1 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Marcowitz Show. 2 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 2: I saw this reel the other day, The count is 3 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 2: at the Meadows, fam Let's play it. 4 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 3: I just saw something that was like, imagine being a 5 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 3: man and you ask for toothpaste and then the next 6 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,760 Speaker 3: day it's just magically there. But then I was thinking, 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 3: I'm like, well, imagine being a woman and every month 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 3: our bills are just paid magically, like people ask me 9 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 3: and I'm like, I don't even know how much that was, 10 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 3: Like my husband paid it. Or imagine being a woman 11 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,160 Speaker 3: and it snows like super hard, and then you wake 12 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 3: up in the morning and your driveway it's just magically shoveled. 13 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 3: Or oh, a gaslight comes into my car and next 14 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 3: day it's just magically filmed. I love being women, and 15 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 3: I don't think we give enough credit to our mans. 16 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 2: So this is something I've said for so long. I 17 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 2: don't understand how so many couples seemingly don't have a 18 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 2: division of labor. Yes, when my husband needs toothpaste, it 19 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 2: magically appears, and I'll be real with you, he almost 20 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: never needs to ask me for it because that is 21 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 2: just something I get done in our family. 22 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: I like to take care of him. 23 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,479 Speaker 2: I like to notice when he needs something and then 24 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 2: get it for him. He likes to do the same 25 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 2: thing for me. But the complaint often is is that 26 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 2: husbands don't do the same for wives, and I find 27 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 2: that just crazy. The buzzword of the moment is mental load. 28 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 2: Like women take on a larger mental. 29 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: Load than men. 30 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 2: We have to think about all the things, and we're 31 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 2: constantly keeping track of everything. And it's not enough that 32 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 2: men will do stuff when asked. They should be looking 33 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 2: around and doing stuff on their own, which yes they should, 34 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 2: but when you have a clearer division of labor, this 35 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,919 Speaker 2: becomes less of an issue. Like the woman in the video, 36 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 2: my husband handles most of our bills for some reason. 37 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 2: I do stuff like pay our pool guy or when 38 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 2: we've had babysitters. That's in my column. I think I've 39 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 2: only just this moment realized that I pay anyone who 40 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: uses Venmo, and he pays all the cash check and 41 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:08,959 Speaker 2: credit card using people. 42 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 3: So. 43 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 2: There was another video recently of the football playing Kelsey Brothers, 44 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 2: and Jason Kelsey was wearing shorts on a red carpet 45 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 2: because his wife was running late with his jeans. The 46 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 2: unmarried brother Travis Kelcey, the one that's dating Taylor Swift 47 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 2: mocked him for it. 48 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 4: Let's roll the clip, Let's move on. Is them Kelsey Premiere? 49 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 3: Hey? 50 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 5: How was it? 51 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 4: Brother? 52 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 5: It was actually pretty cool? Really enjoyed it. We had 53 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 5: a picture you on the green carpet, not the red carpet. 54 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 2: You really got dressed up. 55 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 5: I was going to have jeans on, but Kylie, Kylie what? 56 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 5: Kylie was running late? I just came straight from football. 57 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 5: Kylie was going to bring the jeans. Kylie was late. 58 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 5: Why didn't Jason bring jeans for Jason? Because I was 59 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 5: at football and I needed the jeans. 60 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 2: For after football. 61 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 5: And I'm not going to wear jeans all day. That's 62 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 5: just not done. Some fun. And I'm realizing now I 63 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 5: probably can't blame Kylie for this anyway. Oh yeah, I 64 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 5: wore shorts and sans. He was too busy putting jeans 65 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 5: on the three girls. 66 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 2: Yes, she was too. 67 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 5: Busy getting the entire family situated with the babysitter and 68 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 5: then getting herself ready and making sure our parents are 69 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 5: with her. 70 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 4: Just see you pull it up. 71 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 6: You don't have my jeans. 72 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 5: I'm gonna look like an idiot. Gosh, so true. So true. 73 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 2: Women online swooned over Travis understanding that Kylie's mental load 74 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 2: was already heavy. My take is that this is breakdown 75 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 2: responsibilities that is working for this couple. Could she have said, hey, Jason, 76 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 2: bring your own jeans, and I'm sure he would have 77 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 2: been fine with that, But maybe bringing his genes after 78 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 2: the game is in her department, and I bet she's 79 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 2: completely okay with that. If my mental load is larger 80 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 2: than my husband's, and I admit that it almost definitely is, 81 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 2: it's because I choose to think about a lot of 82 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 2: different things that don't necessarily need to be thought about, 83 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 2: you know, as intensely as I do. I'm currently thinking 84 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 2: about a trip we might take next December. It's January. 85 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: So does that trip need to take up space in 86 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 2: my brain? 87 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: Now? It doesn't. 88 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 2: But I like getting things done. I like daydreaming about trips. 89 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 2: I like thinking about things that we're going to do. 90 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 2: I like planning ahead for my kids. I enjoy all 91 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 2: of that, and if I didn't enjoy it. 92 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it. 93 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 2: My friend, the writer Kyle Smith, who has been on 94 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 2: this show, once wrote something like, it's not how does 95 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 2: she do it, it's why does she do it? You know, 96 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 2: to the idea of like, how does she do it? 97 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: The woman who's doing it? 98 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 2: All women tend to have higher standards than men about 99 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 2: a lot of things, so it does often feel like 100 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 2: we're increasing our own mental load. That's not a husband problem, 101 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 2: that's an us problem. I know, it's a me problem. 102 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,719 Speaker 2: I know that I think about too many things and 103 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 2: put too many things on my plate and just enjoy 104 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 2: the process of thinking over a lot of different things 105 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 2: and what I need to do. But anyway, before you 106 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 2: get married, have some conversations about expectations. Some couples will 107 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 2: fall into a comfortable routine where the breakdown of who 108 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 2: does what is obvious. Other couples will struggle with this, 109 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 2: and it will lead to resentment and women complaining about 110 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 2: their mental load to their friends. Communication is the answer 111 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 2: to so many problems, and talking about what you expect 112 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 2: to have to handle and what your spouse will have 113 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 2: to handle will lead to an easier relationship and a 114 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:45,840 Speaker 2: happier marriage. Coming up next, Dana lash Hi and welcome 115 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 2: back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My guest 116 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 2: today is nationally syndicated radio host, author, and second Amendment 117 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,799 Speaker 2: advocate Dana lash Hi. Dana, thanks so much for coming on. 118 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 4: Hey Carol, thanks for having me well. 119 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 2: As my listeners know, this is a largely non political show, 120 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 2: but I have to start off with something somewhat political today. 121 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 2: I need to say thank you to you, Dana, for 122 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 2: all of your support for Israel and for American Jews. 123 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 2: In the last few months. It's really been a dark time. 124 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 2: I try not to carry it over into the rest 125 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 2: of my life too much, but it's been tough, and 126 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 2: you have made a bad time better. So I have 127 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 2: to say thank you. 128 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 4: Well, thank you. I'm so I'm happy to hear that 129 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 4: it helped. 130 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 6: And I can't I just can't stand to see cruelty, 131 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 6: and I can't stand to see the way that the 132 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 6: way that it's been discussed nationally, the way it's been 133 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 6: discussed internationally, and the way that you and so many 134 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 6: others have been treated. I have so many friends who 135 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 6: are Jewish, and I have some people married in my 136 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 6: family who are even Jewish, and I just I get 137 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 6: so angry when I see just that kind of that 138 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 6: purposeful injustice, like a design, purposeful, malicious intent injustice. And 139 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,919 Speaker 6: so I'm happy that it helps someonet me and my 140 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 6: big giant mouth. 141 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 2: You've been just fantastic, and it's yeah, I feel like 142 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 2: that so many people have been you know, questionable, and 143 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 2: you've been steadfast and amazing, and I just appreciate. 144 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 1: You so much. 145 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 2: And I have to tell you that, you know, your 146 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 2: name just gets mentioned a lot among like people who 147 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 2: have been fantastic and that we really appreciate. 148 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 4: So I appreciate you. Thank you. It's your appreciation of it. 149 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: So I've been a big fan of yours for a 150 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:30,559 Speaker 1: long time. 151 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 2: We only met for the first time last year, and 152 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 2: I think, I mean not to you know, not to. 153 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 4: Go weird, but I've known you so much longer. 154 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 2: I was going to say, I think it was an 155 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 2: instant connection. And I have to say that when I 156 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 2: bought my first gun this year last year now twenty 157 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 2: twenty three, and then when I bought my second gun 158 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 2: last year, I absolutely thought of you, like what do 159 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 2: you how do you feel being thought of as like, 160 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 2: you know, the gun girl. 161 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 4: I you know, I love it. 162 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 6: Actually, I have people who who work in politics and 163 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 6: people who are I know that are consultants, and they 164 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 6: always say, well, you don't want to be you want 165 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 6: to be careful not to get pigeonholed with something which 166 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 6: I thought was really weird to say to me or 167 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 6: to anybody else, because it's a right. I don't care 168 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 6: if I'm pigeonholed for supporting your light. I would I 169 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 6: would love. I love the fact that you know that 170 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 6: I'm thought of when people think of exercising your rights 171 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 6: and self defense, and that means that I've done something right. 172 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 6: It means that I've been effective, and I'm just I'm 173 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 6: happy to see it because it means that, you know, 174 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 6: some of the hard things that I've been through my 175 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,839 Speaker 6: life were worth it because other people feel empowered and 176 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 6: confident and they feel free to go out and do 177 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,719 Speaker 6: what they need to do to protect themselves and their 178 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 6: families and enjoyed and be public about it. And so 179 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 6: I that brings me a lot of just pure joy 180 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:48,199 Speaker 6: knowing that. 181 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 4: So I love it. 182 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: That's yeah. I mean this was the year. 183 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 2: Last year again was the year that I took it from. 184 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 2: I've always been a Second Amendment advocate. I always supported 185 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 2: the Second Amendment. I just never actually we exercise that right. 186 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 2: So it really was kind of a big step for 187 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 2: me to go from just philosophically supporting gun rights to 188 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 2: you know, owning guns at home myself, and you really 189 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 2: were such an inspiration with that. But yeah, I think 190 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 2: that that's, you know, the right way to think about it. 191 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 2: You're supporting a right, and why should you, you know 192 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 2: not why shouldn't you focus on that? Why should it 193 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,679 Speaker 2: be something that isn't you know, part of what you 194 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 2: speak out on. 195 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: And I quite like. 196 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 6: That, Yeah, especially when it's I mean it's so germane 197 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 6: to everything that's happening right now, particularly with crime rates, 198 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 6: and then I mean just you know, good heavens, you know, 199 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 6: attacks against Jewish Americans and the stuff that we've seen 200 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 6: as of late. I mean, we just saw people blocking 201 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 6: highways and all of that stuff. And we had the 202 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 6: what is it two years now of the BLM riots 203 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 6: and everything else, and we have these activist prosecutors and 204 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 6: people who are just lawless that are encouraged to continue 205 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 6: to be lawless because of this quote unquote restorative justice. 206 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,559 Speaker 6: So people see that, and it's no wonder that they 207 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 6: want to feel secure. It's crazy that it's you know, 208 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 6: here in twenty twenty four, we would have to convince 209 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 6: anyone in the United States of America to just, you know, 210 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 6: make sure that you're secure and that your family's secure. 211 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 6: And by the way, you have the right to do 212 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 6: that and the freedom to do that every I mean, 213 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,559 Speaker 6: that should be something that's intrinsically known, not something that 214 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 6: people have to be persuaded over. So I yeah, I 215 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 6: completely agree with you on that, and I think it's 216 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 6: I think there's going to be more and more people 217 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 6: that are sort of led to that and see that especially, 218 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 6: I mean, depending on how everything happens after November. 219 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,679 Speaker 2: Absolutely, do you get recognized a lot, like. 220 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: Do you live a very public life? 221 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 3: Not? 222 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 4: I mean I'm so not. 223 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 6: I yes, and no, I mean I've never there's I 224 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 6: was thinking about something the other day and it's like 225 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 6: this meme I guess that's online where everyone was taught 226 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:46,839 Speaker 6: to stop drop and roll. 227 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 4: I'm going to bring this tugboat to short It's going 228 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 4: to make sense. 229 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 6: And I thought, I'm going to be on fire a 230 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,400 Speaker 6: lot when I'm an adult, so we really have to 231 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 6: practice the stop drop and roll. And I always thought, 232 00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 6: you know, because that I would be especially after my 233 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,599 Speaker 6: advocacy and stuff to went to a national level. I 234 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 6: guess I always thought that any kind of recognition in 235 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 6: public that I would meet would be hateful. And honestly, 236 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 6: I've never had like a one on one or you know, 237 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 6: even a small group experience in public where anybody has 238 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 6: been hateful. I've everybody's been very kind. And you know, 239 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 6: what happens every now and again, especially in Texas, and 240 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,320 Speaker 6: I live in a very very conservative area, so it 241 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 6: happens probably more here than it would anywhere else. But 242 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 6: everybody's been really cool, and it you know what happens. 243 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 6: People are usually just you know, oh thanks, you know, 244 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 6: whether it's for the town hall or the worker making, 245 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 6: you know, talking about a policy or explaining a legislative proposal, 246 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:41,679 Speaker 6: people are just. 247 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 4: You know, they're like, oh, thank you. 248 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 6: And I mean it's you know, it's not why I 249 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 6: do it, but it's you know, it's it's nice and 250 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 6: and it makes sometimes when you know you're in the 251 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 6: fight and you're in the thick of it, it's those 252 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 6: things that you kind of reflect on that that sort 253 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 6: of you know, light the way forward a little bit. 254 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 4: So it's nice. 255 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 3: Right. 256 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 2: So when we first met this last year, also the 257 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,439 Speaker 2: first time that I met your husband, and I think 258 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 2: you guys are just such a adorable couple, and you're 259 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 2: you seem like very well. 260 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 1: Suited and just, oh my god, have it going on? 261 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 1: How long are you guys together? 262 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 6: Twenty three years. We've been married for twenty three years. 263 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 6: We actually got engaged after knowing each other for three months. 264 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: Wow. 265 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:22,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a. 266 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 6: Little crazy, and our family was, like his family was 267 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 6: very excited. He's almost eight years older than I am, 268 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 6: and I've always been kind of an old soul, but 269 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 6: I also was, you know, when I was growing up, 270 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 6: I was a little bit different from the way I 271 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 6: am now with some of. 272 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 4: My ideological outlooks. 273 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 6: But I'd only been raised one particular way by one 274 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 6: typical type of people, and so I had no views 275 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 6: on women and marriage and everything else. But you know, 276 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 6: God love him because he is honestly the only man 277 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 6: who could put up with me all over the place 278 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 6: all the time. I can't sit still. I always have 279 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 6: to be doing something. I am not the person who 280 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 6: just find is it easy to relax, Like if I 281 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 6: have time off or if I'm on vacation, I still 282 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 6: find the need to do stuff. I mean, I started 283 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 6: to crochet during lockdown because I could not stand to 284 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 6: sit still for so long. 285 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 4: Wow, that wasn't enough. I'm like, I'm going to learn. 286 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 6: How to needle point because I clearly need more things 287 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 6: to do. I just I love being busy, and I 288 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 6: think that would aggravate the living will out of most people. 289 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 4: And he just rolls with it. 290 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 6: He just is like whatever, she's doing her thing, and 291 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 6: he's got love him. He's the only person. He was 292 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 6: made for me. He was absolutely made for me. 293 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: So what views of yours on women have changed? 294 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh, well, I mean naturally. 295 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 6: Growing up being in the family of Southern Democrats in 296 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 6: southern Missouri, I was raised to be a Democrat like 297 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 6: everybody else in my family, I didn't even meet I 298 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 6: did not meet a Republican hands to guy until college. 299 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 6: I did not meet a Republican until I was a 300 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 6: freshman in college. It was the first time I ever 301 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 6: met anyone who's a Republican, anybody who was. 302 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 4: Not like me. 303 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 6: All my family were very far left, and they mostly 304 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 6: still are. They're very far left. And I just thought, well, 305 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 6: I'm a feminist, naturally, because that's everything that I've been told. 306 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 6: I didn't even know the difference between first, second and 307 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 6: third wave. I was just told feminist and I'm like, okay, yeah, 308 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 6: I am one. And then you know, growing up and 309 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 6: you're watching MTV and VH one and everything else, it's 310 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 6: like just shoved in your face. And that's my generation. 311 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 6: I'm kind of on the younger end of Gen X. 312 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 6: That's everything that we consume. Music, you know, MTV when 313 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 6: back when they played music videos, that's all we had, 314 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 6: and pop culture, movies, entertainment, everything that was the narrative 315 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 6: that was shoved in your face. If you're a young woman, 316 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 6: this is how you identify. And so I just adopted 317 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 6: it because I didn't know anything better. And then the 318 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 6: older I got, the more open minded I became. And 319 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 6: my family said that I went to the big city 320 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 6: and got brainwashed, which I thought was funny. 321 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 4: Funny that happens in reverse, right, I have other way. 322 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 6: So I ended up disagreeing with a lot of positions 323 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 6: that I had inherited and thought were my own and 324 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,359 Speaker 6: weren't actually my own. And then when I began questioning, 325 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 6: you know, the inherited positions, that was not good. And 326 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 6: so now here we are. But yeah, that's that's changed 327 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 6: a lot. That was one of the biggest ones that changed. 328 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 2: We're going to take a quick break and be right 329 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 2: back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. It's interesting you mentioned, 330 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 2: like the MTV era, there was a magazine called Sase. 331 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember this. 332 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 4: It was a yes, I remember that. 333 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love Sassy, Like I would wait at the 334 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 2: newsstand for the day that it would come out. 335 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 1: I didn't know about subscribing. 336 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 2: That was too complicated for me at the store. 337 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 338 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 2: But so it's funny because when I tell people that I, oh, 339 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 2: I read Sassy, they were like, oh, and how did 340 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: you end up conservative? 341 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: Like that was such a liberal. 342 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 2: Magazine And I was like, that magazine was very much 343 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 2: like be who you are, believe what you want, you know. 344 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 2: It just it's very different than what alternative kind of 345 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 2: magazines would be like today, which I think would push 346 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 2: a very leftist perspective. But back then, it was like 347 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 2: be yourself was the coolest, you know, way to be 348 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 2: and myself was conservative, so I I you know, even 349 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 2: when MTV was like, you know, rocking the vote, I 350 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,160 Speaker 2: was like, I will rock the vote. I will vote 351 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 2: for you know, Charge bush Well. 352 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 6: And I'm so glad that you brought that up because 353 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 6: back then and I remember that was like their whole, 354 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 6: their whole vibe. And and with MTV back then even 355 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 6: I mean, my gosh, Kennedy, who I know, I think 356 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 6: we both know. When she was a v D show 357 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 6: Republican Quail supporter, I didn't know anybody under fifty who 358 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,880 Speaker 6: liked Jale and I was the younger woman on television 359 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 6: who liked Dan Quayle and I and I'm like, that's 360 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 6: I had not had that in any type of representation. 361 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 6: But it was cool to have weird Republican friends, right. 362 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 6: That was part of the whole alternative thing, like you, oh, yeah, 363 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 6: you can have It was like almost cool to have 364 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 6: a weird Republican friend, right, yeah, this is my Republican friend. 365 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 6: And just I don't know, like there was some sort 366 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 6: of something that you got from that, some cred that 367 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 6: you got from that. 368 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 4: Now it's like, oh God, you have a friend who's 369 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,240 Speaker 4: a Republican. That's a betrayal, right. 370 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 2: I mean if you had like a mainstream famous friend, 371 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 2: like they would have to keep you hidden, Like I mean, 372 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,199 Speaker 2: I know that that's the case. I mean, I you know, 373 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,879 Speaker 2: somebody like a culture for example, has told me, you 374 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 2: know about kind of mainstream famous people that she's friends 375 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 2: with who they cannot be openly friends, and it's you know, 376 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 2: it's no longer cool to know people or be friends 377 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 2: of people who have different perspectives. It's become you know, 378 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 2: you have to walk that very thin line and you 379 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 2: have to stay with the group at all times. 380 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: It's kind of sad. 381 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,640 Speaker 2: I feel like we had a nice time in our 382 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 2: youth where it was okay to be different, and now 383 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 2: it's very much not. 384 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 4: That was the true counter culture and now it's all boring. 385 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 6: Now it's so boring, and conversations are boring, and that 386 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,920 Speaker 6: makes everything that we talk about boring, and entertainment bore 387 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 6: because there isn't a contrast of ideas. I mean, there's 388 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 6: there aren't even any actual debate shows anymore. One of 389 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 6: my favorite shows ever was Tough Crowd. 390 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,880 Speaker 4: With Colin Quinn. I loved that show. 391 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 6: Colin Quinn was hysterical and he would have people on 392 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 6: that show that were infuriatingly wrong, but they were hysterical 393 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 6: and they all got along afterwards because nobody took it personally. 394 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 6: Everyone's like, oh, we disagreed and we're going to bust 395 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:14,640 Speaker 6: up and now we're all good. 396 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 3: Hi. 397 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 6: That was yeah, We're right. We had it so good. 398 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 6: The younger generations won't even know what they missed. 399 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 4: It's so sad we did. 400 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's definitely true. So you have this great marriage, 401 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 2: you have an outstanding radio show, super popular, best selling books. 402 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: Do you feel like you've made it? 403 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 6: I actually judge whether or not I've made it by 404 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 6: whether or not I lived. 405 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 4: Up to what I wrote in my senior high school 406 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,199 Speaker 4: memory book. And I don't love that. 407 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 6: Everybody had, like the scrap books everybody signs in. The 408 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 6: girl's books were like you couldn't even close them, and 409 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 6: the boys they didn't even open them. They just wouldn't 410 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 6: want a package for their senior package, and they never 411 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 6: did anything with them. But in mine, I wanted to 412 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 6: work in I wanted to be an author, and I 413 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,160 Speaker 6: wanted to drive a jeep, and I wanted to live 414 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 6: in the mountains in Colorado, and I wanted to be 415 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 6: married and have kids. That's what I wanted, I listed, 416 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,960 Speaker 6: so I ended up at one point I had a jeep. 417 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,720 Speaker 6: I couldn't live in the mountains because I get altitude sickness, 418 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 6: but I do go over there, which was really sad. 419 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,719 Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I guess I got to check 420 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,200 Speaker 4: that off my book. But that's how I can. 421 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,879 Speaker 6: You know, I'm married and have kids, and I feel 422 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,919 Speaker 6: like that is how I made it. I feel like 423 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 6: I accomplished those things and I feel content. I mean, 424 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 6: I do feel content with what I do. I'm not 425 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 6: in need of really, I don't really need to do 426 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 6: anything more. It's just driven by my absolute inability to 427 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 6: just not do anything. 428 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 4: And I love what I do. 429 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 6: I love, you know, talking to people like you and 430 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 6: your awesome podcast and your cool audience, and you know, 431 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,919 Speaker 6: I love reading your stuff. 432 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 4: By the way, Carol's you know, she's ad ass and 433 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 4: around right. 434 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 6: I love I love doing it, and I think that 435 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 6: is that is I love what I do. So I 436 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,919 Speaker 6: feel like because of that alone, I feel, Yeah, I do, 437 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 6: I do. I feel completely content, and that's how I 438 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 6: measure it. 439 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 1: It's so good. 440 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 4: I love that. 441 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 2: What would you say is our biggest cultural or societal 442 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:09,360 Speaker 2: problem in America? 443 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 1: And do you think it's solvable? 444 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:12,400 Speaker 4: I do? 445 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 6: But whether or not I do think it's solvable. I 446 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 6: don't think it's a question of whether or not it 447 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 6: can be solved. I think it's a question of whether 448 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,880 Speaker 6: or not people have the will to solve it, whether 449 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 6: or not they have. 450 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 4: The interest to solve it. 451 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 6: And there's so many I think there's so many things 452 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 6: wrong with our society. But I think the first thing 453 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,360 Speaker 6: is that people are focused too much on self and 454 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 6: not and not focused on other not focused on others, 455 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 6: I think everyone and you know, I get it. It's 456 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 6: like a doggy dog world and it's just like everything 457 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 6: that we're in an influencer society where literally everyone's a brand, 458 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 6: which sounds just like a walking nightmare, but that's, you know, 459 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 6: the society in which we live and you're being sold 460 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,439 Speaker 6: something all the time. Twenty four to seven, I remember 461 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 6: we used to joke just like looking on Instagram and 462 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 6: seeing pictures of people's sandwiches and we all thought that 463 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,879 Speaker 6: was going long for those days, like bring. 464 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,959 Speaker 2: Back not sandwiches. 465 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that. That was when it was so innocent. 466 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 4: But everyone is so self naval gazing. 467 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 6: I think that we're not seeing the bigger picture of 468 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 6: what's happening everywhere else. We're focused on what's happening in 469 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 6: our lives and in our only in our communities, which 470 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 6: I think that you have to appreciate the relationship that 471 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 6: it has with the whole. We're focused on just one 472 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 6: party or just one political idea or just won this 473 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 6: or one that, And I think that's a that's a 474 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 6: huge problem because when you get self out of the 475 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 6: way and you put others first, that really dramatically changes society. 476 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 6: But that's not at all what society right now is 477 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 6: constructed to encourage down marketing, to entertainment, to everything. So 478 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,720 Speaker 6: I think just at its most basic level, I think, 479 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 6: you know, self, too much focus on self is really 480 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,160 Speaker 6: kind of what's one of the biggest the biggest problems. 481 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,880 Speaker 4: And everybody needs God, that's the other. 482 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 6: But it is an issue of willpower because I think 483 00:21:56,160 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 6: there's just too much incentive to change or to not change. 484 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 1: Rather, so how do we how do we overcome it? 485 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: What do you think? 486 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's very hard to get the people 487 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,120 Speaker 2: to no longer see themselves as a brand. I mean, 488 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 2: it's funny because you know, we're public people. I think, like, 489 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 2: you know, just living living our lives the way we do, 490 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 2: there's some consideration for you know, I hate to think 491 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:19,920 Speaker 2: of myself as a brand. 492 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,440 Speaker 1: I hate that kind of thinking at all. 493 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 2: But I see people who like have you know, one 494 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 2: hundred fifty followers on Instagram treat themselves like a brand 495 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 2: and get I get that they want to grow and 496 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 2: et cetera. But it's just why would you go that 497 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 2: path if you didn't have to, Like I feel like 498 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 2: if I didn't need to be on social media for 499 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 2: my job, I don't know that I would do it. 500 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 6: Yeah. Well, I can't stand being on Instagram. I love 501 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 6: looking at other. 502 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 2: People say it's sort of my favorite one. 503 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 6: I hate it and I don't even enjoy well x 504 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 6: I guess I mean I enjoy it because I get 505 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 6: a lot of my news from that or. 506 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 4: Really, I don't know. I just I don't. I just 507 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:57,439 Speaker 4: don't know. 508 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 6: I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or 509 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 6: what it is. But I think my consumption is changing 510 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,200 Speaker 6: where I'm not going to want to consume any of it, right. 511 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 1: But that's what I mean. That's what I mean. 512 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 2: I think that if I didn't have to be on 513 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 2: But Twitter was definitely my most love hate. Like when 514 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 2: I when I need an Internet break, like I take 515 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 2: Twitter off my phone. 516 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,679 Speaker 1: It's because because I can't control myself. 517 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 4: I'm constantly off your phone. 518 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,640 Speaker 2: Oh I when I especially when I go on vacation. 519 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,399 Speaker 2: It's now standard where I take it off my phone 520 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 2: and I have to tell you how many times I 521 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 2: click the empty space, like just automatically, like click where 522 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 2: the app used to be. 523 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,439 Speaker 4: It's really I've never done that. 524 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 2: No, you have some times you have to like disconnect 525 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 2: and really like not not get the news. Like I 526 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 2: was off in December and I basically missed the Nikki 527 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 2: Haley slavery story. It was just coming back to it 528 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 2: what Nick Haley thinks slavery wasn't part of the Civil War. 529 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,239 Speaker 2: Like I was like, you know what, I don't even 530 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 2: I'm not even going to catch up on it. Like 531 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,120 Speaker 2: it's it's it's over, whatever it was, it's done now. 532 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 4: Yeah. No, I agree with you. I I mean, to 533 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:04,680 Speaker 4: your to your question. 534 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 6: I think the biggest issue, I mean really is you know, 535 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 6: people not putting others first and and putting themselves first 536 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,200 Speaker 6: and being so hyper focused on themselves. 537 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 4: And it is so reflected digitally. 538 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,600 Speaker 6: It is so reflected with especially the way our kids 539 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,959 Speaker 6: are influenced and all of the you know, the social 540 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,879 Speaker 6: media appetites that the youth has. 541 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,120 Speaker 4: It just feels like. 542 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 6: There's a huge set of problems that that the youth 543 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,359 Speaker 6: have nowadays that I don't think would exist were it 544 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:34,160 Speaker 6: not for the oversaturation of social media everything, because you're 545 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 6: in constant comparison. You're comparing yourselves with other people and 546 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,879 Speaker 6: you and and focusing on what everybody else has and 547 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,719 Speaker 6: what everybody else is doing as a way of, you know, 548 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,640 Speaker 6: trying to promote yourself and push yourself and and and 549 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 6: and it drives in security. I think it drives a 550 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,719 Speaker 6: lot of stuff. I don't I could talk about this 551 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,199 Speaker 6: a million different routes forever on it. 552 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,119 Speaker 4: There's so many different things that are related to it. 553 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,640 Speaker 6: But ultimately, you know, the biggest problem I think is 554 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 6: is just people being self centered, selfish and self centered 555 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 6: and not focusing on others first. And I think everyting, no, 556 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 6: I mean nobody, not even myself, are are completely innocent people. 557 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,840 Speaker 6: We are all sure, we are all culpable in this 558 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,159 Speaker 6: to some extent, some you know more than others, but 559 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 6: you know, by and large we're all guilty of it. 560 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 4: And I just it does take. It takes. 561 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 6: It takes a choice, a purposeful choice and will to 562 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 6: actively put others first. And that goes into even saying, 563 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 6: you know, like what people are like, what you're thinking, 564 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 6: and what I'm thinking that the commentary that I started 565 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,959 Speaker 6: out in when I was I mean, gosh, I've been 566 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 6: doing this since I was in my twenties, and when 567 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 6: I first started in commentary, I've always been kind of 568 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,479 Speaker 6: a loud mouth. And I come by it honest because 569 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,440 Speaker 6: all the women in my family are very similar. 570 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 4: We all are. 571 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 6: But I did not care how it affected and who 572 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 6: it affected. I didn't care how it affected how someone 573 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 6: else might perceide themselves or others. I did not care 574 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 6: about it. And I still facts don't care about feelings. 575 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,800 Speaker 6: Everybody knows that, right. If I wanted to just be mean, 576 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 6: I would just be mean, even if it was just 577 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,480 Speaker 6: a way to prove a point. Yeah, And I took great, 578 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,920 Speaker 6: you know, satisfaction in that. And with age comes wisdom. 579 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:12,439 Speaker 6: And then I look back and I'm like, well, if 580 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 6: this is about persuasion and I'm not persuading people, and 581 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,880 Speaker 6: if what I'm saying is actually turning them away, then 582 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,000 Speaker 6: have I not just become my biggest opponent? Like how 583 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,159 Speaker 6: stupid am I that I'm actually shooting myself rhetorically in 584 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,240 Speaker 6: the foot and I'm driving people away. Now there's a 585 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 6: time and Roadhouse is a great cinematic masterpiece. And there's 586 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,920 Speaker 6: an amazing scene in Roadhouse where Patrick Swayze is saying 587 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 6: there's a time to be nice and there's a time 588 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:38,520 Speaker 6: to not be nice. 589 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,399 Speaker 4: And they have a great exchange there that still holds true. 590 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,640 Speaker 6: But I think that there's a lot of nuance there 591 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 6: being mean or trying to own someone for the sake 592 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 6: of doing it. What is the purpose if you're not 593 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,360 Speaker 6: trying to persuade someone. It's not like you know, we're 594 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,960 Speaker 6: we're not supposed to be in this giant digital fallis 595 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 6: measuring contest. I mean, if you're trying to persuade someone, 596 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 6: that persuade them. But if you're trying to turn them away, 597 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 6: well then aren't you just aiding the people that you're 598 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 6: claiming to oppose and fight against. It doesn't make any sense. 599 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 6: So that is even in the way that we speak 600 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 6: uh to others and about others, I think also plays 601 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:10,239 Speaker 6: into that. 602 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,199 Speaker 4: And you know, I've you know, I've been humbled with 603 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 4: that before. I'm not gonna lie about it. I've been 604 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,640 Speaker 4: humbled by my own words before. Right, they have come 605 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 4: back to bite me. 606 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,119 Speaker 6: And like I said, you know, with with age comes wisdom, 607 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 6: and I definitely see the way and importance of that 608 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 6: of that now and how that goes into you know, 609 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,480 Speaker 6: like I just said, our greatest issue right absolutely. 610 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,399 Speaker 2: I think I mean just the growth that has to 611 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 2: happen where you you know, view things that the way 612 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 2: you used to handle things. Wait, I know, the way 613 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 2: I used to talk on like my blog originally when 614 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,359 Speaker 2: I first started out, I would just be so sarcastic 615 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 2: and kind of. 616 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,959 Speaker 1: You know, biting. That was that was the time. It 617 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: was sort of what. 618 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,200 Speaker 2: Made people popular. But it is cringe ority definitely. 619 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 6: And it's still I mean, and we're still it's not 620 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 6: to say not to be honest, but I think that 621 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 6: there's what is the purpose and always asking, you know, 622 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 6: what is what is the purpose of of you know, 623 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 6: the way that we're messaging stuff, And yeah, it's I mean, 624 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 6: there's it's really hard, especially now because in commentary particularly 625 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 6: just sort of grow up publicly in political punditory in 626 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 6: front of the nation. And that's what a lot of 627 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,680 Speaker 6: us have done, starting from our twenties going out into 628 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 6: our early forties. 629 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 4: That's I mean, that's a long time to be in 630 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,119 Speaker 4: the public eye. 631 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 6: And in right commentary and there's you know, that's you 632 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,159 Speaker 6: can chart the growth. 633 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,400 Speaker 2: It's very interesting, right, Well, I love talking to you. 634 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 1: You're so awesome and smart. 635 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,760 Speaker 2: And here with your best tip for my listeners on 636 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 2: how they can improve their lives. 637 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 6: So I thought about this because you sent us out. 638 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 6: I don't know if I don't like tell people how 639 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 6: the sauceaget make. Yeah, you sent us out, And I thought, 640 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 6: this is actually a really hard question, and I think, honestly, 641 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 6: the biggest thing that I can think of. And I 642 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 6: wrote a whole book about this, and because I was 643 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,560 Speaker 6: going to go with a million different things, and I 644 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 6: ended up coming back to this in your book. 645 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,160 Speaker 1: By the way, what's the book called Grace? 646 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 6: I think I'm a horrible self promoto Grace Canceled and 647 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 6: Grace Cancel was the last book I wrote. And it 648 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 6: dropped literally the week of like right before the country 649 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 6: shut down, which was crazy, so I had everything canceled. 650 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 6: It was it was horrific. Uh, don't write a book 651 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 6: right before lockdowns happened. 652 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 4: Don't have a lot. 653 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 6: But you know, I was thinking of, you know, telling 654 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,640 Speaker 6: people will just you know, be honest with you know 655 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,959 Speaker 6: what you think, and be'n afraid to be honest, and 656 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 6: that's all well and good, but honestly, I think that 657 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 6: people should just have some grace. And it's weird for 658 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,840 Speaker 6: me to say this because I don't want to have it. 659 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 6: I have to talk myself into stop being, you know, 660 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 6: such a be stop it just to be, you know. 661 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 6: But I think have grace because sometimes you know, people 662 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 6: are going to mess up, and nobody's perfect and we 663 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 6: are in an unprecedented time. I think every time is unprecedented, 664 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 6: but especially so now, and we are all just faulty 665 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 6: beings dealing in the best way that we can. So 666 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 6: if somebody is that says something that you don't necessarily 667 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 6: maybe like all the way or you think is you know, 668 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 6: have some grace and have some grace with each other 669 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 6: in meat space, not just digitally. 670 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 4: But I think if everybody had a little. 671 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 6: Bit more grace, which also requires you to sacrifice putting 672 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 6: yourself first, I think that goes a long way into 673 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 6: just everybody kind of getting along a little bit better 674 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 6: and maybe solving some of these problems we're all dealing with. 675 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 2: I love that I will try to have more grace. 676 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 2: Thank you, Dana, Thank you so much for coming on. 677 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,040 Speaker 1: Love talking to you. Check out her show, get her books. 678 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: She's fantastic. Dana Lash, thank. 679 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 2: You, thank you, thanks so much for joining us on 680 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,160 Speaker 2: the Carol Marcowitch Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.