1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: Today's tip is how to ask for help in a 4 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 1: way that people are more likely to say. Yes. We 5 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: all need people to help us out from time to time. 6 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: Maybe you want a neighbor to water your plants while 7 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: you're on vacation, or you'd like a colleague to make 8 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,240 Speaker 1: an introduction. Every time I have a book come out, 9 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: I hope that the various other authors and influencers I 10 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: know will share my work with their audiences. Of course, 11 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: I get requests from other authors to share news of 12 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: their books too, and over time I started to notice something. 13 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: Some of these requests were far more effective than others. 14 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: Some people clearly sent the same email to everyone, and 15 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: sometimes this mass emailing would even be acknowledged as such 16 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: in the first sentence, Sorry, I don't have time to 17 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: write you all individually, but would you do this for me? Now? 18 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: I generally try to still be a good citizen of 19 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: the author world and help out, but I know that 20 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: part of my brain would always be thinking, well, if 21 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 1: you don't have time to write me individually, why should 22 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: I make time individually? To do what you're asking. And 23 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: if I'm thinking this, then probably other recipients of the 24 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: mass email are thinking the same thing, and maybe they're 25 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 1: just deleting the email. So sure, the sender theoretically saved time, 26 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: but he or she didn't get the wanted results either. 27 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: But when somebody I've met writes me individually and asks 28 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: for help, the bias is always to say yes. I've 29 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: since come across research finding that this is how most 30 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: people react to such requests. When you are asked individually, 31 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 1: the responsibility is on you. You know, it isn't shared, 32 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: and the interest of preserving the relationship, you'll feel like 33 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: you need a good reason to say no, and so 34 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: the easiest course is, in fact, to say yes. The 35 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: ASCAR could make it even easier to say yes by 36 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: being very specific about what here she wants. Here's a 37 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,920 Speaker 1: Facebook post you can share with about my project, or 38 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 1: could you post something on Twitter? Here's a tweet you 39 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: could use if you wanted. These requests are even more 40 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,519 Speaker 1: effective if the person has thought through what you specifically 41 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,959 Speaker 1: could do, Like here's an idea for a before Breakfast 42 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: episode and it fits with the theme of the podcast. 43 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: Now I know this, and so I always ask for 44 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: help individually. When my most recent book, Juliet's School of Possibilities, 45 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: came out last March, I emailed hundreds of people with 46 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: personal requests. The vast majority of these people responded positively. Now, yes, 47 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: this took a lot of time, but so what It 48 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: was a good use of time, and not just for 49 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 1: sharing the news of the book. I was able to 50 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: reconnect with several people who then kept me in mind 51 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: for a few your projects too. Technology makes it very 52 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: easy to communicate with lots of people at once, and 53 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: sometimes that's fine, But if you want people to use 54 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: their precious time to help you, you're generally better off 55 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: investing the time and asking for help personally and specifically, 56 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: and then of course thanking people, because when you do that, 57 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: everyone is more inclined to help in the future. In 58 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's 59 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd 60 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips, 61 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 62 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: and Instagram at before Breakfast pod that's b the number 63 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot 64 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: me an email at before Breakfast podcast at i heart 65 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 1: media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with 66 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to 67 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I 68 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: heart Radio. 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