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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yanta I know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. This podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

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Speaker 2: These You need help, You're the problems.

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Speaker 3: Come on, come on.

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Speaker 2: Go leam, take a pill. I think you're insane. Do

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Speaker 2: what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 2: it's your old pell Lisa Lampinelli, Oh my god, welcome

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Speaker 2: back to shrinks. We have a very unspecial episode with

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Speaker 2: someone who I don't think much of, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 2: sometimes you're gonna throw a guy a bone. You gotta

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Speaker 2: you gotta throw him a pity fuck in the form

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Speaker 2: of a podcast. So I have my good friend just

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Speaker 2: kidding by the no, not the friend part. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: relly friends with you. I'm invited to everything you do,

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Speaker 2: which is nothing. My good friend Beau McDowell's here bo

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Speaker 2: say hello hello because oh no, don't be a nick

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Speaker 2: I swear to god, I will oh fuck, oh god. Uh,

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Speaker 2: where can people find you on social media.

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Speaker 3: You can find me at bau McDowell comedy. McDon what

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Speaker 3: Pau McDowell comedy you.

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Speaker 2: Said, because it sounds like you said bau McDowell of comedy,

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Speaker 2: Sir Beau McDowell of comedy. And trust me, if you've

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Speaker 2: seen his comedy, it ain't much comedy. It ain't that funny.

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Speaker 2: But you know what's funny, Yeah, this video thing you do. Look,

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Speaker 2: I'm no fan of watching funny shit because I'm so

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Speaker 2: funny I can't be bothered with the rest. But this

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Speaker 2: TikTok shit you do took off.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's it's a lot of it's from like,

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Speaker 3: you know, going to meetings, like when I was like

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Speaker 3: first getting sober, and just like the shit you like

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Speaker 3: make each other laugh within the meeting because it's like

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Speaker 3: you know, I mean, listen, AA is pretty easy room

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Speaker 3: to get a laugh because every everybody say, how you like.

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Speaker 2: Decided instead of playing comedy clubs, I'm gonna play it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean, hey, you got got a lot of time,

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Speaker 3: you know you can. There's one every hour, right there is.

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Speaker 2: That's what wild I always like, I won't pretend to

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Speaker 2: understand addiction. I sort of know basics about it, just

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Speaker 2: having dealt with codependency and food stuff. But boy, I

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Speaker 2: always feel like you guys in AA are pretty lucky

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Speaker 2: that there's resources in free.

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Speaker 3: Oh dude, constant, I mean, And like the funniest things

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Speaker 3: I've heard in my life. A lot of them come

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Speaker 3: out of a meeting because it's not intentional, you know,

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Speaker 3: like stand up. It's always a guy and he's.

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Speaker 4: You know, I've been working up and down the coast, folks.

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Speaker 3: You know you haven't exactly, but it's like when you

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Speaker 3: when you were sitting in a meeting and.

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Speaker 4: Some guys just being really honest. You know.

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Speaker 3: It's like our buddy Andrew Ginsburg when we first met him,

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Speaker 3: and he's like talking about his marriage and you're like, dude,

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Speaker 3: I love the honesty. It makes you fucking laugh, you know,

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Speaker 3: and like the same ship with me. It's like I

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Speaker 3: when we talk about like ship that we do, that's

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Speaker 3: fucking stupid, like me eating the pizza at uh.

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Speaker 2: We go into that bow. Not only got sober years ago,

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Speaker 2: he loved to transfer addictions. Gain like five hundred pounds

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Speaker 2: was as misshapen as you could imagine, nick, but three

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Speaker 2: times the size. And then like I'm sure you it

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Speaker 2: went to other areas, possibly gambling, other things. We get

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Speaker 2: into that so that happens. Realness is always funny when

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Speaker 2: it comes to those eatings and things. I once brought

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Speaker 2: a off tape, not a tape recorder, but like I

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Speaker 2: hit record during a share of mine once at a

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Speaker 2: codependant's anonymous meeting because I was like, I bet there's

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Speaker 2: material here. Oh dude, I didn't tape anybody else, like

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Speaker 2: that would be super immoral, but I was like, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna take my share. I bet I'm kind of storytelling class.

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Speaker 3: Well, you also can't help it, like if someone's like, hey,

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Speaker 3: you get five minutes to talk, You're like, I got

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Speaker 3: a type.

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Speaker 4: I have a few things neck in there, you know.

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Speaker 2: And well my friend Tracy, who goes to a lot

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Speaker 2: of alan On, she'd call me and she's so funny.

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Speaker 2: She's from stanton On. She knowels loose, cute. Then apartments.

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Speaker 2: That's good, but are you supposed to kill?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? That's not how I were there. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The first thing is to not be whatever you're going there,

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Speaker 2: to not be right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like that's a fine line. Like I remember,

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Speaker 3: I remember like my first couple is like literally going

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Speaker 3: to meetings and like looking at whatever we were reading

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Speaker 3: and being like, all right, I can probably get a

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Speaker 3: few like I got I got a punchline here, punch there.

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Speaker 3: And then after a meeting one day, this guy was like, hey, man,

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Speaker 3: everyone likes you that they all think you're super funny,

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Speaker 3: and it's great because like, I mean, you're gonna die and.

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Speaker 4: Like this is about your life. Wow, and like.

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Speaker 3: It's cool to everyone thinks you're funny, but like you're

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Speaker 3: probably not going to survive do what you're doing.

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Speaker 2: You immediately respond was wait, wait, wait, wait, let me wait, wait, wait,

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Speaker 2: let me get this straight. You think I'm funny?

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Speaker 4: Yeah exactly.

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Speaker 2: It's like yeah, yeah, dude, that wasn't the point. No

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Speaker 2: wait wait wait so what what what did you like

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Speaker 2: that I did up there? It's like comics are so mental.

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Speaker 3: Exactly exactly which line was it? Because I've been working

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Speaker 3: on that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm work shopping in a little bit. I even

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Speaker 2: went to Heroin and IMN, what is it?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, everyone's got to have their own thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we have to. Well there's lots of them, which

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Speaker 2: I fully love. Dude, Yeah, straighten out one thing before

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Speaker 2: we go further. Yeah, okay, alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, all

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Speaker 2: the ones. Yeah, it's supposed to be anonymous. It's not

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Speaker 2: supposed to be self promoting. In other words, you're not

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Speaker 2: supposed to go on say a podcast on iHeart and

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Speaker 2: say the words I go to AA. So do people

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Speaker 2: do that anymore? Do they respect that or do they

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Speaker 2: just say I'm in the program? Like are they vague?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, man, Like, honestly, you know when I

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Speaker 3: remember people being like really harsh about it, to the

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Speaker 3: point where they're like, you know, they would see people

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Speaker 3: like posting their coin on Instagram right right.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, for those of you who aren't

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Speaker 2: drunk and fall down douchebags who had a life and

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Speaker 2: parents who loved you and didn't give you bloody Mary's

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Speaker 2: to wake you up, a coin is something you would

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Speaker 2: get if you reached a month of sobriety a day.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes we have such low standard.

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Speaker 4: It's one day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you get a little coin, But I didn't

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Speaker 2: notice the coins. They're real shitty at for so one hour,

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Speaker 2: coins like plastic like looks from the worst casino in

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Speaker 2: the Midwest. But then they get to be where they're

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Speaker 2: like brass, oh beautiful and so anyway, so people would

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Speaker 2: post their coins, that would people get pissed off?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well people would be like, oh, you're breaking you know, anonimity,

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Speaker 3: Like that's breaking an a tradition, an a tradition. And

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Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, you know, the fear there is that

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Speaker 3: someone's going to post their coin or they're like talk

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Speaker 3: about their sobriety, and then people will start to follow

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Speaker 3: that person and be like oh, like like you know

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Speaker 3: the AA works because of bo McDowell, right, well.

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Speaker 4: Which is why I'm fine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and like and then if obviously something happens where

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Speaker 3: you know, a guy goes out and drinks a bunch

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Speaker 3: of booze after like building this, you know, like a

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Speaker 3: Mark Maron would be a good example, like everyone kind

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Speaker 3: of knows he goes to AA.

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Speaker 2: I didn't till now, but thanks.

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Speaker 4: Well good, I'm breaking it.

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Speaker 2: But no, but it's it doesn't talk about it. It doesn't

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Speaker 2: make himself the higher power.

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Speaker 4: No, he doesn't.

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Speaker 3: And it's like if if he ends up having some

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Speaker 3: struggles and has a relapse or something, you know, it's

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Speaker 3: it's on like the public to be like okay, well

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Speaker 3: that's not like AA's fault, right right, Like he this

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Speaker 3: is something that happens in the journey of an alcoholic,

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Speaker 3: right right, And like we you know, it shouldn't disprove

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Speaker 3: AA being a good thing, right right, just because that happens.

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Speaker 3: So it's you know, for me, I'm like, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 3: not trying to I'm not trying to like promote AA

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Speaker 3: or even me.

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Speaker 4: In that way.

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Speaker 3: It's just like, yeah, man, this is what I've been through.

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Speaker 3: And if you need help, don't call me, go go

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Speaker 3: figure out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So if someone was to call you for help, you'd

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Speaker 2: be like here's a list of meetings. You wouldn't say

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Speaker 2: I'll get on the phone with you or I'll talk

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Speaker 2: to you or whatever unless you sponsor that.

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Speaker 3: Right, And like this is you know, when I was

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Speaker 3: new in recovery, I was like, you know, give me

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Speaker 3: a call straight and y out because.

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Speaker 2: Because ego, Yeah, dude, you get the big.

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Speaker 3: Ego hit of like, oh they're calling me, I'm helping

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Speaker 3: all these people.

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Speaker 4: I'm pretty much, you know, like smartest guy.

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Speaker 2: Helpful, ever, ruggedly, handsome, beef.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, the christ.

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Speaker 2: I'd like this. There's a podcast called it's a really

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Speaker 2: big podcast called Sounds Like a cult, and every time

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Speaker 2: they do an episode, it's about something that has little

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Speaker 2: culti vibes, so or is it? And at the end

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Speaker 2: they vote is it actually a cult? So if they

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Speaker 2: they'll do like Starbucks, Stanley Cupps anything, And they did

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Speaker 2: a twelve step one and ends up it has very

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Speaker 2: few culty qualities, but a could tip into culty if

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Speaker 2: they start worshiping the person instead of the program or

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Speaker 2: even having any sort of worship at all.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well that was my beef with like a Russell Brand,

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Speaker 3: where like he wrote his own book that your only.

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Speaker 2: Beef with Russell Brand didn't help.

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Speaker 4: Well, we're talking about this pre right, yeah, pre right.

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Speaker 3: But he wrote a book and he was like he

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Speaker 3: rewrote all of the steps and they were like hey, man,

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Speaker 3: like it doesn't take Like that's not smart to be like,

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Speaker 3: you know step one, unfunck yourself. You're like, oh, it's genius. Wow,

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Speaker 3: Like you basically just reworded a bunch of shit and

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Speaker 3: then was like, yeah, you can follow me now, and

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Speaker 3: it's like, well that's fucked up. Like you got help

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Speaker 3: from a thing and now you're trying to become the thing.

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Speaker 3: Like that's a serious god complex and you're a scumback,

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Speaker 3: you know, so like shit like that really bothers me.

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Speaker 3: And that's where I think the tradition can really get broken,

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Speaker 3: is when people start to put themselves above the you know,

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Speaker 3: the thing that helped them right. And I know I

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Speaker 3: would never do that, you know, but I'm I'm more

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Speaker 3: like if someone calls, like, there is that ego hit

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Speaker 3: and you do want to be worse, you know, I

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Speaker 3: got some ideas for you, you know, and like you

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Speaker 3: don't really know. Like the more longer I'm sober, the

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Speaker 3: more I realize I don't really know shit, and so

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Speaker 3: many people are dealing with so many like every everybody's

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Speaker 3: experience is very like it's the same, but also like

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Speaker 3: they're dealing with its set of circumstances and mental shit

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Speaker 3: that like I can't always I'm not like, you know,

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Speaker 3: I'm not licensed.

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Speaker 2: Well that's the thing too. I didn't know there were

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Speaker 2: people in those meetings until a friend of mine told

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Speaker 2: me her, who is it? Her nephew started going to

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Speaker 2: AA and he has a severe mental issues and she goes,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, someone punched him out at the meeting.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god, what happened? And she

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Speaker 2: told me because he just pushed a guy too far

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Speaker 2: after a meeting, trying to talk to him and talking shit.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, so aa, guys are human who

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Speaker 2: can beat someone up in a meeting? I mean that

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Speaker 2: I asked you and you're like, oh, yeah, that's stuff happens.

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Speaker 2: So it's all these perfect souls.

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Speaker 3: It's also not a very well organized thing, right. It's

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Speaker 3: like you're going to a church and there's a room

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Speaker 3: that a guy rented and was like, we're gonna have

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Speaker 3: a meeting here, and it's like whoever saw it on

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Speaker 3: a schedule online line and going like all right, I'll

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Speaker 3: show up, can just walk in, So you don't know

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Speaker 3: who's gonna be there. Also, there's people there that are like,

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Speaker 3: I'm an alcoholic, but it turns out they're just super

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Speaker 3: mentally ill, right, and they're you know, they're doing or

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Speaker 3: they're just in a really weird place in their life

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Speaker 3: or their marriage, or they're they're just falling off the

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Speaker 3: deep end in all different ways. So you don't really

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Speaker 3: know what anyone's going through. So it's best to just

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Speaker 3: be like, hey, man, if the if the literature speaks

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Speaker 3: to you, like I can try to walk you through that.

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Speaker 3: But like, but like if you need like help, help,

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Speaker 3: like we're gonna we're gonna get a doctor involved, We're

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Speaker 3: gonna get people that like know things on that level.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm just a guy who like doesn't drink you know,

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Speaker 3: alcohol anymore.

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Speaker 4: I'm not.

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Speaker 2: So that's really what you have to offer is your experience.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's all we get, you know, to be able

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Speaker 4: to help.

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Speaker 3: I mean there's people that go into more like sober

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Speaker 3: coaching and they can get licensed in things, and like

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Speaker 3: I think that's great, right, but you know, for for

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Speaker 3: most people, it's just like, yeah, I don't drink anymore,

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Speaker 3: and I'll tell you about my experience.

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Speaker 2: So sharing the story is the deal.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean that's what helped me. You know.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have somebody sit down and go like you

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Speaker 3: need to take all these medications and figure out they

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Speaker 3: were just like, hey, you know, I stopped fucking you know,

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Speaker 3: paying attention to every feeling I have and like getting

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Speaker 3: you know, going off the handle all the time and

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Speaker 3: just started living a simpler life and showing up and

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Speaker 3: doing simple things right and like accepting that like I

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Speaker 3: don't need to feel good all of the time, and

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Speaker 3: like there's going to be large periods of time where

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Speaker 3: I might not feel good and that's okay, yeah, and

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Speaker 3: like we're going to get through it. And like, I

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Speaker 3: think that's really a lot of what I love early

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Speaker 3: sobriety because it's there's so few times in your life

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Speaker 3: where the deck is cleared, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: where it's just like, all right, I have one thing

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Speaker 3: I need to do. It's stay sober. Show up. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's it, dude, Yeah, and like call a guy and

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Speaker 3: go all right, you know, I stayed sober at the

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Speaker 3: end of the day, and that's like it. And it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you get fired, you could you know, you know, your

280
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Speaker 3: girl could leave you. All types of shit could happened,

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Speaker 3: but like this is really the only thing that matters,

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Speaker 3: and everything else is just noise around that thing, because

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Speaker 3: everything you've collected in your life up to that point

284
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Speaker 3: is pretty much on the table to get thrown out

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Speaker 3: because you're a fucking drunk. And let's be real, like

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Speaker 3: what did you you know what I mean, Like did

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Speaker 3: you really not to say.

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Speaker 4: Like every marriage, but like there's a lot of people.

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Speaker 3: I know who when they got to AA the person

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Speaker 3: they were dating wasn't such a great influence.

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Speaker 4: Yes, you know why because they were fucking drunk when

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 2: Or they were somebody who had to rescue them hundred

294
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Speaker 2: percent had to be the fixer exactly, which I always

295
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Speaker 2: sort of did the fixer role with guys of like

296
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Speaker 2: why is he smoking pot from morning till night? I

297
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,600
Speaker 2: can fix this. I remember I flushed. I told the

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Speaker 2: guy to flush the whole thing, or I was breaking

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Speaker 2: up with him. Yeah, oh my god, that works out great.

300
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Speaker 2: He did flush the whole thing. But I was like,

301
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Speaker 2: I guess that didn't fix it because you guess what

302
00:14:58,960 --> 00:14:59,480
Speaker 2: get more?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.

304
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Speaker 2: So I think it's also just you're gonna be in

305
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Speaker 2: that first year on that what they call that pink cloud,

306
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,800
Speaker 2: which is the best because you're just like, oh, this

307
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,920
Speaker 2: feels so good. I see life through new eyes.

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Speaker 3: Right, And like, honestly I miss that shit because like

309
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,600
Speaker 3: life gets hard and there's just like I'm married now,

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Speaker 3: and you know how that goes, and it's just like no,

311
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,760
Speaker 3: but it's just like life just picks up and then

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00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,200
Speaker 3: you're like, I, you know, you become accustomed to the

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Speaker 3: fact that like alcohol is in a part of my life.

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Speaker 3: You know, you go like, yeah, I'm not dealing with

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Speaker 3: that day in day out, you know, And but you

316
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,480
Speaker 3: start dealing with other things day and day out. You

317
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 3: start dealing with other fears and worries, and your life

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Speaker 3: gets bigger and you know you have great blessings that

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Speaker 3: you know, you know. But like at the same time,

320
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Speaker 3: it's it's nice to like look back and go like, man,

321
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,640
Speaker 3: remember when it was just like, yeah, I mean, dude,

322
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Speaker 3: I used to go pick up a buddy of mine

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Speaker 3: from he was living in a homeless shelter, and I

324
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,120
Speaker 3: would go pick him up every day after work and

325
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Speaker 3: we would go to a meeting and we would like

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Speaker 3: go eat something at a diner and then go home.

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Speaker 4: I did every day.

328
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Speaker 2: But that's like open mics, dude.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, very very similar.

330
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Speaker 2: Absolutely, It's just like a bunch of homeless dudes, Yeah,

331
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Speaker 2: doing five minutes of comedy.

332
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Speaker 4: Yeah, and just the whole open mics are more hopeless,

333
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Speaker 4: if any.

334
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Speaker 2: Guarantee because they think they have talent. Oh my god.

335
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 2: But no, those are like the early days of anything

336
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,400
Speaker 2: is so much fun. Yeah, it's simple, simple, that's all

337
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 2: you're thinking about, right.

338
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Speaker 3: It's the thing you really like fall in love with

339
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,880
Speaker 3: about it is that like, you're going to see these

340
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 3: little improvements and it's exciting. And then when when once

341
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,640
Speaker 3: you're expected to have something figured out and you're expected

342
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 3: to like have your life moving in a certain direction,

343
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,920
Speaker 3: then there's then he starts to get that anxiety and

344
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 3: fear and all that stuff. Then you know, that's why

345
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,680
Speaker 3: they say just keep working, man, because it's like more

346
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,919
Speaker 3: shit you get in your life, the more you have

347
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,280
Speaker 3: to like give back and go like, Okay, what am

348
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,080
Speaker 3: I what am I still afraid of?

349
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:13,919
Speaker 4: You know what?

350
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:18,360
Speaker 3: Am I still yeah? Taking for granted and just being

351
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 3: a dick about you know what? Am I not giving up?

352
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:25,160
Speaker 2: Speaking of taking for granted? Celia's here, we take her

353
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,200
Speaker 2: for granted. We ramble for twenty minutes and don't even

354
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 2: introduce her. But Bo, you're shockingly fascinating. Honestly, I know you.

355
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,600
Speaker 2: I see you at least once a week at the diner. Yes,

356
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,679
Speaker 2: I don't find you that compelling, but now I do

357
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 2: because you're focused. You're concentrating. So we almost missed Celia.

358
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,800
Speaker 2: Say hello Celia. Hi, Celia needs to go get her

359
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,800
Speaker 2: teeth cleaned. I noticed they were dirty, so just to

360
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,320
Speaker 2: go soon.

361
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 5: I don't even think I need to because like somebody

362
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,480
Speaker 5: lost weing told me that I had pearly whites.

363
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,640
Speaker 4: No, you do well.

364
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,879
Speaker 2: The reason you have pearly white teeth is because you

365
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 2: go every six months for cleaning, and you're not like

366
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,760
Speaker 2: some crazy person who never goes.

367
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I'm not good about the alignment of my teeth.

368
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,879
Speaker 5: I need in his line.

369
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 2: Oh, let me get they get them, but I don't.

370
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 2: You don't want you don't really want them.

371
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,199
Speaker 5: I get really bad migraines, and to me, that's not

372
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,600
Speaker 5: worth a migraine.

373
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 4: Migraines.

374
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,639
Speaker 5: I'd rather pass away than have a migraine.

375
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 2: People bet I fully think you should not get it then,

376
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 2: and they're kind of the acceptance of your uneven child.

377
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 5: I don't hate them, they're just they're not terrible space teeth. Yeah,

378
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 5: you know what's.

379
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,760
Speaker 2: Wrong with her? She has to pick on herself. They

380
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,800
Speaker 2: always with these girls. I used to have a friend

381
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 2: who go his sister would always want to do something

382
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 2: different with her hair. You get to mess with yourself

383
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,199
Speaker 2: all the time. Women were too critical. We look in

384
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 2: the mirror and we got to go, Oh, my tooth,

385
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 2: my left eye tooth is a counterear away from the

386
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:54,720
Speaker 2: other one. So who cares accept it? Yeah, if you

387
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,640
Speaker 2: know the numbers of your teeth, there's a problem. But Celia,

388
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 2: where can people find you? Bitch? Celia Underscore Underscore? So

389
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:07,679
Speaker 2: my colon mother's com Okay, No, what is is it?

390
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 5: Just that Celia Underscore Underscore Romano is my name?

391
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 2: She's in a good mood today?

392
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:15,160
Speaker 4: Wait?

393
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 5: I actually am? I really am? I'm I took like

394
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 5: a new prescription that I have yesterday and I think

395
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,919
Speaker 5: it's really messed with me.

396
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 2: Wait for mental illness or for like like.

397
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 5: Mentas mental is it for? I don't know?

398
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 2: I think which which met?

399
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:32,320
Speaker 5: Is it? Abuse?

400
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 3: Bar?

401
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,439
Speaker 2: What's that supposed to work on? I'll tell you if

402
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 2: it's working today.

403
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 5: I don't know.

404
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 2: Well, why are you just taking things that you don't know?

405
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,640
Speaker 5: I know it's like I I don't know. I think

406
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,280
Speaker 5: it's it's a supplement to my SSRI and I don't

407
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 5: like it.

408
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 2: Who told you to take it?

409
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,640
Speaker 5: My psychiatrist?

410
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 2: Okay? Good, because who knows what you internet kids? You

411
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 2: meant read on a wellness No?

412
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 5: I would never okay, but I just I think it's

413
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 5: not it's not my friend?

414
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 2: Could we give it a minute to work?

415
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 5: I don't want to feel like this ever again.

416
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel no wonder you're so pleasant today.

417
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,360
Speaker 5: No, I feel like I'm just really hungover and I'm

418
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 5: not you know what I mean. Like, I feel like

419
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,719
Speaker 5: I woke up extra nauseous and like headache and as

420
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 5: if I didn't sleep at all, and I didn't sleep much.

421
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 5: But I feel like I'm I'm restless.

422
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 2: Did you call the shrink?

423
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 5: No, I'm going to call him after the dentists. Okay,

424
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 5: well I've got I've got a book of that. I

425
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 5: myself out because this is not right.

426
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 2: But were you on these mental health drugs?

427
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 4: No?

428
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: Have you ever?

429
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 3: Oh?

430
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, they pushed them my way.

431
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

432
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 3: I took him when I was young, which is the

433
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 3: best time to start. And yeah, they I.

434
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 2: Hope he actually needed. Trust me, no one's taking you

435
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 2: off those ever. You'll be buried in a coffin, gripped

436
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 2: tightly to the fucking bottle exactly. The orange bottle is

437
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:57,680
Speaker 2: her best friend.

438
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 5: It is, Yeah, multiple orange bottles.

439
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 2: I assumed.

440
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, Well, I mean listen, I think if you

441
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 3: need it, you need it.

442
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 4: I think that sometimes things get a little overprescribed these

443
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 4: days would be nice thing.

444
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 2: But yeah, because that was your circumstance.

445
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, my circumstance was like doctors were like, hey, you

446
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,959
Speaker 3: know what about this a pharmaceutical rep in the other day,

447
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,679
Speaker 3: he's got this when we throw this in there, is

448
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 3: it just because.

449
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 2: You were hyperactive or something?

450
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 3: Like?

451
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 4: I was just a shitty kid.

452
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 3: I was like very like, you know, I was always

453
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 3: in trouble, always out, you know, doing drugs and get

454
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 3: high and drink drinking and and like bad at school.

455
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,959
Speaker 3: And you know, I had parents that wanted not that

456
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: to be the case, right, and.

457
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 4: They were like, well, maybe we take him to a

458
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,679
Speaker 4: you know, a shrink or whatever.

459
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 3: And then the shrink goes, Yeah, this kid just like

460
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 3: doesn't have any interest in like participating in the life

461
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 3: that his parents want for him.

462
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 4: Maybe if we give him.

463
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 3: Some drugs, like it'll like make him able to do it.

464
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 4: And then it didn't.

465
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 3: It was the opposite effect. It was like more drugs

466
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,399
Speaker 3: I took, the more I spun out, the more you know,

467
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:10,479
Speaker 3: uncomfortable I was. And like, you know, so I had

468
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 3: a lot of friends that were all on like all

469
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 3: the add meds and you know, klonipin and its annex

470
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 3: and all that shit.

471
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 5: And clonapin is my bestie.

472
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:20,479
Speaker 4: Yeah.

473
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 2: No, I think if you need it, you need it.

474
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 2: Like we have a good friend who's on for depression.

475
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 2: I think it's fantastic. I love that medication is so

476
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 2: accepted now. Yeah, but also like it sucks that you

477
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 2: had the experience of like, oh, maybe it's something else

478
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: that I need and not this, and maybe it's not

479
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 2: you know, having the life your parents wanted for you, right,

480
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 2: you know.

481
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

482
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 3: And the older I got and the more I like,

483
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 3: you know, talk to more doctors and talk to better doctors,

484
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 3: the more Like I remember sitting down with a shrink

485
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 3: one time and I was like, what are we fixing?

486
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 3: And he was like just like moodiness And I was like,

487
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 3: well I don't. I don't fucking need to pay that,

488
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 3: and you're just you're.

489
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 2: Immonal at that point, you know what I mean, Like

490
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 2: every boy or girl who goes through puberties becomes a

491
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 2: mental patient. Yeah, And it's like, as I remember once,

492
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 2: I uh, I filmed U TV special and it was

493
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 2: like the height of my career. So it was the

494
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 2: HBO special and I was super sad two days later. Yeah,

495
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 2: so I was like maybe I have a depression, Oh

496
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 2: my god, And I'm like, I'm forty something years old

497
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 2: and it never done. And I'm like, no, you're just

498
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 2: sad it's over right. So you just feeling the feelings

499
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 2: is so hard that sometimes we I jumped to the

500
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 2: quick fix when on Well buttre and I was like, well,

501
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 2: I don't need it. Yeah, it's fine, dude.

502
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 3: And I think about the things that I was you know,

503
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 3: I had such anxiety when I was a kid, and

504
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 3: then I think about like what I was doing and

505
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 3: I and I'm like, yeah, that would give me anxiety,

506
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

507
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: Like I just stopped doing that thing.

508
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 4: Yeah.

509
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 3: I was driving in here and I passed by Terminal five,

510
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 3: that club over there, and I was like, oh shit, man.

511
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 3: When I was seventeen, I took too much acid and

512
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 3: I was running around here and I was like, oh yeah,

513
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 3: that's you know, like that's why you have anxiety is

514
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 3: because like every weekend is like, let's see what we

515
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 3: can put on, you know, down our throat to run crazy.

516
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,159
Speaker 4: You know.

517
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 3: So it's like you can't. It's hard to treat mental

518
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 3: health when there's an active addiction or just active craziness happening.

519
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: So like that's what I ended up getting with doctors.

520
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 3: It's like, hey, man, let's get off the drugs and

521
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 3: the alcohol. We'll get a baseline and then we'll decide

522
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 3: if you need.

523
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 4: To be medicated.

524
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 3: And once I got there, they were like, no, you're

525
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 3: just I mean, you're you know, you're pissed a lot

526
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 3: of time, and you're dick sometimes and whatever, but like

527
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 3: you're not mentally you know, you don't need like drugs.

528
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 2: Well pissed in a dick that's like a really good

529
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 2: assessment of you.

530
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, yeah, that's where I'm at.

531
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 2: Has your ever since you stopped how many years ago?

532
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 4: Did you stop? Nine years?

533
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: Okay? So have you your being angry or your dicky qualities?

534
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 4: Oh, I've gotten better?

535
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, like when I was when I the thing is

536
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 3: is like you go like this right, So like when

537
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 3: I first got sober and was really working hard on it,

538
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:18,719
Speaker 3: like I was much more agreeable and kind and and

539
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 3: like I didn't have as much of an edge because

540
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 3: I was just like okay, like I'm I'm really getting

541
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:27,360
Speaker 3: into this spirituality. And then you know, as as other

542
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 3: you know, life starts to pick up, like you might

543
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 3: lose some of that spirituality all of a sudden, you

544
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,679
Speaker 3: get that edge again, you start being a dick and

545
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 3: then you know, and now it's like I have all

546
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 3: going on in my life. I'm you know, I'm newly married,

547
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 3: and I have a lot of stress, and I'm going like, Okay,

548
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 3: I'm not as good as I'd like to be right now,

549
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,919
Speaker 3: but I'm not you know, I'm not causing abuse or

550
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 3: doing anything horrible. I just I know like what my

551
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,879
Speaker 3: baseline is and what I can be right And I

552
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 3: think that's where. You know, it's just a lifetime of work.

553
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: So what's that know to do?

554
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 4: It's a single too. I mean, focus on gratitude. Drink yeah,

555
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 4: get the get the booze out. No, but just to like,

556
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 4: I mean, you got to slow down and just.

557
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 3: Be blessed for what you have right now and know

558
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 3: that like the people around you are not trying to

559
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,719
Speaker 3: actively get in your way, right, and like you're not

560
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 3: entitled to everything working out.

561
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 4: Like dude, I'm the most Yeah, you.

562
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: Can't get a little white boy sometimes.

563
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean it's bad. Yeah, And I you know,

564
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 3: I grew up around a bunch of white kids with money.

565
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 3: I saw a bunch of white kids with money get

566
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 3: drunk and lose their life or whatever. And then I

567
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,400
Speaker 3: saw them come back and get sober, and I was like, oh,

568
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 3: it's it's so hard for those people to get sober

569
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,960
Speaker 3: because there's such miserable, fucking assholes who expect expect every yes,

570
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 3: and they just and it's like, well, I don't understand.

571
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,640
Speaker 3: Are you saying that my life for the next few

572
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 3: years is gonna suck? It's like, yeah, well, because you

573
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 3: fucking you ruined it, like you actively ruined your life

574
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 3: and now you're like weirded out that, like it has

575
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 3: to be hard, you know, like why why am I

576
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 3: not landing in this soft, fluffy place like well, because

577
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 3: you have been for the last ten years and the

578
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 3: money's running out, yeah.

579
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,239
Speaker 2: You know. And and they have to get comfortable with

580
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 2: not being comfortable because getting sober, I would imagine it's

581
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: super uncomfortable. And somebody AA or any of the programs

582
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,199
Speaker 2: doesn't just hand you something. You got to show up

583
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 2: and do the work. So they, for the first time

584
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 2: in their lives, have to go, oh, I don't.

585
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 3: Like feeling this right, And there's no mommy and daddy

586
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 3: that can just walk in and take it away from me.

587
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 3: And there's nothing I can take and you know that's

588
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 3: that's one of the benefits of like programs, and like

589
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 3: hitting a bottom is like once you hit that point,

590
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 3: if you've got to try to go out and drink

591
00:27:50,920 --> 00:28:03,120
Speaker 3: or do drugs, like it doesn't work anymore. You know,

592
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 3: like you you are still you're always thinking about the problem.

593
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 3: Like I remember I remember doing like lines of blow

594
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:11,199
Speaker 3: and like drinking with a buddy of mine and like

595
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 3: the whole time, I'm like, dude, aa works, you know,

596
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 3: like explaining like being like you don't understand, like this

597
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 3: is like a really good program and there's twelve steps

598
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,719
Speaker 3: and I don't want to get through into it, but

599
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,719
Speaker 3: you're gonna, you know, because like it's the only thing

600
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 3: I can think about because I'm actively doing something that

601
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 3: I know I shouldn't be doing. It's making me miserable,

602
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 3: and I know that there's this light on the other side,

603
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 3: and I can't like so I'm just gonna, Yeah.

604
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 2: How many times did you go in and out?

605
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 4: Oh constantly?

606
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 3: Like I mean I was the guy who like would

607
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 3: go to the meeting and then go to the liquor

608
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: store after the meeting, right, you know, So like there

609
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 3: was like months and a couple there were a couple

610
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 3: of years where I was going to meetings but like

611
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 3: just unable to catch any time, and I had a

612
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 3: buddy that I was like it was like my age,

613
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 3: and we would always show up to the meeting and

614
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 3: I'd be like two days.

615
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 4: And be like one day and be like, oh, nice, dude.

616
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 3: And this was every week, like me and him were

617
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 3: just always showing up at that same time, like just

618
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 3: being like, yeah, we fucking drank again and never together,

619
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 3: which I was always like, hey, why don't we just

620
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, and he.

621
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 2: Was like that would seem dirty and wrong, right, yeah, like.

622
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 4: Let's do this alone. Really be miserable, you know.

623
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 3: But like that's just how it was until I was

624
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 3: really ready to just be like dude.

625
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 2: And sometimes from when I hear a bottom doesn't look dramatic, No,

626
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 2: it's not usually like oh I was in the bathtub

627
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 2: about to, you know, slip my wrist and then whatever. Yeah,

628
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: I was like, oh no, yeah, I can't drink again.

629
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: It's like no. And sometimes it's just like oh this

630
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: is just too much.

631
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

632
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 3: It's it can be as simple as like you know,

633
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 3: your mom calling and you're like.

634
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 4: Oh, geez, I can't like this is wrong.

635
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 3: Like you know what I mean, Like you can hit

636
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 3: it at any moment, right, Like it's just the only

637
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 3: difference between a bottom and just a regular is that

638
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 3: you recognize that this is a fucking problem, you know,

639
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 3: because like I mean, you can find a bottom in

640
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 3: the many years of my life.

641
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: Yeah you can go like that's like way more dramatic

642
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 2: than was.

643
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

644
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's the only thing that makes it at

645
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 3: the bottom is like, oh yeah this is over.

646
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 4: Wow.

647
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 2: So for you the last time, so nine years ago,

648
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: you were like, yeah, this is over. Yeah wow, and

649
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 2: you didn't relapse except in your dumb Listen how stupid

650
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 2: he is. He didn't what he says, it's not a relapse,

651
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 2: but his friends joke about it. Yeah that you what.

652
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 3: I was using CBDO, which is if you don't know,

653
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 3: it's like a non you know, non what no what

654
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 3: it's like a non uh narcotic version of marijuana.

655
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 4: So it's like what you would take to get the like.

656
00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 3: Medicinal effects of marijuana and but not actually be high.

657
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: Okay.

658
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,719
Speaker 3: So there's so So I was taking that to sleep

659
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 3: because it was COVID and I couldn't sleep right, And

660
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 3: I was like it was like early I was.

661
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 4: I was out of my mind. I was just freaking

662
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 4: out about stuff, and.

663
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 3: You know, I mean I think everyone was a little

664
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 3: little and I was like, I was nervous about going

665
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 3: to a doctor, and I was like, I can't sleep.

666
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 3: I literally want like weeks where I was just not sleeping, right,

667
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 3: And I was you know, if you're like that, you're

668
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 3: out of your fucking mind, right, you know. So I

669
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 3: was like, I'm gonna get some CBD and just try

670
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 3: and sleep, and it actually worked. But then, like you know,

671
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 3: I didn't tell my sponsor about it.

672
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 2: I was like, so you knew it was a little shade.

673
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like, what am I doing?

674
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 3: And then I called him and I'm like, yeah, I

675
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 3: did that, and he's like, it's not it's not great, man.

676
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 2: So how many years ago was that? That was twenty nineteen,

677
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 2: five years ago, so you have five years sober?

678
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 4: Yeah?

679
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So does quit saying.

680
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 5: Nine CB he counts as as breaking it, because like, well.

681
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 4: This is it?

682
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 2: Does it does in the strictest sense?

683
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 4: Yeaheah. Yeah.

684
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 3: So, like I would go to meetings and then I'd

685
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 3: be like I got a few days, right, and then

686
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 3: they'd be like well what happened because all these people

687
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 3: knew me for years?

688
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 2: Oh so you did bounce it back?

689
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and I would go and since then I

690
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 4: just go, what the fuck cares?

691
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 2: But but well, this is where your ego and your

692
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 2: lack of humility shows and why you'll probably end up

693
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 2: a drunk in a gutter because you are in deny

694
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:15,719
Speaker 2: on you son up a bitch.

695
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 3: Sure, but I would absolutely, but I would like go

696
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 3: to meetings and then people would be like, you have

697
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 3: like two weeks and I'd be like, yeah, man, you know, CBD,

698
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 3: and then like it start this whole controversy in the

699
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 3: area that I would go to meetings where people be like, no, dude,

700
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 3: that's not a thing, like you know, So like I

701
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 3: every and every meeting I would go people, I would

702
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 3: have to raise my hand and go, you know, I'm

703
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 3: I'm a drunk, but I got you.

704
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 4: Know, two weeks clean now and.

705
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 2: I had that, I had five and now I have three?

706
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 4: How much?

707
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 2: You just don't fucking be stupid and do it. And

708
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 2: you knew I didn't. Secretly you knew it was wrong

709
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 2: because you didn't tell your sponsor. Course, so that's the thing.

710
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: We all know what we're doing. We're all a little shifty.

711
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we'll be like, oh who can I keep

712
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 2: this from? But now you feel like you've accepted this.

713
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's tough. I don't look at it as

714
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 4: like two breaks in my sobriety.

715
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 2: I just kind of go like, let mean two breaks

716
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 2: or breaks we got.

717
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 4: I guess a break.

718
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 2: There was never a different one, no, okay.

719
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 3: So but I just look at more as like I

720
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 3: mean like two parts, meaning like before and after. I

721
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 3: don't look at it as that. I just go like, yeah,

722
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 3: it's just I've just been trying to do this.

723
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 2: This is like part of your journey.

724
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

725
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, girl, I've been trying not to die.

726
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 2: Well, even though you're a fall down, dirty, lying drunk,

727
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 2: kind of secret drunk not drinking at this moment. Do

728
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 2: you think you'll ever pick up?

729
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 4: I don't think so, but you never know. You never know.

730
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you hang out with Nick how sober.

731
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 3: At some point the misery. Yeah, here's our first letter

732
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 3: of to date, Lisa. I've been sober for two years

733
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 3: and just started dating someone who drinks socially. He's not

734
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 3: a problem drinker, but I find myself getting resentful and

735
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 3: triggered anyway. Am I being unfair or is it just

736
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 3: one of those your recovery comes first things?

737
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 2: Who is this?

738
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 4: This is Derek thirty seven, Seattle.

739
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 2: Okay? First of all, clearly they're gaze. Yeah, because he

740
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:18,959
Speaker 2: said he's just dating a guy.

741
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 4: That's right.

742
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 2: That's all wrong on that level. I drink too if

743
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 2: I was taking it in the ass, wouldn't you, Celia? Yes,

744
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 2: she would wait a minute. So I that is a

745
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 2: weird question. I think me personally, I've seen it work

746
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 2: both ways. I have a friend who's sober and his

747
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 2: husband drinks like occasionally, and it's no big deal because

748
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 2: he's been sober so long. It wouldn't affect him anyway.

749
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 2: He's even like, come on, David needs a drink to

750
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 2: come down. But then I would think I would find

751
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 2: it hard and I might be resentful if I couldn't say,

752
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 2: in my case, be like if I can't have cake

753
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:03,439
Speaker 2: and house, I resent the boyfriend for having a cake. Yeah,

754
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 2: you know. So what do you think as someone who's

755
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 2: actually sober and gone through this.

756
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and married to a drunk I'm kidding, but I listen.

757
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 3: I think that there's something wrong with your sobriety if

758
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 3: you can't be around alcohol at all. And I think

759
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 3: that like if you know, if you're being triggered, that's

760
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 3: a that's a sign for you to focus on yourself,

761
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 3: not for you to judge what the other person is doing,

762
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 3: because if you have good boundaries, you can be in

763
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 3: a relationship with anybody. Not to say that you should

764
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 3: pick a fall down drunk, but it sounds like this

765
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 3: guy is pretty socially just having some drinks and it

766
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: shouldn't affect you at the level that does.

767
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 4: So it's like, you know, for you point the finger.

768
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 2: There's four more point back at you. Well, so the fact.

769
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 4: There's only three more, yeah, because you.

770
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 2: Wait if you're putting this and something goes right up

771
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: his ass because he's good. So I think it's like

772
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 2: if when the word resentment comes in, what he resents

773
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 2: is that the world can drink and he can't because

774
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,959
Speaker 2: it's a it's a chemical thing. He cannot drink and live.

775
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 2: So he has to work on his resentment of his

776
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 2: life circumstances and the boo, who I can't drink shit?

777
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: Is that correct? Because it really has nothing to do

778
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 2: with the husband.

779
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 3: No, it's it's like I mean, yeah, if you can't

780
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 3: handle being round it, that's on you.

781
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 2: Man, Like, what's the difference between this and someone's like, hey,

782
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 2: I work in a bar.

783
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,800
Speaker 4: I'm idiot.

784
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So basically there are bounds.

785
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 4: There's other places to work. You know.

786
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 2: I was trained at American Bartending Academy. I got my certificate.

787
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's it's.

788
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 2: It's like sort of there are lines that I remember.

789
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 4: I remember this kid.

790
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 3: They were like, well, I have to work at this

791
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 3: bar because there's music at the bar and music is

792
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 3: my higher power. And I said, well, you're a fucking idiot.

793
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 3: It's just like, you know, it's like we can build

794
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: ways to get back to where we want to be

795
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 3: and do the shit we want to do.

796
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 2: That's a slip that guy. That's a complicated bridge because

797
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 2: think about it too. Music. I can't hear it anywhere

798
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 2: else but a bar. If there's only a device I

799
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 2: could carry with me with headphones that put music directly

800
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 2: in my ear, I know I'll go invent one. I

801
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 2: know they can get to the laboratory invent one. You

802
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,360
Speaker 2: dumb hunt. I hate people.

803
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 3: I heard it all. Next letter, Next letter, h This

804
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 3: is from Cat. She's thirty three years old.

805
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 2: My target group.

806
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,240
Speaker 4: She's in shit Cago.

807
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 3: Okay, dear Lisa, I'm in love with someone who's in

808
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 3: early recovery. I want to be supportive, but I don't

809
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 3: know where the line is between helping and enabling. What

810
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 3: does a healthy relationship with a sober person act.

811
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what it looks like. No contact until

812
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 2: a year sober. Even I know you have to be

813
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 2: sober off the drug before you date. So he is

814
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 2: breaking a rule.

815
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 3: Yes, and Kat, if you are really into someone that's

816
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 3: in early recovery, there's something wrong with you exactly.

817
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: And trying to rescue, rescue, rescue, because guess what will happen?

818
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 2: Do you know this whole thing about the victim triangle?

819
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,879
Speaker 2: My shrink told me about this thing. So somebody makes

820
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 2: themselves the victim, and there's a triangle. At one side

821
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 2: you could be either rescuer or the other side is

822
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 2: the villain. So what happens is Cat is going to

823
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 2: rescue this little dopey cocksucker, this oxy addict I'm imagining

824
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 2: or drinking of the Belvedere, you know what that is.

825
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 2: And so she's gonna rescue him. She'll be the madonna

826
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 2: for a while where oh my everything, you help me

827
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: stay sober, and then she'll look askance at him one

828
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 2: night when he looks like he's going to take a drink,

829
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 2: and then he's the villain, so he gets to just

830
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 2: play this little game. So, boyfriend, if you're listening, just

831
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 2: put down the pussy.

832
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, for a year, dump the cunt.

833
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, well that was a little harsh, but that's okay.

834
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 2: It's your new bumper sticker. I think, Wait, so you

835
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 2: did you actually wait a year? I mean you were

836
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: at the time really gross.

837
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 4: I was.

838
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 2: I can't make it, but not even just that, you're

839
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: just gross. I didn't even know you then, but I

840
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: imagine you were even more heinous, yeah than when I

841
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 2: met you.

842
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll tell you.

843
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 2: Girls actually like you.

844
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 4: Oh listen, you know I could be very charming.

845
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 3: No, but I remember I was in early sobriety and

846
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 3: I bought about ten triple xcel Hawaiian shirts on Amazon.

847
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 3: I was wore those every day in the winter, and

848
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 3: then on the bottom half. I know you were wondering

849
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 3: I was. I was rocking. H I was rocking linen pants. Literally,

850
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 3: I dressed like I was going to a lou out. Yeah, yeah,

851
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 3: and it was. I mean, I was just insane, but

852
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 3: I was I'm gonna be comfortable, you know, like that

853
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 3: was my life.

854
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 4: You know, I was double shit, I'm gonna be comfortable now.

855
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,399
Speaker 3: So I was really walking around all lou out out

856
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 3: every day. And I ended up meeting someone in recovery

857
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 3: that was just far more mentally ill than I was,

858
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 3: but a nice person, and we had a little relationship

859
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 3: and yeah, she just you know, it's just it wasn't

860
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:35,360
Speaker 3: the right thing for me.

861
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 2: But you know, wait, so you didn't wait the year?

862
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 4: No, dude, I was a needy bitch. Okay you picked.

863
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 2: Up twice, first the clam and then the CBD. So

864
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 2: no one's perfect, especially you, mister bau mcdowells. So yes, this,

865
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 2: this relationship is the one in the letter Doomed. As

866
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,959
Speaker 2: doom can be step away from the drunk, he should

867
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,720
Speaker 2: step away from the clam. Next letter.

868
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 4: All right, this is from Aaron in latch Matt.

869
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 2: Is it spelled Aaron E r Iron or a r.

870
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 4: O n It's Aaron E r I in chick Okay,

871
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 4: go ahead, here we go, Dear Lisa.

872
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 3: I got married seven months ago, and I noticed that

873
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 3: my husband is eating and drinking like we're still on

874
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 3: our honeymoon. He's definitely happy, but he's getting fat. Do

875
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,439
Speaker 3: I say something? Why did my wife friend?

876
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 4: I don't like this.

877
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 2: By the way, have you like started eating like you

878
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 2: have nine rectums after the honeymoon?

879
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 4: No, but on the honeymoon I did.

880
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,839
Speaker 3: And now I'm like, I'm starting to get a little

881
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 3: bit of it under control.

882
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:39,439
Speaker 2: Yeah.

883
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I've.

884
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 3: Been doing a little bit more like Okay, we're not

885
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 3: going to eat our feelings today, Like that's yeah, That's

886
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 3: where I'm at.

887
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 4: But yeah, no, I definitely put on a future.

888
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 2: It makes sense. Well, okay, so what Celia.

889
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 5: Go said a question? Oh yes, I've seen like in

890
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 5: TV shows and stuff that people after they stop to

891
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 5: quit whatever it is to be smoking, drinking, that they

892
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 5: eat a lot of sweat eats.

893
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 2: Yep.

894
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 5: Did that happen to you?

895
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 4: Oh yeah really?

896
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 2: Oh, Celey, I gotta send you old picture. No, he

897
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 2: was so disgusting, and I don't think fat is disgusting.

898
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 2: Bo was just a disgusting human. Like he would eat

899
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 2: even now sometimes I'm like, you know, there's grease on

900
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 2: your hand right, Like he just has no awareness of

901
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 2: like the broccoli growing up of the face and all that.

902
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 2: He's gotten a lot better to eat with. Yeah, yeah,

903
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,760
Speaker 2: but yeah, you were just messy.

904
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I.

905
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 3: Mean yeah, sweets anything. I had a buddy that was

906
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 3: like obsessed with milkshakes. He put on fifty pounds just

907
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:38,399
Speaker 3: on milkshakes.

908
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 5: Wo dude, I saw him shameless, like want of lip.

909
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 5: The character gets sober and he goes to the diner

910
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 5: every single time after a meeting and they get every

911
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 5: single type of pie.

912
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 2: Well at the diner that you always know when there's

913
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 2: a sober table, Yeah, because it's always a table, really

914
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 2: long table of guys who look almost homeless, but just

915
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 2: a counter above homeless. And you're like, oh, those guys

916
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 2: are in program. Yeah, you know, and it is really

917
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 2: a tradition of going. You go out after I even

918
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 2: remember you.

919
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 5: It is key bonding. You know, they have not chips

920
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 5: after the meeting too, you know, like we all support

921
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 5: each other.

922
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 2: Well, I do like that. I used to go to

923
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 2: this meeting for I guess Coda in Westport, Connecticut, and

924
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 2: afterwards it was like a diner thing. But then I

925
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 2: started going to an alan on in Fairfield and the

926
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 2: women just are so repulsive as humans. That all they

927
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 2: did was complain at the lunch after about their husbands

928
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 2: who are drunks, And I'm like, and in my head,

929
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 2: I'm going, well, why are you with him? I can't

930
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 2: fuck with women who stick with a drunk. I just

931
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 2: that's my limit. I couldn't do it. But I'm like, really,

932
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,359
Speaker 2: you love him? How much fun is it living with

933
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 2: that guy? But also again, they're rescuers big time.

934
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you have no talents for anyone.

935
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 2: That's stuck I have, I'm like, get help. I like, yelled.

936
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 2: There's a woman in my comedy class, my adult class,

937
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: who I just got sick of her shit. I like

938
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 2: her a lot. She's so fucking talented, and I got

939
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 2: so mad because she's so good but won't even do

940
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 2: an open mic that I thought I was kidding, but

941
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:21,240
Speaker 2: I said to her something like, you really need somatic therapy.

942
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 2: I mean, you really got to shake out why you're

943
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 2: not moving forward. And she's like, my age. I go,

944
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 2: if you don't call my fucking coach, don't come back

945
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 2: to comedy class.

946
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 4: Yeah.

947
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 2: So he and I get on a zoom and goes, oh,

948
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 2: by the way, thanks for the referral. I'm like to

949
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 2: who like I forgot Yeah, and he goes to so

950
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 2: and so and I go, she called you goes, Yes,

951
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 2: she told me that you threatened her that you wouldn't

952
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 2: let her back at the class, and I go, I

953
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 2: don't remember that, but it sounds like me.

954
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 5: I probably would have cried.

955
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, she didn't. And guess what she said. Her life

956
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 2: is changing. She's not crediting me, She's just going I

957
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 2: finally had a look at all that stuff. Yeah, so

958
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like I'm a higher power. But anyway,

959
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 2: back to the subject at hand.

960
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, Wait.

961
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 2: Should she what about his fatness? What's the question?

962
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:08,720
Speaker 4: Definitely happy, but he's getting fat? Do I say something?

963
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,760
Speaker 2: He knows there's a mirror, there are pants that aren't

964
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,680
Speaker 2: quite fitting the way that you used to. I remember

965
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 2: thinking when I was overeating and stuff. Oh that's a

966
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 2: sign of me not working on something within me, and

967
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 2: my coping mechanism is eating. There's something wrong here inside me.

968
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know, would you? I mean, it's

969
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 2: different with women and men. I think if you tell

970
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 2: a woman she's getting fat, it's all over. It's done,

971
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,760
Speaker 2: because their self image is so based on that, because

972
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 2: of society, what would you do if say your wife

973
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,959
Speaker 2: said to you bo, you're putting on a few.

974
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,720
Speaker 3: I would probably be like, yeah, I know, I'm very

975
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 3: like open about like where I'm at with my you

976
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 3: are so she's like he's almost as like she'll be

977
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 3: like you actually look good like you look and I'm like,

978
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,919
Speaker 3: you don't understand, Like I understand, I'm disgusting. I'm way

979
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 3: more harsh on myself than she is. And I feel like,

980
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 3: you know, women give a lot more of rope with that. Yeah,

981
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,959
Speaker 3: you know, like they're just you're they they're a little

982
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 3: bit kinder. But if yeah, if my wife ever was

983
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 3: like struggling with her weight, I would probably never say anything,

984
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 3: and I would probably ask how she's feeling about, like

985
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,439
Speaker 3: you know, like life, how are you doing?

986
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:30,359
Speaker 4: Like what's going on?

987
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:34,760
Speaker 2: Well, see your wife, I met her once. She's quite small.

988
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 2: She could gain a few.

989
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 4: Yeah you do you know what I mean?

990
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 2: Like she's not a person oh red flag she got

991
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 2: up suicides four she's fat. So so it's like I

992
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 2: think with women too, like oh, it's just so tied

993
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,000
Speaker 2: to their self worth. A lot of guys are just

994
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 2: fat and happy right there, Toady Beer, Yeah, she used

995
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 2: to call you bow bear. I wanted to throw up.

996
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 2: I was like what because I remember one day you

997
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:03,319
Speaker 2: were like you were so stupid you forgot what was

998
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:06,799
Speaker 2: it Valentine's Day? Yeah, it was your first Valentine's Day.

999
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 2: She's away on a business trip. I go, so, did

1000
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 2: you send flowers to the hotel?

1001
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1002
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 2: And you're like, whoa what? And I go, dude, that's

1003
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 2: the move, Like you're you're barely dating. You gotta send

1004
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 2: her the flowers.

1005
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:23,800
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1006
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 2: Okay, So I go, what do you? I ordered them

1007
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 2: for you? And I go what's on the card? And

1008
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:32,720
Speaker 2: you go, oh, whatever, stupid ship you said, and sign

1009
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 2: it bo bear. I'm like, I'm gonna throw up, like literally,

1010
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 2: you owe me dinner for this stupid having to type

1011
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 2: the words bow bear.

1012
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 4: But you just have to do Yeah.

1013
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 2: I know you got me. But yeah, So it is

1014
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 2: really delicate with male female ship like that.

1015
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, but you're right, we.

1016
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 2: Know we're gaining, yes, and we know it's almost like

1017
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 2: you you don't like excellently fall in a bag of

1018
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,399
Speaker 2: Chip's head for you fat fuck. It's so sad. It's

1019
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 2: almost like if he was self aware, he could say, uh, honey,

1020
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 2: I know I'm getting a little I'd love to explore

1021
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 2: what's going wrong with me or what's going on, but

1022
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 2: most people have such shame around food and body image

1023
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 2: stuff that they won't say that.

1024
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1025
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 3: And I also grew up with the mom that like,

1026
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 3: if I gained any weight, like she would like pull

1027
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 3: my shirt up and like touch my belly in front

1028
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 3: of my friends, be like.

1029
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,800
Speaker 4: Oh, look, he's putting on some pounds. So like wow.

1030
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 3: Like I like, if someone's gonna be like, hey, you're

1031
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,719
Speaker 3: putting on weight, I'm like, yeah, Well, so.

1032
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 2: My advice to them is that she should divorce him, yes,

1033
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 2: because he's getting fat and it's gonna get worse. Disgusting, disgusting.

1034
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 2: Bo thank you so much for being a guest today.

1035
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: Are you happy you came in?

1036
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 4: I'm thrilled.

1037
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 2: Are you so happy you're going to stay for a

1038
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 2: second episode? Because we got to literally none of the

1039
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 2: questions I had prepared for you.

1040
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 4: All I wanted to.

1041
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 2: Do was talk about like relationships after and during sobriety

1042
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 2: and things. So stick around Bow Where can they find you?

1043
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 2: Once again?

1044
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 4: At Bau McDowell comedy, Bo is spelled b e au.

1045
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:19,240
Speaker 2: You, which, by the way, all right, this asshole. I'm

1046
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 2: a big fan of weddings. Well, when Bo got married

1047
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 2: last year, sadly, I already had plans. No, I really did.

1048
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 4: I was.

1049
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 2: I was pissed that I couldn't go, but it was something.

1050
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,399
Speaker 2: It was kind of you got married last minute, even

1051
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 2: though she's not even knocked up. I know, so was

1052
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 2: volunteer for you to be this stupid. So I get

1053
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 2: the freakin' invitation and they used their formal names. I

1054
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 2: almost threw up this pretentious white parents of yours named you.

1055
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 2: Listen to this name Celia guy.

1056
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 5: I put him in security.

1057
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 4: I know it.

1058
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,240
Speaker 2: It was horrible.

1059
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 4: Go ahead say it, James de.

1060
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 2: Okay, I like it. It's fucking stupid, and I'll tell

1061
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:07,320
Speaker 2: you why. Because they're white trash living in Wilton, Connecticut

1062
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 2: above their means, don't got a possible pot to pisson.

1063
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 2: And they named themselves after a French fag, kind of

1064
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:16,320
Speaker 2: like a salad dressing. That's what it sounds like. It's dumb.

1065
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 2: You really are the Royalty of Wilton.

1066
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 5: It kind of sounds like one of my like southern

1067
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,240
Speaker 5: guy friends names like they would be named.

1068
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 2: I know, and they actually probably have some breeding and money,

1069
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 2: unlike the low life's race who raised him. No, it's

1070
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 2: not sad.

1071
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 4: They're fine folks.

1072
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 2: Bou debaujaljel oh. I hate you. We'll find them or don't.

1073
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 2: At Bow McDowell Comedy and listen. I'm gonna have to

1074
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 2: do nix't job, which I hate. Thank you for listening. No, okay,

1075
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 2: I'll do it. Okay, wait, thanks for listening so insincere.

1076
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Bo

1077
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 2: that felt worse. I didn't mean either. Okay. If you want,

1078
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:08,840
Speaker 2: send us a letter to shrink this show at gmail

1079
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 2: dot com. Also make sure to follow me at least

1080
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 2: Lamani and listen to the podcast on the iheartapp or

1081
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,880
Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcasts. Bitch