1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: episode is going to be a longer one part of 4 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: the series where I interview fascinating people about how they 5 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,120 Speaker 1: take their days from great to awesome and how the 6 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: rest of us can as well. So today I am 7 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: delighted to welcome Olga Hasan to the show. Olga is 8 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 1: the author of a brand new book that is called 9 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: Me But Better and about whether it is possible to 10 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: change your personality. 11 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 2: So, Olga, welcome to the show. 12 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks so much for having me. 13 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, so, why don't you introduce yourself to our listeners. 14 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit about you. 15 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I'm Olga has On. I'm a staff writer 16 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 3: at The Atlantic magazine. I've been there for more than 17 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 3: a decade now, and I'm the author of two books, 18 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 3: and Me But Better is my most recent book. It's 19 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 3: based on a magazine cover story that I wrote a 20 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 3: couple of years ago, and it's based on my own 21 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 3: personal experience of trying to change my personality for the better. 22 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 2: Which is interesting, I mean, because you seem like a. 23 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: Perfectly lovely person, so very curious what inspired this, what 24 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: made you think about changing your personality? 25 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, thank you. Well so, yeah, So the way 26 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 3: you seem to other people is one element of personality, 27 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 3: but another element of personality is how you feel, and 28 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 3: whether you are able to accomplish your goals in the 29 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 3: way that you would like, and whether you enjoy your life. 30 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 3: And what I found was that often my reactions to 31 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 3: things were sort of not helping me. They were kind 32 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 3: of holding me back. So I would have a perfectly 33 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 3: fine day, but with maybe some minor setbacks. In the 34 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,279 Speaker 3: intro of the book, I talk about a day where 35 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 3: I got a bad haircut and then got photos taken 36 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 3: that didn't look good, and then I got stuck in traffic, 37 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 3: and all of those things really just kind of ate 38 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 3: away me until I had this like huge meltdown that 39 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 3: was totally out of proportion to what was going on. 40 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 3: And I kind of realized that that variations on that 41 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 3: happened kind of a lot, and I wanted to see 42 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 3: what I could do about that. So that is kind 43 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 3: of what started me out on my journey. 44 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, do you think that's a common thing 45 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: of people sort of having that tendency to melt down over. 46 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,519 Speaker 2: I mean, what are in essence first world problems? 47 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, so it's that tendency is related to 48 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 3: the personality trait of neuroticism, which is basically just like 49 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 3: depression and anxiety, and a component of that is like 50 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 3: this this feeling that like you get overwhelmed easily, Like 51 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,680 Speaker 3: when too many things happen, You're not like, bless this mess, 52 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 3: what a day. You're just like, oh my god, I 53 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 3: can't take it anymore, you know. And so I was 54 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 3: definitely in that second category, and I was trying to 55 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 3: kind of get out of that and more into the 56 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 3: blessed this mess territory. 57 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:00,679 Speaker 1: Yes, we all need the motivational quotes up on the wall, right, Yes, yeah, 58 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: a cross stitch sampler saying those things. 59 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 2: Well, but here's the question for you. 60 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: I mean, are some personalities better than others? I mean, 61 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,839 Speaker 1: how can we even think about this? 62 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, So there's five traits that make up personality. So 63 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 3: it's openness to experiences, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and then actually 64 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 3: the opposite of neuroticism, emotional stability, is the one that 65 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 3: you want to have, and generally being higher on all 66 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 3: five of those traits is considered like more adaptive in 67 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 3: science terms, or kind of just healthier and better for you. 68 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 3: So people who are a little bit more agreeable, a 69 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 3: little bit more conscientious, they tend to just like be 70 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 3: a little bit more successful, Like they make more money, 71 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 3: they have more friends, they you know, are healthier. So 72 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 3: you do kind of want to be higher on all 73 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 3: of those traits, but you don't necessarily want to be 74 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 3: like all the way at the extreme one hundred percent 75 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 3: more so than everyone else, because that can also start 76 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 3: to be you know, a little bit a little bit off, 77 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 3: like obsessive or just just kind of not quite right. 78 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, as somebody who is one hundred percent agreeable would 79 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: be something of a doormat. 80 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 3: I say, exactly exactly. You want to be disagreeable sometimes. 81 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes when you're disagreeing with the right things to 82 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: disagree with. But I mean, why are we who we are? 83 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 1: I mean, is this sort of in the genetic mix 84 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: or how we're raised? I mean, how do we get 85 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: our personalities? 86 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, so we get about forty to sixty percent of 87 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 3: our personalities from our parents. Doesn't mean we're exactly like 88 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 3: our parents, but just that's the part that's sort of inherited. 89 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 3: It's in our genes. So if your parents are sort 90 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 3: of extreme extroverts, there's a good chance that you will 91 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 3: also be somewhat extroverted. But there's like a good chunk 92 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 3: of that about half that is also just comes from 93 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 3: your environment. And it's not totally how your parents raised 94 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 3: you either. It's sort of like where you grew up, 95 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,720 Speaker 3: who your friends are, what kind of job you end 96 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 3: up having, whether you get married, you know, what kind 97 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 3: of work you pursue, whether you go to college. All 98 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 3: of those things kind of form your personality and develop 99 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 3: who you are as a person. And it's it's really 100 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 3: hard to say, like which of those factors is the 101 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 3: most important. One researcher described it to me as more 102 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 3: like a tapestry where everything kind of comes together and 103 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,280 Speaker 3: creates kind of who you are. 104 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's an interesting thing to think about. 105 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: I mean, what is personality then, and like the definition 106 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: of personality versus just how I'm sort of responding to 107 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: my life or how you know, things come to me. 108 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: I guess what makes something personality? 109 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 3: Oh that's interesting. 110 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 111 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 3: So for a while there there were some researchers like 112 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 3: Carol Dweck was one of them who basically thought like, 113 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 3: there's no such thing as personality, and all we do 114 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 3: is just respond to situations like, something bad happens, you 115 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 3: respond this way. Something good happens, you respond that way. 116 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 3: But I think it's kind of both. So it's it's 117 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 3: sort of like how you typically respond to situations, right, 118 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 3: And kind of other researchers who are not of that 119 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,280 Speaker 3: school kind of think it's also personality. One way of 120 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 3: looking at it as sort of how you pursue goals, 121 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 3: and and that personality actually helps you attain your goals. 122 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 3: So if you think about a trait like conscientiousness, you know, 123 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 3: always being on time, being super organized, you know, kind 124 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 3: of knowing where all of your tax forms are, those 125 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,039 Speaker 3: things help you achieve certain goals. You probably, you know, 126 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 3: are going to be on time to your job interview, 127 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 3: so you're going to get that job. You know, you 128 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 3: probably are going to eat right, and so you're going 129 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 3: to live a little bit longer. If those are goals 130 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 3: that you have, that element of your personality helps you 131 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 3: pursue your goals. So that's kind of a newer way 132 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 3: of thinking about it as opposed to things happen and 133 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 3: we react in various ways. 134 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and the point of your book is that you 135 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: might be able to actually change some of these. I 136 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: mean it sounds like, again, you know, if forty to 137 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: sixty percent is from your genetic background, it's pretty hard 138 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: to change that. But that still leaves a reasonable chunk 139 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: that we might be able to modify slightly. I mean, 140 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: is this doable? I'm just thinking about something like being conscientious. 141 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: I mean, it does, in fact help to know where 142 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: your tax forms are and to know how to get 143 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: to a job interview on time. But if you're not 144 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: naturally inclined that way, I mean, how would one even 145 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: go about becoming the sort of person who knows where 146 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: their tax forms are? 147 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? So I actually started out really conscientious, so that 148 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 3: wasn't a trait that I tried to change personally. But 149 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 3: I did interview a lot of people who became conscientious 150 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 3: for the book, and they were all exactly what you describe, 151 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 3: like they had no idea how to start. You know. 152 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 3: One of them was like a freelance writer who quit 153 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 3: her job to freelance write and then didn't end up 154 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 3: doing any writing because she just like was like, I 155 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 3: don't know how do I begin? Where do I go 156 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 3: from here. Another one was like this this guy who 157 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 3: wanted to become a professional psychologist, but he had never 158 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 3: studied for a test before or written a paper by 159 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 3: the time he got to college. So what they did 160 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 3: is they just like kind of for conscientiousness in particular, 161 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 3: they just set up systems that worked for them. Like 162 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 3: they really had to sit down and be like, Okay, 163 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 3: I am going to make a calendar of everything I 164 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 3: have to do today, and I'm going to assign everything 165 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 3: to a time slot. You know. The guy who wanted 166 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 3: to become a psychologist, he made you know, note cards 167 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,959 Speaker 3: of every single word that could be on the gre 168 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 3: and you know, quizzed himself all day. He found a 169 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 3: study partner and they just like read like psychology texts 170 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,319 Speaker 3: into the night together. 171 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: You know. 172 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 3: He bought a book called how to Make A's or 173 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 3: something like that and just like yeah, I read it 174 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 3: and was like, Okay, I'm going to study. I'm going 175 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 3: to like highlight, I'm gonna take notes. You know. So 176 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 3: for conscientiousness, it is one of those things where if 177 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 3: you set up systems that will help you to succeed, 178 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 3: you actually can become conscientious even if you're not like 179 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 3: don't have necessarily a huge shift in mindset. It's one 180 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 3: where really the habits come first and then the conscientiousness 181 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 3: kind of follows. 182 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 183 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, The good news is there's so much out there 184 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: in the world of different systems and ideas and like that. 185 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: There is a book on how to make a's that 186 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: breaks it down for someone who has not done that. 187 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 2: But yeah, you have to decide to avail yourself of 188 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 2: all this. 189 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 1: Well, we're going to take a quick ad break and 190 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: I will be back with more from Olga Hassan. 191 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 2: Well, we are back. 192 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: I am interviewing Olga Hassan, who is the author of 193 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,959 Speaker 1: the brand new book Me But Better, about the science 194 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: of personality change. So we'll go to a different aspect 195 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: of personality, the one about being more anxious, like somebody 196 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: who is more temperamentally anxious. That's when you cover a 197 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: bit more in the book and your own personal experiences 198 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: of changing this. So let's say someone is temperamentally anxious, 199 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: not describing either of us. I am sure, but what 200 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 1: can you do to actually change this tendency of yours? 201 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,680 Speaker 3: People really hate this suggestion, anxious people in particular. But 202 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 3: all of the research and all of the strategies and 203 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,439 Speaker 3: everything that I read basically comes back down to mindfulness. 204 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 3: People don't want to hear that. They're like, I hate meditation, 205 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 3: I hate mindfulness, Give me something else. Now. It's true 206 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 3: that neuroticism scores do go down with things like antidepressants. 207 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 3: I think, like there was a study on zoloft, which 208 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 3: actually reduces neuroticism. Therapy can also reduce neuroticism. But if 209 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 3: you just don't want to deal with any of that 210 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 3: and want to do something your own, it really does 211 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 3: come down to mindfulness and meditation practices that are really 212 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 3: proven to bring down anxiety and depression sometimes as well 213 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 3: as lexipro. 214 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, well what does that look like then? 215 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: So I says, Okay, I want to be more mindful 216 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,679 Speaker 1: and meditate and hopefully cure my anxiety. 217 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 2: What should somebody who's thinking about that actually do. Yeah? 218 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 3: So I took an intensive meditation class called MBSR and 219 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 3: that involved meditating for about forty five minutes a day. 220 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,679 Speaker 3: And the kind of meditation that they did. There's all 221 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 3: different kinds of meditation. This one was very kind of basic. 222 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 3: You just sit and in the quiet and follow your 223 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 3: breath and it's that same thing of like when thoughts arise, 224 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 3: just watch them pass by like clouds. Very difficult to do, 225 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 3: you know, and it is. It is challenging, like and 226 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 3: I found it challenging pretty much the whole time that 227 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 3: I that I did it. I will say though, that 228 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 3: my depressed score went down after I completed the class. 229 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 3: My anxiety also went down, but not a ton. I 230 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 3: still scored very high on anxiety at the end of it, 231 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 3: I think, honestly, like I am just so anxious that 232 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 3: it worked a little bit, but not all the way. 233 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean it is something. And other people 234 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 3: in my class, you know, they were like, oh, I'm 235 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 3: totally cured, Like, you know, it works differently for different people. 236 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 3: But yeah, unfortunately it is just sort of like sitting 237 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 3: there and you know, trying to follow your breath. You know, 238 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 3: there's other kinds too. There's loving kindness. Meditation is sort 239 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 3: of like repeating kind phrases to yourself and others. Some 240 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 3: people find that a little bit easier because there's actually 241 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 3: something to focus on that's not just your breath. And 242 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 3: also some types of yoga can be considered mindfulness, and 243 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 3: that's more of like a moving meditation I'm not talking 244 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 3: here about like core power where you're like listening to 245 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 3: Britney Spears, but like sort of just like a slower 246 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 3: yoga where you're like really focusing on the breath and 247 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 3: the movement. 248 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. 249 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: Well, maybe listening to Britney Spears makes some people less anxious. 250 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 2: I don't know. 251 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 3: So I tried to listen to music during my meditation 252 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 3: class and they were like, do do that? 253 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 2: Like, don't you allowed to do that? 254 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: Yeah? 255 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 2: Not allowed? 256 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean it's forty five minutes the minimum 257 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,199 Speaker 1: viable dose or is there? 258 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,839 Speaker 2: Is it possible to No? 259 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 3: No, And honestly, the minimal minimum Bible dose is however 260 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,280 Speaker 3: much time you have. If you have five minutes, take 261 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 3: the five minutes, do some deep breathing exercises, you know, 262 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 3: try to breathe in, you know, hold it for four counts, 263 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 3: breathe out for you know, five counts. I forget what 264 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 3: the exact counts are, you know, but do some slow breathing. 265 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 3: Even if you have let's say you're you're taking a shower, 266 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 3: you just have like those whatever five six minutes to 267 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 3: take a shower. Try to have a mindful shower where 268 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 3: you just focus on how good it feels to be 269 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 3: in the hot water. Yeah, it's definitely. You do not 270 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 3: have to commit to forty five minutes a day. 271 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 2: That's good because a lot of people don't have forty 272 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 2: five minutes a day. People would not do it, would 273 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:03,679 Speaker 2: not do it. 274 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm sure there's different stages of life where 275 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 1: this is more possible and less possible. But let's talk 276 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 1: about introversion and extroversion because that is another one of 277 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 1: the big five personality traits that you know, we've been 278 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 1: learning over the years in recent decades more about what 279 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 1: it means to be introverted and extroverted. Is there any 280 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 1: reason to change that or to try to push oneself 281 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: one way or the other. Yeah. 282 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 3: So when I first started this, I really identified very 283 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,360 Speaker 3: strongly as an introvert, and so I was a little 284 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:42,120 Speaker 3: bit resistant kind of of the idea. I kind of 285 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 3: wanted more friends and more socializing, but I also wanted 286 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 3: to stay true to like my introversion, you know. And 287 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,600 Speaker 3: what I really found is that the research kind of 288 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 3: consistently shows that extroverts are happier. And even if you 289 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 3: take introverts and tell them to go be extra proverted 290 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 3: for a few minutes, they come back happier, and they 291 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 3: also say that they felt truer to themselves when they 292 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 3: were being extroverted, like that they felt more authentic, which 293 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 3: doesn't seem to make sense. But basically, what all this 294 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 3: research is pointing to is the fact that social connections 295 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 3: really do make us happy. Even if we still have 296 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 3: that restorative need to be an introvert at the end 297 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 3: of the day and like sip our tea and read 298 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 3: our book, we still need that connection with society and 299 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 3: we can't just like be by ourselves all the time. 300 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 3: So for me, it was really pushing myself to kind 301 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 3: of take on more activities, develop some hobbies, and really socialize, 302 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 3: you know, quite a bit more than what I was doing. 303 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, so what would somebody do if they identify that 304 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 1: as something they'd like to push themselves a little bit on. 305 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 3: I would really recommend signing up for something that you 306 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 3: have to go to somewhat regularly. It is really hard 307 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 3: to in this day and age, commit to socializing if 308 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 3: what you're doing is like texting people to be like 309 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 3: let's get drinks, and you're all like trying to find 310 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 3: a time, and like no one has time, and you 311 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 3: don't end up doing it and everyone cancels at the 312 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 3: last minute. Instead, I would sign up for like a 313 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 3: class or some kind of activity where you prepaid it's 314 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 3: hard to get out of other people are relying on you, 315 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 3: or like I took improv and you actually can't miss 316 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 3: more than two classes, so it'sych. Even if you don't 317 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 3: feel like going, you better go. And honestly, that was 318 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 3: actually kind of a good commitment device for me, because 319 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 3: I think there were way too many days where after 320 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 3: a long day at work, I didn't really feel like going. 321 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 3: But what happens is that, like if you actually force 322 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 3: yourself to go and set aside that time for having fun, 323 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 3: as like dorky as that sounds, you will have a 324 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 3: good time, Like you will feel better afterwards. You will 325 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 3: get that mood boost that extroverts feel. You just won't 326 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 3: realize it, you know, beforehand. 327 00:16:59,200 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 328 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, one of my biggest tips I'm always sharing 329 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: with people is to take one night for you. And 330 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: I always sort of explain this as like, well, people 331 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 1: need something in their lives besides work and caring for 332 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:15,200 Speaker 1: family members. But you know, I'm always saying we'll make 333 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,680 Speaker 1: it as a commitment because you know, otherwise it won't 334 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: rise up the hierarchy. Like your boss wants you to 335 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 1: stay late, you don't be like, yeah, I have time 336 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 1: with my bathtub tonight, you know, like you're not gonna 337 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 1: say that, you'd be like, but if you have this 338 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: improv class that you literally cannot miss, like you have 339 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: a reason to push back. Or if you know your 340 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: kid wants you to drive them to the mall, there's 341 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: a reason. 342 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 2: To push back. 343 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: And so but the reason it is also making a commitment. 344 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: Then you go and you get the benefit of it. 345 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,400 Speaker 1: And so it sounds like that's what you discovered as. 346 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 2: Well, exactly. 347 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well let's take one more quick ad 348 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 1: break and I will be back with more from Olga. 349 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 1: Well we are back. I am talking with Olga Haza, 350 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 1: who is the author of the brand new book Me 351 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 1: But Better about the science of personality Change. So are 352 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: you actually doing anything different in your day to day 353 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: life now? Olga, as, there is a result of writing 354 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,680 Speaker 1: this book, but I know other things have changed too 355 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: since you wrote. I mean, you had a kid, for instance, 356 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 1: that probably had a bigger change on your day to 357 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 1: day life than anything you did. 358 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I did have a baby, so I am 359 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,639 Speaker 3: not meditating for forty five minutes a day anymore, unless 360 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 3: you count watching the baby like try to eat garbage, 361 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 3: which he really loves to do, and that can be 362 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 3: kind of meditative because you're like closing the garbage can. 363 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 3: He's opening the garbage can, you're closing it. Anyway, there's 364 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,440 Speaker 3: like a Buddhist lesson in there, I'm sure. But one 365 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 3: thing I had I do do is that I really 366 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,400 Speaker 3: have made it a point to reach out to other 367 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 3: moms and try to connect with other moms, even if 368 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 3: it's just like a short playdate or like a short 369 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 3: honestly like get together, or just like coffee or whatever else. 370 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 3: And that is really something that's different from before I 371 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 3: started this project. I really like, I really try to 372 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 3: do something like that at least once a week, because 373 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,399 Speaker 3: I found that it is like more restorative for me 374 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 3: to have some social interaction, some kind of shared experience 375 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 3: with someone else. It is even when I'm really tired, 376 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 3: it feels better to do that than it does just 377 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:28,400 Speaker 3: to like sit by myself and like watch TV. And 378 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,879 Speaker 3: I think that has really been a huge change. I 379 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 3: just realized that I do I do kind of need 380 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,200 Speaker 3: some social interaction like, I'm not one hundred percent introverted, 381 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,880 Speaker 3: you know, I'm like maybe thirty percent or forty percent 382 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,360 Speaker 3: or something like that. But yeah, so that's that's something 383 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 3: that I do now that I've sort of kept up. 384 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 3: I would say from this project excellent. 385 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 1: Well, we always like to talk with people about their 386 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 1: daily routines on this podcast. 387 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 2: I'm wondering if you have any. 388 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 1: I mean, it could be a morning routine, although I 389 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 1: know that sometimes when people have very young children, morning 390 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: routines is a bit of a you know, the baby 391 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: wakes up, that is the morning routine. But I'm curious 392 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: if you have any daily routines that help you get 393 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:09,880 Speaker 1: things done in your life. 394 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, well so yeah, my days kind of like go, 395 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 3: go go from the minute the baby wakes up. You know. 396 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,240 Speaker 3: I would say, my my, I have like a good 397 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 3: wind down routine at the end of the day that 398 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 3: I that I think is helpful. So we put him 399 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 3: to bed around seven thirty or eight, and then I 400 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 3: actually work out every day. I find that it is 401 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:35,200 Speaker 3: like a really good stress reliever and a great break 402 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 3: from like sitting or like holding a baby or like 403 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 3: doing stuff that is not like that beneficial for your body. 404 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 3: So I work out, I have like you know, like 405 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 3: whatever fifteen minutes to talk to my husband, and I've 406 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 3: actually started reading more novels. I I like usually have 407 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 3: a novel that I'm working through, and it's something that 408 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 3: I've kind of picked up since the baby was born. Weirdly, 409 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 3: I just like need an escape. That's not like you 410 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,120 Speaker 3: kind of said, like you can't just work and take 411 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,760 Speaker 3: care of your kids all the time. I kind of 412 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 3: just need that like a mental escape that is also 413 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 3: still stimulating and not TV. So yeah, So that's kind 414 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 3: of what I do in the evenings, is I in 415 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,160 Speaker 3: my like whatever ninety minutes of free time, I work 416 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 3: out and then I read. 417 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 1: Well, that's fascinating that you work out in the evening 418 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 1: because this actually is a time that could work for 419 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 1: a lot of people, you know, after they get their 420 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 1: kids to bed and it's time most people are just 421 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,919 Speaker 1: watching TV or scrolling around online. I think a lot 422 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: of people are concerned about not having enough energy or 423 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,199 Speaker 1: that it would keep them awake. I'm curious what you 424 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,600 Speaker 1: do that and you've found that's not the case. 425 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:46,520 Speaker 2: So it doesn't. 426 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,399 Speaker 3: I've always been an evening exerciser, weirdly, and it doesn't 427 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 3: actually keep me awake. I don't know why. I think 428 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 3: I have a different chronotype than most other people, possibly 429 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 3: for a different show, but I am like really an 430 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,679 Speaker 3: evening per and not a morning person. So yeah, so 431 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,520 Speaker 3: it doesn't keep me awake. In fact, I think it 432 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 3: helps me sleep sometimes. But but I do I'll do 433 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,919 Speaker 3: like a hot yoga class, or I will do the 434 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 3: elliptical machine. We have an elliptical in our house, which 435 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,399 Speaker 3: I know is a privilege, but that is it's just 436 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:21,720 Speaker 3: my my thing. I don't know. 437 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's certainly possible. I mean, you know, many 438 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: people could find a used one on Craigslist. I am 439 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,399 Speaker 1: sure there's a lot of people who just thought they 440 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,439 Speaker 1: would exercise and then don't. Do you actually go to 441 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,639 Speaker 1: a hot yoga class than somewhere I assume. 442 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. 443 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 3: I do go to a like but not every day, 444 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 3: like that's my once a week for me thing. 445 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 2: Yeah no, that's a great idea too. 446 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,640 Speaker 1: I mean because again, the kid is down exactly, so 447 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,679 Speaker 1: like it's it's no real demand on anyone else that 448 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,880 Speaker 1: you go as long as somebody else's home. So yeah, 449 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: that's that's awesome. I love that you have that daily routine. 450 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: I always like to ask people as well, what is 451 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,639 Speaker 1: something you have done recently to take a day from 452 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,640 Speaker 1: great to awesome? So something that you've into your life 453 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 1: that's made it a little bit better. 454 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 2: Ooh, from great to awesome? Okay. 455 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:15,400 Speaker 3: I bought disposable smoothie cups, like like they're paper cups 456 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 3: that are for smoothies. They have like a lid that 457 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,640 Speaker 3: estraw goes into, so my kid can't reach his little 458 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 3: hand in and like try to grab it while I'm 459 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 3: drinking it. And it just makes the morning so much 460 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,720 Speaker 3: better because I can like throw a bunch of stuff 461 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 3: in the blender make a smoothie. He likes to watch 462 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 3: the blender go we you know, I pour it into 463 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 3: the smoothie cup. I drink my smoothie while I'm chasing 464 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 3: him around as he tries to eat garbage. He sometimes 465 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,119 Speaker 3: drinks a little bit of the smoothie too, and it 466 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,159 Speaker 3: just like makes the morning go a lot easier if 467 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 3: I'm not like trying to eat a bowl of cereal 468 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 3: while he's like being himself. So I don't know, I 469 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 3: just have my little smoothie and then I just throw 470 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 3: the cup away at the end. I know this is 471 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 3: that's wasteful, but like whatever, in this time, this is 472 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 3: what I need, is what you And I got to 473 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 3: have my smoothe cup and I throw it away and 474 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 3: then there's no dishes. 475 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great, beautiful, beautiful. 476 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 1: Sounds like you also need to put him in front 477 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,920 Speaker 1: of the washing machine or the dryer for entertainment. 478 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 3: Anything that is like not a toy. He's like, I 479 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,440 Speaker 3: love this, I love this. 480 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 1: This is of course of course that's what that's what 481 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 1: they do at that age. 482 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. So what are you looking forward to right now? 483 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 3: Ooh, after my book stuff winds down a little bit, 484 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 3: we are going to take a family vacation. Uh, and 485 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 3: I'm going to take a week off and I'm gonna 486 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 3: read a book and I'm gonna have my parents watch 487 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,160 Speaker 3: my baby. 488 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 2: Awesome. 489 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, even better have the relaxing vacation. They can they 490 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:42,400 Speaker 1: can keep him out of the garbage care. 491 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,119 Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. So, Olga, where can people find you? Yeah? 492 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 3: So I'm a writer for the Atlantic dot com. Just 493 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 3: the Atlantic dot com into your U r L into 494 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 3: your browser. And I also have a substack Olga Hazon 495 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 3: dot substack dot com. And the book is me but 496 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 3: better and it's wherever books are sold. 497 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: Awesome, well, Olga, thank you so much for joining us. 498 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 1: Thank you everyone for listening. If you have feedback about 499 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,919 Speaker 1: this or any other episode, you can always reach me 500 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 1: at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. In the meantime, 501 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 502 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. 503 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 1: If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach 504 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 1: me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast 505 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:44,640 Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, 506 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 1: please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 507 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.