WEBVTT - Katie's First Time...

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<v Speaker 1>It's staff story time. One more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm strong and getty.

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<v Speaker 1>One more thing his staff demeaning term. After I said it,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, is that demeaning now, Michael Katie, nobody's offended

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<v Speaker 1>by stato. I'm glad to hear that first Katie's story.

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<v Speaker 1>You mentioned on the radio show you you did a

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<v Speaker 1>Bang bang for the first time. I learned that first

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<v Speaker 1>from the Louis c k TV show. I'd never heard

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<v Speaker 1>of it in my life. He's got one episode where

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<v Speaker 1>Louis c k is fat and him won one of

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<v Speaker 1>his fat friends. They do it for real. They go

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<v Speaker 1>to like real restaurants, you go back to back different

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<v Speaker 1>kinds of meals, and they standing that you want to

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<v Speaker 1>do a bang bang Ah Man, I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>I'm in the mood. Come on, all right, but what's

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<v Speaker 1>it gonna be? And then they go back and forth

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<v Speaker 1>and they go like steak restaurant, Italian place or something.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't understand that.

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<v Speaker 3>I couldn't do it physically, but he should try it on.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's pretty funny.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to.

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<v Speaker 1>There's something I don't know what there is it that

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<v Speaker 1>I find entertaining about it. I've only done it. Did

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<v Speaker 1>it once by accident out of politeness. My brother I

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<v Speaker 1>did Gladys. Gladys is glass is not on the stick.

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<v Speaker 1>She's got senioritis. Because we're almost on vacation. This is

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<v Speaker 1>when I had cancer, actually, but my brother and I,

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<v Speaker 1>after I got done with a chemo, we went made

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<v Speaker 1>a pizza and then found out on the way home

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<v Speaker 1>that my wife had made a big dinner because my

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<v Speaker 1>brother was in town, like a big, home cooked fantastic meal.

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<v Speaker 1>He can't say sorry, I already ate to that, so

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<v Speaker 1>we ate again. We did a bang bang, but I

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<v Speaker 1>have done like Black Bear Diner in an eehop or

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<v Speaker 1>something like that.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't understand the impetus are hungry, No, no, no,

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<v Speaker 3>the whole point is you're not hungry anymore, but you

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<v Speaker 3>do it anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, wow, anyway, so Katie it bang bang, what's yours?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>So, my husband, Drew and I were out running errands

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<v Speaker 4>and we drove by a McDonald's and I looked at him.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, dude, I have wanted McDonald's for so long,

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<v Speaker 4>for so long.

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<v Speaker 2>He's like, all right, well, let's get our stuff done

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<v Speaker 2>and we can go by.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, okay.

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<v Speaker 4>So we're the drive through to McDonald's and straight ahead

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<v Speaker 4>of us as a Domino's, and I was like, ooh,

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<v Speaker 4>pizza sounds good, and he goes, well, you're McDonald.

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<v Speaker 3>The drive through the McDonald's eye bowling other restaurants. I

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<v Speaker 3>am in the drive through.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like a guy staring at the bridesmaids as he

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<v Speaker 1>walks down the aisle with his new wife.

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<v Speaker 3>I gotta keep that one in mind.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So we order way too much McDonald's. And while

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<v Speaker 4>I'm in the car on the way back to the

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<v Speaker 4>house from McDonald's, I am on the Dominoes app ordering

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<v Speaker 4>s pizza. So we had our McDonald's, got home and

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<v Speaker 4>like ten minutes later, the doorbell rang and there was

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<v Speaker 4>way too much Dominoes delivered at the house.

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<v Speaker 2>So we did a bang bang.

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<v Speaker 4>I had a double quarter pounder and a handpan barbecue chicken.

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<v Speaker 1>Pizza in the same hour. Fantastic. That is a bang

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<v Speaker 1>squared right now, having not eaten McDonald's in a long time.

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<v Speaker 1>How did it strike you? Oh, it's so good it

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<v Speaker 1>is when you're eating.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, I don't know, I just I just

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<v Speaker 3>respect how you initiated the second one, Well, the first

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<v Speaker 3>one was still in process.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't waste time, Joe.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, being efficient man.

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<v Speaker 4>And the and the coke, just the diet coke hits

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<v Speaker 4>different at McDonald's for some reason.

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<v Speaker 1>It was I don't drink pop. But everybody tells me

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<v Speaker 1>that that that a McDonald's diet soda is just better

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<v Speaker 1>than anywhere else, That they get the right fizz to

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<v Speaker 1>syrup ratio or something in a way that other people don't. Probably, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>they probably haven't dialed in better than any of it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, when you're just feeding your regular coke right.

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<v Speaker 4>When you haven't had it in months, it was Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>it was a moment to remember.

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<v Speaker 2>Not I'm not ashamed.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh this is a dumb question that only I will enjoy.

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<v Speaker 1>But what did you eat at McDonald's. I had a

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<v Speaker 1>quarter pound with cheese. That's a good sandwich right there.

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<v Speaker 2>And the fries were fresh.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, McDonald's fries freshly made. And I'm wanting met today.

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna have McDonald's after show? Aren't you.

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<v Speaker 1>Friends with some odd people?

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<v Speaker 3>What's the matter with you people?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, now McDonald's another another staff story. What do you got? Michael?

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<v Speaker 1>All Right?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm really proud of myself. I saved up one

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<v Speaker 2>thousand dollars that was started last year to do charity

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<v Speaker 2>work for the holiday season this year, so I bought it. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it was my wife and I. We bought a bunch

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<v Speaker 2>of toys and gave some stuff to some elderly people

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<v Speaker 2>and for the military. So we did a bunch of stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>But when we went toys shopping.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is this isn't community service that you were

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<v Speaker 1>forced to do by.

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<v Speaker 2>Mistake or no. Okay, that's surprising, I know, but no.

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<v Speaker 2>And uh, the thing that was so surprising though, is

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<v Speaker 2>we went shopping for toys and I couldn't believe how

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<v Speaker 2>many crappy, cheap toys there are now. I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if it's I've gotten old or have toys always been

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<v Speaker 2>this bad?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>No, of course the first one is true. The second

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<v Speaker 1>one is not true. No, No, toys, just like washing machines,

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<v Speaker 1>used to be solid made, but now stuff is crap.

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<v Speaker 1>So what I'm always complaining about cheap Chinese crab, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean it's worthless. So many toys you buy are worthless?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I think there's a sweet spot because when

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<v Speaker 3>we were kids, like Tonka trucks were built in Detroit

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<v Speaker 3>by like the same people who made real trucks, and

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<v Speaker 3>you'd buy one of those trucks and you'd leave it

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<v Speaker 3>out in the rain four hundred and seventy five consecutive

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<v Speaker 3>nights and it.

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<v Speaker 1>Would still just be great.

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<v Speaker 3>And future civilizations would find the Tonka trucks of the

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<v Speaker 3>seventies and now you know, if your kid plays with

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<v Speaker 3>it for two and a half hours, fifty to fifty

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<v Speaker 3>the thing doesn't break. I would argue that there's a

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<v Speaker 3>sweet spot in between there, although you know, if you

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<v Speaker 3>get the super well made American toys of the past,

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<v Speaker 3>your grandkids.

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<v Speaker 1>End up with Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, my kids were

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<v Speaker 1>playing with some of my metal toys. He's forty five

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<v Speaker 1>years after I was using the fifty years after I

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<v Speaker 1>use them.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we actually have now they're on display, they're not

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<v Speaker 3>being used. But a couple of toys that Judy's dad

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<v Speaker 3>had that man, he grew up. Gosh, you grew up

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<v Speaker 3>the Depression and.

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<v Speaker 1>Just after what were the toys then, Like the hoop

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<v Speaker 1>was like a.

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<v Speaker 3>Top that you'd press on and its been around like

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<v Speaker 3>play a song and stuff like that. There you go, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>stick in a hoop.

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<v Speaker 2>No, But I remember growing up with Lincoln logs. They

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<v Speaker 2>were made with real wood, sure building houses and tinker toys.

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<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I don't know. I guess I've just I'm old. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>that's all it comes down to.

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<v Speaker 3>But the experiment has been done times fifty million. Do

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<v Speaker 3>people want cheap crap or they do? They want more

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<v Speaker 3>expensive quality, and cheap crap wins that fight a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why I was telling my son. I

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<v Speaker 1>was trying to explain to my son the other day,

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<v Speaker 1>how with many many things, what were we purchasing. It's

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<v Speaker 1>cheaper to buy the good one. It's cheaper to buy

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<v Speaker 1>the good one because you're gonna end up buying three

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<v Speaker 1>of the crappy ones.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, in the long run, yes, is it just the

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<v Speaker 4>thrill of acquisition, the thrill of getting something.

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<v Speaker 3>You can do that more and by the time you

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<v Speaker 3>know it's cheap. Crappiness is in evidence at the high

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<v Speaker 3>from getting this kind of worn off.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyway, they were at the dollar store the other day

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<v Speaker 1>and they sell kitchen items there and they're all just

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<v Speaker 1>so crappy. And Henry said, weren't you looking for tongs

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<v Speaker 1>the other day? You couldn't find the tongues? And I

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<v Speaker 1>needed tongues and for like flipping bacon or whatever, and

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<v Speaker 1>they sell them. They're their dollar and I mean they

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<v Speaker 1>are just so crappy. I bent them just trying to

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<v Speaker 1>demonstrate using them.

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<v Speaker 3>Just crap.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do we even allow that stuff to come into

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<v Speaker 1>the country.

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<v Speaker 3>You probably should wash your hands because a Chinese lead

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<v Speaker 3>and rat poison.

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<v Speaker 1>Right right, right, all right, right, So if we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to craft a fantastic bang bang, I would like to

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<v Speaker 1>do a really high quality bang bang sometimes like a

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<v Speaker 1>like a Morton's in a really good Italian restaurant or

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<v Speaker 1>something like that. I don't know which older I would

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<v Speaker 1>vomit all over.

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<v Speaker 3>But I will put aside my objectors status. Jeez, what's

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<v Speaker 3>the matter with you?

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<v Speaker 1>The feeling horrible afterwards is kind of the.

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<v Speaker 3>But I am seriously mystified, and I've done some perverse

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<v Speaker 3>and indefensible things in my life.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you feel bad, Katie after you ate all that?

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<v Speaker 1>I did not feel great. She's a lot younger than

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<v Speaker 1>us too, Michael. That helps wasn't wasn't great. But I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't feel like I.

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<v Speaker 3>Was going to die, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Cool for you?

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I feel like I would have to do

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<v Speaker 3>a big breakfast followed by a lunch thing, and I

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<v Speaker 3>had just eliminated the interim period, so it would have

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<v Speaker 3>that progression of tastes from like an omelet and some

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<v Speaker 3>bay can do. Here's a big hamburg.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm letting bacon. You could do it, be hard

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<v Speaker 1>to do pancakes need anything afterwards? Yeah, i'mlet bacon and

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<v Speaker 1>then a yeah, yeah, then a steak or something.

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<v Speaker 3>I could do that there if not had a stack

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<v Speaker 3>of pancakes with syrup in probably fifteen years, really yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>just because I'm trying to minimize carbs and sugar and

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<v Speaker 3>stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 1>And actually, and I know you remember how it is

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<v Speaker 1>because it's freaking good. Oh I know, but I would

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<v Speaker 1>have it forty eight hours.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a delicious, a horrendous insulin crash though, But I

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<v Speaker 3>want to really really badly. I gotta go get some

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<v Speaker 3>blueberry pancakes with syrup.

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing will make you tired like eating pancakes. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>it's just your feet are made of lead. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>your head gets heavy. You can't keep it up by yourself. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Who said that was a morning food?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah that's right.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe if you're eight years old, you bounce away from

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<v Speaker 3>the breakfast table.

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<v Speaker 1>But not now. When I eat pancakes, my head's like

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<v Speaker 1>a baby, like something needs to hold it up. Wow wow.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess I'll just stick with my sensible proteins.

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<v Speaker 2>Oooh no, I'm ashamed to admit this, but you know

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<v Speaker 2>how I was able to save this money up for

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<v Speaker 2>the holiday giving. I quit going to the vending machine,

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<v Speaker 2>and I took all that money. I just put it aside.

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<v Speaker 1>And good for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but it shows how much money I was wasting ridiculously.

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<v Speaker 3>Grand in the vending machine.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael.

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<v Speaker 2>I know it's not funny at all. It's really really bad.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow wow. I was about to salute his humanity and generosity,

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<v Speaker 3>and Katie goes with mocking him.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow. I mean that's that's impressive.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you think about it, you know, I do think

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<v Speaker 1>about it. I thought about it every time I saw

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<v Speaker 1>you at the vending machine for the past hour, many

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<v Speaker 1>years we worked together. I think you could buy a

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<v Speaker 1>box a case of those enth the price if you want.

0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:53.840
<v Speaker 2>You should have stoped me years ago.

0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.720
<v Speaker 1>Jack, none yet none of my business.

0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.319
<v Speaker 3>Well you've reformed yourself and given to those less fortunate, Michael,

0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.320
<v Speaker 3>God bless you. It's Christmas miracle.

0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:04.880
<v Speaker 1>Or lessons or something or other.

0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:13.760
<v Speaker 3>He's like a much less compelling Ebonezer Scrooge character. He's learned,

0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.800
<v Speaker 3>he's reformed, just without the ghosts and the nice job.

0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:21.040
<v Speaker 2>Michael, thank you. Well, I guess that's it.