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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dim here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space.

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Speaker 3: Learning to say no and learning that you're tying that

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Speaker 3: back to the question about who hindered you, like and

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Speaker 3: me hindering myself? Like me not saying no is a

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Speaker 3: hindrance to myself because then I end up in a

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Speaker 3: space where I feel overwhelmed and I'm taking on way

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Speaker 3: more than I need to.

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Speaker 2: And even as a married woman like I am very

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Speaker 2: adamant about being independent because it's important, Like I think

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Speaker 2: that it's still very important to have your independence and

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Speaker 2: be an individual even when you're in a.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women

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Speaker 3: like you. When we're your hosts, Doctor Dominique Brussard, a

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Speaker 3: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techy and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 2: black women can just.

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Speaker 4: Be Our quote of the day.

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Speaker 3: The journey into self love and self acceptance must begin

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Speaker 3: with self examination. Until you take the journey of self reflection,

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Speaker 3: it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.

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Speaker 3: That comes from mother Jon Love van Zaan. Today's episode

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Speaker 3: is about deep self reflection. Team When you think about

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Speaker 3: self reflection and your journey, particularly your twenty nineteen journey,

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Speaker 3: what comes up for you?

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Speaker 2: You know what I think about dom Well, it kind

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Speaker 2: of takes me back to the traditions that my family

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Speaker 2: had around this time of year. And so for me,

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Speaker 2: we were often, you know, around Christmas and the holidays,

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Speaker 2: we would be at church, right. We usually spent our

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Speaker 2: New Year's Eve, and I think Christmas as well at

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Speaker 2: church and we would have activities, we'd have fellowship, food

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Speaker 2: and all that good stuff. And when I think about

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Speaker 2: reflecting on life, this one instance at church that happened

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Speaker 2: comes to mind for me, so I want to share

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Speaker 2: it with you just to get your feedback, because this

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Speaker 2: very short conversation impacted me in a great way. And

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Speaker 2: so basically, my family and I were at church one

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Speaker 2: New Year's Eve and we were going around, you know,

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Speaker 2: us and our church members were sharing different goals that

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Speaker 2: we wanted to achieve for the year and kind of

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Speaker 2: reflecting on the past year that we had, and there

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Speaker 2: was a girl that I know at church and she

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Speaker 2: said something. I don't remember verbating what she said, but

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Speaker 2: she said something along the lines of I can't believe

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Speaker 2: I'm in the exact same place I was a year ago,

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Speaker 2: Like nothing had changed. There was no growth, no progress,

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Speaker 2: no real purpose. She was just kind of walking through life,

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Speaker 2: waking up every day and going through the motions. And

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Speaker 2: although our conversation continued and blah blah blah, in my mind,

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Speaker 2: that stood out to me and I was like, oh shit,

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Speaker 2: I know I've been in places in life where nothing

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Speaker 2: has changed for me in three hundred and sixty five days.

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Speaker 2: But when we had that conversation, it made me think

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Speaker 2: to myself, like, I don't want that to be the case. Like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be, you know, stagnant or stuck.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to just kind of be going through

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Speaker 2: the motions without a real purpose. And the thing about

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Speaker 2: it is lady like, if you're listening and you feel

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Speaker 2: like that's you, that's okay. Like, I think we all

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Speaker 2: have moments in life, whether you're going through something, whether

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Speaker 2: you've just been so wrapped up in whatever is going

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Speaker 2: on in life. I think the most important thing is

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Speaker 2: that we realize where we are and acknowledging the fact that, girl,

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Speaker 2: I haven't like nothing in my life has changed, and

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Speaker 2: sometimes some people don't want to change, right, And if

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Speaker 2: that's your prerogative, if that's what you you know, if

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Speaker 2: that's what you want to do and that's where you are,

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Speaker 2: I think that's okay. I think it just depends on

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Speaker 2: who you are as a person. But for me, as

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Speaker 2: someone that's very you know, progressive, I want to grow,

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Speaker 2: I want to evolve. That moment stuck out to me.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like I've always been very much in

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Speaker 2: this sort of planning and sort of goal mapping and

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Speaker 2: reflective stage just all aspects of life, So not just

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Speaker 2: around the new year. But that's kind of what comes

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Speaker 2: up for me around that topic that's heavy. Yes, right,

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Speaker 2: it was like ah in my chest.

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Speaker 4: Like god damn, like.

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Speaker 3: To have that person acknowledge I haven't made any change.

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Speaker 3: And my assumption is the way she was sharing it,

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Speaker 3: it was not from that space of and that's okay,

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Speaker 3: like this is where I want to be, you know,

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Speaker 3: and I'm good. It was more of feeling defeated almost.

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Speaker 3: That's well, that's the vibe that I got from how

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Speaker 3: you shared it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say it was more so like a

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Speaker 2: like an epiphany where it was like something clicked and

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Speaker 2: she was just like, damn, nothing has changed, like I've

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Speaker 2: literally been in the same exact position and all aspects

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Speaker 2: of life. And it made me kind of sad too,

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Speaker 2: because she didn't seem to be very happy with the

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Speaker 2: fact that that was the case. I think the good

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Speaker 2: thing about it is if we realize that's us, there's

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Speaker 2: always an opportunity to change. If you're alive, if you're here,

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Speaker 2: if you're listening to this, it's like okay, boo, if

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Speaker 2: that's where you at, it's cool. What are we going

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Speaker 2: to do so that it doesn't happen again? Right right?

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Speaker 3: Right, so that we don't make more trips around the

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Speaker 3: sun and.

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Speaker 2: Are back in the same thing exactly exactly.

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Speaker 3: And so that's a perfect time, you know, the end

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Speaker 3: of the year is like a perfect time for us

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Speaker 3: to kind of think about, Okay, it's three hundred and

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Speaker 3: sixty five trips around the sun. Have we made any changes?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: What are the things that we set out to do

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Speaker 3: for the year, Like what did we what goals did

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Speaker 3: we identify for ourselves? What vision did we put out there?

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Speaker 3: And has any of that come to fruition?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? And I feel like we don't take enough time

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Speaker 2: in society, like it's not promoted or or talk I

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Speaker 2: feel like self reflection is not really talked about a lot.

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Speaker 2: It's not really promoted. People are always like, oh, set

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Speaker 2: your goals, set your resolutions. But it's like sometimes it's okay,

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Speaker 2: and it's important to be still and reflect and think

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Speaker 2: about what's happened this year, how did it impact me? Right?

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Speaker 2: And so we have some questions for you, lady that

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Speaker 2: will assist you with your year in review, because I

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Speaker 2: am a firm believer that what isn't examined can't be improved. Right,

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Speaker 2: So if every year you find out that you're in

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Speaker 2: the same place. You're like, damn, I I just keep

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Speaker 2: having trouble reaching this goal. Okay, well let's dig into that,

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Speaker 2: right because there's a reason, there's something behind that.

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Speaker 3: Lady, as you're listening, know that this self reflection is

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Speaker 3: not easy, and it's okay to set that boundary for

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Speaker 3: yourself to decide. Okay, these questions that we're asking, you

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Speaker 3: don't have to answer them, and or you can answer

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Speaker 3: them and decide, you know what, I don't want to

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Speaker 3: share this with anyone, Like I really this is really

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Speaker 3: difficult for me to even dive into this work.

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Speaker 4: Let me just keep it to myself.

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Speaker 3: One of the things, you know, as I said that,

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Speaker 3: like one of the things that comes up from me.

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Speaker 4: One of my favorite books is Their Eyes Were Watching

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Speaker 4: God by Zora Neil Hurston.

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Speaker 3: And one of the things, one of the quotes that

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Speaker 3: I always remember from that book is that this idea

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Speaker 3: that there are some things that a woman has to

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Speaker 3: keep to herself, right, meaning that everything is not everything

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Speaker 3: in your life is not meant to be put out there.

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Speaker 3: That sometimes when you're doing your work, when you're living

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Speaker 3: your life, there are some things that are sacred to

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Speaker 3: you and don't have to be put out there for

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Speaker 3: everyone to know. And so again, as we are going

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Speaker 3: through these questions, know that it is perfectly okay to

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Speaker 3: get have moments where you feel stuck or have moments

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Speaker 3: where you're like, I'm not ready to dive in adamantly,

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Speaker 3: you know, just be clear on I'm not ready to

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Speaker 3: dive into that work yet, or I'm gonna do the work.

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Speaker 3: I just am not ready to put it out there

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Speaker 3: for anyone.

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Speaker 2: I love that you said that. I think that's really

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Speaker 2: important and I think that there should should not be

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Speaker 2: any shame if things do come up, you know, and

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Speaker 2: I do also want to know. Ideally, if you're listening

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Speaker 2: to this episode, you will be in a place where

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Speaker 2: you can like journal and you can kind of walk

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Speaker 2: with us through this journey. So as we're asking questions,

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Speaker 2: you can write them down and you can just participate

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Speaker 2: in this with us. And if you are doing that,

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Speaker 2: or if you're driving or something like that, that's fine.

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Speaker 2: I definitely revisit this episode when you can write. There

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Speaker 2: are two episodes that Dom and I have already recorded

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Speaker 2: that would be a great compliment, So be sure to

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Speaker 2: make a note of this and write it down so

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Speaker 2: that you can revisit that so you'll have your whole

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Speaker 2: little podcast package when it comes to your year in

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Speaker 2: review and getting to where you want to be. The

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Speaker 2: first episode is from season one. It's going to be

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Speaker 2: episode three, and it's called how to Overcome Procrastination and

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Speaker 2: Make Progress Fast. The second episode is from season three

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Speaker 2: and it's also episode three, and this is five tips

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Speaker 2: to help you get back on track and find your passion.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's dive in down.

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Speaker 3: All right, So thirteen questions to ask yourself as you

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Speaker 3: are conducting your annual year in review. If you had

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Speaker 3: to describe the past year in three words, what would

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Speaker 3: they be? Girl?

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Speaker 2: Just real quick you asking that question? I feel like

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Speaker 2: I had a wood child in my spirit and also

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Speaker 2: the sigh of relief that's just what I think of.

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Speaker 2: But I have my three words out okay, Oh do

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Speaker 2: you have yours?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: I need? Okay? Do you get out? And tickets out?

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Speaker 2: The first is going to be transformative, the second is introspective,

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Speaker 2: and the third is jolted because I feel like this

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Speaker 2: year just shook my ass to the core. It was

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Speaker 2: definitely one of the most I think the most challenging

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Speaker 2: years of my life at this point for sure, And

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Speaker 2: I think for me it's funny. I had a session

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Speaker 2: with my coach Kareen, who we've had on the show,

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Speaker 2: and we literally met a year ago this time of years,

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Speaker 2: like a year ago in December. We were like on

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Speaker 2: the phone trying to coordinate coaching sessions, and we have

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Speaker 2: a transcript of different goals that I was setting for

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Speaker 2: myself from a year ago, and so when we looked

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Speaker 2: at that together, I was just like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: the growth very subtle, but it's just like transformations that

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Speaker 2: have happened internally and a lot of work that I've

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Speaker 2: done on myself. It's been so hard. It's been very challenging, right,

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Speaker 2: because it's not easy. It's like going to the gym.

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Speaker 2: You're like, it hurts so good, right, It's like it's painful,

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Speaker 2: it hurts, but you're developing these muscles. And so that's

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Speaker 2: why I would say it was definitely transformative. And then

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Speaker 2: as far as introspective, going to therapy, just being with myself,

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Speaker 2: working on my meditation practice and spirituality and then jolted

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Speaker 2: because girl, I think we're going to get into that

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Speaker 2: and some other questions. But I've had some adversity and

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Speaker 2: challenges this year. Yes, you girl, you definitely have Okay.

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Speaker 3: So for me, I would say surprising, connective.

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Speaker 2: Connection something something something it was connected with folk, connective

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Speaker 2: with folk.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yes, and call me.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to elaborate? You know I'm going.

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Speaker 3: So I would say surprising in that in a good

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Speaker 3: way of like I did not when we like launched

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Speaker 3: the podcast, like because literally, like it was a year

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Speaker 3: ago when we were like recording a few episodes and planning,

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Speaker 3: like we had a couple of meetings set and we

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Speaker 3: were doing our photo shoot to like get graphics and

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Speaker 3: stuff like our image and all of that, get all

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Speaker 3: of that together ready for the January for launch. When

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Speaker 3: we were doing all that, I was not expecting for

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Speaker 3: the podcast to take off in the way that it has.

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Speaker 3: Like we have over two hundred thousand unique downloads. I

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Speaker 3: would have been happy with five hundred like that. So

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Speaker 3: for me, just to see what we've accomplished in this

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Speaker 3: one year, and we were consistent with an episode every.

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Speaker 2: Single Friday, girl, I ain't.

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Speaker 4: Been that consistent with nothing any light.

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Speaker 2: So it's really the partnership because me with all the

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Speaker 2: stuff that we were both going through and experiences here

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Speaker 2: every Friday. Like, lady, I don't know if you know

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Speaker 2: that is a big deal for two full time working

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Speaker 2: women with other you know what I mean? Like that?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Whoa?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 4: So surprising, right?

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Speaker 3: I say connecting connective because this year I have found

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Speaker 3: myself meeting and connecting with people that I don't think

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Speaker 3: I would have been necessarily open to or connecting and

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Speaker 3: connecting with other people in ways that that people that

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Speaker 3: I've known for a while connecting on topics and things

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Speaker 3: that like I wouldn't have imagined that we would.

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Speaker 4: Be connecting on.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's been and I think that ties back

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Speaker 3: into the surprising part of this year, right, is that

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Speaker 3: like I wasn't expecting like to have these connections with people.

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Speaker 3: And then what was my third word?

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Speaker 2: I forgot? The word was calming?

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Speaker 3: Yes, calming because I've been better about this year has

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Speaker 3: been focused on being better about managing my anxiety around things,

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Speaker 3: and so I think that that has really been Yeah,

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Speaker 3: call me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that. All right, ladies, So write down

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Speaker 2: your three words, girl, how would you describe your past year?

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Speaker 2: And three words? And we're going to move on to

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Speaker 2: our second question, which is what was a high point,

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Speaker 2: So what was a high point in your year? And

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Speaker 2: if you have several, that's even better.

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Speaker 3: Okay, high point for me consistently throughout the year still

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Speaker 3: ties back to number one about the podcast, like this

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Speaker 3: has really just been something that has been really amazing

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Speaker 3: to me. And so each time we reached a new

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Speaker 3: milestone in terms of the number of like downloads, or

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Speaker 3: each time like someone men like those are like really

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Speaker 3: like surprising like high points from me, what about you?

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Speaker 2: Okay? Or I wrote down a couple okay, but the

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Speaker 2: first is podcast success. Like like you said, I'm not

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Speaker 2: gonna reiterate what you said, nown but literally the same

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Speaker 2: thing as far as not expecting this, And I think

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Speaker 2: I get emotional when I think about it because I

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Speaker 2: feel like I'm gonna keep this. We're gonna keep this

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Speaker 2: in the in the recording too, because this is authentic

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Speaker 2: and it's genuine. I think back to We're tissues that

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Speaker 2: were the tissues I think back to there. I feel

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Speaker 2: like with the podcast, there are so many it's just

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Speaker 2: such a blessing. Lady like this has been an outlet

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Speaker 2: for I would say for both of us too. I

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Speaker 2: feel like I've been healing myself with the podcast as

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Speaker 2: far as the topics will cover. We have a chance

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Speaker 2: to chat with so many amazing people who have shared

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Speaker 2: so much insight. I find myself re listening to some

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Speaker 2: of our episodes when I'm going through something, and so

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Speaker 2: I think that's one thing, just having this podcast, seeing

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Speaker 2: the feedback, seeing the way that it's just been growing organically.

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Speaker 2: You know, Domini work full time, so we haven't had

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Speaker 2: a chance to really give it our all because we

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Speaker 2: have very high expectations, like we want to do live events,

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Speaker 2: we want to be, you know, more active in the

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Speaker 2: Facebook community. We want to do so much. But I

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Speaker 2: think we're doing what we can with what we have, right,

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Speaker 2: you don't have to start off perfect. And so seeing

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Speaker 2: your feedback, Lady, seeing the testimonials, realizing that there are

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Speaker 2: so many Black women that resonate with the content and

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Speaker 2: that are thirsty for healing and that are thirsty for genuine,

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Speaker 2: you know, authentic connection like we are not about There

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Speaker 2: are so many different outlets out there, right and we

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Speaker 2: are not about the drama. We are not about any chaos.

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Speaker 2: This is all about healing and love. And just to

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Speaker 2: see the feedback, I mean, there are some days where

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Speaker 2: we are strugg and we're like, oh my gosh, girl,

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Speaker 2: it's so late. We end up recording and it's like,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, we got to edit and then post this.

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Speaker 2: And just seeing your feedback literally sometimes I will go

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Speaker 2: look at the reviews and I'm like, Okay, this is

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Speaker 2: my motivation to just push through. So I would say

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Speaker 2: that is like one of the biggest highs this year

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Speaker 2: for sure. I would also add on the side note

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Speaker 2: my sabbatical, taking that six week break that I had,

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Speaker 2: especially considering all the obstacles I faced this year, that

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Speaker 2: was so important for me and so much needed. And

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Speaker 2: then I just say career growth and personal growth. I've

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Speaker 2: just pushed myself so much this year, and it's nice

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Speaker 2: to kind of see some of the fruits of my labor.

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Speaker 2: I thought, I always make things emotional. I've been getting

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Speaker 2: in touch with my emotions this year. Okay, that is

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Speaker 2: really good and.

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Speaker 4: That is really important. And I think that that's part

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Speaker 4: of what.

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Speaker 3: Happens when we do with self reflection, right that like

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Speaker 3: we start writing stuff down and we start really when

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Speaker 3: we really start diving in and thinking about the things

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Speaker 3: we've been through this year and that have meant so much.

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Speaker 4: The emotions are gonna come.

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Speaker 2: Up, yeah, and it's okay, right, which is why we

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Speaker 2: are not editing out any crying. I've always said I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to cry on social media or on air,

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Speaker 2: but at this point, I'm just like so open with

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Speaker 2: my emotions, you know. So, yeah, it is what it is,

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Speaker 2: it is what it.

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Speaker 3: Needs, and that's part of part of that process is

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Speaker 3: like owning who you are. Right, So, what is the

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Speaker 3: scariest challenging thing you've done this year? I mean, I

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Speaker 3: think for me, Like I think honestly, I think for

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Speaker 3: me when as I look through as I was reflecting

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Speaker 3: on all of these questions, the podcast keeps coming up

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Speaker 3: for me. Right. So the podcast was scary and challenging

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Speaker 3: at the same time. Scary because this is something totally

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Speaker 3: new for me, right, challenging in that, like we talked

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Speaker 3: about the consistency of like wanting to like make sure

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Speaker 3: we put out content every Friday, and then trying and

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Speaker 3: challenging and figuring out how to vibe with a teammate, right,

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Speaker 3: which I feel like we've been so blessed we have

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Speaker 3: just instantaneously by right. Yeah, that's been my biggest that

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Speaker 3: has been challenging and exciting and all the emotions.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I would second that down. I would say for me,

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Speaker 2: my scariest and challenging thing that I've done is probably

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Speaker 2: letting go of toxic relationships, like letting go and not

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Speaker 2: just like a willing nary relationship with like relationships that

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Speaker 2: have been so ingrained into who I am and that

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Speaker 2: you know, folks that I've been connected to so deeply,

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Speaker 2: actually ending those because I'm choosing me and choosing my

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Speaker 2: sanity and choosing my peace. That's not easy to do,

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Speaker 2: you know, when you've been connected to someone for so long.

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Speaker 2: So that has definitely been one for me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely scary and challenging all the same time.

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Speaker 2: Question number four is which of your personal qualities turned

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Speaker 2: out to be the most helpful this year? And hands down,

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Speaker 2: I would say resilience for all this adversity. I would say,

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Speaker 2: also commitment to the process. Like I've been having a

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Speaker 2: mental shift, especially now that I'm back in the gym.

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Speaker 2: I've had this mental shift of like, it's not about oh,

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Speaker 2: I just want my body to look bomb. It's not

380
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Speaker 2: about that. It's more about the process. It's about maintaining,

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Speaker 2: it's about the lifestyle change and so truly being committed

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Speaker 2: to whatever process I'm part of, So whether it's the

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Speaker 2: podcast and all the ebbs and flows with that, or

384
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Speaker 2: if it's like a new endeavor and the you know,

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Speaker 2: the growing pains of that. So I would say that's

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Speaker 2: my second. But then also asking for help. This year,

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Speaker 2: I have asked for help and embraced help in ways

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Speaker 2: that I have not done in my life because I

389
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Speaker 2: always felt like and always kind of had to carry

390
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Speaker 2: everything on my shoulder, on my shoulders, both of them,

391
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Speaker 2: not just one, but it was I carry everything on shoulders,

392
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Speaker 2: And I'm asking for help so by way of therapy,

393
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Speaker 2: by way of setting boundaries, by way of asking for

394
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Speaker 2: what I need, And that is so huge for me

395
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Speaker 2: because I used to think I had to do it

396
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Speaker 2: all my own.

397
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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think for me, one of I think my

399
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Speaker 3: biggest personal quality is openness to new experiences. This year,

400
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Speaker 3: there's been a lot of different things that have come

401
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Speaker 3: up for me and just being open to what may

402
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Speaker 3: come of it, and you know, relying on my favorite phrase,

403
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Speaker 3: one of my favorite phrases of trusting the process. That

404
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 3: has really helped me a lot and exposed me to

405
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Speaker 3: a lot of things that I might not have had

406
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Speaker 3: the opportunity to. Had I been like, Eh, that's new,

407
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Speaker 3: that's different.

408
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Speaker 4: I'm not going to do it right.

409
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Speaker 2: And I can think of a few instances. I don't

410
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Speaker 2: know if you want me to share, but.

411
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Speaker 4: Go ahead.

412
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 2: So one in particular, because I know how I felt

413
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Speaker 2: when I first went to the tour class and for

414
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Speaker 2: me it's been like now richer. Why I try to

415
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 2: go every week when I can, but us going together,

416
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Speaker 2: I know you were like, girl, this is like outside

417
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Speaker 2: of my comfort zone. But you went and we had

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Speaker 2: a good time, and so that was one that stood

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Speaker 2: out among others.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's cool, all right.

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Speaker 3: Question number five, what was your most common mental state

422
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 3: this year? So like, was it stressed, being at peace,

423
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Speaker 3: being excited?

424
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Speaker 2: I would say that mine was reflective. I reflected a

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Speaker 2: lot and I just got comfortable sitting with myself, I

426
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Speaker 2: will say, Lady, depending on what comes up for you,

427
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Speaker 2: this might be a question to really lean into because

428
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Speaker 2: if you notice that your state for the year was

429
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Speaker 2: super low and that was like the majority of the time,

430
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Speaker 2: it might be it might be wise to kind of

431
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Speaker 2: think about, Okay, what can I put in place next

432
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 2: year to maybe shift that mood? Right because this is

433
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Speaker 2: a really great question that'll allow you to see the

434
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Speaker 2: patterns that you're noticing or that you may not have

435
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 2: thought about before within your life. Yeah about you don't.

436
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Speaker 3: Hmmm, I would say I wouldn't say that I was stressed.

437
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Speaker 4: I would say that I was aware.

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00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 3: That was like my constant because like how you mentioned

439
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 3: like being reflective, it wasn't necessarily reflective. It was more

440
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:31,199
Speaker 3: about about being aware of what's happening in the present

441
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 3: moment and how do I engage in a way that

442
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 3: prevents me from being stressed?

443
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 2: So mindfulness, right, Yeah, yeah, it's powerful.

444
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 3: So child, Yes, it definitely is.

445
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 4: Now this next question.

446
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 3: Maybe a tough one to answer. It may be one

447
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 3: of those questions that you don't want to answer out loud,

448
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 3: like if you were if a lady, if you're sitting

449
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 3: around with your girlfriends and you're like, all.

450
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 4: Right, let's go through this.

451
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 3: This may be something that you may definitely want to

452
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 3: process with a therapist or spend some time alone really

453
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 3: reflecting on the question is who has hindered you this year?

454
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 3: I think as much as I talked earlier about being

455
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 3: open to new experiences, I think for myself I was

456
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 3: the person who hindered myself more than anyone else. I

457
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 3: think part of one recognizing that I can be open

458
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 3: that how willing I am to be open to new experiences.

459
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 3: There are ways in which I know that I could

460
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 3: grow or things that I know that I can be

461
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 3: doing to reach what I believe is my fullest potential

462
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 3: that I haven't gotten to a space of doing yet.

463
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 3: And so I think for me, I'm my biggest hindrance.

464
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 2: Literally verbating that's what I was going to say, like exactly, Dom,

465
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 2: so I would save me too. We're going to move

466
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,880
Speaker 2: on to the next question here, and that question is

467
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 2: who can you think for their love, light, support, or

468
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 2: encouragement this past year.

469
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm at an award ceremony and I'm

470
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 3: giving that speech where you get up right. So first

471
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 3: I would like to thank you, lady who's listening to

472
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 3: us right now.

473
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 4: Again.

474
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 3: We would not be where we are with the number

475
00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 3: of downloads that we've had without you without you listening

476
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 3: and then telling your friends and then telling their friends,

477
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 3: and I think that has been that has just been

478
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:12,160
Speaker 3: so amazing, and I'm so grateful for that. I also

479
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 3: want to thank like my friends and family because I

480
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 3: know that, like throughout this year, because I've been doing

481
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 3: so much, I haven't always been as present as I

482
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 3: used to be for people, and so I know that

483
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 3: that's a change. But people have still been riding with me,

484
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 3: and I am so so thankful and so so grateful

485
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 3: for each and every one of you who has still

486
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 3: continue to encourage me and support me and check in

487
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 3: on me and be like, girl, you're still alive over

488
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 3: there in California, and I can be like, yes, I am.

489
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 4: I am.

490
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 2: You want to shout anybody out by just curious, no pressure,

491
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 2: because I know you've got a lot of folks.

492
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 4: I know I got a lot of folks, and that's pressure.

493
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, you don't have to. I was just gonna

494
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 2: shot people out, and I didn't want you to be like, well, damn,

495
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 2: I shot my people out.

496
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 4: Everybody and they know who they know.

497
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 2: Don't forget nobody. I would say definitely my husband. He's

498
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 2: been super supportive with the podcast. When we record late,

499
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 2: He's like, all right, you're gonna be recording tonight. He's

500
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: not like hand to me, you know, he's super supportive.

501
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 2: Dom obviously, Garean, my therapist, got a shout out Biagi, MEA,

502
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 2: my bestie, my grandmother, and then also like the working

503
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 2: teams that I work with, my cool Speak family and

504
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 2: my SOUNA team. They've been so supportive with all the

505
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 2: life changes and things that have been going on. So

506
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: I just want to thank everybody because the team is

507
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 2: so important.

508
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 3: Yes it is, And I know I would have forgot

509
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 3: people if I would have started naming folk. Same.

510
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel.

511
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 2: All right.

512
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 3: So our next question, this is another one of those

513
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 3: questions that may bring up some emotion and maybe a

514
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 3: question that you want to really spend some time with.

515
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 3: Did you make a mistake that you haven't forgiven yourself for?

516
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 3: If so, what do you need in order to forgive yourself?

517
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 2: Now? I definitely made mistakes this year, don't get me wrong,

518
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: But when I think about this question, I don't nothing

519
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 2: comes up for me that's lingering as far as things

520
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 2: that I have not forgiven myself for. I think with

521
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 2: my reflective you know, meditation practices, I feel like I'm

522
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 2: pretty good with that. So that's kind of how I

523
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 2: feel right now.

524
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think for me it's similar. It is that

525
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 3: like we are constantly we're all flawed human beings.

526
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 4: That's what makes us human, is that we're flawed. I

527
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 4: think I'm constantly I've.

528
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 3: Gotten better over the years of Okay, if I make

529
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 3: a mistake, like saying, okay, this was a mistake, and

530
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 3: making a determination like is this something that I need

531
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 3: to go back and like fully addressed, like it was

532
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 3: it harmed to someone else that I need to go

533
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 3: back and like do some reparative work, Or is this

534
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 3: something like for me personally that I can address internally

535
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 3: and if it's and so just making a determination like okay,

536
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: when do I address it?

537
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 4: How do I address it?

538
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: And reminding myself to have some compassion and reminding myself

539
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 3: that I am human and that it's normal and natural

540
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 3: for us to make mistakes and it's okay to acknowledge

541
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 3: those things, which is very, very hard to do.

542
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 2: It is, but I think that's a beautiful way to

543
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: put it, as far as I thought some mistakes. Now,

544
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 2: our next question is how did your overall outlook on

545
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 2: life evolve.

546
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 3: I think my overall outlook continues to be one of

547
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 3: being open and recognizing that how you thought about things

548
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 3: five years ago, three years ago, one year ago may

549
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 3: not be how I'm thinking about things. Now and that's.

550
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 2: Okay, that's right, show is all right. I would say

551
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 2: that my outlook has definitely shifted. And one thing that

552
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 2: I'm really leaning into right now is embracing the seasons

553
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 2: and knowing that I have everything, and you have everything

554
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,959
Speaker 2: that you need to weather the storms, and even in

555
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 2: twenty twenty, it's not going to be summer or spring

556
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: all year long, like we're going to have our fall,

557
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 2: We're going to have our winter. And so I think

558
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 2: leaning into the ebbs and flows of life because sometimes

559
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 2: I have the I want to say, propensity to be

560
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 2: naively optimistic. Well, I'm just like, oh, it's gonna be

561
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 2: it's gonna be rainbows and sunshines the whole year. But

562
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 2: it's like that's not realistic. You know, every year at

563
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 2: the end of the year, we're like, dang, we lost

564
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 2: so many people this year. Like things are going to happen, right,

565
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 2: even next year, right, things are going to happen. There

566
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 2: are gonna be things that we don't expect, things that

567
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 2: were not prepared for. But knowing that even when those

568
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,959
Speaker 2: seasons of life come, it's gonna be okay and I

569
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 2: can handle it. And I think that shift for me

570
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 2: is going to be so just so crucial moving forward

571
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 2: in life, because I always I was always so devastated

572
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 2: when something when the winter came, right like winter and

573
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 2: you know in life came, I was just like, oh

574
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 2: my gosh, this bad thing happened, or this dark time happened.

575
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 2: And it's like there are ebbs and flows, and so

576
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 2: going with the seasons.

577
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 3: And as you learn to go through the ebbs and

578
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 3: flows of these seasons, right, what do you believe you

579
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 3: deserve a pad on the back?

580
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 2: Flour That's a very easy answer for me, Dom. My

581
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 2: answer is not giving the fuck up, because this year

582
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,280
Speaker 2: I could have threw in the motherfucking town and but like, bye,

583
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 2: I'm done. It was hard, Okay, I didn't give up.

584
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 3: You didn't give up. You did those You rolled through

585
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 3: those ebbs and flows, those seasons like your winter mafl

586
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 3: like it lasted longer than it needed to, yes, or

587
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 3: came around more than it needed to.

588
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 2: Damn years.

589
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 4: Was supposed to happen once. But you persevere. Yes, so

590
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 4: you deserve a pat on the back for that.

591
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 2: I got what about you, girl?

592
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 4: I think.

593
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 3: I deserve a pat on the back for the second

594
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 3: half of the year learning to say no. This is

595
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,879
Speaker 3: like a like notice I said the second it's a.

596
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 4: Reason, right.

597
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 3: And that's one of the things that we can also

598
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 3: think about too, is that, like things that have happened

599
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 3: for us throughout the year, some of it, some of

600
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 3: that evolution might not come until the end.

601
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,320
Speaker 4: And that's okay because you're still within that year, right.

602
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 3: So for me, I recognize that, Like I get excited

603
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 3: about all the things right, like opportunities being presented to

604
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 3: me and learning that it's okay to say no, right,

605
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 3: And it's still a daily struggle, But I'm giving myself

606
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 3: a pat on the back for those initials saying no,

607
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:48,359
Speaker 3: because sometimes those are the hardest ones. Like I even

608
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,839
Speaker 3: think about Like as I'm saying this, I'm even thinking

609
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 3: about an opportunity that was presented to us and we

610
00:35:55,280 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 3: were both super super excited about it, and then we

611
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 3: both when we really thought about it, and you initiated saying.

612
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 4: I don't know if this is the right time for.

613
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 3: Us, And I was like, I literally let out a

614
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 3: sigh of relief when I read your message because I

615
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 3: was like, okay, like you're right, like I do, like

616
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,399
Speaker 3: this is an opportunity for us to say no. Right,

617
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 3: that is so hard, but I'm getting better about it

618
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,399
Speaker 3: so that I don't end up in a space where

619
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed out exactly.

620
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 2: Let me go ahead and patch you on the back down.

621
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 4: Thank you, gad girl.

622
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:43,240
Speaker 2: All right, Next question, what was the most important lesson

623
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 2: you learned this year?

624
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,479
Speaker 3: I bring that right back to what I just said

625
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 3: about learning to say no and learning that, tying that

626
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 3: back to the question about who hindered you like and

627
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 3: me hindering myself? Like me not saying no is a

628
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 3: hindrance to myself because then I end up in a

629
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 3: space where I feel feel overwhelmed and I'm taking on

630
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 3: way more than I need to. And so like this

631
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 3: practice of learning to say no, balancing that with being

632
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 3: open to new experiences, is.

633
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 4: That is probably the hugest lesson.

634
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, what about for you? That's powerful? I would say

635
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:26,879
Speaker 2: that this year I learned that I have so much

636
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 2: power within and we all do, but on a personal

637
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 2: level because of what I face to see, I just

638
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 2: realized that, you know, our mind is so powerful. And

639
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,919
Speaker 2: I've been praying like never before and meditating so much

640
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:42,959
Speaker 2: and using my visualization and just I self soothed through

641
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 2: some situations that were very difficult for me, and the

642
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 2: fact that I was able to do that, I just

643
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 2: felt very self sufficient. I think sometimes when you're married

644
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 2: or you have a partner, it's easy to expect your

645
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 2: partner to kind of like do things for you so

646
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 2: like and when I say do things for you, I

647
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 2: mean emotionally like, oh, this thing is difficult. Well, I

648
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 2: need this person to be like my security blanket. And

649
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 2: even as a married woman, like I am very adamant

650
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: about being independent because it's important, Like I think that

651
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 2: it's still very important to have your independence and be

652
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 2: an individual even when you're in a couple. And so

653
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: for me, there were certain personal things where it's just like,

654
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: this is just my personal thing that I'm going through

655
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna get myself through. I'm gonna build my

656
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 2: bridge and I'm gonna pull myself out of it, and

657
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 2: I expect my husband to or my best friend to

658
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 2: And so there were situations where I had to do

659
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 2: that and I was like, damn, girl, you got it.

660
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, showing yourself that you you are worthy, that

661
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 3: you can do this, that like, yeah, you are meant

662
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 3: for this, that's right. Next question, what was the most

663
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 3: surprising thing you experienced this year?

664
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 2: Do you know, domb what was the most surprising thing.

665
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tie it back around to the time, like

666
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 3: coming back to it, like this has been such an

667
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 3: encresse incredible experience.

668
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 4: It has.

669
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 2: And honestly, lady like, when you hear us talk about

670
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:08,280
Speaker 2: the numbers, like to us, it's not just like, oh,

671
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 2: this is dope, the podcast is lit. It's like, no,

672
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 2: this is incredible, this is this is us making an impact,

673
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 2: and like, this is healing for our community, right, this

674
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 2: is for the culture, This is for our community, This

675
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 2: is for black women and women of color. And so

676
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: to see the numbers and to see your feedback, I mean,

677
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 2: that is just so incredible to know that we are

678
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 2: making an impact and creating this community. And one day

679
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 2: we can't wait to meet you because we're gonna be

680
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 2: hosting some events soon, so we can't wait to see

681
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 2: you in person. But yeah, I'm with you there. I

682
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 2: think this is definitely a surprise. The little idea we

683
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:46,919
Speaker 2: didn't know. I was so intimidated by podcasting. We didn't

684
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 2: know what to do, and the fact that we've come

685
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,439
Speaker 2: this far and we literally failed forward, because you'll notice

686
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 2: in some episodes the audio is not that good and

687
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 2: it's like boo, we try and we just try and

688
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 2: pull it together and we're perfecting it as we go

689
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 2: along and just you know, making progress. So yeah, Now,

690
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 2: the last question lady that we want you to think

691
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:09,280
Speaker 2: about is what is the number one goal for next year?

692
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 2: What is the number one goal that you want to

693
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:14,879
Speaker 2: that you will achieve next year.

694
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 3: I don't know about yout, but my number one goal

695
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 3: is to work smarter, not harder, you know, Like I

696
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 3: go back to what I was saying about, like learning

697
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 3: to say no to some things and being open balancing

698
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 3: that with being open to new experiences and that piece

699
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 3: of figuring out how to always be aware of what's

700
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 3: happening for me in the moment so that I'm not

701
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 3: feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Because there were points in the

702
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:51,479
Speaker 3: year where I felt overwhelmed. And so for next year,

703
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 3: for twenty twenty, my goal is to work in a

704
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 3: way that keeps me from feeling overwhelmed and still offers

705
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:10,360
Speaker 3: me like fulfillment and exposure to new opportunities.

706
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 2: Go ahead, Dom, I love it. I'm so proud to

707
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 2: do and excited for you. I think we both had

708
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 2: a chance to watch each other grow this year. So

709
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,919
Speaker 2: that's so amazing and it's exciting to hear you say that.

710
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 2: I would say that my biggest goal. So I finished

711
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 2: writing my self help book this year, and my biggest

712
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 2: goal is to publish that in twenty twenty. And for me,

713
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 2: this book, Girl, it has tried me. I have like

714
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 2: relived some of the traumatic experiences I've had in my

715
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 2: childhood and just tough experiences throughout life, and having to

716
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,920
Speaker 2: relive that also brought up some emotions, some pent up

717
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: emotions that I suppressed so deep down within at my core,

718
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 2: and I've had to let that energy out. And so

719
00:41:55,640 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 2: I've been very emotional this year, and I feel like

720
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 2: I wasn't really as in tune with my emotions before

721
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 2: because I didn't really have a safe space to let

722
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 2: them out. Like that wasn't something I was able to do.

723
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 2: It was like shut up and suck it up. That's

724
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: kind of like the mentality that was in my household.

725
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 2: And so having a chance to let that inner child

726
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 2: out and heal and parent my inner child and give

727
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 2: her the love and the protection and safety that she

728
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 2: didn't have growing up. So the book Lady is coming out.

729
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to keep you post it if you want.

730
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 2: I will post updates on my Instagram and that's just

731
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 2: my name at Terry Lomax. So I will post the

732
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 2: launch date and all the goodies and stuff that will

733
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 2: come with that. But that is the biggest goal. It's

734
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 2: to provide that healing in a different capacity in twenty twenty.

735
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 3: Oh, I can't wait.

736
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 4: I'm so looking forward.

737
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 3: To reach.

738
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:48,320
Speaker 2: This was fun.

739
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 4: How does it feel?

740
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 3: It feels good to be in a space of like, okay, wait,

741
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 3: hold on, like let me think back to these things

742
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 3: that how this year really went, and giving myself that

743
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 3: opportunity to think about things that I might have just

744
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 3: like kind of pushed to the side because you know,

745
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 3: we get on this like let's get through our day

746
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 3: to day, let's survive. We're not necessarily sometimes we're in

747
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 3: a space of not necessarily thriving and we're just like surviving.

748
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:23,240
Speaker 3: And so having this opportunity to dive into the self

749
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 3: reflection really, you know, truly, if you really take time

750
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,800
Speaker 3: to sit with it could take a few hours, right

751
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 3: to really dive into each of these questions and really

752
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 3: think back from like January one, twenty nineteen to now,

753
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 3: and it's like it can it's going to bring up

754
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 3: all of the feelings and to just give yourself that

755
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 3: space to feel whatever feelings come up.

756
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 4: That's so wonderful to me.

757
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: I would agree. And I think that sometimes when you

758
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 2: had these, when you ask yourself these questions that we

759
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 2: often don't think about it, I guess you remember that

760
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: so much has happened, like you've survived so much this year, right,

761
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 2: And so I think it's really healthy for us to

762
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 2: do this, and it's so important because really, in order

763
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: to know where you're going, I think you have to

764
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 2: know where you came from, right, And so we had

765
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 2: a chance to do that. Now, lady, I do want

766
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 2: to say, Domini are expanding. We have created a YouTube

767
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 2: channel and we are going to slowly but surely start

768
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:30,399
Speaker 2: to add episodes to the YouTube channel. But we want

769
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,400
Speaker 2: to add a special video that Domini created for you,

770
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: probably about a year ago, right, and that video we're

771
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 2: gonna post it. But we need to get to one

772
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 2: hundred subscribers on YouTube, and right now we have about

773
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: thirty five. So be sure to head on over to

774
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:50,879
Speaker 2: our podcast Instagram page, which is literally the podcast name

775
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: at her Space podcast on Instagram. A linka's in our

776
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,320
Speaker 2: bio that's going to take you to our YouTube page.

777
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 2: Once you subscribe and we get one hundreds subscribers, we

778
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 2: will then post a special video for you.

779
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today in her Space. Please note

780
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 3: that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

781
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 3: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

782
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 3: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

783
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 3: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you or

784
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 3: someone you know is in need of mental health care,

785
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 3: please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today

786
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 3: or contact your insurance provider.

787
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

788
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

789
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 2: Twitter at her space podcast, or check out our website

790
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 2: at herspace podcast dot com. And before we meet again,

791
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 2: repeat after me, I know that everything is working out

792
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 2: for my good, even when things don't go as planned.

793
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 4: We'll see you next week, lady,