WEBVTT - Andra Day Rises Up as Billie Holiday 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:05.920 I'm Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the Thing 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:11.680 from My Heart Radio. Earlier this year, Andred Day won 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:15.319 a Golden Globe for Best Actress in the Daniels The 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:19.520 United States Versus Billie Holiday. It's a magnificent acting and 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:24.000 musical performance. Andre sang all of Billy Holiday's songs in 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:29.400 the film, including Strange Fruit. Holidays celebrated an unflinching song 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:35.000 about lynching. The film focuses on the battle waged by 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:38.479 the Federal Bureau of Narcotics against the jazz singer in 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:42.800 the nineteen forties and fifties, ostensibly about her heroin addiction, 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:46.360 but also in an attempt to keep her from performing 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:50.320 Strange Fruit. Prior to the film, Andred Day was known 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:54.400 as a singer and performer. The United States Versus Billie 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:58.280 Holiday is her first feature film. Amazingly, it's a role 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:01.600 she nearly turned down. I actually had this idea in 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:04.600 my head that if I did this role, I didn't 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:07.080 want to be that person like they'd go. Man, Billy 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:09.679 Holliday is so amazing. Oh wow, Diana Ross and Lady 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:13.240 Sings The Buzz was amazing. Alja McDonald on Broadway and 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:15.280 then they'd be like, oh you remember Andrew Day when 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:17.800 she tried to be I was like, I didn't want 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:20.160 to be that girl. So well, what do you realize? 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:22.640 I think, and this is my opinion, is when you're 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:26.120 Will Smith and you're playing Muhammad Ali, what's tough is 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.920 that Ali is one of the great beloved figures in history, 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:32.800 and so when you play Ali, it's tough because everybody's 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:35.520 got Ali in the head. Same thing with Billie Holliday 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:38.920 because she's there and people know the music, but they 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.840 don't really know her. Yeah. Absolutely, you are a young 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:46.840 actress who's bringing Billy Holliday to people today. So when 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:51.000 you came and did it, you are stunning in this movie, 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:54.360 and I mean acting was yes, you can seeing everybody 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:56.200 knew that you had that card in your hand there, 0:01:56.560 --> 0:01:58.480 But you're so wonderful in this Do you feel like 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:00.840 you're an actress now? You know what it is like? 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:04.600 I think I deal like most people obviously to varying degrees. 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:07.840 I deal with that like imposter syndrome thing, right, Yeah, 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:10.200 I feel more like in this world now. But do 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:12.760 I feel like I fit yet? What if it was 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:15.320 a flu? So what's so you're thinking, is this real? 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.560 Is this a fluke? I'm like, go, well, let's see 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:20.760 you when the Golden Globe for Best Actress, you're nominee 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:23.600 for an Academy Award for Best Actress. That's one hell 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.320 of a fluke. Boy, are you really fooling everybody? April 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:31.359 Fools is my favorite holiday so now. But but I'm 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:36.320 also told that you're dramatically different from Billy Holiday. How 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:39.040 are you most different from Billie Holiday? I think just 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:43.040 the way that we manifest pain and trauma, you know 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:44.959 what I'm saying, Like, I think the way that shows 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:48.320 up in our lives, obviously, And though I think everybody 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:50.680 is sort of an addict in different ways, my list 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:52.760 does not show up in in addiction, you know, in 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.360 that way, that type of addiction, I guess. But there's 0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:58.040 a lot just even in our behaviors that's completely different. 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:00.160 You know. The similarities are the fact that we are 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.800 both black women living in America. There will be a 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.359 sisterhood and a kinship in that, you know, naturally, But 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:09.360 I am very different. I didn't cuss or smoke, or 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:11.840 drink or do any type of drugs. I was forty 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:13.600 pounds heavier, so I did have to lose a lot 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:16.000 of weight. I was also abstinent for like almost seven years. 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:19.440 That was like spiritual reasons for me. So I you know, 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:22.880 you've never been married. No, No, never been married. Kids? No, 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.600 no kids. Yeah, I'll never forget when I was doing 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:28.680 like a test shoot during the casting process with Lee 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:30.640 and I had to say something like ship or whatever, 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:32.440 you know, and I was like, oh, what is this ship? 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:34.320 And He's like, you don't cuss? Do I was like no, 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:38.960 He's like, yeah, you gotta work on that. So I just, yeah, 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:43.480 smoke cigarettes, started drinking way too much gin. Probably that 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:47.120 you were abstinent right up to the film. Yeah, it's 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:48.880 not that I never drink in my life before. I 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:50.880 had just stopped drinking like ten years ago, you know, 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.920 because I just I was never really a heavy drinker. 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:55.840 So it was never really for me even in my 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:57.920 younger life. But I did start picking it up for 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.760 the film because at least what that did to my 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.400 rain and how it slowed me down because I'm fast 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.800 and billy holidays like molasses slow, real easy, you know, 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:10.240 So smoking the cigarettes and drinking the alcohol real cigarettes 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.520 on set that they had the herbal cigarettes, but I 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.960 actually started in my life smoking actual cigarettes, but like 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:19.159 light ones. I tried to find really light cigarettes just 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:21.400 because my brain is so not used to it. So 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:23.800 it would really actually slow me down and almost cause 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.320 me to nod in a way that allowed me to 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:28.760 just focus on the emotion of the scene and being 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:30.600 present with the person I'm in the scene with, and 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:33.480 just trying to listen to the director as opposed to like, now, 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.960 be slow. You know, it helped. Honestly, I think if 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:39.080 it were another character, I might not have had to 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:41.279 do that. But you are hard pressed to find a 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:43.880 candid photo of Billy Holiday without a cigarette in her 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:45.920 hand and a drink either in her hand or nearby, 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.800 Like that woman would wake up and drink a pint 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.000 of gym the way you would wake up and drink coffee. 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:53.880 I just felt like there's really no way to fully 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:57.479 do her character justice without somehow immersing myself in that world, 0:04:57.480 --> 0:04:58.919 and so I was like, I'm not going to do 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.839 the heroine, so I'm mine as well make a pop. 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:04.359 So when you're there and you've never acted before in 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:06.719 the film, what do you think they chose you for? 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:09.440 You know, it's funny. I think what got Lee was 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:11.600 that I didn't want the part that I didn't. I 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:15.520 was really like, did not believe. How did he beat you? Through? 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:17.280 My manager? It was funny because he was like, oh, 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:19.359 they want you to do Billy Holliday. Hey. I was like, 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:21.960 first time on an actor beat this is terrible idea 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.080 through and through, you know. And then he didn't want 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.640 to work with me either, and his managers they just 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:28.720 lied to us. Basically, it was like, Lee really wants 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:30.400 to meet you, Angel really wants to meet I was like, 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:34.719 y'all was so full of ship. Everybody does that exactly exactly. 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:37.320 But we met and I was like, you know, he 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.160 describes it and I describe it. It's kind of love 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:41.800 at first sight. Like he could see in me. I 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.800 didn't really have a desire to have the part, but 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.000 I did love her, and I was excited about the 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.880 story and the script and I just wanted to do 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:52.800 her justice. She deserves that. And I could see in 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.320 him he had a chip on his shoulder about the 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:58.880 government successfully being able to keep this piece about the 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:02.080 early war on drugs, her singing strange fruit, her being 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:05.480 really the great godmother of the reinvigorated civil rights movement. 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:07.840 He hated that they were able to keep that from him. 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:09.719 So it was like a vendetta that he had to 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.320 like kind of fulfill to to actually tell her stories. 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:15.360 So I was intrigued by that. I would imagined that 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:19.560 popular stars who crossed over from white and black audiences 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:23.400 like Diana Ross. Diana Ross is an icon of entertainment, 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:25.960 and when she makes the film, I would imagine, there's 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.560 only so far they want to go about how harsh 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.800 they make that racial reality for her. Did you feel 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:34.560 that you wanted to do it more? Honestly? Absolutely, I 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:37.840 actually would venture to say it wasn't so far they 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:39.720 wanted to go. It was as far as they could go. 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.560 You know. That was two and they were making that film. 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:45.320 So Harry janns Linger still alive. He had just been 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.000 awarded a Medal of honor, you know what I mean. 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:50.680 We actually we still use Harry janns Lingers blueprint in 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.359 the War on drugs today, you know. So these people 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:56.680 were still alive, they were still in power. And also 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:58.440 I think the thing that most people don't know is 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:02.400 that Billy's husband and when she died, he was awful, 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:06.159 was played by Billy d Williams, and it was. I 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:08.799 think it was just a necessary, beautiful black love story. 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:11.880 But the real Lewis Mackay was the actual technical director 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:14.320 on the film, so of course he portrays himself as 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:17.119 this hero and I'm trying to save her from Judge. 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:19.160 I'm smooth and I'm light skinned, you know what I 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:22.640 mean all of that, Like only one man could play me. Yeah, exactly, 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:27.680 the handsomest after in Hollywood right now that's available. Get 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:32.480 Billy d in here these so interestingly enough, it's like, 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.080 I think, to me, it's an incredible feat that they 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.680 even made that film at all. You know that Berry 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.040 Gordy got involved and made sure to push that forward. 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:44.160 So but now it was necessary for the world, especially 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:45.960 as we're having all of well, I would say all 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:47.600 of them, but some of the conversations we need to 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:50.760 be having, you know, it's necessary. To me, it's a 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:53.320 tragedy that when we talk about civil rights and great 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:55.440 civil rights leaders, we do not mention her name. You 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:57.200 know what I mean that that they were able to 0:07:57.240 --> 0:08:00.720 successfully spin her narrative into one of just wasted life, 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:03.200 troubled drug addict, and you wanted to bring that to 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.320 the four that she was a civil rights leader, absolutely. 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.080 We're familiar with protest songs now, but that was not 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:11.200 a thing when she was singing Strange Fruit, and that 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:16.000 was probably one of the most just visceral protest songs 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:19.280 you know about lynching black people in America, they would 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:21.679 actually we didn't see it in the film, but Billy 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.400 would sing the song and then her band would hustle 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.239 her out of the club because they would actually chase 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.080 her and shoot into her car with the intent to 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:32.120 kill her multiple times. So, like, we're familiar with protest songs, 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:33.960 but I don't know what it's like to get on 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:35.840 stage and sing, rise up and say, if I do 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:38.000 this song tonight, it will probably be my last night 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:40.280 on Earth. And that's what she faced every time she 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:43.320 got up and did that. So she reinvigorated Thurgod Marshall 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:46.280 along with the death of Himmett too, and the movement. 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:48.040 I don't think it would look the way it did 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.080 without her emboldening the civil rights leaders that we know of. 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:53.680 So she definitely deserves her do when it comes to that, 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:57.360 I think when you think about someone like her, was 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:00.360 it that awareness, was it that passion for civil rights 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:03.320 that made her want to numb herself and check out. Yeah, 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:05.240 I think it was all of that. I think it 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.680 was her upbringing. You know, when you think about the 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:09.600 life that this woman lived. You know, she was raped 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:11.840 when she was ten, and she was actually sent to 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:14.520 basically like Prison for Young Girls, which is a reform 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:17.840 school for girls. You know, she was punished for being 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:19.840 raped by a forty year old man. She was sent 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:22.079 into a brothel at a very young age because at 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.840 the time, as she says, in her own worlds, black 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:26.920 women could only be maids or whores. You know. The 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:28.800 first time Billy Holliday went to prison, actually she was 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:31.199 like fourteen or something like that, and it was because 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.400 she wouldn't sleep with one of the clients that came in, 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:36.040 of course, you know, an older man looking for a 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:39.559 very young girl, and she wouldn't sleep with him because 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:42.960 that wasn't usually her clientele. And he was so bitter 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:44.880 by it that he actually sent the police and sent 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.200 her and her mother to jail. She had a super 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.480 rough upbringing. She lost her father to Jim Crow. Like 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:51.559 he would have survived, there's no reason he should have died. 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.160 It's just that there was no hospital that would take 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:56.400 him because he was black. So she saw people taken down. 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:58.920 She had no family, she had no one, you know. 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:01.360 And then add to that the fact that she is 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:04.080 a black queer woman trying to live freely in the thirties, 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:07.079 forties and fifties, that the entire government's coming after her 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:09.920 for singing this song, and she knows the truth. I 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.480 think it's also understanding with addicts, and she's not just 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:15.360 getting high anymore. She's actually trying to get well stave 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:17.800 off dope sickness on top of all the other cultural 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:21.000 and personal traumas. So it's actually a pretty incredible feat 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:22.960 that she was able to do it given all of that. 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:27.559 You wrote a song Tigress and Tweed I did, yeah, 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:30.319 which is an updated version of Strange Fruit. Is that 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.920 fair to say? Yeah? Yeah, it's in evolved in involve 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:36.959 the Strange Fruit and a conversation between you and her. Yeah, 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:39.760 it's absolutely a conversation between me and her. So that 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:43.880 song was really birthed. Actually, so I I Raphael Satig 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:45.760 actually sent the track. I reached out to him, so 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:47.880 he sent over this beautiful track. But I struggled to 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:50.240 write the lyrics and melle for a long time, and 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:53.439 it wasn't until I really prayed about it, and that 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:55.319 it all kind of came pouring out in the first 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:57.880 thing that was like flip strange fruit, you know what 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.600 I mean, like flip it. You know. If Billy Holiday 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.200 were alive today, how was she wanted to see strange 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.520 fruit evolved? You know? And I think one of the 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.120 first things that I believe was spoken to me about 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.160 it was take them off the tree, like I don't 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:13.520 want a tragic story anymore of them. That song is 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.880 safe for people now because we're still hanging on a tree. 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.599 But what about when we're educated, and we have ownership 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:23.319 and sort of dominion and influence and authority, and are 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:26.040 armed and are unified and are mobilized. You know, well, 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.440 we're not ready for that fruit. So I I thought 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:31.360 about the blood of our ancestors not being wasted but 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.040 used as like a fertilizer, right what Billy Holliday gave up. 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.320 And then I thought about the scent of victory. You know, 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:38.640 you hear that phrase all the time, you know, And 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:41.400 I thought, well, what does that smell like to us? 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:43.400 And I thought it would be the scent of our ancestors, 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:45.720 And so her favorite perfumes later in her life were 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:48.960 a tweet and tigress, and that's where the title came from. 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:51.800 So I just wanted it updated. I wanted it for us. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.280 I wanted it culturally to understand it, and I wanted 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.160 us to see her kind of as like, actually a 0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:59.640 little bit gangster, you know what I mean, because that's 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:05.280 who she was to me, you know. Actor and singer 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:09.280 Andrew Day, another musician I spoke with who's known for 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:13.280 his respect for the musical ancestors, is a mere quest 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:17.480 Love Thompson, the drummer and frontman for The Roots, now 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:21.079 Jimmy Fallon's house band. The Roots had a winding path 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:23.960 to fame. Something tells me, and I'm not saying this 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.040 to be kind, you could write a number one single 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:28.400 in the car on the way to the office right 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.960 now when you leave here, and you didn't do that 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:35.719 because fear. This is what happens. Okay. So when we 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:41.240 started in the idea of The Roots, we would be 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.320 pegged into alternative hip hop. Now, when we first came out, 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:47.280 they were like or they asked jazz. It was like basically, 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:50.520 if you weren't holding your middle finger out to the camera, 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.280 you know, saying singing straight out of Compton. If you 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:58.720 weren't in way, you weren't the status quo of what 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:02.840 people perceived to be as hip hop. Here the rest 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:06.040 of my conversation with quest love that Here's the Thing 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:09.960 dot org. After the break, andrew Day talks about why 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:13.600 she found it impossible to relax during the making of 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:29.680 the United States versus Billy Holiday. I'm Alec Baldwin and 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:33.760 you were listening to Here's the Thing. When andrew Day 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:37.199 won her Golden Globe for Best Actress, she burst into 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.760 tears and was consoled by her parents, who were sitting 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:44.920 on either side of her for the virtual ceremony. I 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.560 was born Seattle, Washington, but like, we moved down to 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:50.839 California when I was like six months old. So San Diego, Yes, 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:52.960 Southeast San Diego is where I was raised. Was your 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:55.079 dad in the military, Yeah he was. He was to 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.480 twenty six years. He was in the Navy. Yeah, so 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.360 that's why we were stationed in San Diego. And and siblings. Yeah, 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:03.920 I have two younger brothers, one older sister. We have 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.960 a full house. And what was music in your life 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.920 when you were a child. Oh, I mean everything is 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:12.240 the soundtrack to everything that we did when I think 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:15.559 about music, I always think about like my mom's dance moves. 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.680 She has like this sort of shake bounce dance moves, 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:21.240 she always says. And then my dad washing the cars 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:23.720 or cleaning the cars or working on the engines, are 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.800 working on something out in the yard, and we'd sing together, 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:30.400 you know, he loved jazz, and then singing Stevie together, 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:33.360 singing Luther together. But Billie Holiday, my introduction to her 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:36.200 was actually, I know I heard her when I was young, 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.360 but my real memory of her is when my musical 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:42.440 theater instructor at the school I was going to introduced 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:44.080 me to her when I was like eleven years old, 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:46.200 and he gave me two singers. He said, you need 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:48.280 to listen to Billy Holiday. You need to listen to 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:51.120 Janis Joplin. I was like, okay, le fut out perfect? 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:53.160 And when did you first get up in front of people? 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.200 And most of the guests we've had on this show 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.480 who are musicians and singers, especially vocalists, have talked about 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:02.360 the choir or some choruses were some of the beginnings. 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:04.200 Is that true for you as well? Yeah? I think 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:06.520 it was, Well, I guess because I was inquired when 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:08.360 I was in high school, but before that, I was 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:09.840 like at the church we went to, it was more 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.600 like a praise band. But yeah, so I think probably 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:14.080 the first time I got up and sang in front 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.880 of people was maybe like twelve twelve or thirteen because 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:18.800 musical theater, and then I was singing in church as 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:21.120 well too, and then choire at school. So I think 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:23.680 that's I knew I could sing when I was about six, 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.360 but really in front of people and other than my family, 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:29.120 seeing if it was not a fluke. That was like 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.480 around that age when people were starting to say, oh, 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.520 you can actually do this. Were you confident in music, 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:37.480 like like right away up in front of people singing, 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:39.840 and then later on recording music where you confident in 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.240 a way that you weren't about acting. This sounds so 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.480 weird to say, and I and I think I need 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.760 to excavate this more and like actually understand it. But 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:49.040 I knew that I could sing, but I did not 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.040 like the tone of my own voice. I think in 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:53.760 the very beginning I wasn't fully confident in it because 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:57.360 I wanted it to sound like Whitney and I wanted 0:15:57.360 --> 0:16:01.640 it to sound like I. Still I still would like that, 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:04.960 so I still love that shower trying to hit that 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:09.640 Wetney Man exactly hasn't gone away at all. Then the 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:11.600 singers of the time too, you know, like they was 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.120 listening to Destiny's Child at that time, and then like 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:16.400 Lauren Hill. So I was like, god, I want to 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:18.800 sound like them. But it was actually Billie Holiday, which 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:20.680 is why I think I have such a special connection 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.680 with her. Bill Doyle was my musical theater instructor, and 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.000 he said, listen to her. So I heard a song 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:28.720 called Sugar, and then the next one was Strange Fruit. 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:33.080 But Sugar like shook me, you know, because she sounded 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.600 so different. I'm like, this is the greatest jazz singer, 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.920 Like this is the mother of jazz. Her tone is 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:41.040 so different, like she's not It didn't sound like a rething, 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.200 it didn't sound like Whitney. But I was so transfixed. 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.560 I was enamored. Like her voice, you know what it 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.840 feels like like almost like a rickety roller coaster that 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:50.800 never falls off the tracks. You know what I'm saying, 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:54.320 Like you're almost waiting exactly exactly it was her, But 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:57.560 you grew up singing and you felt confidencing and it 0:16:57.680 --> 0:16:59.600 just was natural, that all kind of evolved in a 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:03.120 very very natural way. Yeah, yeah, that definitely. And so 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:06.560 the very first day, now you've obviously had prepped and 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.000 there's wardrobe fittings, and you're around people on talk talk talk, 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:12.080 I mean, when you're doing a really serious role and 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:13.919 you're working with a serious group of people. I mean, 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:17.119 Daniels is a really heavy duty director. And then the 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:23.600 first day of shooting, how do you feel the first shooting? 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.879 Oh my god, the first day of shooting. I literally 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.600 thought my heart was going to Like I thought, it 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:34.080 doesn't have a heart attack, Like I couldn't stop it. 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:37.640 And I was also like email, what though I had 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:39.840 made up in my mind, I said, it's fine, They're 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.199 going to discover today that I'm terrible, and they'll have 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:44.320 plenty of time to like find an actress that can 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:48.280 come into it. So I was nervous. I was almost 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:50.840 like I had resigned, you know what I'm saying, Like 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.600 it was just like complete resignation, Like that's fine, They're 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.160 totally going to realize this is I'm here to take 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:59.679 the crew pretty much exactly. And I think it was 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.480 it was like bizarre because I mean, he was nervous 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.120 to Lee was terrified. He didn't know if I could 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:05.640 do it, but he just he was in and he 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.160 was he believed it. But you know, it's different when 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.960 you're on the first day. And so my first day 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:11.800 of shooting, I was so grateful that it was actually 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:14.719 with Natasha Leone, who was just like it was amazing 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:16.960 to be able to watch her work. And so we 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:20.280 do the first scene and so Lee comes up to 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:21.960 us and I guess to give us notes, but in 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.439 my mind, I was like, great. I looking at Miriam, 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:26.000 who is my assistant on said I was like, let's 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:27.600 just make sure we're ready to go, like when they 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:29.760 kick us out. And so he comes up and he 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:32.719 starts giving notes, you know, and he's telling Natasha something, 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:35.200 and then he's telling me something in Bobla and he's 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.000 like believe that was great, and then he like takes 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:40.600 off and I was like, so I do it was 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:43.160 so like, wait a minute, am I still in the game. 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:46.440 Like it was a really really crazy feeling, like and 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:48.640 so you know, because I'm kind of looking at him 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:51.919 for more, like do you need more and more notes? More? No, 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.120 that was perfect. One of the worst places you can 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:57.520 be in a film. It seems it's not true, but 0:18:57.600 --> 0:19:00.320 it just seems to echo. This way is when you 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:02.280 think the director is happy with what you're doing and 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.080 he just he just floats on yeah exactly, gives all 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:06.840 these notes all these people and he's like, okay, you 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:09.159 you're great now, Roger, Yeah, I want to do this 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:10.399 and come in here. Then you sit there and you 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:13.360