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Speaker 1: M Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it

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Speaker 1: for you. Here it is strawberry letter. Thank you nephew.

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Speaker 1: This could be your letter subject. I've been with a

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Speaker 1: few of his buddies. Dear Stephen Shirley, i am a

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Speaker 1: twenty nine year old female and I've been dating a

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Speaker 1: forty year old guy for a year. I am madly

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Speaker 1: in love with him, and I believe he's my soul mate.

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Speaker 1: But I'm afraid my past won't let us last. You see,

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Speaker 1: right before I met my man, I was seeing another

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Speaker 1: guy and we had sex one time. It happened only

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Speaker 1: one time, and he stopped calling me after that. Two

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Speaker 1: months later, I met my current boyfriend and we hit

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Speaker 1: it off immediately. We had great conversation in great sexual chemistry,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of other stuff in common despite the

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Speaker 1: age difference. Early on, he asked me about my past lovers,

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Speaker 1: and one in particular that he used to play basketball with.

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Speaker 1: It was a guy that I dated before I met him.

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Speaker 1: I told my boyfriend that I know the guy, but

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Speaker 1: I never had sex with him. Yes, I lied to

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Speaker 1: the man that I consider my soul mate. Fast forward

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Speaker 1: to a couple of weeks ago, when my man came

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Speaker 1: over to my house after leaving the gym. He told

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Speaker 1: me that he ran into his buddy, the same guy

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Speaker 1: I messed around with and lied about. This guy told

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Speaker 1: my man that we did have sex, so I had

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Speaker 1: to come clean and apologize for lying. My boyfriend then

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Speaker 1: said that he knows several other guys that I've slept

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Speaker 1: with that I've had sex with, but he doesn't hold

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Speaker 1: it against me because I was younger and care free

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Speaker 1: at the time. So much for living in a small

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Speaker 1: town and trying to keep a low profile. He said

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Speaker 1: that he still loved me, but he can't get past

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Speaker 1: the fact that I lied, and it makes it harder

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Speaker 1: for him to trust me. I feel like he looks

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Speaker 1: at me differently now. I love this man and he

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Speaker 1: says he loves me, But can he really leave my

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Speaker 1: past in the past. Do you think this will be

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Speaker 1: an issue forever? Well, you know, you never know it

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Speaker 1: might be. These are the kind of double standards I

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Speaker 1: hate right here, when you know just because you have

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Speaker 1: a past, someone holds it against you. Right now, everyone

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Speaker 1: has a past. Every single person has a past. Period.

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Speaker 1: You live in a small town, chances are you know

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Speaker 1: people are gonna know each other if it's that small

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Speaker 1: of a town. But I say, your past is your past.

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Speaker 1: You got to own it. If it's your past, it's

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Speaker 1: who you are. Don't let anyone make you feel a

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Speaker 1: certain way because you do have a past. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: everyone has a past. And guess what, you don't have

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Speaker 1: to tell everything. You do not have to tell everything.

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Speaker 1: And what I also advise you to do. Just because

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Speaker 1: you meet someone, you know it's a small town, you

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Speaker 1: gotta you know, you gotta be careful. You just can't

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Speaker 1: jump into bed. You know, you said this guy, you

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Speaker 1: guys had great conversation and great sexual chemistry. Hold off

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Speaker 1: on that for a little while, you know. And these

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Speaker 1: guys that keep running their mouths about the fact that

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Speaker 1: they've been with you, either they're they're telling too much

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Speaker 1: or your guys lying to you, trying to get you

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Speaker 1: to tell the truth. Uh. You know, everybody again has

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Speaker 1: a past. Don't make your let your past define your

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Speaker 1: future and who you are today. If he loves you,

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Speaker 1: he loves you. Some guys can't get past these things though,

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Speaker 1: So if you want to be with him, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to stop talking. You're gonna have to leave your

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Speaker 1: past in the past. All right, Jay, okay, shut up.

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Speaker 1: Let me just say this about that in the past.

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Speaker 1: I will get all when Tommy saying, Let Tommy saying,

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Speaker 1: if I was with somebody and they had been with

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Speaker 1: somebody else, that was in the past. But when you

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Speaker 1: reach this age here soon, yeah, you can't get all

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Speaker 1: up in your feelings about who somebody else. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I'm just so happy somebody wants to be with me,

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Speaker 1: So the fact that they've been with somebody else, I

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Speaker 1: don't even want to ask that question, because suppose there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of people, and then it's a long list.

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Speaker 1: We wasting time with her going through the list. We

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Speaker 1: don't get to do what we're supposed to do. And

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Speaker 1: I don't feel a damn sleep because she it was

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Speaker 1: Billy Timmy is don't forget your wrong watch man that

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Speaker 1: night I was drunk, Cynthia, But we don't talk about that,

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Speaker 1: you know, So I couldn't care less. I'm just so

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Speaker 1: happy you want to be with me. I could care

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Speaker 1: less who you've been with at all. Mature man, might

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Speaker 1: bro what you can cure. Mature man, All right, come on,

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Speaker 1: you can't be You can't be in a small town

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Speaker 1: doing big things with everybody, and that is what we

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Speaker 1: have here. I think here's the problem, and I don't.

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Speaker 1: It's something about a man. Once a man finds out

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Speaker 1: that you have been with one of his boys, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he cannot get that out of his head. It's not

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Speaker 1: going to leave whatever you think you all are going

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Speaker 1: to have. I promise you, it's gonna come to an

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Speaker 1: end because that man can't sleep at night knowing that

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Speaker 1: that's the truth, that's from a real man giving it

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Speaker 1: to you straight. I can't sleep with it. I can't

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Speaker 1: digest it, and most men can't. Now, Jay, when you

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Speaker 1: say when you get a little older, might be all

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Speaker 1: right with it, I promise you if you think this

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Speaker 1: man gonna marry you after he know that, it's not

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Speaker 1: gonna happen. Not going to happen because it's his buddy.

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Speaker 1: He knows him, and you lie. Now he don't know

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Speaker 1: what else you're then lied about? Now how many more

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Speaker 1: your kid buddies? Yeah, So so let me get this straight.

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Speaker 1: You're upset because she lied. That's part of it, I say,

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Speaker 1: because because men, especially on this show, they live by

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Speaker 1: the creed of lying. So I'm shocked that I show

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Speaker 1: Now I'm so shocked that you're upset that she lied. Well,

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Speaker 1: surely it's like this. I don't think it's gonna work

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Speaker 1: no matter either way, because if she, if she told

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Speaker 1: the truth, it's still his boy. Huh. If you're lying,

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Speaker 1: you find out it's still his boy, and he knows

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Speaker 1: you've been with my boy. So it's just something about

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Speaker 1: the man. He just he just don't He don't want

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Speaker 1: to be with a girl that's been with his boy.

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Speaker 1: That's what that's most men, that's I know. He don't

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Speaker 1: want to be with his boys no more either. He lose,

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Speaker 1: he launched the boy, and now they're gonna be back

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Speaker 1: down that hooping. Trust me, Oh you think so? They're

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Speaker 1: gonna be back down that hoop. You didn't even know.

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Speaker 1: He didn't know her then, but his boy, his boy

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Speaker 1: was his boy came to him say, hey, man, I

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Speaker 1: got it, gonna take you. It has happened between her

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Speaker 1: and I. Well, what is he telling that for though

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Speaker 1: you know that that's just whacked to me? What is

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Speaker 1: he telling her that that's your We got hold on,

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Speaker 1: we'll be back, we got part. Oh, yes we will,

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Speaker 1: We'll have party. Subject. I've been with a few of

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Speaker 1: his buddies. That is the subject. Um and so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's the title of it. All right, Listen,

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Speaker 1: we gotta recap this letter first. Let's recap Yeah, Tommy, Okay.

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Speaker 1: A twenty nine year old woman wrote in she's dating

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Speaker 1: a forty year old guy. They've been together for about

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Speaker 1: a year. She's madly in love with him. She thinks

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Speaker 1: he's her soul mate. She's afraid, though, that her past

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Speaker 1: won't let them last. She says she lives in a

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Speaker 1: small town, and um, she was seeing before she met

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Speaker 1: her current man. She was seeing another guy and they

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Speaker 1: had sex just one time. It only happened one time,

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Speaker 1: they stopped. They stopped seeing each other after that. Two

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Speaker 1: months later she met her current boyfriend. They hit it

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Speaker 1: off immediately, had great conversation, great sexual chemistry, a lot

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Speaker 1: of other stuff in common despite the age difference. So

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Speaker 1: they're together now. Early on her guy asked her about

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Speaker 1: her past lovers, and one in particular that he used

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Speaker 1: to play basketball whipsy. I think this subject, by the way,

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Speaker 1: is misleading, because she says, I've been with a few

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Speaker 1: of his buddies, but in the letters she's only talking

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Speaker 1: about one in particular. But then that means they're more

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Speaker 1: he ran it. Well yeah, well yeah, well your past

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Speaker 1: won't let you last cause up your ass. Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: a gospel play. I'm just saying. Now, Okay, Shirley, let's talk.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk small town. Okay, Yeah, let's talk. Let's talk

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Speaker 1: Mayberry all right, let's talk may be right Barney? Okay, Now, now,

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Speaker 1: can can Barney meet somebody? And and and and Andy?

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Speaker 1: This is an old old Pitchers happy people don't know

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Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. You gonna bring this up to date?

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Speaker 1: Power power, let's do can ghosts? Can ghost get hooked

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Speaker 1: up with somebody that Tommy used to be with? And

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Speaker 1: Tommy got to tell Ghosts. Hey, hey, dude, I gotta

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Speaker 1: tell you me and how I used to kick it

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Speaker 1: back in the day. You gotta say something right. Let

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Speaker 1: me ask questions a little different because Tommy and Ghosts

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Speaker 1: are besties. Huh what? Yeah? And New York is a

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Speaker 1: big city. Powers that hang out in the same club,

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Speaker 1: so you want the same circle of friends. They play

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Speaker 1: basketball together, they do poot power in Austin texts and

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Speaker 1: where we are? And what is a few? What is

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Speaker 1: a few? We're talking to three? Two? It's always been

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Speaker 1: three or more. Three or more is a few. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well she does a man code and then as an

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Speaker 1: old man code, which different acause in the man code

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Speaker 1: you rode. In the old man code you don't get

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Speaker 1: in an up roll because most of them, dude might

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Speaker 1: be dead anyway, so you ain't gonna work. No, I

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Speaker 1: just think that thinking, you know, it is just archaic.

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Speaker 1: I just really do. Everyone has a past. She lives everyone,

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Speaker 1: and she is where she lives. I mean, that's what

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Speaker 1: happens where she just happens to be in a small town.

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Speaker 1: What is she not sleep with a town? She didn't

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Speaker 1: say she slept with the whole town. But she didn't

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Speaker 1: s slept with a few of his friends. It's a

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Speaker 1: small down. She needs to fast somebody that ain't got

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Speaker 1: no fredy, how you do that in a small town, temmy,

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Speaker 1: But go to another town. Go to there's another There's

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Speaker 1: got to be another smaller town close to that small

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Speaker 1: You need to move time, go out, my love. Come on, guys, no,

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Speaker 1: well you have tainted this town. Tainted. This is a

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Speaker 1: This is a double standard. The guys are sleeping around too.

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Speaker 1: Come on, guys, okay, but guys, they can't get past it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you know that's what I'm saying. Call him. I'm

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Speaker 1: being honest. Men cannot get past that you've been with

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Speaker 1: somebody they know or their friends. It's hard for me

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Speaker 1: to get past it. Yeah. Yeah, and that's why they

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Speaker 1: play ball with you gotta see him all the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to see if it were me, if women

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Speaker 1: can we get past if a guy slept with some

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Speaker 1: of our girlfriends let me see m No, especially if

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Speaker 1: she's cut in me, especially if she banging her body.

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Speaker 1: I know you, Oh no, I think I think as

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Speaker 1: you yeah, as you're mature, I think maybe those things

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Speaker 1: aren't as important, you know, as they once were. Who

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Speaker 1: you slept, not a woman who you see all the time.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, see that's the thing too. This is a

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Speaker 1: man that he sees all the time. So you think

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Speaker 1: about a woman you see all the time, got with

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Speaker 1: your man? Okay? What about Okay? Then what about a

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Speaker 1: guy who um is you know this happens guys loves

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Speaker 1: fall in love with strippers, fall in love with hookers,

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Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff they have passed. I had

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Speaker 1: to say hookers whatever, whatever, they prostitutes, They say, a

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Speaker 1: working girl, working, working girl. Okay, that's different though. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it's kind of the same day. Have a past,

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Speaker 1: you don't see the guys, but she's still been with

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Speaker 1: a lot of guys. It's just because the fact that

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Speaker 1: these are his buddies, that's the problem. That's what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: That's the problem. That's what I think. It's the Yea,

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Speaker 1: that's what the problem is. An Tommy, you made it

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Speaker 1: seem like he was upset at the fact that she lied.

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Speaker 1: Now is it that she lied or that she was

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Speaker 1: with a few of his buddies. It's both both of them. Yes,

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Speaker 1: because she need to get on magabus and go to

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Speaker 1: the next time. No, no, no, just take a trip.

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Speaker 1: Just take a trip, go see if maybe you you

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Speaker 1: can live in the next time. Maybe don't nobody know

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Speaker 1: you there well knowing this girl, buttn she get to

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Speaker 1: the next time, she wouldn't have had shits with it.

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Speaker 1: That this is who she is, this is her life.

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Speaker 1: And that's what I'm saying. Just because I say that earlier.

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Speaker 1: Just when you meet guys, stop jumping in bed with

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Speaker 1: them just because you guys have great sexual chemistry and everything.

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Speaker 1: You can't do that, you know, that's what she's Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what she said. We have great conversation, great sexual chemistry.

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Speaker 1: Slow down your past, but your past is your past.

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Speaker 1: You still need to own your past. Don't don't spread

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Speaker 1: yourself too thin. We can't say that anything. All right, listen,

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Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. Guys, email us or

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Speaker 1: instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. At Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey FM. We'll have more of the Steve Harvey Morning

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Speaker 1: Show right after this. You're listening to the Steven Show.