
Speaker 1: been dealing with emotional abuse for him from him for years,
Speaker 1: and I've accepted that's just who he is. But I'm
Speaker 1: constantly torn between giving up and fighting for him, because,
Speaker 1: as as we always hear, when you're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to give up easily. But when is
Speaker 1: it time? I'm so lost and confused and don't know
Speaker 1: what to do if I was to leave him, I
Speaker 1: have nowhere to go, Okay, I just need to start
Speaker 1: because i'm My first response is to cry because I
Speaker 1: remember sitting in my car from my abusive relationship with
Speaker 1: my X, and I remember being like, when is it time?
Speaker 1: And that was I still stayed with him a year
Speaker 1: after that, and because I was like, I have nowhere
Speaker 1: to go, I have no money, He's in control of everything.
Speaker 1: I I need him. Because they make you feel like
Speaker 1: you need them, they totally manipulate you into thinking that
Speaker 1: you're the problem. You're it's all your fault. You're not
Speaker 1: good enough. You're never going to find someone good enough.
Speaker 1: I promise you there is a better guy for you
Speaker 1: than Shane, because how he's making you feel is just
Speaker 1: is so uncalled for. It's but I feel bad, you know,
Speaker 1: saying leave now, because I remember being in that situation
Speaker 1: and not having the strength or the willpower to leave.
Speaker 1: So I feel like a hypocrite saying now, leave now
Speaker 1: because I didn't. So that makes me like a huge
Speaker 1: hypocrite because I stayed in it way longer than's been
Speaker 1: through it, so you know, right, But I also know
Speaker 1: where she's at and it's going to take her time
Speaker 1: unless she has like the really truly the power to
Speaker 1: realize that she deserves better and she like it's I mean,
Speaker 1: it took me to him trying to kill me to
Speaker 1: get out of my relationship, and I still slept with
Speaker 1: him two nights after he's tried to kill me. But
Speaker 1: don't you wish you would have? And awful, I just
Speaker 1: can't share that. But yeah, but that's how, that's how.
Speaker 1: What did they make you feel? But if you could
Speaker 1: have gone back to then and you knew someone who
Speaker 1: went through a very similar situation, they told you that
Speaker 1: they contemplated it, we weren't sure and struggled with the decision,
Speaker 1: but then ultimately made it and it turned out okay.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you like to hear that story? And here, if
Speaker 1: I could and go back, I would have left then.
Speaker 1: I don't think I would have left. I still don't
Speaker 1: because when when she says, because she goes right here,
Speaker 1: I'd have nowhere to go, and you feel helpless? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and because I had, I because I he made me
Speaker 1: feel like I had nowhere to go, which and all,
Speaker 1: and I'm saying to this anonymous, you do have a
Speaker 1: place to go. You have hopefully you have your family,
Speaker 1: but I was. My mom didn't know that I was
Speaker 1: secretly married to this guy. My friends didn't know I
Speaker 1: really truly had. And when I did go somewhere, I was,
Speaker 1: you know, they didn't want me talking to the person.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, you don't understand, Like it's just we
Speaker 1: just had a fight. No it's not. So that's what's like,
Speaker 1: you have you have to get to that point yourself
Speaker 1: and where we can tell you to leave, and when
Speaker 1: you say, like when is it time? That he doesn't
Speaker 1: sound like he's willing to change and for and then
Speaker 1: I look at our situation. I should have left a
Speaker 1: million times too, but when things kept happening, but I
Speaker 1: stuck around to see if you would change, and eventually
Speaker 1: you did, thank god. But it's still a cycle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there's still there is progression through our story, right
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So it wasn't just like
Speaker 1: woke up one day and everything is different. Is progression
Speaker 1: is both of us learning how to deal with things
Speaker 1: and be different in our own way. And if he's
Speaker 1: not trying, if he's not showing any progression and given anything,
Speaker 1: which from the email he hasn't, then it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: he's twenty seven. I imagine she's around the same age.
Speaker 1: She's not as young as you were when you were
Speaker 1: going through this, So that's true, you know what I mean. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a little smarter, maybe has a little bit more
Speaker 1: stability hopefully. Um So, I mean, in our opinion, in
Speaker 1: my opinion, it's time to go. Jen, you agree, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think she needs to work on herself for and
Speaker 1: find her voice, and I think she's probably in a
Speaker 1: really insecure place and it's going to take her time
Speaker 1: she has to leave. It's just miserable. And what the
Speaker 1: positive of this is they're not married, they don't have
Speaker 1: kids exactly, twenties, like, you got so much ahead of you,
Speaker 1: so much to enjoy, You deserve to being a loving relationship,
Speaker 1: so much to enjoy, so much to be optimistic about. Yes,
Speaker 1: you spent five the last five years of your life,
Speaker 1: a lot of growing years in your mid twenties, right,
Speaker 1: that's when you grow a lot. But you've got nothing
Speaker 1: but time on your side now. Well, I hope she
Speaker 1: leaves because it just breaks my heart for her. Anonymous,
Speaker 1: get back to get back to us, let us know, Um,
Speaker 1: I love you guys, thanks for winding down. I'm kind
Speaker 1: of upset right now, so I'm just gonna end this episode.
Speaker 1: Love you, guys. Ki