WEBVTT - How to ask for help

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is how to ask for help in a

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<v Speaker 1>way that people are more likely to say. Yes. We

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<v Speaker 1>all need people to help us out from time to time.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you want a neighbor to water your plants while

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<v Speaker 1>you're on vacation, or you'd like a colleague to make

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<v Speaker 1>an introduction. Every time I have a book come out,

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<v Speaker 1>I hope that the various other authors and influencers I

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<v Speaker 1>know will share my work with their audiences. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>I get requests from other authors to share news of

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<v Speaker 1>their books too, and over time I started to notice something.

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<v Speaker 1>Some of these requests were far more effective than others.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people clearly sent the same email to everyone, and

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes this mass emailing would even be acknowledged as such

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<v Speaker 1>in the first sentence, Sorry, I don't have time to

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<v Speaker 1>write you all individually, but would you do this for me? Now?

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<v Speaker 1>I generally try to still be a good citizen of

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<v Speaker 1>the author world and help out, but I know that

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<v Speaker 1>part of my brain would always be thinking, well, if

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have time to write me individually, why should

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<v Speaker 1>I make time individually? To do what you're asking. And

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm thinking this, then probably other recipients of the

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<v Speaker 1>mass email are thinking the same thing, and maybe they're

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<v Speaker 1>just deleting the email. So sure, the sender theoretically saved time,

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<v Speaker 1>but he or she didn't get the wanted results either.

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<v Speaker 1>But when somebody I've met writes me individually and asks

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<v Speaker 1>for help, the bias is always to say yes. I've

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<v Speaker 1>since come across research finding that this is how most

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<v Speaker 1>people react to such requests. When you are asked individually,

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<v Speaker 1>the responsibility is on you. You know, it isn't shared,

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<v Speaker 1>and the interest of preserving the relationship, you'll feel like

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<v Speaker 1>you need a good reason to say no, and so

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<v Speaker 1>the easiest course is, in fact, to say yes. The

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<v Speaker 1>ASCAR could make it even easier to say yes by

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<v Speaker 1>being very specific about what here she wants. Here's a

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<v Speaker 1>Facebook post you can share with about my project, or

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<v Speaker 1>could you post something on Twitter? Here's a tweet you

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<v Speaker 1>could use if you wanted. These requests are even more

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<v Speaker 1>effective if the person has thought through what you specifically

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<v Speaker 1>could do, Like here's an idea for a before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>episode and it fits with the theme of the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I know this, and so I always ask for

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<v Speaker 1>help individually. When my most recent book, Juliet's School of Possibilities,

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<v Speaker 1>came out last March, I emailed hundreds of people with

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<v Speaker 1>personal requests. The vast majority of these people responded positively. Now, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>this took a lot of time, but so what It

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<v Speaker 1>was a good use of time, and not just for

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<v Speaker 1>sharing the news of the book. I was able to

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<v Speaker 1>reconnect with several people who then kept me in mind

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<v Speaker 1>for a few your projects too. Technology makes it very

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<v Speaker 1>easy to communicate with lots of people at once, and

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes that's fine, But if you want people to use

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<v Speaker 1>their precious time to help you, you're generally better off

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<v Speaker 1>investing the time and asking for help personally and specifically,

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<v Speaker 1>and then of course thanking people, because when you do that,

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<v Speaker 1>everyone is more inclined to help in the future. In

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd

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<v Speaker 1>love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,

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<v Speaker 1>your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,

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<v Speaker 1>four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot

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<v Speaker 1>me an email at before Breakfast podcast at i heart

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<v Speaker 1>media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with

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<v Speaker 1>all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to

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<v Speaker 1>staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I

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<v Speaker 1>heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit

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