1 00:00:01,720 --> 00:00:03,280 Speaker 1: All media. 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 2: Hey, motherfucky's and motherfuck ats. Wow, that's not how I 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 2: should introduce this anyway. Hello everybody, Robert here, and this 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 2: is our last week of what you might call him 5 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: rerun episodes. We are still on vacation here at cool Zone, 6 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 2: having a great time. Actually not on vacation. We were 7 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 2: on vacation, but this is the week where I have 8 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 2: to write so that we can catch up and have 9 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 2: episodes for you all in the new year. But you know, 10 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 2: because I have one more week of blessed relative freedom, 11 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 2: here's another fucking rerun. Enjoy it. I love you what 12 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 2: doing an episode the podcast that I do. I'm Robert 13 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 2: Evans very badly introducing another podcast of Behind the Bastards, 14 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 2: the show where we talk about the worst people in 15 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 2: all of history, and here to help help me today 16 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 2: is one of the best people in all of history. 17 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 2: Jamie Lot. How you doing, Jamie. 18 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm having a lovely day. I'm too cold. 19 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 2: Bruce Deep ooh too, Cole, Bruce Deep. Are you feeling 20 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 2: optimistic and and and positive about the world. 21 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,479 Speaker 1: I'm feeling like who we talk about today is gonna 22 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: might end up actually being a pretty good guy. 23 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 2: That's a good guy. 24 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: That's how I go into every Bastards episode. Now, I'm 25 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: just like, you know what, this guy's gonna end up 26 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 1: being pretty nice. 27 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 2: I think I might change my opinion on this fella. 28 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: I think that I'm going to really have some arguments 29 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 1: in his name. 30 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 2: You you might have a couple because the guy we're 31 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 2: talking about today is Kaiser motherfucking Wilhelm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 32 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 2: your reaction was pretty intense when I told you that 33 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 2: right before the episode. 34 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: I was, well, I'm never allowed to know in advance. 35 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: And then I just and then I sit down, and 36 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: it's what fresh hell in terms of in terms of person, 37 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: in terms of facial hair, in terms just in every 38 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: this is a brutal one for me, strictly on a 39 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:11,519 Speaker 1: facial hair level. 40 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 2: You're not a fan of his Walris mustache, Listen. 41 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: I respect someone who makes a choice. 42 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 2: Right, he made a choice. You have to give him that. 43 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 1: I will hand it to him. Much like Robert Pattinson 44 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: in the Lighthouse, he is making a choice. Choices don't 45 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: always work out. This is actually I think this is 46 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: one of the first subjects that I actually like. No 47 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 1: affair amount about I took a I took a in 48 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: high school. For some reason. My last two years of 49 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: high school I only learned about World War One. 50 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 2: That's great, it was. I love World War One. 51 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I stand and we stand. 52 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 2: You have no choice to stand. Oh the so good. 53 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: The trench I love there. We like acted out the 54 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: assassination and of Archduke friends Ferdinand. 55 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,920 Speaker 2: It was a black one of my favorite assassinations. Of 56 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 2: the assassinations. 57 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 1: The fashion, the fashion, the fashion, the trench helmets that 58 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 1: didn't stop bullets. 59 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: I love them, you know what, you love it. It's 60 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:15,679 Speaker 2: also good. 61 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: An underrated World War I amo, oh yeah. 62 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, way better than the sequel. 63 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: In my opinion, I totally agree sequel is over hyped. 64 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 1: We get it, you know. 65 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 2: I mean, I'll pick Terminator two over Terminator one. I'll 66 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,239 Speaker 2: pick Aliens over alien But I'm going to pick World 67 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 2: War One over World War Two every day of the. 68 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: We're going to pick the Cheeta Girls two over Cheatah 69 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: Girls one. And that's a controversial opinion. 70 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 2: For those cheating girls. 71 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: I know you don't wrong. I'm still I had to 72 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: tell you who Ariana Grande was last year, which is 73 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: something that it just I still it still shakes me 74 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: to my marrow that that happened. Wells are wait, no, 75 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: we can't stark the show until you know who the 76 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: cheat girls are. You don't know who the Cheata girls. 77 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 2: Are, but of course I don't. 78 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: I know, But I'm just always waiting for girls. They 79 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: wish they do, wish they were like the Spice Girls, 80 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: but they're a band that was started by well some 81 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: great novellas for young girls. But it's it's like Raven Simone. 82 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: Two of the girls, shit, yeah right, she's the alpha, 83 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: and then two girls from three l W which you 84 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: also don't know what that is, and then a fourth 85 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: girl who has dropped off the face of the planet. 86 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 1: We don't know what happened to her. The point is 87 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,359 Speaker 1: it was good. The singles were fine, and they wore 88 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 1: track suits. 89 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 2: Oh I do love tracksuits. I am a big tracksuit fan. 90 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: I love people in matching track suits. They wore like 91 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: complimentary pastel track suits. And then the second one they 92 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: go to Barcelona. 93 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 2: I think when it comes to like you're talking about 94 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 2: the fashion in World War One and how good it was, 95 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 2: I hope when we have our next World War that 96 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 2: it's basically the same as World War one, but we're 97 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,719 Speaker 2: all wearing tracksuits, like that's that is my dream. 98 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: Imagine the Yeah, World War three will be waged in 99 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: juicy couture head to toe like form fitting track suits. 100 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 2: Yes, comfortable waistbands by god. 101 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't want those royal ten in bombs track 102 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 1: suits missing. 103 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 2: I want like all those goddamn belts and. 104 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: Like the yeah, the ones that have like rhinestones on 105 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: them and that till you don't know who's on what side. 106 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but the color of the rhinestones. Yeah, it'll 107 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 2: be a great war. 108 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that this is actually going to be 109 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 1: the best World war yet. 110 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,280 Speaker 2: I feel like we have a real chance to make 111 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 2: it so. But before we start, before we start another 112 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 2: world war, we should learn about one of the guys 113 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 2: who is most behind the First World War. Yes, Now, 114 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 2: one I think it's interesting about the Kaiser is that, 115 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 2: like most of the people we talk about on the 116 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 2: show make a decision at a certain point to be 117 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 2: shitty people who do like horrible, exploitative, violent things to 118 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 2: other people, like they make a choice to be bastards 119 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 2: at some point. But there's also another less common category 120 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 2: of bastards who are just sort of born into it. 121 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 2: They have bastardy, you know, thrust upon them by the 122 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 2: circumstances of their family and the time they live in Sure, 123 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 2: which doesn't like make them mitigate the evils they perpetrated 124 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 2: or remove their agency entirely, but I think it makes 125 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 2: them more sympathetic figures than guys like Hitler or Saddam 126 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 2: who kind of like dove headfirst into that, right. And 127 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 2: Kaiser Wilhelm is like, once you understand his whole backstory, 128 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 2: you're kind of like, yeah, you were a piece of shit, 129 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,679 Speaker 2: but like, how could this story have ended? Well? 130 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: How could you? Yeah? How could you have learned? Who 131 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 1: would you have learned how to be a good person from? 132 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 2: Exactly? Like how was this not gonna suck? And that's 133 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,840 Speaker 2: the story of Kaiser Wilhelm. 134 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 1: Oh that's a good that'll be the name of the biopic. 135 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, how could this have not sucked? Yeah? 136 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,479 Speaker 1: Okay, cool? Yeah. 137 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 2: Kaiser Wilhelm was born of the hollenz All Learned dynasty, 138 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 2: a family of German nobles whose history stretches back nearly 139 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 2: a thousand years. To understand where he comes from, we 140 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 2: have to start this episode but talking about his father's 141 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 2: birth on October eighteenth eighteen thirty one. Now this is 142 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: long before Germany was a thing. Prince Friedrich Wilhelm of 143 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 2: Prussia was born in Potsdam. His father was also named Wilhelm. 144 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 2: All of the men in this story are named fucking 145 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 2: Friedrich Wilhelm. And I don't understand why the numbering works 146 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 2: the way it does. I don't understand any of this. 147 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: But they're all named Friedrich Wilhelm. 148 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 1: Wait is the numbering out of order? 149 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 2: It's weird. I think it's because of like their middle 150 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: names and shit, because they have a bunch of names 151 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 2: other than Friedrich Wilhelm, but they're all known as Friedrich Wilhelm. Yeah, 152 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,239 Speaker 2: it's very dumb. 153 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: The god I don't like when rich people try to 154 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: bamboozle me. 155 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't have to have the same name, God 156 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: damn it. Yeah, I would love it if the reasoning 157 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 2: for that was just that the common people like couldn't 158 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 2: be trusted to learn a new king's name. But I 159 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 2: know it's something dumber and more arrogant than that. 160 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: It's still it's still like I don't know, like, why 161 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: are there five hundred Hollywood agents named Scott and that 162 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 1: are all the same man? 163 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 2: You know, it's Oh, that's that's nominative determinism. That's because 164 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 2: if you're born Scott, you get fast tracked into Cia. 165 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: You got it. There's a lot of you know, the 166 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: Scotts and the Mics, and you know we love them, 167 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,559 Speaker 1: but do we can we tell them apart? 168 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 2: No, now, So Prince Friedrich Wilhelm, who is the dad 169 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 2: of the Prince Friedrich Wilhelm will be talking about this episode, 170 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,439 Speaker 2: entered the world second in line to the throne of 171 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 2: Prussia after his brother, the Crown Prince, who was also 172 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:40,119 Speaker 2: named Friedrich Wilhelm. His parents had a typically loveless royal marriage. 173 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 2: His father was in love with Princess Elise Radziwill of Poland, 174 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 2: but she wasn't noble enough for a hohenz Allern to marry, 175 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,839 Speaker 2: so he had to marry one of his relatives, Augusta, 176 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 2: while vowing that he would never give his heart to her. 177 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 2: So this is how the relationship that leads to Kaiser 178 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 2: Wilhelm starts. Now, as you might expect, familial compromises like 179 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 2: did not make for the happiest of home lives. In 180 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 2: June eighteen forty, King Friedrich Wilhelm the Third died after 181 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 2: forty three years of ruling Prussia, his oldest son succeeded him, 182 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 2: and Wilhelm became the Prince of Prussia. So Kaiser Wilhelm's 183 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 2: dad is now the Crown Prince of Prussia. 184 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 1: Okay, so Wilhelm, the previous Wilhelm. 185 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 2: His brother, Yeah the he his dad does his name Wilhelm, right, Yeah, 186 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: he sure does. He sure does. His dad dies and 187 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 2: his brother who is the same name as him, and 188 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 2: his dad becomes the king and he is now the 189 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 2: crown Prince. 190 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: How does that work when it's dinner time? You just 191 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: shall want I don't know. I don't know how they 192 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 1: told each other apart. It sucks so much getting it, Like. 193 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 2: Writing this part sucks because it's just incredibly confusing, Like 194 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 2: reading about royal I don't understand people who like royal 195 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 2: families because it makes me just want to start punching 196 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 2: and never stop. 197 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. I hope that there were some really disturbing nicknames 198 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: in the mix. It seems like the only way that 199 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: this would work. 200 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. So when he was eighteen, a 201 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 2: very right wing general named Leopold von Gerloch told Kaiser 202 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 2: Wilhelm's dad that he envied the Prince's youth, for he 203 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 2: would no doubt survive the end of this absurd constitutionalism 204 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 2: because there were a lot of democratic movements going through 205 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 2: the German states at this point, including Prussia, which is 206 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 2: when they established the Reichstag and stuff like that, So 207 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,119 Speaker 2: people are starting to get a voice in this period. Monarchs, 208 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,959 Speaker 2: you know, when we talk about the Kaisers, we're not 209 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 2: talking about absolute monarchs. They have more power than obviously 210 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 2: the British royal family, but they're not like the czar, 211 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 2: like they don't need to just make yeah yeah, yeah. 212 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 2: So Prince Friedrich, the Kaiser's dad, was actually a fan 213 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 2: of the growing democratic movements in Germany. He was a liberal. 214 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,079 Speaker 2: He was a very progressive guy. He believed that the 215 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 2: people deserved a constitution that would guarantee their rights and 216 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 2: protect them from like nobles just wanting to do whatever. Okay, Yeah, 217 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 2: the Kaiser's dad's actually a pretty chill dude. 218 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 1: He's not like the other Kaiser's or prince. 219 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 2: He's he's a prince. He's yeah, he's the crown prince 220 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 2: at this point, the prince, which is like the next 221 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 2: in line for the throne. There's a fuckload of princes, 222 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,599 Speaker 2: the crown Prince is the one who's going to be 223 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 2: the king next. Okay, yeah, that's the way it works 224 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 2: all over in all the different royal families, right right, 225 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 2: So the Kaiser's dad again, who's also Prince, Wilhelm, spent 226 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,080 Speaker 2: a shipload of his youth in England due to a 227 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 2: friendship with the British royal family that was orchestrated in 228 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 2: part by our old pal, King Leopold of Belgium. Oh, 229 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,839 Speaker 2: this is actually one of the nice things Leopold did, 230 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 2: because the goal of it was basically, I have all 231 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 2: these If these royal families start fucking and marrying a bunch, 232 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 2: then they clearly will never fight in a war. 233 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 1: Wow, Leopold, what a problem solving. They're like, well, what 234 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: if this whole family fucked each other? That would really 235 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: solve politics? And he was right for a while there, 236 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: for a. 237 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 2: While there, for a while there. If he if he'd 238 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 2: been to the American South, he would have known that 239 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 2: having a family that fucks each other does not stop 240 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 2: them from shooting at each other. 241 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: But alas I mean, the American South once again coming 242 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: out on top. They're way ahead of their time in 243 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 1: terms of fucking and also killing their family. 244 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Now, in eighteen fifty five, Prince Wilhelm was 245 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 2: invited to Britain without his parents to stay with Queen 246 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 2: Victoria and her family and proposed to the Princess, who 247 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 2: was also named Victoria, because the British royal family is 248 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 2: just as insufferable as the German Yeah. Now. Happily enough, 249 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 2: it turns out that the Kaiser's dad and his mom, 250 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,840 Speaker 2: Princess Victoria, were actually a very rare love match, which 251 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 2: doesn't happen often in royal marriages. Yeah, and they weren't 252 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 2: closely related, which is also great. 253 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: So. 254 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,079 Speaker 2: By the summer of eighteen fifty eight, Princess Victoria was 255 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 2: pregnant and expecting. This was not treated with joy by 256 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,680 Speaker 2: Queen Victoria. She considered this horrid news which would all 257 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 2: end in nothing. Because the Princess got sick almost immediately 258 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 2: and stayed ill throughout much of the pregnancy. Queen Victoria 259 00:12:55,720 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 2: was not an optimist. Yeah. The royal doctors assured everyone 260 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 2: that things would be fine, but the Princess's midwife, Miss Innocent, 261 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 2: knew it a single look that the pregnancy would not 262 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 2: end well. 263 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,439 Speaker 1: Miss Innocent yeah, named. 264 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,199 Speaker 2: After Pope Innocent. 265 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: I think, oh, that's what I feel like. I had 266 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,319 Speaker 1: a shirt this so that in junior high different meaning 267 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: I had miss Innocent, miss independent after the Kelly Clarkson song. Yeah, 268 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: miss that was. 269 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 2: That's another pope. 270 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,199 Speaker 1: Yeah angel one percent devil. 271 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,960 Speaker 2: That yet another pope. A lot of popes that you 272 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 2: had shareds based off. He was the He was of 273 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 2: the popes, one of the top, I mean. 274 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 1: Pretty close to being a complete angel. 275 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Now we don't know precisely what went wrong with 276 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,720 Speaker 2: Kaiser Wilhelm's birth, but it is certain that the doctors 277 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 2: who managed the birth fucked up in some way. Some 278 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 2: of this is due to the fact that the infant 279 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 2: Kaiser was a breech berth. At that time, in Central Europe, 280 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,479 Speaker 2: about ninety eight percent of babies born in breach were stillborn, 281 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 2: so almost all of the babies born this way died. 282 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,199 Speaker 2: But obviously the Kaiser had the very best doctors. I mean, 283 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,079 Speaker 2: you might argue that his doctors did a great job 284 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 2: of bringing him through a live but no one at 285 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,959 Speaker 2: the time said so. The princess would later write of 286 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 2: the bungling way she was treated, and it seems like 287 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 2: what happened is while they were pulling him out of 288 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 2: the birth canal, they basically ripped his left arm off 289 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 2: of his body and fucked it like like did They 290 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 2: didn't sever it, but like ripped the muscles and shit. Ugh, 291 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 2: So he has his arm as fucked up from the 292 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 2: jump now. The princess was confined to bed rests after 293 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 2: the birth for a month, but both she and the 294 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 2: child survived, albeit not without permanent damage. When the birth 295 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 2: was announced to the people of Prussia by a field marshal, 296 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 2: the baby prince was described as as sturdy, a little 297 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 2: recruit as a heart could wish to see. But the 298 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 2: obstetrician told a different story. The infant was seemingly dead 299 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 2: to a high degree. No show. Yeah, that's never described it. 300 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: That is absolutely savage take on that infant. 301 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, really roasting the baby Kaiser. 302 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: Jeez. 303 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 2: His survival was considered close to miraculous. And I'm going 304 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 2: to quote next from the book Kaiser Wilhelm, the Second 305 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 2: Germany's Last Emperor by John vanderkist Okay. Three or four 306 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 2: days after the birth, Miss Innocent drew doctor Martin's attention 307 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 2: to the baby's left arm hanging lifelessly from the shoulder 308 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: socket the father was told at once. When he asked 309 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 2: the German doctors, they reassured him that the damage was 310 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 2: only temporary paralysis, which would improve with a little gentle 311 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 2: massage at first, followed by exercises at a later stage. 312 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 2: This would prove to be optimistic and untrue. Even as 313 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 2: an adult, William's left arm was six inches shorter than 314 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 2: the right. 315 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 1: He reminds me of Nemo, who Robert from finding Nemo 316 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: the one that gets found. 317 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah, yeah, yeah he is. He is, And 318 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 2: like Nemo, he grows up to spark a war that 319 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 2: kills seventeen million people. That is Whatsar hasn't gotten to 320 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 2: that movie yet, but that's how the story goes. 321 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,239 Speaker 1: Well, they're all about revisionist history over there. It's a disaster. 322 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 323 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: Nemo did become yeah, like a brutal general. He's he's 324 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: actually people blame global warming for the whole like coral 325 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: reef dying off, but that's simply yeah. 326 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:17,480 Speaker 2: It's And also like the Kaiser, super anti Semitic didn't 327 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 2: come up in the movie Lunch, but really really really 328 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 2: far off. 329 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 1: If you get the feeling that they're just cutting away 330 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: just before something terrible happens. 331 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, in every scene in that movie, he has a 332 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 2: copy of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion tucked 333 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 2: beneath his good fin. 334 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 1: Oh my god. 335 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know again. 336 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 1: I love fun fat, I love movie trivia. 337 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 2: Uh So, the young Kaiser's hand looked normal when he 338 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 2: grew up, but it is the actual arm in hand 339 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 2: itself were too weak to hold anything much heavier than 340 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 2: a piece of paper. He spent his life hiding it out. Yeah, 341 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 2: it's that's fucking hard. Yeah. Yeah. If you look at 342 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 2: pictures of him, he's always hiding his left arm out 343 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 2: of sight in a coat pocket or like like kind 344 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 2: of up to his side with like a glove on. 345 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 2: And he had gloves that would help like extend the 346 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 2: length of his hand a little bit to make it 347 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 2: look more normal. 348 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 1: I've decided I forgive him. 349 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 2: Now we're cool. 350 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 351 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're going to wind up feeling very sympathetic throughout 352 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 2: a significant chunk of this until we get to the 353 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 2: parts of it where he's a giant piece of shit. 354 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,200 Speaker 1: Okay. 355 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, Now, as Vanderkiss's book notes, hiding this deformed arm 356 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 2: became a guiding motivation for the young prince. Throughout his life, 357 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,200 Speaker 2: few photographs showed his left arm clearly, let alone the hand. 358 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 2: From an early age, the art of concealing it from 359 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 2: the camer lens became second nature to him. At meals, 360 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 2: he could not manage an ordinary knife and fork, but 361 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,199 Speaker 2: his bodyguard always carried a special combined one, while the 362 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 2: person sitting next to him discreetly cut up his food 363 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 2: as if to compensate. His right hand had an iron grip, 364 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,639 Speaker 2: something he would often exploit as an adult one, greeting 365 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,879 Speaker 2: people for the first time with a vice like handshake, 366 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 2: sadistically turning the rings on his fingers inward first, so 367 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 2: as to add to the other person's discomfort. If these 368 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 2: men or women were English, he laughed heartily at their 369 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 2: winses as he made jibes about the male fist. Okay, yeah, 370 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 2: he can getting a bit of a thing. 371 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,199 Speaker 1: He's getting a bit. Yeah, I mean, I guess you 372 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 1: have to. It begs the question like, if I had 373 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: power influence as a twelve year old with a backbras, 374 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 1: would I have oppressed other people? I don't know, yes, 375 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 1: I feel. 376 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,880 Speaker 2: Like probably alteah. 377 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: Any any furious twelve year old that feels out of 378 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: place if they had the it just no twelve year 379 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 1: old to have the ability to He's the rare one. 380 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. If I had absolute power at the age of twelve, 381 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,480 Speaker 2: when I was like like an insecure, fat kid who 382 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 2: didn't know how to be social, I would have killed millions, millions. 383 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,959 Speaker 1: What wouldn't I? I know, like I was a gigantic 384 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: walking rectangle for most of my formative years. What if? 385 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: What if someone could have suffered for that? 386 00:18:54,000 --> 00:19:00,199 Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly? Yeah, Okay. Now, the Kaiser's hand was not 387 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 2: the only part of him injured by the circumstances of 388 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 2: his birth. His neck was also damaged and his head 389 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 2: tilted to the left his entire life. His left ear 390 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 2: was likewise unformed, and he was partly deaf and had 391 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 2: problems with balance as a result of this. His entire life, 392 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,639 Speaker 2: he suffered from constant ear infections and required a series 393 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 2: of surgeries, which left him eventually completely deaf in his 394 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 2: left ear and frequently subjected him to intense pain that 395 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 2: probably contributed to his infamous temper tantrums. There's also a 396 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 2: chance that he was born profoundly mentally ill, with a 397 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,160 Speaker 2: specific kind of mental illness that is common among royal 398 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 2: families as a result of inbrading. There's no proof of this, 399 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 2: and I kind of think that the other stuff explains 400 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 2: his temper, tantrums and shit more than porphyria. I think 401 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 2: it was the name of the illness, but it's possible 402 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 2: he had like a brain thing going on to got 403 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,959 Speaker 2: it now. In short, the prince who would one day 404 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 2: become the Kaiser came into this world with very serious 405 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 2: difficulties to overcome, even for a child born as wealthy 406 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 2: as a child could possibly be born. Right, His father, 407 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 2: Prince Friedrich Wilhelm, was a decent guy and handled this 408 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,440 Speaker 2: with love and support, but his grandfather, who was the Kaiser, 409 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 2: was said to have noted that he wasn't sure if 410 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 2: he should even congratulate his son on the birth of 411 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 2: a defective prince. Oh, and like one of the German 412 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 2: generals who's around when the Kaiser's like a little kid, 413 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 2: is like no one with a fucked up arm should 414 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,479 Speaker 2: ever become the Kaiser, Like you shouldn't even be alive. 415 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 2: So like this is not his parents are really good 416 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 2: and really loving, but like he also grows up in 417 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 2: this very unforgiving culture that cannot tolerate physical imperfection, right. 418 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: I mean, and being I feel like especially for like 419 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 1: young Oh god, just an emasculated twelve year old. Is 420 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,919 Speaker 1: there anything with more more potential for danger? 421 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:51,679 Speaker 2: Yeah? No, not really no. So the princess was a 422 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 2: devoted and loving mother. In a letter to his grandmother, 423 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,239 Speaker 2: Queen Victoria, the kid who would become Kaiser Wilhelm was 424 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 2: Queen Victoria's first grandchild, right so. In a letter to 425 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 2: his grandmother, his mother wrote, your grandson is exceedingly lively, 426 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 2: and when awake, will not be satisfied unless kept dancing 427 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 2: about continually. He scratches his face and tears his caps 428 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,919 Speaker 2: and makes every sort of extraordinary little noise. I am 429 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,440 Speaker 2: so thankful, so happy. He is a boy. I longed 430 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,400 Speaker 2: for one more than I can describe. My whole heart 431 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,199 Speaker 2: was set upon a boy, and therefore I did not 432 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 2: expect one. So could is very deeply loved and has 433 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,680 Speaker 2: you know kind of your best case scenario for parents 434 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:27,680 Speaker 2: in this period of time? 435 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like, sure he was a preached birth, but 436 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: at least he wasn't a girl child. We would have 437 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:33,200 Speaker 1: hated that. 438 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,959 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think I don't get that feeling 439 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 2: from her. I get the feeling more that she just 440 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 2: like number one, like one of your jobs as a 441 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,919 Speaker 2: princess in this period is to like give birth to 442 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 2: an air Like they had daughters, and she treated the 443 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 2: daughters well like they like they weren't like, didn't hate 444 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 2: their daughters. 445 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 1: That's it. 446 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, there's just a lot of shit built up 447 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 2: around having a son to continue the line, and the 448 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 2: fact that her first child was a son like that 449 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 2: takes a lot of the pressure. 450 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: Well that's good for her her because then people stop giving. 451 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 2: Her shit exactly. I think that's a big part of 452 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 2: why she feels that way. It's also you know, like 453 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 2: even today, like my friends who get married have expressed 454 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 2: preferences like, oh, I hope it's a boy. I hope 455 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,800 Speaker 2: it's a girl for whatever whatever thing they want to 456 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,879 Speaker 2: do with the kid. Like I don't get the feeling 457 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,880 Speaker 2: that like she was being shitty by saying that, which 458 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 2: you do when you hear about the czar. Well, no, yeah, 459 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 2: there it's weird, Like the czar their first kid was 460 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 2: a girl, and like his bizar, like his his wife 461 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 2: wrote to him that like, oh, I'm so sorry basically 462 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 2: that I wasn't able to provide a son. And he 463 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 2: was like, no, no, it's fine. We have a son. 464 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 2: The son belongs to Russia. This daughter, you know, is ours, 465 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 2: so we get to really just like spoil her and 466 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 2: enjoy having a child, and we'll we'll have the son later. 467 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 2: So I don't know, you get a mix of reactions 468 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 2: from the royal fans far. 469 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 1: As Yeah, as far as that situation goes, I guess 470 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 1: that's one of the better ways it could shake. 471 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:58,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, yeah, cool. So we know a lot 472 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 2: about the life and particularly the childhood of the Kaiser, 473 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 2: more than we know about the life and childhood of 474 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 2: literally anyone else I've ever talked about on the show, 475 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 2: because he was born to be king, so every scrap 476 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,119 Speaker 2: of correspondence from his parents and his teachers and his 477 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 2: relatives about him and from himself has been saved and 478 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,240 Speaker 2: is in archives. So it's fair to say there's more 479 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 2: detail on the early life of this guy than any 480 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 2: other person I've covered on the show, which is probably 481 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 2: why I'm more sympathetic about this guy, because when you 482 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 2: have that much detail to draw on, like, it's hard 483 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,880 Speaker 2: not to feel some sympathy for. 484 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,160 Speaker 1: Care when you know that much about a kid's miserable 485 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: childhood one way. 486 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, that's tough. 487 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, Nemo, that's why they made finding meme. 488 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 2: That's why they made finding names. 489 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: With a monster there. He lost his mother young, he 490 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,880 Speaker 1: got he got kidnapped by the ocean, and he had 491 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 1: a he had a difficult fin. So we should forgive 492 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,159 Speaker 1: him for his sins. 493 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, for his rabbit anti Semitism. 494 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 1: I mean, I can't say it enough. 495 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 2: It's really impossible to owe emphasize. So Prince Wilhelm was 496 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 2: baptized on March fifth, eighteen fifty nine. Queen Victoria was 497 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,480 Speaker 2: unable to attend and was represented by Lord Ragland, the 498 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 2: British commander during the Crimean War and one of the 499 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 2: guys in charge of the Light Brigade. He's that dude. 500 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 2: So that's who like represents his grandmamma at the at 501 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 2: the at the baptism. 502 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,040 Speaker 1: Well that's nice. 503 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. In general, the future Kaiser had a very British upbringing. 504 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,120 Speaker 2: His nurse, Missus Hobbs, was English. His chief doctor, Sir 505 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,920 Speaker 2: Benjamin Brodie, was also British. 506 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 1: The most British as names I've ever heard. 507 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, very Yeah, this kid is half British. You have 508 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,119 Speaker 2: to remember that because like his mom is an English princess. 509 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 2: His grandmother is the fucking literal Queen Victoria, and he 510 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 2: has he's raised by like he grew up without it. 511 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 2: He spoke English perfectly with almost no accent. You can 512 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,080 Speaker 2: listen to speeches by this guy in English and yeah, 513 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 2: you can barely notice the accent. So posh. Yeah, it's 514 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 2: impossible to overstate how intermarried and intermingled. The royal families 515 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 2: that helped launch World War One were Prince Wilhelm, the 516 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,359 Speaker 2: guy who became the Kaiser, was also the Prince of 517 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 2: Orange and in line for the throne of England. His 518 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,359 Speaker 2: current like great grandson who's alive today, is one hundred 519 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 2: and seventieth in line for the British throne. Over in Russia, 520 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 2: the tsar's wife was a German princess, and the Czar 521 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 2: and the Kaiser were cousins. All of the monarchs in 522 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,159 Speaker 2: charge of the primary belligerence in World War One shared 523 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,159 Speaker 2: grandparents and aunts and were cousins and had grown up together. 524 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 1: Those are my favorite letters I wish I haven't like 525 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,159 Speaker 1: it's been like almost ten years now, but like the 526 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,640 Speaker 1: reading through the letters between cousins where they're like, are 527 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 1: we gonna start a war, like. 528 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 2: Are we gonna are we going to get all these 529 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 2: people killed? Yeah? 530 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: So fuck, it's so bizarre being like what if I 531 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,120 Speaker 1: could just write my cousin Tammy and be like, so, 532 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 1: like how attached are we to people? 533 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 2: How much do we like four to six million of 534 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,200 Speaker 2: our young men, Like. 535 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: Just do you feel able to just it's so bizarre 536 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 1: knowing that their cousins that like, for the most part, 537 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: know each other, like, it's just very weird. 538 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, and love each other. 539 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we'd where like there's those like the letters 540 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: between Wilhelm and this and the are they're so bizarre. 541 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,639 Speaker 2: It's just yeah, yeah, you know what's not bizarre, Jamie, 542 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 2: what Robert the products and services that support this podcast 543 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 2: with their advertising. 544 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: Patron I love a product and I love a service. 545 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 2: Well here's both. 546 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 1: Okay, we're back. Oh what a nice product or service? Though? 547 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:45,919 Speaker 1: Is just described? 548 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 2: It was nice. Now let's get back to talking about 549 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,280 Speaker 2: Prince Wilhelm's misshapen arm. 550 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 1: But his plot Finn won't swim right. 551 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, his damaged arm was a matter of serious concern 552 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 2: for the Royal family or Prussian at this point, royal family. 553 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 2: His nurse rubbed massage oil on it daily to try 554 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,240 Speaker 2: and stimulate growth. Wilhelm's doctors ordered that his arm be 555 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 2: tied to the side of his leg for an hour 556 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 2: a day in order to try to force it to 557 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 2: grow normally. 558 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, he is a back brace for his arm. 559 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 2: Oh we were getting to the back brace. Oh yeah, yeah, 560 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,919 Speaker 2: Now the infant prints had almost no feeling in the 561 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,159 Speaker 2: limb and barely noticed most of this. While most of 562 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 2: his treatments were ineffective but benign, some were really brutal. 563 00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 2: And I'm going to quote now from the book Kaiservillhelm 564 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 2: the Second A Concise Life by John Roll. Okay, When 565 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 2: the infant was six months old, Professor Bernhard von Langenbeck 566 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,680 Speaker 2: of the Charite Hospital in Berlin prescribed animal baths twice 567 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 2: a week. Wilhelm's left arm was inserted into the body 568 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,159 Speaker 2: of a freshly slaughtered hair for half an hour and 569 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,680 Speaker 2: the hope that the wild animal's warmth and vigor would 570 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,880 Speaker 2: be transferred to the arm. No, this stuck him arm 571 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,800 Speaker 2: deep in a dead animal. No, why it was a baby. 572 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 1: You're just like, how is how would this grow up 573 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 1: to be a good person? This is like biblical curses. 574 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,160 Speaker 1: They're fosting upon a. 575 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 2: Baby, shove a fresh bloody corpse on the literal infant 576 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:14,400 Speaker 2: child's arm for an hour. How does that not talk 577 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 2: about it? 578 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: I hate there's someone in the room like, We've got 579 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,200 Speaker 1: to make sure that this is remembered, because what if 580 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: it works? 581 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 2: What if it works? If he's the best king ever? 582 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,000 Speaker 1: I mean science, We're going to do about science and 583 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,840 Speaker 1: the utal and does it's never gone wrong? 584 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 2: Amazing? 585 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 1: Oh god, that's again brutal. 586 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,880 Speaker 2: He's the Prince of Pruscius. So this is like the 587 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 2: best doctor you can get at the time. And the 588 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,479 Speaker 2: country Germany at this point is renowned as having some 589 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 2: of the best doctors on the world. That's really like 590 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 2: the height of medical science. 591 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 1: What is it? Does everyone else? You know? Honestly, I 592 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 1: would rather die at twenty four than have that be 593 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: my medical regimen. I would rather have died years ago. 594 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 2: It's terrible. Now. Perhaps the most damaging treatment came at 595 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 2: the direct orders of Queen Victoria. And I'm gonna quote 596 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 2: now from John Vanderkist's biography, Queen Victoria's a piece of shit, 597 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 2: by the way, Just as it heads up. 598 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: I did the I went to England over the summer 599 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:17,959 Speaker 1: brag and we did the Buckingham Palace tour because I 600 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 1: just didn't. I just wanted to see what it was like. 601 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: And the oh, the revisionism aunt like, there's no mention 602 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 1: of Wilhelm. There's no mention of you know, it's just 603 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 1: too messy. They're like, she was really nice, she hated 604 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,960 Speaker 1: when her husband died. Thanks for the forty dollars. 605 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Well here's a little bit more about Queen Victoria. 606 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 1: Hit it. 607 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 2: The princess we're talking about Kaiservillhelm's mom doated on babies, 608 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 2: and within a few days of his birth, she had 609 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 2: started breastfeeding him, to the revulsion of her mother in law. 610 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 2: Knowing Queen Victoria's views on the subject were it won 611 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 2: with hers, she the mother in law wrote to the 612 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 2: Queen asking for her approval and putting it into this 613 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 2: odious habit. Much to the young mother's disappointment, her baby 614 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 2: was comply handed over to a wet nurse whose milk 615 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 2: irritated his bowels and caused regular stomach upsets. So the 616 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 2: Queen of Prussia and Queen Victoria both hate breastfeeding because 617 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,479 Speaker 2: they think it's a gross commoner thing to do, and 618 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 2: so they make somebody whose milk makes Kaiser Wilhelm sick 619 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 2: breastfeed the baby. 620 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,160 Speaker 1: You know what, My mom did the same thing, except 621 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 1: with formula. So you know, my mom was just like, 622 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: I'm you stay away from me. Here's some NESI, here's 623 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,160 Speaker 1: some nessli chemicals. Good luck with your life now. 624 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,920 Speaker 2: Years later, his grandmother, the Empress Augusta, his other grandmother, 625 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 2: would lie to Kaiser Wilhelm and tell him that his 626 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 2: mother had refused to breastfeed him because she found his 627 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 2: arm disgusting. 628 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: Oh, but his mom was nice. 629 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 2: Oh that's his mom was nice. She's just a bitch 630 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 2: who hates his mom and is like he's like I said, 631 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,680 Speaker 2: how does this kid not grow up fucked up? 632 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,800 Speaker 1: Like I don't like I don't like women on I 633 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 1: don't like women on woman conflict. It's not fair. We 634 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 1: don't need it. It makes me upset, although it might 635 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,760 Speaker 1: did that though to my mama. 636 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's it's less damaging when the babies that 637 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 2: are getting like manipulated by the fucked up people aren't 638 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 2: growing up to be the emperors of Germany. 639 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh it's it's not. I mean, just regular fucked 640 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:17,959 Speaker 1: up people are the best. 641 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, we do enough damage as it is. Yeah, don't 642 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 2: give anyone any power. Nobody turns out great. No, everyone's 643 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 2: a disaster. Like every now and then, every now and 644 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 2: then you get a Danny DeVito, but most of us 645 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 2: don't turn out. 646 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: We're obsessed with Danny DeVito. 647 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,120 Speaker 2: I love Danny. 648 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 1: What about Billy Zayin. 649 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 2: I don't know anything about Billy z an Is he nice? 650 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: He's nice? 651 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:42,880 Speaker 2: Good? Good for Billy's aye? 652 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 1: Everyone. 653 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 2: Let's replace Congress with Danny DeVito and Billy You. 654 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,400 Speaker 1: Know what, the only two white men we can support 655 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 1: at this point. 656 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. Now. In eighteen sixty, when the Prince was one 657 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 2: year old, his doctors began giving him daily electromagnetic therapy, 658 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 2: applying constant galvanic current to his net for hours every 659 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 2: day to attempt to stimulate blood flow in his arm. 660 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 2: Electrocuting the infant Kaiser for hours a day did not 661 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:07,560 Speaker 2: work either. 662 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:14,480 Speaker 1: No kidding, God, it's just like your child has a disability. 663 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 2: We're four pages in and we haven't stopped talking about 664 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 2: the fucked up ways they damaged this kid trying to 665 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 2: heal his arms. 666 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,240 Speaker 1: We feel so God, it is hard not to feel. 667 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 2: For a you like that's a lot to deal with. 668 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 1: Hell, your family's electrocuting you because they find you to 669 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 1: be gross. That's a nightmare. 670 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 2: That's a cross to bear that it certainly is. On 671 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 2: January second, eighteen sixty one, King Friedrich Vilhelm the fourth 672 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 2: died and Princevillelm's grandfather became KAISERVILLELM the First. He was 673 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 2: sixty three at the time. Two years later, in eighteen 674 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 2: sixty three, when the Prince who would become the Kaiser 675 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 2: that we're talking about, I know this is confusing. I'm 676 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 2: going to call, like when I say King Frederick Wilhelm fourth, 677 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,400 Speaker 2: he's also a Kaiser Wilhelm. I'm only gonna call the 678 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 2: Kaiservillehelm from World War One that we're talking about this 679 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,480 Speaker 2: episode the Kaiser for the sake of like making this 680 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 2: make sense. Sure, So, when the future Kaiser was four, 681 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 2: his doctors presented him with a terrifying and barbaric machine 682 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,040 Speaker 2: designed to help him treat another one of his ailments 683 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,200 Speaker 2: see four years after birth, Wilhelm had developed torti collis, 684 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,440 Speaker 2: caused by the healthy muscles on the right side of 685 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 2: his neck pulling his head downwards in that direction. Oh, now, 686 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 2: this would obviously be way too visible an ailment to 687 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 2: possibly let the King of Prussia have the future King 688 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 2: of Prussia have. So to treat this, his doctors prescribed 689 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 2: him what his mother called a head stretching machine. 690 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: That sounds safe, sounds. 691 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,560 Speaker 2: He had to worry an hour a day every day, 692 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 2: and in a letter to Queen Victoria, the prince's mother 693 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 2: described it thusly, a belt around his waist to the 694 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 2: back of which an iron bar is affixed. The bar 695 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 2: leads up the back to something which looks exactly like 696 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 2: a horse's bridle. The head is then fixed in this 697 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 2: and positioned is desired by means of a screw, which 698 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,200 Speaker 2: is just the iron bar. 699 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 1: Ah. Why this is Oh, I feel I'm sad, Robert. 700 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 2: This sucks now. The young prince eventually went through facial 701 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,920 Speaker 2: surgery to correct this, which alleviated the problem at the 702 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,239 Speaker 2: cost of some permanent disfigurement. He was also subject to 703 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 2: an arm stretching machine, which was used on him for 704 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,240 Speaker 2: years and was similar to the next stretching machine. 705 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:38,879 Speaker 1: These are medieval torture devices. This is not helpful. Yeah. 706 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,359 Speaker 2: The thing that actually did help his arm to grow 707 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 2: somewhat was a course of regular gymnastics, which oh stuff worked, 708 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 2: figure just actual exercise. Yes, that one didn't seem to 709 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:51,920 Speaker 2: help there. 710 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: It's so I'm like, I mean, these these these doctors 711 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 1: have to have at least the foresight to give the 712 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,760 Speaker 1: arm stretching machine a confusing name so you don't notice 713 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 1: it's an arm stretching machine. 714 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I've only hearder referred to as the 715 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 2: arms stretching machine, but it probably had a fun German nickname. 716 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,399 Speaker 1: A doctor sue sounding thing. Yeah. 717 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:15,359 Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, in spite of all this horror, Wilhelm's early 718 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,760 Speaker 2: childhood was considered. He remembered it at least as fairly pleasant. 719 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 2: His mother and father were both doting parents, which was 720 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,720 Speaker 2: unusual Imprussian families of that era. He was the baby 721 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 2: of the global royal family and for a time Queen 722 00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,959 Speaker 2: Victoria's favorite grandchild. Starting in eighteen sixty three, he began 723 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,360 Speaker 2: to regularly visit his aunts and uncles and cousins in 724 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 2: Great Britain. John Vanderkiss describes him as a spirited child. Quote, 725 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,160 Speaker 2: on his way to Saint George's Chapel, Windsor, he threw 726 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,480 Speaker 2: his aunt Beatrice's muff out the carriage window. Beatrice was 727 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,160 Speaker 2: only five years old at the time and in no 728 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,919 Speaker 2: position to exercise any authority over him. Queen Victoria's youngest child, 729 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,839 Speaker 2: she wasn't always remained for her mother's baby, a name 730 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,560 Speaker 2: her nephew soon picked up. When she told him petulantly 731 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,839 Speaker 2: that he must address her as an aunt, he snapped back, 732 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 2: aunt baby. Then bored during the long marriage service, while 733 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,000 Speaker 2: most of his relations were shedding emotional tears, he pulled 734 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,239 Speaker 2: his dirk, which is a knife, from his stocking and 735 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 2: threw it noisily across the chapel floor. When his young 736 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,040 Speaker 2: uncles Arthur and Leopold remonstrated with him, he bit them 737 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 2: in the legs. 738 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 1: What a sweet kid. 739 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,960 Speaker 2: I mean, I gotta love that he bites King Leopold 740 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,600 Speaker 2: of Belgium, the slaughterer of the Congo, in the leg 741 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,240 Speaker 2: for yelling at him for throwing a knife during a wedding, 742 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:26,160 Speaker 2: Which is awesome. 743 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,920 Speaker 1: That actually does sound like what you would have done. Yes, I, 744 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,560 Speaker 1: little knife thrower. 745 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 2: Have bonded over knife throwing. I love throwing knives. If 746 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,120 Speaker 2: I anytime I get really drunk, I'm gonna throw knives. 747 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 1: I you know, I know that to be true. Yeah, 748 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,320 Speaker 1: it's great. I think I also had a shirt that 749 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:54,960 Speaker 1: said aunt baby. In middle school, there's a lot of 750 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:59,040 Speaker 1: these phrases are bringing or bring back some memories. Aunt baby, 751 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:00,120 Speaker 1: that's actually a sick. 752 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,520 Speaker 2: Burn, for that is a sick bird. He was. He 753 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 2: was not not witless. Quick Yeah, that's quick for like 754 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 2: a four year old too not bad to. 755 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,440 Speaker 1: Be like aunt bait. Fuck you on, baby, baby, I 756 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,120 Speaker 1: can't I have no punch ups. 757 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,200 Speaker 2: That's great, hell yeah kid. 758 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:18,799 Speaker 1: Now. 759 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,799 Speaker 2: In eighteen sixty four, the Prince's father, who was the 760 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,880 Speaker 2: Crown Prince, fought in the Prushio Danish War and returned 761 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:29,319 Speaker 2: home a war hero. The future Kaiser's father would again 762 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,279 Speaker 2: win laurels in the Franco Prussian War of eighteen seventy one, 763 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,640 Speaker 2: which is what led to the establishment of the German Empire. 764 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,880 Speaker 2: Some of the Prince's earliest strong memories, the future Kaiser's 765 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 2: strong memories where his father sending back captured battle flags 766 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,799 Speaker 2: and glorious reports of conquest from the front lines. So 767 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,960 Speaker 2: he grows up like with some of his earliest memories 768 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,920 Speaker 2: being his dad being a legitimate war hero, Like he 769 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 2: was really close to the front, obviously not in as 770 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:55,640 Speaker 2: much danger as an infantrymen, but he was like participating 771 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 2: in battles and leading troops in combat and stuff. Okay, 772 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,080 Speaker 2: So as he grew into an lessent, the young Prince 773 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,560 Speaker 2: gradually overcame many of his physical limitations. He learned how 774 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 2: to swim and row, and was quite good at it. 775 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,319 Speaker 2: His grandmother, Queen Victoria, was ever on the watch for 776 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 2: signs of pride from her first grandchild. She told the 777 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,880 Speaker 2: Crown Princess to bring him up simply, plainly, and not 778 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 2: with that terrible Prussian pride and ambition which grieved dear 779 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,479 Speaker 2: Papa so much, and which he always said would stand 780 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 2: in the way of Prussia taking that lead in Germany, 781 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:23,879 Speaker 2: which he ever wished her to do. 782 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,120 Speaker 1: If only the Germans were more British. 783 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,359 Speaker 2: If only the Germans were were more humble like us. 784 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,680 Speaker 2: All we did was conquer a quarter of the world's 785 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:38,720 Speaker 2: land surface, unlike these arrogant Germans notoriously. 786 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,360 Speaker 1: Chill and tolerant British. 787 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:45,560 Speaker 2: Yeah yes, yeah, now. The Prince's parents seemed to have 788 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,359 Speaker 2: listened to this advice. Starting in mid eighteen sixty six, 789 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 2: when the future Kaiser was seven and starting school, George 790 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:55,400 Speaker 2: Hinspeter was chosen to be his tutor. Now Hinspeter was 791 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 2: a Calvinist, which means he believed that only a predetermined 792 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,480 Speaker 2: elect few ever got to heaven, and the vast majority 793 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,879 Speaker 2: of humanity was destined for hell no matter what they did. 794 00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:06,960 Speaker 2: As you might expect, he was a gigantic dick. He 795 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 2: also looked exactly like the dude who played Taiwin Lanister 796 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,520 Speaker 2: on Game of Thrones, Like if Sophie looks up his picture, 797 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:17,560 Speaker 2: like exactly like him. It's really weird now. Hinspeter's educational 798 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,960 Speaker 2: program involved twelve hour days of mixed study and exercise. 799 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 2: It was, in his words, based exclusively on a stern 800 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 2: sense of duty and the idea of service. The character 801 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,000 Speaker 2: was to be fortified by perpetual renunciation, the life of 802 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 2: the prince to be molded on the lines of old 803 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:36,120 Speaker 2: Prussian simplicity, its ideal being the harsh discipline of the Spartans. 804 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:41,120 Speaker 2: Now it's here I should say a few words about Prussia. 805 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,480 Speaker 2: Prussia no longer exists as a state, or as a 806 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,920 Speaker 2: political entity in any way. Prussia's disillusion was one of 807 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,279 Speaker 2: the British requirements for the end of World War II. 808 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,879 Speaker 2: Prior to that, Prussia was the most powerful German state, 809 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 2: and the source for all of our modern stereotypes of 810 00:39:55,480 --> 00:40:00,600 Speaker 2: Germany and Germans as disciplined, sterned, humorless, and militaristic. The 811 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,400 Speaker 2: Prussian military was one of the chief military forces in 812 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,400 Speaker 2: Europe for centuries and became world famous for their discipline 813 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:10,160 Speaker 2: and skill. During the US Revolutionary War, a Prussian nobleman, 814 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:14,040 Speaker 2: Baron von Steuben, built the entire American military from scratch. 815 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,520 Speaker 2: The core of our military's organization to this day is 816 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:21,560 Speaker 2: still based along Prussian lines, So it makes sense that 817 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:25,240 Speaker 2: the young prince would be raised in a strict, militaristic, 818 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 2: spartan way. Ok. But while Prussian discipline made for an 819 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,919 Speaker 2: effective military, it also made for profoundly damaged young men, 820 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:39,000 Speaker 2: which is why we got two yeah Hinspeter declared that 821 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:43,360 Speaker 2: the growing Wilhelm could never ever receive any kind of praise, approval, 822 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,879 Speaker 2: or encouragement for any reason. He was ordered to eat 823 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,760 Speaker 2: dry bread for breakfast. When he and his siblings hosted 824 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,080 Speaker 2: their cousins, they were required to give them cakes and 825 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,279 Speaker 2: cookies without eating any sweets for themselves, no matter how 826 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:59,239 Speaker 2: well yeah, this guy's this is so fucked up, This is. 827 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,839 Speaker 1: Like calculated shit, yeah yeah. 828 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, No matter how well Princevillehelm performed, George Hinspeter never 829 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,880 Speaker 2: gave him so much as a kind word. The impossible 830 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:11,960 Speaker 2: was expected of the pupil in order to force him 831 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,160 Speaker 2: to meet the nearest degree of perfection. Naturally, the impossible 832 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 2: goal could never be achieved logically. Therefore, the praise which 833 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,320 Speaker 2: registers approval was also excluded. 834 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 1: God, yeah, just with a whole love from your child. 835 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:29,440 Speaker 1: And see that's such a ugh God, why did I 836 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,120 Speaker 1: feel like sometimes parents? I mean again, if this is 837 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,040 Speaker 1: just like every bad parenting technique turned up to an 838 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,400 Speaker 1: eleven for no reason. 839 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:40,920 Speaker 2: Amazing, how many different bad types of parenting he receives 840 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 2: from really everyone but his parents. But he's got carried so. 841 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:48,919 Speaker 1: Many sets of stop us. Yeah, God, that's so brutal. Yeah, 842 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 1: they're like, oh, watch your cousin Edith Pieza. I feel 843 00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:55,440 Speaker 1: like that happens to kids sometimes as punishment, you know, 844 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,759 Speaker 1: you're like, oh, look, everyone's gonna get birthday cake, but 845 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,239 Speaker 1: you whatever, you shit on the floor, so you got 846 00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 1: to eat a cracker. 847 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,600 Speaker 2: And some of those people grow up to be shitty 848 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:07,560 Speaker 2: managers at a sonic. But since they don't have them, 849 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,440 Speaker 2: they don't inherit the German military, so it's not a 850 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:11,200 Speaker 2: huge problem. 851 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:14,759 Speaker 1: There's a version of Wilhelm had he been from you know, 852 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,439 Speaker 1: like from a normal class of person, where he would 853 00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,440 Speaker 1: have just been a perfectly happy manager of a lids 854 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,439 Speaker 1: that didn't talk to his family that much. 855 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,000 Speaker 2: No, no, and he would have denied his employees lunch 856 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,879 Speaker 2: breaks for shitty reasons because. 857 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:31,439 Speaker 1: He's got some hurt in his heart. 858 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:35,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, the damage would have been contained, right, right, Not. 859 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,160 Speaker 1: That we condone this behavior from Lydd's managers, we don't. 860 00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:43,960 Speaker 2: But I prefer people like Wilhelm become Lydd's managers than 861 00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,360 Speaker 2: Imperial German Army managers. 862 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:48,440 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I'm listening. 863 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Now, every Wednesday and Saturday, hens Peter and 864 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,120 Speaker 2: Wilhelm would visit museums and art galleries. They would also 865 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,920 Speaker 2: visit factories, foundries, workshops, farms and the like. The goal 866 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:01,080 Speaker 2: was to show the would be what life was like 867 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:04,120 Speaker 2: for the manual laborers who actually built his country. To 868 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,879 Speaker 2: Hinspeter's credit, he also wanted the royal family to gain 869 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 2: an understanding of social inequality and the suffering of workers. 870 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,200 Speaker 2: Wilhelm was required to remove his hat and deliver a 871 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,200 Speaker 2: thankful speech at every place of business they visited after 872 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,479 Speaker 2: their tour. So Hinspeter did a lot of the job 873 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,400 Speaker 2: of raising Wilhelm, and that had positive and negative echoes. 874 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,560 Speaker 2: As we'll see. One of his big demands was that 875 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 2: the prince develop and express an opinion of every single 876 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,279 Speaker 2: person he met. This was part of Hinspeter's plan to 877 00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,279 Speaker 2: get the young man to express his views at all 878 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,600 Speaker 2: times so that he would not be dominated by his 879 00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,880 Speaker 2: advisers in the future. This one would wind up backfiring 880 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,799 Speaker 2: on the entire planet. No Now, as he grew into 881 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,120 Speaker 2: a young boy, Queen Victoria noticed some unpleasant changes taking 882 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,920 Speaker 2: over her darling grandson. He is inclined to be selfish, 883 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,080 Speaker 2: domineering and proud, but I must say they are not 884 00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,200 Speaker 2: his own faults, as they have been hitherto more encouraged 885 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,400 Speaker 2: than checked. Hinspeter taught Wilhelm to ride a horse by 886 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,000 Speaker 2: letting him fall off of it repeatedly, ignoring the Prince's 887 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,040 Speaker 2: tears and forcing him back on the horse for weeks 888 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:02,920 Speaker 2: until he got good at writing one handed, and he 889 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,160 Speaker 2: was said to be an excellent horseman. So he learns 890 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:06,720 Speaker 2: how to one handed ride a horse. 891 00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,319 Speaker 1: It's almost like they should have just let him learn 892 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,799 Speaker 1: how to do things with one hand the entire. 893 00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:13,960 Speaker 2: Time, rather than the torture machines. 894 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,600 Speaker 1: Rather than the evil torture machines. 895 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,200 Speaker 2: Jamie, your anti torturing baby's agenda has been clear for 896 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,600 Speaker 2: quite some time, and I think you might be biased 897 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:22,879 Speaker 2: on this. 898 00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,480 Speaker 1: Think you know what, it's true. And people have been 899 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,840 Speaker 1: calling me out a lot. They're like, no, but what 900 00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,680 Speaker 1: if we did torture the babies. How will you know 901 00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:31,719 Speaker 1: until you've tried it? 902 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,879 Speaker 2: How will you know until you've tried it? 903 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,120 Speaker 1: Right? And that's fair. I haven't tried it yet. 904 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:37,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, well. 905 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,200 Speaker 1: Sure of course, yeah, yeah. 906 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,799 Speaker 2: Well who are they going to tell exactly what are 907 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 2: they going to do? Because they can't speak English. 908 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,960 Speaker 1: I'm about to get a kitten, so you know it's 909 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:50,400 Speaker 1: going to be there. 910 00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,359 Speaker 2: There is a specific type of torture that you have 911 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,000 Speaker 2: to do to young kittens if you want them to 912 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:58,600 Speaker 2: be affectionate, which is that you mean from a very 913 00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:00,520 Speaker 2: young age? Do you know what the ca gun is? 914 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,120 Speaker 1: The cat gun? 915 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,880 Speaker 2: It's when you hold your cat like a gun, with 916 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:06,960 Speaker 2: its back legs as the handle and its front legs 917 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,640 Speaker 2: like a foe grip, and you pretend it's a little 918 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,200 Speaker 2: machine gun. If you do that from the time that 919 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 2: they're at what if you do that when they're a kitten, 920 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,960 Speaker 2: then they grow up just knowing that people are going 921 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,680 Speaker 2: to pick them up and fuck with them, and they're 922 00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:20,239 Speaker 2: fine with it. You know. 923 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,520 Speaker 1: You hold it with anything that you hold with two 924 00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:27,720 Speaker 1: and you're like, you know, like a machine guns, machine gun, 925 00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:32,040 Speaker 1: you pretend it's yeah, it just feels natural and right. 926 00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:33,760 Speaker 1: I'm bringing you to the hospital, Robert. 927 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,680 Speaker 2: It's it's how you raise a baby kitten, and then 928 00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,200 Speaker 2: they grow up being very affectionate. Yeah, because they just 929 00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,319 Speaker 2: know that people pick them up and do weird things 930 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,000 Speaker 2: to them and it's fine, that's nice. 931 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,520 Speaker 1: I almost dressed my dog up like a gun for Halloween, 932 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:48,920 Speaker 1: but I didn't want it to be interpreted as political, 933 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:50,480 Speaker 1: so I changed it to a knife. 934 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,200 Speaker 2: Your radical pro knife agenda has also been clear for 935 00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:54,680 Speaker 2: some time. 936 00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:57,200 Speaker 1: I have been in favor of knives. Look someone in 937 00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,080 Speaker 1: the eye. Look, I just want icon. 938 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,080 Speaker 2: Now. When Ilhelm was ten in eighteen sixty nine, he 939 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,600 Speaker 2: was awarded the Order of the Black Eagle, a Prussian 940 00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:09,759 Speaker 2: chivalric award that was supposed to be very prestigious but 941 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,280 Speaker 2: kind of loses its luster to me when awarded to children. 942 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 2: He received fucking hundreds of awards and orders in knighthoods 943 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 2: and dukedoms over the course of his life. We're going 944 00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,280 Speaker 2: to ignore basically all of them, although his biographies always 945 00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,120 Speaker 2: note whenever he was given a new one. He was 946 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 2: also inducted into the first Infantry Regiment of the Guards 947 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,520 Speaker 2: and made a German officer when he was ten years old. 948 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:36,200 Speaker 2: So yeah, he's in the military from a very young age, 949 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:41,480 Speaker 2: and he's continually gifted more military units and made honorary 950 00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:45,080 Speaker 2: member and commander of different military regiments in the Prussian 951 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,759 Speaker 2: Army over the course of his childhood. This is like 952 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:52,320 Speaker 2: getting micromachines was for me right right. 953 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:58,440 Speaker 1: Become They're nice to have, but eventually they become meaningless. 954 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:03,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, he loves he loves these. Yeah, he loves his 955 00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:09,600 Speaker 2: military unit, sure, made up of real men. In eighteen 956 00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,880 Speaker 2: seventy France and Prussia went to war. Prussia one in 957 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 2: Germany was born from here on out, the Kaisers, the 958 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,719 Speaker 2: Kings of Prussia, were kings of the entire German Empire. 959 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,320 Speaker 2: Now there were like twenty two other kings in Germany, 960 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,560 Speaker 2: but the Kaisers were like the chief kings of all 961 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:27,560 Speaker 2: of them. So that's the story. As we go in 962 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:31,160 Speaker 2: to our second AD break, still, LI think we're all 963 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,920 Speaker 2: kind of on the future kaiser side at this point. 964 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,080 Speaker 1: I like that, Robert, you choose moments to go to 965 00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,920 Speaker 1: ad breaks where I feel I'm at the peak. I'm 966 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,799 Speaker 1: on the edge of my seat and my hand is 967 00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:45,799 Speaker 1: on my wallet as well. Yeah, that could have done 968 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:47,200 Speaker 1: another way, but it went wallet. 969 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:49,920 Speaker 2: You know, you have a weird habit with that wallet 970 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,560 Speaker 2: of holding it out before ad breaks. 971 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:58,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, my hand's trembling. I'm helpless in the face of capitalism. 972 00:47:58,320 --> 00:47:59,919 Speaker 1: I need the products. I need the serve. 973 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:04,520 Speaker 2: Pull out your credit cards, everybody, ignore what the actual 974 00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,359 Speaker 2: products are and just immediately buy them without a thought. 975 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,560 Speaker 1: Don't even put in the discount, Cook. 976 00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:11,640 Speaker 2: Don't even put in the discount. Well, no, do because 977 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,160 Speaker 2: then we get Then it helps us. 978 00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,040 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, Robert, it's good for the show. 979 00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:27,440 Speaker 2: Fine, I do. Here they go, We're back. 980 00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:28,000 Speaker 1: We're back. 981 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:32,960 Speaker 2: So, after eighteen seventy one Franco Prussian War happens, the 982 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,680 Speaker 2: Prince's mother, the Crown Princess, who was you know, British 983 00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,880 Speaker 2: and not Prussian, was very concerned about all of the 984 00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:43,240 Speaker 2: war focus in her son's childhood. Again, she wanted relations 985 00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,759 Speaker 2: between Britain and Prussia to be good, and she knew 986 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:47,520 Speaker 2: there was always a chance that there would be war 987 00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,120 Speaker 2: between them, So she was very concerned, like everyone in 988 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,399 Speaker 2: Europe about prussia militarism, and she didn't want her son 989 00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,600 Speaker 2: to say, grow into a man whose ambition helped Europe 990 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,279 Speaker 2: plunge into a war that killed seventeen million people. She 991 00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:02,239 Speaker 2: didn't want that to happen a for export, I guess 992 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:03,400 Speaker 2: ay for effort. 993 00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:05,960 Speaker 1: At least it occurred to her that it might happen. 994 00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:09,600 Speaker 2: Oh, this could be a problem. So she sent the 995 00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,720 Speaker 2: future Kaiser off to Germany in January of eighteen seventy 996 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,680 Speaker 2: one to remove him from Prussia in these negative military 997 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,080 Speaker 2: influences for a while now. That month, she wrote to 998 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:22,640 Speaker 2: Queen Victoria about her son's pleasant, amiable ways. She admitted 999 00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,680 Speaker 2: that he was not possessed of brilliant qualities, nor any 1000 00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 2: strength of character or talents. But he is a dear boy, 1001 00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:30,520 Speaker 2: and I hope and trust he will grow up into 1002 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:31,759 Speaker 2: a good and useful man. 1003 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,160 Speaker 1: I've described a lot of my boyfriends that way. I 1004 00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:39,520 Speaker 1: think I'm just like he looks like shit, he like 1005 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:45,160 Speaker 1: can't seem to stay clean for some reason. But you know, 1006 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:51,640 Speaker 1: he's nice. I don't know. Grew I spill one day, 1007 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,640 Speaker 1: grow up. I'm trying to raise him as best I can, 1008 00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:59,600 Speaker 1: of course. Yeah, so you know I get it. I 1009 00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:00,080 Speaker 1: get it. 1010 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:05,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, now the bar Yeah, and you know, at some point, 1011 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,440 Speaker 2: you know, the Kaiser read these letters his mom wrote 1012 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,560 Speaker 2: about him to his grandmother, which has to have done 1013 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:10,320 Speaker 2: some damage. 1014 00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:13,000 Speaker 1: Yeah that sucks if you like, that's like going into 1015 00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,400 Speaker 1: your mom's text and finding out how disappointed she actually is. 1016 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,400 Speaker 1: You're like, oh, yikes, Okay. 1017 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,719 Speaker 2: Now the Prince loved his time in England. He spent 1018 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,360 Speaker 2: a lot of it making butter and cheese at the 1019 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,719 Speaker 2: Royal Dairy and looking over Britain's incredible collection of old 1020 00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:32,480 Speaker 2: wooden ships, normal things. He really liked England. He was 1021 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,200 Speaker 2: set for most of his life. He said that he 1022 00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,640 Speaker 2: would be happier as an English country gentleman than as 1023 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:38,439 Speaker 2: the King of Prussia. It was probably true. 1024 00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:41,600 Speaker 1: I was like that tracks yeah. 1025 00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we all wish that had been the case. 1026 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:47,080 Speaker 1: Well, honey, you and the baby. 1027 00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:51,480 Speaker 2: In eighteen seventy four, fifteen year old Prince Wilhelm started 1028 00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,200 Speaker 2: classes at Castle Polytechnic, a public school. Now, this was 1029 00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:58,040 Speaker 2: hugely controversial among and by public school, I mean in 1030 00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,080 Speaker 2: like the sense of only rich noble kids got to 1031 00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,719 Speaker 2: go there, not in the sense of everybody from all 1032 00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,600 Speaker 2: walks of life went there. But they weren't royals, they 1033 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,520 Speaker 2: weren't like aristocrats. 1034 00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:10,280 Speaker 1: It wasn't like excluicy enough. 1035 00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:14,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And this was very controversial among his family, 1036 00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,160 Speaker 2: many of whom were horrified of the idea of a 1037 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:21,120 Speaker 2: noble child competing against commoners for grades. But hins Peter 1038 00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:23,200 Speaker 2: thought it would be good for the prince, he knew 1039 00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,000 Speaker 2: was not all of that bright to be humiliated by 1040 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:29,080 Speaker 2: getting bested by his social inferiors. For some reason I 1041 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,080 Speaker 2: do not grasp, he thought that this would push the 1042 00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,040 Speaker 2: prince to develop a sense of superiority over common people. 1043 00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:36,239 Speaker 2: Like it's one of those things where at the start 1044 00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:37,960 Speaker 2: where he's like, oh, you want him to realize that 1045 00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:39,759 Speaker 2: he's not the smartest person in the room. Okay, this 1046 00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,520 Speaker 2: could actually be really healthy. Oh no, you want him 1047 00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,400 Speaker 2: to get a sense of superiority of people over learning 1048 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,319 Speaker 2: that they're better at school than him. How did this 1049 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:47,600 Speaker 2: track to you, Peter? 1050 00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:51,000 Speaker 1: I get it. It tracks to me because it's just 1051 00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,719 Speaker 1: I feel like that's like a way for Wilhelm to 1052 00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,239 Speaker 1: realize exactly how powerful he is. He's like, Oh, I'm 1053 00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,680 Speaker 1: dumb is rock and it doesn't fucking matter. I'm still 1054 00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,600 Speaker 1: finally like how much smarter someone is than me, I'll 1055 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:03,840 Speaker 1: just have him fucking killed. 1056 00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,960 Speaker 2: Maybe, yeah, that may that may have been kind of 1057 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:08,799 Speaker 2: the reasoning there. 1058 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:10,600 Speaker 1: I don't like that, I get it, but I think 1059 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:11,000 Speaker 1: I guess. 1060 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:14,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, at school, Wilhelms started his days at five 1061 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,560 Speaker 2: am and didn't end them until nine pm. So this 1062 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,560 Speaker 2: is this is a brutal school schedule. He was a 1063 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,520 Speaker 2: decent student, he got okay grades, but he was not exceptional. 1064 00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:26,000 Speaker 2: His best friend at Castle was Siegfried Sommer, a Jew 1065 00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:28,680 Speaker 2: in top of the class. Now this is noteworthy because, 1066 00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,640 Speaker 2: as we'll cover, the Prince grew into probably Germany's second 1067 00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:33,680 Speaker 2: most anti Semitic leader of all time. O. 1068 00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:43,600 Speaker 1: Wait, who's number one? I'm kidding Okay, Now, he's not 1069 00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,160 Speaker 1: number one at anything. 1070 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:49,680 Speaker 2: He's number two. And fairness, I will say this in 1071 00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:52,320 Speaker 2: fairness to the Kaiser, there is a big gap between 1072 00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,719 Speaker 2: two and one in most anti Semitic German leader the contest. 1073 00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,279 Speaker 2: There's a sizable gap between the two. 1074 00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:00,200 Speaker 1: This is Jojo rap it. 1075 00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:04,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't wait to see that. And you say 1076 00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:04,879 Speaker 2: that is it good? 1077 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw it the other day. I liked it. 1078 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,520 Speaker 2: It looks good. I just haven't had a chance to 1079 00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:09,319 Speaker 2: get down to the theater. 1080 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,760 Speaker 1: It's fun, it's it's a romp. 1081 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,440 Speaker 2: Jamie says, it's a romp. Check it out, people, itsicha 1082 00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:17,600 Speaker 2: plays Hitler. 1083 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:21,920 Speaker 1: I'm so. I'm so easily bothered by like child actors. 1084 00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:23,280 Speaker 1: And they got a good one. 1085 00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:25,040 Speaker 2: No, I hate most children. 1086 00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,200 Speaker 1: They're okay, well, let's take us to the next level. 1087 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,080 Speaker 1: It's good. It's good, though. I liked it. 1088 00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:34,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, Now is probably the right time to talk about 1089 00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:38,480 Speaker 2: the prince's bizarre feelings towards his mother. Now, Freud would 1090 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,680 Speaker 2: tell us that it's not unusual for young boys to 1091 00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:44,440 Speaker 2: have a childish sort of infatuation with their mother. But 1092 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:48,240 Speaker 2: even by Freudian standards, Wilhelm was fucking odd. 1093 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:51,239 Speaker 1: I mean, it's not that she's the only person that 1094 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,359 Speaker 1: was nice to him. 1095 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:56,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still gonna say this is I'm just gonna 1096 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,439 Speaker 2: read this quote from the biography Kaiser Wilhelm a concise life, 1097 00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,839 Speaker 2: and you can tell me what you can help analy Okay, 1098 00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,399 Speaker 2: This is a long one, Jamie, and there's a lot 1099 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:06,400 Speaker 2: to unpack here. 1100 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:07,080 Speaker 1: Isn't it horny. 1101 00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:13,000 Speaker 2: I let me just read the quote and we'll discuss it, okay. Quote. 1102 00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,439 Speaker 2: In the winter of eighteen seventy four or seventy five, 1103 00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:18,000 Speaker 2: Wilhelm began a series of letters to his mother in English, 1104 00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:21,000 Speaker 2: naturally recounting a recurring dream. He was having letters that 1105 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:24,120 Speaker 2: are remarkable not only for their evidently incestuous character, but 1106 00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:27,320 Speaker 2: also for their fetishistic emphasis on her gloved left hand. 1107 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,200 Speaker 2: A poignant cry for unconditional acceptance in love, if ever 1108 00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:32,839 Speaker 2: there was one. I have got the little secret which 1109 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:36,080 Speaker 2: is for you alone, viz. A peculiar dream. He wrote 1110 00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,640 Speaker 2: to Vicky, his mom, on March eighteen seventy five, shortly 1111 00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,520 Speaker 2: after her visit to Castle for his sixteenth birthday. I 1112 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,440 Speaker 2: dreamt last night that I was walking with you in 1113 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,160 Speaker 2: another lady and walking you were discussing who had the 1114 00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,960 Speaker 2: finest hands, whereupon the lady produced a most ungrateful hand, 1115 00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:53,560 Speaker 2: declaring that it was the prettiest, and turned us her back. I, 1116 00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,640 Speaker 2: in my rage, broke her parasol. But you put your 1117 00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,759 Speaker 2: dear arm around my waist, led me aside, pulled your 1118 00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:02,400 Speaker 2: glove loved hand off your dear left hand, which I 1119 00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,000 Speaker 2: so often kissed at castle, and showed me your dear 1120 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,799 Speaker 2: beautiful hand, which I instantly covered with kisses. Wilhelm hoped 1121 00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,520 Speaker 2: that his dream would become reality. I wish that you 1122 00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,720 Speaker 2: would do the same when I am at Berlin alone 1123 00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:17,520 Speaker 2: with you in the evening, and he continued, craving reassurance. Pray, 1124 00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:19,719 Speaker 2: write to me what you think about this dream. It 1125 00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,719 Speaker 2: is quite true as I have written it, you say. 1126 00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,280 Speaker 2: I always think of you, my dear mamma. I sometimes 1127 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:26,120 Speaker 2: dream of you. I am so glad that soon we 1128 00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:28,880 Speaker 2: will sit together in your dear library and sit together. 1129 00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:32,040 Speaker 2: But this dream is alone for you to know, he insisted. 1130 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,279 Speaker 2: Several days later, the dream recurred. I am very glad 1131 00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,000 Speaker 2: that you liked my little secret about your dear hands. 1132 00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:40,560 Speaker 2: Since then I have again dreamt about you. This time 1133 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,400 Speaker 2: I was alone with you in your library when you 1134 00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,440 Speaker 2: stretched forth your arms and pulled me down to your 1135 00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:46,880 Speaker 2: chairs that my head rested on your left arm. Then 1136 00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:48,920 Speaker 2: you took off your gloves and laid your hands gently 1137 00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,319 Speaker 2: on my lips for me to kiss it, asking me 1138 00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:53,440 Speaker 2: at the same time if I remember dreaming about you 1139 00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,000 Speaker 2: I instantly seized your hand and kissed. Then you gave 1140 00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,960 Speaker 2: me a warm embrace, putting your right arm around my 1141 00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,920 Speaker 2: shoulder and neck, and got up and walked round the 1142 00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:00,719 Speaker 2: rooms with me. 1143 00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:08,919 Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's odd, right, So that's peculiar. He's 1144 00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,880 Speaker 1: just like writing his mom being like, I want to 1145 00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:13,720 Speaker 1: fuck you? Is that okay? 1146 00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,160 Speaker 2: I want to I want to fuck your hands. 1147 00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,879 Speaker 1: Well that's well, I think, well that's like very telling, right, 1148 00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,520 Speaker 1: that he's like fixated on hands and arms. That makes 1149 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:25,560 Speaker 1: sense because everyone like it's obsessed about. Of course, that 1150 00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:30,240 Speaker 1: this man becomes this like erotic fixation left a left 1151 00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:31,600 Speaker 1: hand fetish if. 1152 00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,000 Speaker 2: You will, Oh, that's just. 1153 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:37,920 Speaker 1: Like baby boy, put it in your journal and then 1154 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:39,040 Speaker 1: light it on fire. 1155 00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,600 Speaker 2: Do not send it, burn that fucker. 1156 00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:46,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, send to mama and wait so waits So we 1157 00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:50,719 Speaker 1: there was h He sent a letter and then presumably 1158 00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:54,000 Speaker 1: got a reply that was like, yeah, tell me more. 1159 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:56,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're going to get into that a little bit. 1160 00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:57,319 Speaker 1: Now. 1161 00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:59,799 Speaker 2: I've read a few biographies of Wilhelm, and most of 1162 00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:02,640 Speaker 2: them mention this weird fixation, but they kind of breeze 1163 00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,480 Speaker 2: past it, like they'll note it was weird, but they 1164 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,960 Speaker 2: don't go into that much detail. Ralph's book is the 1165 00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:09,640 Speaker 2: one I found that really does the best job of 1166 00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,880 Speaker 2: highlighting how fucking peculiar this all was. 1167 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to. 1168 00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:13,279 Speaker 2: Continue quoting here. 1169 00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the hand fixation's very telling. 1170 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, he could hardly wait for his dream to 1171 00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,360 Speaker 2: be fulfilled. In eight days, he wrote, we will go 1172 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,480 Speaker 2: to Berlin and then what I dream about we will 1173 00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:26,720 Speaker 2: do in reality when we are alone in your rooms 1174 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:31,760 Speaker 2: without any witnesses. No, this is the second secret. He's 1175 00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:35,080 Speaker 2: like fourteen or fifteen, he's yeah, he's like a little 1176 00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:35,960 Speaker 2: horny teens. 1177 00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:40,280 Speaker 1: For mama, Oh, okay, kiss, sorry, keep eying. 1178 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:43,480 Speaker 2: This is the second secret. For you. Pray, write to 1179 00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:45,400 Speaker 2: me what you think about it, and promise to do 1180 00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:47,400 Speaker 2: so really as you did in my dream to me, 1181 00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:50,560 Speaker 2: for I do so love you. The Correspondent's continued in 1182 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:53,360 Speaker 2: this vein for several months. In May eighteen seventy five, 1183 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,960 Speaker 2: he urged his mother again to keep your promise you 1184 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,360 Speaker 2: gave me at Berlin. Always give me a loan the 1185 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,800 Speaker 2: soft inside of your hand to kiss. But of course 1186 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:02,680 Speaker 2: you keep this as a secret for yourself. 1187 00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:09,240 Speaker 1: Over to him. Yeah, definitely, he's like, your left hand 1188 00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:13,200 Speaker 1: is a pussy, like that's his energy. Okay, so yeah, 1189 00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:14,640 Speaker 1: we keep going. Wow. 1190 00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:16,840 Speaker 2: With less than four weeks to go before the holidays, 1191 00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:19,320 Speaker 2: he wrote, thanking her for her most recent letter. How 1192 00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:21,320 Speaker 2: glad I was to see the promise written down that 1193 00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,360 Speaker 2: I could kiss your hands as much as I liked. 1194 00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,040 Speaker 2: Be sure of it, I shall do it shortly before 1195 00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:29,160 Speaker 2: their reunion. Willhelm could hardly contain his excitement, calculating that 1196 00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:32,160 Speaker 2: it was now only days or eighty four hours, or 1197 00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:34,600 Speaker 2: in five forty minutes or in three hundred and two 1198 00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,240 Speaker 2: four hundred seconds before he would be able to embrace 1199 00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:40,640 Speaker 2: his mother again in Potsdam and kiss her sweet beautiful hands. 1200 00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:45,400 Speaker 1: Yeah hands, Robert, Yeah. 1201 00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:48,920 Speaker 2: The man likes man loves his mom. 1202 00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:52,760 Speaker 1: To touch mommy's hand. I well, here's my question. What 1203 00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,520 Speaker 1: is she replying to this? Because it doesn't sound like 1204 00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:59,480 Speaker 1: she's saying, please stop talking about fucking my hands. 1205 00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:02,960 Speaker 2: I think we can forgive the Crown Princess for not 1206 00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:06,520 Speaker 2: knowing how to respond to her teenage son's sexual obsession 1207 00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:07,160 Speaker 2: with her hands. 1208 00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:09,240 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get a feel for like, is 1209 00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:10,880 Speaker 1: she weirded out by it but doesn't know how to 1210 00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:13,240 Speaker 1: handle the situation, or is she like this is. 1211 00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:16,640 Speaker 2: Cool she's weirded out, she says. You know. At first 1212 00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,520 Speaker 2: she's like, okay, yeah, you can kiss my hands, and 1213 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:20,480 Speaker 2: she tries to like move the letters along to something 1214 00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:25,960 Speaker 2: more normal. She tried to, and then she tried politely 1215 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,840 Speaker 2: ignoring it. She would return his letters to him with 1216 00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,800 Speaker 2: like the spelling corrected and stuff, correcting his grammar and stuff, 1217 00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:32,360 Speaker 2: and not really. 1218 00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:34,680 Speaker 1: How he wants to fuck herate, like, if you're gonna 1219 00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:36,880 Speaker 1: suck my hands, say say it. 1220 00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:42,240 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, we can safely say. She felt very strange 1221 00:59:42,240 --> 00:59:44,560 Speaker 2: about it, and eventually she did what she thought was 1222 00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:47,360 Speaker 2: the responsible thing and pushed her son away just a 1223 00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:51,000 Speaker 2: little bit to try and like get some distance boundaries. Yeah, 1224 00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:55,560 Speaker 2: he found this deeply painful. This led to a start 1225 00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:59,160 Speaker 2: of a split between mother and son, which many, like 1226 00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:02,000 Speaker 2: people who like write about the Kaiser, have seen as 1227 01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,800 Speaker 2: the seeds of the split between Germany and Britain. As 1228 01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,440 Speaker 2: the future Kaiser began to push back against the British 1229 01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:11,080 Speaker 2: site of his ancestry since his mother was British, so well, 1230 01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:17,680 Speaker 2: it's significant repercussions. I mean, you can't blame her, she said, 1231 01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:20,080 Speaker 2: like what do you do? What do you do you do? 1232 01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:24,640 Speaker 1: Someone shut up about wanting to kiss your hand like that. Yeah, God, 1233 01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:26,320 Speaker 1: what it's predicament. 1234 01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:28,520 Speaker 2: That's what a predicament. 1235 01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:32,080 Speaker 1: And then you think back of like, well, maybe if 1236 01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:35,120 Speaker 1: everyone wasn't complaining about this kid's hands his whole life, 1237 01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,280 Speaker 1: he wouldn't have this weird, horny hand thing. 1238 01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:41,880 Speaker 2: And again, this is why you shouldn't have kings or 1239 01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:45,040 Speaker 2: leaders with any kind of significant amount of power like this, 1240 01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:48,560 Speaker 2: because like they grow up with like this weird hand 1241 01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:52,120 Speaker 2: thing is something that like, you know, Wilhelm couldn't help, 1242 01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:54,080 Speaker 2: but he felt that way. It was where like he 1243 01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:57,600 Speaker 2: was like, this was going to happen. His mom kind 1244 01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:01,360 Speaker 2: of drawing away from him wasn't unreasonable, having really complicated 1245 01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,720 Speaker 2: feelings about England as a result of this wasn't unreasonable. 1246 01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:09,240 Speaker 2: But power, with the German Army as his inheritance, so 1247 01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:10,440 Speaker 2: it became an issue. 1248 01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:12,960 Speaker 1: You just have too much to lash out with. You 1249 01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:17,360 Speaker 1: can't just like take your mom's car, Like, yeah, god, 1250 01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:19,720 Speaker 1: I think that so far, the villain of this story 1251 01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:20,240 Speaker 1: is power. 1252 01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:23,800 Speaker 2: I know it'll be exactly but right now, but it's 1253 01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,720 Speaker 2: still mostly power, even though like there are points at 1254 01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:29,960 Speaker 2: which he does make choices that make him into a villain. 1255 01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,760 Speaker 2: The primary villain is still power. If he had just 1256 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:36,800 Speaker 2: been a normal dude and like, gotten some fucking therapy, 1257 01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:40,840 Speaker 2: I get the feeling, just knowing kind of everything about 1258 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:43,880 Speaker 2: his life. I get the feeling with a competent therapist. 1259 01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:46,200 Speaker 2: He could have been a decent man who would have 1260 01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:49,680 Speaker 2: raised a relatively healthy family and like, not damaged. 1261 01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:53,400 Speaker 1: He would have been a perfectly like, you know, in 1262 01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:57,200 Speaker 1: in offense of like whatever, guy. He just would have 1263 01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:57,760 Speaker 1: been a guy. 1264 01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:01,840 Speaker 2: I don't think he was. He inherently moved to commit 1265 01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:06,800 Speaker 2: acts of horrible evil, but he did. And yet yeah, yeah, 1266 01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,960 Speaker 2: Now Wilhelm reached adulthood and did the normal things that 1267 01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,720 Speaker 2: Prussian kids did. At that point, he joined the military, 1268 01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:14,760 Speaker 2: He went to military school, he got command of his 1269 01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:18,080 Speaker 2: first military units. Now he was noted by everyone as 1270 01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:20,360 Speaker 2: having no real ability to focus on the finer points 1271 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,000 Speaker 2: of strategy and tactics, but having a deep and abiding 1272 01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:26,240 Speaker 2: love of making men march around in fancy uniforms. It 1273 01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:28,560 Speaker 2: became instantly apparent that the prince would not be the 1274 01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:32,040 Speaker 2: great warlord that his father was. Now, on the twenty 1275 01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:35,320 Speaker 2: seventh of March eighteen seventy nine, Wilhelm's eleven year old 1276 01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,560 Speaker 2: younger brother Waldemar died from diphtheria along with one of 1277 01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:41,120 Speaker 2: his aunts. Wilhelm had been jealous of the little boy, 1278 01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:43,240 Speaker 2: who was widely seen as his parents' favorite, but he 1279 01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:45,360 Speaker 2: was a dutiful mourner for his brother and held an 1280 01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:48,320 Speaker 2: all night vigil at the coffin. He described the family 1281 01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,080 Speaker 2: pain as deep and cruel beyond words, which is a 1282 01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:52,960 Speaker 2: reasonable way to react to the death of an eleven 1283 01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:57,000 Speaker 2: year old sure, But a few months later Wilhelm was 1284 01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,680 Speaker 2: back to acting like a dick to his mom. His 1285 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:01,800 Speaker 2: little brother had owned a cat, which his mom had 1286 01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:04,320 Speaker 2: adopted once he died, and she loved the animal, and 1287 01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:06,440 Speaker 2: it clearly gave her some comfort in the absence of 1288 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,920 Speaker 2: her beloved boy. While they were out vacationing, the housekeeper 1289 01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,360 Speaker 2: of one of their vacation homes shot the cat, cut 1290 01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,280 Speaker 2: off his nose, and hung it up against a tree. 1291 01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:16,720 Speaker 2: Can did this because it was his job to ensure 1292 01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:19,440 Speaker 2: the pheasant population of the property stayed healthy so the 1293 01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:23,400 Speaker 2: nobles could hunt. Wilhelm's mother and sisters were horrified, but 1294 01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,080 Speaker 2: the prince defended the keeper, saying the cat murder had 1295 01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,480 Speaker 2: been laudable zeal in the pursuance of his duty. So 1296 01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:31,760 Speaker 2: we're seeing as he grows into a young man. This 1297 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:36,040 Speaker 2: guy has some emotional depth issues, some difficulty understanding why 1298 01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,240 Speaker 2: certain things are horrifying to other people. 1299 01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:45,040 Speaker 1: Good now, good, Yeah, I'm just like feeling for his 1300 01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:47,840 Speaker 1: mom of just like, oh, mom obsessed with me and 1301 01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,000 Speaker 1: he won't stop mutilating animals. 1302 01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:52,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, what do I do it? Even though her son 1303 01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:55,160 Speaker 2: didn't do it. The guy who killed the cat mutilated 1304 01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:56,400 Speaker 2: it to scare off other cats. 1305 01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,520 Speaker 1: Oh okay, that's still not okay. 1306 01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:01,760 Speaker 2: But okay, it's not okay. It is pretty normal. Like, 1307 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,120 Speaker 2: you know, I have friends and family with farms, and like, 1308 01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,000 Speaker 2: if you kill a coyote on your farm and you 1309 01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:08,480 Speaker 2: have livestock, it's not abnormal to like hang the corpse 1310 01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:11,000 Speaker 2: of the coyote up to scare off other coyotes to 1311 01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:13,760 Speaker 2: protect your cows and shit. Like It's something that people 1312 01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:17,120 Speaker 2: do when they're trying to maintain a population of prey animals. 1313 01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:18,360 Speaker 1: Very game of Friends. 1314 01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:21,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fucked up, but it's like it's also like 1315 01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:26,320 Speaker 2: life in the rural world. Although killing somebody's pet cat 1316 01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:29,440 Speaker 2: to protect a pheasant population, I would argue, is not 1317 01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:31,360 Speaker 2: the healthy way to deal with that. Maybe keep the 1318 01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:32,040 Speaker 2: cat indoors. 1319 01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:35,800 Speaker 1: It's yeah, like there was a clear solution to that, 1320 01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,280 Speaker 1: and it was like a pack. 1321 01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:41,160 Speaker 2: Of Yeah, it's not like a pack of wild wolves. Like, 1322 01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:43,320 Speaker 2: there are other ways that this could have been handled. 1323 01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:45,640 Speaker 1: The worst case scenario is that there were a couple 1324 01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:46,760 Speaker 1: more cats around. 1325 01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:47,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1326 01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:49,120 Speaker 1: Oh boy. 1327 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:52,760 Speaker 2: Now, as a young adult, Wilhelm fell madly in love 1328 01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:56,480 Speaker 2: with his cousin Ella, but Otto von Bismarck was not 1329 01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:59,480 Speaker 2: a fan of the pairing. Now, Bismarck is a guy 1330 01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,440 Speaker 2: will probably we do an episode on at some point. 1331 01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,680 Speaker 2: He's one of the most important people who's ever lived. 1332 01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:06,600 Speaker 2: He was the actual mind behind the formation of the 1333 01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:09,960 Speaker 2: German Empire. He engineered the Franco Prussian War, and is 1334 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,520 Speaker 2: again probably the single man most responsible from making Germany 1335 01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:14,000 Speaker 2: a thing. 1336 01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:16,560 Speaker 1: We did a whole unit on that motherfucker. 1337 01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:20,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a very important, influential guy. Yeah, he's an 1338 01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:24,320 Speaker 2: influence and yeah, as he's a dick, but he's also 1339 01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:27,960 Speaker 2: he's also very smart and very capable. Yeah, Like he's 1340 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,480 Speaker 2: not one of these powerful people who's also an idiot. 1341 01:05:30,520 --> 01:05:33,920 Speaker 2: He knows what the fuck he's doing. Now. The Kaiser Prince, 1342 01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:37,840 Speaker 2: Wilhelm's grandfather was the monarch of Germany. But Bismarck made 1343 01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:41,240 Speaker 2: a lot of the critical decisions. He was kind of 1344 01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,560 Speaker 2: the he was kind of the it's not fair to 1345 01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:47,680 Speaker 2: compare Prince Wilhelm's grandfather or father to George W. Bush, 1346 01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:50,200 Speaker 2: But Bismarck is kind of like a Dick Cheney type, 1347 01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:53,520 Speaker 2: you know, the power behind the throne. Yeah, and Otto 1348 01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:57,000 Speaker 2: von Bismarck was worried that Ella was too closely related 1349 01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,280 Speaker 2: to Kaiser Wilhelm, so he he didn't, you know, let 1350 01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:04,840 Speaker 2: that relationship come to pass. So Kaiser saw this as 1351 01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,840 Speaker 2: Ella rejecting him, and he wrote to Hinspeter that he 1352 01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:10,680 Speaker 2: thought his fucked up arm had made him unlovable, which 1353 01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,960 Speaker 2: was a normal thing for him to feel, considering that 1354 01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:15,400 Speaker 2: his grandmother had told him that his fucked up arm 1355 01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:19,160 Speaker 2: made him unlovable. Now, thankfully there was another princess waiting 1356 01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:23,440 Speaker 2: in the wings, Donna Augustenberg. She was a low rint princess, 1357 01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:27,000 Speaker 2: basically the Safeway Select equivalent of a Hollands Aalern the 1358 01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:31,840 Speaker 2: family of the Kaisers. She was yeah, yeah, she's not 1359 01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:35,320 Speaker 2: like a high level princess. But Bismarck liked that she 1360 01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:38,720 Speaker 2: was not closely related to Wilhelm. He called her a 1361 01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:41,920 Speaker 2: Holstein cow and thought that she would inject fresh blood 1362 01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:45,360 Speaker 2: into the hahens Allern line illness. 1363 01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:52,240 Speaker 1: That's description of her. But I'm not super into that, okay, 1364 01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:54,680 Speaker 1: but good to know now. 1365 01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:57,520 Speaker 2: When the marriage was announced, Hinspeter was a static that 1366 01:06:57,560 --> 01:07:00,919 Speaker 2: his dearly beloved problem child was going to marry someone 1367 01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:04,120 Speaker 2: who understands him and sympathizes with him in his weaknesses. 1368 01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:07,200 Speaker 2: Kins Peter was on record as saying that Wilhelm needed 1369 01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:12,000 Speaker 2: people around him who gave him unconditional love and admiration 1370 01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:16,200 Speaker 2: because he just couldn't exist without it. Sure, And one 1371 01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,160 Speaker 2: of the weird notes is that, like, I think we 1372 01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:20,960 Speaker 2: can all look at how heins Peter had him raised 1373 01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:27,160 Speaker 2: as like profoundly abusive, but Kaiser Wilhelm loved hins Peter 1374 01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:29,880 Speaker 2: till the day he died, and wrote him letters up 1375 01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:33,200 Speaker 2: until the older man's death, like almost on a daily basis, 1376 01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,320 Speaker 2: he would write, like desperately seem to crave this man's 1377 01:07:35,320 --> 01:07:41,080 Speaker 2: affection and approval. It's like devastating, Yeah, yeah, it's fucked 1378 01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:43,360 Speaker 2: up man, this kid, Like how does that? There's no 1379 01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,840 Speaker 2: way this guy ends up healthy, you know. 1380 01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:48,440 Speaker 1: And again it's like if you're just an irregular person 1381 01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:52,040 Speaker 1: with daddy issues. You're just one of the many daddy 1382 01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:55,120 Speaker 1: issues with power who people are gonna die? 1383 01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:58,440 Speaker 2: Real problem. Yeah, now this gets at one of the 1384 01:07:58,480 --> 01:08:00,440 Speaker 2: things I think is wildest about the very idea of 1385 01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:03,040 Speaker 2: a monarchy. When you really look into the letters everyone 1386 01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:06,760 Speaker 2: around the future Kaiser was writing, as both Rolf and Vanderkiss, 1387 01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:09,320 Speaker 2: the main biographers who were sources for this episode, did. 1388 01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:12,360 Speaker 2: It's obvious that one hundred percent of the people who 1389 01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:15,160 Speaker 2: knew Willhelm when he was young knew ahead of time 1390 01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:17,960 Speaker 2: that he was going to be a terrible Kaiser. The 1391 01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,320 Speaker 2: best anyone would say about him was that he could 1392 01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:23,040 Speaker 2: be sweet and charming, but nobody thought he was gifted 1393 01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:27,080 Speaker 2: in any intellectual capacity. As he grew older, his family 1394 01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:30,880 Speaker 2: wrote increasingly about his startling arrogance, his inability to take 1395 01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:34,599 Speaker 2: advice or criticism, and his frequent tendency to snap into 1396 01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:38,160 Speaker 2: blind rages. So everyone's like, oh, this guy shouldn't be king, 1397 01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:39,240 Speaker 2: but he's gonna. 1398 01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:44,240 Speaker 1: But he's boy, that'll suck. When that inevitably happened. 1399 01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,760 Speaker 2: It's a shame. There's no other possible thing we can 1400 01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:48,280 Speaker 2: have than a monarchy. 1401 01:08:48,479 --> 01:08:54,440 Speaker 1: Oh well, too bad, Jesus Christ. Okay, all right, yeah, 1402 01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:57,040 Speaker 1: that is I mean that does make me slight. I mean, 1403 01:08:57,520 --> 01:09:01,280 Speaker 1: obviously we're in a terrible version of democracy, but like, 1404 01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:05,840 Speaker 1: at least some things aren't inevitable from that far away. 1405 01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:10,600 Speaker 2: No, it's an iterative sort of thing. Yeah. Now, the 1406 01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:13,240 Speaker 2: prince's parents hoped that the marriage would have a soothing 1407 01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:17,080 Speaker 2: effect on his worst characteristics, but unfortunately, his wife, Donna, 1408 01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:20,360 Speaker 2: was what one biographer describes as a reactionary bigot whose 1409 01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:24,639 Speaker 2: small minded views only reinforced his own oh whis yeah 1410 01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:27,559 Speaker 2: to make matters worse, She despised the British, which helped 1411 01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:30,439 Speaker 2: push Prince Wilhelm further away from his mother. She was 1412 01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:34,280 Speaker 2: against liberal politics and the growing mood towards democratization and 1413 01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:37,840 Speaker 2: in Europe. She treated the Crown Prince and Princess Wilhelm's 1414 01:09:37,880 --> 01:09:41,519 Speaker 2: parents coldly and further pushed them away from him. Wilhelm 1415 01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,479 Speaker 2: started referring to his family as the English colony and 1416 01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:46,720 Speaker 2: complained that his father treated him as if he were 1417 01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:50,320 Speaker 2: a dumb child. Now Otto von Bismarck also took advantage 1418 01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:52,800 Speaker 2: of the growing rift between Wilhelm and his parents. While 1419 01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:55,400 Speaker 2: the Crown Prince wanted Germany to draw closer to England. 1420 01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:58,479 Speaker 2: Bismarck was deeply suspicious of the British. He'd spent his 1421 01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:01,280 Speaker 2: entire life building an intricate series of alliances that he 1422 01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:05,960 Speaker 2: believed would render Germany essentially impossible to invade. Under Bismarck's guidance, 1423 01:10:05,960 --> 01:10:08,720 Speaker 2: the German Empire had forged a strong defensive pact with 1424 01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:12,120 Speaker 2: Russia and Austria Hungary. This meant that roughly eighty percent 1425 01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:15,200 Speaker 2: of Europe would be on one side Germany side if 1426 01:10:15,240 --> 01:10:17,719 Speaker 2: a war broke out, which would essentially make it impossible 1427 01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:19,840 Speaker 2: to have. Nobody's going to go to war with you, 1428 01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:22,799 Speaker 2: Like the Russian Empire at this point is one sixth 1429 01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:26,639 Speaker 2: of the world's land mass, so like, and Germany has 1430 01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,919 Speaker 2: by all accounts the best army in Europe, So nobody 1431 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:32,520 Speaker 2: is going to war against that. Like, it's just impossible. 1432 01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:36,120 Speaker 2: Nobody would make a decision that stupid and azaes and 1433 01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:39,880 Speaker 2: they're all cuzos. Yeah, but Bismarck doesn't have much faith 1434 01:10:39,960 --> 01:10:42,240 Speaker 2: in royal diplomacy, which would prove to be wise. He 1435 01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:46,000 Speaker 2: had faith in if we have Essentially this is the 1436 01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:49,280 Speaker 2: nuclear arms race of its day, is having an alliance 1437 01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:51,960 Speaker 2: that no one could dare to fight, and so that 1438 01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,840 Speaker 2: was Bismarck' strategy, like, well, as long as we're in 1439 01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:56,400 Speaker 2: good with Russia, nobody will fuck with us, and that 1440 01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:58,720 Speaker 2: ensures peace in Europe. And he's right, as long as 1441 01:10:58,800 --> 01:11:01,799 Speaker 2: Russia is allied with Germany, there are no wars between 1442 01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:07,439 Speaker 2: European states and like a mass scale. Now there are 1443 01:11:07,479 --> 01:11:11,479 Speaker 2: some very persistent rumors that Wilhelm was homosexual. It seems 1444 01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:14,719 Speaker 2: more accurate to say that he might have been bisexual. Okay, 1445 01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:17,960 Speaker 2: he fell in love with a guy named Yulenberg, another noble, 1446 01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:21,080 Speaker 2: who Wilhelm described as my bosom friend, the only one 1447 01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:24,840 Speaker 2: I have. Now it's very unlikely either boy ever consummated 1448 01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:28,120 Speaker 2: their attraction, but for years they were inseparable. In his 1449 01:11:28,200 --> 01:11:32,320 Speaker 2: biography of Wilhelm, Emil Ludwig wrote that Ulenberg was the 1450 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:34,519 Speaker 2: first to open the gates of the garden of romance 1451 01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,160 Speaker 2: to the young man who had been forced into the 1452 01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,840 Speaker 2: part of hard bitten Prussian prints and was now taking 1453 01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,240 Speaker 2: leave of an adolescence poor alike and love and the 1454 01:11:41,360 --> 01:11:42,200 Speaker 2: dreams of youth. 1455 01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:47,120 Speaker 1: God, so it's really hard not to feel for this guy, 1456 01:11:47,320 --> 01:11:51,559 Speaker 1: like he's it's rough man. Yeah, he's got a lot 1457 01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:54,320 Speaker 1: of forces working against him. It's oh it's not. 1458 01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:59,760 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's disabled bi sexual abuse victim. 1459 01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:03,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, that he and his boyfriend should just move away. 1460 01:12:04,040 --> 01:12:06,559 Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh if only they'd gotten a house in Paris 1461 01:12:06,640 --> 01:12:12,840 Speaker 2: or something together. Oh so nice that painted pictures. Yeah, yeah, 1462 01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:15,920 Speaker 2: and he was Wilhelm had like some aptitude for art. 1463 01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:19,280 Speaker 2: He was described by someone as a gifted artist who 1464 01:12:19,320 --> 01:12:21,920 Speaker 2: never found his art, so like, he was good at 1465 01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:25,840 Speaker 2: a bunch of different things, but he never really well, No, 1466 01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:28,760 Speaker 2: because Hitler was shitty at it, like Willhelm. You get 1467 01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:31,040 Speaker 2: the feeling if he'd like gotten some actual if it 1468 01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:35,040 Speaker 2: had been made a real like, if people had made 1469 01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:37,439 Speaker 2: a point of really giving him some serious art training, 1470 01:12:37,439 --> 01:12:39,559 Speaker 2: he would have figured out what he was into. It 1471 01:12:39,600 --> 01:12:40,799 Speaker 2: could have been really talented. 1472 01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:42,400 Speaker 1: What if this was the point where you found out 1473 01:12:42,439 --> 01:12:45,200 Speaker 1: that I actually thought Hitler's art was really good, that 1474 01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:48,600 Speaker 1: he like, oh yeah, like yeah, no, Hitler is a 1475 01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:49,200 Speaker 1: terrible artist. 1476 01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:52,200 Speaker 2: Obviously, Jamie Loftus has a Hitler. I mean, I'm not 1477 01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:54,120 Speaker 2: gonna lie I would actually love to have an original 1478 01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:58,880 Speaker 2: Hitler just for talking about it. Yeah, but I love 1479 01:12:58,960 --> 01:12:59,759 Speaker 2: haunted things. 1480 01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:03,720 Speaker 1: I do love Hanton thing. That's very absolutely Oh my god. Yea, 1481 01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:06,760 Speaker 1: so he would but he was like he was a 1482 01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,000 Speaker 1: better artist, you. 1483 01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:10,280 Speaker 2: Know, I just he seems to have been good. He 1484 01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:13,120 Speaker 2: just never quite like found something that he was really into, 1485 01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:15,800 Speaker 2: throwing his whole interests behind. And obviously he had to 1486 01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,719 Speaker 2: be the Kaiser, so there was a lot of other shit. 1487 01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,519 Speaker 1: On his same time for painting when you're the ki. 1488 01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:21,559 Speaker 2: No time for painting when you're the cut. Some time 1489 01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:25,479 Speaker 2: for painting, but not enough right now. Bismarck saw Wilhelm 1490 01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:28,200 Speaker 2: as a pliant, muldable dummy he could direct in whichever 1491 01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:31,479 Speaker 2: direction he chose. The key for Bismarck was to deepen 1492 01:13:31,479 --> 01:13:33,479 Speaker 2: the rift between the Prince and his father. In the 1493 01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:36,040 Speaker 2: mid eighteen eighties, he went behind the Crown Prince's back 1494 01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:38,640 Speaker 2: and made the future Kaiser the chief envoy of the 1495 01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:41,280 Speaker 2: German Empire. Now this by all right should have been 1496 01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:44,439 Speaker 2: his father's job, but Bismarck worried the Crown Prince's English 1497 01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:47,240 Speaker 2: sympathies would look bad to the Russians, since Russia and 1498 01:13:47,280 --> 01:13:50,040 Speaker 2: England had just fought a war over the Crimea, so 1499 01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:53,200 Speaker 2: he pushed Wilhelm into the role. Wilhelm's father complained that 1500 01:13:53,280 --> 01:13:56,240 Speaker 2: this was a terrible idea in view of the immaturity 1501 01:13:56,280 --> 01:13:58,519 Speaker 2: as well as the inexperience of my eldest son, together 1502 01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,400 Speaker 2: with his tendency towards over barness and self conceit, I 1503 01:14:01,479 --> 01:14:04,040 Speaker 2: cannot but frankly regard it as dangerous tool how him 1504 01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:10,160 Speaker 2: at present to take part in any foreign affairs. Woo Yeah. Yeah. 1505 01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:14,200 Speaker 2: Prince Wilhelm was a terrible diplomat. His arrogance came off badly, 1506 01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:16,240 Speaker 2: and he had a nasty habit of insulting the world 1507 01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:18,920 Speaker 2: leaders he talked to. He botched his first meeting with 1508 01:14:18,920 --> 01:14:23,000 Speaker 2: the Russian Tsar by basically giving him approval to conquer Constantinople, 1509 01:14:23,240 --> 01:14:26,320 Speaker 2: something the Czar didn't think he needed. Approve he didn't 1510 01:14:26,320 --> 01:14:28,519 Speaker 2: need to get from an upstart boy who wasn't even 1511 01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:29,280 Speaker 2: kaiser yet. 1512 01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:29,400 Speaker 1: No. 1513 01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:35,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, God, what a dufus. Yeah. So the Prince's career 1514 01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:37,960 Speaker 2: did not start with great promise, but at least he 1515 01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:43,599 Speaker 2: was everyone knew, everyone knew was happening. Yeah, I will say, 1516 01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:46,280 Speaker 2: though he enjoyed some fringe benefits of the gig as 1517 01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:50,320 Speaker 2: envoid to Russia. According to Vanderkist's book quote, he relished 1518 01:14:50,320 --> 01:14:52,240 Speaker 2: the attention paid to him as chief envoy of the 1519 01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:54,719 Speaker 2: German Empire, and he was deeply impressed with the bearing 1520 01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:58,560 Speaker 2: of the young infantry recruits on parade at the Winter Palace. Nevertheless, 1521 01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:00,760 Speaker 2: he betrayed rather more than he when he wrote in 1522 01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:03,400 Speaker 2: the Tale about the physical appearance of the soldiers a 1523 01:15:03,560 --> 01:15:06,040 Speaker 2: very nice looking lot, though the fact that hardly any 1524 01:15:06,040 --> 01:15:08,160 Speaker 2: of them had any hips made their white capes look 1525 01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:10,440 Speaker 2: as though they had been poured into their slim bodies. 1526 01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:15,280 Speaker 1: He doesn't understand when to like, not be horny over shit. 1527 01:15:15,360 --> 01:15:18,880 Speaker 2: You're over sharing, man, may he's horny on Maine all 1528 01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:19,760 Speaker 2: the time. Jes b. 1529 01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:22,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like, yeah, at least make a like a 1530 01:15:22,400 --> 01:15:23,479 Speaker 1: fake account, don't. 1531 01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:26,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, Pola Mitt Romney write these under another name. 1532 01:15:27,560 --> 01:15:30,760 Speaker 1: He is being horny on the main it's so such 1533 01:15:30,800 --> 01:15:31,479 Speaker 1: a bad look. 1534 01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:35,559 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, like I'm fine with it, Like no judgment, bro, 1535 01:15:35,760 --> 01:15:36,160 Speaker 2: but like. 1536 01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:38,760 Speaker 1: Don't judge it. Don't be horny on the main. 1537 01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:43,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, you are being horny in your official job as 1538 01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:46,480 Speaker 2: international diplomat, which is probably inappropriate. 1539 01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:49,560 Speaker 1: That's the line. That's the line, Wilhelm. 1540 01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:52,600 Speaker 2: Now. Wil Helm also had mistresses, but he was no 1541 01:15:52,640 --> 01:15:55,680 Speaker 2: better at managing them than he was at managing international diplomacy. 1542 01:15:56,160 --> 01:15:58,280 Speaker 2: In eighteen eighty six, he arranged to have two of 1543 01:15:58,280 --> 01:16:00,360 Speaker 2: his mistresses follow his train at a birth lynn and 1544 01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:02,759 Speaker 2: meet him in a small village in Austria. The women 1545 01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:05,360 Speaker 2: did so, but when they arrived, he refused to reimburse 1546 01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:07,320 Speaker 2: them for their travel costs and a should know now 1547 01:16:07,479 --> 01:16:09,519 Speaker 2: that he was the wealthiest man in Germany. 1548 01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:15,759 Speaker 1: I yeah, I mean, I said, well, that's just dating 1549 01:16:15,760 --> 01:16:16,320 Speaker 1: a rich guy. 1550 01:16:16,600 --> 01:16:18,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like the going to be great. 1551 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:21,719 Speaker 1: And then then it turns out that they're they're fucking 1552 01:16:22,120 --> 01:16:23,560 Speaker 1: mean misers. 1553 01:16:23,720 --> 01:16:27,240 Speaker 2: Yeah left, yeah. Yeah. The women left in a rage, 1554 01:16:27,280 --> 01:16:29,560 Speaker 2: and one of them stole one of the Prince's monogrammed 1555 01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:32,200 Speaker 2: cuff links, so she displayed around town to prove that 1556 01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:35,880 Speaker 2: she had with the prince. When the Kaiser realized this. 1557 01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:44,240 Speaker 1: Came I flew southwest for this, take this ship and 1558 01:16:44,320 --> 01:16:45,120 Speaker 1: runs that day. 1559 01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:49,960 Speaker 2: Now, when the Kaiser realized this, he begged them to 1560 01:16:50,040 --> 01:16:53,360 Speaker 2: come back, and he offered to pay for their travel costs. 1561 01:16:53,640 --> 01:16:56,320 Speaker 2: They returned and finally foun now ensuing. 1562 01:16:56,600 --> 01:16:58,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1563 01:16:57,080 --> 01:17:01,000 Speaker 2: The ensuing threesome was so loud that it woke up 1564 01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:03,880 Speaker 2: other guests in the hotel. People could actually hear them 1565 01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:07,600 Speaker 2: talking post coitus. A number of random Austrians heard the 1566 01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:11,960 Speaker 2: future Kaiser complaining to prostitutes about his parents. He called 1567 01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:15,920 Speaker 2: his dad a conceited popularity seeker under Jewish influence. He 1568 01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:20,200 Speaker 2: also loudly insulted Austria, his nation's closest ally, as rotten, 1569 01:17:20,280 --> 01:17:24,000 Speaker 2: close to dissolution. God called the Austrian He called the 1570 01:17:24,040 --> 01:17:29,600 Speaker 2: Austrian people useless, pansies and gormands, no longer fit for life. 1571 01:17:29,240 --> 01:17:32,160 Speaker 1: I hope that the sex worker has got like an 1572 01:17:32,160 --> 01:17:35,160 Speaker 1: emotional support bonus. You know, it's like, that's not what 1573 01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:36,599 Speaker 1: you well. 1574 01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:38,920 Speaker 2: He made one of them pregnant and she blackmailed him 1575 01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:43,800 Speaker 2: and she got a shitload of money out of it. 1576 01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:48,400 Speaker 1: This guy's a loser. Take his stub there. 1577 01:17:48,520 --> 01:17:52,200 Speaker 2: Oh, word of all this got back to the Austrian 1578 01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:55,880 Speaker 2: crown Prince, which sparked another international incident. This all voted 1579 01:17:55,960 --> 01:17:58,679 Speaker 2: particularly ill for the future. In the space of a year, 1580 01:17:58,760 --> 01:18:01,400 Speaker 2: the young prince had insulted both of his nation's chief 1581 01:18:01,439 --> 01:18:06,519 Speaker 2: military allies, the Emperor, his grandfather was ill and near death, 1582 01:18:06,880 --> 01:18:10,240 Speaker 2: and right as his grandfather starts dying, his father also 1583 01:18:10,280 --> 01:18:13,000 Speaker 2: gets sick, which would prove to be throat cancer. So 1584 01:18:14,080 --> 01:18:16,479 Speaker 2: none of this bodes well for the future of peace 1585 01:18:16,520 --> 01:18:16,960 Speaker 2: in Europe. 1586 01:18:17,640 --> 01:18:20,479 Speaker 1: Right, They're like, oh no, the fuck up is the 1587 01:18:20,479 --> 01:18:21,800 Speaker 1: only one who will live. Okay. 1588 01:18:22,280 --> 01:18:25,160 Speaker 2: In eighteen eighty eight, the Emperor died and the Crown 1589 01:18:25,240 --> 01:18:28,000 Speaker 2: Prince became Kaiser. The Crown Prince, you know, the Kaiser's 1590 01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:30,479 Speaker 2: the future. Kaiser's dad. He would only rule for ninety 1591 01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:33,120 Speaker 2: nine days, and he was very ill for all of them. 1592 01:18:33,280 --> 01:18:36,000 Speaker 2: By the time he died on June fifteenth, eighteen eighty eight. 1593 01:18:36,080 --> 01:18:39,200 Speaker 2: Now Crown Princevillehelm had already been taking on and botching 1594 01:18:39,240 --> 01:18:43,360 Speaker 2: many of his dad's duties. That same day, Kaiservillehelm ascended 1595 01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:46,639 Speaker 2: to the throne of the German Empire. So in part 1596 01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:49,040 Speaker 2: two we're going to talk about what happened once he 1597 01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:53,759 Speaker 2: was in charge. All Right, it's time is over, Jamie. 1598 01:18:53,760 --> 01:18:55,080 Speaker 2: You got some pluggables to plug. 1599 01:18:55,240 --> 01:19:00,000 Speaker 1: I got some pluggies. I'm releasing a podcast on Thanksgiving 1600 01:19:00,160 --> 01:19:02,559 Speaker 1: call My Year in Mensa is about what the title 1601 01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:05,200 Speaker 1: is about. It's Apelled my Ear and mensa, How I 1602 01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:07,479 Speaker 1: got in and how I almost got bullied out. 1603 01:19:08,040 --> 01:19:08,479 Speaker 2: Uh. 1604 01:19:08,520 --> 01:19:12,160 Speaker 1: And then you can listen to the Bechdel Cast every week. Uh. 1605 01:19:12,720 --> 01:19:16,320 Speaker 1: You can follow me on Twitter at Jamie Lofts Help. 1606 01:19:16,479 --> 01:19:18,479 Speaker 1: And that's what you can do. That's what you're able 1607 01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:19,280 Speaker 1: to do. At this time. 1608 01:19:20,280 --> 01:19:24,559 Speaker 2: Now you can find me on Twitter and Instagram at 1609 01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:28,040 Speaker 2: Bastard's pod. You can find me personally on Twitter at 1610 01:19:28,040 --> 01:19:30,960 Speaker 2: I write okay, where I am not horny on Maine 1611 01:19:31,720 --> 01:19:35,280 Speaker 2: because that's inappropriate, especially with all of the diplomacy I 1612 01:19:35,360 --> 01:19:36,439 Speaker 2: have to do with the Russian Army. 1613 01:19:36,760 --> 01:19:39,919 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I mean would make you a terrible kaiser. 1614 01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:42,160 Speaker 2: It would make me a terrible kaiser. And my whole 1615 01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:44,040 Speaker 2: job is to become a very good kaiser. 1616 01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:46,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, your Fensta is horny as hell. 1617 01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:56,120 Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my god, it is nothing but thirst posting shameless. 1618 01:19:56,439 --> 01:19:59,280 Speaker 2: I muted it now, Jamie, what is a Fensta? 1619 01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:05,799 Speaker 1: I'm gonna jump off the balcony. I cannot possibly explain 1620 01:20:05,840 --> 01:20:08,480 Speaker 1: to you what a Finsta is. It's a fake Instagram. 1621 01:20:08,560 --> 01:20:10,479 Speaker 1: That's where you it's where you do your horn I 1622 01:20:10,479 --> 01:20:12,840 Speaker 1: don't actually have one, which is what everyone who has 1623 01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:16,479 Speaker 1: one says. But but it's like where you post, uh, 1624 01:20:16,560 --> 01:20:20,000 Speaker 1: you know, you post you know the illusion on the 1625 01:20:20,040 --> 01:20:23,320 Speaker 1: main right, You're like, I'm so happy, everything's great, and 1626 01:20:23,320 --> 01:20:26,880 Speaker 1: then you post depression memes and thirst posts on the 1627 01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:30,639 Speaker 1: fin staff. Oh that's where you're like your your your 1628 01:20:30,920 --> 01:20:32,200 Speaker 1: you know, two extremes. 1629 01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:36,719 Speaker 2: See, I write my thirst posts on a sheet of paper, 1630 01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:40,360 Speaker 2: and then I cut my finger and block them out 1631 01:20:40,360 --> 01:20:42,200 Speaker 2: with blood, and then I burn them in a bonfire 1632 01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,479 Speaker 2: at night in order to wipe away my shame in 1633 01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:45,679 Speaker 2: front of God and the heavens. 1634 01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:48,200 Speaker 1: I know, but unfortunately that is a spell. That means 1635 01:20:48,240 --> 01:20:50,960 Speaker 1: it's in a book somewhere far away. So your thirst 1636 01:20:51,040 --> 01:20:55,719 Speaker 1: posts are uh, they're they're documented somewhere. You shouldn't drop 1637 01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:58,599 Speaker 1: blood on it. That that's that activates the curse. 1638 01:21:00,200 --> 01:21:00,599 Speaker 2: Damn it. 1639 01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:01,559 Speaker 1: I'll send you some more. 1640 01:21:03,760 --> 01:21:05,960 Speaker 2: If you want to activate a curse, buy some t 1641 01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:09,280 Speaker 2: shirts from teapublic dot com. All of our shirts come cursed, 1642 01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:16,479 Speaker 2: so that's good. The episode's over, okay. 1643 01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:21,000 Speaker 1: Behind the Bastards is a production of cool Zone Media. 1644 01:21:21,120 --> 01:21:24,400 Speaker 1: For more from cool Zone Media, visit our website Coolzonemedia 1645 01:21:24,560 --> 01:21:27,800 Speaker 1: dot com, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app, 1646 01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:30,320 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.