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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions.

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Speaker 2: That's funest bitch.

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Speaker 3: And we are not virtual. Aren't you glad? Aren't you glad?

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Speaker 2: Like Trump? Orange?

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Speaker 1: Anyways, we are here in New York and if you

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Speaker 1: guys have been listening to both the regular episodes and

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Speaker 1: the Horrible Decisions episodes, we've just been talking about everyone

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Speaker 1: in our lives. So I mentioned that I had an

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Speaker 1: SOS take place. Now this is a funny SOS kind

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Speaker 1: of not really, and it involves my family, so it's

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Speaker 1: not really about judging a friend but kind of so okay,

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Speaker 1: we can still listen and we judge them as so

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Speaker 1: I actually judge my sister while also like feeling bad

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Speaker 1: for my cousin but not really. So so when you're

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Speaker 1: talking about Alex, yes, I'm talking about Alex clearly bitch.

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Speaker 3: So you know bitch.

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Speaker 1: Because I was like, you know what, you went to

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Speaker 1: turnover new leaf shit, I was like, maybe you're talking.

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Speaker 4: To your.

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Speaker 5: I mean, her girlfriend wants me to like come down

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Speaker 5: to Orlando more.

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Speaker 1: But I did buy the frontier pass so I might

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Speaker 1: go because there's literally sixteen dollars flights to Orlando, so

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Speaker 1: there's like a this is not an ad. But there's

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Speaker 1: a go Wild pass on Frontier that is only two

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Speaker 1: seventy nine for a whole year. But there's go Wild options,

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Speaker 1: and bitch, literally sixteen dollars to Miami to Orlando to

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Speaker 1: dapt like the Frontier routes, you can only get it

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Speaker 1: within twenty four or forty eight hours.

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Speaker 5: Do you think I diamond again on Delta if you're

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Speaker 5: to Orlando.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm only flying. I would never get on Frontier

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Speaker 1: for more than an hour and a half. No, bitch,

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Speaker 1: and I'm diamond. I'm gonna stay with my diamonds, you know, Bitch.

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Speaker 1: I've been diving for like four years straight.

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Speaker 6: Me too, and I'm my man, which really said to

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Speaker 6: me the other day that I need to stop being

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Speaker 6: ridiculous because we saw f like like that to Miami.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, you're ready any ready? We should just

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Speaker 2: go for New I's not go lie for New Year's.

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Speaker 2: I was looking.

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Speaker 1: I was already diamond, so I said, I don't need

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Speaker 1: Delta because I'm already diamond.

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Speaker 2: Bitch.

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Speaker 1: The difference was double, so it was seven hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: from Atlanta to Orlando, bitch, and minute I booked first

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Speaker 1: class well, first on Delta, on Frontier, I even added

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Speaker 1: all the extras.

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Speaker 2: I got two.

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Speaker 1: Carry ons, I got like I sat in the front

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Speaker 1: of the plane with the bigger seats, bitch, three twenty four.

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Speaker 1: It was literally a little over double if I went

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Speaker 1: on Delta. But it was also like a holiday weekend.

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Speaker 3: Now, let me splash out on y'all. I wasn't even

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Speaker 3: trying to be bougie.

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Speaker 1: You are you are, but spirit is my no, oh no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: spirit is I think they just filed bankrupt, which I ain't.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to fly on nothing in thirty thousand

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Speaker 1: feet in the air.

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Speaker 3: I want to wait, spirit.

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Speaker 6: I remember I lifted up and my arm rest lifted

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Speaker 6: up with me, and it came out.

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Speaker 3: I told you to it like a phone.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I just don't want super So when he's go cheap shit,

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Speaker 3: he's like damn, He's like, you couldn't.

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Speaker 6: Do that just for a quick trip. Well, I actually

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Speaker 6: don't think New York to Miami is that quick of

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Speaker 6: a trip.

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Speaker 1: And you no, no, no, New York to Miami is not, bitch,

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Speaker 1: that's three hours or soth nigga.

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Speaker 6: I couldn't afford it, Okay, I could only afford spirit

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Speaker 6: At one point in my life.

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Speaker 3: It still was like, well someone else will.

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Speaker 2: Have to buy it.

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Speaker 1: You know this, it's it's ridiculous. But anyways, let's get

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Speaker 1: into some family drama. And luckily I have enough cousins

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Speaker 1: to where it's not the cousin that I talk about off,

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Speaker 1: but it's another very close cousin. Well, let's become closer

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Speaker 1: to my sister. So it was like a thing, like

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Speaker 1: there was a it was a thing. So I need

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Speaker 1: a call from my sister. Little family drama. I get

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Speaker 1: a call from my sister and she's like, we really

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Speaker 1: need to talk, like I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, I'm busy. I'll call you back.

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Speaker 1: Call her back the next day and was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm free. Now what's going on? She was like, no,

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Speaker 1: this is serious. So she brings up that my cousin

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Speaker 1: was in some depressed state because her baby daddy cheated. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it happens. She's like, no, it's serious, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: what's serious. She was like, well, she came over and

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Speaker 1: she was acting like really strange, like and you know,

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Speaker 1: we've all we've a lot of my family has substance abuses.

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Speaker 2: So and I was like, well, what do you mean

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Speaker 2: really strange?

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Speaker 5: Like was she drunk? Was she lit?

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Speaker 1: Like was she smoking? Does she do it edible? She

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Speaker 1: was like no, it's like really bad. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck was she doing? She was like, she

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Speaker 1: was like, well, she talked to Shelby, which is the

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Speaker 1: other sister that I don't talk to, and she was

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Speaker 1: like they ended up opening up because you know they

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Speaker 1: you know Shelby, everyone's cool talking about drugs with her

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Speaker 1: long story anyways, and she did crack so seriously and

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Speaker 1: she was like she was like, she was like, we

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Speaker 1: can't have crackheads in the family, like and so, but

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Speaker 1: I don't know because she's been depressed, because like I'm

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Speaker 1: not supposed to know because Shelby told me that she

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Speaker 1: told her, and I don't want it to be a thing, like,

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Speaker 1: but I think we need to, like I think you

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Speaker 1: need to come down here and we need to have

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Speaker 1: an intervention because like, crack is really serious and so serious. No,

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Speaker 1: crack is fucking serious. So I'm like, well, damn, Like

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Speaker 1: I mean, are you going to bring it up? Like

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Speaker 1: are you gonna tell Shelby that? Like she was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I think you should come down. No, no, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you what it gets funny. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to tell you when it gets funny, because I know

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Speaker 1: this is this is a bad thing. Because so I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, when she came around, I said, Alex, like,

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Speaker 1: crack is like a serious thing. So apparently how it

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Speaker 1: really got bad? So they share I guess my cousin

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Speaker 1: and my mom they share the lawn man. So apparently yes,

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Speaker 1: So apparently she even asked the lawnman or crack. So

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Speaker 1: as my sister's telling me these details and how concerned

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Speaker 1: she is because she's like, bro, we can't have a

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Speaker 1: crackhead in the family. Da da da dah. I had

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Speaker 1: to ask her. I was like, atletics, she just mind you.

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Speaker 1: The lawnman is a Jamaican and I was like, why

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Speaker 1: would she just ask somebody for crack, Like crack is

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Speaker 1: like something a lot of people just don't have.

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Speaker 3: So mind you.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm really trying to ask these questions because

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Speaker 1: she wants me to book a flight to come down

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Speaker 1: and have an intervention like a family.

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Speaker 5: And I was like, bitch, I'm kind of busy right now.

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Speaker 1: Like I got a lot going on, and I was like, damn,

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Speaker 1: you're about to bring involve me, but you haven't had

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Speaker 1: the call. I said, if I come down and now

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Speaker 1: the whole family has her has to sit down about

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Speaker 1: this intervention of crack. I said, this is serious. But

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Speaker 1: also as she's telling me the details, I'm like, she

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Speaker 1: just asked the lawnman for crack. So anyways, so we

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Speaker 1: get on the call and I was like, okay, Alex,

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Speaker 1: there's this flight.

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Speaker 3: I gotta get a man.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, there's this there's you do have

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Speaker 1: to get a lawman when you have a house or

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Speaker 1: the lawman. So I get on my last call before

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I can come down next week.

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Speaker 4: Money.

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Speaker 2: This is all before the holidays.

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Speaker 5: So I was like, okay, I can get this flight.

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Speaker 1: We can come down, make sure she's off work, and

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Speaker 1: I'll set up like a dinner and we could have

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Speaker 1: an intervention. Literally right before I'm buying the flight, I

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Speaker 1: get on the phone with her again. She's going, she's going.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I said, have you found a pipe?

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Speaker 1: Have you found anything to like? And we're saying something.

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Speaker 1: She goes, yeah, because she asked for coke, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I said, wait, I said, Alex, is it

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Speaker 1: crack or is it coke?

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Speaker 3: And she's like it's the same.

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Speaker 1: Thinking Amanda like, what do you mean is it crackers

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Speaker 1: at coke? And I said, is it crackers at coke?

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Speaker 1: Because crack you have to do it a pipe. It smells,

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Speaker 1: you would smell it.

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Speaker 5: They would become this. Coke is a powder, you'd put

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Speaker 5: it in your nose to the She was like, no,

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Speaker 5: it was coke. And I said, oh girl, I'm not

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Speaker 5: booking a flight. I said, all my friend's.

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Speaker 3: Take cook, I said coke.

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Speaker 1: She's like, Amanda, you're just fine with our cousin taket coke.

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Speaker 1: I said, all my friends say, coke. Not intervening if

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Speaker 1: it was just a little bump and she didn't want

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Speaker 1: baby twice, I'm not flying down to intervene for coke. So, bitch,

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Speaker 1: I need to show you the memes that I sent

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Speaker 1: her because she could not understand the difference between fucking

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Speaker 1: uh crack and coke, and so literally, if y'all can

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Speaker 1: see I don't know if y'all can see it, hold on,

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Speaker 1: I said, Alex, this is coke, this is crack.

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Speaker 3: You got there you're handy.

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Speaker 1: I have the meme a fucking scarface and his hands

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Speaker 1: face and a fucking.

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Speaker 3: Uh snow lad man. And then when I.

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Speaker 1: Go next, I have fucking Dave Chappelle itching with the.

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Speaker 2: Fucking white lips.

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Speaker 3: This this is how I wait.

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Speaker 1: And he said, crack is wat literally and I'm literally like, bro,

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Speaker 1: we don't have to intervene.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 6: I was out with Charde and we were at Maxfish

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Speaker 6: years ago and we were flirting with his wife boy

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Speaker 6: and he was really fun.

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Speaker 5: And I don't know how cocaine came up, but at.

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Speaker 3: Some point maybe someone was doing it. I don't know.

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Speaker 6: The long story short, he was like, oh, the club

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Speaker 6: was over. He's like, you guys want to go back

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Speaker 6: to my house? Hed crack. So I started laughing because

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Speaker 6: I thought he's got, he's got and he looks like

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Speaker 6: a nice looking guy. So then he brought up crack again.

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Speaker 6: I said, you mean coke? He goes no, I mean crack.

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Speaker 6: So then I said how did you get there?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 5: But and you know what's crazy?

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Speaker 6: Is it because coke is too expensive? And he goes no,

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Speaker 6: Because I like it? I said, oh.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm just did you see And I had

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Speaker 1: to play it for for my mom and my sister

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Speaker 1: because I guess they never saw the interview of Joe

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Speaker 1: Biden's son saying how he's addicted to crack?

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Speaker 5: Did you not see that on twenty twenty?

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Speaker 2: No, we'll pull it.

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Speaker 1: There's a whole twenty twenty thing of him saying crack

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Speaker 1: is just the most euphoric feeling ever.

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Speaker 3: Dogg it gotta be goods. But I all don't want

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Speaker 3: to know that, babe.

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Speaker 5: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon.

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Speaker 2: But why it's up there?

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Speaker 1: Tap in for the full, uncut and way nastier episodes

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Speaker 1: over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible

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Speaker 1: Decisions and unlock all the messy, t wild stories and

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Speaker 1: bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's

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Speaker 1: You've Got Decision if.

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Speaker 3: You would like to have us answer your questions.

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Speaker 4: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

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Speaker 4: a terrible throatful guess what You've got decisions, You've got decisions.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back, y'all.

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Speaker 6: It's another episode, another Hunt day, another bitch.

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Speaker 3: You got a problem with a nickel?

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Speaker 1: Actually, oh, I don't know you guys ready, I got

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Speaker 1: a problem with you be had, So we gotta follow

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Speaker 1: up email from the side chick ship.

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Speaker 3: So if you guys don't remember this one, uh, she was.

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Speaker 1: Talking about meeting a man on a date on the

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Speaker 1: dating app be.

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Speaker 3: Okay and.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward, Yes, she's now dating this guy who's married,

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Speaker 1: but she didn't found herself in a three way group

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Speaker 1: chat and she said, girl, we.

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Speaker 2: Go out of town two weekends a month. This my man,

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Speaker 2: my man, my man, my man. So we had.

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Speaker 1: Our you know, things that we had to say about her,

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Speaker 1: and so this is the email that she decided to

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Speaker 1: send back after hearing our email to her. Oh this

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Speaker 1: is fun, she said, whoa, y'all in parentheses, wheezy read

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Speaker 1: the absolute fuck out of me.

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Speaker 5: You didn't even ask for context.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like in my efforts to not bombard

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Speaker 1: you all with details, some things were misconstrued. But after listening,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like it would even make a difference.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, she said, thanks for answering, I guess side note.

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Speaker 1: There's absolutely no place in the world that a woman

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Speaker 1: can say I'm a mistress, side chick or whatever without

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Speaker 1: being read for filed on. Oh, without being read for

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Speaker 1: filth on some level. On some level, I get it.

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Speaker 1: Here's what else she had to say, though, which I

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Speaker 1: didn't like this one. I'm I've always liked you too

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Speaker 1: since the original Horrible podcast and thought this was at

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Speaker 1: least a safe ish space. For whatever reason, she decided

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Speaker 1: to drop her Instagram in there, and here we go.

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Speaker 1: So this is a safe space, but baby, we be honest. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you is, You're You're You're first.

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Speaker 2: That's the end of it. Either way.

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Speaker 1: You're subject subscription like whatever the subject line of your

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Speaker 1: emails say, am I sidechick with side chick ship? So bitch,

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Speaker 1: you are dating a married man and I don't care

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Speaker 1: how many trips you go on with this nigga. I

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Speaker 1: don't care how many nights a week he with you

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Speaker 1: on some motherfucking scizza. I got him for the weekend

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Speaker 1: type shit. Bro, he's married to someone else.

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Speaker 2: So cool. You're in a relationship, but you are.

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Speaker 1: In the hierarchy of even a polyamorous relationship. You're not

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Speaker 1: number one, sister, and that's all we were telling you,

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Speaker 1: and we just want you to want better for yourself.

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Speaker 6: As someone whose card can be pulled. I'm sure at

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Speaker 6: one point in my Life. Mandy's got a chapter about

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Speaker 6: do married men treat you better? Andy, This is probably

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Speaker 6: why we had the reaction we did. Right, this, of

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Speaker 6: course is a safe space. Right, This, of course is

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Speaker 6: a safe space, which is why you felt comfortable enough

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Speaker 6: to share.

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Speaker 3: But it also could be room to tell you about yourself.

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Speaker 5: A safe space can also be an honest one.

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Speaker 6: Like, I don't know why unless you just wanted to

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Speaker 6: be like I'm getting my leg back, I'm doing this,

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Speaker 6: or I'm getting whatever I want out of it. I

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Speaker 6: honestly felt like from your initial email it just gave

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Speaker 6: a little bit to Lulu. And the reason I felt

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Speaker 6: that way is because you put yourself in this position

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Speaker 6: of being cared about more and oh, she knows about

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Speaker 6: me and I need his family. So when you say

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Speaker 6: things like that, it's to let us know you're important.

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Speaker 6: But at the end of the day, no one is

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Speaker 6: saying you aren't important. We're just saying that his wife

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Speaker 6: also is. So it carries I'm off as delusional when

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Speaker 6: you're trying to fight this case of he's mine or

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Speaker 6: I'm better, or I'm this or I'm that. Keep in mind,

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Speaker 6: the beginning of every relationship is heaven, and I think

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Speaker 6: two to three years is a beginning. I don't know

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Speaker 6: how long he's been married to his wife, but I

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Speaker 6: know that probably the hot new girlfriend side chick, according

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Speaker 6: to your words and subcheck right, going to be something

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Speaker 6: that feel better, lighter.

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Speaker 3: You also have to think one.

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Speaker 2: And you're new like a shiny toy.

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Speaker 6: He leaves the wife to come spend time with you,

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Speaker 6: so it's like, oh, well, she complains about this or

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Speaker 6: that or whatever, like, of course everything is better when

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Speaker 6: you're always fucking on vacation and having limited time together.

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Speaker 1: And I say that in the chapter, like I didn't

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Speaker 1: have to worry about splitting bills or raising kids or

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Speaker 1: even sleeping next to a nigga all the time if

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Speaker 1: he snores, Like I got the best parts of the

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Speaker 1: men that I dealt with when they were married because

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Speaker 1: I didn't really have to deal with real life with them.

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Speaker 1: So even if he is been thinking to you about

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Speaker 1: his wife, bro, they have to deal with real shit together.

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Speaker 3: So anyway, if.

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Speaker 1: Y'all want to hear more about what we had to say,

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Speaker 1: y'all could go listen to that episode.

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Speaker 2: It was the side Chickship.

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Speaker 6: I kind of want to reread that letter, But this

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Speaker 6: is what I would say to me, There's really not

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Speaker 6: a world where either of us is gonna stick with you.

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Speaker 3: When you're basically saying should I be with him?

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Speaker 1: Is it more x y Z You wrote into a

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Speaker 1: show about a married nigga br and did and you

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Speaker 1: in a group chat with the white taking niggas.

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Speaker 2: Like this like half unsys fun.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest with you.

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Speaker 6: If you were single and that nigga had a girlfriend,

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Speaker 6: I probably would have had the same energy.

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Speaker 2: Nah girlfriends so metal.

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Speaker 3: If the different comes before you, that's a bit scared.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, this is an interesting one, especially being at

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Speaker 1: the top of the year and people wanting to know

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Speaker 1: how they can continue on. This is also a patron

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Speaker 1: member and they've been listening to the pod since twenty twenty,

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Speaker 1: so glad they found us in the pandemic. If you

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Speaker 1: want to send a letter over to us, make sure

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Speaker 1: you email it to us Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. Now,

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Speaker 1: this is really interesting and I feel like you may

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Speaker 1: have some good insight on this, and I also want

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Speaker 1: to play some hypotheticals. The subject line for this letter

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Speaker 1: is boyfriend is kinda homophobic dot dot dot.

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Speaker 2: Hi Mandy and Wheezy.

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Speaker 1: My question for you relates to my boyfriend's beliefs and acceptance.

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Speaker 1: We have been together for six months and we have

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Speaker 1: a healthy relationship, no arguments, smooth sailing. However, he has

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Speaker 1: recently told me that he would have an issue if

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Speaker 1: his son turns out to be gay. I grew up

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Speaker 1: in Europe and he grew up in Nigeria with a

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Speaker 1: religious and Christian family. Most of his friends are Nigerian.

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Speaker 1: He knows I'm progressive and with open parents, I would

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Speaker 1: love my child regardless of sexuality, gender, disability, etc.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's nice.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I should give him time, as

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00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,240
Speaker 1: he only moved to London in twenty twenty two and

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00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 1: is still quote and it's still quite quote unquote new

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Speaker 1: to anything non Nigerian. He says, I need to give

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Speaker 1: him time, but I'm not sure how long that is.

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Speaker 1: Can a man outgrow being this way? Thank you for

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Speaker 1: everything you're doing. Been listening to the potsince twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: and as well as a patriot.

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Speaker 4: So.

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Speaker 1: I guess I want to start off first by asking

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Speaker 1: you if at any point in the past you've felt

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Speaker 1: like you dated or entertained or even committed into a

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Speaker 1: relationship with someone that was homophobic, knowing that a lot

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Speaker 1: of your friends are gay, your mom, you know, you

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Speaker 1: kind of grew up in that community. Has that ever

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Speaker 1: been a conversation with you, with anybody that you've dated.

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Speaker 6: Absolutely, to be honest, it's like kind of number one, right,

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Speaker 6: So I'm not a girl that has gay bestie, Like

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Speaker 6: my best friend just happens to be a gay man.

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Speaker 6: I think a lot of women have like gay niggs

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Speaker 6: in their life, but are they really that important? And

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Speaker 6: also we're queer, so I gotta like put that right too. Right,

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Speaker 6: I can go into my own experience and actually something

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Speaker 6: that my boyfriend and I discussed recently, so one Obey

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Speaker 6: wasn't homophobic by any means, and especially because I would

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Speaker 6: say he spent a lot of time with my gay friends.

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Speaker 6: But I just remembered him rejecting a lot having a

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Speaker 6: gay kid or a gay son, which a lot of

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Speaker 6: men might do.

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Speaker 3: So you can't.

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Speaker 6: They can't all be perfect super liberal fucking Zoran out here, right,

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Speaker 6: But I remember having slight issues about it and ignoring it,

390
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Speaker 6: and maybe because I didn't really think we'd end up together.

391
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Speaker 6: I have dated people that had homophonic parents. I've dated scissors.

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Speaker 6: She had religious family. For me, it's more so just

393
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Speaker 6: about do you believe gay people in my life are equal?

394
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Speaker 6: Do you believe that gay people deserve the same rights

395
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Speaker 6: as us, even if you wouldn't want it for your

396
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Speaker 6: own kid. I think that's okay because I think we

397
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Speaker 6: could have our own little prejudice of what we want.

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Speaker 3: But the reality, you.

399
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Speaker 2: Know what's crazy on select vi ignorance.

400
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 1: I had the conversation and I asked, I had a

401
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: class of sembile kind of like a talent hall, and

402
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 1: I asked them. I said the same question that ze

403
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Speaker 1: Way asked Kevin Hart, and was like, would you rather

404
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Speaker 1: have a gay.

405
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Speaker 2: Son or thought daughter?

406
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Speaker 3: Yeah? So Alex put that up.

407
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Speaker 1: All the men set a gay son, that's great over

408
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Speaker 1: a thought daughter. I won't really, Yeah.

409
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Speaker 2: Why makes your wrong?

410
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Speaker 3: Little woman?

411
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: Like you see, we got this whole sex positive platform,

412
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 1: And I was like, what really?

413
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Speaker 6: As a gay thought myself, here's why he's this answer.

414
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,000
Speaker 6: I've been treated worse for the assumption that I could

415
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Speaker 6: be a whore rather than being a lesbian.

416
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Speaker 2: But like women is different than men, I don't think.

417
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Speaker 6: A gay man can walk through society be an upstanding citizen.

418
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Speaker 6: I think when you're a woman, that's a hoe. Yeah, okay,

419
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Speaker 6: And what's a thought?

420
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Speaker 4: Bro?

421
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 1: Because I just sucked a few news you're telling me

422
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 1: the bitch out here in the trenches, then it really

423
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 1: might be scary, right. It's like, imagine if she's a

424
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 1: thought in college and has to wear that scarlet? Ay, Like,

425
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Speaker 1: what if she's so much of a thought? Is where

426
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 1: the bitch comes home with a baby? Okay, okay, it

427
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 1: was a good conversation, but okay, okay.

428
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Speaker 3: I was thinking about that too. So the other thing

429
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Speaker 3: that happened recently with my.

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Speaker 6: Partner and I is we were watching a movie or

431
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 6: hearing a conversation of someone being super weird and super

432
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 6: homophobic Bye a girl's gay bestie, and he was like,

433
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Speaker 6: can you imagine if I did that to you?

434
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Speaker 3: And how fucking undercover that would make me? Look?

435
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Speaker 1: He's like, every time I see niggas get like this,

436
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, it's screams, it's projection.

437
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:27,920
Speaker 2: It's pretty for sure.

438
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 3: It's almost not a world where you know.

439
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 6: So whatever the conversation was, the person that was doing

440
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 6: it was also African, and my boyfriend's Nigerian, and he

441
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 6: was like, I've seen this myself, Like I've seen it

442
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,360
Speaker 6: like he's like, I've seen my cousin a homeboy act

443
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 6: like this, and I'm just like, what the fuck he's like?

444
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 3: Sometimes if I want to live.

445
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 6: In the house music niggas be like if he gay

446
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 6: niggas in there, and I'm like, don't know, because I'll

447
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 6: be looking for her, Like the fuck they get obsessed

448
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 6: about that shit.

449
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 1: I always think it's weird that anybody sits around and

450
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: thinks about who their kids may end up fucking.

451
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 2: That's where I find it weird. The idea that you

452
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 2: care so.

453
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 1: Much about the sexuality of your child who isn't even

454
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 1: here yet. The idea that your mind is going to

455
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 1: who your kid may fuck one day, just it's weird.

456
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 1: The whole topic is weird, The whole conversation is weird.

457
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: Now in this case, then clearly knowledge is the quickest

458
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 1: way to realize your biases, realize how ignorant you sound,

459
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: and move forward unlearning. However, I understand, just like from

460
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: coming from a Jamaican background, how this could be in Nigeria.

461
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: So if he's saying it's going to take him some time,

462
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: do you believe that her boyfriend can change his mindset,

463
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: and how long do you realistically think that may take him?

464
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: And should she say in this relationship, what a man

465
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 1: who's homophobic if it disaligns with her beliefs as a progressive.

466
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 3: So I do think it could take time.

467
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 6: I don't know if I've ever shared that I think

468
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,200
Speaker 6: my father used to be homophobic.

469
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 3: There was an interaction.

470
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,959
Speaker 6: Maybe I've talked about it on Patreon or a regular episode,

471
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 6: but I'll try to make the story quick. My aunt

472
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 6: had cancer and cervical cancer and her surgeon was trans. Now,

473
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 6: my mom growing up always had gay friends. We always

474
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 6: born in San Francisco, So when the surgeon came out,

475
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 6: it was only me and my dad. My mom was

476
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 6: away and my dad was really nervous about my aunt.

477
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 6: And he sat down after talking to this woman, the surgeon,

478
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 6: and said to me, everything I used to think just

479
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 6: doesn't matter because you never know who will save your life.

480
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 6: You never know who will help you. And he just

481
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,199
Speaker 6: kept saying this. Nobody was asking my dad anything. He

482
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 6: was talking out loud on the drive home.

483
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 3: He was like, you just.

484
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 6: Never know who you will need in your life. You

485
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 6: never know who will be there to help you. Like,

486
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 6: it just doesn't matter at the end of day. He's like,

487
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 6: it's just like different races, it doesn't matter who we're around.

488
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 6: And I knew as a fucking kid. I was maybe

489
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 6: seventeen when this happened, like, oh wow, he's talking about

490
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 6: this trans lady, and that to me taught me you

491
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 6: can change, right.

492
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 3: Okay.

493
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 6: Now, granted my dad was more open minded I've had.

494
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 6: I grew up with a gay godfather, so he was

495
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 6: already kind of there. But I do believe people can

496
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,120
Speaker 6: change as they learn and they grow. I just don't

497
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 6: know if i'd be willing to stick it out, Okay,

498
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 6: Like my parents got together in the eighties, where homophobia

499
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 6: was a little different, it was expected.

500
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think eighty pandemic.

501
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting to be, yeah, dating someone today

502
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 1: with all of the access to conversations and knowledge and

503
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 1: clearly you know right from wrong, especially as an adult,

504
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:55,439
Speaker 1: So to sit here and be any sort of prejudice

505
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 1: to a group of people because of their choice of living.

506
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 1: I think it's also weird how rampant it runs in

507
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: our own community, as being someone who's black, knowing all

508
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 1: the prejudice in racism that is instilled within our history.

509
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 2: I find it to be weird. I kind of agree

510
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:16,439
Speaker 2: with you.

511
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 1: However, it's not really going to be an actual conversation

512
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 1: unless you guys are family planning.

513
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 2: Said, you've only been with him.

514
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: For six months. His idea of what he doesn't want

515
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: his son to me to be. I think it becomes

516
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: really interesting when you actually have the opportunity to just

517
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 1: have a kid, and at the end of the day,

518
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: whether it's a girl or a boy, a lot of

519
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 1: people once they actually reach that, just want a healthy baby.

520
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: And again, I think the conversation around who their kid

521
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: may fuck eventually is also an insane conversation to have.

522
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: I would, however, not be comfortable with this person as

523
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 1: my partner if he's showing homophobia out in public, if

524
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: he's not nice to a gay so that y'all have

525
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: or does it want to be served by a gay bartender.

526
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 3: Or Luke, Yeah, I think you know what I mean.

527
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: Like, Okay, he mentioned he doesn't want to get sunk,

528
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: but how homophobic is he? That's a good question because

529
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 1: there's probably levels yeah, the homophobia or.

530
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,120
Speaker 3: Like, okay, now you know what I mean.

531
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 6: Like on the conversation, you're my old Grandpa homophobia. Like

532
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 6: the other day we were watching him coming to America.

533
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 6: There's an old family member that say, you know, I

534
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 6: always thought Eddie Murphy was a little fruit cake.

535
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:37,640
Speaker 3: Don't he give you fruit cake?

536
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 4: You know?

537
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 6: I'm like, I don't know, douggling like Robin Williams Ward dresses.

538
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 6: But that to me is the type of like level one,

539
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying. Then you got level two.

540
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 6: I don't care what you do. Couldn't be me.

541
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 3: It's ship like that. It's aid a little passive aggressiveness,

542
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 3: and then to me.

543
00:27:55,280 --> 00:28:00,120
Speaker 1: And then you have little Boosy who finds a way

544
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 1: any chance he can, even though he just sat down

545
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 1: with leansphobic though, is he homophobic?

546
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 2: No, he's homophobic.

547
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 4: Bro.

548
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: He don't even talk to his daughter because she lesbian,

549
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 1: and he hired and he hired strippers for his fourteen year.

550
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 5: Old sons to make sure they liked women.

551
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 6: Oh well, you're not gonna stop them there. That's real homophobic.

552
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,959
Speaker 6: So okay, wad y'all might be yelling at me through

553
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 6: the damn headphones you got on right now. I might

554
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 6: have sucked up with the Boosy I might have found

555
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 6: now I remember all I remember very homophobe was there

556
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 6: was a big thing with Planet Fitness and then Dwayne

557
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 6: Wade's daughter, Like I just remember those things were like

558
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 6: super bad.

559
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.

560
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 1: He just he cared too much about how other people

561
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: want to live their lives. And baby, he did some

562
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 1: time in jail, So given projection because you ain't gonna

563
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: tell you and get your little dick. Sugg As saw

564
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 1: him in the jail while he was enough. He was

565
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: in there for some time.

566
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 4: You know.

567
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 6: In my relationship, Oh, we went to a queer wedding

568
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 6: and I remember or the conversation that we had in

569
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 6: the car and he was like, man, because it was

570
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 6: in Orlando.

571
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 3: He was like, you really like this down to Orlando

572
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 3: for this? He's like, this ain't even New York.

573
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't know if I've been seeing that

574
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: many trans people in a fucking New York wedding.

575
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 3: He's like, it's really your drive. I'm like it is, baby, okay.

576
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 2: And my mom loves that.

577
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 6: And I think the other thing that was cool about

578
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 6: that moment too was yeah, people do put on like

579
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 6: they're cool with some shit. But when we were at

580
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 6: the wedding, and just seeing him be a little bit

581
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 6: wild by it. You gotta think a lot of us

582
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 6: has never even been to a gay wedding, lettingone sitting

583
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 6: amongst you know, things that are just non traditional to

584
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 6: lesbians reading the What was I gonna say, not ordaining

585
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 6: a wedding, just shit like that.

586
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 3: It's something that can be a bit jarring.

587
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 6: And so all I want and appreciate in a relationship

588
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 6: and have the expectation of my partner be open about it.

589
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 3: Yeh, never say no to.

590
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 1: Anything, yep, saying I love that, like my ex was

591
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 1: able to hang around a sante and dustin and just

592
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: that's important. It was very important, it was very important. Well, basically,

593
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: we're telling you to gauge the homophobic level of your boyfriend.

594
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 2: We're not.

595
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: But him voicing that wouldn't be something that I would

596
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 1: break up with someone for. But again, if his behaviors

597
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 1: and actions lead to not being a good person, and

598
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: as someone who's so homophobic that he treats people wrong

599
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: because of their sexuality, I think that that's telling of

600
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 1: the type of person that you're with and you should

601
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: pre consider.

602
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 6: I think it's very sweet though, that you really were

603
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 6: like ooh, can I fuck with this nigga?

604
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 2: And how long should I give them?

605
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 4: You?

606
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 3: Sister, Okay, I love it. Well, thank you for the

607
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 3: patron turning on her.

608
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: Bard We not even I feel like we gotta bleep

609
00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: her name now.

610
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 2: I don't even want her mentioned anything. She's so embarrassing.

611
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 6: I was literally sitting on the plane watching it. She's embarrassing,

612
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 6: And I said to myself, is anybody you know.

613
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 3: White people understanding what the fuck going on? She's embarrassing.

614
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 2: She's embarrassing.

615
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: Anyway, if you have a letter, send it on over

616
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: to us decisions Pod at gmail dot com. And if

617
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: you're a Patreon you get boosted right up to the

618
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: front because baby, the in box is full.

619
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,719
Speaker 2: So again, join us on Patreon.

620
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 1: That's patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions And if you

621
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: have a you got decision letter to send it to us.

622
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 1: Make sure you send it to decisions pod at gmail

623
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: dot com.

624
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 5: Until next week.

625
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 3: Bye, hy Ayboddy