1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:00,480 Speaker 1: Okay. 2 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 2: Wife promised she'd stop trying to hook up with their coworker, 3 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 2: but she woon't stop. 4 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: Just stop hooking up with their coworker. 5 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 2: It's really simple. My wife and I have been married 6 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 2: for slightly more than three years now. Last Christmas I 7 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 2: found she had been having a long conversation conversation okay, 8 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 2: conversation with a coworker of hers, in which they talked 9 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 2: about hooking up multiple times and that they couldn't wait 10 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 2: for the next one. They were hooking up already in 11 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 2: these texts. 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 3: That's what they said. Oh my god, that is what 13 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 3: they said. 14 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 2: The guy said he was going to book a hotel 15 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 2: near their office right after Christmas. In this conversation, when 16 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 2: he said he was looking forward to seeing my wife, 17 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 2: she would reply with things like I'm looking forward to it, 18 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to much more than just seeing you, etc. 19 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 3: You get the idea. They were flirty and frisky. 20 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: And on Christmas, worst Christmas present ever. 21 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 3: So here's what happened next. 22 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 2: I confronted my wife and she denied the conversation. After 23 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 2: deleting it, she showed me her phone to prove that 24 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 2: it didn't exist. Yeah, after freaking deleting it. Yeah, now 25 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:08,759 Speaker 2: it doesn't exist. 26 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: So dumb do you think op is? 27 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 2: She thinks he's dumb, but guess what what he is 28 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 2: not because he had taken a few. 29 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 3: Pictures, He had the receipts. Keep the evidence, Keep evidence, 30 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 3: ladies and gentlemen. 31 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 2: She then said that it was all virtual and that 32 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 2: they never did anything physical. To prove she was right, 33 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 2: she messaged her coworker in front of me, asking if 34 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 2: he had actually booked the hotel. He replied not yet. 35 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,199 Speaker 2: She then asked if he was really expecting to meet, 36 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 2: to which he replied negatively. So basically he said no, 37 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 2: I wasn't actually trying. 38 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 3: To do that. 39 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 2: She promised they would never talk again, and I agreed 40 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 2: simply because I love her a lot and wanted to 41 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 2: trust her. 42 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,119 Speaker 1: Whoooooo bruh. 43 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 4: So she lied initially about even having this whole text conversation. 44 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 4: He catches her in the lie yep, and then she's like, Okay, 45 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 4: I'm just going to confirm in front of you that 46 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 4: for a fact I was lying. I'm gonna text this 47 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 4: guy about the life that I said I wasn't lying about, 48 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 4: and then it's all supposed to be okay, because he 49 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 4: didn't actually book the hotel room yet. 50 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 2: I think basically what she's implying is that they never 51 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 2: actually hooked up ever, which still isn't good, which is 52 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 2: still terrible. 53 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, fastly, Yeah, you're right, run for the hills. You 54 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 4: deserve better, Op truly. 55 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 2: Like OP is out here being so generous with his 56 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 2: with his trust, like Santo with his trust. 57 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, Christmas with his big old sack. 58 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,640 Speaker 3: The terrible holiday story, guys. 59 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 2: For a few weeks, I must admit I checked her 60 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 2: phone a few too many times, so she changed her password, 61 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,839 Speaker 2: which I was fine with because maybe I was being 62 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 2: two parents. 63 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: No, you're not being paranoid, bro, She fucking cheaned it 64 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 1: on you. 65 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 4: He's I think the term gaslighting gets thrown around way 66 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 4: too much. But this man's getting gaslight. 67 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 3: What is the definition of gas lights? 68 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,399 Speaker 1: I think like manipulation. It's over yous man. 69 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, but this week I picked up her phone because 70 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 2: I needed a code that was sent to her phone number. 71 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: I didn't need to unlock the screen or anything to 72 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,120 Speaker 2: get it. 73 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 3: And then I saw it. 74 00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: Oh no, what did you see? 75 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 2: To my surprise, under the message with the code I needed, 76 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 2: there was other messages from the same guy, the coworker 77 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 2: from before. First one was an audio message, The second 78 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 2: one was a shirtless photo of himself in front of 79 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 2: a mirror. 80 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,079 Speaker 3: No, the third. 81 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 2: One was the sweaty emoji a few times, and then 82 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: the tongue emoji. I confronted her since she had promised 83 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 2: that they wouldn't talk ever again, and get this. She 84 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 2: said that he just wanted to show her. He's going 85 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 2: to the gym and show his progress. 86 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: Borah, I hate this. I hate this. 87 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 3: Oh, be at least find like a better excuse. 88 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: Reckon, you're uncreative. Yeah, you're an uncreative cheater. Uncreative cheater. 89 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 2: My wife then goes on to say that the rest 90 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 2: of the time they just talk about work and that 91 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 2: this is just a total coincidence. I asked her to 92 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 2: show me the rest of their messages, but she said 93 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 2: she had mistakenly deleted their conversation history. I accidentally intentionally 94 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 2: clicked delete. Are you sure yes, Opie as a big 95 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: as glible go oh, my wife says that she's actually 96 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,600 Speaker 2: gonna change this time, and that I never really forgave 97 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 2: her and that's why she kept talking to the guys. 98 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: See, that's gaslighting. It's your fault because you didn't forgive 99 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: me for cheating on you, so I'm gonna still cheat 100 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: on you. 101 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 2: She says, this time she's really going to stop, but 102 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 2: I have a hard time believing it, as you freaking should. 103 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 2: Or even if she does stop, I fear that when 104 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 2: things don't go so well between us, she'll start doing 105 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 2: it again. I really love her, but can't keep living 106 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 2: like this. Is there any situation in which this can work? 107 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 3: What do I do? 108 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,839 Speaker 1: Cut ties, cut it out of your life. 109 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 2: My question is, like we've had a few stories where 110 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 2: they're like, I really love this person. 111 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 3: Why do you love someone who does this to you? 112 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 3: That is just the question. 113 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the hard thing about loving someone. Man, it 114 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 4: can be irrational. That's why, like there's so many abusive 115 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 4: reallylationships where the partners will stay together because it's like, 116 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 4: oh but I love them, but it is abusive, and 117 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 4: it's I think it comes down to a self worth thing, 118 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 4: Like you have to think you are worthy of a 119 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 4: better type of love than the love that you're saving 120 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 4: from your partner, And sometimes it's hard if you don't 121 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 4: have any context of what that better love could be, 122 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 4: or if you're fearful that it doesn't exist, and some 123 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 4: people will choose to be comfortable in a relationship that 124 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 4: doesn't work then to leave a relationship like leave and 125 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 4: go to a relationship that they just don't know what 126 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:31,119 Speaker 4: will happen. 127 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, op, you deserve better, truly better. 128 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 2: Well, guys, on that note, subscribe for more of sam 129 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 2: Samuel Donner's relationship. But actually that's our next that's our 130 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 2: next channel, our slash Samuel Donner's relationship advice. 131 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 4: Call in with your relationship, doctor Scott, and I will 132 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 4: freaking solve it. 133 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 3: Honestly, we could. We could review some doctor Phil or something. 134 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, doctor Phil, move over. 135 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 3: We'll come over you