Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 2: But you're a guess to my home.
Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no guests.
Speaker 1: Your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So.
Speaker 2: How do you dare to surbey me?
Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm pretter Winegarl. We're
Speaker 3: in the backyard. What's happening. It's Saturday morning. I've been
Speaker 3: to target the big target. The upper level of the
Speaker 3: big target is probably I would say it's fifty degrees
Speaker 3: hotter than the lower level. So if you're going to target,
Speaker 3: just keep that in mind. That's the big target. What
Speaker 3: else is? Oh? Actually there's there is an announcement I
Speaker 3: need to make. I got a text this morning. It says, hello, Lucy,
Speaker 3: please cancel my yoga class next week. I'm Eileen. Thank you. So,
Speaker 3: if you're Lucy or II Leen, work that out between yourselves.
Speaker 3: If that's a spam, it's an incredible attempt. I mean
Speaker 3: it's actually probably the most likely to get me of
Speaker 3: any type of spam. Lucy and I Leen all my
Speaker 3: love to you and your yoga. Oh, let's get into
Speaker 3: the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Maria Thayer. Maria, Yes, welcome, welcome.
Speaker 2: To I said, no, Gi, thank you for having me.
Speaker 3: Oh really, of course, very happy to be here. How
Speaker 3: could I not have you?
Speaker 2: Good point?
Speaker 3: You just told me as we were walking in. Yes,
Speaker 3: I mean you were devastatingly late. Let's just get that
Speaker 3: out of the way.
Speaker 4: It wouldn't make the pot yet. I did say I
Speaker 4: was going to be ten minutes late, and then I
Speaker 4: was even later than that.
Speaker 3: You show up on a Lisa and I are in
Speaker 3: a fight over how late you are. It was a big,
Speaker 3: big problem for us. I'm sweating on a Lisa's sweating
Speaker 3: or ready to cancel the recording. And then you tell
Speaker 3: me you're coming from Montana.
Speaker 4: I am coming from Montana. I meant to come here.
Speaker 4: It's a long story. And as I also said, I'm
Speaker 4: a boring guest.
Speaker 3: So we're gonna circle back to you being boring. Let
Speaker 3: me know, we'll keep touching in with how boring you
Speaker 3: are throughout the show. Okay, I'll give you a rating
Speaker 3: every ten minutes.
Speaker 2: Who could say boring? I could say boring, You could
Speaker 2: say boring. At least you could also.
Speaker 3: Say a Lisa's a nice new troll on Alas has
Speaker 3: no steaks here.
Speaker 4: I my family's in Montana and I tried to get
Speaker 4: back to Los Angeles yesterday. Oh huh, And I fly
Speaker 4: on passes. My mom was a flight attendant for many years.
Speaker 4: Oh incredible, So I always can fly.
Speaker 2: It cost me.
Speaker 4: It's very cheap to fly, but I'm always the last
Speaker 4: person on the flight, right right, you know how stand
Speaker 4: by works.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I got my mother up.
Speaker 4: All the flights were booked yesterday, but the one that's
Speaker 4: left at five thirty am was not.
Speaker 2: So I put.
Speaker 4: Myself on that flight and I overslept, and my ninety
Speaker 4: ninety eighty four year old mother got me up all
Speaker 4: and drove me to the airport. And when I got
Speaker 4: to I have a feeling. I have a when I
Speaker 4: go to the airport, I want to be as late
Speaker 4: as possible.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like I don't want.
Speaker 4: I know the different airports like JFK you have to
Speaker 4: be forty five minutes early. Billings, Montana, you have to
Speaker 4: be a half an hour early unless you want to
Speaker 4: check bags, and then it's forty five minutes early.
Speaker 2: Right, So I try to get there at forty six
Speaker 2: minutes early thirty one minutes early.
Speaker 3: You know, right, you don't want to spend in any
Speaker 3: extra time now.
Speaker 4: So I got to the airport in Billings, Montana thirty
Speaker 4: three minutes early.
Speaker 5: Oh so I was on time, sure, sure, but but
Speaker 5: I found it.
Speaker 2: Very difficult to check in on the machine. I usually
Speaker 2: run in the machines like a maniac.
Speaker 4: And so by the time I got to an agent
Speaker 4: I was it was maybe twenty eight minutes early. Oh no,
Speaker 4: not even early, twenty eight minutes before the.
Speaker 3: Flight, right right, that's cutting it close.
Speaker 4: I thought, well, they told me it was late, and
Speaker 4: I said, well, I don't have any bags, and I could.
Speaker 2: The Billing's airport is just a little.
Speaker 4: Tiny slip of an airport, right, it's got it's to
Speaker 4: get from the airport to the outside of the airport.
Speaker 2: To your gate maybe takes five minutes.
Speaker 3: This is very Burbank.
Speaker 2: Oh Burbank, Oh Burbank. I mean, what a dream Burbank is?
Speaker 3: Oh, Earth, heaven on Earth it is.
Speaker 2: I can't believe that Burbank exists.
Speaker 3: I know, it's bizarre. It feels like some glitch in reality.
Speaker 3: It really still an airport.
Speaker 2: That's that's there's some pitch in there somewhere. I don't
Speaker 2: know what it is.
Speaker 3: It's a time.
Speaker 2: It's InCred of all Burbank, Burbank. Yeah, it's incredible.
Speaker 4: And I was flying into Burbank actually, so I was
Speaker 4: going from magical airport to magical airport. But the people
Speaker 4: at Billings Airport, they are extremely serious people, Like they
Speaker 4: have the most intense security I've ever seen on any interesting,
Speaker 4: anywhere airplane. I used to fly around with a little
Speaker 4: pocket knife in my bag, and nobody would ever say
Speaker 4: anything to me about it. Like go through JFK, you know,
Speaker 4: go to like, you know, fly to a different country,
Speaker 4: No one whatever, say what is this pocket knife? Billy's Montana, Billy.
Speaker 4: No one would ever do anything there.
Speaker 2: It is, It's nothing.
Speaker 4: They always they took my pocket knife twice, and so
Speaker 4: finally I just said, I'm not going to have a
Speaker 4: pocket knife anymore. How is it girls supposed to defend
Speaker 4: herself without her pocket knife?
Speaker 3: Wittle down on a piece of wood, all of these sort
Speaker 3: of things.
Speaker 2: Yes, why this, this lady's this. This lady said.
Speaker 4: You're too late, And I said, well, I said, I said,
Speaker 4: oh come on, I could just be there right now.
Speaker 4: I'm uh And I said please radio and then ask them,
Speaker 4: and she did that thing where you do when I
Speaker 4: have done, when I have worked at a job, They're like,
Speaker 4: it's too late to have another person on the front.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes she.
Speaker 2: Did that, and they were like, yeah, it's too late.
Speaker 2: Was like, it can't be. And I stood there because
Speaker 2: I just I was incredulous.
Speaker 3: I just stood there.
Speaker 4: But I knew that I had no power and like
Speaker 4: I couldn't. I was flying on a non red pass.
Speaker 2: Didn't I couldn't make a.
Speaker 3: Fuss, right, technically A customer a customer.
Speaker 4: So I just stood there for like what felt like
Speaker 4: thirty seconds but probably was ten seconds, and then I
Speaker 4: just said, okay.
Speaker 2: All that, and then I went Oh, I went home.
Speaker 4: I went home, and then the next morning I came
Speaker 4: this morning, Yeah, I came, same lady.
Speaker 3: Oh, no, same lady. Has you changed her attitude?
Speaker 2: No, she did it.
Speaker 4: I smiled at her, but I made sure that I
Speaker 4: checked it before so we didn't have to have we
Speaker 4: didn't have to speak to each other.
Speaker 2: But I did smile at her, and she did not
Speaker 2: smile it. She looked scared of me.
Speaker 3: I will tell you the truth. Well, she knew that
Speaker 3: you had something on her. At this point that you
Speaker 3: could and may have a pocket knife to take your revenge.
Speaker 3: So the initial one was your mom just idling outside
Speaker 3: the airport.
Speaker 2: Yes, she knew.
Speaker 4: God, I had a feeling that this was going to
Speaker 4: be a bad situation, so I said, just wait for
Speaker 4: my mom. And we live right by the airport and Billings,
Speaker 4: so it's very short. So the flight left at six
Speaker 4: forty and we were both back in bed by six
Speaker 4: twenty two.
Speaker 3: Oh so you were able to get some more sleep. Yes,
Speaker 3: that's all that I care about.
Speaker 2: Yes, no, me too. That's really How much sleep do
Speaker 2: you get a night?
Speaker 3: I get roughly eight to nine hours?
Speaker 2: Yes, meat, do you two? I mean, how lazy and
Speaker 2: lucky are we?
Speaker 3: Very fortunate?
Speaker 2: But we live so close to Burbank. We get eight
Speaker 2: to nine hours of sleep every day.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, what more could we ask?
Speaker 2: Truly?
Speaker 3: True? Truly, that's true. I have to I need to
Speaker 3: start my gratitude chart or whatever they have. Those will
Speaker 3: be the first two things. But I'll tell you what
Speaker 3: if it's If it's less than eight hours, I am
Speaker 3: hell on earth. I am a nightmare, horrible person. I
Speaker 3: can't my body cannot handle less than eight hours of sleep.
Speaker 2: So what do you do when you have like a
Speaker 2: five hour a die?
Speaker 3: I'm nauseous, I'm mad, Oh so nauseous.
Speaker 2: Does coffee help?
Speaker 3: I mean, of course it helps a little Yeah, it
Speaker 3: helps a little bit, but like only for a minute,
Speaker 3: and then I'm back into a bad mood and I'm
Speaker 3: of course like making drama out of it and blaming everybody.
Speaker 3: Everyone's my enemy. So what about you? Are you okay?
Speaker 4: No, I'm lovely, of course you No, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I think I am lovely because I just have to be.
Speaker 4: I'm just like, I'm having enough guts to be a jerk, like.
Speaker 3: Either do I. But that's that's how bad it is
Speaker 3: for me. I mean just chemically, I'm an absolute mess
Speaker 3: without eight hours of sleep.
Speaker 4: Do you when you have to get up at like
Speaker 4: five in the morning, I don't know, like like I
Speaker 4: did this morning?
Speaker 2: Did do you? Can you go to sleep at a
Speaker 2: normal time? I mean, so you can get.
Speaker 3: No, Yeah, it's like I'm still going to bed at midnight,
Speaker 3: you know, yes.
Speaker 4: And knowing that you have to get up makes me
Speaker 4: not have to want to go to sleep because I'm
Speaker 4: just like I just have.
Speaker 3: To get up anyway of course.
Speaker 4: Yeah, as well stay up the rest of my life getting.
Speaker 3: Up, I'll be you awake for two straight weeks and
Speaker 3: die and that'll be the end of it for me. Wow.
Speaker 3: So you were but you were on a flight this
Speaker 3: morning and you were at the Billings airport at what
Speaker 3: five am?
Speaker 2: No, that would have been too late.
Speaker 4: Oh sorry, said I said six to forty, but I
Speaker 4: meant five thirty. Yeah, okay, right, sorry, Yeah, I guess
Speaker 4: I'm not quite there. And so that I had to
Speaker 4: come back and I had to walk my dog, my
Speaker 4: dog that the person takes care of my dog loves
Speaker 4: my dog too much and just lets her do whatever
Speaker 4: she wants.
Speaker 2: So then she's always just like a.
Speaker 3: Oh a menace.
Speaker 2: She's a menace.
Speaker 3: She's like stopped obeying the rules from exactly.
Speaker 2: It's what they dog traders call it, titled.
Speaker 3: Oh it's very entitled. Yes, a temporary entitle. Yes, you'll
Speaker 3: have to wean her off. Yeah. Basically what kind of
Speaker 3: dog is she?
Speaker 2: She's a dog.
Speaker 4: Small, large, she's too large for me, but I love her.
Speaker 4: She's not the dog I would have picked out, but
Speaker 4: I that's the dog I got. I love her so much.
Speaker 2: The case fifty pounds.
Speaker 3: Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2: Let's have my size.
Speaker 3: That's I'm trying to compete here, that's my same weight.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to lose a few get down to forty.
Speaker 3: Everyone pray for my weight loss journey. I mean, I
Speaker 3: still have time to get into a swimsuit by the
Speaker 3: end of the summer at forty pounds.
Speaker 2: I laugh a lot. I love to laugh. You have
Speaker 2: to know that.
Speaker 3: Please apologize for laughing.
Speaker 2: I really love to laugh.
Speaker 3: Let me ask you about this pocket knife. I wanted
Speaker 3: to circle back. Sure, what were you doing with the
Speaker 3: pocket knife? What do you mean, like, what situations where
Speaker 3: you're finding yourself in where you're like ook time to
Speaker 3: pull out the pocket knife and use it.
Speaker 2: You'd be surprised, of course. Uh, I don't remember.
Speaker 4: But it's just nice to have one because like you
Speaker 4: can use the tip of it to like, you know,
Speaker 4: like right now, I could carve my name into.
Speaker 2: This the table.
Speaker 3: You were using it for vandalism. Your life is a vandal.
Speaker 2: They took it away from.
Speaker 3: You were carving your name into an airport seat. No,
Speaker 3: that's that's an actually extremely valid reason to have a
Speaker 3: pocket knife.
Speaker 2: Works you find once you have one You're like, how
Speaker 2: did I ever live without this?
Speaker 3: Was it like a Swiss army knife did have a
Speaker 3: bunch of it was just.
Speaker 4: Like it was a little I mean truly, if I
Speaker 4: had gone crazy on a plane and tried to hurt people,
Speaker 4: I don't know where gonna hurt it was it never could.
Speaker 2: Like even if they just laid there let me stab.
Speaker 4: Them, it would could never have killed anybody.
Speaker 2: It was very small. It was like, you know, an
Speaker 2: inch and a half blade?
Speaker 3: Which blade?
Speaker 4: But I'm like someone that like my dad is a
Speaker 4: big is a big you know, he's a Montana guy,
Speaker 4: and like he and so a lot of for a
Speaker 4: lot of my major birthdays or not even major birthdays,
Speaker 4: he would give me a gun.
Speaker 3: Wow, what sort of guns? Well?
Speaker 4: I had a twenty two and then I had a
Speaker 4: thirty eight special wow for when I got a car.
Speaker 2: And then so to keep myself to keep carjackers away.
Speaker 3: How many carjackers did you keep away? Never?
Speaker 2: Never, not a single one?
Speaker 3: Killed fifty carjackers.
Speaker 4: And then when I when I when I got into
Speaker 4: college in New York City, he gave me a derringer
Speaker 4: pistol to keep it my purse.
Speaker 2: What a little one shot Darringer.
Speaker 3: That is incredible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, none of these guns made it anywhere. Like they didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 3: You didn't. It didn't get to New York. No.
Speaker 4: I mean I think that the I think I'm not
Speaker 4: sure about this, but I think that one of the reasons,
Speaker 4: besides it'd been crazy that I would definitely like shoot
Speaker 4: myself in the foot.
Speaker 3: We're on the same page here, is.
Speaker 4: That I think if you don't have a registered your
Speaker 4: gun is a registered York which is hard to get.
Speaker 2: It's like a year in prison minimum. Like, I would
Speaker 2: just end up in prison.
Speaker 3: There's nothing in the world I want more than for
Speaker 3: you to end up in prison because someone found you
Speaker 3: with a gun in New York.
Speaker 2: Don't put that out there.
Speaker 3: Incredible thing for you.
Speaker 2: What a career movie.
Speaker 3: A one shot so it just has one bullet in it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to be like, somebody's got to be
Speaker 2: very close. It's for rape. Oh, I mean, not to rape.
Speaker 4: Someone to if someone's got to be close enough that
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that I brought up rapes And that's such
Speaker 2: a beautiful morning. I won't I do that again. Guns, guns, knives,
Speaker 2: This is incredible.
Speaker 3: It's called the darringer, darringer.
Speaker 4: You never heard that daringer like the like you know,
Speaker 4: Ma Moyle?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about? Do you know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying right now?
Speaker 3: I actually am not the way I'm tracking. This is
Speaker 3: not a.
Speaker 4: Gun related because it's like a A is a foreskin? Yes, no,
Speaker 4: that's not that's not Oh and I brought up foreskin?
Speaker 3: What keep going re association a mole a spy? Is
Speaker 3: that what we're getting?
Speaker 2: Gangsters? Oil?
Speaker 3: Oh? A gangster's foreskin. Every gangster's foreskin carries a denger.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. Okay, is showing us a Derringer, which
Speaker 3: is an incredible gun? Is that this isn't? No?
Speaker 2: I just meant like, no, that's that's mine.
Speaker 4: Was pink.
Speaker 2: This is incredible.
Speaker 3: You have to carry it. Just don't have a bullet
Speaker 3: in it. Please, it got still, it got stock car.
Speaker 3: Oh No, so that has been used for murder. Someone's
Speaker 3: been killed with your pink derringer. How do you feel?
Speaker 2: I don't know. People's people mostly stabbed. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Uh, you know, that's their business.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how you want to murder someone as your business?
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be nosey and poke around. How
Speaker 3: you're killing people, I don't know.
Speaker 4: There's the down from my dad's house. There used to
Speaker 4: be a meth like a few houses down used to
Speaker 4: be a meth lab.
Speaker 3: I guess, I'm sure.
Speaker 4: And we once left the door unlocked, and I guess
Speaker 4: some people came in, but they didn't steal very much.
Speaker 2: They just stole. They everyone at that point.
Speaker 4: A lot of there was my we I had some
Speaker 4: uncles and aunts staying there too, so there was a
Speaker 4: lot of people that were in the that had their
Speaker 4: stuff in the house.
Speaker 2: And this story is crazy.
Speaker 4: But anyway, when we came back, people had like someone
Speaker 4: had like lost their curling iron lost there. So these
Speaker 4: people just came in and just like just a few
Speaker 4: things that they needed, like you would go to a
Speaker 4: target or something. They didn't but they didn't steal like
Speaker 4: the things that.
Speaker 3: Like the weapons and the money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the money. The weapons of the money, we
Speaker 2: have a lot of those.
Speaker 3: They got into the vault. Where are you from, Utah?
Speaker 3: Tracking I mean, I've been to Montana, I've been to Wyoming,
Speaker 3: all of these states, Idaho, so I'm familiar with this
Speaker 3: sort of culture on some level.
Speaker 4: I was in Utah this morning. You had to stop
Speaker 4: their sal Salt Lake City is Salt Lake City. The
Speaker 4: airport is is besides Burbank. That's a really wonderful airport,
Speaker 4: don't you think the new one? Yeah, the new one?
Speaker 3: What because this airport actually has gone a lot of
Speaker 3: mixed reviews.
Speaker 2: Oh really interesting.
Speaker 4: Well the food is fantastic, a lot of food and
Speaker 4: it's very reasonably priced.
Speaker 3: What what did you eat? Well?
Speaker 2: Nothing today?
Speaker 4: But uh, usually they have some place that they just
Speaker 4: it's one of those you know that sore lemonade that
Speaker 4: restaurant lead It used to be at Lax.
Speaker 2: It's like lemonade, but it's in Utah.
Speaker 3: Oh okay.
Speaker 2: But they you know, they have uh I don't know.
Speaker 4: They had a BF Chang's.
Speaker 3: Is that a BF Changs?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Well, they had a BF Chang.
Speaker 3: That's the knockoff. I believe that would be in the
Speaker 3: solid airport BF check mister Cheng's son Brandon. But they
Speaker 3: do have they've like I mean, it is compared to
Speaker 3: the old solid airport such a it feels so metropolitan
Speaker 3: and I mean.
Speaker 4: But it doesn't it doesn't have those smoking vegetable bules.
Speaker 2: It does remember those.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, of course those were those little like terrariums
Speaker 3: that you got to smoke in.
Speaker 2: I loved it.
Speaker 3: It's such a bizarre We're putting.
Speaker 2: Our foot down and you can smoke. You have to
Speaker 2: go outside.
Speaker 3: The weirdest possible. What airline are you flying into Salt Lake?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: This is, I think is what Delta? Okay, see that
Speaker 3: makes sense people if you fly Delta, because I was
Speaker 3: flying southwest into salt Lake, southwest into salt Lake for
Speaker 3: a period and there you had to essentially walk four
Speaker 3: miles to get to the parking after that, and I
Speaker 3: think people are freaking out about that.
Speaker 2: Oh I don't, I don't. I never leave the airport.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just popping in, popping out. So I think
Speaker 3: the walking is what was really getting out people.
Speaker 2: It is just it is just a straight line.
Speaker 3: Yeah right.
Speaker 4: It doesn't seem like it used to be like terminal
Speaker 4: like a line within terminals out.
Speaker 3: I don't know, no, this now it just feels like
Speaker 3: it's almost just like extremely long.
Speaker 2: It's probably good.
Speaker 4: For people that have shops there because they're like, everyone
Speaker 4: who goes to the airport goes past my.
Speaker 3: Shop A lot of yeah, a lot. When you're working retail,
Speaker 3: you've got to have those eyes. You've got to have
Speaker 3: people looking in. There are a lot of retail stores
Speaker 3: there that are like no one absolutely known as buying
Speaker 3: a bag. This is salt Lake City on it, you know,
Speaker 3: like a beautiful person. It's just that sort of thing.
Speaker 3: It just feels like it's an illusion at a hologram.
Speaker 3: No one's going in those stores. Yes, yeah, but salt
Speaker 3: Lake you flew in for just a moment, a moment.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's what I Yes.
Speaker 4: Salt Lake City is also my like nightmare airport in
Speaker 4: some ways because I always get stuck there. Oh like
Speaker 4: during the pandemic, I got stuck there.
Speaker 3: For how long?
Speaker 2: For like five days? Ah, and I it was it
Speaker 2: was I.
Speaker 4: Was going to Montana and this is I was going
Speaker 4: back home to Montana. But I was working during the
Speaker 4: day on Zoom, so I couldn't fly during the day.
Speaker 2: I only cold flight night.
Speaker 4: So I flew into cet Lake City, got stuck there.
Speaker 4: They canceled the flight and so I got stuck there.
Speaker 4: Would never have flown if I didn't know that there
Speaker 4: was seats on this light. Stuck there, and then I
Speaker 4: had to get a hotel room and I did have
Speaker 4: a car. Salt Lake City did not have it together
Speaker 4: at that point, and they probably do now, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: But called postmates and it would take like an hour
Speaker 2: and a half. Oh, truly, it was crazy. And I
Speaker 2: was in one of those airport. It was it was
Speaker 2: a very it was dark time.
Speaker 3: Oh. I mean for the world, what hotel you're staying at?
Speaker 3: Just some airport?
Speaker 2: Hotel port hotel?
Speaker 3: Oh? Five days of that is prison.
Speaker 2: It was prison.
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 2: But whatever, you know, I got eight hours of sleep,
Speaker 2: So what could you know? And Burbank still existed, so you.
Speaker 3: Knew everything continued to exist, you know. Yeah, and you've
Speaker 3: got a story out of it for a podcast? What
Speaker 3: more could you ask for?
Speaker 2: Story? But sure I could. I should these a little work,
Speaker 2: but workshop. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Do you think that the Billings Airport security is so
Speaker 3: strong because of the unibomber? Do you think that because
Speaker 3: isn't that where he was living?
Speaker 4: Yes, he was living. He uh, he's from Montana. Ted
Speaker 4: Kazinski should say his name, he doesn't, but he uh.
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe they're like, we don't want another ten.
Speaker 2: People are probably mixed on if they like him or not.
Speaker 3: There Oh, that's true, because he did have there was
Speaker 3: some of that manifesto was kind of like, if you
Speaker 3: lean far right enough or whatever into enough conspiracies, you
Speaker 3: can get on board with Ted.
Speaker 4: It's crazy that the New York isn't in the New
Speaker 4: York Times published manifesto.
Speaker 5: That's insane, But we're all better for it.
Speaker 3: We all learned some importance.
Speaker 2: It's really screwed up.
Speaker 3: He got published.
Speaker 2: He got published on the front page of the Time.
Speaker 3: I don't I can't speak to you, but I have
Speaker 3: never been published in the Times either. Maybe we need
Speaker 3: to move to Montana getting some more interesting ideas. He died.
Speaker 3: I think he died recently, all.
Speaker 2: Right, But but in prison, Yes, yes.
Speaker 3: Caught him, They trapped him.
Speaker 4: Yes, his brother I think turned him and noticed that
Speaker 4: his language sounded like, oh, that sounds like my my brother.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine reading that and being like, hmm, this guy.
Speaker 3: I've gotten letters like this before. Wow, what a betrayal
Speaker 3: it is?
Speaker 4: It is there There are also you. You run into
Speaker 4: a lot of Ted Kazinski's in Montana. You know, they're
Speaker 4: they're rapid, there's isolation. They're not like probably Harvard I
Speaker 4: think he was like Harvard educated, am I education or something?
Speaker 3: Right? He was like highly intelligent, right, but just yeah,
Speaker 3: an we.
Speaker 2: Say that though they always say like like that.
Speaker 4: Guy from Ida home a Moscow, Idaho.
Speaker 2: You know, the guy who killed the ladies and the
Speaker 2: man in the in the college.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's pretty recent. Yeah, he was supposed to be.
Speaker 2: Like he's so smart. Fun seem that smart.
Speaker 3: I mean he's like he was like, what was his plan?
Speaker 2: Yeah he didn't not that.
Speaker 3: It's just a smart nerd. That was mad.
Speaker 2: I don't who know, who knows.
Speaker 3: And then he got caught. He drove to Pennsylvania or something, right,
Speaker 3: he got.
Speaker 2: Caught for doing like everything. I mean, it's hard to
Speaker 2: murder people nowadays.
Speaker 3: You can't murder anyone anymore.
Speaker 2: No, you can't.
Speaker 3: Well, I think I think we do need to talk
Speaker 3: about something else. Okay, there's something I do need to
Speaker 3: speak to you about. Unfortunately, I was looking forward to
Speaker 3: having you here on the podcast today, despite you telling
Speaker 3: me over and over I'm boring, I'm boring, I'm boring.
Speaker 3: So far I'm giving you like a fifty out of ten.
Speaker 3: I mean all sorts of you.
Speaker 2: We see, that's no past.
Speaker 3: No, that's a D fifty out of ten. Now you
Speaker 3: get an f. No, you were five hundred percent. You're
Speaker 3: you're killing it. I mean, we're finding out about the
Speaker 3: pocket knife, trying to sneaking pocket knives onto planes, guns,
Speaker 3: I mean, life of crime, methadics, stealing, curling irons. All
Speaker 3: of our other guests are failures at this point. But
Speaker 3: you know, I was looking forward to having your here today.
Speaker 3: I was really excited to talk to you.
Speaker 2: I was excited to talk to you too.
Speaker 3: So I was a little surprised, because, of course the
Speaker 3: podcast is called I said no gifts. I was a
Speaker 3: little thrown when you came kind of skipping into my
Speaker 3: backyard holding what could not be more clearly a gift,
Speaker 3: beautifully wrapped.
Speaker 2: Is beautifully wrapped.
Speaker 4: I'm going to need that garbage that garbage bag back. Actually,
Speaker 4: I don't like wasting a garbage bag.
Speaker 3: I'm giving. I'm making sure you take that home with you. Well,
Speaker 3: shall I open this gift here on the podcast? You okay? So,
Speaker 3: as you mentioned, it is just it's gorgeously wrapped in
Speaker 3: a garbage bag, beautiful, obviously new garbage bag. I'm going
Speaker 3: to reach it.
Speaker 2: It smell the garbage book bag smells good, doesn't it.
Speaker 3: No, it's lightly scented, lightly scented. It's not like a
Speaker 3: gross scent where it's not fruit or something. It's just
Speaker 3: kind of lightly perfumed. Is that on purpose?
Speaker 2: I asked the garbage bag company get in touch.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm pulling this out, pulling Oh now there's another bag.
Speaker 3: Oh I love this bag too. It's a blue bag
Speaker 3: that says youth dynamic.
Speaker 2: You can keep that bag.
Speaker 3: I'm through it. Where did this come from?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Incredible youth dynamics.
Speaker 2: This is my new bags, cobwebs on it. Thank you
Speaker 2: for not mentioning that.
Speaker 3: Okay, whoa, Oh my god? What weight? I mean? I'm
Speaker 3: beyond baffled at what I'm looking at. Okay, so it's
Speaker 3: like to describe what I'm looking at. It's a wood.
Speaker 3: It's a piece of wood with a spider currently crawling
Speaker 3: on it. Now, let's just take a look at that spider.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna try to get it.
Speaker 2: Does it does?
Speaker 3: So, there is a spider. I don't even know what
Speaker 3: to do with it. Should I release it to the garden.
Speaker 3: I'll blow it away so it doesn't die. It'll find
Speaker 3: its way somewhere. Welcome to the backyard. Okay. So it's
Speaker 3: a piece of wood with a piece of styrofoam tape
Speaker 3: to it, and then it it seems to be some
Speaker 3: sort of state fair project. Yes, okay, and then okay,
Speaker 3: this is okay, So this piece has fallen off. This
Speaker 3: is Maria thay or Billings, Montana, out of state. Oh
Speaker 3: and there's also a it appears there's this is your
Speaker 3: boarding past?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Is that today's boarding past?
Speaker 2: So that's from another fight, but you can have that.
Speaker 3: Where were you headed this time? I've still saw like
Speaker 3: the city somewhere. Okay, So we'll keep this. I'll try
Speaker 3: to kind of farm some information from this and take
Speaker 3: advantage of your life. Okay. So again it says Maria
Speaker 3: fay Billings, Montana, out of state, class twenty one, out
Speaker 3: of state resident. Okay, so you flew in from LA
Speaker 3: to try to win a prize at the state fair?
Speaker 3: Is that what I'm seeing?
Speaker 4: So yes, I there, this is the At the Minnesota
Speaker 4: State Fair. There is something called crop art, and I
Speaker 4: frequently compete.
Speaker 2: And this is my last year's entry.
Speaker 3: Okay. Now tell me about this piece of art, because
Speaker 3: there's this another thing.
Speaker 4: Do you think that that this is the this is
Speaker 4: the art? Do you think this is the art. Yes, No,
Speaker 4: you have to open this more.
Speaker 5: Oh oh my god, Oh my god, I'm going to
Speaker 5: take a picture of what I thought was.
Speaker 2: The art than me thinking.
Speaker 3: I assume this is how oh my god, it felt
Speaker 3: very outsider art. We'll just say that it felt to
Speaker 3: say there.
Speaker 2: Is this Alma guard.
Speaker 4: I thought, first of all, you're so generous, like this
Speaker 4: is hideous.
Speaker 2: And if you you.
Speaker 4: That, you were immediately like get out of my backyard.
Speaker 2: Just shows that you are a wonderful person.
Speaker 3: Like really truly, I was trying to make sense of.
Speaker 2: This human being in a wonderful host.
Speaker 5: No, that's not that art folk artist, you know. Okay,
Speaker 5: So I need to open this, Yes you do? Okay,
Speaker 5: So I mean right now, it's like a piece of
Speaker 5: syrophone with a piece of I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you this before before?
Speaker 1: Are you o? Bit?
Speaker 4: So I try to do this every year. I don't
Speaker 4: do it every year because I love the Minnesota State Fair.
Speaker 4: I used to live in Minnesota.
Speaker 3: Okay, oh okay, And now let me just clarify because
Speaker 3: I kept thinking you're saying Minnesota. You're from Billings, Montana.
Speaker 3: Clarify this.
Speaker 2: So it's very hard for me to like, do any
Speaker 2: you know, finish a project. My best friend.
Speaker 4: Is loves the subject of this, of this thing, and
Speaker 4: so I was like, I'm going to make you a
Speaker 4: thing of your of.
Speaker 2: Your fair person.
Speaker 3: Oh sure, sure.
Speaker 2: So I send her.
Speaker 4: Pictures and she was always like, you know, and I
Speaker 4: could tell you she just wasn't like into it right
Speaker 4: and it's not really her style.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Her house is like animal print and like and this
Speaker 2: is like, this is the thing. So when I was
Speaker 2: thinking about this podcast, I was like, what, what what
Speaker 2: can I.
Speaker 4: Bring that will be So I was like, maybe i'll
Speaker 4: you know, she hasn't she has it's but a year
Speaker 4: and she hasn't mentioned it.
Speaker 2: So I texted her yesterday I said, Hey, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: can I bring this this podcast? Never heard from her?
Speaker 3: What is that even supposed to me?
Speaker 4: I think it just means that she doesn't want it,
Speaker 4: and she doesn't want to say I don't want it.
Speaker 3: Well, this person needs to start speaking up for herself anyway.
Speaker 2: Anyway, open it.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're gonna open it up. Okay, and let's say
Speaker 3: you did win fourth prize.
Speaker 2: I did it in my category.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm peeling the tape off here, and does this
Speaker 3: other thing taped to it have anything to do or
Speaker 3: is it just the medium? This was?
Speaker 4: In order to compete, you had to tell what seed
Speaker 4: you used.
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, that's incredible. So you're using all kinds of
Speaker 3: celery seed, flax seed, something called al car.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's a yes.
Speaker 4: I had to go to a seed like emporium Wow
Speaker 4: in Montana to get that.
Speaker 3: Roughly like nine different things.
Speaker 4: You don't use, you used, you can use illegal seeds,
Speaker 4: and then you get docked.
Speaker 3: Oh have done interesting? You're allowed to but acknowledge technology.
Speaker 2: Cheatah.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's a good idea for any competition. Feel free
Speaker 3: to cheat, but you will lose. Okay, let's let's see
Speaker 3: if this is trying to be careful here. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: it says murder. It's Angela Lansberry made it entirely out
Speaker 3: of seeds, and it says murder seed rote how your
Speaker 3: friend has horrible taste.
Speaker 5: Your friend's a loser. Make sure I'm going to fight
Speaker 5: fight with her. I'm attacking her. She's low character, low taste,
Speaker 5: and low character.
Speaker 3: This is beautiful. This one fourth prize?
Speaker 2: Yeah, out of five?
Speaker 3: What one? Number one?
Speaker 2: Somewhere some piece of trash. I don't remember. This is
Speaker 2: not very I don't think that this is very good. Actually,
Speaker 2: are you talking better than this? This is she looks
Speaker 2: a little I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think that this is gorgeous. She's holding a magnifying glass.
Speaker 3: She's out to find out who killed, and you've got
Speaker 3: her hair perfect. It looks I mean, I wouldn't even
Speaker 3: need the murder Seed wrote to know that that was
Speaker 3: Angela Lansback.
Speaker 2: I just thought it was hilarious joke.
Speaker 3: It's a great joke.
Speaker 2: I co would think instead of she I turned into seed.
Speaker 3: You know, really, how long did this takes a make.
Speaker 4: I don't know, not too long, maybe ten fifteen hours,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Okay, over the course of several weeks. Yeah, and okay, So,
Speaker 3: how like, I'm so curious how this sort of thing
Speaker 3: even comes together? Do you draw her? Do you like
Speaker 3: print out a picture and just cover it with seeds?
Speaker 3: How does this hand?
Speaker 4: I think I printed out a picture and then I
Speaker 4: painted it, and then I covered it with seeds.
Speaker 2: And there's different ways. There's there's a lady what's her name,
Speaker 2: Lillian Colton. She's the seed Queen of Minnesota. Okay, she's dead.
Speaker 3: Okay, Lillian consider think about it.
Speaker 2: But anyway, she her portraits. She does beautiful portraits with seeds. Okay,
Speaker 2: so she has a way of doing it where that's
Speaker 2: what I was gonna say.
Speaker 4: That technique is that you put a bunch of Elmer's
Speaker 4: glue and you use a toothpick and you just go
Speaker 4: from Elmer's glue, pick up a seed and then put
Speaker 4: it on by one.
Speaker 2: One by one. But I don't do that. That's why
Speaker 2: I only get fourth place. I just dumped the seeds
Speaker 2: on with some glue. I mean these I did, but
Speaker 2: like a lot of these. I just like this. Dump
Speaker 2: dump dump dump.
Speaker 3: You know, there are certain areas where it's just such
Speaker 3: a giant space that doesn't need a lot of details.
Speaker 2: Lily and probably wouldn't would would not dumb.
Speaker 3: She'd be serious with this, Yes she would be.
Speaker 4: But when you're competing out of state, there's not many
Speaker 4: weirdos that send in their seed art.
Speaker 3: So you do mail this to them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mail it.
Speaker 3: You have to don't go, I go.
Speaker 2: They have to get it before the fair starts. So
Speaker 2: you mail it to them with also postage to get
Speaker 2: it back.
Speaker 3: Okay, self address stamped envelope.
Speaker 2: Yes, stam do envelope.
Speaker 4: And then so I went to the fair this time
Speaker 4: to see it in person, okay, and to like stand
Speaker 4: next to it and tell people this is mine, right,
Speaker 4: And then.
Speaker 3: There's your moment. Yes you needed the spotlight at the
Speaker 3: Minnesota sat.
Speaker 2: It's sad, but it's it's incredible, so true and uh yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's that's what happened.
Speaker 3: So how did the fair? How did you become aware
Speaker 3: of the fair? What was the first time you read?
Speaker 4: I was also grew up in Minnesota, Okay, so I
Speaker 4: would go to the state fair and then I just,
Speaker 4: I don't know, I just started loving the crop art.
Speaker 4: I tried to buy one of Lilian's pictures of Tom
Speaker 4: Selleck one. Oh oh it's so good, but she refused
Speaker 4: to sell.
Speaker 3: Wow, and she really has some standards, she really does.
Speaker 3: She's doing it clearly for the seed.
Speaker 2: Yes, there's a book called The Seed Queen about her.
Speaker 3: Oh, you look very confused. You're not sure if it
Speaker 3: just sounded dirty queen? Sure that it was seeking? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean it's not the perfect title. A Crop Queen
Speaker 3: could have done just as well, truly, but truly thing.
Speaker 4: Yes, So I didn't do one this year, but I've
Speaker 4: done one the last couple of years. I did a
Speaker 4: Colombo one for my brother.
Speaker 3: Oh fantastic. Do you only do murder mystery?
Speaker 2: No, I just recently.
Speaker 4: I'll just do for people I love, even if they
Speaker 4: don't want it, I will make something for them because
Speaker 4: then I will finish it.
Speaker 3: What a lovely gift. Did your brother appreciate it? He did?
Speaker 3: He framed his Okay, So again, when we talk about
Speaker 3: your friend, I would just think about her where she
Speaker 3: stands in your life. She's no friend of mine.
Speaker 2: My brother's more aesthetically like me.
Speaker 3: Okay, and your friend, I.
Speaker 2: Don't even know what you're asthetic is?
Speaker 3: This might this is perfect, this is my this is
Speaker 3: going in the I said no gifts gallery. What was
Speaker 3: the first one you ever did?
Speaker 2: What did I do? I did Eisenhower? Wow? No, I
Speaker 2: did a walter Mondale. I think I did a walter
Speaker 2: Mondale because Minnesota. I want to win right now. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're only wait per place in my life that I'm competitive.
Speaker 3: Actually, tell you the truth, it's a healthy place to
Speaker 3: be competitive. I think I've.
Speaker 2: Never gotten the blue. But I often they want you
Speaker 2: to do something.
Speaker 4: It's like a kitchy, very liberal section of the popcast.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, okay, so if you.
Speaker 4: Want to do if like you know a Minnesota politician,
Speaker 4: I did, Al Franken, Okay, sure, that was my best one.
Speaker 2: That was This is pre right.
Speaker 3: I was gonna ask what point in history was al?
Speaker 2: You know, Al didn't want his either.
Speaker 3: Oh. Interesting, Well, I mean that was an early red flag.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna say, you know whatever, Al, But.
Speaker 2: But that album was the best one I did.
Speaker 3: It was the best one. Yeah. What prize did you win?
Speaker 2: Third? Third?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That one? I had illegal seeds?
Speaker 3: Oh what was the illegal seed rice? What other illegal
Speaker 3: seeds are they?
Speaker 2: I guess any seed that doesn't grow in Minnesota is illegal.
Speaker 3: Okay, and but this one that we're currently looking looking
Speaker 3: at is all legal, I think.
Speaker 5: So.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I did not use any poppy seeds. That's also
Speaker 2: a minus.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: What have been some of the big winners of the
Speaker 3: past years. Do you can you remember any.
Speaker 2: There was a beautiful Lincoln Boring, very boring. They have
Speaker 2: prizes for everything.
Speaker 4: It's it's there's like you can cover a shoe and
Speaker 4: that's like with seeds, and that's like in a different category.
Speaker 2: Okay, there's best scarecrows.
Speaker 3: Scarecrow is made of seed.
Speaker 2: No, this is, but it's in the same building. It's
Speaker 2: the cop art building. You really should go.
Speaker 3: All of your listeners incredible, but let's all go. Somebody
Speaker 3: should be making I mean, pause the podcast and begin
Speaker 3: making one of me. Right now. We'll hold a bridge
Speaker 3: fair and we'll judge all of the different seed versions
Speaker 3: of me.
Speaker 2: You amazing.
Speaker 3: If I don't see one within the next six months,
Speaker 3: I'm canceling the podcast. I will blame every listener, and
Speaker 3: then I'll blame you the chain of blame. Well, this
Speaker 3: is such a beautiful hobby. And do you think you'll
Speaker 3: do one this coming year?
Speaker 2: No, I don't.
Speaker 4: I would have to really throw it together because I
Speaker 4: think they're due in two weeks or something. Oh okay,
Speaker 4: for this current year, I could, yes, but I don't
Speaker 4: have an idea.
Speaker 2: No ideas well.
Speaker 3: Twenty twenty five, yes, sort thinking now all for sure?
Speaker 2: Do one for twenty twenty five?
Speaker 3: Who were some famous people from Minnesota but fun.
Speaker 2: Who were fine?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: God, I'm only thinking Garrison Keeler Garrison.
Speaker 3: That's been done right.
Speaker 2: Also, I think that he got in trouble.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's right. All of these kind of interesting as
Speaker 3: men over sixty. You know, they've all got something going on.
Speaker 4: You know what I want to do it? Also as
Speaker 4: a friend of as a friend of mine is Anne Kim.
Speaker 4: She's a chef from Minnesota. She was on I don't
Speaker 4: know if you ever go look at chef's table or
Speaker 4: watch it.
Speaker 3: I've been looking at TV so in the night, looking
Speaker 3: at television. Oh so does she have a restaurant in Minnesota?
Speaker 4: Yeah, she has a few, and she she's a pizza
Speaker 4: one but she's a James Beard Award where Anyway, I thought, oh,
Speaker 4: I'll just make one for Anne, But I don't know
Speaker 4: if Anne would like one.
Speaker 3: Either, I know. And then you start getting into some
Speaker 3: territory where like is it going to affect the relationship?
Speaker 4: Yes, like maybe my friend they start to feel weird
Speaker 4: about each other. Y.
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't feel weird, but I hope.
Speaker 3: That you you feel weird. You definitely feel weird. Your
Speaker 3: friend has crossed a boundary in a way that's going
Speaker 3: to ruin this friendship. I guarantee it. And Kim okay,
Speaker 3: but yeah, Jessicat when you get into personal it gets
Speaker 3: a little tricky, Yes, And I can't think of a
Speaker 3: single person from Minnesota.
Speaker 4: Oh, Coen Brothers, Judy Garland, Garland, Paul Westerberg, all of
Speaker 4: who's whoskerd.
Speaker 3: That's a great one'd be thrilled.
Speaker 2: Frank Sinatra, No.
Speaker 3: Frank Sat from Minnesota's gonna say, what what a fraud?
Speaker 3: That would be thinking? What how did I fall for that?
Speaker 2: Joe Phi, Robert DeNiro mean.
Speaker 3: The Queen of England. Well, I'm going to start brainstorming
Speaker 3: people for you to make out of seed. I'll send
Speaker 3: you a list of people.
Speaker 2: Love that, because love that I need ideas.
Speaker 3: We've got to get somebody to get you. Is this
Speaker 3: the like the typical size? It's like basically.
Speaker 2: No, you could. You can as big as as small
Speaker 2: as you.
Speaker 3: But as far as you as like, have you made
Speaker 3: a bigger one.
Speaker 2: Than bigger than that? I think that's a smlest one
Speaker 2: I've made. Oh interesting, Yeah, that's the most petite.
Speaker 3: What's the largest?
Speaker 2: I don't know what our size is?
Speaker 3: I guess agree that's I ask myself that all the time.
Speaker 3: No spatial reasoning skills whatsoever.
Speaker 2: No, So somewhere between three feet and ten feet.
Speaker 3: High, fifty miles okay, so but you've made like a large.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, the Al Franklin was pretty large.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, what a shame?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what a shame.
Speaker 3: Where do we stand with Al Frankin at this point?
Speaker 2: Well, you know, people love him again.
Speaker 4: And I I but he but people are like, oh,
Speaker 4: he just made a joke about somebody's you know he
Speaker 4: did that that picture right. It wasn't just that I
Speaker 4: tried to kiss someone in a podcast. Like if I had,
Speaker 4: like tried to kiss you, can you imagine how much.
Speaker 3: How much anything goes? And I said, no, guess Maria's
Speaker 3: coming towards me, like I'm backing away.
Speaker 2: It was it was a radio show, but somebody was
Speaker 2: interviewing you my face? What and he tried to kiss her?
Speaker 3: What? What is going on in a brain about it? Like?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 3: God? Like I get what sort of brain is that
Speaker 3: that thinks this is okay, this is the time I
Speaker 3: do this.
Speaker 2: I actually also now I remember it.
Speaker 4: I had a I have a friend that used to
Speaker 4: work in the Senate and I was visiting my friend
Speaker 4: Jeremiah in DC and all these all these senators were
Speaker 4: coming out and it was sort of exciting, and they
Speaker 4: were all getting into their fancy black cars, and I
Speaker 4: was like, wow, this is fucked up, like.
Speaker 2: Our country is backed up. All these guys are.
Speaker 4: Millionaires, but I appreciated. He came out and his wife
Speaker 4: picked him up. Okay, but he was waiting there.
Speaker 2: And at that time I was waiting for my friend
Speaker 2: and I saw him. I was very excited. There was
Speaker 2: also a gentleman there screaming about abortion.
Speaker 5: Oh interest and like a crazy person, I'm sure as.
Speaker 2: El Franken sort of toddled over to me and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I'm and I he said hello.
Speaker 4: I was just a little weird in itself, but maybe
Speaker 4: you know, and I said I'm sorry. He was like
Speaker 4: he pointed to the guy and I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: sorry about my dad.
Speaker 2: Oh, and he did it.
Speaker 4: Well, see you don't think it's funny either. He didn't
Speaker 4: think it's funny either, and he was like ah, and
Speaker 4: then he wandered away from me again.
Speaker 3: Al did al did y? What a bizarre interaction. What.
Speaker 2: I tried to make a joke and Al was freaked out.
Speaker 3: Oh you said sorry about my dad? Ye oh, okay,
Speaker 3: now see now this is funny. I was like, what
Speaker 3: is Al Franklin talking? Saying that to you. It was like,
Speaker 3: this makes zero sense.
Speaker 4: So it's obviously not a good jokes, and you broke
Speaker 4: it to me and Al agreed with you.
Speaker 3: No, no, no no. I was thinking, why was like,
Speaker 3: I got get.
Speaker 2: Away from this crazy late.
Speaker 4: There's two great there's someone yelling at about abortion and
Speaker 4: then a lady.
Speaker 3: Tried a perfect joke.
Speaker 2: A perfect joke anyway.
Speaker 3: That makes sense. But for Al Franken to be saying
Speaker 3: that to you is like the hoops. I was jumping
Speaker 3: through my brain to make that.
Speaker 2: I didn't tell that story very well, but I will
Speaker 2: say something. I do like that he got into like
Speaker 2: uh you know CRV right. I mean, he truly was
Speaker 2: the only person.
Speaker 3: His wife is like not aware that he's trying to
Speaker 3: kiss people on podcasts. She's like, here, honey, I'm here
Speaker 3: to pick you up to take you to a podcast
Speaker 3: appearance where you're going to kiss somebody. I don't like it.
Speaker 3: I don't like it, and he doesn't laugh at your Actually.
Speaker 2: I'll ask, I'll ask permission, and then I will do it.
Speaker 3: I need every guest on this podcast from now on.
Speaker 3: This is what happens.
Speaker 2: Please still gives and kissing gives our tongue.
Speaker 3: I said, no gifts and please ask before you kiss me.
Speaker 3: That's a nice title for a podcast, Yes, it is,
Speaker 3: and then we hear people kissing me all the time.
Speaker 3: It's very erotic podcast. Wow, what an interaction you had
Speaker 3: with him? And what does he do for a living now?
Speaker 3: Is he's still writing books? I don't know.
Speaker 4: Actually he's you know, retire, Yeah, he's probably go just
Speaker 4: he probably gives speeches.
Speaker 2: Oh right, right, I mean I don't know. That's a
Speaker 2: cool gas.
Speaker 3: Right, And it doesn't seem like he's one of these
Speaker 3: people who like got canceled and then became a far
Speaker 3: right person just because right. So oh, I can't really
Speaker 3: speak to him at this point other than what we
Speaker 3: know and the fact that he's had a seed portrait. Yes,
Speaker 3: probably not the first and but probably the last.
Speaker 2: Of seed portraits.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's probably gonna get Well, it's.
Speaker 4: So available to my mom's garage. I think rats have
Speaker 4: eaten most of it, but.
Speaker 3: It is perfect arn't for rats. Now, I'm afraid to
Speaker 3: have this.
Speaker 2: In my home. That's why that spider was enjoying it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna spray it with rat poison. I'm terrified. I'm
Speaker 3: absolutely mortified that this is going to be attracting rodents
Speaker 3: any day.
Speaker 2: It's just a a buffet.
Speaker 3: Rat's probably find the sort of eating tacky, you know.
Speaker 3: It's like the sort of thing where you like, go
Speaker 3: to a restaurant it's a cake that looks like a
Speaker 3: shape and you're like, well that's a bad cake. That's
Speaker 3: just like a pile of seeds.
Speaker 2: Fond fond.
Speaker 3: I feel like as a society we're kind of moving
Speaker 3: beyond that, right, I think fondant.
Speaker 2: Fond whatever it is, Yeah, it's not. It doesn't look appetizing.
Speaker 3: We're all on to it where it's just like that's
Speaker 3: sweet plastic. Yes, great job that you made the like
Speaker 3: a thing that looks like a Ferrari cake or whatever.
Speaker 3: But I don't want anything to do with it. Just
Speaker 3: make a nice round cake, yes, or a sheet cake cakes.
Speaker 2: Don't get me started on shee cakes. I mean don't
Speaker 2: because it's boring.
Speaker 3: Well, I think I'm going to try to get into
Speaker 3: seed art. Is it difficult?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: This one?
Speaker 2: Fourth place?
Speaker 3: Are you an artist outside of this?
Speaker 4: I sometimes paint sometimes, Oh that's lovely, but you know
Speaker 4: I am an actor.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've heard, but did.
Speaker 3: You go to art school?
Speaker 4: No, no, I went to I actually don't think that
Speaker 4: acting is an art.
Speaker 3: It's like a it's absolutely an art. When everyone else does,
Speaker 3: it's pornography trash. I went.
Speaker 4: I went to acting school, which is like which is
Speaker 4: like refrigerator repair school.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's just like you don't learn anything, but you do.
Speaker 3: I don't think so you've made a career out of it.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 3: And people cherish you, do.
Speaker 2: They thank you?
Speaker 3: I mean I cherish you.
Speaker 2: I cherish you too.
Speaker 3: A whole generation of people in comedy cherish you. I
Speaker 3: think that's true. So acting school, for one, if nothing else,
Speaker 3: thank god, you want to acting school to.
Speaker 2: Be cherished, to be cherished, I mean I didn't feel
Speaker 2: that way. You don't feel cherished. Acting school?
Speaker 3: Oh oh, in acting school was a horrible It was
Speaker 3: just you know, it was.
Speaker 7: It was it was they had cuts, you know, people
Speaker 7: were it was just I don't know if they do
Speaker 7: that still, but they're like, let's break you down right
Speaker 7: to build.
Speaker 3: You up, totally destroy you.
Speaker 2: Acting automatron. I don't know if acting robot.
Speaker 4: I don't know what an automatron is rot, but like yeah,
Speaker 4: but then you get out.
Speaker 2: And you're like, oh, people, people just want you to
Speaker 2: be a character ture version of yourself. That's like what
Speaker 2: you got to get your thing right? I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's mostly what's happening on television. People are just showing
Speaker 3: up and speaking a little bit louder and faster than
Speaker 3: they usually dom hm hm. But I feel like you
Speaker 3: must have what school did you go to?
Speaker 2: Juilliard School?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I know. Okay, well look.
Speaker 2: At that, look at that at me, the Juilliard School.
Speaker 3: That's credible.
Speaker 2: It's incredible.
Speaker 3: That is I mean, you must have been thrown out
Speaker 3: of your mind when you were accepted.
Speaker 4: I was because they didn't care about grades and I
Speaker 4: had very bad grades.
Speaker 3: Oh perfect, You had no choice but to.
Speaker 4: Go the way that anyone would be impressed by me.
Speaker 4: Like if I had gone in and great, like they
Speaker 4: didn't care.
Speaker 2: You could I think you had to write an essay.
Speaker 2: But I know someone who got in who their essay
Speaker 2: was just a drawing.
Speaker 3: So you could have done Sea Dart.
Speaker 2: Oh they would have loved it. No, but it was.
Speaker 2: It does have like a name for itself. But it's
Speaker 2: it's not all that. It really isn't.
Speaker 3: They're going to rescind your degree.
Speaker 4: They you know what they I this is nice of them.
Speaker 2: But I I stopped.
Speaker 4: I ran out of money halfway through Juilliard and they
Speaker 4: still let me continue.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 2: But they never gave me my diplomas. I owe them money.
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, I think they.
Speaker 2: Never they but you know what, they never asked for
Speaker 2: it either. I can ask for money.
Speaker 3: It's an interesting bargain to strike.
Speaker 2: I know, it's weird. They have a lot of money.
Speaker 2: I think now you can go for free.
Speaker 3: Oh, everybody, email Juilliard at Juilliard dot com. I'm sure,
Speaker 3: send them a drawing and you're in free ride. Did
Speaker 3: you ever act on the stage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I thought I was gonna do, always
Speaker 4: playing Juliet forever and like I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna I had I really was not ambitious. I wanted
Speaker 4: to be like in the course of a Broadway musical.
Speaker 4: That was my big It was just like, that is
Speaker 4: the life for me. But I've never done that.
Speaker 3: So you've never been in a Broadway show.
Speaker 4: I consider that I've done that because I did do
Speaker 4: Shakes from the Park.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, and that is like a version of.
Speaker 3: Broadway right right.
Speaker 2: But maybe I'll still. I mean, I'm not dead yet.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you've got plenty of time, so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe, yes, I did. I did theater in New
Speaker 2: York for a long time and then.
Speaker 3: Have no idea.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Really terrible stuff, really terrible things, horrible. Play.
Speaker 3: Well, I think we should play a game.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I love games so much, I really do.
Speaker 3: Oh incredible. I love to hear that we're gonna play
Speaker 3: a game called Gift or a Curse. But before we
Speaker 3: do that, I need a number between one and ten
Speaker 3: from you.
Speaker 2: Is this gonna be about opinions?
Speaker 3: It's about facts?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: Oh great, Okay, okay, I tell you about it.
Speaker 2: Sorry, you know what, it's none of my business.
Speaker 3: None of your business. Okay, all right, your nose.
Speaker 2: Between ten and twelve, one and twelve.
Speaker 3: Let's do ten and twelve today.
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess eleven.
Speaker 3: Okay, with the number eleven, I have to do some
Speaker 3: light calculating to get our game pieces. So you have
Speaker 3: the mic right now. You can recommend something, promote something,
Speaker 3: do whatever you want. I'll be right.
Speaker 2: No, I have to talk. Oh god, what No? I
Speaker 2: feel so alone right now.
Speaker 4: I don't know what do I recommend? I guess if
Speaker 4: you like cooking. I recom mend the New York Times
Speaker 4: cooking recipes. They have some really good recipes, and every
Speaker 4: time I make one there, I'm boring myself.
Speaker 2: See this is I can't I can't do this. Does
Speaker 2: every please come back to me?
Speaker 3: This is kind of the Juilliard of this podcast, where
Speaker 3: we just absolutely break you down and you have to
Speaker 3: learn to stand on your own. I just I need
Speaker 3: someone to New York Times recipes. They have some They
Speaker 3: have some recipes that are always haunting me. But then
Speaker 3: I click it and it says sign up, and I
Speaker 3: say no, thank you.
Speaker 2: Oh you can have my password. I'll give you my password.
Speaker 2: That's my other gift. And you know what, And I'll
Speaker 2: give you password.
Speaker 3: Using that password and your boring pass, I will become
Speaker 3: Maria Thayer. Watch out Maria that. If you can hear
Speaker 3: the police in the background, they're onto us, onto me.
Speaker 3: Excellent recommendation. What am I going to do? You know
Speaker 3: what I'm going to recommend is the album Green River
Speaker 3: by c CR Credence Cleairwater Revival. Have you heard this album?
Speaker 2: What sing me a song from it?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: I can't sing? Do you know the song? I mean?
Speaker 3: Bad Moon Rising? But bad Moon. Incredible song.
Speaker 2: Low Die, Low Die wrote.
Speaker 3: A song for everyone.
Speaker 2: No, what is it? I don't know. That's time.
Speaker 3: I will not sing a note on this podcast. That'll
Speaker 3: be career ending. Excellent album. I hadn't listened to it
Speaker 3: in years, front to back, incredible, incredible album on at
Speaker 3: least Do you have anything to recommend?
Speaker 2: How dare you make me speak? I know Affle, you
Speaker 2: know what.
Speaker 6: I'm going to recommend that everybody go see Twisters because
Speaker 6: Bridger hated it, so I no, I.
Speaker 3: Did not hate. I thought it was one of the
Speaker 3: dumbest movies I've ever seen, but very fun. Okay, very fun.
Speaker 2: All right, maybe you're not on my shit list.
Speaker 3: Okay, Twisters doesn't make any promise other than being a
Speaker 3: dumb movie about that, and it was very fun.
Speaker 2: It was very fun.
Speaker 6: We need more movies like that to come out in
Speaker 6: the summertime.
Speaker 3: And ultimately it needs the press. It really is. I'm
Speaker 3: sure it's hurting for.
Speaker 2: Mommy, it's so hurting.
Speaker 3: Okay, we've all made recommendations all over the map. It's
Speaker 3: time to play gift or a curse. I'm gonna name
Speaker 3: three things. Yes, you're gonna tell me if there're a
Speaker 3: gift or a curse? And why okay, then I will
Speaker 3: tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are
Speaker 3: correct answers and you can fail. You can get a
Speaker 3: pink ribbon, but you're shooting for a blue ribbon.
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Is that the highest?
Speaker 2: Are you saying that this is a failure? That's what
Speaker 2: you seem like.
Speaker 3: I agree, I know I'm saying that it's just not
Speaker 3: the blue ribbon. This is the pink ribbon, which is
Speaker 3: a gorgeous shade. But we all know the blue ribbon
Speaker 3: is what Wilbur wanted to win in Charlotte's Web, and
Speaker 3: I can't remember how that turned out. For Okay, the
Speaker 3: number one the first thing we're going to be talking
Speaker 3: about today. This is from a listener named Eden. Gift
Speaker 3: or a curse when someone leaves their phone on do
Speaker 3: not disturb one hundred percent of the time.
Speaker 2: Gift?
Speaker 4: Why, Well, it's a boundary and people telling you their
Speaker 4: boundaries is a gift. I love it, and uh yeah,
Speaker 4: I do it. So it's a gift, so very into.
Speaker 3: It knocked it out of the park. You're you're talking
Speaker 3: to the right person with this. I don't think that
Speaker 3: it should even be an option on a phone. I
Speaker 3: think the phone should just that should be the standard
Speaker 3: for the phone where it's never bothering you.
Speaker 2: Ever, that's wonderful, and.
Speaker 3: You know you just go and check in with it, yeah,
Speaker 3: rather than it bothering you. I will frequently leave mine
Speaker 3: non do not disturb for days at a time, which
Speaker 3: gets frustrating for other people in your life. But big deal.
Speaker 2: But the thing is it doesn't mean anything because it does.
Speaker 2: Like it you do you get back to it? Yes,
Speaker 2: you get back to it, right.
Speaker 3: I mean I think when people try to call in
Speaker 3: a sense straight to voicemail, they freak out.
Speaker 2: Sometimes are people calling you one calls?
Speaker 3: My phone is ringing off the hook? You know? No,
Speaker 3: I get about three, I would say, two to three
Speaker 3: phone calls a day. Does that feel?
Speaker 2: That feels very popular to me?
Speaker 3: Actually, that's that? Can't possibly are some of these people?
Speaker 4: I mean, if you count spam calls, I get, you know,
Speaker 4: two to three, but I don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I don't get that many phone calls.
Speaker 3: I place phone calls, I think, but it's only family
Speaker 3: members essentially, or very occasionally a friend I'll.
Speaker 2: Call, Yes, yes, me too, But I would.
Speaker 3: Much rather just have an undo not service. Then we're
Speaker 3: on my terms.
Speaker 2: What do you think about a FaceTime? An unplanned FaceTime?
Speaker 3: See this is I mean, we just talked about this
Speaker 3: on the podcast because no we're talking. We talked about
Speaker 3: something adjacent because somebody wrote in asking is it inappropriate
Speaker 3: to just call without texting? And I said, go for it. Yes.
Speaker 2: People sometimes get upset about that, but I think that's great.
Speaker 3: That's fine because you know that's but facetiming there's an expectator.
Speaker 3: You're going to be seeing the person, and you want
Speaker 3: to be mildly prepared to have your face blown up
Speaker 3: on someone's phone. Yes, and that feels weird. I need
Speaker 3: a text? Hey, would you mind? Do you want to FaceTime? Yes? Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's not can I FaceTime? It's not uh I need
Speaker 3: to FaceTime you? It's do you want to FaceTime?
Speaker 2: What if it's your brother or your mom?
Speaker 3: Absolutely not. I need them to in advance say okay,
Speaker 3: what about you.
Speaker 4: I I just won't answer if they FaceTime me and
Speaker 4: I don't want to, but I will my brother. I
Speaker 4: will FaceTime and I know he doesn't like it, so
Speaker 4: I still do it.
Speaker 3: I don't mind FaceTime.
Speaker 2: I say, can I FaceTime?
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 2: Now he won't.
Speaker 3: Oh so you have to sneak it in.
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, he won't answer me, or he he or
Speaker 4: he'll say he probably would say no.
Speaker 2: I just say, like, I feel like he needs to.
Speaker 3: Be pushed a little bit. Okay, right right.
Speaker 2: I just said I like boundaries, and then I just immediately.
Speaker 3: Said it wor yes, no. I. I guess there's probably
Speaker 3: one my sister, if she facetimes me, I would probably
Speaker 3: if I feel like it's an appropriate time, would I
Speaker 3: answer yes. Most of the time, I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 3: they made a mistake. I'll hang up and they'll call me.
Speaker 3: And then if they FaceTime again, I think, oh, this
Speaker 3: person's a psycho. I'm blocking them.
Speaker 2: It only takes two two times.
Speaker 3: Very short fuse. Okay, so you've gotten one right so far,
Speaker 3: which is incredible. Number two This is from a listener
Speaker 3: named Rachel Gift her a curse talking animals in commercials.
Speaker 2: Gift why because animals?
Speaker 3: That's all you're gonna say about this? More animals, Maria
Speaker 3: wrong curse?
Speaker 2: No why because.
Speaker 3: I love to see an animal in a commercial. But
Speaker 3: the moment they're talking, it's a fake animal. The magic
Speaker 3: is ruined for me. Show me beautiful pictures of dogs running,
Speaker 3: cats eating, Well, don't show me the cat eating the
Speaker 3: wet food. No one wants that. But I love to
Speaker 3: see a real animal and a commercial even doing a
Speaker 3: trick or a stunt. But when their mouth starts moving,
Speaker 3: she's like, what is what am I looking at?
Speaker 2: I think animals should be seen and not heard.
Speaker 3: Seen and not heard.
Speaker 2: That that's wrong.
Speaker 3: Problematic now that people can tell how I vote. No,
Speaker 3: I think it's about it.
Speaker 2: Boundaries me a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, boundaries crossed when the animal begins to speak, if
Speaker 3: it's barking or meowing, that's okay, although then I start
Speaker 3: to wonder, as a starved animal or are they scaring it?
Speaker 2: I do think that when kids cry and.
Speaker 3: All the weirdest what is that? Yes? Someone recently made
Speaker 3: a good point to me about AI of child actors
Speaker 3: and babies. Let that be AI.
Speaker 4: Okay, I mean, but then slippery slope, yes, and just like, well,
Speaker 4: what makes a baby?
Speaker 2: It's most actors act like baby.
Speaker 3: I love a producer being like he's forty three, he's
Speaker 3: a baby. But yeah, that that was the one time
Speaker 3: when I've been like, oh maybe hmm, maybe I can
Speaker 3: get on boards with computers taking over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't like that Geico lizard.
Speaker 3: I could take him or leave him. My niece had
Speaker 3: a crush on him for a while, which I found
Speaker 3: very cute. So she was in love with the Geico
Speaker 3: gecko that she just lets you I gave. Do you
Speaker 3: know what I think? I like wrote to Geico or something.
Speaker 3: It was like, how do I get a stuff version
Speaker 3: of what's his name? Gordon? Oh?
Speaker 2: I think his name is Gordon.
Speaker 3: I was like, can I get one? And they sent
Speaker 3: me one and it was like the best gift she
Speaker 3: possibly could have.
Speaker 2: That's all so sweet.
Speaker 3: And I should say that she's thirty two.
Speaker 2: She's a baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's a baby. No, this is she was probably
Speaker 3: three and she was obsessed. And what a great choice.
Speaker 3: He's so charming. He tries is a convertible, does work
Speaker 3: for an insurance company? Which is gets dark.
Speaker 2: Now it's it's true. You do like I had a
Speaker 2: crush on the Hefty Smurf.
Speaker 3: Oh, look he was so se his name's Hefty Smurf,
Speaker 3: Hefty Smurf. Let's see here. Of course this guy is
Speaker 3: red Hawk. Again, he's got the little tattoo. And then,
Speaker 3: of course, if we have somebody shirtless. Let's see, but
Speaker 3: aren't all of the smurf is always shirtless?
Speaker 2: I guess so is Papa Smurf somebody.
Speaker 3: I think, let's see here, Papa Smurf. Let's yeah, they're
Speaker 3: all shirtless. All of the Smurfs are pretty good looking.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say they've got that great blue We found
Speaker 3: an erotic Papa Smurf almost immediately absolutely ripped skin tight
Speaker 3: red pants marvelous. Yeah, okay, that was a good choice
Speaker 3: for you to have a crush on. It was more humanoid.
Speaker 6: I just have to let you guys know that Gordon
Speaker 6: Gecko is actually the character from Wall Street played by
Speaker 6: Michael Douglass.
Speaker 3: But did they also name the insurance cart Martin?
Speaker 2: Wait Martin?
Speaker 3: Yeah, nobody knows. Currently as recording, we are the only
Speaker 3: three people in the world.
Speaker 2: That knows that is Martin.
Speaker 3: Spread the words Martin. No, no, no, no. They had
Speaker 3: the easy joke. There, go for it. I still call
Speaker 3: him Gordon. I don't care. Cancel my insurance Geico, I
Speaker 3: don't care. But ultimately a curse. Talking animals are a
Speaker 3: curse in commercials. So you've gotten one out of two
Speaker 3: so far. Here's your big moment to get at least
Speaker 3: one more point. This is from a listener named Andy.
Speaker 3: Andy has suggested gift her a curse middle aged men
Speaker 3: using a younger generation slang words ironically.
Speaker 2: Oh god, that is awful, truly awful. I don't get it.
Speaker 2: I don't get how people dude, like are they we're
Speaker 2: our own generation. Just let us be your own generation.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I just read that you that, so I just read
Speaker 4: that younger people don't like invisible socks. They were and
Speaker 4: like then so people are now like wearing right freaking
Speaker 4: out yes, and they're like I gotta.
Speaker 3: She's like, why even disguised?
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't like, they're not for you. It's
Speaker 2: not for you. You have other things.
Speaker 3: Also, you have hindsight where you think. I do remember
Speaker 3: a point in my life when that sort of sock
Speaker 3: was popular for children, and then a few years later
Speaker 3: I thought that looks bad. And then you switch to
Speaker 3: a noosu. Yeah suck. You had your long socks, yeah, wherever,
Speaker 3: whatever you want, but don't try to be don't seventeen?
Speaker 2: No, why just why just why why do that? What
Speaker 2: do you think?
Speaker 3: Well, it's a gift. I'll tell you why.
Speaker 2: I really truly have to go.
Speaker 3: Maria's climbing on top of her motorcycle and driving away,
Speaker 3: firing her gun into the air.
Speaker 2: Oh god, what.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you exactly why. I will tell you exactly why.
Speaker 3: This is a gift. Of course it's mortifying. Of course
Speaker 3: it's humiliating. Of course it's unacceptable. But it is such
Speaker 3: a beautiful sign that the word is dead. It's the
Speaker 3: graveyard for the word once it comes out of the
Speaker 3: lips of a middle aged man trying to either ironically
Speaker 3: or purposefully use it. The word we all know. Well,
Speaker 3: the word's done. You can say goodbye to that word,
Speaker 3: shuffle it off, and the youth can start thinking of
Speaker 3: their new words again.
Speaker 2: I have a counterpoint to that, which is I think
Speaker 2: words go by too quickly.
Speaker 4: Oh interest, well, we don't get to save her words
Speaker 4: enough before the middle aged me to ruin them for like,
Speaker 4: let's just you know, I can't think of any because I.
Speaker 3: The one I'm thinking of currently. Well, first of all,
Speaker 3: I think that the Internet is to blame for that,
Speaker 3: because we all have access to all of the things immediately,
Speaker 3: so the middle aged men can hop right on board
Speaker 3: and start using the words. But you know, that's just
Speaker 3: the cycle. At this point, We've just got to keep
Speaker 3: thinking of new things. But the current one that's being
Speaker 3: all over the news is brat. Have you heard this?
Speaker 3: We're seeing every news anchor trying to figure out what
Speaker 3: bratt means. I mean, I'm sure Charlie XCX is freaking
Speaker 3: out happiness. No, I'm sure. Well, maybe it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: finally here's a little cash, but it's like, now my
Speaker 3: word has been ruined by the Channel nine news by
Speaker 3: four six year olds saying brat over and over and
Speaker 3: over again, trying to figure out what green means. But
Speaker 3: it means bratt.
Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't know. Maybe there's more too.
Speaker 3: I don't know, ask Chuck, but uh, Bratt has been
Speaker 3: kind of it has been very powerful, Yes, I mean,
Speaker 3: I mean it's really boosted the campaign, although it makes
Speaker 3: me wonder, is now Taylor Swift going to say, well,
Speaker 3: because Tamala is so on board with Charlie, can I
Speaker 3: not touch this? Because I'm jealous? And everyone's saying, what's
Speaker 3: Taylor Swift going to do? The politics of pop music
Speaker 3: are fascinating.
Speaker 2: God that question. Honestly, I'm getting sick to my stomach.
Speaker 2: I just like don't. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, well, only time will tell, Only time will tell.
Speaker 4: Just like I don't know. Yeah, I just don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't what is happening.
Speaker 3: I need you to speak to this moment, Maria.
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't. It's very person like me.
Speaker 3: You know exactly what's going on. You're very shrewd. But
Speaker 3: know who knows?
Speaker 2: Yes? No, I yes, no, yes, no. I did see
Speaker 2: that newscast A Bratt. That's how I was. I was
Speaker 2: cued into Bratt. Actually, I was like, I've even passed
Speaker 2: those people.
Speaker 3: Had you heard of Charlie XC action? But Brat was
Speaker 3: it was in your bones? Yeah? I guess it was absolutely.
Speaker 3: Had you enjoyed the songs?
Speaker 2: I mean no, I don't. I didn't know them. I
Speaker 2: now I have enjoyed them. I mean, but I still
Speaker 2: but I still I've listened to them. I enjoyed the dances.
Speaker 2: I do enjoy a.
Speaker 3: Good bread dance. But I mean I can't say. I
Speaker 3: mean the fact that I just said that is I've
Speaker 3: now killed the word.
Speaker 2: But do you know about that dance?
Speaker 3: Of course? Of course, I mean again, the dance has
Speaker 3: been the internet, sex everything. It's like a little It's
Speaker 3: truly like there's a chicken nugget on the ground and
Speaker 3: every fly in the world lands on it. At once.
Speaker 3: Things get eaten up and snapped away from us.
Speaker 6: Please let me teach it to you. I will teach you.
Speaker 6: I will, absolutely, and then that will be the effect.
Speaker 6: Then you'll have to prove that this is actually.
Speaker 3: There is no chance to me too. Absolutely absolutely, this
Speaker 3: is gonna air in a month before are gonna be
Speaker 3: looking us suing the Apple Dance in a month we prove.
Speaker 2: That it's actually a gift. There you go, the.
Speaker 3: Fact that I'm trapped on audio being absolutely blackmailed by
Speaker 3: my producer. This is disgusting. I don't even know where
Speaker 3: to go from here.
Speaker 2: No, there's nowhere to go.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm sweating, I'm nauseous. I would have rather woken
Speaker 3: up at four am. Well, you got one out of three, which.
Speaker 2: It's true I got. In my mind, I got three.
Speaker 3: Out of three, and that's all that really matters. You're
Speaker 3: you're wearing whatever type of socks you want? Yes, exactly, Okay, Well,
Speaker 3: decently played. This is the final segment of the podcast.
Speaker 3: It's called I said no emails people write into I
Speaker 3: said gifts at gmail dot com. You know, it's hard
Speaker 3: to not say they're begging for answers. Okay, they're absolutely begging.
Speaker 3: Would you help me answer a question?
Speaker 2: Of course.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's get into the doc. This says, hello, Bridger
Speaker 3: and thoughtful guest. That's very nice. I think that's very true.
Speaker 3: You've proven over and over this is I've been happily
Speaker 3: divorced since twenty nineteen. Well, that remains to be seen.
Speaker 3: Since then, I have exchanged gifts and well wishes with
Speaker 3: my former mother in law for birthdays and Christmas. This
Speaker 3: past Christmas, I sent my children to their grandparents' house
Speaker 3: with our chosen gift lo and behold, no gift was returned. Nothing.
Speaker 3: She didn't even reach out. Now, I didn't say no gifts.
Speaker 3: I have gotten them for the past several years and
Speaker 3: was utterly hurt to be frozen out. I at least
Speaker 3: expected a card, as I had been part of the
Speaker 3: family for over eighteen years. Nothing for my birthday either,
Speaker 3: not even a text. Mother in law's birthday is coming up.
Speaker 3: I'm conflicted on if I should send a card, do
Speaker 3: a gift, or ignore it altogether. I'm leaning towards just
Speaker 3: breaking free from that entire family. But what does Bridger
Speaker 3: etiquette say? Giftless in Tennessee? Serenity, and that's from Brianna
Speaker 3: or Brianna.
Speaker 2: So if I understand, she got divorced in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 2: right before the pandemic.
Speaker 4: Perfect, perfect, and then she has been giving her mother
Speaker 4: in law, former mother in law.
Speaker 2: Gifts until last year.
Speaker 4: Yes, so this has been going on for a while, Okay, right,
Speaker 4: and this is the first year that she has not.
Speaker 5: Received a gift or a thank you card, nothing at all? Okay,
Speaker 5: dead silence, got it? Absolute just darkness. I mean, I
Speaker 5: think we should just put the obvious out that the
Speaker 5: mother in law died. That feels like a clear How else,
Speaker 5: I mean, how are any of us supposed to know
Speaker 5: if this woman's alive. There were all these signs of
Speaker 5: life up until a very distinct point, and now Brianna's
Speaker 5: children might be keeping a secret from her.
Speaker 2: Ayah, they went to Grandma's load to bear.
Speaker 3: I know we all have Grandma's dead. We can't tell mom,
Speaker 3: and we have to let mom just keep sending her gifts,
Speaker 3: which is torturing the ex husband. The ex husband feels
Speaker 3: like he's been taunted by this ex wife gifts. So
Speaker 3: that's one thing that could have and most likely happened.
Speaker 3: Number Two, there's a new wife in the picture.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I didn't even think of.
Speaker 3: Daughter in law who has kind of become the Spengali
Speaker 3: of the mother and his brainwash her until the gift
Speaker 3: exchange is happening there and Brionna's vanished.
Speaker 2: Yes, but maybe that wouldn't the kids tell the.
Speaker 3: The Oh well again, maybe the kids are keeping a secret.
Speaker 2: These kids are incredible.
Speaker 3: Maybe the kids are falling in love with new step mom. Yes,
Speaker 3: and they don't. They're so conflicted.
Speaker 2: Yes, they want to be the gifts.
Speaker 3: Right, they're thinking of ditching Brionn all together.
Speaker 2: I'm sure that's not true, Brianna.
Speaker 3: But you never know, Brianna, think about that right before
Speaker 3: you go to bed. And then the third option is
Speaker 3: this mother in law is ungrateful and horrible. So what
Speaker 3: do you do with the final option when your mother
Speaker 3: and ex. Let's okay, and again, let's say, Brianna, you
Speaker 3: keep calling your mother in law. Brianna's a little delusional
Speaker 3: at this point. No longer X it's an ex mother
Speaker 3: in law. But eighteen years, eighteen years, but you're not
Speaker 3: so calling your husband, your husband, Brianna, or if you are,
Speaker 3: then we'd need to that's another email X. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: you know at some point I'm.
Speaker 2: I'm taking this very seriously.
Speaker 3: As you should. So what should she do?
Speaker 2: Well, you know, we don't have all the information.
Speaker 3: We don't.
Speaker 2: She hasn't either.
Speaker 3: She left to have so many crucial details. Drive by
Speaker 3: your house before you send the email. Check the obituaries.
Speaker 4: Oh, there's a lot of reasons why she Maybe she
Speaker 4: feels maybe the mother in law feels weird about them
Speaker 4: still being in touch. Right, she's crazy, they'll be if
Speaker 4: there's if the kids are still right, maybe there is
Speaker 4: another voice in there.
Speaker 2: Maybe the ex is dating somebody, and but as.
Speaker 4: Somebody who I have a family member that is a
Speaker 4: family member, and I always give her gifts and she
Speaker 4: never gives me gifts. And I don't even know if
Speaker 4: she even gets them. I send them because and then
Speaker 4: and then, so like last Christmas, I gave her something
Speaker 4: and then a few months ago she sent me a
Speaker 4: picture of her using.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so she is getting them.
Speaker 2: So she's getting them, but she's not thinking me or anything.
Speaker 2: But do you know what, sure it just if you
Speaker 2: want to give a gift.
Speaker 3: That's why it's a gift. Yes, you can't expect anything. No,
Speaker 3: it's not an exhame.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, And if you want to give I think
Speaker 4: it's lovely if she wants to keep her children's grandmother
Speaker 4: in her life, right and if that include its gift giving.
Speaker 4: But if it's healthier for her to like she's never
Speaker 4: to not to not have that relationship with her ex
Speaker 4: mother in law.
Speaker 2: I mean, she's gonna have a relationship with her because
Speaker 2: she she's.
Speaker 3: There, no matter right, at some point they're going to
Speaker 3: cross paths.
Speaker 2: That's that's I took it seriously.
Speaker 3: And what do you think I think? I mean, I
Speaker 3: think that's very healthy. I do think that there's a
Speaker 3: chance that the mother in law has do not disturb
Speaker 3: on her phone.
Speaker 2: Which you always already said yes, yes.
Speaker 3: So maybe Brionna needs to also turn it on on
Speaker 3: her phone and then continue sending gifts be you know,
Speaker 3: you just it's nice to have the edge as a
Speaker 3: better person, continue to show off how good of a
Speaker 3: person you are. And this mother in law.
Speaker 2: That was the underlying thing of what I was saying.
Speaker 2: Actually that's what actually was.
Speaker 4: I pretended like it was just like be a good person.
Speaker 4: But it's like, be a good person, so I will.
Speaker 3: Yes, So the new lady in the husband's life knows
Speaker 3: how great you are, how everybody just looks at you
Speaker 3: as this kind of eternal sunshine.
Speaker 2: Yes, you were unfazed. You also have so much money
Speaker 2: that you're like, you're generous.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you've got it all, thoughtful guests, you're the thoughtful personn.
Speaker 3: Ex exactly, Brianna. You don't want people to think things
Speaker 3: are going wrong, and the first way to let things
Speaker 3: people know things are going wrong is to stop giving gifts. Yes,
Speaker 3: so actually get progressively more expensive gifts, even if it
Speaker 3: ruins you, because if she's not dead already.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're gonna guilt this lady into an early gests.
Speaker 3: You'll kill her soon enough. Yes, Brianna, Oh, don't right
Speaker 3: back in. Okay, we answered it perfectly. We probably solved
Speaker 3: a lot of issues in that family. Yes, who knows.
Speaker 3: Maybe there's a rekindling of love, there's you know, children
Speaker 3: revealing secrets. There's no telling what this podcast can do. Oh, Maria,
Speaker 3: I have this beautiful piece of art. I have a
Speaker 3: prize winning piece of art. True, this is the first
Speaker 3: award winning piece of art I've gotten this podcast.
Speaker 2: Am I going to be able to tour the to
Speaker 2: see the other.
Speaker 3: I can show you the other art so exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll bring it out. We've gotten a few pieces that
Speaker 3: are all lovely. I've had such a wonderful time with
Speaker 3: you here today. Thank you for extremely boring. I know
Speaker 3: I'm exhausted. I know we're gonna have to cut this
Speaker 3: down to about three minutes of audio. Thank you for
Speaker 3: being here. My pleasure listener podcast is screeching to a halt,
Speaker 3: Go do something else. I love you, goodbye. I said,
Speaker 3: No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by
Speaker 3: our dear friend on Aalise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed
Speaker 3: by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without our
Speaker 3: guest booker, Patrick Cottner. The theme song, of course, could
Speaker 3: only come from a miracle worker, Amy Mann. You must
Speaker 3: follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts,
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you
Speaker 3: get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting.
Speaker 3: And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts?
Speaker 1: And I invited you hear thought a man myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to
Speaker 1: me empty. And I said, no gifts, your presences presents enough,
Speaker 1: and I'm already too much stuff.
Speaker 2: So how do you dare to survey me?