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Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast

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Speaker 1: wine Down Monday. Hey, um, Jen and we were just

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Speaker 1: talking about how we wake up. I know, I woke

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Speaker 1: up this morning and I looked at Instagram. That's how

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Speaker 1: did you see my post? That's not actually didn't see

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Speaker 1: your post, but that is the very first thing I did.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I wonder if anyone commented on sprinkle

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Speaker 1: we had, But what did you Well? I posted something

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Speaker 1: this morning, and it always puts me in the front.

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Speaker 1: How you start your first five minutes of your day

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Speaker 1: really sets the whole groundwork for the entire day. It

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Speaker 1: sets the whole tone. If you start off going this

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Speaker 1: Monday awful, what's going to happen? You're going to get

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Speaker 1: out of bed, get in the shower, get on your

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Speaker 1: spin bike, whatever you're doing. Whatever you're doing you're spinning, think, well,

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Speaker 1: that's what I did. So I posted something this morning.

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Speaker 1: It was Sometimes we forget how magical it is just

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Speaker 1: to wake up in the morning, take a breath, wiggle

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Speaker 1: your toes and open your droopy eyes and take a

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Speaker 1: moment to feel some gratitude that you're alive and that

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Speaker 1: you get to live this amazing day. Also, you are

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Speaker 1: exchanging a day of your life for whatever you do today,

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Speaker 1: So it's important to really set the tone and be positive.

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Speaker 1: But no matter what's going on, wouldn't that be great

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Speaker 1: if you could actually be regimented in that kind of mindset?

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Speaker 1: You have to train. You have to train yourself. Well,

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Speaker 1: Mike and I woke up and thought, this morning that

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Speaker 1: was fun Well, that is not a good way to

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Speaker 1: start the tone. What did you guys fight about? Well,

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Speaker 1: let me just say it's really funny because what we

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Speaker 1: thought about. He just asked me coming in the exact

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Speaker 1: same thing, and I go, and I go in my head,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm gonna save that for the podcast

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Speaker 1: because I said, this morning, are you okay? And it

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Speaker 1: turned into a complete s show. You're welcome Easton for

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Speaker 1: not having to blue that. But then when we walked

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Speaker 1: down the stairs going to record this podcast, goes what's wrong?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, nothing, honey, But I was like,

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Speaker 1: we just got into a huge fight because you got

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Speaker 1: mad at me for asking you what's wrong? But yet

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Speaker 1: I just so here. I always said we were last

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Speaker 1: week we were gonna talk about therapy. You have a

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Speaker 1: therapy moment right now. Details. So what did you just see?

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Speaker 1: How you how hypocritical you just were? Trust me. As

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Speaker 1: soon as I said, I was like, let me just

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Speaker 1: take it back. But see how easy it is to

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Speaker 1: when you see something. So this morning when I saw him,

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Speaker 1: he had woken up earlier. Uh he woke up about

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Speaker 1: an hour earlier than me. And you know, Jolie was

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Speaker 1: she's in this mood where she just wants her the

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Speaker 1: first thing she wants in the morning is to wear

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Speaker 1: a dress. And it's just if you you don't put

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Speaker 1: a dress on her, then it's a complete just it's

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Speaker 1: it's a nightmare. She screams, it's it's very frustrating. So

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Speaker 1: but you know, we had to get her ready for

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Speaker 1: school as it was a little chillier this morning, and

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Speaker 1: we don't wouldn't want to put her in a dress,

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Speaker 1: So a little bit of a thing there, but we

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Speaker 1: we kind of were like passing and I just said, hey,

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Speaker 1: are you okay, and he was like yeah, I'm just

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Speaker 1: walking into the bathroom and I was like, oh okay,

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Speaker 1: Like um sorry, Like I didn't meet I just was

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Speaker 1: asking if you were okay, Like I'm sorry. It just

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Speaker 1: came from nowhere where I was just like kind of

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Speaker 1: walking by a straight face walking to bath and get something.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh, you okay. I'm like yeah, I'm I'm fine.

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Speaker 1: I'm just going through the morning. And then it was

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Speaker 1: that was one thing. The second thing was we were

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Speaker 1: all going to drop Jolie off together and then she

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Speaker 1: was going to go somewhere before we came here, and

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Speaker 1: Julie and I started walking out the door and I

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Speaker 1: like halfway closed the front door. She's like, oh, are

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Speaker 1: you gonna wait for us? I don't know. I just

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Speaker 1: said I said, hey, are you going to wait for me?

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Speaker 1: Because I still had to go in the kitchen. But

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Speaker 1: he just was so already mad that I asked the

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Speaker 1: question before that he kind of already shut me off.

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Speaker 1: And then I go, you know what, bab, why don't

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Speaker 1: you just take Jolia to school? And he's like, no,

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Speaker 1: come on, let's go. He's like I'm like no, I

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Speaker 1: can tell you're frustrated. And now he's I'm fine, I'm fine.

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Speaker 1: I'm like you were hid and I was like I'm fine.

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Speaker 1: I was like I can't go outside with Joliana. But

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Speaker 1: that right there, that tone is what gets me, like,

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Speaker 1: an't if I ask you if you're okay, okay, but well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You just seem like you were like,

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Speaker 1: but why why can't you just be like, of course

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Speaker 1: and then that be it? But why do you have

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Speaker 1: to ask? Why does it matter? I love everything about this,

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Speaker 1: but it's so fascinating because this is like so many

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Speaker 1: people can relate to this, And what I've learned is

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Speaker 1: it's perspective you can I had a thing recently where

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Speaker 1: three people told me the same story. They were all

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Speaker 1: together and witnessed the same event, and they each told

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Speaker 1: it to me differently, And I think that's what's happening.

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Speaker 1: Mike perceived what Janna was asking in a completely different

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Speaker 1: way than you intended it. You misinterpreted the tone, But

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Speaker 1: I said, but I just don't understand why he couldn't

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Speaker 1: have just been like, yeah, I want to know, why

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Speaker 1: are you okay? Triggered you well, and so he comes

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Speaker 1: so so okay, So then time out, So then he

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Speaker 1: leaves because are you because I'm like when he when

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Speaker 1: he responds in that way, I'm just like, clearly you're

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Speaker 1: not okay, and I can't get to wherever you're at

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Speaker 1: right now. And Jolie's sitting like standing there. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: please just take her to school, Please take her to school. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, he leaves, takes her to school, and he

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Speaker 1: comes back and I'm waiting for my uber and you know,

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Speaker 1: he comes in and he says, Michael, I say that

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Speaker 1: I can embraced hers and give me a hug. I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that, you know, if my reaction could be

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Speaker 1: pre sensitive at times, it's just my kind of your

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Speaker 1: saying my interpretation like how that makes me feel when

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Speaker 1: it's kind of we're just getting our days started. I'm

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Speaker 1: still trying to wake up, and I'm just kind of

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Speaker 1: walking through the bedroom. And after you know, fifteen minutes

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Speaker 1: of us being up together, I here are you okay?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, God, the day just started, Like yeah, I'm fine?

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Speaker 1: Like why am I being questioned so triggered by are

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Speaker 1: you okay? Did you guys used to have that be

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Speaker 1: my whole thing? Like what I told her is my

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Speaker 1: whole issues with not feeling good enough are so ingrained

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Speaker 1: in me that if I here, are you okay? That

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Speaker 1: triggers me to think, am I not acting like I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to be acting? Am I not doing what you

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Speaker 1: need to me to be doing? And so I'm like,

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Speaker 1: should I be doing something else? And then I'm all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden not confident in what I'm doing in

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Speaker 1: that moment. Again, it goes in, it goes in phases.

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Speaker 1: I'm not like that every single day seven It's just

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Speaker 1: some certain times are more sensitive than others. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why, it's just I am So then, what's the

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Speaker 1: difference between you asking me when you see my face

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Speaker 1: when we're walking down here, when you ask me if

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Speaker 1: I'm okay? How how is could you say? How contradicted

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Speaker 1: struggling we're walking? No? I wasn't at that point. So interesting,

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Speaker 1: Like I know that it's like you guys are like

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Speaker 1: dealing with it emotionally, but for an outsider, it's so

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Speaker 1: fascinating to see the way people interact men and women.

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Speaker 1: And then here's my question for you guys. After the

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Speaker 1: hug and he said, I'm sorry, are you able to

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Speaker 1: let it go and move forward? Because my problem is

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Speaker 1: I will hold onto it for a day and a

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Speaker 1: half and I cannot let it go. So that's how

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Speaker 1: we used to. We used to not We used to

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Speaker 1: not be able to rebound as quick. Now we're able

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Speaker 1: to rebound faster but it's still inside of me right now.

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Speaker 1: Like I walked in being like, why is it okay?

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Speaker 1: If I just ask you a simple question? Why do

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Speaker 1: you get so why do you have to go straight

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Speaker 1: to your I'm not good enough, I'm not this. I

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Speaker 1: just asked a freaking question and wondering if my husband's okay?

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Speaker 1: Why why does it have to be? Like why do

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Speaker 1: you have to go into year? What gave you the

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Speaker 1: inclination to ask me if I was okay this morning?

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Speaker 1: You just seemed annoyed. You seemed quiet and annoyed, and

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe it was Jolie, maybe it was you

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Speaker 1: were in your head. I don't know, But why is it?

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Speaker 1: Why is it wrong of your wife to ask you

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Speaker 1: if you're okay or not. I'm not saying it's wrong.

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Speaker 1: I never said it was wrong. And you went straight

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Speaker 1: into your stuff and then took it out. Is it

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Speaker 1: not a man woman thing? Because if Jannah asked me,

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Speaker 1: I would be like, you're so sweet for caring and

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Speaker 1: being so like intuitive into seeing my body language. And

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Speaker 1: men hate that s they don't want women diggy. So

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Speaker 1: I was married to someone for a really long time

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Speaker 1: who was the worst morning person on the planet, and

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Speaker 1: I'm a morning person. I wake up happy. I'm so

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Speaker 1: excited a SpongeBob, and so is Rocko. He hops off,

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Speaker 1: good morning. So I would walk around the house and

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Speaker 1: I would be walking on eggshells because the energy was

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Speaker 1: so dark and so frustrated and so angry. And I

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Speaker 1: learned I would say, hey, everything okay, everything sucks. The

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Speaker 1: world's dark, you know, like he was just so angry

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Speaker 1: and so frustrated in the morning. And it's really hard.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm with somebody who doesn't mind if I ask

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Speaker 1: are you okay? And it's a totally different experience, it

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Speaker 1: really is. I think are you okay is just one

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Speaker 1: step from we need to talk? It is you're right.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh now I have to open up. Great,

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Speaker 1: now we're you know, I have to pull out my emotions.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just wondering if you were in your head

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Speaker 1: and the energy that Janna was getting was kind of

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Speaker 1: like closed up, and that's probably why are you? Like

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Speaker 1: are you okay? And maybe the tone was just you know,

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Speaker 1: it was a completely just misinterpreted that's it. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think it's just it was just a miss in general.

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Speaker 1: I see. I just I think there are times when

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Speaker 1: you when when he is just fine and I do

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Speaker 1: just ask a simple and you know, and I'm missing

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Speaker 1: the situation. But I just feel like today there was

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Speaker 1: something that you weren't that you were frustrated, that you

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Speaker 1: weren't just okay and walking into the bathroom. Because the

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Speaker 1: response that you gave back to me was so like

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Speaker 1: just so like like just so annoyed at me that

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Speaker 1: I was like, there, this didn't just come out of nowhere.

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Speaker 1: But I understand that, and I'm sorry that that your

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Speaker 1: first reaction is to feel like you're not good enough,

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Speaker 1: because I don't want you to feel like you're not

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Speaker 1: good enough. I think it was, Yeah, it was Joey

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Speaker 1: was being a pain this morning. I was just kind

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Speaker 1: of waking up from the day. So your wife asking

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Speaker 1: you a question on top of it, It's like, I

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Speaker 1: just want to process this myself and get through it

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Speaker 1: and I'll be okay and you know, and I'll have

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Speaker 1: my emotions and I'll be fine. You want to take, yeah,

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Speaker 1: just give me something, okay. So my mom called me

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Speaker 1: the other day and she said, what do you want

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Speaker 1: me to do with all these photos? She said, she

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Speaker 1: has so many photos of my ice skating videos. She's

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Speaker 1: got photos of me when I was a little girl

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Speaker 1: in school, and I started to think. I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: they've all just been sitting in the garage for so long.

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Speaker 1: How cool would it be if we had something where

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Speaker 1: we can put it all together. Well, I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to tell you guys that there is a perfect solution.

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Speaker 1: It's called the Legacy Box. So you send your Legacy

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Speaker 1: Box filled with old home movies and pictures and they

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Speaker 1: will do the rest. You guys. They professionally digitize your

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Speaker 1: moments onto a thumb drive, digital download or DVD. It's

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Speaker 1: really easy to follow instructions and safety barcodes included for

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Speaker 1: each item. You receive all your original recorded moments back,

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Speaker 1: along with perfectly preserved digital copies. Legacy Boxes the world's largest,

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Speaker 1: most trusted digitizer of home movies and photos. Over four

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Speaker 1: families have trusted Legacy Box. Okay, so I need you

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Speaker 1: guys to go to Legacy box dot com slash Janna

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Speaker 1: to get forty percent off your first order or save

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Speaker 1: up to two dollars. I'm the largest Legacy Box kit.

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Speaker 1: Go to Legacy box dot com slash Janna and say

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Speaker 1: forty today get started preserving your past. Alright, So I'm

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Speaker 1: not on my period yet because I've still got a

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Speaker 1: baby in my belly. But when the baby comes out

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Speaker 1: and I start my period again, I'm really truly excited

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Speaker 1: to use Lola because I have a few friends like

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Speaker 1: Jen who use Lola. And it's so great because I

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Speaker 1: feel like, whenever I go to the store, I don't

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Speaker 1: want just so many of the supers, are so many

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Speaker 1: of the regular tampons, or these many pads. What's so

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Speaker 1: great about Lola is that it shows up exactly when

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Speaker 1: your time of the month is, so you know that, hey,

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Speaker 1: it's coming for you. And you can customize how many

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Speaker 1: you want, so you can say I want this many super,

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Speaker 1: this many regular, this many thin, or if you want pads.

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Speaker 1: Lola is founded by women for women. So for forty

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Speaker 1: percent off all subscriptions, visit my Lola dot com and

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Speaker 1: entered Janna. When you subscribe, that's my Lola dot com

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Speaker 1: and entered Janna for forty percent off all subscriptions Lola

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Speaker 1: dot Com promo code Janna. So we have an absolute

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Speaker 1: legend that just walked into our studio, a total legend.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I mean, I don't even feel like I

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Speaker 1: have to introduce you with now your voice everyone knows

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Speaker 1: here you ladies and gentlemen, please welcome for a dress.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you, happy to be here.

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Speaker 1: So um, Sorry, my husband, I kind of got into

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Speaker 1: an argument it this morning was so big my opinion.

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Speaker 1: I think I think we've I think we've cleared it

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Speaker 1: for now. We're going to table it at the moment

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Speaker 1: because we really are just so excited that you're in

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Speaker 1: studio with us today. Thank you so much for taking

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Speaker 1: the time to be here. And we were talking about

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Speaker 1: how we start our mornings, and I loved you were

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Speaker 1: talking to producer Amy Amy earlier about how you start

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Speaker 1: your mornings, and I start mine terribly. I look straight

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Speaker 1: at Instagram, which is the worst possible thing to do,

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Speaker 1: because I immediately just like my life socks. These people's

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Speaker 1: are better like. And then but you you start your

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Speaker 1: morning feeding chickens. No, not well, no, I said, the animals. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's my tropical fish. My dog and I have some

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Speaker 1: wild birds so that live on you know, on the

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Speaker 1: house and on the property. So yeah, that's my great pleasure.

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Speaker 1: When I first get up, I put on my champ music.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to wear clothes. I just like to

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Speaker 1: kind of beat chill and naked and walk around. Do

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Speaker 1: you walk around butt naked? That's amazing? I love that stick.

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Speaker 1: You know, once I get home, if I'm by myself,

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Speaker 1: and even where I live, don't you get cold? Well,

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Speaker 1: if I'm called, then I put on Okay, having a

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Speaker 1: huge assortment of robes. So yeah, it's just so this

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Speaker 1: is so like nostalgic for us. I feel like because

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Speaker 1: I grew up watching The Nanny, it was one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite shows. Why have they not rebooted that show yet? No? Actually,

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Speaker 1: and mean it was like it was a huge success something,

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Speaker 1: but it isn't a reboot, but um, you know, you

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Speaker 1: never know, something may happen. It seems like something that

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Speaker 1: the fans would like, and uh, they certainly know where

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Speaker 1: to find me. But you know, recently I've been thinking

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Speaker 1: more about it, and I think that if I come

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Speaker 1: up with the right hook, yeah, I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: a That's the theme nowadays is kind of bringing back

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Speaker 1: older shows and kind of bringing the Murphy Browns that

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Speaker 1: those those worked, So it's like why not you know

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Speaker 1: in cable, I feel like needs that. Well for me,

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Speaker 1: it would have to be really like you need Cardi

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Speaker 1: b is what you said, Well, that would make it

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Speaker 1: for me. I can all come together and make sense

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Speaker 1: and be fresh and everything like that, and she would

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Speaker 1: be the nanny. I'd be some mom I SYLVI are

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Speaker 1: in this version, Um, and get some sexy Latino to

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Speaker 1: play my husband warning the perfect and then get like

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Speaker 1: some Obama type to be Mr Sheffield. Fine, I love it,

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Speaker 1: like a totally fresh version. But um, but you know,

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Speaker 1: if it doesn't make my hearts sing, then you know

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm always writing, I'm always producing, I'm always doing things.

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Speaker 1: And my organization, Cancers MANCA, keeps me very busy to

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Speaker 1: do and that really makes my hearts sing. You know,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I got famous. I got cancer and

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Speaker 1: I live to talk about it. And I'm talking and

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Speaker 1: I think that we have cancers. MANCA movement is really

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Speaker 1: making a debt, like we're really changing the way people think.

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Speaker 1: And this year at our Health Summit at Dorothy Chandler

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Speaker 1: Pavilion on October, the theme is how you live equals

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Speaker 1: how you feel, So we really want to connect those

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Speaker 1: thoughts for people to really start. If you don't feel great,

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Speaker 1: you gotta look at how you're living. It's always because

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Speaker 1: of that, so very rarely is it because of anything else.

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Speaker 1: Environmental what you you know, And we have a very

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Speaker 1: progressive program called Detox your Home because the home is

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Speaker 1: the most toxic place we spend the most time and

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Speaker 1: and ironically have the most control over. So start there

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Speaker 1: with the in on and around your challenge. What are

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Speaker 1: you eating all of your personal carer items? What are

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Speaker 1: you cleaning gardening with? Just kind of start with that,

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Speaker 1: and you would be amazed if you just decided I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to do industrial farm foods anymore because that's

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Speaker 1: just full of agri chemicals that are not serving anyone

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Speaker 1: well but the aggri chemical companies. And you know, can

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Speaker 1: you start with stuff like that? And then you gotta

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Speaker 1: look at what's your toothpaste? Does it say do not

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Speaker 1: swallow or quote poison control? It's like do not use that?

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Speaker 1: Never looked at started So her said, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: she's we have a three year old almost three year

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Speaker 1: old daughter, and I was reading it says do not swallow,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, maybe we should we need to

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Speaker 1: get her like better toothpaste because she swallows it. Tooth

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Speaker 1: bays should be like food. Man, if you kind of

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Speaker 1: put stuff in your mouth that's toxic. The food. The

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Speaker 1: mouth is the gateway to everything. People don't even realize.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you can't get you know, like root canals.

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Speaker 1: That's not good. You get extractions. You have to be

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Speaker 1: so careful you're with the right person because if you

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Speaker 1: get cavitation in the drawline from a back moler, you

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Speaker 1: know you're asking for breast cancer. There's so many things

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Speaker 1: when you if you have skin problems, you know you'll

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Speaker 1: go to a germatologist and they're trying to give you

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Speaker 1: stuff to suppress the symptom that's showing up in your skin,

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Speaker 1: when really nobody is looking at hormones or or liver.

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Speaker 1: Skin is liver, brain is gut. If you have brain

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Speaker 1: fog any, you know, dementia, Parkinson's, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, look

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Speaker 1: at your freaking gut. The gut is and you know,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of fun. It's fun. It's fun. The

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Speaker 1: universe is constantly presenting us with opportunities to, uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: journey on this journey of self refinement. That's the only

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Speaker 1: reason why we're here is so that our souls can

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Speaker 1: become more refined. And get more woke. How you've been

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Speaker 1: battling cancer for two years? Uh no, I am eighteen years.

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Speaker 1: Well it took my two years and eight doctors to

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Speaker 1: get a proper diagnosis. So that's is that my phone?

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Speaker 1: Nok ah? Where it is? Ladies and gentlemen, do you

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Speaker 1: I do people just come up to you and ask

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Speaker 1: you to laugh? Yes, they do. I call that my

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Speaker 1: seal act. Is it just kind of like and you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's uh, you know, my voice is very

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Speaker 1: distinctive and thank god I found the way to monetize it.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you that. But my mom was once

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Speaker 1: being interviewed and they said, did she have a funny

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Speaker 1: voice when she was a kid, And in a very

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Speaker 1: similar voice, she said, we never knew she had a

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Speaker 1: funny voice. I'm not as unique in Queens, but it

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Speaker 1: still is unusual even in Flushing. Was it hard though, too?

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Speaker 1: Did you feel like typecasted because of it? After the Nanny?

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Speaker 1: You know? I mean I was. I wasn't mad at

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Speaker 1: the typecasting at the time because I felt like I

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Speaker 1: was in a groove with uh, like when I first

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Speaker 1: started the shows that were on TV. Was welcome back

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Speaker 1: cod happy days, laverneon Shirley and then my first movie

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Speaker 1: was Saturday Night Fever, so I kind of slipped right

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Speaker 1: in and then you know, I, you know, being funny,

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Speaker 1: pretty young with a funny voice, you know, that was

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Speaker 1: my sweet spot and I you know, it was. It's

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Speaker 1: good to be specific in this business. You know, not

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Speaker 1: everyone can be Meryl Street and the rest of everybody

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Speaker 1: who's non specific. You know, I think I have a

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Speaker 1: heart of time. You can be the greatest actor in

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Speaker 1: the world and basically go unnoticed. But if you're you know,

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Speaker 1: if you have stark quality, then maybe you'll be noticed.

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Speaker 1: And maybe not. Everybody wants to be a celebrity. You

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Speaker 1: know a lot of actors are really shy and they

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Speaker 1: just want to be serious actors. But you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't know if problem being a celebrity. I like,

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Speaker 1: you know, leveraging my celebrity for the greater good, which

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Speaker 1: it looks like you've done with all your cancer sponsor

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Speaker 1: and you know, outspoken you are about things that you've

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Speaker 1: been through, something that Janna and I talked about a

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Speaker 1: lot on here were big advocates for therapy, personal therapy,

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Speaker 1: A couple of therapy. I love it. What is it?

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Speaker 1: How has that like helped you kind of overcome things

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Speaker 1: in your life? For just do you still see a

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Speaker 1: therapist to this day? I kind of tell listeners about that.

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Speaker 1: I'm on, I'm on a little break right now. But uh,

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Speaker 1: but you know I went for like twelve years pycho therapy.

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Speaker 1: And when I started, when Peter and I were splitting,

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Speaker 1: I was like such a wreck. I went five days

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Speaker 1: a week. It is well I couldn't, you know, I

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Speaker 1: you know, I needed it and uh and and so

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Speaker 1: much I had to look at because I was one

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Speaker 1: of those people that didn't really let myself feel my

408
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Speaker 1: feelings right and uh, you know, I've none my feelings

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Speaker 1: with pot or I just would very e them. And

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Speaker 1: I was even a victim of a violent crime. I

411
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Speaker 1: was ready to come point. I didn't really deal with

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Speaker 1: my pain. I just said, you know, I can handle

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Speaker 1: this march on person here. And then like ten years later,

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Speaker 1: when I was famous on the Nannie and Alta, that

415
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Speaker 1: kind of uh magazine TV shows kind of exploited that,

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Speaker 1: and um, even though I had written about it, my

417
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Speaker 1: uh you know, they put it on like it had

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Speaker 1: just happened. And my mom was getting calls my parents

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Speaker 1: from neighbors. What happened to Brandon? It was like this

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Speaker 1: happened a while ago, but for me, I re experienced it,

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Speaker 1: and because I was in therapy, you know, I had like, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, a PTS, and suddenly it was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, this happened to me and I was I

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Speaker 1: remember lying on the couch and weeping, you know, over

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Speaker 1: and over again, until you know, I could sort it

426
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 1: all out and really connect with how painful that all was.

427
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: And I think that that was a contributor to my cancer.

428
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: It's almost poetic that I should have been denial of

429
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 1: being raped and then end up with uterine cancer. Well

430
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,400
Speaker 1: they always say disease cause this disease. I always say

431
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 1: that too, So it's ease. And you know, every trooper says,

432
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: you know the issues are in the tissues. Yes, So

433
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna do with you're paying man, it's

434
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 1: gonna show up somewhere, and it's to manifest somewhere. We

435
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: talked to daughter on here and she said a lot

436
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: of the same things. Well, she's she's done the um.

437
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: She's actually led meditations from my health summit. So cool.

438
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 1: How did experiencing a disease like cancer changed the way

439
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: you live your everyday life, oh, you know, exponentially. And mean,

440
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 1: over the course of the eighteen years that I've been well,

441
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: you know, and building this movement, I've really kind of

442
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:11,439
Speaker 1: tackled and looked at everything differently because you know, the

443
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 1: twentieth century it has not really served us well. It

444
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: was the modern age and the convenient age, and nobody

445
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: really channlenged your question. But is this thing healthy or

446
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,959
Speaker 1: safe for good for me and my family? And I

447
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: think now in the twenty century, as we see an

448
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: escalation in all kinds of diseases or to immune inflammation, uh, cancers, young, old, everybody,

449
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 1: everything's getting mixed up. Um, we have to start looking

450
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: at you know what we're exposing ourselves too. And frankly,

451
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,239
Speaker 1: everything old is new again. I say, keep it, you know,

452
00:26:55,560 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 1: clean and simple, and keep manufacturers honest. You or purchasing

453
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: power is your power and uh, you know what you

454
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: buy in for that matter. What you don't buy is

455
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 1: your vote and your protests. And you know, I mean,

456
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: if we all stopped drinking, call it tonight, it's I'm

457
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: making it tomorrow that fast. We don't need to know

458
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: who's in the White House. We don't need to care

459
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 1: who's in Congress. They're all middle management, beholden to big

460
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 1: business and the ruling class elite that's so high up

461
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: where the aerosode. Then they don't care about anything but

462
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 1: weapons and slaves. Do you drink a red wine? Um?

463
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 1: I don't drink as any anywhere near as much anymore

464
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: because I am constantly managing inflammation due to the uh

465
00:27:52,480 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: kind of elective removal of my appendix by my surgeon

466
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: for my cancer surgery. So here's a little insight tip. Listeners.

467
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: When you have to go to the hospital and get

468
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: surgery and you sign that thing, yes, do whatever you

469
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: think needs to be done, make sure you add to

470
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 1: it only that directly relates to what you're doing. Because

471
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 1: I remember in the recovery, I said, God, the right

472
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 1: side r it's worse than the left, and the doctor

473
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: it's surgeon very matter of fact. They said, oh, that's

474
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 1: probably because we took out your appendix, and I said why,

475
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: and she said, well, once we open up your abdomen,

476
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: you're at risk of getting infected, so we'd rather just

477
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: take it out now than have to go in again.

478
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: And and you don't need it anyway. Well, fast forward

479
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: eighteen years and enter my world with doctors that went

480
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: to medical school, drank the kool aid, started practicing, began

481
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: to get woke, realized that there's a better way, and

482
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: now are reinventing the wheel of health rather than sickness. Um,

483
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: the appendix is the brains of the lymphatic system. Well,

484
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: they took out the brains from my lymphatic system. Mind

485
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: to mind too, I'm so stressed. Wow, do you have inflammation?

486
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,959
Speaker 1: I just thought it was bloated. Now now you know, Brobot,

487
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: I bet you a million things I connetlist that you're experiencing.

488
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: Do you get sinus? Yeah, I'm I'm struggling with watery

489
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: eyes and sinuses today. Wow. See that's I mean, look,

490
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 1: that's well, it's because you don't have an appendix. So

491
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to double down on detoxing your life

492
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: because unless you do that, your body is gonna start

493
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 1: getting more and more congested because your lymphatic system isn't

494
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: working at an optimum. Now there are ways you can

495
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: support it. Dry brushing always up towards the heart down

496
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: and depending on what okay end of the heart you're

497
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: brushing dry brushing is very I'm sorry, what is dry brushing? Uh?

498
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 1: You know it's like a natural kind of hard dry

499
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: brush and it's made out of and you brush your skin. Yes,

500
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: I just thought what was that was? Was it a

501
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: real was in a real movie or no, it was

502
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: it was that was like a Hollywood movie, but they

503
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: were they were brushing this what I can't skin really soft.

504
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: But it actually does stimulate your lymph nodes and that

505
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: you're you know, the lymphatic system is you know what

506
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: is your helps detoxibody. The massages, then the limp lymphatic massages,

507
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: you know, definitely that wouldn't hurt. I actually, for years

508
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 1: before I connected these thoughts, used to feel sick after

509
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: that because it was actually releasing taxins. So when I'd

510
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: be on vacation, I said, oh, I have a lymphatic massage,

511
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: and then I'd like start to feel like Louis or something.

512
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 1: And it's because it was releasing this stuff. So I

513
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: don't really do that that much. I do other things

514
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 1: to help detox and but it is a good thing.

515
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: I do reflux oology to stimulate. Are you cancer free now? Yeah?

516
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: Thank god? Eighteen years? Yeah, So you know, I was

517
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 1: still on stage one. You know, I'm wearing a busy line,

518
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: so it may sound like a speech and paname, I'm sorry, listeners,

519
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 1: my teeth are getting so pretty. Are you still? Are

520
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: you still? Like, where's your heart right now? With love?

521
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: Right now? I'm not in love. I'm in love with myself.

522
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: And say it's a first really, I mean like big time.

523
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: I'm so happy by myself with my self and I

524
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: was subsequent to the therapy, so we started briefly talking

525
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: about the therapy. I went through every member of my family.

526
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: I went in because my marriage was breaking up and

527
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: I thought he was the problem. But then you know,

528
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 1: I started going at everybody that I you know, in

529
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 1: my nuclear family and peeling away all those onion skins

530
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: and getting in touch with my own pain and everything

531
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: like that. Then with my second marriage, when after I

532
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 1: thought that I had figured everything out, this dude pushed

533
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: so many buttons. I'm so grateful for the relationship because

534
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: you know, I learned so much about myself because of him,

535
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 1: And so I ended up going to this shaman that

536
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: became like my therapist as well as kind of a

537
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 1: holistic helper to the way I go about living my life,

538
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: and uh, I found him to be very helpful. And

539
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 1: he said, you know when you feel that feeling like

540
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: you now you're they're scraping a fork in my insides

541
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 1: because I'm in so much pain that this guy and

542
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 1: I are fighting. He said, that's because you are filling

543
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: yourself from the outside in, your filling that with people

544
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: and stuff, and you know that will only satisfy you

545
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 1: for so long. Then eventually people are going to disappoint

546
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: you because they have their own stuff and stop is

547
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: you know, never gonna do the trick at all, not

548
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: even come close to people, But eventually you're gonna have

549
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: to face the fact that you are responsible for filling you.

550
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, well, look I have heard that

551
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: my whole life. But how what what do I have

552
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: to do? How can I turn this into self love?

553
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: And he said, are you listening every time you get

554
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: that feeling, that angst, loneliness, the oh what did I

555
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: do wrong? Oh why can't he love me? Why aren't

556
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: I in love? Why? It is as in somebody, all

557
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 1: of that stuff. Every single time you don't get a job,

558
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: you feel like it's the end of the world. All

559
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,839
Speaker 1: of that stuff you must discipline yourself to say and

560
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: every time you may have to do it forty times

561
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: a day in the beginning, I love you, Fran, I

562
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: know how special you are. It's Fran and Fran till

563
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: the end of time. Well, if I tell you just

564
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 1: the first time I said it, it eased me, And

565
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,280
Speaker 1: every time I said it after that, I got closer

566
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: and closer to understanding. Oh my god, this is my journey.

567
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 1: It's not even about anybody else. Everybody that comes into

568
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 1: it is just my opportunity on my journey of self

569
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: refinement so I can become a better human being. That's it.

570
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 1: It's like the healthy way of self soothing as opposed

571
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: to looking for outside validation. Did you ever consider kids

572
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 1: to be like? Is that something you ever strived for?

573
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: For maybe that happiness or for that love? You know? No,

574
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: I actually was that everybody's caregiver. Um, I really was

575
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: odeed on that. I didn't even have insight to why

576
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 1: I was surrounded by so many basket cases and I

577
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: felt like I had to take care of I mean,

578
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: it was totally self imposed. It's amazing how I needed

579
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 1: to be needed. So I surrounded myself what needed people.

580
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 1: And then when I started to realize this, you know.

581
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: But but through all those years which would have been

582
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,919
Speaker 1: my the they likely years that I would have had

583
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: a baby, Um, I thought, I cannot have one more

584
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: person need me, and if anybody needs you, it's a kid,

585
00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 1: like exactly. I mean. So actually now I think I

586
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,439
Speaker 1: would be the best parents I ever could have been.

587
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 1: And even now, I you know, I mean, I I think, um,

588
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 1: you know, i'd probably maybe walk away from the business

589
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: because I don't really have to work, and maybe I

590
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:25,359
Speaker 1: just kind of, you know, enjoy a village life with

591
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,720
Speaker 1: a kid and you know, teach them how to um

592
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: be truly connected to nature and love themselves. And if

593
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: you got those two things going for you, you know,

594
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: your your your it's money. How can our listeners help

595
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 1: with your charity? Thank you for asking. UM. Please go

596
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 1: to CANCERUS minsit dot org slash summit and get tickets

597
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 1: for my Masterclass Health Summit. Be prepared to blow your mind.

598
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 1: It will be a game changer. You will walk away

599
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 1: uh and you'll you'll know what to do and you

600
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,800
Speaker 1: won't feel helpless and you'll just be transformed forever. So

601
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: that's one thing. Join It's free and you'll get all

602
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: kinds of information from us, and if you can't come

603
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 1: and support us, which ideally would be amazing, and then

604
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: you could get face to face with the doctors and

605
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: me um, it's going to be uh live stream online.

606
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 1: So but again it all goes back to go to

607
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 1: Cancer Spans at dot org and familiarize yourself with some

608
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 1: of our programs. We have a bee that changed me

609
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: and Jamie Fox did an education video uh, and it's

610
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: targeting teens. They're the first generation particted to not live

611
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: as long as their parents in US history, and we

612
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 1: don't want to make that a self fulfilling prophecy. But

613
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: you know, they don't vote, they don't pay taxes, therefore

614
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 1: they don't wield a lot of power in Washington. We

615
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 1: are empowering them because there are multi billion dollar demographic

616
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 1: and frankly, they're not terribly discerning to advertising b s.

617
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 1: So we're trying to wake them up to that because

618
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: you know, nobody in big business really cares about them

619
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 1: and the stuff that they are being convinced to buy

620
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: because it's cool or it's gonna make them popular, it's

621
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: gonna make them pretty, is actually gonna make them die

622
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 1: young and it's not serving them well. Well, on that note,

623
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 1: brand Dresser, we really appreciate it. Thank you so much.

624
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys, thank you so much. So I have

625
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: a question for you. Do you guys ever feel like

626
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 1: we are more divided than ever? All Right, if you're

627
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: tired of hearing about all the things that separate us,

628
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,760
Speaker 1: you have to check out Spit. It's a new podcast

629
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: from our Heart Radio with twenty three and me where

630
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: they explore all things DNA and how we are all

631
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 1: genetically alike. So the host sits down with some of

632
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: the biggest artists, including John Legend, Melissa Etheridge, Pete Wentz

633
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: to talk about how the world of genetic testing is

634
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: changing who we are and the world's around us. So,

635
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 1: you guys, make sure you know I love that you

636
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: guys listen to this podcast. But I also encourage you

637
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 1: guys to check out full episodes of Spit now on

638
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.

639
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: So I got my Thrive box in the mail the

640
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,720
Speaker 1: other day, um from Thrive Market, and I gotta tell you, guys,

641
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 1: it's so nice. You know, right now it's getting a

642
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: little harder to move around because I got a baby

643
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 1: on the way, but Thrive Market makes it really, really

644
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:51,319
Speaker 1: really easy for me. It's a revolutionary online marketplace on

645
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 1: a mission to make healthy living easy and affordable. So

646
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Speaker 1: you can shop for thousands of the best selling non

647
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Speaker 1: GMO foods and natural products at to fifty percent below

648
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Speaker 1: traditional retail prices. That is huge. You can get everything

649
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 1: you need from snacks, vitamin's, beauty products, kids stuff, organic

650
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: baby food ships straight to your door. You better believe

651
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 1: that I'm going to be using Thrive Market, especially when

652
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: the baby comes out to so. Thrive Market also now

653
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 1: offers fresh meat and seafood, so that is fantastic. More

654
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 1: than seventy of the Thrive Market catalog cannot be found

655
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: on Amazon, and trust me, I did a test because

656
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 1: I've always loved Amazon. Well, Thrive Market offers more. Get

657
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 1: off your first order plus plus three thirty day trial

658
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 1: at thrive market dot com slash Janna. That's thrive market

659
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: dot com slash Janna for off your first order and

660
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 1: a free thirty day trial, no promo code, just thrive

661
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: market dot com slash Jamna. So how about the legend

662
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: freend dresser as you so well, I mean, we grew

663
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 1: I grew up with watching I know. That's what I'm saying.

664
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 1: That was a good perfect even you said, You're like,

665
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: how how crazy was I never thought that we'd be

666
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 1: interviewing friend dresser. I mean, I just love it. I

667
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 1: love her voice, I love her laugh. I loved being

668
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 1: next to her. I have a weird voice. I can

669
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: resonate with her. You don't have a weird voice. It's

670
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 1: just different some five year old. You don't sound like

671
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 1: a five year old. I was. My whole plan was

672
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 1: to be a CNN inchor growing up. I didn't didn't

673
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: work out. It was incredible. Someone's phone started ringing and

674
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 1: I wrote down, like, oh, I better take this out,

675
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 1: and then she started that laugh, and I'm like, hope

676
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: this is saying it. I will say I. You know,

677
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 1: I have so much anxiety around everything. I mean when

678
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: it comes to the cancer stuff, because I feel as

679
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 1: if I'm I know what we put on our our

680
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: desk or what we wash with them. The Meyer stuff

681
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 1: is good, right, that's or definitely ganic. We have to

682
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: stop using dryer sheets. But I can't everything, and I

683
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: can't stop. I was gonna ask Fran and I was

684
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 1: gonna bring up you know, our conversation with some of

685
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 1: some of the hairs that we had a few weeks

686
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 1: again stuff where yeah, like, at what point I understand

687
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: their cancer survivors, So of course they're going to be

688
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 1: all in, hyper nuts, hyper sensitive in a negative way,

689
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 1: but very proactive in their life and what they put

690
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: on their bodies and their bodies and so on. But

691
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 1: for those that unfortunately do not have to suffer from that, like,

692
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 1: I still believe in everything's okay in moderation, you know

693
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 1: what I mean? But is it though with all the

694
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 1: stuff they're not putting in things? I mean, look at

695
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: our grandparents are Our grandparents didn't have all the pesticides

696
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: on things, all the things they're pumping in the chickens,

697
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,439
Speaker 1: all the things, you know, all the they probably didn't

698
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: have as much and whatever they used for Did they

699
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 1: even have deodor? I don't even know back then, but

700
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 1: they did and it was air assault. It was even worse,

701
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 1: I do know. And I only know this from experience

702
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: my stepfather when I he passed away when I was

703
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: twenty one, he was fifty years old. He was forty

704
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: eight and a half when he was diagnosed with a

705
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,919
Speaker 1: brain tumor and so I kind of lived through that.

706
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: He was the healthiest person. He used to go up

707
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: every morning and bike twenty eight miles. He was a

708
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: golfer the eighth grade. He was executive. He loved his job.

709
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 1: He didn't he had cancer. He ended up woke up

710
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: one morning with a brain tumor and it was terminal,

711
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: and I took him to treatment. I took some time

712
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 1: off of school. I took him to treatment every day.

713
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: It was there was nothing we could have done. We

714
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: changed everything in the house in that meantime. You know,

715
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 1: there was nothing we could do. But is there something

716
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: we could do before that? And I know what you're

717
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 1: trying to say that that's why cancer is such a

718
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: beast because you can't be eat it, like even like

719
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 1: your your stepfather, like he lives essentially almost a perfect

720
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: life life from a health standpoint, and there's still nothing

721
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 1: you can do. There's so many people out there that

722
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: suffer from that that there's like, what would you have

723
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 1: changed your life? Nothing? Really? Maybe there is something, really,

724
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 1: you know, maybe it is the food, Maybe it is

725
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 1: the stuff we're putting in our system. Maybe maybe those

726
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: things are the steps to take. So you know, I mean,

727
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: like for example, I had to think then bar every

728
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,359
Speaker 1: morning I read the label and every morning I'm like,

729
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 1: this is probably not good for me. It's not you know,

730
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,879
Speaker 1: an an egg with avocado on top of it. It's

731
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 1: got stuff I can't even understand, pronounce, or say, probably

732
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: shouldn't be eating that every single morning. So my sister,

733
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: she is battling cancer herself right now. Oh my god,

734
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Oh it's okay. It's been like, no,

735
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: it's not, but it's not. But she found out she

736
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 1: was So she found out she was pregnant and had

737
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 1: cancer all on the same day. Um, and when did

738
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:57,839
Speaker 1: you find out? This was like about like a year

739
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 1: and a half ago now, so she's been so the

740
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: baby is how the moral of the story. But basically

741
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 1: she had to choose the homeopathic rout because you can't

742
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: do chemo with a baby. Um, so she had to

743
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 1: go through the whole homeopathic rout and it was just

744
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: like she's got a cancer, it's okay, thyroid. So she

745
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: was probably stage two, stage three. So it's very very

746
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 1: intense and um, I mean she chose to fight for

747
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 1: her life for her baby, which was so amazing, and

748
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: it just shows that there really is a way like

749
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,760
Speaker 1: she's still battling it, but like there's so many alternatives

750
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: out there, and like for her, she's like never own

751
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 1: a microwave, she never uses teflon. She's a nutrition as

752
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: her husband is allergic to soy, so like it's so

753
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 1: it's like one of the number one contributors to cancer.

754
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: It feeds it quite literally sa much sugar. So she

755
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: had to learn a lot from this, but it's like

756
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: she still got it and she's like the healthiest person ever.

757
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 1: So it's just kind of that thing where it's like

758
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: life happens. But she even invesigating. She's like Eve, when

759
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 1: you buy organic food, it's like really not that organic anymore.

760
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: Our soils are just so like just filled with pesticides

761
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,320
Speaker 1: and toxins. So it's really hard. I think we just

762
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: live in this day and a age where it's like

763
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 1: you can just do the best you're gonna do and

764
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 1: like things are going to happen, but there's like ways

765
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: to overcome it. Which I love her story though, is

766
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: that you know, sometimes it's like you really have to

767
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 1: pay attention to your body, like your liver is so crucial.

768
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,720
Speaker 1: Like my sister Kylie, she realized her liver wasn't functioning,

769
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 1: so sending all the toxins to her like your controller system,

770
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,720
Speaker 1: but it's like your PlayStation like controller. You can't work

771
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 1: without it, you know. So she just had to really

772
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:24,759
Speaker 1: go through a lot. But I mean it's true. It's

773
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 1: like telling I mean, she is an awesome story. Is

774
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: just like you can't really do anything to prevent it,

775
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 1: and like genetic speed a lot into that, and you're,

776
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 1: I think, there's what you just said, there's there's nothing

777
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: you can can do to prevent it. If there's if

778
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: you're eating McDonald's cheese burn every single day, or if

779
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 1: you're having Splendors day, then maybe isn't My sister's like

780
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 1: I'm not going to live my whole life like fighting this,

781
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: Like I want to go to breathe and like have

782
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,280
Speaker 1: a cook you with my kid. But it's like also

783
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 1: tough because you're like, but you're battling this deadly beast.

784
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,879
Speaker 1: She can end up doing chema. So she's she's really

785
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 1: against it. Through the research, and again, everybody does their

786
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: own thing, and um, I respect that, but investigating her

787
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 1: decision to kind of see how far she can make

788
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 1: her body as healthy as possible before going in. Um,

789
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 1: Western medicine does kind of compartmentalize, so for her, she

790
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: was like, I want to see what is going wrong

791
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,439
Speaker 1: with my body before going with further things. But um, yeah,

792
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: she she I think she'll have to go get like surgery,

793
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: maybe get it all taken out because it's getting to

794
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: her lymph notes, which is like a little bit because

795
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 1: then write what happens after thyroid goes to your lungs

796
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: goes to your brain? Right? So yeah, well, I'm really

797
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 1: sorry that you and your family and you know she's

798
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 1: going through that. But it's crazy. I mean, we get

799
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 1: all learned how to make our bodies healthy. And I

800
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 1: love that she's using her story to be like, hey, guys, like,

801
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 1: let's figure out how to make our bodies healthy. And

802
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: I think that's really not Yeah, and I think to

803
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,839
Speaker 1: your point, Mike, it is about moderation. But I think

804
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 1: there are things too that we could be more conscious of.

805
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: That for sure. I mean, again, anyone's out there and

806
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 1: thought about it's like what could I cut out today? Yes,

807
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: but I don't want it because I like having him

808
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,800
Speaker 1: in the morning. They're fast, it's easy. But yes, I

809
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,280
Speaker 1: like Stevia in my coffee. But I see that here's

810
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: and I wanted to start drinking. Well, I don't know

811
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 1: what is I mean. I think they say they're all bad.

812
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: But one of the reasons why I don't drink coffee

813
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,720
Speaker 1: not only because of my anxiety, I've been really craving

814
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 1: coffee after this baby, and I was like, man, I

815
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 1: can't wait to have a cup of coffee. But my

816
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,240
Speaker 1: problem is I'll put ten splendas. So I actually stopped

817
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,360
Speaker 1: drinking or no, I stopped in my tea too. I

818
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: would do five to six slendas in my tea, I know.

819
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 1: So I stopped doing splenda all together and then just

820
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 1: drinking regular tea, which I did pretty well there for

821
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 1: a minute. But I don't know if I could do

822
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 1: that with coffee. So I don't know. It's just I

823
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 1: think we can be more conscious, and I'm curious with

824
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:59,399
Speaker 1: the listeners out there due to live a conscious, conscious life. Um,

825
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:01,839
Speaker 1: So you can emails at Janna Cramer I heart media

826
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 1: dot com to give us some tips. What you might

827
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 1: have been cutting out to help without yea, what do

828
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 1: you do instead of dryer sheets? Well, I've been using

829
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:17,439
Speaker 1: the baby Ganics for Jolie's dryer sheets. But are those good?

830
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I just know fran Bonnie Hunt.

831
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 1: Why what do they say about dryer sheets though? What

832
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: are they? What's wrong with it? They're just so toxic

833
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: and then we're you know, it goes into our clothes,

834
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 1: and then we're putting our clothes on, we're wearing them

835
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 1: for fourteen hours a day. But again, okay, we've talked

836
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: about dryer sheets a decent amount. Okay, but that's on top,

837
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 1: that's topical, right, that's on top of your body. And

838
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: also other things we've heard is you know, putting things

839
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: inside your body I would think are more important to

840
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 1: change before dry you know, you think about deodorant. Deodorant

841
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 1: doesn't go inside your bottom, but it soaks in your

842
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: bid just something on your shirt could soak into your

843
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:01,280
Speaker 1: correct correct But that's not the fastest route to your organism,

844
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: to your you know, your system. So that's all I'm

845
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 1: saying is that my dryer sheets would probably be towards

846
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 1: the end of things that I cut out medical summit.

847
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 1: I just don't I'm just stressed. I'm scared. I'm stressed,

848
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: And honestly, one of the things I mean not to

849
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: bring up your stuff, Mike, but I because so many

850
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: people that go through a tragedy or a a big

851
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 1: event in their life if they don't, which I'm glad

852
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: we've talked about our stuff, but that's like one of

853
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: my scariest thing is because we've had someone that's gone

854
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: through affairs and she ended up getting cancer. I think

855
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 1: there's something to be said when you don't, when you

856
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 1: when you hold in all your disease absolutely and I

857
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 1: and I'm like scared. I'm like, am I going to

858
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: get cancer? Because the two years that we've fought, you know,

859
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: so that's always been kind of in the back of

860
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 1: my mind, which I'm glad that I haven't, but I

861
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 1: still hold in certain things. But then it's like everyone

862
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 1: has again but out. But now we're doing things to

863
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 1: alleviate those those mental stresses and stuff. And that's why

864
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 1: I'm glad Fran said that because therapy is a huge

865
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 1: mental aspect to alleviate problems that you might deal with

866
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: that cause stress that ultimately can cause cancer. So that's

867
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 1: taking care of yourself mentally as opposed to in addition

868
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 1: to physically and keeping things out of your body. But

869
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 1: you guys aren't stuffing feelings down right, we're letting them out.

870
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 1: I think we do at times, Yeah, but at some

871
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 1: point you're letting What are you guys doing like specifically though,

872
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,280
Speaker 1: to like wake up each day and like alleviate your stress,

873
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: Like what do you guys do together besides therapy? Obviously

874
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: it's a huge one, but communicate? Can you check in

875
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 1: every communicate that alleviates us from the pressure and building

876
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,279
Speaker 1: and building and building up to our neck. It's just

877
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 1: it's a little bit and then we let it go.

878
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: Do you guys have like a code word of when

879
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: you're like, hey, we need to discuss this, like I'm

880
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 1: maxed out or something like what do you do? Like

881
00:51:56,280 --> 00:52:00,040
Speaker 1: we try. We're having a hard time with that. I

882
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 1: think we had. I think that's what's something that hopefully

883
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: we'll be able to get better at. We need to

884
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: learn how to table things better, and we need to

885
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:09,240
Speaker 1: learn how to check in better. No, because our chickens

886
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: are great, but it's I guess it's hard to I

887
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 1: think we do. You know what I'm saying. I'm trying

888
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 1: to understand because I feel like we don't table things well,

889
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: like table it for later. That's something that we need

890
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 1: to get better at we do not table things while

891
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 1: at all we've gotten better, but it's still not good

892
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 1: because we're stubborn and we just want each other to

893
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 1: hear our sides. Listen to me, listen to me, So

894
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: we should we really read an email? So I like

895
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 1: this one. I want kids and my husband doesn't. I'm

896
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: thirty been married for five years. I'm happy for the

897
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 1: most part, but not always. My husband is thirty six

898
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 1: and isn't as ready for kids as I am. This

899
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 1: worries me because part of me feels like he would

900
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 1: be fine without having kids completely. But I'm not at

901
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 1: all okay with us. He says he wants kids only one,

902
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 1: though I want at least two. I'm just worried when

903
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: a kid does come, which we are currently trying, he

904
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 1: isn't going to be as involved as I will be

905
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 1: because I am much more of a kid person. I'm

906
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,440
Speaker 1: a teacher in love kids. Also, how do you keep

907
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,760
Speaker 1: the love alive? Sometimes I feel so annoyed with my husband.

908
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: Some days I wonder why marry him? Is this normal?

909
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 1: It's so normal? Like today with our argument this morning,

910
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,320
Speaker 1: I just and he doing it so funny? Is I

911
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 1: almost instagram this morning? I just want to say that

912
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 1: I'm really annoyed with my husband right now, and it's okay.

913
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:33,439
Speaker 1: I still love him, but I'm still annoyed by him. Yeah,

914
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:37,080
Speaker 1: but I think it's so normal for people to be

915
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 1: annoyed with their spouse. But I will say, you guys,

916
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: you're not gonna like me every day. You're gonna love me. Yeah,

917
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 1: I'll always love you, but yeah, some days I don't.

918
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:52,920
Speaker 1: I don't like you every day? Why But with with

919
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 1: with For Kelly though, and she wants kids and husband doesn't.

920
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:58,799
Speaker 1: If the husband's actually trying, and that means he at

921
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 1: least because I know has say not at all, and

922
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 1: they don't even try try. Isn't this a conversation they

923
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 1: should have had before they got married. Yeah, And we're

924
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:12,920
Speaker 1: not laughing at you, Cali, We're not laughing judging at all.

925
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: I just think this is something that people just assume

926
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 1: and they're so excited to get married that they forget

927
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 1: to have this conversation. And it is such an important conversation.

928
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:24,440
Speaker 1: It is. But I do know someone right now that

929
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 1: they did not. They both were very strong and adamant

930
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 1: they do not want kids. Well, now six years later,

931
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: she wants kids and he doesn't like I've always told

932
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 1: I told you I do not want kids. She's like,

933
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 1: you have to defend him in that case because they

934
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 1: have that as that discussion. If she wasn't authentic from

935
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:47,319
Speaker 1: the beginning, no, but she was she did not want kids. Well,

936
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 1: that's the thing. I mean, it's okay to change your mind.

937
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 1: I think it is because you have to accept the

938
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 1: fact that he maybe is not going to be on

939
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:58,320
Speaker 1: that same pat What doesn't mean they need to go something.

940
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 1: I mean if if Michael, if we had gotten married

941
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 1: and he said, you know, I don't want we said

942
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 1: we don't want kids, and I change my mind and

943
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 1: he says, well, actually I have a great one. My girlfriend,

944
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,840
Speaker 1: she was married, he didn't want to have kids. She

945
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,280
Speaker 1: ended up divorcing him because she's like, I will forever

946
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:18,040
Speaker 1: regret not having a kid. I will regret I will

947
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 1: be um, what's the word like resentful towards him. And

948
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,919
Speaker 1: so she left and she ended up adopting. Okay, So, Kelly,

949
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,840
Speaker 1: you need to investigate if your husband is going to

950
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 1: change his mind where he said he wants. He said

951
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:32,319
Speaker 1: he wants kids, only one though she wants to. Now

952
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: they're trying like you said, Janna, obviously he wants you

953
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,879
Speaker 1: because they're trying to have one. If you have one,

954
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 1: and she's worried about him not being an active parent

955
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 1: and present parent. I'm optimistic that that will change once

956
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 1: he feels that love and compassion for this human being

957
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:51,759
Speaker 1: that he helped create, because once you have a child,

958
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 1: I feel like that's when you really understand unconditional love

959
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,760
Speaker 1: on a whole new level. But there's no guarantee because

960
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,479
Speaker 1: and I may be single parent right for four years,

961
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 1: and if he really doesn't want one, then it's like

962
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:06,640
Speaker 1: there is no guarantee. And that's why I made sure

963
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,720
Speaker 1: to choose my wordy incorrectly, not say positive or guarantee.

964
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:13,839
Speaker 1: You I said, I'm optimistic, hopefully, hopefully that he would

965
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 1: be that way. Should we read another one? Okay, so

966
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 1: you guys we have we have one from Anonymous. I

967
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: know why anonymous is anonymous? Most speech man of honor

968
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 1: speech for a groom I don't like a man, right

969
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 1: because oh it is. It's a matron of honor, so

970
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,360
Speaker 1: she's actually married. Matron of honor means that she's married.

971
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: I mean, we've all experienced this once in our life, right,

972
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 1: So I'm about to be matron of honor in my

973
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: very best friend's wedding, but I hate the room. It's

974
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 1: a capitalized h. Have to capitalize hate. Yeah, I do

975
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: not think he's good for her, but she has set

976
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:01,400
Speaker 1: in her ways and that's who she's choosing. It sucks.

977
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 1: But if she's happy, I am too. That's not true.

978
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 1: But how the hell do you write an m O

979
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 1: H speech when I can't find one nice thing to

980
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 1: say about him? The whole speech will just be how

981
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: much I love my best friend. And that's fine. That's

982
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 1: totally fine. That's it. She answered her own question. Just

983
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 1: make it about your making about the bride and how

984
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 1: much you love her, and how happy you are that

985
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: she's happy, that she's happy. And again when you said

986
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't think she is, I think

987
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 1: you know. You still want your best friend to be happy.

988
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 1: I hated my and my my my girlfriend, Amy love

989
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 1: her to death. I hated her boyfriend for like the

990
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 1: where we even weren't we couldn't even be friends because

991
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 1: he hated me. I hated it, like it's just it

992
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:47,480
Speaker 1: was just bad. No, No, she's engaged to a lovely guy,

993
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 1: like she's getting married next year. I'm so happy for

994
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: but there's a point where it's like, if she's happy,

995
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 1: you have to just accept. But it's it's it's sometimes

996
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 1: gonna be so hard that it's just you can't even.

997
00:57:58,440 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 1: Have you ever been at a wedding where you know

998
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 1: this will not work? My own wedding? Yeah, I was

999
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: a bridesmaid in a wedding and I remember just standing

1000
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 1: up there in a terribly ugly bridesmaid dress just thinking,

1001
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 1: this will never last, this is a waste of time.

1002
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 1: Not you know, I haven't besides mine, not Michael's the

1003
00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 1: other one. Um, besides that, I haven't. The ones that

1004
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:29,959
Speaker 1: I've been at, I really truly felt like they would

1005
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 1: stay together, and they have so far. What about and

1006
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 1: your friends? All all my friends. I definitely gonna make

1007
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 1: it fingers crossed so hard, but like they some will,

1008
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:50,440
Speaker 1: some won't. Yeah, I heard it now, Drop Duddy that

1009
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: came out that said Jane and I single handily raised marriages.

1010
00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 1: Are they do it like it's not? It's a forty

1011
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 1: percent or something, And then their article had like a

1012
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 1: million reasons as to why and because nobody's getting married,

1013
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 1: I think the people are getting married later so that

1014
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 1: becomes a thing. And then also um marriages down there

1015
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 1: may be marrying smarter and then they just don't want

1016
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: to get divorced and split the money. So I think

1017
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 1: they just live miserably fantastic, so much fun that's on

1018
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 1: trend right now, just staying together and being unhappy hashtag

1019
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: miserable miserable. No, no, no no. So I just was

1020
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 1: traveling this past week, and let me tell you, I

1021
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 1: walked around trying to find a cord to plug my

1022
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 1: phone in for at least twenty minutes. It was so frustrating.

1023
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 1: I ended up having to walk way past my gate.

1024
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,919
Speaker 1: And now I'm so excited because I get to talk

1025
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:50,920
Speaker 1: to you guys about away luggage. So it's first class

1026
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 1: luggage at a coach price. What's so great about it

1027
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: is that you can charge anything that has a USB cord.

1028
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 1: So carry on cellphone, tablets, e readers, again, anything powered

1029
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:07,919
Speaker 1: by USB cord, It's going to be charged by your

1030
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 1: away luggage. It's a hundred day trial. Live with It,

1031
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:13,800
Speaker 1: Vibe with It, travel with it Instagram. If you don't

1032
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:16,840
Speaker 1: like it, you return it free refront. So how cool

1033
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 1: is that? Again? It's so nice a single charge of

1034
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:23,920
Speaker 1: the away carry on will charge your iPhone five times

1035
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:27,479
Speaker 1: and you can sit perfectly at your gate, not trying

1036
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 1: to find a freaking outlet for your devices. So for

1037
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 1: twenty dollars off the suitcase, visit away travel dot com.

1038
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:39,000
Speaker 1: Slash Janna and use promo code Janna during checkout. That's

1039
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 1: a way travel dot Com. Slash Janna and enter Janna.

1040
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 1: For twenty dollars off away travel dot Com, slash Janna

1041
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 1: and enter Janna. Yes, Darling, I'd love for you to

1042
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: read this one. I've just gotten a brief all right.

1043
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: This is from anonymous emotionally abusive boyfriend. Today's my five

1044
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 1: year anniversary with my boy friend Shane. Sorry she's anonymous.

1045
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:09,440
Speaker 1: Well he's now. That's normally a good thing that makes

1046
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 1: people happy to say, But today I'm feeling extremely defeated.

1047
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 1: I'm currently sleeping in my car as I write this

1048
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:16,240
Speaker 1: email to you. I had helped his parents clean up

1049
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 1: a bathroom had overflooded with poop water from their septic

1050
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 1: being full. So once I cleaned up, I asked him

1051
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,560
Speaker 1: for some cuddles. When I asked for some time with him,

1052
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 1: he said, I give you attention all the time. I

1053
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 1: see you all the time. I want time to my

1054
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:32,480
Speaker 1: effing self. Oh uh. And last week I was suffering

1055
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 1: extreme from extremely bad migraines, to the point I blacked

1056
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:37,480
Speaker 1: out behind the wheel almost struck a telephone pole. I

1057
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 1: decided it wasn't a good idea for me to be

1058
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 1: driving anymore and made an appointment to see my g P.

1059
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: His response was, I'm not waiting an hour for you

1060
01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:47,160
Speaker 1: to see your doctor. So I had to find another

1061
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 1: family member to get me to my appointment and take

1062
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:52,520
Speaker 1: me home after. Why are you still with him? So

1063
01:01:52,640 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 1: I sit so currently, I sit bundled in my car

1064
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: with a blanket pillow in my central needs to make

1065
01:01:58,160 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 1: it through the week. I haven't received a text or

1066
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,080
Speaker 1: own call from him. My question is when is it

1067
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:04,960
Speaker 1: time to throw in the towel? Now? I know I've

1068
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,760
Speaker 1: been dealing with emotional abuse for him from him for years,

1069
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,040
Speaker 1: and I've accepted that's just who he is. But I'm

1070
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 1: constantly torn between giving up and fighting for him, because,

1071
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 1: as as we always hear, when you're in a relationship,

1072
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:17,040
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to give up easily. But when is

1073
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:19,160
Speaker 1: it time? I'm so lost and confused and don't know

1074
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 1: what to do if I was to leave him, I

1075
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 1: have nowhere to go, Okay, I just need to start

1076
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 1: because i'm My first response is to cry because I

1077
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 1: remember sitting in my car from my abusive relationship with

1078
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:37,160
Speaker 1: my X, and I remember being like, when is it time?

1079
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 1: And that was I still stayed with him a year

1080
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:45,600
Speaker 1: after that, and because I was like, I have nowhere

1081
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:49,120
Speaker 1: to go, I have no money, He's in control of everything.

1082
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 1: I I need him. Because they make you feel like

1083
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 1: you need them, they totally manipulate you into thinking that

1084
01:02:57,120 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 1: you're the problem. You're it's all your fault. You're not

1085
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 1: good enough. You're never going to find someone good enough.

1086
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:06,440
Speaker 1: I promise you there is a better guy for you

1087
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 1: than Shane, because how he's making you feel is just

1088
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:16,160
Speaker 1: is so uncalled for. It's but I feel bad, you know,

1089
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 1: saying leave now, because I remember being in that situation

1090
01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:22,520
Speaker 1: and not having the strength or the willpower to leave.

1091
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:27,560
Speaker 1: So I feel like a hypocrite saying now, leave now

1092
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:30,520
Speaker 1: because I didn't. So that makes me like a huge

1093
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:34,800
Speaker 1: hypocrite because I stayed in it way longer than's been

1094
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 1: through it, so you know, right, But I also know

1095
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: where she's at and it's going to take her time

1096
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:41,400
Speaker 1: unless she has like the really truly the power to

1097
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,920
Speaker 1: realize that she deserves better and she like it's I mean,

1098
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:47,360
Speaker 1: it took me to him trying to kill me to

1099
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:49,800
Speaker 1: get out of my relationship, and I still slept with

1100
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:52,280
Speaker 1: him two nights after he's tried to kill me. But

1101
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,440
Speaker 1: don't you wish you would have? And awful, I just

1102
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 1: can't share that. But yeah, but that's how, that's how.

1103
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:01,680
Speaker 1: What did they make you feel? But if you could

1104
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:03,520
Speaker 1: have gone back to then and you knew someone who

1105
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:05,640
Speaker 1: went through a very similar situation, they told you that

1106
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,400
Speaker 1: they contemplated it, we weren't sure and struggled with the decision,

1107
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,439
Speaker 1: but then ultimately made it and it turned out okay.

1108
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:12,560
Speaker 1: Wouldn't you like to hear that story? And here, if

1109
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,600
Speaker 1: I could and go back, I would have left then.

1110
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 1: I don't think I would have left. I still don't

1111
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 1: because when when she says, because she goes right here,

1112
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 1: I'd have nowhere to go, and you feel helpless? Yeah,

1113
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 1: and because I had, I because I he made me

1114
01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:29,920
Speaker 1: feel like I had nowhere to go, which and all,

1115
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,400
Speaker 1: and I'm saying to this anonymous, you do have a

1116
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 1: place to go. You have hopefully you have your family,

1117
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 1: but I was. My mom didn't know that I was

1118
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:40,000
Speaker 1: secretly married to this guy. My friends didn't know I

1119
01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 1: really truly had. And when I did go somewhere, I was,

1120
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:46,439
Speaker 1: you know, they didn't want me talking to the person.

1121
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:48,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, you don't understand, Like it's just we

1122
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 1: just had a fight. No it's not. So that's what's like,

1123
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:55,840
Speaker 1: you have you have to get to that point yourself

1124
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 1: and where we can tell you to leave, and when

1125
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 1: you say, like when is it time? That he doesn't

1126
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,800
Speaker 1: sound like he's willing to change and for and then

1127
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,760
Speaker 1: I look at our situation. I should have left a

1128
01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:11,440
Speaker 1: million times too, but when things kept happening, but I

1129
01:05:11,560 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: stuck around to see if you would change, and eventually

1130
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 1: you did, thank god. But it's still a cycle. Yeah,

1131
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:20,840
Speaker 1: but there's still there is progression through our story, right

1132
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:22,840
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So it wasn't just like

1133
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:25,560
Speaker 1: woke up one day and everything is different. Is progression

1134
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 1: is both of us learning how to deal with things

1135
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:29,919
Speaker 1: and be different in our own way. And if he's

1136
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,960
Speaker 1: not trying, if he's not showing any progression and given anything,

1137
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:36,920
Speaker 1: which from the email he hasn't, then it's like, you know,

1138
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 1: he's twenty seven. I imagine she's around the same age.

1139
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:42,400
Speaker 1: She's not as young as you were when you were

1140
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 1: going through this, So that's true, you know what I mean. So, yeah,

1141
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:49,000
Speaker 1: she's a little smarter, maybe has a little bit more

1142
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 1: stability hopefully. Um So, I mean, in our opinion, in

1143
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:57,919
Speaker 1: my opinion, it's time to go. Jen, you agree, Yeah,

1144
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,560
Speaker 1: I think she needs to work on herself for and

1145
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 1: find her voice, and I think she's probably in a

1146
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:07,320
Speaker 1: really insecure place and it's going to take her time

1147
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 1: she has to leave. It's just miserable. And what the

1148
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 1: positive of this is they're not married, they don't have

1149
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:21,440
Speaker 1: kids exactly, twenties, like, you got so much ahead of you,

1150
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:26,840
Speaker 1: so much to enjoy, You deserve to being a loving relationship,

1151
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 1: so much to enjoy, so much to be optimistic about. Yes,

1152
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 1: you spent five the last five years of your life,

1153
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 1: a lot of growing years in your mid twenties, right,

1154
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:37,720
Speaker 1: that's when you grow a lot. But you've got nothing

1155
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 1: but time on your side now. Well, I hope she

1156
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,920
Speaker 1: leaves because it just breaks my heart for her. Anonymous,

1157
01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 1: get back to get back to us, let us know, Um,

1158
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 1: I love you guys, thanks for winding down. I'm kind

1159
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:52,520
Speaker 1: of upset right now, so I'm just gonna end this episode.

1160
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 1: Love you, guys. Ki