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Speaker 1: One or two point seven Kiss FM Tubbs bring in

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Speaker 1: your favorite guest of the day on hump Day Helper Day.

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Speaker 1: So we got in this conversation about romance in your

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Speaker 1: relationships and wondering do we know what we're doing or

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Speaker 1: do we just take it all from TV and movies

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Speaker 1: and assume we're doing it right and well? Right? We

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Speaker 1: can always the students, Well, I think you know. We're

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Speaker 1: taught so many things, but one of the most important

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Speaker 1: things in life is being connected with your partner and

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Speaker 1: making them smile. M Yeah, for difficult to talk about

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Speaker 1: this on the air. This is what keeps this is

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Speaker 1: what keeps relationships together, right, the intimacy and the communication

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Speaker 1: of the intimacy. Evan mark Katz is joining us right now.

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Speaker 1: He's a dating coach as part of our Hump Day

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Speaker 1: Helper segment, which is clearly later in the morning after

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Speaker 1: school starts. Uh, coach, how are you great to be here? Bryan?

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm really excited. I got some good questions

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Speaker 1: to answer for you today. Okay, good, well, these are

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Speaker 1: from people listening. Now. You call yourself a personal channel

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Speaker 1: for smart, successful, strong women. Over women have graduated from

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Speaker 1: love you what is that. It's a six months of

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Speaker 1: course that I have for women who are struggling to

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Speaker 1: fix their broken man picker, Man picker, you mean they're

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Speaker 1: choosing the wrong guys. You could you could be the

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Speaker 1: world's greatest person, but if you shack up with the

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Speaker 1: wrong person, you have no future. So getting the decision

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Speaker 1: right early on it's going to save you a lot

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Speaker 1: of trouble in the future. And how is it you

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Speaker 1: know all this a lot of trial and Aaron practice, uh,

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Speaker 1: dating in l A for about ten years as now,

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Speaker 1: the married for fifteen years, coaching for twenty so I've

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Speaker 1: helped a lot of women. All right, let's get to

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Speaker 1: some of the questions, because we're gonna do these hump

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Speaker 1: day helper segments about anything in or romance, anything in

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Speaker 1: your intimacy category department they think you want to ask

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Speaker 1: about I'm talking to somebody want to answer it. So

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Speaker 1: this is from the six One says my X and

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Speaker 1: I ended very badly two years ago, but I still

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Speaker 1: have his location on my phone. I check it often,

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Speaker 1: and the spiral about who he might be with, if

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Speaker 1: he's at dinner or a movie or something. Why am

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Speaker 1: I like this? How do I move on good question. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think there's no great value of beating

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Speaker 1: yourself up for being human. Wondering about the past is normal.

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Speaker 1: Everybody's going to go online and cyberstock and X. I

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Speaker 1: think the key phrase from which you wrote is my

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Speaker 1: X and I ended very badly right. So to to

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Speaker 1: invest a lot of times fantasizing about something where you

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Speaker 1: already know it's dead in the water, her best move

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Speaker 1: would be to try to look forward and find someone else.

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Speaker 1: And when you have a happy relationship, you're not going

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Speaker 1: to be obsessing about your ex workings add it badly,

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Speaker 1: m that's true, and remove him from your location. But

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Speaker 1: that's the thing. When you have that there, or you're

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Speaker 1: still following them the Instagram, it's tords self torture. This

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Speaker 1: is from Leah in Eagle Rock. I need advice on

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Speaker 1: how to stop having a giant crush on a coworker.

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Speaker 1: We work in a classroom all day together and get

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Speaker 1: along so well. We're both married. I would never act

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Speaker 1: on this, but I find myself fantasizing about him. I

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Speaker 1: would never jeopardize my marriage and act on it, but

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Speaker 1: I can't stop thinking about it. This is this is

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Speaker 1: um I'm sort of sensing a theme um with these

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Speaker 1: questions where people want things that are not meant to be,

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Speaker 1: things that are that are taboo, and so uh, you know.

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Speaker 1: Leo also needs to recognize it's it's human to have

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Speaker 1: crushes on other people. Just because you're married doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: you stop having eyes. That doesn't mean you stop having feelings.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, if you're presumably happily married, you

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Speaker 1: have to recognize that having a crush on someone is

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Speaker 1: easy to think of the dozen hundreds of people that

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Speaker 1: you've had rushes on, none of them had the happy

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Speaker 1: ending that you wanted, except for the person you married.

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Speaker 1: So what we have to do is kind of killed

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Speaker 1: and fantasy that if she did anything with this guy

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Speaker 1: that it would go anywhere. Would it would be an

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Speaker 1: obvious disaster if she would have act on it that

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Speaker 1: she's already recognized. So just realize it's like it's just

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Speaker 1: a dopamine spike to have a crush on someone. She

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Speaker 1: could even enjoy it as long as she recognizes it

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Speaker 1: for what it is. So is there guilt in what

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Speaker 1: she's feeling right now? You think or not? I think

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Speaker 1: she's probably feeling guilt. Guilt is also like a self

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Speaker 1: imposed emotion. You only feel guilty if you think you're

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Speaker 1: doing something wrong. So you're lighting up around someone who

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Speaker 1: you find attractive, that's okay. I think the key is

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Speaker 1: whether you're going to act on it. And it sounds

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Speaker 1: like her morality is in the right place, so you know,

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Speaker 1: in the best case scenario, she could avoid temptation. Right,

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Speaker 1: but she says she's in a classroom with them all day.

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Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. I don't think she needs to

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Speaker 1: go to the higher ups and quit her job because

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Speaker 1: it is so I think she could probably channel this

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Speaker 1: into enjoying the crush and recognizing it for what it is,

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Speaker 1: sort of and something that reminds her of this part

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Speaker 1: of her that was single ones upon a time. Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like people tend to pathologize

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Speaker 1: crushes and turn them into something bad. Their only bad

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Speaker 1: if the act on them. Our hump helper Evan Mark

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Speaker 1: Kat's with us, all right, Well, I know we've got more,

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Speaker 1: but we're out of time for this segment. So thank

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Speaker 1: you very much for coming on personal trainer, he says,

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Speaker 1: for smart, strong, successful women. Over women have graduated from

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Speaker 1: his Love You six month course. It helps women understand

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Speaker 1: men and find love Evan mark cats dot com. But

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Speaker 1: if you're listening to this segment and there are any

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Speaker 1: questions you have for a segment like this will rotate

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Speaker 1: different people. You can text us four one or two seven.

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Speaker 1: But I would imagine that with every situation and story

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Speaker 1: that we've talked about, somebody listenings in that situation as well.

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Speaker 1: Thank you coach Evan for coming on. Thank you appreciate it. Right,

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Speaker 1: So do you agree sis any do you kind of

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Speaker 1: eyes for someone? I don't that was that. I was

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Speaker 1: very taken aback from that. Yeah, I don't hurt my feelings.

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Speaker 1: But also, like you still recognize attractive men. It's fine

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Speaker 1: to recognize as someone is attractive. I don't know about

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Speaker 1: having a crush on somebody and not acting on it,

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Speaker 1: like especially someone that you work with every single day.

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Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think that's healthy. It's not

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Speaker 1: like the celebrity whatever list, right, I mean that's like

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Speaker 1: too close for comfort. I agree, I mean I don't think.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's I don't know. I don't think

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Speaker 1: I could do it. I'm uncomfortable during these segments. No,

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Speaker 1: this is good because who knows. That's why it's good.

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Speaker 1: I like it. I liked it too, But it's the

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Speaker 1: same thing of like, oh no, what's how does he know?

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Speaker 1: But he's telling us how does he know? Take it

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Speaker 1: with a grain of salt. Yeah, well, next week talks.

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Speaker 1: Feel free to text in four, one or two seven.

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Speaker 1: He made it seem like every married person has a crush,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, well, he's yes, generalizing back in

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Speaker 1: one minute, we're paying a bill. In the five, six, two,